#with his car and he was wearing nice clothes so i felt sooo bad dude 😭 i feel horrible

[palesoftangel]

Goddddd iiiii lloovveeee himmmm my heart is dancing ommmgggg I'm smiling so hard my cheeks hurt 🤭🤭🤭💗💗💗💗💗 i love him so much I'm so happy

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #296

“reality’s a plague; we’re the medication”

How are you doing in this time of COVID19? Do you personally know anyone who is not taking COVID19 seriously? Tired of it. Don’t see an end to it. I know a bunch of dumbasses who don’t take it seriously at all. What do you think of TikTok? Have you jumped on it yet? Why or why not? I don’t have an opinion on it. What hobby or interest of your significant other do you have ZERO interest in? What about something you actually think might be fun or something you actually picked up thanks to them? If you don’t have an SO, you can think of a relative or friend as an example instead. No s/o, sooo I’ll use best friend instead. Tbh I can’t say I have ZERO interest in anything she likes… If it makes her happy, I’m thankful for it. To answer the second half, she definitely got me into Wings of Fire. Have you ever felt affected by the death of a celebrity or public figure? If so, who? Do you remember when you found out and what was your reaction to it? Steve Irwin comes to mind very quickly. I remember exactly who told me and where I was. I was heartbroken. He was my childhood hero. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, bitch? I’ve been called a bitch. I remember one occasion as a kid where I was called fat for breaking a swing, even though I was a normal size. The swing was just old. It affected me though, for sure. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Ever slow danced with anyone? Yes. Who is the last person to send you a message on Facebook? The woman I took pictures for a few weeks back. She’s a sweetheart. Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. Ever been called babe/baby? Yeah. Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? No one’s ever smoked anything else in my presence. Does anything on your body hurt? My knees. They pretty much always do. Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? My uncle Rob. Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Sara. Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? I feel like all of them that are “likely” literally are pregnant right now lmao. My Facebook is like a new pregnancy announcement once a week, it seems like. Have you ever been called prince/princess? Ew, no. Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? No. Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? Nooo, I have no interest in being “that person.” What would you call your body type? Let’s not think about this. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yeah. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don’t think I could. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? I don’t believe so. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My parents fought all the time. Separated when I was… 17, I wanna say? Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? Ha. Attempts, anyway. Both were animal-related, and I was so excited to become a regular helper, but my weak-ass body couldn’t handle either. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? I never actually thought of it this way, but yes. Flirting like that was absolutely cheating. Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: Stuck. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? I always have guilt nowadays. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Hm. I think a about a month back when I took family pictures for someone. The kids’ dad was pretty cute. Are you okay with the life you live? Nope. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? Fuuuuck dude, I want a lot. Many more in my ears, dermals in my collarbones (the #1, ahhh, but I want to lose weight first so you can see the contrast), it’d be nice to have a nose ring that fucking stayed in, I would LOVE an undereye microdermal if I ever change to contacts again, sometimes I think about an eyebrow piercing if I kept my eyebrows thinner… man, there’s a lot. I just love body mod. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO. Is your present hair color natural? Sadly yes. Do you follow a certain religion? No. Do you listen to any country music? Noooo. It’s so weird remembering that I loved it as a kid. Have you ever lived on a farm? No. Do both of your parents have jobs? Dad does, but Mom is currently on disability due to recovering from cancer. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? Ummm. I dunno. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Is there anyone you’re not over and feel like you never will be? I doubt I’ll ever be fully over him. But I feel it’s understandable. When’s the last time you were really late to something? Hm. Dunno. Do you sing a lot? I sing veeery rarely. Do you think you have an addictive personality? I have a very addictive personality, yes. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon, easily. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I don’t know. When was the last time someone took your picture? *shrugs* Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I eat them with ketchup and mustard, not chili. Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? I’m unsure… but I lean towards no. Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Hell yeah. I’m so for platonic “I love you”s. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? I'm not sure about "worst," honestly. I've mostly just heard mild inconvenience type things. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Actually, yes, by maybe my second psychiatrist. She was fucking looney; I could see ADD, but ADHD was ludicrous. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? I cut off connections with my dad for years after the divorce. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? Yeesh, no. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None. Are you a happy person? Not really. Have you cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. Have you been in trouble with the law/jail time? No. At what age did you become sexually active? Maybe like, 16 1/2? Have you been in a loving relationship? Yes. Have you been in an abusive/bad relationship? No. Who would you die for? Quite a large handful of people, really. Have you ever been in a gang? Nooooo thanks. Who do you dream about most? Annoyingly, Jason. When are you happiest? When I'm hyperfixated on a new interest. Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides "hello?" Not unless it's family, really. Then I'll just be like "hey" or "what's up?", something along those lines. Do you get mad easily? No. What is your favorite song right now? I'm pretty hooked on "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you wear both, which do you prefer, and why? I wear glasses. I've worn contacts before, they're just too tedious for me. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Cremated, please. Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? No. Goriest movie you've ever seen? Probably some SAW film. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? No. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? No, anything with raisins is disgusting. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? "It depends on the situation." <<<< This. Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I certainly still loved Jason when he was with his girlfriend after me. Is your hair all the same color? Yeah, pretty much. When it was longer, I had natural highlights, but now that it's so short, ig it's hard for them to exist. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? I have desperately wanted a leather jacket since middle school. They're just expensive, at least the ones I like. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? Ha, no. I'm not gonna clean without reason. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. What TV shows do you keep up with? None. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? Absolutely a greyhound, if I wanted a dog and had room for one of those. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Most definitely not. I'm not even comfortable asking for things at my age. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have jumped fences, as a kid. Do you like the movie Zootopia? I do. Do you ever go on Pinterest? Rarely. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A sea salt dark chocolate w/ caramel filling Ghiradelli square from Christmas. Can you speak any unusual languages? No. Did you do gymnastics in elementary school? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah; I was in dance classes for a long time, so we had recitals and went to competitions. I never did a solo, though. I was going to my senior year (senior solos are typical), but I got too nervous to continue with it. It was to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. Do you like BBQ sauce? Ugh, I hate it. Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? Right now. I always wear men's pj pants. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? When I was little, I know my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wandered into our yard for a while. We eventually let it go. Then when I would go fishing with Dad, one of my absolute favorite things to do was try to catch the minnows and tadpoles in my hands, and so I had a fishbowl of those. Don't keep wild animals, please. Do you set good examples for little kids? Probably not. Does your house have a pool? No, but I REALLY want one. It would be so helpful in strengthening my legs without sweating my ass off and feeling like I'm going to collapse. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I've actually had very short (I mean like, a second), sudden spasms when lying down that feel like what I assume a seizure to feel like. I think it's a side effect of my nightmare medication. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? Not long at all. Just a few days. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Maybe? What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Making dark/dangerous jokes. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? In middle school. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? My fat ass ain't getting in the top bunk. Are you close with your cousins? None, really. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also not really, but one of my mom's brothers is closest to that. Are you close to your grandparents? They're all dead, but I wasn't very close to any. I never really see my extended family. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Go swimming, if they had a pool. If they didn't or it just wasn't up, I liked playing two-player video games. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Probably go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert with family and just chill at home for most of the day. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Peanut butter fudge, like holy shit. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? What I have now. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? DYED. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Have you ever won a contest? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Five. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? N/A What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? Oh man, what a question. Music can affect me very deeply, so honestly there's probably a number that fit this criteria if I thought for long enough, but I'm not gonna spend ten minutes trying to pick the best one. "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White will do, I guess because that was probably the most recent. I don't let myself listen to it, even though I love it. It'll only drag me into a trauma pit. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? Totally the sarcastic and usually well-composed villain. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? I don't use it. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? Silent Hill 2, Shadow of the Colossus, and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? I dunno; I'm pretty good at listening to those. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? It's fucking embarrassing that I went through this many-years-long "I have animal powers given to me by a wolf I made up!!!" thing, holy god. Like, I thought I could "activate" traits of certain animals. Kids are fuckin wild, but I was exceptionally so. What is the biggest conflict in your life right now? With myself. Through a lot of digging with my therapist, she got me to realize that I don't feel that I'm rightfully lovable because I'm not "successful" and "going nowhere." It hit like a ton of fucking bricks when I understood the "why" of feeling like that. Like don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person that is worthy of being hated, but totally deserving of pure love, no. So my therapist has me tell myself "I am lovable" in the mirror every morning, and I don't believe it. I'm trying to, but every time I'm just like "lol but are you really?" If you could change your current life schedule to incorporate more or less time for certain things, how would you do so? Do you feel like you have a well-structured and well-balanced schedule at the moment? My schedule is embarrassing, truly. I wake up, get on the computer, go to bed, and that's just about it, taking care of bodily needs being sprinkled in there throughout. I want to change it so, so badly, but I'm just... so set in my ways. I want to incorporate at least 30 minutes of daily reading, and I've yet to start my Wii Fit exercising because I'm waiting for Mom to move into her room (she stays and sleeps in the living room rn) because I do NOT like exercising in front of ANYBODY. I don't care if she gave birth to me. I also want to spend less time just hopping between websites on the laptop just because I can't find anything to do. It'd be nice to draw more, too... but for that, I really need to like the idea of what I'm drawing to stay even slightly motivated. There's probably more to this, but yeah, that's enough. What filler words do you find yourself using most often ("um," "you know," etc.)? "Um" or "uh," probably. I fumble over my words so much as well as just total derail on what I'm talking about that filler words are very, very common for me. When was the last time you felt let down? What were your expectations about the given situation that weren't met? Ugh, so apparently when my laptop was fixed, a lot of things were reset, and that included Lightroom, my primary photography editing software. I lost all my presets and I initially thought pictures too, but thank Christ I had a backup dialogue. I'm still pretty annoyed, because I can't find my favorite free LR download site. I didn't at all expect my laptop to be affected as heavily as it was, just getting a new DC port... If you enjoy taking and editing photos, how would you describe your editing style? This greatly depends on the subject matter and composition, but I feel a common theme is I enjoy vibrance. I war with myself a lot if I make them too saturated, but idk. Have you ever been inspired by a celebrity to change something about your appearance (your clothing style, hairstyle, etc.)? Is much of your taste/style inspired by celebrities? If not, what else serves as an inspiration for you? Ha! Guys, I'm not going to bullshit you, when I got into GMM, I loved Link's big, "nerdy" glasses so much that I became very curious as to how they'd look on me. Years later, I still kept the style and think they've looked best on me of all my glasses. I love them. For the second question, no, not really. My personal aesthetics dictate my style selections. When was the last time you felt a friendship was petering out? If a friendship seems to be fizzling, do you go out of your way to try to "save it," or do you accept that it may have just reached its natural conclusion? Ugh. This has happened in so very many of my friendships that I don't even like thinking about it. If we're talking the most recent time, I suppose with Alex. She just started talking to me less and less before vanishing (to clarify, she's an online friend). Considering just how poorly I handle loss, I'm the type to always try to save friendships I still cherish. Who is your favorite contemporary writer, author, poet, thinker? I don't know. What are your thoughts on body positivity vs. body neutrality? I believe in seeing your body and loving it for all it does, considering it's a masterpiece of biology, but, I also feel it is vital to consider its health. In other words, no, I do not think morbidly obese or emaciated individuals should think their body is... I can't think of the right word, really. "Ideal," I suppose? And keep in mind: this is coming from an obese person. I don't want someone to tell me "your body is perfectly fine!" or "you should just accept you the way you are!" when I spend almost every minute of every day thinking to some degree about how much I hate my fucking weight. No, I don't want to be convinced I should settle and neglect the wellbeing of the one body I have, but I in no way support bashing or being rude to people who are unhealthy, either. I feel like my stance on this is kinda hard to explain. Just respect your body as well as others' and their efforts to treat it the best they can. Do you enjoy keeping secrets from people, like having something about yourself that no one else knows? I mean, I don't enjoy it... I'd prefer to have none. If you play video games, what do you usually like to play? If you don't play video games, do you like watching others play? If so, what? I really like horror games, more than any. Fantasy ones with dragons and gods and the like are awesome, too. I don't enjoy a lot of games that are pretty much just movies with player decisions that barely affect the ending (I do like watching these, though), nor do sportsy or action things normally do it for me. It's by serious luck that I'm an avid World of Warcraft player, because I don't tend to like very grindy games, but I suppose WoW is an exception with the absolutely endless options of what you can do. Onto the second part of the question: totally. I wouldn't watch let's plays if I didn't, and I grew up loving to watch my dad and brother play. I'll watch an even wider variety of games than I play, but it more so depends on who the person is versus what they're playing, because whom I watch is controlled by whether or not/how much I enjoy the individual themselves. What are three things you like about nature? Just three? Damn... Well, the easiest I suppose can be summed up in a quote: "As above, so below." All is tied together. I could go on a romantic monologue about the beauty of our connection to the infinite stars we look upon and the ground we stand on, but I'll spare ya that poem. I love, love, love the sounds of nature: birds chirping, zephyrs through the trees, the crunching of fall leaves. All of it. Then, there's the power of nature! I live for those pictures of nature just taking the Earth back: desolate homes eaten by vines, all that. To call nature merely "spectacular" is truly an act of disrespect, pretty much. What do teenagers have right now that you wish you had when you were their age? Hm. I guess better phones.

