#why was I drinking double vodkas and red bull and coke last night ??

[cynical-things]

god I am never drinking again

[silverlightqueen]

Ruin My Life - Part 9

RML masterlist

(fratboy!Jimin - lots and lots of A N G ST & some fluff)

Summary - y/n, Mija, Chen and Jackson experience their most eventful night out yet ft. a certain jung hoseok👀 as well as angry Eunwoo, angry Jimin and shady jeongyeon

Word Count - 9.8k+

Warnings - no smut in this one, (but trust me, i’ll make up for that in the next chapter👀) um violence ig, mention of blood, discussion of alcohol, discussion of sex, bad language, that’s it ig

a/n: hey y’all ! I think this is gonna be the penultimate part which is like totally breaking my heart rn bc ruin my life is my baby :( lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist x

silverlightqueen masterlist

taglist💕: @keylowmonie @jennafromhome @btrombley13 @parkjammys @chubschimmine @flowingwiththewater​ @magicalpjm​ @sakurauchiha2018​ @kyrie1707​ @simonemothjensen​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @p-yoon @wtfcalumthomas​

‘y/n, I’m gonna beat your ass one of these days, hurry the fuck up!’ Mija screams from the living room. ‘Sorry, I’m coming!’ I shout back, rushing around my room like a madwoman, looking for my phone. As soon as I find it, in my makeup bag for some reason, I turn off my music and sprint (as best as one can in heels) into the living room. ‘I’m sorry, I really am. I had to do a last-minute outfit change because the heels that go with the other outfit are at the ASP house,’ I say, Jackson grinning as Mija rolls her eyes and Chen raises an eyebrow. ‘Jimin or Tae’s room?’ Jackson asks, and I swat at him, the boy laughing maniacally as he ducks away from my hand. ‘I prefer this outfit anyway. Makes your ass look bigger,’ Chen says, and I grin, doing a twirl. I’m dressed in ripped blue skinny jeans with a black fluffy bralet, black fluffy heels on my feet and some gold clips in my hair, a gold necklace with the pendant resting between my collarbones. I’m also wearing Jimin’s ring, and I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. It’s pretty and has sentimental value, and I’m so used to wearing it now that my hand feels wrong without it. 

‘Won’t you get cold when we leave?’ Mija asks, dressed more sensibly than I am, in a pair of black ripped jeans and long-sleeved nude bodysuit, black heels on her feet and a black denim jacket tied at her waist. ‘Chen’s wearing a jacket that matches my outfit perfectly,’ I say, Chen grinning as he pulls on his black bomber over his dark blue t-shirt and black jeans; a simple outfit, but effective, making him look handsome and classy. ‘Why can’t you wear jackets that match my outfit, so I don’t have to take one?’ Mija complains to Jackson, who’s dressed top-to-toe in Fendi; jeans, shirt, shoes, scarf, jewellery, hat, even socks (god knows how he affords it all, but damn, does he look good in it). ‘Because you’re an independent woman who doesn’t need to rely on her man for a jacket,’ Jackson says, Mija obviously liking his answer, the smug look on her face a clear indication, and Chen and I exchange an amused glance.

‘Anyway, I’ve literally sobered up from pre-drinks because it’s 1am, so we need to get to the bar asap. I wanna get our usual booth and get some more drinks down me,’ Mija says, grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the door. Chen locks the apartment behind us, Mija and I giggling as we stumble down the corridor towards the lift, the boys following behind. We’re only waiting for a minute or two for the Uber to arrive, and the whole time, Mija and I do stupid tiktok dances, still slightly tipsy, Jackson and Chen watching us in amusement. The drive to the bar flies by as usual, Chen making conversation with the driver as the three of us take selfies and pictures of each other in the back of the car. When we arrive, Chen and Jackson flash their VIP cards like always, and again, we ignore the annoyed shouting from the people waiting in the queue as we enter the bar. It’s packed, the smell of alcohol strong on the air, the heavy bass of the song currently playing nearly shaking the floor. Jackson wraps an arm around Mija’s waist, pulling her close to his side, as Chen grabs hold of my hand, the four of us making our way over to our usual booth. The boys go to get drinks, eight Jager bombs and four vodka cokes.

‘The ASP boys are here,’ Mija says over the music, and I roll my eyes. ‘I’m not surprised. Are they with LSG?’ I ask, not wanting to look myself. ‘Yep. Nayeon’s all up JK. Ooh, Sana and Joon are dancing together. Oh, God, I think I can see Dahyun and Yoongi dancing together as well. Chungae’s here, dancing with Jeongyeon… and Jimin. Oh, my God, is that Tzuyu grinding on Tae? Damn, ASP and LSG are literally the university sluts,’ Mija says drily, and I supress a laugh. ‘Don’t slut shame,’ I say. ‘I’m not. I’m one myself, it’s totally fine,’ Mija says, and I grin at her. ‘Are we finding you a man tonight? And not one that’s friends with your ex, or your ex?’ she asks, and I slap her lightly on the arm. ‘No, I don’t want a man. I’m happy to spend the night with you guys,’ I say. ‘You should at least dance with a guy. Make Park jealous,’ she says with a mischievous glint in her eye. ‘That means I care,’ I begin. ‘You do care,’ she interjects, but I carry on as though she never spoke; ‘And it’s not like he cares anyway. He wouldn’t be jealous.’ ‘Judging by his reaction to you and Tae, I think he would be,’ Mija says drily, and I roll my eyes. ‘Tae told me he’s over it. He said he’s seen Jeongyeon at the frat loads in the past couple weeks,’ I say. ‘Yeah, right, I bet Tae’s just saying that to make you get into bed with him again,’ Mija says.

Tae and I have spent a lot of time together since we slept together, two weeks ago today. I’ve seen a lot of all the ASP boys actually (except for Jimin, and Hoseok – I haven’t seen him for a while actually), what with the party planning and all. We all went on a road trip to get the decorations; on the way there, I was in Joon’s car with him, Jungkook, Mija and Jackson, and on the way back, I was in Chen’s car with him, Jin, Taehyung and Yoongi. We stopped for lunch while we were there, and I really enjoyed it; I think this is the beginning of a new friendship group. Tae, Yoongi, JK and Joon have showed up several times to our apartment with no warning, wanting to watch a movie or something together, and Tae and I have been for coffee together between lectures and seminars a few times. They’re all urging me to accept one of their offers for the end-of-year party, because it’s in three weeks’ time and they want plenty of notice. The rager is also in two weeks and everyone’s been talking about it; what they’re wearing, who they’re bringing, what they’re planning on drinking. It’s the talk of the university. Part of me is dreading it, but it’s always amazing, possibly the messiest night of my year every time. I’m always allowed to sleep over, so Mija and I will be getting ready there beforehand, helping to set up and then sleeping on a blow-up bed in Joon’s room. Chen and Jackson are both invited too, despite being KPN boys, and the boys have also said that Jackson, Chen and Mija can all come to the end-of-year party, even if they’re not anyone’s date (the only term is that they’ll have to share a meal with someone else because the catering company won’t have enough food for three extra people).

Jackson and Chen arrive back with our drinks, the four of us downing our Jager bombs in quick succession, before sipping on our vodka cokes. We stay seated for a while, just drinking and chatting, getting progressively more and more tipsy. At points, Joon, Tae, JK, Jin and Yoongi all come over to say hi, and they’re all given very enthusiastic greetings from the four of us. After an hour or so, the time on my phone reading 2.27, I get up to get some more drinks, Mija and Chen deep in conversation about what they think their favourite K-pop band BTS’ next comeback will be like and Jackson trying to type out a text to his mum to let her know he’s safe and fine. I take Jackson’s VIP card with me, and so I reach the front of the bar quickly, placing my order for several shots and drinks, and wait patiently, the bartender telling me it might be a while due to them running out of Red Bull, but assuring me one of the employees has run to the local supermarket to get some more and will be back any moment now. I sit on a barstool, in my own little world, thinking about what colour dress I’m planning on wearing when Mija and Jackson get married, and it isn’t until I feel a big hand appear on my back that I’m aware of my surroundings once more. I turn to see the owner of the hand, and am surprised to see Hoseok’s handsome face for the first time in a long time.

