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#working but it’s literally not and it’s fucking me up because if i can’t do this assignment then i can’t do like 3 other assignments either
the-xolotl · 2 days
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A Taste of Darkness Itself
Alastor x fem!Reader x His Shadow
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ᯓღ Filthy one-shot of Alastor’s shadow railing reader.
ᯓღ a/n: i have been rotting on this idea for like literal weeks and i finally had the willpower to write it. idk how it got to 3.5k but it did. ENJOY !
SUMMARY: You hate being away from Alastor, but at least the silver lining is that Al’s shadow is nice company while he’s away. Today, though, it was a little more needy than usual.
ᯓღ CW: biting, licking, belly bulging, slight voyeurism, accidental exhibitionism, slight dub-con, no use of y/n, fem reader, size kink, monster fucking?, some aftercare, squirting, overstimulation, cumflation.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IN SIGHT. Thank you~
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Waking up without Alastor is always a bummer; turning over to find a cold, empty spot where your lover should be have been isn’t a great way to start the morning. Being understanding of how busy he is and that sometimes this Overlord duties take him away from the hotel and essentially from you doesn’t take away from how much you dislike it. At least when he had trips to the other side of the pentagram he often left his shadow behind to look after you and keep you company.
The shadow you had affectionately named Shade often attempted to keep you entertained or went with you about your day. Shade has always been pretty docile with you, at least when you are in his care. Sometimes you wonder if it’s capable of its own feelings or if Shade is only nice to you because Alastor tells it to, or because being part of Alastor means he also loves you somehow. You’ve never discussed it with your lover but you like to think it’s the former simply because it makes it more special and cute.
Today, especially, you think about how that works because Shade had been especially clingy and… a little needy. In a way, as clingy as a being that can’t talk or isn’t really tangible can be but he keeps distracting you by making you pay attention to it; showing you little trinkets (don’t have the slightest idea where it got them), turning on the nearest radio to play smooth jazz to dance to. It took your shadow’s hand to twirl you around and dip you down or wrap itself around your shadow.
“You’re acting like me when I’m being clingy with Alastor,” you giggle, petting the top of its transparent head. You get the sensation that it leans into your touch even when you’re not really touching it. Shade has its charm, the shadow is definitely sentient and thinks on its own outside of Alastor’s orders.
You start retracting your hand but Shade snatches it with a somewhat tight grip, something it doesn’t really ever do. “What’s wrong?” your voice filled with a mix of concern and confusion. His expression is indiscernible with a wide grin still edged on its flat features and being that it can’t speak you can’t expect a response either. However, your confusion turns to absolute bewilderment when Shade intertwines your fingers together with it, actually seeing and feeling a cold touch wrapped around your hand.
It sent a shiver down your spine, it was like touching a corpse; cold and clammy. Slowly, Shade emerged from the wall. It’s a little funny the way it looks like a sentient sticker pealing itself off a flat surface but as it left the wall of Alastor’s bedroom its form changed into something akin to materialized dark matter. Not quite slimy or gooey but also not entirely gaseous; just pure darkness in the silhouette of Alastor and just as tall.
Shade is still holding your hand and not letting you go, smile even wider, one that reaches the blank holes of his eyes. While it didn’t feel menacing it’s off-putting seeing and being grabbed by a tangible shadow. You’re looking up at it with wide eyes, blinking owlishly, “Shade…?” your voice cracked. Again, you weren’t scared but very shocked as it had never shown you this form before. Shade draws closer to you excitedly, enveloping your entire body in its chill embrace. “Oh, oh you’re cold,” you laughed nervously, “Since when can you— Oof,” you’re caught off by Shade lifting you up and taking you to Alastor’s bed in a blink of an eye. Even more confused and a little concerned now you attempt to free yourself from his grasp but it only tightens as Shade nuzzles its face against your cheek and neck.
“A-Alright buddy, haha. What are you doing there?” Shade is harmless, and there’s no doubt in your mind it would hurt you. Not with Alastor being his master and you being the love of its master’s life. It’s an odd sensation having the manifestation of darkness pinning you down onto the bed with a bit of rough force. Even still, you can’t help but be endeared by the affection the creature is giving you.
It’s innocent enough until you feel ghostly lips pressed against your neck, trailing up to your jawline and then to your cheek and stopping at the corner of your mouth. You’re frozen for a few moments, eyes wide, and you swear you hear a record scratch. “Shade…?” you whisper again but it doesn’t move. You hear it make a noise that sounds like a laugh or a chuckle. It’s something between radio static and demonic growls. Before you have another moment to process, the shadow is stealing your lips again in a hungry kiss.
You surprise yourself by returning it but are unable to keep up as Shade robs you of all the air in your lungs rather quickly as the kiss deepens. It’s heated and has you gasping for air soon. You have to fight to breathe between the savage kisses it seems to not get enough of. The darkness of its lower body starts wrapping around your thighs parting them to better accommodate itself between them.
Gasping you pull away from the desperate lips to finally fill your lungs with proper oxygen with big gasps. Icy fingers travel up your thighs digging its sharp claws and making you hiss. “Shade!” you yelp its name when it decided to shove its entire hand up your skirt and past your panties to give experimental rubs at your pussy. You arched and squirmed under its touch as he watched your reactions with rapt enthusiasm and attention. Heat begins to creep up your face, red dusting your cheeks in embarrassment. But you can’t help your hips bucking into its chill touch, “More,” you moan.
Shade tilts its head to the side, the holes of his eyes still boring into your face. You nod at it, breathing heavily, and grinding your hips up again, “Please, more,” you mewl again enjoying the contrast in temperature between your warm folds and the coldness of its slender fingers.
Shade presses further then, rubbing your folds up and down, your pussy is quickly becoming increasingly wet under its attention. The shadow lets you grind against its fingers, occasionally rubbing at your erect clit. Soft moans and heavy breaths spill from your lips as you let the sentient being have its way with you. His mouth returns to your skin to kiss and nip at it creating a path of blooming red marks across your collarbone and chest.
Once your juices are practically dripping down to the sheets, Shade decided to dip in two fingers. It’s a tight fit that has your back arching and eyes rolling back but you welcome them spreading your legs even further inviting it in. He makes what you can only assume is a pleased low, reverberating growl. Your soaked cunt makes it much easier to slide them in despite the resistance, and oh how or where did this being of darkness and magic learn how to finger fuck so good?
Even with the frosty presence over your entire body, you feel the temperature rising around you, the room quickly growing hot and stuffy. You needed out of your clothes, except Shade still hadn’t let go of your hands yet, it held them up with one of his as he devoured the rest of your body with love bites and kisses. “Shade— Clothes, off. I need—” and just like that your clothes went up in smoke leaving you completely naked and more of your body exposed to the shadow’s hungry eyes. Its eye travels over your every curve, mapping its ups and downs, every groove. Finally, its hand releases your wrist in favor of touching your skin, especially your plush chest. It grabbed and squeezed at your tits feeling the size and weight of them. The contrast of the heat of your skin felt delightful against his cold one.
Shade pinched at your nipple, tugging it earning more moans and pleas. You’re losing yourself bit by bit, succumbing to the pleasure not even thinking about the consequences—would there be consequences?— you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “C’mere,” you whimper, a hand coming up to cup the side of his head and guiding him down to eye level with your chest. Shade didn’t resist and went down willingly, “Suck,” keeping its eyes on your face he obeyed willingly taking the hardened bud in its mouth sucking and digging little sharp teeth into the soft flesh. Meanwhile, his other hand hadn’t stopped, in fact, its fingers sped up in scissoring motions to coax your cunt open. Both your hands are on his head now holding on for dear life while you allow it to take you however it likes. And maybe you didn’t have a choice, you aren’t really calling the shots, but it didn’t matter. Not when you can feel your first orgasm building in your core.
Shade is oddly good at pleasuring you, in the back of your head you still wonder how, a morbid part of you think it’s from it possibly watching the way Alastor touched you. It’s then the fleeting thoughts of missing your boyfriend float momentarily in your lust-ridden mind. As your moans got more frequent and louder, your fingers digging harder into the shadow you felt yourself an inch away from coming. You cum with a scream and your orgasm wrecks through your entire body but Shade doesn’t miss a beat. It doesn’t stop, it doesn’t pause. The shadow continues to assault your g-spot while he alternates between biting and sucking at your breasts, even planting its palm against your clit while it continues to finger you to add even more stimulation.