[amnachil]

To the Perfection Chapter 3 Part 2

We continue :) A long Thomas’s part again.

Thomas Monday April 22

The teenager woke up in a bed which wasn't his. Surprised, he stood up and looked around. He quickly recognised Joël's room. This one hadn't changed it much since their childhood. The walls were painted in flashy blue. Here and there, clothes and dvd lay around. He had an old tv and a computer for himself. Surprisingly, he hadn't any poster of female celebreties. The ginger went in the corridor. Nobody there. He checked the hour : 2 pm. No wonder he was starving. His thoughts went to Dan, who was probably alone at home. He went to the stairs but suddenly, he heard Joël ask behind him :

"Watcha doin' bro ?"

He turned towards his friend. He was wearing a sport tee-shirt and baggy pants. He held in one hand a bag from the local fastfood, in the other a plate of creamy spinach.

"This is lunch." he precised when he noticed Thomas was staring. "Thought you would be hungry."

"I am." admitted the other. "But I need to go. I can't let Dan on his own."

"Yeah, because staying with him went totally fine for both of you until now."

And a blank. Are you trying to hurt me now ? Is this my punishment for everything I have done ? Being taunted by the most idiotic of my friends alias Joël ?

"After what happened last night, I think we can say you're not emotionally AND mentally ready to be with him only the two of you." continued his friend. "So don't be a moron and come eat with me."

Go fuck yourself prick. Thomas said nothing. He only followed Joël to the dining room. He sat in front of him reluctantly and looked at the spinach.

"What ? You hate burgers right ? I know that duh."

The ginger shurgged and started to eat. He was frankly surprised but his priority was Dan. And Raphaël. I need to make sure my brother is okay.

"Sooo... What are we planning next ?"

"What do you mean dumbass ? There is no we. I have this under control."

"Yeah clearly. You forced Ilhan to have sex with you in order to appease your desire right ? You made Cody's life a true hell. Oh and you broke your brother's heart aswell as your crush's one. Not to mention you almost took advantage of the man's drunk state to have SEX with him. Yeah, definitely you got this man."

Again, a blank. Thomas closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"You're right." he said miserably. "I need help."