‘Hobi!’ I exclaim, jumping up and throwing my arms around him, and he lets out a laugh into my ear, hugging me back. ‘So I see you’re making appearances again, y/n,’ Hoseok says amusedly, and I roll my eyes, taking my seat as he sits down beside me. ‘So are you, it seems. Where have you been?’ I ask, and his eyes sparkle. ‘Why? Missed me?’ he asks. ‘Yes, now stop acting coy, what happened to you?’ I ask. ‘I haven’t been too well, so I didn’t think it was best that I went out. Basically, I was responsible for the first time in my life,’ he says, both of us laughing together. ‘What do you want to drink?’ I ask, and he shakes his head. ‘It’s fine, I’ll get my own,’ he says, and I hold up the VIP card. ‘Why pay when I can get you one for free?’ I say, and he grins. ‘Sis, you get more and more boujee every time I see you. Getting fucked in diamond chokers, VIP card for the best bar in the area,’ he jokes, and I let out a giggle. A giggle. What’s wrong with me? ‘I’ll have a double vodka and coke,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Okay, we getting drunk drunk tonight, huh?’ I say, and he lets out a laugh. ‘Why not? It’s my first time out in a while, I deserve it,’ he says, just as the bartender brings over the Jager bombs. ‘Can I have two more of these, and another double vodka coke please?’ I ask, the bartender smiling as he nods. This guy’s seen enough of me the past few weeks, I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten sick of me, but I’m still treated to slices of fruit or umbrellas in my drinks from time to time, and a big smile every time I make an order. He brings over the other two Jager bombs, Hoseok and I doing two each whilst waiting for the bartender to bring over the rest of our drinks. Once he’s brought over five vodka cokes, one for Hoseok and one each for us guys, Hoseok picks up three and I pick up two, the boy helping me to carry them back over to our booth.

Chen, Mija and Jackson greet Hoseok warmly, probably just because he’s got their drinks, and once he’s said hello to all of them, he turns back to me. ‘Hey, you know that thing we’re having? That party? Will you be my date?’ he says, and I actually laugh aloud. ‘You’re the sixth person to ask me, Hoseok,’ I say, his mouth falling open. ‘You’re joking?’ he asks, and I shake my head. ‘But I’ll consider your offer,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Much appreciated. You wanna dance?’ he offers, and I raise an eyebrow, the boys holding two hands in the air. ‘Hey, listen, Jimin’s moved on and so have you. It’s totally fine. And anyway, I promise you, I just wanna dance. I’m not expecting it to end like it did with you and Taehyung,’ he says amusedly, and my mouth falls open. ‘So everyone knows about that, huh?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘Well, a lot of us heard you guys on the actual night, and it got around to the rest of us. I had the pleasure of hearing him dicking you down against the wall so Jimin could hear,’ he grins, and I cover my face in embarrassment. ‘If I say I’ll dance with you, will you stop talking?’ I say, and he bursts out laughing. ‘Come on,’ he says, gently grabbing my wrist and leading me to the dance floor. We dance together for a while, keeping it very PG, but as the alcohol gets to my head, I start to realise three things; the first is how good-looking Hoseok is, which is very, by the way. His dark hair is swept back from his forehead, revealing his clear and tan face, and his heart-shaped lips and bright, sparkling eyes only add to the appeal. The second thing I notice is how good of a dancer is. The man can move. His hips sway deliciously smoothly, his movements practically dripping with rhythm and flow. The third thing I notice is how tight his clothes are, the black top displaying his amazing figure, the toned muscles and the slim waist, and his black jeans show his thick thighs, the curves of his legs, the bulge of his crotch. Quite simply, the man, and everything about him, is amazing. I manage to restrain myself for quite a long time. And then the music changes.

A slow RnB track begins to float out of the speakers, the dancers around us holding each other close, whining and grinding to no end. Hoseok gives me an amused look, obviously wondering how far I’m willing to take this, and if I were sober, this is where I’d go sit back down. But I’m not. So I don’t. Instead, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, hands resting on his strong back, and hold him close, the boy grinning to himself as his arms snake around my waist, pulling me even closer. We dance slowly and sensually, his expensive aftershave flooding my senses, as I try to avoid eye contact, knowing I’ll probably do something stupid if I get lost in those shiny eyes of his. After a few songs, I realise my back is now pressed against his front, and I don’t quite remember how it happened. I can feel everything, his dick pressed firmly against my ass as he rolls his hips gently towards me, making my panties feel wetter and wetter by the second. After a while, I lose all inhibition and begin rolling my hips to move in time with his, meeting his grinds with slow ones of my own.

‘Fuck, y/n, you’ve got me half-hard in a fucking bar,’ he whispers into my ear, and I have to hold back a whimper at his words. I turn to face him, my eyes locking with his, and he sighs after a few moments. ‘You’re gone, aren’t you?’ he asks, and I shake my head. ‘I’m tipsy. Not too drunk,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘Your eyes are so dilated right now, y/n,’ he says, and I blink. ‘That happens when you’re looking at someone you’re attracted to,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘And when you’re drunk. God, y/n, you got me half-hard in a bar, but you’re too fucking drunk that I’ll feel bad if I take you home now,’ he says, and I sigh, pouting. ‘Hoseok, I’m really not that drunk. I’m literally thinking straight, I can see fine, like I’m totally not drunk. A little tipsy, yes, but not drunk,’ I say, maybe downplaying it slightly. Admittedly, it’s probably not the best thing to do (have sex with another of my kind-of-ex’s best friends) but it’s not like it matters that much, right? What’s Jimin gonna do? Just get angry again? It’s not like he’s not fucking Jeongyeon anyway. It’s totally fine, we’ve both moved on. Hoseok watches me carefully before sighing. ‘Let’s go sit in your booth for a little while, and if you seem okay, then we’ll go back to my place? Okay? Because I really don’t like having sex with a girl when she’s drunk,’ he says, leading me back to the booth. ‘Why? Messy? Bad head?’ I ask, and he laughs. ‘No, moron, because people’s morals and things are different when they’re drunk. I want her to be fully aware, fully willing. Not just down to fuck because she’s drunk,’ Hoseok says as we reach the booth. ‘Trust me,’ I say gently into his ear, ‘I’d be down even if I were stone-cold sober.’

I slide into the booth, Hoseok looking slightly flushed when he sits down beside me, and I supress a laugh at how his jeans are straining over his crotch. Bless him. ‘Having fun, you two?’ Mija asks amusedly, sat opposite us with her legs slung over Jackson’s lap, Chen sat beside me. The three of them seem to have sobered up, and are probably waiting for me to either come back with them or disappear home with someone else before they head back to mine and Mija’s apartment. ‘A bit too much, it seems, by the semi Hoseok’s showing off,’ Chen says drily, and Hoseok laughs, not embarrassed in the slightest. ‘What can I say? Your friend here is a tease,’ he says. ‘Why don’t you just call it a night and go back together?’ Jackson asks. ‘He thinks I’m too drunk,’ I say, the three of them looking at Hoseok in shock. ‘You think she’s drunk? Trust me, you’ll know drunk y/n when you see her, and this y/n is not even half way there. Sis would be passed out on the table if she were drunk,’ Mija says, and I pout. ‘I’m never that bad,’ I say, and she raises an eyebrow. ‘I have receipts, remember?’ she says, and I mutter a meek ‘never mind’ back at her. 

‘Okay, I’d very much like to see these receipts sometime, but for now, shall we head back? If they say you’re not drunk, I believe them,’ Hoseok says, and I grin at him. ‘One more shot for the road,’ I say before calling over one the waiters, asking for a couple more shots. He brings them over moments later, and Hoseok and I down them. We both rise up from our seats, and I promise Mija that I’ll keep her updated and promise Chen that I’ll let him know if I need a lift or anything in the morning. But before we can even begin walking away from the booth, I feel a hand roughly grab my shoulder and turn me around. I nearly lose my balance, both Hoseok and Chen helping to hold me up, and once I’m steady, I look to see who it is, my blood running cold when my eyes land on Eunwoo’s angry ones, making me sober up instantly.  

‘Don’t bother going back with this bitch, she’ll just leave you with blue balls,’ Eunwoo spits angrily, his frat brothers hanging around a few feet behind him. ‘You okay?’ Hoseok asks me, ignoring Eunwoo entirely, and I nod, turning to look at Jackson and Chen. ‘I thought you said he wasn’t coming here tonight,’ I say. ‘He wasn’t,’ Chen sighs tiredly, knowing it’s about to kick off. ‘Last minute change of plan, but I guess your little moles wouldn’t have known that, because they were too busy getting drunk at yours and Mija’s. I didn’t want to start on either of you for hanging with her, because it’s not that big of a deal, but the fact that you’re helping her avoid me, and hanging out with her over us is another thing all together,’ Eunwoo says angrily, directing his words to Chen and Jackson, both of them looking exasperated with their frat brother. 