Your body is shaking uncontrollably and the only thing keeping you in place is its grasp over your body. “Fuck me, please fuck me. I can’t take it anymore, fuck. I need your cock inside me,” voice desperate, as if your livelihood and sanity depend on being stuffed. You didn’t have to wait long for that request to be fulfilled either. The removal of his fingers from your wet pussy had you whining and clenching around nothing but almost as soon as they were gone they were replaced by something bigger pressing into you.
A tendril is teased along your folds with curiosity, as if copying movements and your suspicions that Shade is following Alastor’s actions in bed click subconsciously in your head. However, you’re too busy focusing on the tentacle between your legs now pressing its way inside you. Shade makes a noise and radio static spreads across the room, it makes a whiny sound along with your loud moan at the feeling of the thick length stretching you out. Your nails made their way to its back scratching at pitch darkness.
“Shade, don’t—” you tried to warn it to be gentle but it was too late. The shadow followed the tight heat of your dripping pussy and sheathed itself in one thrust making you cry and scream out. Tears slide down your cheeks, your body trembling already, writhing and trying to pull away from the fat tendril penetrating you. But it wouldn’t allow you, Shade only pinned you harder against the mattress with shadow tentacles and lifted your hips up to begin thrusting into you.
The shadow clearly had never done this before, given the sloppy way it’s thrusting into you with little rhythm but, it’s hard and it’s intense. The radio static buzzed across your skin rising goosebumps, Shade’s own moans increased; they sounded deliciously demonic. It picked up the pace before you even had time to adjust, “S-Slow down, too much,” but it didn’t listen. The restraints only got tighter, Shade didn’t mean to but it’s losing itself to the immense pleasure your body is giving it. The shadow continued to lick and bite anywhere it could, adding claws to the mix; its hand began to roam across your curves committing them to memory and dragging sharp nails that nearly broke skin anywhere it touched.
You felt Shade all around you overwhelming your senses and caging you on the bed. There’s no escape, not that you wanted to really, the mischievous shadow has you screaming and moaning its name wantonly. Despite begging it to slow down the pace you’re still wrapping your legs around its shadowy torso brining him closer to you.
“Kiss me, Shade. Kiss me again.” you plea between sobs of ecstasy. Its mouth leaves your tummy where it had been passionately sucking hickeys to comply with your request. It’s hot and heavy with a long tongue prodding your mouth, moaning loudly you enthusiastically accept the ravenous kiss. Shade’s hand in the meantime takes purchase on your hips for the purpose of guiding you up and down its cock and using your body as a life-size flesh-light. The shadow is still hammering into you and bullying your cervix with every rock of its hips, being mean about it by pulling all the way to the tip just to slam you back down for your ass to meet its hips.
You’re unsure how many times you’ve cum by now, it’s certainly been a couple times but you’ve been completely unaware because your mind is on cloud nine and the difference between pain and pleasure has been blurred. Right then, a particularly hard thrust straight into your sensitive bundle of nerves makes your body go limp, mouth hung open in a silent scream, no sound coming out but your body convulses within the dark grasp of its massive hand. Your eyes had rolled back so far only the whites of your eyes were visible and you swear you died again right then. Shade’s pace didn’t falter, fucking you straight into overstimulation, fucking you dumb, drool dripped from your agape mouth.
Shade is becoming increasingly feral with his ministrations, you’re to the point where you can’t hold a single thought for more than a second, not being helped by Shade maneuvering your body to turn you over so your chest is being pressed against the mattress and your ass is high up in the air. It doesn’t miss a beat thrusting into your spent cunt to continue right where it left off. Its pace doesn’t falter for a second no matter how arduous it’s been fucking into you and you’re not better than a rag-doll being used for the shadow’s pleasure. Your throat is raw and sore from all the screams, moans, and whines.
You’re tired, possibly nearly unconscious, and completely drunk in pleasure. Pleas of mercy have turned to begs of more, don’t stop, harder over and over like a desperate prayer. Even your cheeks are raw from the tears, every little caress makes them sting but you take it. Your hips are pushing back against its cock, off rhythm but the effort is there. There’s no matching the shadow’s inhuman pace even if your stamina could. Barely. Shade tangled a shadowy hand in your hair to press your head into the sheets, using its weight to cage you down.
You feel its long, icy tongue lick a path from the bottom of your spine all the way up the nape of your neck, tasting the coat of sweat over your body. It sends a full body shiver and for once you actually feel yourself cum. Sinking further into the mattress your hands cling onto the sheets tightly, “Shade, no more, no more please!” you can’t even recognize your own voice. It’s hoarse, barely audible. The lewd, squelching sound bounced off the walls, and the sounds of your bodies rang loud in your ears making the blush of your face an even brighter red. Its thrust is brutal and unrelenting. It’s beyond you how you can withstand being split open by such a beast without breaking. It seems to obey you for the first time since it started having its way with you body.
However, in the next moment, it’s pulling your hair to bring up against his chest. Leaning back against the headboard and laying your back against him with its cock still nuzzled deep inside you. You look down to assess the damage, your tired eyes go wide seeing all the bloody bites and scattered bruises, there are finger pricks around your hips and thighs where he gripped you. The thing that really draws your attention is the prominent bulge in your tummy and the sheer size of the stretch of your hole. There’s cum and juices dripping down to your and Shade’s thighs too. You relax into the embrace, exhausted even if you’re still being made to cock-warm it, at least it’s no longer moving; you’re far too overstimulated and doubt you could handle any more.
The Shadow, though, had other plans. Shade appears to have infinite stamina already grabbing the underside of your thighs to lift you up and down his girthy length. You have neither the will nor the strength to combat it, only tightening around it and holding on to its forearms for dear stability. Shade used its tongue to lick away stray tears as one of its ghostly hands pressed on the bulge on your belly. It made you yelp, every inch dragging along your inside felt like your insides were on fire. Your eyes are fixed on where its cock disappeared inside you mesmerized by the way it parted your folds and your body accommodates it. “S-Shit you’re— so fucking big.” your voice is small, pathetic, barely audible. But your hips are still moving, you’re still ready to cum for the umpteenth time today.
Head swims with lust, you’re reaching highs of rapture you never thought possible; Shade has pushed you to your absolute limits miraculously without breaking you. It growls again, louder this time, and its hold on you clamps down like a vice. It makes you wince in pain before you feel a hot liquid spill and cover your insides. It came, finally, triggering your own orgasm with a shrill scream. You squirt involuntarily just from the overstimulation alone. The sheets soak and make a huge mess from the spray of juices, making a mess on your own legs, and Shade’s as well. This time it actually stops thrusting now that it has reached its release but doesn’t pull out, you lay there completely limb in his arms. It goes back to nuzzling your face sweetly, making a purring sound, and caressing your stomach softly. You could barely keep your eyes open at this point from sheer exhaustion.
Hearing a familiar voice yanks you out of your blissful trance, “I see you have been quite busy today, my dear.” A silky smooth voice resonates across the room making your head whip around to find the source. Alastor steps out of the shadows with a wide, wicked smile. You try to find your words but it’s futile. You’re too far gone and there’s no way you’re able to speak now. However, Alastor doesn’t press further, nor does he comment on the cuddling. He knew already, of course. For now, he’d let you rest and have a stern talk with his shadow later. “Why don’t we get you cleaned up, hmm?” he offered with a soft voice and a gentle hand. Shade lifted you into his arms and disappeared back into the shadows suddenly leaving you feeling empty and copious amounts of cum spilled from your pussy, making you wince and grimace. Alastor stayed silent as he carried you to the bath, running warm water before easing you in.
“I missed you today.” were the first words you managed to croak out. Your throat is still fucked, it likely would be for some time. Alastor is careful cleaning your body and rolling up his sleeves to be able to wash your hair. You’re not quite meeting his gaze, which he found amusing.
“Did you now? You seemed a little preoccupied when I came back— In fact you didn’t even notice when I had arrived.” the lilt in his voice is teasing, you can hear a chuckle.
You groan softly, “You watched?” you ask with embarrassment written all over your face. He silently continues to massage the shampoo into your hair without answering the question. You didn’t know what made it worse; the silent confirmation or if he had admitted to watching you get absolutely wrecked by his shadow.
“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll have my turn with you and you can have the real thing. See how you manage then.”
