#writing necron sex is HARD but i think i did okay

[darthcatboy]

phillias and metek mashing deathmasks (and more) together from a future chapter of cassandra keeping this stashed in my wips was killing me so i am releasing it upon the world for enjoyers of lesbian robots

Phillias touched her faceplate to Metek's, finally letting herself slip her hand up underneath the cryptek's ribs. She heard something like a short-circuit in vocal actuators when she slipped her fingers into the controlled mess of wires and tubing. Her temperature sensors registered rising heat, an increase in voltage running across her necrodermis. All knowledge that gave her a sense of satisfaction. A tendril wrapped around her thigh and crept into the gap where leg met hip, suddenly throwing her into the reality of what she was doing. No, by the Dead Gods, I can't, she's a phaerakh's wife, she's Zepharati's wife. She drew her hand back slightly, fingers still barely beneath slender ribs. “Metek—” “Phillias,” Metek purred, a deep vibration permeating her frame, running all the way to the end of the tendrils she was slowly wrapping her partner up in. “You asked me first.” The resonance of the vibration shot a neural impulse straight through her willpower. Phillias unclasped the cryptek's cloak, letting it fall to the floor with a clatter of tiles, grabbing her hip with her unoccupied hand and pressing her hard against the wall. She pushed her leg up underneath the skirt of tendrils and ritual tiles, finally finding the plate of metal she wanted. Metek squirmed against her thigh, control having shifted back to the executioner's hands. If she still had a tongue to shove into her mouth, she would have. But she would have to make do with slipping her fingers up and into the purple glow of her internals, sneaking up toward her reactor. Metek felt the touch deep inside her, familiar and yet oh, so different. Phillias’ fingers weren't as slim as Zepharati's. Her invading voltage was higher, transferring to her faster, arcing along neural circuits and carefully braided cable at a breakneck pace. Like desperation. Vocal actuators ceased proper function, leaving her responses to the overwhelming sensation as cracked and garbled fragments of words, laced with static. Phillias shifted her head, pressing her faceplate against Metek's neck, feeling the rush of electricity and regulatory fluids as temperature fluctuation impulses. She felt the necrodermis beneath her fingers start to soften, flowing around them like black sand. “Lady Regent, is this alright?” “Ye-ye-yes,” Metek choked out through a cloud of static, her vocal processors still in active malfunction. “Only if I ca-can do this.” She activated one of her hard light emitters in a flash of violet, creating a construct to fit perfectly against Phillias’ pelvic plate, immediately coaxing it into a malleable state. The voltage transfer skipped a step. Just a moment's hesitation. Metek's monocular glowed brighter, the electric jolt quickly translating to data. Delicious lines of code that told her exactly what to do. She wove the light up through her partner's necrodermis, snaking between nanomolecular gaps in the material. Phillias had never felt something like this before. She looked at her arm, now a meld of bronze and blinding violet light. But the light show was nothing compared to the sensation of being fully permeated by Metek's energy. A curse fizzled out before it could be formed, her own vocal actuators starting to give up in the face of catastrophic power feedback. For a moment, she thought she might be dying, alerts of overwhelmed systems flashing in her vision, warnings of overheating and imminent emergency resets, and she almost pushed the cryptek away. Of course, a more logical idea pushed that panic away, that this was simply how her body processed pleasure like this now. The purple light crept further and further up, taking over more and more of her vision. And she let it take her.

[ghostinthegallery]

I can't believe The Silence and the Storm is over a year old! The first anniversary was May 27th (yes I missed my own fic's birthday in my defense I was traveling and forgot how time works).

I'm trying to compose my thoughts because this sure feels like a time a blog post would be fitting. However, my engrams are scrambled because...wow do I have too many feelings.

As some background, I've been a writer for a long time. And I've written 3-5 books (depends on how you count "completing" a book but it's 5 full drafts, 3 of which were heavily edited). I wanted to be a trade published writer (still do) and for a while I was feeling good about my chances! I got lucky and received some wonderful professional mentorship (and met one of my best friends during that program!). I took that guidance to query agents (a necessary step for access to most big/medium US publishers). I knew it would be hard and take time but...4 years later all I have to show are a few requests, hundreds of rejections, and one agent who asked me to rewrite my entire book only to reject me anyway (me, bitter? No not at all nooooo).