‘For God’s sake, Eunwoo, grow up. You’re starting a scene in the middle of a bar because your ego is hurt that your ex left you with blue balls, and you wonder why we’d rather hang out with y/n over you,’ Jackson says, twisting the knife further. ‘Why are you siding with her?’ he demands, voice rising. ‘Eunwoo, there aren’t any sides! You and her are exes, but it doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to be friends with her. She’s Jackson’s girlfriend’s best friend, for God’s sake. Do you want Jackson to cut off his girlfriend’s best friend? Stop being so ridiculous and grow up. We’re friends with both of you, we hang out with both of you. y/n doesn’t have an issue with it, so why do you?’ Chen says diplomatically, but Eunwoo’s too angry to listen to reason. ‘Because she’s not the type of person you should associate with. She’s a fucking bitch. ASP’s little bitch to be precise,’ Eunwoo says venomously, and Mija rises up from her seat angrily, Jackson following suit as Hoseok steps towards Eunwoo. ‘You’re playing a dangerous game insulting y/n like that, Eunwoo, so I’m going to ask you to walk away before you get any of us angrier than we already are,’ Hoseok says calmly, and Eunwoo laughs. ‘Or what? What are you gonna do?’ Eunwoo says in Hoseok’s face, a droplet of saliva landing on Hoseok’s face, and he wipes it off coolly, obviously trying to control his temper, because he looks scary calm right now. ‘Eunwoo, just leave us alone,’ I begin to say, but before I can say anything else, I spot Jimin storming towards us, the rest of ASP and the LSG girls following in his wake. 

‘You were fucking pregnant? You were pregnant, and you didn’t fucking tell me?’ Jimin says angrily when he reaches us, Eunwoo suddenly moving the bottom of my list of problems. My head goes light at his words, my vision momentarily blurring, and I have to clutch onto Jackson’s forearm to steady myself. ‘I…’ I stutter, not knowing what to say, my heart practically beating out of my chest. ‘I don’t care what happened between us, y/n, but I would’ve thought you’d have at least told me, for fuck’s sake! You went and got an abortion and dealt with it all without speaking to me! What’s wrong with you?’ Jimin demands, angrier than I’ve ever seen him, and, over his shoulder, I can see Jeongyeon grinning maliciously. ‘y/n, that’s way out of line! You should’ve fucking told me! The sleeping with your ex, sleeping with Tae, nearly sleeping with Hoseok I can move past, but this is another thing entirely! I can’t believe you didn’t fucking tell me!’ Jimin says, my silence making him angrier and angrier. 

‘Enough, Jimin, this isn’t the place,’ Chen says calmly, placing a gentle hand on Jimin’s chest, and Jimin pushes him off. ‘I wanna hear what she has to say for herself,’ Jimin says, and I don’t even know what to do or say, my mind racing but blank at the same time, shock having overtaken my body. ‘I didn’t…’ I begin to say, not even knowing what’s about to come out of my mouth. ‘Speak up,’ Jimin says neutrally. ‘I didn’t… I didn’t sleep with Eunwoo,’ I say quietly, wanting to kick myself for saying that. ‘Oh, good to know you’ve got at least some sense then,’ Jimin says. ‘I was right, she really is ASP’s bitch. The whole fucking frat’s passing her around,’ Eunwoo says to one of his frat brothers, purposely loud enough for us all to hear him. Hobi, Jimin, Jackson and Jungkook all go for him at the same time, but Mija beats them to it, landing a hard slap square on his cheek. He stands in shock for a moment before swinging for Mija, and Jackson grabs Mija’s arm, pulling her out of his reach just in time. Jimin takes his chance then, swinging for Eunwoo whilst the boy is distracted, and lands a punch under his jaw. Eunwoo takes a moment before swinging back for him, his fist landing on Jimin’s eye. It quickly becomes a fight, both of them landing punch after punch, and I look around at the boys, wanting one of them to intervene, unable to believe my eyes. I step forward to stop it and Chen grabs hold of me. ‘Don’t be stupid, y/n, you can’t stop them,’ he says, before stepping around me to stop it himself.

‘Gosh, y/n, you should be careful. Wouldn’t want the baby to get hurt, would we?’ Jeongyeon says, a few of her minions laughing along with her, the other LSG girls that I’m friends with staying silent. I ignore her, knowing she’s not worth it, continuing to watch as Chen and Jin attempt to pull Jimin and Eunwoo apart. ‘Surely you shouldn’t even be here, right? Pregnant women can’t drink, remember? Already a bad mother,’ she continues, her minions indulging her with their annoyingly high-pitched laughter. ‘Oh, look at that. Her bump is showing,’ Jeongyeon says, her and her minions dissolving into giggles, and it’s the last straw. All I can see is red when I turn to face her and pounce before anyone can stop me. The laughter on her face disappears quickly when she sees how angry I am, and she tries to shield herself, her attempts fruitless, because I manage to slap her across her face, hard, her makeup coming off onto my hand. ‘You fucking bitch!’ she shouts, grabbing a handful of my hair and yanking it. I rake my nails across her face, hearing her scream, and I can’t help but feel satisfaction when I see blood blooming from where my nails cut her. She kicks out at me, her foot colliding with my shin, and I will myself not to let out a single noise as I elbow her in the boob, the other girl falling to the floor in pain.

It’s only when she hits the floor and I feel a pair of hands pulling me away from her that I come back to reality, wanting to hit myself for losing control and hurting someone like that. It’s not like she doesn’t deserve it, but I’m better than that. I wonder what’s going on now, but when my eyes land on the scene around me, what I see is completely unexpected. Nearly all of the boys are either fighting, or trying to break up a fight. Quite simply, a brawl has broken out. I turn to see who’s hands are on me, and see Sana pulling me away. And then security appears, dozens of burly men and women breaking us apart and leading us all away from the exit, towards the back of the bar. The woman holding onto me isn’t gentle in the slightest, practically dragging me through the bar, and they push us all into one big room that looks like it was once used as a kitchen. ‘The police are on their way. Don’t even think about starting another fight,’ one security guard says, all of us panicking at the mention of the police. ‘It’s fine,’ Chen says, ‘I’ll call my dad. He’ll sort this out, we’re not going with the police.’

An hour later, I’m sat in the police station at a table in a typical questioning room opposite a kind-eyed male police officer, a recording device sat on the table between us. He’s already explained all my rights to me and is about to start asking me questions. Some of the others are also being questioned, and the rest of us are sat in a holding cell. The bar staff watched the CCTV back and pointed out which of us were involved, and so all the ASP and KPN boys are here, as well as Mija, Jeongyeon and Sana, all the other LSG girls being let off. ‘So, y/n, do you want to explain to me what happened, and the lead up to what happened?’ the police officer says. ‘Um, the whole lead up? Because it’s a long story,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I have all night. Go ahead, y/n,’ he says, and I sigh.