"Heck yes you need help." confirmed Joël. "But what's the plan ? Are you gonna continue your thing with Ilhan ? Talk to Dan ? To Raphaël ? What do YOU want from them exactly ?"

"I thought what I want was pretty clear and caused this mess in the first place ? Isn't what you said idiot ?"

His friend facepalmed.

"No. I said the way you DEALT with your desires led to this." he explained. "But the problem in the first place is that you don't even know what you want precisely. And apparently, you don't separate what you CAN have from what you CANNOT have."

"Are you a shrink or something ?"

"I'm fucking trying to help here ! Stop being so overdramatic and just give some thought to the damn question brat !"

It took more time than he expected. Originally, he thought it was very simple : he wanted Dan. He started by this.

"I want Dan to love me." he said. "I love him and I want it to be mutual. He's sweet, caring and always nice... A bit naive but I like this too. And man, when he ate ! Damn yes, I want him..."

He paused the time to realise he had destroyed all this things in Dan lately.

"But I can't force him." he whispered. "And I regret I have hurt my brother. I mean sure, if I'm gonna ever date Dan, he'll be sad, but I would prefer it to go smoothly... Oh fuck it's too late for this. What I've done ?"

"We already established what you did." pointed out Joël. "What is in the past can't be changed. Just go ahead."

Thomas nodded.

"So I want to apologise to Raphaël for calling him a monster. I'm not sure I'm ready to tell him the truth but I need to at least take responsability for my mistake. Oh and I thought about what you said. I realised I wanted so badly to be as perfect as him... I think I still want that. I look up to him more than I hate him I guess, but it drives me crazy sometimes."

His friend cleaned their plates in silent. He served two orange juice and sat back.

"You know my bro is way older than me so I can't relate exactly, but I think it's pretty normal to feel this kind of things towards them dude." he stated. "Your problem is how special Raphaël is. The man is not normal I tell you. Pretty sure he got abducted by aliens before ! So you can't compete eh."

At least, the bad joke made Thomas laugh.

"Joël you're very stupid."

"I know."

"I owe you a lot."

"I know that too."

It was late afternoon when Joël agreed to go visit Dan. They went together, since Thomas couldn't be trusted. Which, I admit, is true. His crush was obviously home. He appeared drunk again and out of his logical mind. He was mumbling about Raphaël. It saddened the ginger, but not because of his jealousy. I realise how much I hurt him now. It's my fault if he's suffering like that. They managed to put him to bed with a bit of struggle and then came back downstair. Joël turned on the TV while the teenager sent a text to Shirley.

< Thomas : Dan's asleep but not better. You can come over tomorow if you want. >

She quickly replied yes.

"Dude ! Raphaël's on tv." hailed him his friend.

He went in the living room to watch it. What he saw scared him to the bone. His brother had always looked frightening. Mostly cold. But there was something in his eyes which was even scarier. Even through the screen, he emitted so much sadness and distress. He looked empty, like a doll.

"Our team will be at L.A starting tomorow and until this weekend." he said.

His tone. Oh god his tone. It was emotionless, dead.

"L.A is not that far. You should tell Dan and help him go there." declared Joël.

"What ? No !"

He defied his friend's gaze for a while.

"I don't want them to go back together." he confessed finally. "I know it's selfish but... I have a chance now ! I won't have another if they make up."

"You don't know that." countered Joël. "And you have of chance of what ? Do you fell in love with the fat drunk dude I just put to bed or with the real Dan ? Because I'm pretty sure the real Dan won't come back without a proper talk with Raphaël beforehand."

Thomas grunted.

"Look, we don't know for sure if they'll be a couple again. Besides, it's not the point. You hurt Raphaël and Dan and they don't deserve it dude. Now you have the opportunity to try making things better or you can follow your selfish desire. Just think about what Dan wants."

"Okay." he finally conceded. "I'll tell him."