Your thighs clenched at his statement. Your whole body ached painfully, there’s no way you’ll be partaking in any strenuous activities for at least a week; there’s no way you’re walking for a couple days either. Alastor chuckled at how easily he could rile you up even after getting absolutely destroyed by a demonic entity.
“Just so you know, me and that shadow are connected,” he brought the shower head to rinse the shampoo off, “It’s a part of me, its thoughts are my thoughts, what it feels I feel.” It almost seems like an offhanded piece of information but this makes you realize something. Shame, embarrassment, and horror make your body stiffen.
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sugrhigh · 2 days
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CANT SLEEP - ( c.s )
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REQUESTED**
summary- chris stumbles across your instagram late at night, unable to contain himself from participating in some self pleasure. but when he accidentally likes an old post, things get even steamier.
warnings- onlyfans!reader x subby-ish!chris, phone (?) sex, pretty much smut with a little plot don’t say i didn’t warn you
a/n: say you can’t sleep, baby i know! she’s working late but she’s definitely not a singer! anyways i hope you guys didn’t forget about me and enjoy this little fic. and thank you to the non who requested! (if you hate it im so sorry)
fucking instagram.
chris has a love-hate relationship with social media; it feels annoyingly formal considering the fame, but he’s also mutuals with lots of beautiful women because of it.
so it’s admittedly fun to scroll through the app once he’s alone in his room for the night, just like he is now, tapping his thumb to leave a like on the posts that really catch his eye.
and then a suggestion pops up on his feed, a tempting picture from someone completely different: you.
it’s a newer photo, from a day ago. you’re on the beach somewhere in the caribbean, trendy sunglasses perched on your head, covered only by a skimpy orange bikini.
all dressed up in his favorite color, just by coincidence.
he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, exhaling a long breath out his nose as he analyzes further.
you’re laid out on your stomach by the ocean, ass fully on display as you prop yourself up on your elbows. it only presses your cleavage further together, an entirely mouthwatering sight. the lighting makes your eyes light up, mysterious smile frozen on your face.
call me on my shellphone.
chris smirks slightly at your caption, mainly because he actually does want to hit you up. but instead he clicks on your profile, intent on learning more.
his eyes widen slightly at your following; he can’t believe he’s never seen or heard of you before this. your email is in your bio, along with the pleasant surprise that you’re based in LA. then he sees the only fans link pasted underneath.
and as much as chris wants to click it, he won’t. at least, not yet. so he returns to your public posts, scrolling to find even more enticing photos.
there’s one of you in bed, hair fanned out around you, a suggestive finger between your teeth. you’re promoting a lingerie website, dressed in a sexy red set that leaves very little to the imagination.
then a picture of you leaning over the side of a pool, water beading on the slope of your back as you look down the lense, plush lips parted in faux-surprise.
he’s getting far too excited, and before he knows it he’s palming himself through his pants, admiring all of the revealing angles and outfits. chris finds himself thanking all of the companies sponsoring you.
a moment later he lands on a photo that quite literally leaves him breathless. you’re on your knees, bent over a little vanity stool with your legs spread wide apart. you’re glancing back at the camera, clothed pussy practically begging to escape the tiny blue thong covering it.
he’s applying pressure to his shaft in bursts now, teasing himself as his hips chase his fingers. it’s only when he glances back at his phone that he realizes he’s accidentally liked the post, from over four months ago. he was too focused on the movement of one hand that he forgot about the other.
his cheeks redden immediately, frozen in embarrassment as he yanks his hand away from his lap. he’s not sure what to do, and (un)luckily enough, you’ve already seen that he’s stalking.
when you check the notification you’re surprised, in the middle of your regular scroll now that you’re back in your room for the night. you’re still at a resort in the bahamas, enjoying a much-needed vacation (though you’re still occasionally working).
but looking at chris sturniolo’s big verified account in your likes, on a post from a while ago nonetheless, gets you a little excited. it surprises you, him being on your page, though you’ve always been a bit of a fan.
you click on his profile, going right to his messages since you already follow him. you’re mostly motivated by the fact that you’re buzzing off a few fruity drinks, so you type out two letters and hit send.
hi
the dm comes through his phone a second later. it’s just a simple little word, but chris grows even more sheepish at the fact that you did in fact see his little slip up.
he bites down on the inside of his cheek, unsure of whether or not he should respond. but he’s already in too deep, and he doesn’t want to act like a complete loser to you. so he uses he taps the keyboard.
hey
when you see that he’s answered, you feel yourself get a little bit giddy. you were really hoping you wouldn’t scare him away, and the fact that he’s rising to the challenge impresses you.
nice to see you in my likes
i’m quite the fan
chris’s heart quite literally skips a beat. you’re toying with him, but he also gets the sense that you like it, that you want more. he’s still ridiculously horny, and actually talking to you isn’t helping, but he doesn’t care.
i think i might be a bigger fan of you
it’s far bolder than he normally gets, especially online, and he kind of likes it way more than expected. you can feel your body heating up at his response, rolling over onto your stomach on top of the plush comforter.
your teeth clamp down on your bottom lip, gnawing on it as you consider what you want to say. you don’t want to be too forward, but it’s also the name of the game.
cute :)
what were you doing on my account this late at night christopher
he swears his face can’t get any more red. he instinctively looks at his lap, at his still-hard dick, and he decides that honesty might be the best policy.
lurking
because you turn me on
you fully smile now, happy that he’s continuing to match your energy. it’s impossible to ignore the way you’re throbbing now, imagining all of the dirty ways this conversation could go, so you keep it up.
oh really now
what’re you thinking about hmm
you, in my bed
in my hands
wish i could feel them right now
View Photo
here, specifically ;)
the photo notification sends his heart beating out of control, and his curious finger taps it open without hesitation. it’s a photo of your bare chest, perky tits exposed to the camera, shirt bunched up by your collarbone. your mouth is parted just a bit, and chris audibly sucks in a breath.
he’s already slipped his hand back into his sweats, really stroking his dick this time. he’s so fucking hot and bothered at this point that he’s sensitive as hell, and spreading his own wetness only adds to the effect.
holy shit
want my tongue all over you
chris is fumbling around with the keyboard, toying with himself as he continues the conversation because he never wants it to end.
you don’t want it to either, considering nobody has ever really piqued your interest like chris has. you’re practically dripping from the conversation, already soaking your thin silk shorts.
but at the end of the day this is still your job, and you can’t give everything away for free.
you should video chat me rn
link is in my bio x
and perhaps you underestimated him, because you get a notification a minute later that someone has requested a private video chat, which is insanely expensive to do because of your recent growth.
you know it’s chris, even though his username was definitely randomly generated. but people don’t pay frequently enough for it to be anyone else, so you open the app and initiate the call.
chris nearly crawls out of his skin when his phone starts buzzing, even though he was expecting it. he has no idea why he did this because he’s absolutely terrified, but the need took over and he had to really see you.
and now he is.
the call connects and you pop up, laid back against your pillows with your phone propped up on something he can’t see. you’re already topless, and a moan slips past his lips before he can help it.
“hey there.” you purr, smiling slightly from his little noise.
“fuck, even your voice is sexy.” he groans, bucking into his hand without a second thought.
it just feels so good, and having you on the phone is making it harder and harder for him to slow down. he doesn’t even care how obvious he’s being; why hide it now?
“aw, touching yourself already? how needy, i was hoping you’d wait for me.” you tease, one hand trailing from your neck to your breasts as you speak.
chris takes note of this, breath hitching as he watches you slide your fingers lower. you toy with the waistband of your tiny pajama pants, pulling them down so slowly that it makes him weak.
and then you spread your legs, fully revealing yourself now in the dim lighting from a lamp that’s somewhere out of sight. his mouth hangs open, pupils blown out in pure lust.
“god, i wish i could taste that pretty pussy right now.”
it slips out naturally, which amazes him because he’s never been very confident when it comes to dirty talk. but you bring it out of him.
and the least you can say is that you fucking love it. a sigh passes your lips as your fingers slide over your slit, enjoying his facial expressions as he strokes his own cock.
“mm, i just know your mouth would feel so good,” you praise, yearning for more of him in a way that forces you to continue, “let me see you, baby. wanna watch you get off with me.”
chris’s cheeks flush slightly at the request, but he would do just about anything you asked at this point, so he blindly adjusts his camera angle. now you can see that he’s got his sweats pushed down, shirt resting above his happy trail, dick in one hand while he holds his phone in the other.