‘Um, okay, I’ll try to keep it short if I can. Basically, I used to date Eunwoo in freshman and sophomore year. Then I broke up with him because he started to become abusive, and I started sleeping with Jimin. Not dating, just sleeping with him. But then I caught feelings and I cut him off. A couple months ago, we ended up sleeping together again, and then the second time we slept together, the condom broke, so I was scared I was pregnant. But I took a morning after pill and did some pregnancy tests, and I wasn’t, so it was fine. And I got my period as well. Then a couple nights later, we went out for dinner, but we got a call that a party had started back at his frat. So we went back to help kick people out and clean up, but while I was cleaning up, he went and slept with Jeongyeon in his room. I didn’t know, but Namjoon did, and he didn’t want to have to break it to me, so he offered for me to sleep in his room, so I did. I found out the next morning when I saw her leaving his room, and then I cut him off and fell into a complete depression. Him and his friends were blowing up my phone, showing up to my apartment, waiting outside my lectures, so I went to extreme lengths to hide from them all. Meanwhile, I found out that I actually was pregnant and went and got an abortion with Mija, but one of Jeongyeon’s sorority sisters was there doing work experience. Anyway, then one night, after around a month, I saw him going up to my apartment just as I was, so I slept in the library to avoid speaking to him. Mija found me the next morning, and told me to just face him, so I did. I went to confront him, but ended up confessing my feelings to him. He horribly rejected me, and I ended up falling into an even worse depression. His friends were still blowing up my phone, but he wasn’t, and then it got out to our whole university what had happened, so everyone was trying to get hold of me to either see if I was okay or find out the gossip. So I hid in my bedroom for an entire week. Then Mija intervened, said I needed to get my life together, and made me sort myself out so we could go out that night. We went to a bar and I saw Chen and ended up catching up with him when Mija went home with Jackson. Then Eunwoo, my ex, appeared, and I was drunk and stupid and ended up going back to his but chickened out while he was in the toilet and Chen helped me escape the frat. He took me to spend the night with Namjoon. Then, two weeks after that, I went to the bar again with Mija, Jackson and Chen, and ended up going home with Jimin’s friend, Taehyung. Then, fast forward to tonight, I nearly went home with another of Jimin’s friends, Hoseok, but Eunwoo appeared and started shouting at Chen and Jackson for being friends with me, because they’re in the same frat, and called me ASP’s bitch. Then Hoseok told him to leave but before anything else could happen, Jimin appeared and started shouting at me for not telling him I was pregnant, meaning that Jeongyeon’s friend must have told him. I was in shock, I didn’t know what to do, and he also brought up me going home with Eunwoo and Taehyung, and nearly doing the same with Hoseok. I told him I didn’t sleep with Eunwoo, and then Eunwoo said again that I’m ASP’s bitch and said I’m getting passed around the whole frat. Mija slapped him, and he went to hit Mija back, but Jackson pulled her out of his way. Then Jimin went for him and them two started fighting. Then Jeongyeon started saying to me that I should be careful because I’m pregnant, and shouldn’t be drinking, and that my bump is showing, and I lost it at that because I know full well that I do not have a stomach that looks like a baby bump, so I went for her. I admit, I did hit her first, and we were going at it for a bit before Sana pulled me away from her. Then security appeared and dragged us into the back, and you know the rest,’ I say, taking a deep breath at the end.

Saying it like that makes me realise just how insane my life has been. It’s been one thing after another; pregnancies, sex, exes, feelings, rejections, mental breakdowns, interventions, new friends, old friends, ex friends. My life’s been like a Bollywood drama or a fanfiction or something. ‘Right,’ the police officer says, sighing, ‘that was a long story, and I can tell that that’s just the summarised version. At the moment, it seems as though it was nothing too serious, but we will have to ask Jeongyeon if she wants to press charges against you for assault, which she very well may be able to. As for her friend who exposed your pregnancy and abortion, she’s broken the Hippocratic oath and so that must go on her criminal record. So if you can give us her name and we’ll look into it. I also don’t think there’s much we can do about the abuse from Eunwoo as it was two years ago, and I doubt you have evidence to prove it. We might believe you, but we have to have solid fact to prove it’ he says. ‘Yeah, I don’t want to do anything with Eunwoo, but I’ll give you the details about Jeongyeon’s friend,’ I say, and he nods as I note down Chungae’s details for him. ‘Thank you, y/n, I’ll take you back to the holding cell with your friends now,’ he says, and I nod, rising up from my seat. He leads me through the police station, back into the holding cell, and doesn’t bother locking it. None of us are stupid enough to start trouble in a police station. The ASP boys, Mija, Jackson and Chen sit in the middle of cell, the rest of the KPN boys on one side, Jeongyeon and Sana on the other with Jimin sat a couple feet away from them, alone. I look around, and decide I’m going to be the bigger person.

My friends watch in confusion as I walk over to Jeongyeon and Sana, the latter giving the former a stern talking to, it seems. ‘Hi, Sana. Um, Jeongyeon, I just wanted to apologise for going for you like that. It was wrong of me,’ I say, and she looks up at me. ‘If you’re apologising to stop me from pressing charges, you can think again,’ she says spitefully, and I sigh internally, knowing this will go onto my criminal record now. Sana elbows her, visibly annoyed, and I hold back a laugh. ‘That’s not why I’m apologising. I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to do,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. She looks at Sana, who looks at her expectantly, before sighing defeatedly. ‘I accept your apology,’ she says, Sana obviously waiting for more. ‘And I’m sorry for telling Jimin about your pregnancy and abortion,’ she says, Sana still waiting for more. ‘And being a bitch to you in the bar about it,’ she says, Sana still looking at her expectantly. ‘And I’m not gonna press charges,’ she says, Sana smiling at me serenely. ‘Apology accepted. Let’s agree to leave each other alone,’ I say, holding out a hand, and she nods, shaking it.

And then I join Jimin, sitting down on the bench beside him. We both sit in silence for a few moments, before he speaks. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asks quietly, head in his hands, and I let out a humourless laugh. ‘You didn’t have a right to know.’ ‘I know, but… I didn’t think you’d go through that yourself. I thought you’d come to me. I’m not angry because you didn’t tell me; I’m angry because you suffered alone when you didn’t have to,’ he says. ‘I didn’t suffer. And I had Mija,’ I say. ‘But I thought you’d want me with you,’ he says quietly. ‘I did. I did want you with me. But you made your feelings towards me clear. You can’t be angry now,’ I reply, and he sighs. ‘y/n, I… I lied,’ he says, and I laugh humourlessly again. ‘What about this time?’ ‘My feelings. I did like you. I do like you. I more than like you. It’s just difficult,’ he says, and I scoff. 

‘What’s so difficult about this, Jimin? We’re not Romeo and Juliet, or Cathy and Heathcliff, or Tristan and Isolde, or Jack and Rose, or Hamlet and Ophelia, or Gatsby and Daisy,’ I say. ‘I don’t know how the majority of those people are, but I get the gist. It’s not even us, y/n, it’s me. I want to be with you, of course I do. It’s just… I don’t think I’m capable of being loyal to you, and I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to break your heart. You deserve better than someone who can’t be loyal to you, who can’t love you completely,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘I’m sorry, Jimin, but that’s such a cop-out. How can you claim you want to be with me, if you don’t even like me enough to be loyal?’ I say, and he shakes his head, frustrated. ‘No, no, it’s coming out wrong. I mean… I mean that I want to be with you, and I could be with you, and the chances are that I would be loyal to you, because to me, you’re the only girl in the world, y/n. I’m just scared that that might change one day. I don’t want it to, but what if it does? I don’t want to hurt you, you deserve more than that, more than me,’ he says, head still in his hands. ‘Then that happens. That’s what love is, Jimin. It’s unpredictable and it can be fickle, and if our love changes, then that’s okay. But for now, you… like me, and I like you. That’s all that matters, right?’ I say, and he looks at me for the first time.

His eyes are rimmed with red and his hair is a dishevelled and fluffy mess, eyes and cheeks puffy. He also has a black eye coming, as well as a split lip and a cut on his cheekbone. ‘I guess. I never thought about it like that,’ he says. ‘Of course you didn’t,’ I say quietly with a soft smile. ‘I’m just so scared,’ he says, and I take his hand in mine. ‘So am I, Jimin, terrified, in fact. But it’s okay,’ I say, and he smiles. A few seconds later, the smile falls from his face and he pulls his hand from mine. ‘I… you know the thing with me and Jeongyeon?’ he says, and the smile falls from my face too at that. ‘Yeah,’ I say hesitantly. ‘It wasn’t true. I said it to try and get you to move on from me,’ he says. ‘Don’t lie to me. I saw her leaving your room wearing your clothes,’ I say, and his head whips up, confusion etched across his face. ‘Wait, what?’ he says. ‘I saw her, leaving your room, wearing your clothes, the morning after we went for dinner,’ I say again, slowly. 

‘But… we didn’t sleep together. She left. Honestly. I went up to my room to check no one was in there, while we were tidying up, and she followed me up. She tried to get me into bed, but I rejected her, and she confronted me, asking me if you and I were together. I told her, no, we’re not together, but we’re fucking. And she went mad. We argued for ages. Then, she left, or so I thought, and when I went looking for you around the frat, I saw Chungae and asked her if she’d seen you. She said she saw you go home, and I couldn’t find my phone to text you, so I just went to bed, thinking I’d speak to you in the morning when I found my phone. Then, I was alone in bed when I woke up. The last time I saw her was when she left my room after our argument,’ he says. ‘But, Jimin, I heard you talking to her in the morning,’ I say, sceptical about his story. ‘y/n, when I woke up, I was alone. I must have been talking in my sleep or something,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow, still suspicious.

