#words cannot describe the mindfuck i experienced when i realized the british royal family don't have fuckin last names

[bbygirl-aemond]

Why do we refer to Alicent as a Hightower? Once she's married, didn't she become a Targaryen? Shouldn't she be called Alicent Targaryen ?

Okay so this is the consequence of the fact that none of the nobility or royalty in Westeros have actual last names the way that we understand them. Colloquially, nobles and royalty are often referred to as [first name] + [House name] (Alicent Hightower, Rhaenyra Targaryen, etc.) which makes it seem like the House names are last names. But they’re not actually, they’re titles. Kind of like how none of the British royal family have last names, just first names. And titles behave a bit differently from legal last names. Married women have equal claim to the House they were born into and the House they married into, and so can refer to themselves as either or. And they certainly don't seem to HAVE to give up their maiden name, no matter who they marry.

It’s entirely possible for people to claim multiple Houses in formal occasions. For example, Tommen Baratheon is referred to as “Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister” during his coronation. But colloquially people only use one at a time. Married women usually have a preference for one or the other. There are examples galore of both options here. Olenna Tyrell and Lisa Arryn always go by their married names; Sansa Stark, Rhaenys Targaryen, and Cersei Lannister all go by their maiden names. Some women might use the two interchangeably, depending on their circumstances: Catelyn might refer to herself as Catelyn Tully while in the Riverlands, but Catelyn Stark while in the North.

Whether the married or maiden name is used comes down to a variety of factors, such as the statuses of the two Houses, the women’s sentiments towards the two Houses, and how deeply the women assimilate into the culture/family of their married House. When a woman is colloquially referred to by her maiden name, it is usually meant to reflect that she is perceived as rejecting the family she married into in favor of her original family. Alicent holds more closely to things associated with the Hightowers, such as the Faith of the Seven, and is largely derided by Team Black for being an “outsider” within House Targaryen. But this is only the case for informal labels.

Now, this flexibility does not extend to the formal titles of these women. When using their formal titles, they must use their married name. This is because there is only one “Lady X” at any given time, and it is a title reserved for the wife of the corresponding “Lord X.” This is true for men as well, by the way: Laenor was never “Lord Velaryon” because Corlys was “Lord Velaryon,” and only one person can hold the title at a time. So for example, Alicent wouldn’t be called “Lady Hightower,” even if she wasn’t married to a King, because the only Lady Hightower is the wife of Lord Ormund Hightower (who is also the only Lord Hightower). This is also why Rhaenys Targaryen is referred to as Lady Velaryon and never as Lady Targaryen.

As for Alicent, she's a bit unique because she married into the royal family in particular. Since royalty needs to feel important, they get their own rules that are a bit different from the rest of the nobility. The only ones with a claim to the name Targaryen are those born to a man with that name. The title of Queen is never attached to a specific House. Alicent’s formal title isn’t “Queen Targaryen,” nor is it “Queen Hightower,” it is simply “Queen Alicent.” But even if she'd married a Lord, she could very well still be known by the name Hightower.