Cody Thursday April 25

This week was the weirdest he had ever lived. He went from discovery to discrovery. First of all, the story between Ilhan and Thomas was fake, as the first had revealed. But it didn't prevent the ginger to come again yesterday night and to sleep with his unwitting fuck buddy. Which led Cody to one of the biggest new of the day.

"He told me he was with Joël all this time." told Ilhan. "Do you think... he's cheating on me ? Arf, I shouldn't say it like that since we ain't a real thing."

Thomas... with Joël. That was something he wouldn't have even imagined one week ago. But now, he was seing things differently. So his crush was getting tired of having only one fuck buddy and went for another ? Well, it led Cody to the second biggest new of the day.

"Do you think he'll fatten him up too ?"

"Wait. What ?"

Ilhan swallowed the chocolate bar he was eating.

"You thought I became like this on my own ?" he asked while making his belly jiggle. "Man ! He's way too much into feeding !"

Now I'm lost. He looked to their friend. Thomas was chatting discreetly with Joël near to the classroom. He was so cute. What about me ? Do I fit his taste ? Cody glanced at Ilhan. They were about the same height, but there was a at least 30 kg (66 pounds) difference between them. He's fat and I'm underweight. Damn, how come I never linked his gaining with Thomas ? Now the real question : Was Cody ready to grow into someone similar to Ilhan ?

Dan Saturday April 27

They arrived in L.A in the evening. The college student gulped. He was in the same city than Raphaël. He get out of the car and looked at the colossal hotel facing them. He mentally repeated the things he wanted to say.

"Are you ready ?" asked Thomas.

He seemed to talk more to himself than to Dan.

"Yeah." replied this one anyway.

They had to do it. I need him in my life. I'm just a complete stupid. This week had been the worst. When he had done his coming out, when Shirley had insulted him back in highschool for being gay... All these bad memories were nothing in comparison. I've been so horrible with him. So unfair. Thomas talked to the reception and showed his ID. The lady gave them Raphaël's room number. They took the elevator in deep silent. It was like a dream. Dan was afraid. Afraid because he didn't know how to behave. Afraid because for the first time in in life, Raphaël wouldn't be happy to see them. But I have to talk to him. They were at his floor. In front of his door. His friend inhaled.

"There is no going back now." he said.

And he knocked. Dan's ex-boyfriend opened three seconds later. He was wearing white pants with a blue shirt. His hair were disheveled. But Dan noticed almost instantly his eyes. They were empty. They had no life in them.

"Hi big brother." whispered Thomas.

His voice was trembling. The college student stood straight, incapable of speaking. I need to say I'm sorry. Just say it. Raphaël slowly turned his head towards his little brother.

"Hi." he said.

The two visitors shivered. His voice sounded completely dead. There wasn't a word strong enough to tell how deprived of warmth it was. The eldest ginger then looked at Dan. This one felt tears on his cheek. He was shaking.

"Do you have something to say ?" asked Raphaël without any emotion.

"I... I... Oh my god."

He couldn't say it.

"He's sorry." intervened Thomas. "No, we're sorry. Darren told us the truth and we're very sorry. Please, believe me."

Thomas, don't you see it ? This thing we have created ?

"Okay." replied Raphaël. "Is there anything else I can do for you ?"

His answer caught Thomas out. Dan sobbed. His boyfriend was gone. Completely gone. He had destroyed the last part of his humanity.

"You don't look well." said this doll of Raphaël. "You should go to rest. Thomas, make sure your friend goes back home safe."

Friend. The word hurt, but not more than the meaningless tone of the person who used it. The ginger closed the door slowly. God what did I do ? Please, tell me there is a way to help him. To bring him back ! He felt Thomas drag him to the elevator. But Dan didn't noticed he was crying too.

To be continued

We’re not having fun moments in this story I know.

But Thomas has to deal with the consequences. Dan’s too. 

For Raphael’s state, it’s pretty simple: he decided to not feel anything anymore, to avoid further disillusion.

Thanks god Joel is here.