‘Jeongyeon,’ he calls, the girl turning to look at us. ‘Did you come sleep in my room the night of that party, when we argued?’ he asks, and she shakes her head, looking puzzled. ‘I saw you coming out of his room in the morning, wearing his clothes, and you were speaking to him when I walked past his room,’ I say, and realisation is etched across her face. ‘I ended up sleeping with Jongho, the junior, and I was wearing his clothes. I went into Jimin’s room because I couldn’t find my phone and thought I might have left it there. He was saying your name in his sleep, and I said, ‘no, idiot, it’s me, not your girlfriend’ but he was asleep, so he didn’t reply. I ended up finding his phone, so I left it on his bedside table, and I eventually found mine in the kitchen. But no, I didn’t sleep in your room. What do you think I am?’ she says indignantly before turning away from us. 

‘See? I promise, I didn’t sleep with her. Not once. Not since I slept with you again. I haven’t slept with anyone since then,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Tae told me he saw Jeongyeon at the frat a lot,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘The only time I called her over was after you slept with Tae, because I was angry, and I wanted revenge, but you left before she even arrived, so I just sent her straight back home. All the other times, she just showed up, probably to see Jongho,’ he says. I want to believe him, but I’m still slightly suspicious. ‘Please, y/n, you have to believe me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I promise. It’s only you for me. I could never have slept with anyone else,’ he says, and there is true sincerity in his eyes, and an openness I’ve never seen before. This is him putting down his walls and letting me in. ‘I believe you,’ I say quietly, feeling slightly stupid for jumping to conclusions before. To be fair, it’s not like I didn’t have evidence, even if the evidence wasn’t what I thought it was. ‘You do?’ he asks, sounding as though he’s been told he won the lottery. ‘I do,’ I say. 

‘Wait, hold up, did you just propose?’ Jackson asks, everyone looking at us. ‘No, idiot, ‘I do’ is in the marriage vows,’ I say, rolling my eyes. ‘Did you just get married?’ he asks, sounding genuinely stunned, and Mija hits him around the head. ‘Moron,’ she mutters, and I hold back to a laugh, turning to face Jimin once more. ‘So what does this mean? For us?’ he asks. ‘I still need you to show me. I need you to show me that I can trust you, that I can give you my heart. I know I said I want you to ruin my life, but I want you to ruin it for the better,’ I say, and he lets out a soft chuckle. ‘I don’t think you can ruin things for the better,’ he says, a soft smile on his plump lips. ‘You can. I want you to ruin it as it is, but so it turns out better in the end,’ I say, and he nods, still smiling. ‘I’ll try my best, for you, princess,’ he says.

‘Right, listen up, kids,’ a police officer says from the door of the cell. ‘None of you want to press charges and so that means we’re going to let you go. Just… in the future, please refrain from… well, everything that led you up to this point. Those of you that are above the limit will have to get taxis home, and we can provide those,’ the police officer says. We sort out the taxis, deciding that the KPN boys will get one seven-seater, the ASP boys will get one seven-seater, Jeongyeon and Sana will get one five-seater, and Chen, Jackson, Jimin, Mija and I will get another seven-seater with two drop-off points, Jimin saying he’ll walk up from KPN to his own frat. I end up being sat at the very back of the cab by myself, Jimin at the front and Mija, Jackson and Chen in the middle, and so I just think. I think about everything that’s happened over the past couple months. I think about what I’m going to do about Eunwoo. I think about how I owe Mija, Jackson and Chen for being such good friends. I think about what’s going to happen with Chungae. I think about Jeongyeon, and how our friendship turned so sour in sophomore year. And I think about Jimin. When we reach our apartment, Mija turns to look at me. ‘I’m gonna head back to KPN with Jackson. I think you and Jimin should stay together tonight,’ she says, loudly enough for the others to hear before whispering just to me, ‘tend to his wounds, talk it all out, but don’t sleep with him. It’s better to get these conversations done straight away, while it’s still fresh and still on your mind.’ ‘Thank you, Mija. Text me to keep me updated,’ I say, beginning to climb out of the taxi. ‘And you do the same!’ she calls after me. Jimin and I wave at the taxi as it drives away, Jackson sticking his head out of the taxi like a dog.

As soon as it’s out of view, Jimin and I head up to the apartment in a comfortable silence. As soon as I step in, I kick off my heels and check the time, the clock in our living room reading 5.03am. ‘God, look at the time,’ I say to Jimin, before turning to look at him. The police station cleaned his wounds and put plasters on them, but they don’t look very effective, blood already seeping through. ‘Right, I hate to be like a mafia wife from a shitty film, but let me sort out your injuries,’ I say, grabbing our makeshift first aid kit from the kitchen before leading him into my en suite, knowing that that’s where the best lighting is. I tap the side, Jimin jumping up onto it with a wince. ‘Was it just your face?’ I ask, and he shakes his head. ‘He booted my shin, and I’m pretty sure it bled, and he smashed a glass on my arm, so there’s a cut there too,’ he says, my eyes widening. ‘When did this happen?’ I ask, rifling through our first aid kit. ‘When you were attacking Jeongyeon. Good job, by the way,’ he grins, and I laugh gently.

I roll up his jeans leg, the tight material just about going past where he was kicked on his lower shin, and the skin there has already begun to bruise. There’s a small cut with blood dried around it, and I will myself not to gag at the sight of it. I put some antiseptic onto a piece of tissue and gently clean the cut, Jimin only flinching very slightly. Once I’ve cleaned it, I put some cream on that reduces inflammation and swelling (to help the bruising go down), followed by a proper plaster (so thick, it’s almost a bandage). I move onto his arm, little gritty bits of glass still resting on his skin. I clean them away, being careful to make sure none of it goes onto the cut, before cleaning the cut itself and putting a plaster on that too. I move onto his face then, recleaning those cuts and replacing the plasters. I put the cream on the area around his eye too, noticing that the area under his eyebrow has already begun to swell. 

As I’m doing so, he gently grabs my wrist, looking at my hand. ‘Is that… you wear my ring?’ he asks, and I nod shyly. ‘I… I feel naked without it. It’s like a piece of me now,’ I say, and he beams at me. ‘Do you wanna put some ice on your eye?’ I ask, changing the subject before I get embarrassed, and he shakes his head. ‘That cream feels like ice on my skin, it should be more than enough,’ he says, and I nod. ‘What about you?’ he asks, and I grin. ‘The bitch barely touched me,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘All she did was pull my hair and kick my shin. I’ll probably have a bruise on my shin, but it’s fine,’ I say, and he grins. ‘That’s my girl,’ he says, my heart swelling at his words.

‘Do you want some water or something?’ I ask, filling up the glass beside the sink, and he nods. I hand it to him, and he downs it in one. He fills it again, and hands it to me to drink and I smile at him before sipping it down, bit by bit. ‘Come on, you need to change out of those clothes,’ I say, leading him into the bedroom. ‘Have you got any clothes for me though?’ he asks. ‘I think so,’ I say, rifling around in my wardrobe. I find a pair of his boxers, black Calvins, from sophomore year, throwing them to him, and he chuckles as I root around for anything else of his. ‘These are fine, if you can’t find anything else,’ he says, and I roll my eyes jokingly. ‘Of course they are,’ I say, loving the laugh he gives in return. 

I grab a pair of shorts and a strappy vest and go into the en suite, letting Jimin have his privacy to change, and giving myself that privacy too. It’s too soon to be naked in front of him again. I quickly change, wash off my makeup and brush through my hair, and when I go back into the bedroom, Jimin’s sat on the edge of the bed in just the boxers, his clothes neatly folded in the corner of the room. I try my hardest not to ogle his beautiful body, opting for putting my dirty clothes beside his. ‘Shall I sleep on the sofa, or…?’ he trails off, obviously not wanting to pressure me into anything, and I smile softly. ‘You can sleep in the bed, with me. But we’re just sleeping. That’s it,’ I say, and he nods with a smile. He climbs into bed, on the same side he always slept on, and I climb in beside him after replying to a couple texts from Namjoon and Mija letting me know they’re safe.

