#wip:ftmtb

[blood-teeth]

howdy!

i know it's march 8th already (i'm sick, i'm ill, i'm disturbed) and maybe some of you are wondering where the hell FTMTB is which i get! please understand that it's my midterms right now and i'm also trying to work on a secret project that should have been done at the end of last month and, like, wasn't.

anyway!! i'm working hard on it but I wanted to share a snippet with you!! please feel free to send any questions my way if you have them <3

"It had been dark, overwhelmingly so, when you decided you couldn’t take any more of the rancorous silence from four hundred and ninety-nine ghosts sleeping above you in beds that have never been unmade and carpets that have never been stepped on. Each hollow crack of the building settling into the forever-shifting sand proved to shock your blood to cancerous ice. You had rendered yourself insane by imagining the voices of old childhood recruits whispering next to your bed as they stood over you in sleep. Did they sneer at you? Did their teeth flash bright and loud in the darkness where you could not see? How envious are they of the breath that fills your lungs? One night — so sure that you would have bet Acheilus —  you heard a low moan whimper your name, a phantom that glitched in and out of your periphery. You wasted no time packing a few pairs of stiffened denim jeans left over from Pre-End, your standard issue maroon-hued bomber jacket — laden with thick patches — three uniforms, a busted journal, and stole away to Corridor E of Alpha’s spiderwebbed dome. 

In some small part of your brain, you admit to only yourself that you're being ridiculous — weak — those were your dead brothers and sisters you had slept amongst and you should be fervent to honor their memory with your presence and duty. Every step you take is five hundred steps. Every breath you take is five hundred exhales of your brothers and sisters. Every kill is five hundred for the Red Remembrance’s safety and prosperity. 

But, in the tight confines of your darkened, warmed closet, the breaths that fan across your lips feel like your own. Here, your heartbeat does not signify four hundred and ninety-nine agonized and memorialized souls, it’s just your soft pump of tissue and blood. Yours alone."

[ftmtbpod]

snippets

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@houndmouthed @fearofahumanplanet

[ftmtbpod]

snippet

taglist: let me know if you want to be added!

@houndmouthed @fearofahumanplanet

[ftmtbpod]

i'm starting a writing accountability thread for myself 8/12/22 from this mouth that bleeds stats: word count: 10,036/90k first draft goal: sept 30th, 2022

8/24/22

word count: 12,610/90k