#willgrahamxanon

[horrorcult-renaissance]

Nothing Is Beyond the Pale in Darkness

(A wee Will Grahm moment. I mostly write these for myself and barely ever post them. This is just a quick first draft I really liked. Nothing triggering as far as I know. Just Will Graham and an old friend having a coffee. A little flirting near the end. Maybe I’ll continue it when I know what happens next.)

The friends agreed to meet at a little cafe they both knew in Manassas. The man had chosen Bon Temps for its rustic bayou theme. It was neither as kitschy nor as pretentious as other coffee shops near his place of work. The lighting was low and warm, the voices of its few patrons were hushed, and they stayed open until after dusk. He entered the cafe and scanned the room for his friend, who was sitting at a little table between a vintage privacy screen and a dried-out-looking ficus that on closer inspection was plastic and quite dusty. The last of the day's golden hour sunlight hit her face from over the screen, streaming in and filling it with warm light. She was still wearing her distinctive soft masculine dark academic sort of outfit that she often wore to work. The man walked over slowly, a small smile playing on his lips. His face looked tired with its five-o-clock shadow, but that did nothing to mar his delicate but handsome features. When she looked up and noticed him approaching the table, her eyes lit up with recognition. She waved slightly. He was the first to speak this time.

"Well, hello there. It's been quite a while since our last exchange. How have you been holding up?" Will Graham said, settling into the booth opposite her. She sighed and shrugged. 

"Well it's 6 pm and I haven't eaten a damn thing today but I'm ok with that." She glanced briefly at his eyes and then looked back down at the table. Will caught that she was avoiding eye contact with him and tilted his head to look at her, his eyes narrowing. Then he leaned back in his seat and looked at her head on. "A human body requires sustenance to keep functioning properly. You'll have to nourish yourself at some point, you know."

She looked up at him again, but even then, her gaze seemed to rest at the top of his left ear, not at his eyes. "Yeah, there's just not much in my house for groceries right now. I've been craving Chinese food so I'm holding out for my paycheck to come in and then I'm gonna order some."

He nodded, looking down at her arms folded in front of her on the table and then back at her face. 

"Don't hold out for too long. Your body needs fuel. Skipping too many meals is hardly a healthy habit."

"Don't worry, I won't." She paused and fiddled with the place settings. Will noticed but kept his gaze steady. He knew from her body language that something was on her mind. Finally, with faux absentmindedness she made her move."Do you remember the conversation we had last time we got Chinese food?" 

Will smiled coyly. He did, in fact, remember slightly. That was a night he had more than his usual share of whiskeys. It has been shortly after his release from a mental ward and his mood had been... intense.  He called her on the off chance she could pick him up and she drove him home that night. He vaguely remembered the slight innuendo he had uncharacteristically thrown her way to see if she'd bite. She mostly looked terrified. He had kind of liked it. "Yeah, I remember. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, I was just curious I guess. I was wondering if you remember what else was transpiring during that evening." She had twisted the paper wrapper of her straw from her ice water up into a tight twist and slid it to the edge of the table. Will couldn't remember exactly where that evening fell among the many notable evenings during that time in his life. "I remember that we talked about our favorite type of Chinese food and some of the other restaurants we each wanted to try. Why? Is something wrong?" His eyebrows raised as he leaned slightly towards her, gazing out from beneath them. She took a nervous sip of her water. "No. Nothing is wrong. I was just curious." She finally made eye contact with him. Though the air in the cafe was quite warm for the crisp autumn evening, she seemed to shiver slightly. Will leaned back again, looking her over. "Well, now I'm curious about your curiosity. Is my presence during that time in your thoughts lately?" A waitress set their drinks on the table, interrupting the tension. A chai breve' with a sprinkle of cinnamon for her, and for Will, just a plain strong black coffee. They both politely thanked the server before she loped back towards the counter.

"More than you know." Her shivering seemed to ebb and her shoulder took a bolder shape. Will looked bemused.

"Now that is intriguing, what do you mean by that?" He said. She sighed, "When I find myself in a darker headspace, my thoughts often drift toward the experiences we've shared." She looked down and shook her head slightly,  "I start contemplating you, and you tend to occupy a significant presence in my internal dialogue during those moments." She looked back up at him. Will looked slightly ashamed.

"So you find yourself ruminating on me when you're caught in the depths of a dark headspace... And does that notion elicit fear within you?" He swallowed hard.  "Or does the thought of me in those places offer some semblance of solace?" She looked at him and looked down, searching her mind for an honest answer. "I'm not sure. I’m unsure if its a bit of both. Or if it's that I scare me and you comfort me." She looked at him a little sadly. He continued his line of questioning,  "Do you associate me with... bad feelings? Bad times?" He was nervous about what her answer would be, but she smiled.

"Definitely not bad times. Not a bad feeling either. It's more like... being alone with dark feelings." She had ceased her avoiding of his eyes. He began to smile back again. "So you're saying you think about me when you're lonely?" At that she chuckled a bit, tossing her hair out of her eyes.

"I mean, yeah that's true. But I don't think that's all there is to it. I think it has more to do with... I look to you because i know some of what you've been through, what you still probably go through. I think of you when I'm feeling unstable with my own identity because I know you've had those issues. " Will flinched a little at her reference to his troubled days, but decided to steer the boat to warmer waters. "I see,” he chuckled “So I'm like a... comfort thing?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She shrugged. He leaned in closer,  "Does that mean I'm your security blanket?" At that she cocked her head with a bit of surprise, her eyebrows coming together briefly before she leaned in to match him. "Why? Wanna cuddle?" They both laughed and Will sat back and rubbed his chin with his palm and thumb. Then he looked back at her. "Look... don't take this the wrong way... but if you asked me to cuddle, I'd probably do it."

"Is that so?"

"Well.. yeah. Why not? I haven't had anyone close to me in a long time. I do miss those things." He pursed his lips and then licked them, picking up his coffee and taking a sip. It was his turn to avoid eye contact.

"Been a while?" She asked, following his eyes off into the distance.

"Yeah." He sighed, "It really has."

"I could see that. I never really thought about your love life. You've always been a pretty solitary type of guy in general. Well, except for the dogs." He nodded and looked back at her. "I'm used to being alone. But that doesn't mean loneliness doesn't affect me. I haven't felt held in...," he shook his head and sighed, "forever." He was still gazing off to someplace in his head. She rubbed the back of her arms and, not believing she dared it, she said, "I mean, we can have a cuddle sometime, if you want. You're my friend. I trust you." He looked back at her slowly. "Is that so?"

"Why wouldn't I? Do you bite?" She shrugged, watching him intently.

"Me?" He said with a wide smile, "Nooooo."