We just lie side-by-side, shoulders touching, and I listen to the sound of our breathing, the only sound I can hear. It’s like the rest of the world is silent, and it’s just us. ‘I wish I’d confessed my feelings for you sooner. I liked you in sophomore year, you know? I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you,’ he says, and I laugh gently, not having enough energy to feel surprised. ‘I know why. You’re not the relationships kinda guy,’ I say simply, and he chuckles. ‘I wasn’t the friends-with-benefits kinda guy. Until I met you. I wasn’t the ‘stay the morning after’ kinda guy. Until I met you. I wasn’t the ‘run out and get pregnancy tests and morning-after pills at the crack of dawn’ kinda guy. Until I met you. I’d never fallen in love with someone. Until I met you,’ he says gently. ‘Love?’ I ask. ‘Love,’ he confirms, hesitating before he continues.

‘I love you, y/n. I always have, baby, always. And I never even realised it. I’d been keeping an eye on you for a while, and when I heard you’d broken up with Eunwoo, I approached you at the first possible moment. I went over to you – do you remember that party? – I went over to you, offered you a drink, and you said ‘no, thanks, I’ve got one already’ and turned away from me. That was the moment,’ he says, and I look at him in confusion. ‘The moment I fell in love with you. The first girl to turn her back to me, to not care that it was me. And that’s one of the things that made me want you more than anything. You didn’t care who I was, didn’t care for my reputation. I didn’t have to live up to the image of ‘Park Jimin’ because you didn’t care who he was. So when I approached you again a couple hours later and we ended having a super deep and interesting conversation – the first one I’d ever had with a girl at a party – I knew you’d be part of my life. And then, we slept together, and it was amazing, the best sex I’d ever had. And I woke up in the morning, and you were gone. The first time a girl had ever done that to me. But you’d left a note, with your excuse of having a morning lecture, and your phone number. I was so eager to text you that I had to get one of the boys to hide my phone from me for a few hours. And then, every time I saw you, and we slept together, I fell for you even harder. And the mornings after didn’t help that at all,’ he admits, his words making me warm inside.

‘We wasted so much time,’ I say softly, and he nods. ‘I wish I hadn’t pushed you away. I wish I’d known, wish I’d understood that it was okay to feel uncertain, because that’s what love is. I don’t think I’ll ever fall out of love with you; it was just a possibility that scared me. And I guess I was scared that you’d do fall out of love with me. I’ve always felt like you could do better than me, but instead of being insecure about it, I should feel honoured that you’ve chosen me when there are so many others out there,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘Don’t feel honoured, idiot. There’s no one better than you in my eyes. You’re the only one for me, Jimin,’ I say, and he smiles gently. 

‘I’m sorry, y/n, for wasting so much time. I really am. But I hope I can make it up to you. I’m ready to give you my heart, and everything that comes with it. I’d give you anything if you asked for it,’ he says, and I smile. ‘We have all the time in the world. I’m not ready to be in an official relationship yet, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have time. We’re about to graduate, Jimin, not retire. We’ve got the rest of our lives. If that’s what you want, that is,’ I say. ‘Of course that’s what I want, y/n. I love you,’ he says. ‘I love you too, Park Jimin. Thank you for ruining my life,’ I say softly, turning to him and placing a hand on his cheek. He puts his hand over mine, his bright chocolate eyes locking with mine, and I wonder how I could’ve ever thought there was someone else out there for me, when the most amazing, the most beautiful, most kind, most sensitive and sweet, most generous and funny, most perfect boy in the world was there all along.

I started this story by saying that I love university. Everything about it. And that hasn’t changed, not a single bit. Yes, maybe the past couple months have been… rocky to say the least. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because I’ve learnt a lot. I’ve learnt about myself, how strong and resilient I can be when the situation calls for. I’ve learnt about friendship, and what a true friend is. Chen, Jackson, Namjoon, Jungkook, Yoongi, Jin, Taehyung, even Hoseok, all got into a fight in a bar to stick up for me. Mija, I’ve learnt, is my soul sister, my rock, the person who stuck by my side and supported me no matter what. And after seeing how my friends have been so kind and loyal, I’ve learnt that I should expect nothing less of a friend. I’ve learnt about cruelty, and how spiteful and vindictive humans can be, knowing Chungae’s degree will be a waste of time as she won’t be employed as a nurse for the rest of her life because of what she did to me. And I’ve learnt how far people will go for what they want, knowing Jeongyeon went to such lengths to get the boy she wanted, only for it to backfire in the end. I’ve learnt how nasty people can be, Eunwoo showing that some leopards never change their spots. And I’ve learnt about love.

Love is acceptance of someone, seeing their flaws and loving them anyway. Love is vulnerability, giving yourself to someone entirely, knowing it could hurt you in the end. Love is clarity, the realisation that everything else in your life was just the prologue to the story that is about to begin, now that you have someone to love. Love is mysterious and unpredictable, and no one will ever fully understand it. It looks with not only the eyes, but with the mind. Love will never be what you expect it to be, and it is untamed, never to be controlled or contained. Love is the little things; gentle touches, even gentler kisses, the look in your eye when you see them, smiles across a room, interlocked hands, words whispered across pillows, wanting to hear about their day just because it’s them, giving up your time for them, smiling at your phone when you see their name. Love is a union, looking in the same direction together rather than at each other. Love is not the excitement and the breathlessness and the passion and lying awake at night thinking of him. Love is what’s left after that, what’s left after the ‘being in love’ has burned away. Love is looking to the other person when someone tells a joke, to see the laughter they give, the smile on their face. Love doesn’t just begin and end, it’s not linear and structured; it’s always there, just lying asleep, waiting.

And for me, Jimin was the one the awakened it.

‘It was a pleasure, y/n,’ he whispers, pressing his lips to my forehead gently before moving back to look at me again, ‘it was a pleasure to ruin your life.’ And that’s how we fall asleep; lost in each other’s eyes.

[badassdauntlessgirl-blog]

Part 2

Story Title: It’s Our Paradise, It’s Our War Zone Chapter: 2 Previous Chapters: 1 Genre: Fan Fiction, Divergent Fandom Warnings: Strong Language, Adult Content Rating: NSFW Disclaimer: I own nothing, just writing to express myself.

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“That’s it up ahead.” Riley said pointing at a small building in the distance. “Doubt that, it’s tiny.” Nikki butted in. “It’s underground.” Riley replied sure of herself.  “We’re checking it out, on foot from here, grab your gear.” Eric ordered bringing the truck to a halt.  “You’re gonna listen to the rookie? Ha, Eric I really don’t think.” Nikki started. “You don’t think anything, I’m your commanding officer, that’s the orders.” Eric demanded. Riley secured her bulletproof vest and checked her gun was fully loaded then leaped out of the armored truck, quite a leap for her being only 5 feet, instantly she raised her arms and aimed her gun towards the building, the team moved in single file creeping through the tall grass on the lookout for any rebels. Eric ordered the twins and Nikki to go around the back and secure it; he, Hunter and Riley would take and secure the front of the building. Eric approached the closed door, kicked it in then he fell back allowing Riley to go in low while Hunter went in high with their guns at the ready, the room was completely empty, Eric motioned his index and middle finger on his right hand forward, Riley took lead through the doorway checked right and left and then continued forward, her brother and Eric watched her six as she continued.  “Sarge anything?” Josh’s voice crackled over the radio.  “Negative.” Eric informed his team members. The 3 soldiers moved silently and carefully through the unused building just as they’d been trained, up ahead a light illuminated a room, Eric tapped Riley on the shoulder, he pointed towards the door and nodded his head, Riley nodded back and faced the doorway once again her gun drawn. Eric squeezed her shoulder and she advanced, she kicked the door, it creaked open and immediately there was a flash of light and a pop. Eric, Hunter and Riley fell back and dropped low, Eric pulled his trigger and they heard a body crumble to the floor, it suddenly went silent and then there was another pop, Hunter spotted a rebel from his crouching position and fired his handgun, hitting him square in the head, he went down. Eric held up his fist and inched forward, he slowly went into the lighted room and said loud enough for Hunter and Riley to hear ‘clear’ they entered with their guns raised just as they were taught. Adrenaline buzzed through Riley, she had goosebumps, all she could hear was her heart beating in her chest and then she spotted a rebel raising his rifle pointing it in Eric’s direction, she double tapped and the meaningless soldier fell to the ground.  “Now we’re clear.” Riley pointed to the corner of the room “Trap door.” Eric pointed his weapon at the floor as Riley leaned down and pulled open the hatch, with her flashlight and gun raised she looked into the black hole a staircase barely visible “Clear.” Eric gave the order to continue on, Riley climbed down the wonky stairs first, once at the bottom she spun around doing a full sweep of her surroundings, it was dark and musty but clear. Eric and Hunter jumped down and joined her, they searched the dark room, maps and papers lined the walls and tables, they rummaged through the paperwork. “What have you got?” Eric asked from across the room.  “Building blueprints, run down unused piles of shit.” Riley replied fumbling with the papers on the table in front of her. A door at the back of the small dark room opened, Eric, Hunter and Riley kneeled down guns drawn, Nikki walked through the door. “Bloody hell Nikki.” Hunter sighed. “I almost blew your head off.”  “Button it up soldier.” Eric barked aggressively towards her. Nikki rolled her eyes the moment Eric turned away. “Did you run into anyone?”  “No, it’s all clear from our end.” Jack informed the team.  “Even so, this place could have laser censors, we could be compromised, hurry it up, grab what’s necessary and let’s get going.” Riley quickly sifted through some papers, spotting a map of Dauntless she grabbed that along with a few other documents. “Let’s wrap it up.” Eric ordered. The group exited through the back entrance, the twins took the lead since they came in that way, everyone was on high alert but the place seemed to be deserted, there was not a sound to hear besides Alpha teams footsteps crunching the broken glass on the ground beneath their feet. Once clear of the building and back at the truck Alpha team took off their bulletproof vests and put their rifles away, Riley slipped into the front passengers seat beside Eric who was driving and her brother, the twins and Nikki hopped in the back, Eric took off immediately, pedal to the metal, that was Eric’s style of driving; drive like you’re being chased.