I'm a creative person and sharing my work feels like sharing a part of myself. Something that is not easy for me to do. After a while I just assumed I was missing something necessary. My work didn't resonate, but I didn't know how to fix it. I’d never reach anyone in the way I so desperately craved, and it was my fault for not being good enough. I felt broken.

During one of many major depressive episodes my spouse bought me a copy of The Infinite and the Divine. That book has changed my life. I was never much of a fanfic writer before. Either I thought the original work was too good and I didn't think I had anything to add or it was too bad so why would I bother with it when I could just go read/watch something better? 40k inspired me though. The ideas are incredible but underutilized enough that I felt like I had something to add.

So I started writing necron fic because why not? There wasn’t enough for me to read, and I needed more robot stories. Maybe I could rediscover my love of the craft, make some friends, make some robots kiss. Distract my mind from the horrors. So I posted a little OC fic and actually got some nice comments. Hey! Positive reinforcement! Hadn't had that in a while.

Emboldened, I continued in the most normal way possible. Going from a 7 chapter OC story to a giant civil war epic including every named necron character I could find with 6 (then 7...then 9) POVs. It was the type of grand space opera I've always wanted to write but never did because I didn’t think I had the skill and it's harder to sell. Luckily AO3 is free. Ain't no playing to the market there!

Now, a 40k necron civil war space opera is...niche. So I wasn't expecting much. I would have been happy with some kudos, some comments. Fan art felt like a pipe dream, but what are writers if not dreamers? The main goal was to enjoy myself. It was low pressure fun, I love the characters, what could go wrong?

Nothing, but I was wholely unprepared for things to go as right as they did. Y’all have been amazing. So many great comments and ideas exchanged, gorgeous art, fun asks, a lot of screaming (it’s fine probably don’t worry). I’ve never had such a strong outpouring of support for my work. It feels incredible. But also sometimes confusing. I’ve trained myself so well to handle rejection that I kind of forgot how to handle acceptance. Especially for something so personal. This is a weird story about undead space robots, there’s a lot of politics, sometimes the robots have sex. It’s got out there head canons, and 99% of the tyranid parts are pulled out of my ass because nobody knows how the space bugs work okay. My weirdness being embraced on this scale is one of the greatest feelings of my life. But it’s also new, and way out of my comfort zone. I’m being seen and adjusting to that.

Still, writing in this space has been one of the most consistently joyful things in my life for…well, over a year now! It’s changed how I view my art. I actually can create stories that touch people and make them feel things. I can take risks and have them pay off. I know not everyone will love this, but some people really seem to love it. That is mind blowing to me.

It’s making me reassess a lot about how I approach my art. Writing and other. I still plan to pursue publication. I want to get paid for my work, but this is making me consider alternate paths that might fit my style (and psyche) better. I don’t know what the future holds, but if you’d told me a year and a half ago that a big part of it would hinge on an AO3 gay robot skeleton space opera…I would have thought you were nuts, but also hoped you were right because that sounds rad as hell.

So in conclusion, thank you all so much for reading <3

[xmydaysinmilanx]