“fuck, you’d fill me up perfectly too.” you tell him truthfully, applying more pressure to your clit in fast circles at the sight.
he whimpers as he pumps even faster, spurred on by your words and your actions. he ogles as one hand teases your nipples, simultaneously plunging the other into your cunt.
that’s when chris finally hears a moan slip past your lips, and he swears he’s in heaven.
“shittt.” you slur, driving your two fingers deep into your entrance over and over, wishing they were chris’s instead.
“so fuckin sexy, m’not gonna be able to last much longer.” he compliments, even though he’s barely able to string the sentence together.
not that there would be any right words to describe the way he’s feeling. this is not at all how he thought his day was going to turn out, but it has to be the best turn it could’ve taken. his muscles are tightening, and the familiar pit in his stomach is growing.
“keep going. want you to come for me, pretty boy.” your voice is sultry and strained as you build your own orgasm up, clenching around your own hand as you curl them inside yourself expertly.
chris throws his head back, biting down hard on his lip to contain the primal growl crawling up his throat.
the pet name is just the nail in the coffin. his dick twitches and he knows he’s only a few strokes away from finishing, so he draws it out of himself in a way that allows him to relish the feeling.
the sight of him unraveling makes your head spin, and the rubber band in your own stomach suddenly snaps. you’re a shuddering mess, riding your orgasm out as you whine his name.
usually you’re careful to not let yourself get too into it, never falling deep enough in the fantasy. but then again, it’s not every day that a guy like chris ends up in your likes.
it’s unfamiliar territory for each of you in different way, but at the same time neither of you want this to be the last time you interact. his chest heaves, and you take a brief moment of silence to catch your breath.
“wow, that was…” he trails off, because he has no idea what to say now.
“yeah,” you nod, sly smile lighting your features up, “i think you’re my new favorite customer.”
-
@fawnchives @l9vesick @55sturn @luverboychris @teapartyprincess4two @pinksturniolo @mattinside @stonermattsgf @inkyray @impureals @chrisactualwife @snowysosturn @fikefries @riasturns @beccaluvschris @realuvrrr @mattstromboli @pepsiboyy @gdsvhtwa @ginswife @ivonchetooo1239 @julescameronmf @autsturni @beach4life @mattspolitank @cupidsword @mattssturnz @anonymouslyachrisgirl @aflairforthedramattic @literallyjustrue @p1nkm6tter @vschrissturn @mattsturniolox @bigbeefybitch @tpwktahlz @goldengrapejuice @cherrybombpopcs @hrtz4alex2211 @sturnsjtop @slutformeganfox @katw4shereee @lizzy7777 @st4niolos @bigdic7821 @justalittle47 @mattsdirtylittlehoe @iihrtsturniol0 @bellasashylegs @xoxo4chrisss @miloisdone1
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imaybe5tupid · 3 hours
Text
if you see absolutely anything that has kabru in it. And are unable to stop yourself from making it about L/abru (even when Laios doesn’t even appear or is relevant to the content in question!) and reduce kabrus entire deuteragonist-level character into wanting to fuck laios. I’m stealing something out of your house!!!!!
disclaimer: If you ship l/abru and gaf about kabru and don’t do this then this post isn’t about you 🤓
#I love kabru so much but finding content of him is so painful bro I cant#Flames flames flames up the side of my face!#I constantly consider just nuking my account and forgetting I ever read or cared about dungeon meshi many times bc of this lol#I care him so much. More than I care about dungeon Meshi as a work as much as I respect it and it’s fun to create for#I can’t be normal about this genuinely I never get like this but I turn into A.M from I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream#Laios and kabrus connection is really sweet in the end and I don’t ship it but like the ship it’s so inoffensive in abstract just not for m#But in reality every day I get jumpscared by the things people are doing to my angel#Like just do laios self shipping that’s clearly what you daft cunts actually want why puppeteer kabru free my boy#I promised I would never post like this but like it really makes me so mad lol. And want to just go back to not looking up anything online#And I already specifically curate my experience to a crazy degree.#But the way that this fandom revolves around babying laios is crazy dude#Like every single thing is about poor poor laios#like he’s the main character but it’s insane even people who LIKE him have to put disclaimers when saying even jokey mean things#Because then 1000x idpol white autistic people will descend upon them otherwise#And I say this as an autistic person of colour it’s annoying asf lol I do not respect any of you! To put it mildly!#If the only way you can engage with characters or stories is through vectors which You can personally project onto and relate to#I’m doing a lot more than fucking stealing something out of your house!#It’s the most normal thing on earth to not like the main character of a series but I feel if you genuinely hated laios#And are not just guilty of criticising him or appreciating his flawed character. Then the legions of cornballs will descend on you#The only good spaces are small pockets of people engaging with each other together. The rest lol nuclear devastation#but I suppose that’s the nature of fandoms lol why complain about clowns at the circus 🚶#Like there’s literally characters whose main purpose in the story IS their relationship/dynamic with laios. Kabru is NOT JUST THAT!!#He is a deuteragonist!#Treat him like one!#Like why are people talking about labru on my freaking kaburin and kabushuro posts dude free me
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amourtoken · 3 days
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possibly thinking of semi mean dom noah who refuses to touch you because you’re being a brat but he can’t help it he wants to see you cum so he makes you touch yourself while he’s fucking your throat :3 your fingers aren’t as good as his and it’s not enough but he won’t let you stop because he likes the way you moan and whine when he’s in ur mouth
maybe it started bc he caught you trying to get yourself off when he specifically told you not to, and “if your fingers are so much better than mine, fucking prove it”
sorry that’s all
ghHhh yeah
Noah usually wouldn't give a fuck but he woke up in a mood today so congrats you have to deal with it!
You had no clue he was gonna be home so early from the studio and unfortunately for you, he walked right in on you with your hand between your legs. He could've just climbed into bed and helped you out, but where's the fun in that if he can't make you suffer just a little bit?
He'd have you on your knees with his big cock down your throat within a minute lol, his hand a little too tight in your hair making you wince but the force of his thrusts into your throat really made your eyes water. He thinks you're adorable like this, all whiny and broken for him. He can't give in just yet though, he doesn't feel like you've really learned your lesson.
"What baby, doesn't feel as good as when I do it? Should've waited for me then."
"you were so needy earlier what's wrong now? Can't get off without me?"
"Maybe I'll help you, but I don't feel like you're really sorry yet."
Your hand was still pathetically working between your legs, chasing pleasure that you know you wouldn't reach without his help and unfortunately you can't beg for it when he's 8 inches deep in your throat. The way you were squirming and whimpering was a pretty good indication of your struggle though.
Noah fucked your throat until he was right at the edge of his own orgasm before pulling out and literally lifting you off the floor to toss you on the bed, hilting himself inside you in a single thrust. After the tears started really flowing, he couldn't help himself. Plus he really wanted to cum inside you so-
He slis a hand between your bodies to show you how much better his fingers felt than yours, tracing the perfect patterns on your clit to make your legs shake and your vision prick with black spots around the edges. It didn't even take 15 seconds to have you cumming around his cock and literally wracking with sobs.
"Told you my hands are better than yours. Think you're gonna cum without me again?"
"Pretty thing, yeah I bet this feels a lot better hm? Should've just asked for my help in the first place."
"I should make you cum until you forget you can get off without me."
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writingroom21 · 4 hours
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Seeing the ghost face reader just inspired me with something. Imagine shy introverted reader (she's like fluttershy if you watched my little pony) nerdy pouge reader where she is sarah’s bestie who has a massive crush on rafe but doesn't show it but when he starts saying something really bad to Sarah (I don't know what) reader loses it inside since she can't show it so later that night she secretly goes to race room quietly while he's asleep wakes him up by slapping his face hard (he wont mind since he's always found reader hot) reader is secretly a dom as they have hardcore sex
Like A Virgin
Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex(wrap it up), cream pie, overstimulation, chocking, oral (m receiving), (let me know if I missed any)
Wc: 3.2K
A/N: I'm loving all the requests I've been getting! Keep them coming! I'm getting through them as fast as I can, so sorry if it take a while. I also just started my new job so I have to figure out a writing schedule. So please bare with me, I will get to them
“What the fuck Rafe! Why do you always have to start something? He’s my boyfriend, he can be here.” Sarah’s voice echoes through the halls.You had just walked through the back door to get a drink. She had invited the pogues over for a pool day, you’ve all been outside all day. From the moment you had gotten there you could tell something was off.