Riley being the rookie it was her job to clean the truck, or at least that was the unspoken rules; rookies always did the shit jobs. Riley spent her time carefully and methodically cleaning the truck when she handed the keys over to Mikey he was impressed by her attention to detail. Riley walked through the tunnels of Dauntless, instead of heading home she went straight to the pit to her favorite bar, she took her usual seat, the hot black haired female bartender smiled at Riley. “Your usual?”  “Of course.” Riley smiled back. The thin nosed skinny chick poured a double vodka with red bull, Riley swallowed the liquid immediately and asked for another. As the bartender poured another a tall dark haired handsome man sat on the stool next to Riley, he ordered a rum and coke.  “You’re Riley right, the rookie?” Riley raised her brow unsure of the gentleman. “I’m Nick, I eh, I’m Delta, news travels fast around here.”  “Sure does.” Riley replied still unsure of the stranger. His sea blue eyes caught Riley’s gaze, his hair was perfectly sculpted and his face was covered in few days old stubble.  “Heard you saved Eric’s ass?” Nick chuckled. “Yeah you did, where’d you hear that?” Riley asked intrigued.  “Well your brother’s been boasting about you.”  “Awh fuck, Hunter.” Riley whined then downed the last of her drink.  “Can I get you one?”  “Yeah, sure.” Riley shrugged. “So you know Hunter?”  “Trained with him.” Riley sat with Nick at the bar for 2 hours, when she stood up she swayed and reached out to steady herself, Nick gently put his arm around her waist and held her left arm, a smile broke across Riley’s face, Nick had been nothing but charming, she moved away from him but took hold of his hand and gently pulled him along with her. She stumbled around the Dauntless compound and found a empty unused room, she pulled Nick in with her and backed up against the wall, she hooked his belt loop and pulled closer, both eager to taste each other they instantly opened their mouths and tangled tongues. 

“Riley, Riley! Open this bloody door right now!” Lisa pounded on the twins’ apartment door. “Riley!” Riley fell out of bed and stumbled through her apartment to the door, as soon as she opened it her mother stormed in carrying her little brother on her hip. “Here, you take him, I’m busy.”  “What? I can’t just, I’ve got work.” Riley raised her voice but remained calm.  “And I don’t? It’s not my problem, or at least it shouldn’t be. Deal with it.” Lisa snapped back. “I’ve just been promoted, I can’t look after Finn today.” Riley pleaded. “Tough, I’ve got a life too Riley, one that you came along and ruined so don’t you dare tell me that this isn’t fair, this is your problem, sort it out.” Lisa dumped the diaper bag on the sofa and bolted out of the apartment before Riley could say another word.  “What the hell is going on?” Ryder called from his upstairs bedroom. Riley scooped up her little brother and cuddled him. “Finlay?” “Mom just dropped him off, said she was busy.” Riley put the little boy back onto his feet and urged him to go play. “What the fuck am I gonna do Ryder? I’ve got work.”  “Take him with you.” Ryder suggested.  “Yeah cause Murph would be sound with that.” Riley snorted. She had to come up with a plan fast, ugh why did she drink so much last night, her head pounded as much as her mom hit the door moments earlier. “I don’t think Murphy will be your problem, Eric is.” “Keep an eye on him just now, I need to get ready.” Riley dashed to her bedroom and threw off her oversized t-shirt, without caring she grabbed black skinny pants and a white vest top off her floor from the day before, something she never done unless she was drunk. Riley reentered her living room and found Ryder bouncing Finlay on his legs, the little boy giggled. Riley walked over to her brothers, she took Finlay into her arms and grabbed the diaper bag. “Where are you gonna take him?” Ryder asked. “I dunno yet.” Riley said honestly and shrugged her shoulders.  “Maybe you should speak to Murphy first.”  “Ryder, I’m not going to my XO because I have a baby to look after, I’ll deal with it, I’ll figure something out.” Riley half smiled at her brother and left the apartment. She wandered around the compound trying to think, there had to be someone who could help her out.  “You’re a nanny now?” A familiar and husky voice said behind her, she spun around and saw Eric with a smug smile spread across his face. “And here I thought you’d just been promoted to Alpha squad.”  “It’s one thing killing a man Eric, it’s another caring for a child.” “Just don’t let a child make you late.” Eric ordered. “I’m never late. “ Riley smirked back to her new team leader. Eric scowled and walked away. Riley adjusted little Finlay on her hip and carried on walking through Dauntless then it hit her.. Ashley. Riley turned on her heels and dashed to Hunter’s apartment, when she reached the door she wrapped on it and waited, Ashley opened the door in surprise. “Riley?” “Morning Ashley. I’m so sorry to do this but I was wondering if you could possibly babysit Finn for me.” “Yeah sure, I can do that.” Ashley smiled. “Hey Finlay, you gonna spend the day with me?” Finlay looked at his big sister with worry in his eyes. “It’s okay baby, I’ve gotta go to work, I’ll be back for you, until then you can play with Ashley all day.” Riley assured her brother. “Hey Finlay how about we go to the park? Would you like that?” Immediately Finlay opened up his arms towards Ashley, she took the toddler. Riley placed the diaper bag on the floor just inside the apartment. “Thanks Ash, I owe you.” “Not a problem, we’re practically family.” Ashley replied with a smile. Riley waved bye to her brother and looked at her watch, 5 minutes, she bolted along the corridors, finally she made it to the squad room with a minute to spare. “Told you.” Riley smirked at Eric as she sauntered in, Eric eyeballed her fiercely, took note of her perky breasts and rounded ass in her tight vest top and skinny pants, her blond wavy hair covered most of her back, dangling to almost her hips. “Morning guys.” Hunter welcomed the team. “So today’s task is a simple one; go over the documents we found.” The twins huffed in response. Sure paperwork wasn’t exciting but it’s part of the job, Riley picked up a pile of papers, sat down at the table and started reading everyone else didn’t seem to be so eager and took their time collecting a pile of their own. “Managed to get rid of the brat then” Eric said leaning over Riley’s right shoulder. “Ashley.” Riley replied. “It’ll be good practice for her.” “How come you had him anyway?” Hunter asked looking up from the papers in front of him. “Mom appeared this morning and dumped him on me.” “Why couldn’t she take him?” Hunter asked. “I don’t know, she didn’t stick around to talk. Just to give me a telling off then leave.” Riley sighed. “Good morning.” Murphy said entering the squad room, everyone stood immediately. “Carry on.” Murphy paused and looked around the room. “Where’s Lieutenant Nikki?” “Don’t know sir, she hasn’t showed.” Hunter informed their boss. “Well when she does, send her to my office.” “Yes sir.” Hunter complied. “Well, looks like Nikki’s in shit.” Hunter continued when Murphy left the room. “She’s so hot but she’s such a bitch.” Jack said to no one in particular. “I’d tap that.” Josh laughed. “Wait I already have.” “Snap.” Jack said and high fived his brother Josh.

“This is all just shit, nothing important.” Josh moaned. “Just because it’s not important to you doesn’t mean it’s not at all, it must mean something otherwise why would they have it.” Riley said not lifting her eyes off the paper she was holding. “Agreed, keep going.” Eric said, Josh sighed and continued reading. “Wait.” Jack said. “I think I might have found something but I’m not sure what it means.” “Spill Lieutenant.” Eric ordered. Jack raised to his feet and walked to the front of the room, he placed the sheet of paper on the projector and turned it on, Hunter switched off the lights and they all stared up at the wall. “What the fuck.” Riley said. There was her family’s names, dates of birth, height, weight, eye color and a whole lot more information. “I’m not 80 pounds, I’m bloody 90!” All the guys turned to face her. “What, it took me ages to gain those 10 pounds.” “Is all this information correct?” Eric asked looking at Hunter and Riley, the siblings nodded. “The names at the bottom, are they familiar?” “No, I don’t know anyone by those names.” Riley said. “Me neither.” Hunter confirmed. “Wait.” Riley said moving closer to the wall. “Desmond.” “You know him?” Eric asked. “Yes. Well no.” “Spit it out Lieutenant.” Eric said. “Desmond, that’s the name of the guy that tried to hijack the truck the other day.” “Hunter get down to the holding cells.” Eric ordered. “No, I met the guy, I’ll go.” Riley said exiting the room before anyone could stop her. Riley was on a mission, she marched to the cells, reaching the desk she pushed in front of a younger Dauntless member and tapped her finger to get the attention of the young guy behind the desk. “You’ve got a guy called Desmond in lock up, I need him, Eric’s orders.” “Ah, we don’t any more.” The guy shrugged. “What do you mean?” Riley asked forcefully. “He was released about 20 minutes ago.” Riley inhaled deeply, the guy retreated back a bit expecting her to scream at him. Riley stormed back to the squad room. “They’ve let him go, they fucking let him go, 20 minutes ago.” Riley complained loudly as she reentered the squad room. The team turned to face her. “Grab your gear.” Eric commanded, everyone grabbed their bags and followed Eric to the staircase, each soldier took the stairs two at a time, when they reached the garage Mikey greeted them with a big smile. “We need a vehicle.” Eric said assertively. “That one.” Mikey said shyly pointing to an armored truck. “Get in, let’s go.” Eric demanded. The team leaped into the truck, as usual Eric wanting – or maybe that should be needing – control, he drove, once in the truck Alpha squad loaded and readied their weapons, Jack stood up and popped out the top of the roof, Josh and Hunter leaned out the back windows and Riley stared ahead and to the left searching for the fractionless mess Desmond, surely he couldn’t have gone too far. Riley slipped a loaded handgun into her leg holster on her right thigh and a knife onto her left ankle, she sat with her rifle at the ready.

They drove around and searched for hours, there was no sign of Desmond at all. Eric turned the truck around and started heading back to the compound. “What are you doing?” Riley gasped. “We would have found him by now, my guess is he’s went underground again.” Eric replied. When they reached the garage Riley leaped out of the truck before Eric even put it into park. “Lee.” Hunter said jogging to her side. “Wait.” “No Hunter, I’ve got to find this guy. He knows something.” Riley demanded. “What do you mean? What does he know?” Hunter quizzed her. “Nothing, I don’t know.” Riley sighed, she started to walk away, Hunter lightly grabbed her arm and she spun around to face him. “Leave me alone Hunter.” He understood she needed some time alone, so he let her go. Riley went straight to the liquor store then to her secret rooftop paradise, she cracked open the booze and drank straight from the bottle, how could they just let Desmond go, especially when he attacked her and Ryder, why would anyone want their hands on the twins? It wasn’t as if they were special. Riley snorted to herself then she heard the door to the rooftop open, she spun around and saw Eric appearing out of the shadows. “Eric, what the fuck are you doing here?” Riley said brutally, annoyed that her secret place had been discovered and by Eric of all people, oh my god, had Hunter said something.. no, he wouldn’t. “Looking for you.” Eric replied smugly. “Why?” “I know a place underground to get info.” Eric smirked. Riley rose to her feet and slowly stepped towards Eric. “Do you wanna come or not?” Riley silently nodded then she followed Eric through the Dauntless compound. “Hey Lee.” Ryder said jogging beside her. “Ryder, I’ve gotta go.” “What do you mean? I need to talk to you.” Ryder pushed. “Can’t right now Ryder, I’m working.” “5 minutes.” He begged his twin. “She’s busy.” Eric imposed. Ryder huffed, took one last look at his sister then left. Riley and Eric once again ended up in the garage, Riley followed Eric through the messy and loud garage with terrible lighting, Eric finally stopped at a black Shelby Mustang with white stripes, Riley stopped and stared. “Don’t just stare, get in.” Riley did as she was told, the inside was incredibly luxurious, black leather seats, flashy dash, Riley liked it. “She’s a beauty huh?” Eric said. “Mmhmm.” Riley mumbled clipping in her seatbelt, when Eric started the muscle car it roared to life, it’s all that Riley could hear, Eric pressed on the accelerator gently, he maneuvered out of the busy garage and once they were clear of bodies and objects Eric pressed further on the pedal, the Mustang launched forward pushing Riley into her seat, her stomach clenched as adrenaline burst through her body. Eric sped along the deserted mud road, the only light coming from the headlights of the Mustang, he kept quiet, Riley liked that, she wasn’t being forced to talk or asked a million questions, something she was used to with her Ryder, they were twins but sometimes Riley felt they were too attached, she was growing up and Ryder, well, he clung to her side like glue, Riley needed space, her brothers were amazing but she was the only girl and they smothered her, did they forget she was Dauntless too and she was tough just like them, she wasn’t a Barbie girl needing bailed out by family, hell she was on Alpha team with Hunter and yet she still gets treated like a baby or worse, a girl, maybe life would have been better if she was a boy, Riley sniggered to herself, ha, yes if she was a boy, so much would be different, for one her mother probably wouldn’t hate her. “What’s funny?” Eric finally spoke, he turned to face Riley. “Uh.” Riley froze, she forgot she was not alone, Eric was so quiet it was like being alone, Riley couldn’t break eye contact with Eric as he continued to drive and not look at the road. “Go on Lieutenant.” Eric pushed, still not looking at the road. Riley decided she better say something so that he’d look where he was going. “My brothers treating me like a kid.” She finally replied. “You mean a girl?” Eric said turning his gaze back to the windshield. How the fuck? Did he just read my mind? It once again become extremely quiet in the car besides the sound of the humming engine.

Ryder stormed to Hunter’s house and barged in without knocking. “Hey what the fuck Ryder.” Hunter complained leaping off the sofa. Ryder slammed the door behind him and paced in the living room. “What’s going on?” “Lee.” Ryder huffed. “She wouldn’t speak to me, she just left.” “What do you mean Ryder?” Hunter pressed. “She left with Eric, I tried speaking to her but she just said she was busy and walked away.” “Where?” Hunter rose to his feet. Ryder raised his eyebrow, curious to his brothers reaction at Eric’s name. “Ryder, where were they?” “In the garage.” Hunter went to the kitchen immediately and retrieved his cell, he went to Riley’s name and pressed call, the cell rang out, he tried Eric but the same thing happened. “I’ve gotta go for bit, I won’t be long.” Hunter said before grabbing his jacket and kissing Ashley on the forehead. “Hunter, where are you going? It’s late.” Ashley complained. “I promise I won’t be long, I love you.” Hunter reassured her. Hunter left his apartment with Ryder, they went straight to the garage. “Okay now I think it’s time you tell me what’s going on?” Ryder asked. “Nothing.” “Ha, don’t do that with me. There’s obviously something, comon share.” Ryder begged. “Eric’s my best mate but he’s not someone I want my sister sleeping with.” “What?” Ryder burst out laughing. “She’s not sleeping with him.” “Every girl that goes in his car gets fucked, trust me, I know.” Hunter dashed around the garage, he found Mikey still working and approached him. “Mikey, where did Eric go?” “I dunno.” Mikey said standing. “He left with Riley, they were in a bit of a rush.” “You call me as soon as they get back okay?” Hunter ordered, Mikey nodded his head. “Ryder, go home.” “What about Riley?” “I’ll speak to her in the morning.” Hunter patted his younger brother on the shoulder and walked back home to his pregnant – and probably pissed off – girlfriend. Ryder walked alone to his shared apartment with his missing sister, he walked in to darkness and silence.