Sarah was tense and a little short, apologizing straight after and blaming it on being tired. You would believe her if it wasn’t for the dark looming shadow that was Rafe Cameron. He was lurking around, making sly comments, objectifying your’s and Kie’s body. He knew better than to try with Cleo, she would kill him in his sleep in a heartbeat. There was definitely something going on because even if he normally is a dick, he would have quit by now.
You’ve been Sarah’s friend for ages, the only person she never actually tried to push away. It was shocking for everyone because she’s always been out going while you kept to yourself. Instead of making friends you were reading not wanting to be bothered by the other kids. Then one day Sarah came up to you and forced you out of your shell.From then on the two of you were attached by the hip, always together. She never onced judged you for being a pogue even when all her kook friends made fun of you.
They saw you as an easy target. The shy, poor, bookworm pogue who hangs off the kook princess with a vice grip. She would always defend you, telling them off. Even going as far as getting into an argument with Rafe about you. He wasn’t always a dick to you, at first he was even nice? If you could even use that word but when he started to do drugs he became a different person.
You’ve spent countless hours in this house and viewing how the family dynamic works. They sometimes tend to forget that you are there, your quietness hiding you from their view. You’ve seen how Rafe can get, yelling and making a mess of things. How Ward neglects his eldest and youngest for Sarah and so on. The family has a complicated relationship that’s for sure, but you knew something was wrong.
Now you can see what was wrong, it was all of you. “No, I don't want filthy pogues in my house. They are nothing but low lives Sarah. If you want to ruin your life fine but don’t drag the rest of us down.” Rafe’s voice booms over hers. “Ahhhh you are so crazy. You are literally the worst. I just wanted to have a good time with my friends. Why can’t you just be a normal brother for once?” Sarah storms off running into you on her way back outside. 
“Hey did you?” She points behind her and you just nod. “I’m sorry.” You give her a quick hug and she goes back outside. Entering the kitchen you see Rafe texting on his phone leaning on the counter. He looks up at you and rolls his eyes. “What do you want, pogue?”  You ignore the venom that was laced in his words. Doing what you always do, biting your tongue afraid of the confrontation's consequences. “Fucking spit it out, stop being such a baby.” With a deep breath you do.
“Maybe you should try being nicer to people. Sarah’s your sister and you treat her like shit.” Rafe scoffs as you get water from the fridge. “If I wanted advice I wouldn’t go to someone who’s poor. You and your criminal friends are just a waste of space.” He watches as you walk away, looking back to say one last thing today. “Don’t you find it funny how Sarah actually has friends. You’re still hanging out with high schoolers because everyone hates you. Maybe it's time to change and grow up.”
He left you alone after that. The rest of the afternoon was peaceful and filled with fun. At first you were scared of what he would say or do. You expected him to actually run out after you and start yelling. But nothing happened. Sarah had ordered you all pizzas and set up the movies in the living room. Everyone ate and walked as the movies played in the background. As it got later, the sun died, sleeping until it is brought to life once again in the morning. Mostly everyone was asleep, Kie and Sarah chatted and you chimed in time for time. But soon the sounds of Kie’s voice faded and became nothing. 
“Sarah?” The sound of blankets indicates that someone is moving around.”Yeah?” There’s so much you want to say, tell her so she knows you are there for you. But none of them seem good enough. “Are you okay?” You hear a sigh and more shuffling. Sarah plops her pillow and blanket next to you, laying down, she finally answers. “I guess.”
“It must be tough when he acts like that. I’m sorry you don’t deserve this.” Usually you don’t really comment on these things. Rafe is an iffy topic for Sarah. After he tried to kill her, she finds it hard to even look at him. She wants to help him because he’s her brother but at the same time she doesn’t recognize him. You don’t like to pick at the sore wound so you tend to just lend a comforting hand. “It’s always kinda been like this, the drugs just make it worse.” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “I still remember when we were little and I was so scared of a thunderstorm that he held me the whole night. Told me that he would always be there to protect me because he was my big brother, he loved me. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that, I don’t know who he is.”
You hand finds hers over the blankets, squeezing her fingers. “Sometimes people get lost. Some get help and find their way while the others continue on the never ending path. It sucks that you can’t do anything, he won’t let you. If it makes you feel better I think that part of him is still in there somewhere, he just hasn’t had the chance to show it.” 
Her fingers squeeze yours back. “I hope so.” Sarah fell asleep shortly after that conversation, leaving you to lay there and think. You think back to when you were young, Rafe seemed normal then. Sure he had some quirks but what child doesn’t. He would always hold the door for you everywhere you went. Ward would have you tag along on outings since he felt bad seeing your face after Sarah would tell you about something cool they did. There were also moments when he would try to make you smile, the little boy just wanted to make you happy. 
At that time Rafe was okay with having you around, if you twisted it out of him he might even say excited. That didn’t last long because their mother died and with her she took the last last bit of hope he ever had. He never truly felt safe again knowing that the person he loved the most was just gone. The outburst was the first sign he wasn’t okay, yet Ward ignored it. Then it was the violence, once again ignored. Finally the drugs got him the attention he was looking for. All for him to hear what he always knew. “You’re a fucking disappointment Rafe. Knew it from the moment I laid eyes on you.” From then on out the world was dead to him, he only needed to focus on himself. Everyone else is the enemy. 
Sarah’s words keep replaying in your head. Why can’t Rafe see he’s hurting people? You get why he shut you out, even when you were crushed and cried, you understood. But he can’t do it anymore to his own sister. Without thinking your body makes a mistake. It carries you up the stairs and straight into his room. The sounds of the door shutting wakes him up, he rubs his eyes trying to process what woke him. He opens his eyes just in time to see your hand in the air and strikes his cheek with your palm. 
“What the fuck.” He had to take a second to fully realize that you just slapped him. “What is your problem? Can’t you just be nice to people.” He sits up on the bed and you try to push him back down but he catches your hands. “Me be nice? You just walked into my room while I was sleeping just so you could fucking slap me. How about you be nice.” You struggle to get his grip off of you to no avail, he was holding on tight.
“I’ve been nice since the first time I met you. Kept my mouth shut when you did fucked up shit. Stop ruining your life and the life of others.” His eyes are piercing yours, his hold somehow tighter. “Maybe you should keep it shut, I like it better when you aren’t talking.” He pulls you closer, your knee catching you on the bed so you don’t fall. 
He’s staring at your lips, licking his to wet them. You go to argue with him but he cuts you off. “Come on. I bet a filthy pogue like you could think of ways to put it to better use.” One of his hands that was holding yours lowers. He stops once he feels your fingers brush against the bulge that’s forming in his boxers. The ignorant smirk that always bestows his face makes its way back.
Yanking your hand back, you slap him again, the smirk falling. Once again without thinking your body makes mistake two of the night. You kiss him. Pulling on the chain that lays around his neck, smashing your lips to his. Your other arms wrap around his neck, the hand holding the chain twists, closing it slightly. If this was a mistake then you can beg for forgiveness later, absolving your sins can wait. 
He just tasted too good to stop.
His hands go to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. “I knew you had a thing for me.” If this was your childhood you then there would be no room for arguing. The person you are in this moment doesn’t want to admit how true it is. You have seen how bad of a person he’s become and you know you would lose Sarah if she ever found out. “Do you even know how to keep your mouth shut? For once shut the fuck up.”
From the corner of your eye you see his belt laying on the floor in a pile of his clothes from earlier. Leaning over the side of the bed, you grab it and return to your previous position. “What are you doin” You kiss him to stop him from talking further, hands slowly pulling him over his head. The motion of you grinding down on him was enough to distract him from the feeling of the belt wrapping around his wrists and headboard. 
When you pull back and sit on his lap he goes to chase your lips just to be blocked by the fact his hands are tied. “What the fuck. Get these off.” The headboard rattles against the wall as he struggles to break loose. “Take these off right now or else.” Rafe’s tone is threatening but you can’t help but to laugh at the sight in front of you. The guy who’s been terrorizing your friend group is all vulnerable underneath you. “Or else, what? I’ll just leave you like this, maybe even take off the boxers so whoever finds you will realize you got played.” You scoot back to sit on his thighs.
“What do you think about that, huh Rafe? Personally, the idea of Ward finding you like that is hilarious. Better yet I’ll take a picture of you and post it everywhere, let everyone see the mean old Rafe Cameron as nothing else than a pussy.” Your teasing is accompanied by your fingers grazing over the bulge in his boxers. Rafe wants nothing more than to cuss you out right now. Make you regret even thinking that you could get one over on him.
The twitching in his boxers gives him away. He’s enjoying it. The big scary man that has a whole island afraid of him is enjoying the way you talk down on him. “You like that don’t you? You are a pussy, you know that right?” Your hand grips him tight, a whimper forced out of him. “Stop.” The words are weak and a contrast to how his hips are bucking up into your hand. Feeling generous you lower the boxers, taking his dick in your mouth without warning.
Rafe lets out a sigh when he feels the warmth of your mouth wrap around him. He goes to thrust into your mouth and you pull back, hands pushing his hips back down. “Do that again and I’ll leave you here to be found. I’m not kidding Rafe.” He nods at you, wincing as your nails dig into his skin. “Words.”
He looks down at you and can’t recognize who you are. Where has this side of you been hiding? He’s only ever known you as Sarah’s shy best friend. Yet the person in front of him looks like you but doesn’t act like you. “I get it. Fuck when were you like this?” From this view he looks so pretty.
His cheeks are a shade of pink from blushing, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He looks good enough to fuck. If he took time to see what you were reading he would see that you’ve always been like this. You just never advertised it like he does. “Always have been. Maybe if you were nicer to people you would know that.” His eyes close when you go back to sucking him off. They scrunch up when he isn’t getting the satisfaction he’s looking for. You are barely even sucking.
It’s more as if he’s in your mouth and you are moving up and down on it. There’s no suction or hand to facilitate your movements. Not enough pressure for him to feel good, in fact he just feels frustrated. Your ears perk up when you hear his little groans and whimpers. “What’s wrong? Is it not good?” The words yes are on the tip of his tongue, they died as soon as his eyes met yours. There’s this defiant look in them, as if you want him to tell you somethings wrong. “No no it’s okay. Great”
You give him a smile. “Good boy.” The moans he lets out to your words are chocked on when you actually start to blow him. Rafe is no virgin that’s for sure, but god damn he feels like one right now. This has got to be one of the best blowjobs he’s ever received, scratch that it is the best. “Please.” He sounds pathetic and it makes you speed up. Rafe physically chokes on air from the sudden change, his body convulsing.
He keeps letting out these moans that sound whiny and a mix of pain. The way that he twitches in your mouth just confirms he’s close. Crystal blue eyes open to see why you stopped. Even in the dark his eyes are still beautiful, it’s not fair. Rafe watches as you slip out of your sleep shorts and panties, then you shirt. Leaving you fully exposed since you didn’t wear a bra.
Taking your panties, you crawl up to hover over his lap. He looks up at you ready to ask you to finally fuck him but you took him by surprise by shoving your panties in his mouth. “Hold this for me baby. Maybe that will finally shut you up.” The two of you stare into the others eyes as you sink down on him. Just from sucking him off you were soaked so he easily slid in. It was a good thing you muffled him. The moan he let out was so loud that it could still be heard, you had to cover his mouth just to stop the sound.
“God you act like a fucking virgin. Thought you were the kook king who could get anyone he wanted.” Rafe’s head was pinning, everything you are doing is making him so confused. He’s usually the one fucking, even when the girls on top he controls everything. Having you come in here and just fuck him as if he’s there for you is mind fucking. When he’s pictured this exact moment it was with you under him, screaming and clawing at his back as he fucked the shit out of you.
This is not how your first time should have gone. It’s the wrong way around yet it felt amazing.
Sweat is forming on your skin, the moonlight reflecting off of it. Your body is on overdrive, bouncing up and down. There is a tingle in your lower abdomen, a sign of your impending orgasim. As the feeling slowly crocendos, your body leans forward. You place the hand that was covering his mouth on his throat. The squeeze of your hand has his eyes rolling to the back of his head.
He’s so close to cumming, can feel it running from his fingertips to his arms that you have tied. He practically cries when you finally cum, your walls pulsating around him, triggering his own orgasim. You let go of his throat, wiping the tears from his eyes and shushing him. “It’s okay. You did so good.” He sobs around your panties, sucking the fabric lightly to ground himself. The way you keep slowly bouncing is killing him, he’s ready to pass out from the sensation. 
Looking down to see where the two of you were connected was his first mistake of the night. The sight alone sent him into another smaller orgasim, his body thrashing from the overstimulation. You pull yourself up and fall down next to him. After a few minutes of not talking to catch your breaths, Rafe tries to speak. Looking over at him you can see he’s staring at you, leaning up you take your panties out of his mouth and slip them back on.
“Are you going to untie me now?” You smile at him and give him a short kiss. Getting up you gather your clothes and put them on. “This isn’t funny untie me or I’ll tell everyone you fucked me.” You walk over to the side of the bed he occupied, leaning to grab the belt holding his arms. Dipping your head to his ears you whisper to him. “Really think anyone would believe you?”
You move back watching his face drop when you walk further towards the door. “Think of this as payback for all my years of silence.” You shrug and open the door. “I’ll get you back for this.” With one last look at him you smirked.
“I hope so.”
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wickjump · 1 day
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got an idea for your crepic brainrot.
Imagine if Cross never got to escape from Nightmare
Imagine Epic finding out, not at the Omega Timeline like he did(did he?) in Underverse 0.6
But him finding out when Cross is forced to attack him
GGGOD. GOD..!!!!!!!! THAT HURTS AO MUCH BUT THATS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CREPIC TROPES NGL. i’m convinced that cross is very anti murder especially for innocent people because he’s a swap,,, so he would not be happy on nightmare’s team at all and for a brief moment he just wanted to run away with crepic and leave this shitty prison of a job behind and be happy in the omega timeline with him,,, but he CANT,,,,,,,,,,,…..!!!!!!?! and epic is freaked out cause like that’s his bestie and now he’s trying to kill him!!!cause he don’t know the context outside of what he’s heard from word of mouth!!!!!!!!! and he feels betrayed but also can see the hesitance in the way cross moves, the regret that flashes across his face, and epic has a feeling that maybe cross doesn’t want to hurt him idk… and he wants to save cross but like what can he do against the king of negativity himself? he’s powerful, but nightmare cannot be killed by his weapons. nightmare cannot die in a way that matters, not by epic’s hands. and they’re doomed and it has longing and painful memories and i want them to have a happy ending eventually but tbh that parts optinional they should get to be eternally doomed and yearning sometimes too
i’m so tired this might not make sense but like…god. crepic. i love you crepic so much. i love you forbidden crepic. another crepic trope i like is secret but not really secret crepic because they’re bad at hiding it but at the same time they acted the exact same way before they got together so it’s hard to tell. i like the idea of sneaking out/in the others house and half the people around them know they’re dating because it’s terribly obvious.two grown men that can’t lie for SHIT!!!!! ‘cross. you can’t go to the omega timeline you’re literally banned because you work for satan’s skelesona’ and cross does it anyway. he just puts on a bandana and a little bit of white THERES A BUG IN MY FUCKING BED HOLD ON. ok back my son ate it. probably. anyway . he puts on a bandana and a little white face paint and goes into the omega timeline anyway and it’s really obvious it’s him but like nobody cares because he ain’t do nothin but kiss his boyfriend he’s fine presumably. or epic crawling up into cross’ room in nightmare’s castle and literallt everyone knows epic’s there but at this point it doesn’t even matter. but they think they’re being sooooo sneaky
i also like crepic where it’s a little more canon adjacent and cross is left for dead by nightmare and epic finds him because ifucking LOVE INJURY FICS SO BADLY THEY MEAN THE WORLD 2 ME….. one character is injured and HATES IT it fuels me. then they like kill nightmare idk. but in a gay way i’m so tired can you tell
here’s a gold star btw
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redwlf843 · 10 hours
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Abby helping you through depression
The Good and The Bad
Abby Anderson x Fem!reader
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Summary: when your depression rears its ugly head back around Abby refuses to let you suffer alone.
A/N: thank for the request anon. Please know that this work deals with topics of depression. Thoughts and feelings of depression are explained in detail so if this is something that you find triggering please do not read this.
Warnings: depression, issues of self worth, reader’s thoughts do get dark in this, if I missed anything let me know.
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You couldn’t get up you just couldn’t do it. All you could do was stare at the ceiling and let your mind wander against your better judgment. You knew what was happening, you started to get the signs of it last week. The tiredness that weighed down your body, the lack of motivation to do quite literally anything, the mood swings, the feeling of just nothingness that seemed to encase you. You felt guilty for feeling this way you had a good life. Steady job, roof over your head, food on the table, loving friends and family, and a beautiful girlfriend.
You hated yourself for feeling a creeping loneliness when you had such an amazing and thoughtful girlfriend. Abby was one of the best things in your life how dare you feel alone? These thoughts kept circulating throughout your brain and getting worse by the minute. You weren’t good enough for her she deserved better, you weighed her down, you were a burden that was passed onto her. Your mind wanders to thoughts of your friends and family, what if they just put up with you? You think of every time you e failed, every time you’ve felt low in your life and all of those thoughts manifest in to a bitter ball of depression that sits right on your chest weighing you down.
Would anyone even miss you? Do you even deserve to be missed? As soon as that thought crosses your mind you try to shake it away but you can’t. The voice in your head getting louder and louder. You almost don’t even hear the door open but you see the light from the open door illuminate the darkened room.
“Sweetheart?” Abby’s voices sounds in the room and you can’t bring yourself to sit up to look at her. No you didn’t want her to see that state you were in because you k ew for a fact she’d try to help you. She didn’t deserve to babysit you after she got done dealing with patients all day.
You feel the mattress sink beside you as she sits on the bed next to you. You can feel her worried eyes looking over your features. “Have you gotten out of bed today?” She asks her voice gentle not an ounce of judgment to be heard. You know for a fact she wouldn’t judge your answer but right now you’re afraid to tell her.
You don’t want her to know how pathetic and lazy you are. That you couldn’t even leave the bed.
“Ok I’m gonna take that as a no” Abby says as she tucks some hair behind your ear. “I just ask because I want to know if you’ve eaten today.” You finally find it in yourself to shake your head ‘no’. You see her nod out of the corner of your eye.
“Alright let’s get some food in you okay? And then we’ll go from there.” She tells you, she had the protocol down pat now. Another thing you felt guilty for. You’re her girlfriend for god sake not a fucking patient, she shouldn’t have to come home and have to take care of more people, you should be taking care of her yet here you are.
“Nuh uh nope, don’t even finish that thought I know where that beautiful brain is going. Look at me please baby?” She asks, her voice so soft and gentle. A tone that’s reserved for you and you only.
You let your eyes fall shut for a moment before you take a deep breath and turn your head. You open your eyes and meet Abby’s worried blue eyes.
“There’s my girl” she says with a smile and you try to give her some type of smile in return but it comes out as more of a grimace.
“Listen to me. I love you, you are my everything and I want to be here for you when you need me. It’s not some burden or some task okay? It’s taking care of the woman I love and I will do that till my last breath.” Abby tells you, her words full of conviction and honesty.
You feel the tears burning behind your eyes, your vision swims as tears begin to gather. Her words set you over the edge and in seconds you’re clinging to Abby as your body rocks with sobs. You just needed her right now, you needed to be in her arms, you needed her to fight off the dark thoughts clouding your brain.
“Oh honey” she coos as she holds your trembling body close to hers, you’re practically on her lap at this point. You sob into her shoulder, your tears making marks against the soft fabric of her shirt. She gently rubs your back and rocks you as you let out the emotions that have been building for days.
You don’t know how long as passed, could have been 15 minutes could have been 45. Slowly your breathing starts to regulate and the onslaught of tears have become little sniffles as Abby continues to rub your back and whispering sweet nothings as you finally gather yourself. You take a deep breath and inhale the scent that is purely Abby. Feeling the comforting warmth of her body and the scent that you’ve come to relate to love has calmed you down significantly.
She kisses your forehead before she hands you a tissue. You wipe your eyes and you blow your nose.
“I’m such a mess I’m sorry” you hoarsely apologize
“Nonsense you’re perfect”
You’re about to open your mouth and say something but she stops you before you can.
“I will not take any disagreement. You are absolutely perfect and I will spend the rest of today, tomorrow, and everyday after that proving it to you.” She says as she wraps her arms around you in a bear hug, pressing little kisses all over your face.
“How about this we get some food in you, take a shower, get you changed into some new pajamas and then we’ll sit down and watch a movie. How does that sound?
A small part of you wanted to disagree and keeping rotting in bed but a bigger part of you wanted-no needed that.
You nod your head, “yeah that sounds really nice” you softly say your voice still a bit hoarse from disuse.
Abby stands with you in her arms as she walks to the kitchen and sets you down on the counter as some makes an early dinner for the both of you. She talks about her day and manages to get a few chuckles out of you which she considers to be a win. Once food is eaten she fills up your water bottle and sets it on the bedside table.
She gets the shower ready and once you’re in she strips off her clothes and follows in behind you. She washes your hair for you and run the washcloth over your body as she tells you how much she loves your body, every single part your insecure of she have at least 20 nice things to say. The moment is not sexual but extremely intimate, the love she has for you is outpouring. Her kind words bring kinder thoughts to your mind as she showers every inch of you in praise.
After the shower you’ve changed in her your shirt and a pair a sweatpants, your sitting on the couch snuggled into Abby while a comfort movie plays on the tv. You can feel some of the coldness melt away, the dark bitterness of your mind slowly brightening as Abby showers you with love and makes sure you know just how loved you are. The depression will never 100% be gone, this is something that you will forever deal with. You have your good days and you have bad days like today but it seems almost doable with Abby by your side.
“I know you didn’t sign up for this but thank you. I wouldn’t want to have to go through this alone.” You tell her honestly
“Baby I signed up for this” she says as she turns her head to look away from the movie to look at you, her eyes meeting yours. So much love was held in those blue eyes you almost had to look away.
“I signed up for the good, bad, and everything in between. I signed up to be with you and I want everything that comes with it. This is something we’ll shoulder together. For better or for worse.” She smiles as she links her pinky with yours.
“We’re not even married.”
“Not yet we aren’t.” She says as she pressed a kiss to her head.
“You don’t have to thank me for being here for you, alright?” She brings your hand to her lips and she presses a gentle kiss to the back of it.
“I want every part of you, good and the bad.
“The good and the bad” you softly repeat after her with a small smile on your lips, the first smile she’s seen from you all day.
Once she sees the smile on your lips she leans down to gently capture your lips with hers. The kiss soft and full of love as she pulls away she has a soft smile of her own.
“Better or for worse” she whispers against your lips as she leans in for another kiss.
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A/N: hope you all enjoyed this. Everyone has a different experience with depression with this is used my own experience and struggles but it’s different for everyone. If you are struggling please know that you do not deserve to struggle alone. There is help out there and my dms are always open if you need to talk. Remember to take stay hydrated and take your meds, and as always love y’all💖
Dividers are by @cafekitsune
Pictures are from Pinterest
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grmpgm · 1 month
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ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually
#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can#i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed#i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline#my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up#and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf#it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do#it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time#kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly#it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly#it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person#it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional#worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses#it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better#and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL
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babyfairy · 10 months
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i need more friends
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gregmarriage · 5 days
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this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao
not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs
#me when i lie#it always comes round to june and i’m always single and it’s quite honestly homophobic#imaooooo nah it’s not that deep i’m just coming on my period hehe x#literally keep saying the same thing about relationships#like i shouldn’t get into one just because i’m lonely#and rush things and completely blow up my life on impulse#but i don’t know any other way#need to learn to take it slow and *actually* take it slow#because the last time i “took it slow’’ it all went wrong#basically i want a relationship at some point but when all your relationships are the same#it really gets to you#and i keep thinking about (redacted) and how much i fucked it all up#but also like would we really have worked out?#if i’d actually believed everything she said would we be okay?#do i not have a life? or am i not allowing myself to have a life?#bc literally i think i’ve gotten so used to being on the floor that i’ve forgotten how to get up#and like if i really tried i could actually get what i want#and i know that sounds obvious but like bear with me#i’ve basically shoved myself into a deep dark hole and covered myself up with dirt and then forgotten i can dig myself out#i *can* be with someone seriously#like yeah it’s uncomfortable and scary and it means facing up to certain things that make my stomach hurt but i will never have a life if i#don’t do these things#i can’t allow myself to basically get pushed back into the closet#i can’t allow myself to be infantilised and treated like shit all the time#like even if i’m surviving purely via spite for a while it’s better than the alternative#instead of constantly talking about the same thing and how nothing ever changes i should actually change it#again obvious but i’m usually miles behind bc my brain… isn’t great is probably the kindest way i could put that#and that’s okay. like it’s hard but it’s okay#even if i’m living out my teenage years and doing the things i’d wished i’d done then at 25+ that’s fine#there’s a whole fucking world outside my bedroom door so maybe i should go actually see it?
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donnatroyyyy · 1 year
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Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.
#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father#but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage#years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be#robin Bruce wouldn’t want him#and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him#and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and#and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin#and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’#and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and#maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’#or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’#and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill#rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why#can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’#and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati#anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’#now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it#would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen#a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a#weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’#his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a#‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it#and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication#but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up#for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice#maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back#oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like#that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and#also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’#then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers
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knifesxedge · 3 days
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i’m going to kill myself
#delete later#why are people so mean. why is everything in the entire world so fucking hard.#work all fucking day eat my dinner in five minutes while driving to try and get to this fancy event my parents friends are throwing#meanwhile my parents and sisters are eating out at a fancy restaurant that i can’t go to with them because i have to work#and anytime i try to call to figure out where the fuck i’m going i either get ignored or dad picks up in the world’s loudest#restaurant environment and tells me to just call him when i get to stupid pike and rose#i get there. i call dad. he’s like why did you call me in this condescending ass tone like he didn’t tell me to call him when i get there#i say i’m going to park. i drive around the parking lot for twenty five minutes and every time i almost get a spot someone else takes it#then my dad calls me and of course my ringtone goes off screechingly loud and i’m crying because finding parking is so hard and some lady is#telling me through my window that i’m blocking the way for other people and i literally can’t take it anymore and snap like a twig#and scream WHAT? when i pick up the phone because i know dad is asking where the hell i am and i cannot deal right now#and dad starts screaming back at me and tells me i’m a bitch and not to talk to people like that and that he won’t be helping me anymore#with my brand new apartment that is a money vacuum if i talk to people that way and then hangs up on me#so now i’m. not going to the event because i can’t get in and no one wants me there.#and i dressed up and sped over from work and wasted gas all for nothing and i don’t want to be alone right now because otherwise i probably#will actually kill myself but none of my friends are picking up and i can’t reach my one friend to see if she wants to watch movies together#or something#and i’ve been sobbing in my car for about a half an hour. i just want to go home#but if i do i’ll probably kill myself. for real. so i don’t know what to do#i just want a hug. but nobody can give me one#i’m so so lonely living by myself but i don’t want to live with anyone other than my family#but they kicked me out of the house.#i’m not coping well with life at this point i guess. maybe i should just kill myself. it would be cheaper
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Oh my god. You know it’s getting bad when you start doing things you don’t even want to do to procrastinate on something you really do want to do.
It would be one thing if it were something like a hobby; but the thing I want to do is also extremely necessary to my life.
#Hhhhhhngh#for three weeks I’ve been doing this#I’ve had all the time in the world#and I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m doing this out of a subconscious desire to prove to myself that I’m actually fucked up in the head#Which is already proof enough that I have that desire in the first place; but I keep going because it’s not enough#I only ever feel like I need care when I’m at my absolute worst#And suddenly after being so exhausted that I fell asleep at 7:00 some days; I’m staying up until 2:30 AM and waking up at 8:00???#and I feel fine and perfectly awake; but still can’t manage to get myself out of bed until 10:00 because Comfy#I sit and I read for an hour; then I go on my phone and emerge at 5:00 PM#If I go in the bathroom it takes forever to get back out because I end up talking to myself in the mirror about god knows what#I feel like I need some kind of… idk… very strong stimulant in me so I can actually care about things#not that stimulants work like that; but I need to have some kind of catastrophic life event… to get beaten up or something#something to put pure fear and concern in my veins#It is summer and there is almost no chance of me getting kicked or catching a football in the wrong place#and I don’t have to run right now either#I could do something#I know how#But even that is a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation; because that ALSO makes me not want to do things#At least then I’d have a palpable (literally) excuse but uh…. I’m still kind of getting over the last time#I am on my phone all day and I recognize that’s bad; but the thing I need to do is to send an email… which is on my phone; so there’s that#hypocritical#idk there’s something about using limited supplies to deal with a problem that needs more and hoping for the best#it excites me#Makes me feel like a big boy who can handle serious situations#But if I create the problem then it means nothing except that I cannot handle problems at all#I should not have all the responsibilities I do because I am not entirely in my right mind#I am thinking about it though#It’s tempting#get behind me satan
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queenangella · 4 months
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sometimes working together on a thesis is like *she cant do her tasks because she’s busy with following classes I guess there’s really nothing else she does* me: oh its fine I get it I’m busy too sometimes you know if I can help you with anything let me know:)) vs. *I can’t do all my tasks on time bc well i work six days in a week and spend three nights a week doing volunteer work and oh because my thesis partner is apparently once again busy with following classes I guess she dumped all her work on my lap* she: oh you should tell me next time if you’re busy cause these tasks are really important :/ you shouldn’t like let them wait so long
#like yeah bitch I know they’re important that’s why I woke up early Monday morning to handle them but if you remember. I couldn’t cause you#did everything you were supposed to do wrong:)) and#then I skipped my lunch because that was the only time I could make free to fix it but couldn’t :)) bc apparently you didn’t even do it#wrong you just didn’t do it you copied it from someone else whose task wasn’t even remotely the same:)))#and like I get that following classes is important I get it but I literally looked up her schedule she’s got at least four half days a week#that she doesn’t have any classes. I’m making literally every minutes I have time to do these things and she can’t manage to make some time#in those four afternoons???? so she dumps them on my to do them all in the one day of the week I got free and have also other things to do#which forces me to literally not eat and sleep to be able to do them????????#I’m so pissed our meetings are literally like me: ‘oh yeah I’ve got an incredibly busy week but I’m sure if I just work longer in the#evening and sleep a little less then I can make an hour free every day to do these interviews’#she: ‘that’s great that you can make time for that! I can’t cause I’ve got a class somewhere that day so can you do like all the work??’#like if she’s gonna dump me for the statistical analysis I’m gonna literally destroy all the data in my wake good luck doing the actual work#all over again next year#sorry I’m probably overreacting#she’s not that bad but she also needs to shut up instead of criticising bc I’m not doing all the work fast enough while she’s ‘so busy’ all#the fucking time#at least I’m doing the fucking work
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digiditto · 4 months
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crying in the bathroom again. I’m so sick of this shit
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strohller27 · 7 months
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.
#i’ve been working through some stuff in my head#and I’ve realised that so much of my life I’ve occupied the spaces in-between#like I acheived certain things in my life because I was literally the only one who stepped up#but it was also like. I wasn’t the first choice for something I was always just what was available#or I tried to carve out something for myself and it ended up either being taken away from me or getting ruined somehow#like when I was in the pipe band I became drum major because I was literally the only drummer (not that anyone really liked me…#i was just. the only choice there was until someone else came along).#or when I moved up the ladder at the tutoring service it was during Covid and I had to work so much harder because#we just didn’t have a full team.#or when I had to do my undergraduate thesis by myself because also covid#and now having to do my research project basically 100% by myself because my advisor ‘‘can’t’’ advise me#(​except he can apparently write me some exam questions next semester)#idk I just feel like the extra frozen water on the side of the ice cube tray of life#and now I’m in Canada and I’m trying to make a place for myself#I want this to work out. I want to be able to solidify the life that I want without having to live on the fucking edge#I’m tired of staying in my ‘lane’ when my ‘lane’ has always been ‘standing on the side to let others pass’#Listen up queers I am allowed to take up space and I am occupying this part of the lane#if you don’t like it then you can make your own fucking lane#I’m just trying to make a life in this ridiculous precarious world I don’t want to have to play it safe anymore#I want to get into a PhD programme and study what I want to study#I want to meet someone I can trust with myself when I’m fragile and someone who trusts me with themself when they’re fragile#I want to live in a house I don’t have to worry about losing and make enough money to live comfortably#I want to stop merely surviving and start *living*#and I’m going to do everything in my power to achieve that
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