1 to 75 because why not xd

1. First console you’ve ever owned? PS12. First game you played? Possibly Tekken or Spider-Man for the PS13. Favorite childhood game? I cannot choose one!4. Longest consecutive hours you’ve played a game? I honestly have no idea. Maybe 6 hours approx as I would have dinner and bathroom breaks etc. 5. Game with the best soundtrack? I adore the soundtrack of Final Fantasy X but I think the 13 series was composed beautifully.6. An underrated game from within the last few years? The Jak series. Jak 2 and 3 are excellent games.Think of a hard edged Spyro combined with Grand Theft Auto and you get Jak 2/3. 7. Most disappointing game you’ve played? Final Fantasy 12. The visuals are astounding but I could not take to it at all.8. The game with the best atmosphere/scenery? 7 has a lot of potential in the remake. X has beautiful scenery with plenty of places I’d like to visit in game. I adore Macalania Woods!9. Last game you played? FF XIII. 10. Prefer PC or console? Console, never owned a desktop.11. Have you written any fanfic or made any fanart? Fanfic ‘ideas’ yes but have not branched out into the writing world yet.12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played? Non strike me as being ‘bizarre.’ There are elements in FF 7 and 13 that are quite strange. Oh and Necron in FF9 - okay.13. Scariest game you’ve played? Abe’s Oddysee freaked me out, must say lol. 14. Do you watch playthroughs online? If I am really stuck on configuring strategy. 15. Favorite animal in a video game? Donald Duck, Kingdom Hearts series.16. The best year in gaming you’ve experienced? The 2001-2006 era. I was younger and so it feels more nostalgic. 17. Have a video game themed background or lockscreen? Of course.18. Worst game you’ve played? I find games such as Call of Duty quite the yawn fest.19. Hardest game you’ve ever played? Lightning Returns on normal mode is pretty challenging due to the time constraints. Also many of the enemies in XIII are tough nuts to crack. Not really sure though.20. Favorite publisher and/or developer? Square-Enix21. If you had to play one game for the rest of your life, what would it be? FF722. If you could turn one game into movie, which would it be? X would be an awesome film. 23. Favorite genre of video game? RPG24. Ever cried because of a video game? Which one(s)? Only one. The ending of XIII. Games do impact me emotionally but I just don’t necessarily cry over them.25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming? Training the golden chocobo in FF7, I managed to win a game of Blitzball (which I hate lol) ONCE by pure chance. Oh and Anima in X. I did pretty well in GTA Vice City come to think of it and I was only 12. 26. How often do you play online? Co-op? Never really played a game online but FF14 ARB intrigues me. 27. Have you gotten any friends into gaming? I do not believe so.28. Who got YOU into gaming? My mum’s boyfriend at the time introduced me to Spyro/Spider-Man games before gifting me X. I’ve been hooked since.29. Watch cutscenes or skip them? Watch unless it’s imperative to progress in the game. I’ll skip if I am re-doing a mission/boss and I can’t  be arsed to watch a scene over again. 30. On average, how long does it take you in the character creation screen? Very little time.31. Game with the best theme song? Kingdom Hearts Simple and Clean is a classic.32. Do you cosplay? I wish but I do not have the confidence.33. Favorite female npc? Maybe Yunalesca. Kinda hard to decide haha.34. Favorite male npc? Maybe Axel from the Kingdom Hearts series.35. Best protagonist? Cloud Strife although, it’s really hard to pick. I also admire Serah Farron and Lightning.36. Best antagonist? Sin/Jecht is pretty ‘up there’ isn’t he? I also love Sephiroth.37. Ever been made fun of for playing video games? Nope, only other things haha.38. Have you tried a game, hated it, then tried again, and loved it? FF XIII really bored me then I tried again a year down the line and have loved it since.39. Do you play for achievements/trophies? Nope.40. Favorite voice actor? David Gallagher (Riku), Adam Croasdell (Ignis), 41. Gone to a midnight release before? Nope.42. A game you will never forget (in a bad OR good way)? FF7.43. Favorite sidekick or companion? Ignis44. Do graphics matter? Nope.45. Do you like funny or more serious games? Elements of comedy and seriousness in one. 46. Always, sometimes, or never use subtitles? They’re always on.47. First person or Third person? Third.48. A game you’ve always wanted to play but have never gotten to it? FF14 A Realm Reborn. Oh, also World of Final Fantasy and some DLC’s for XIII-2.49. A game you haven’t played in forever, but want to replay? 7 but I always hold it off because I want my experience to be magical each time.51. First character you’ve had a crush on? Tidus.52. A game you will always stand behind, and support no matter what? FFXIII and 13-2.53. Your most immersive game? Eh none of note.54. A sequel you really want? FFXV-2 >_> Ignis as lead!55. How much time, on average, do you play in a week? Depends, sometimes none at all sometimes an hour or two 6 days a week lol56. Do you tell people irl that you play video games? Yep57. What is an overrated game you’ve played? FF8/FF9/FIFA/COD58. Ever have someone walk in on a sex scene between you and you LI? Nope59. A game you are looking forward to this year? Not sure if they’re out this year but KH3 and FF7 Remake!60. The game you are best at? Fairly good at X and 7.61. A game you know everything about? FFX/7/13/13-2/KH1/KH262. Would you want to work with video games when you are older? Voice acting lol63. What’s a game that has inspired you? They all have in their own way64. Describe your favorite video game using only three words? Nostalgic, Intriguing, Haunting.65. Any favorite screenshots of games? Check my page haha.66. Game with the yummiest looking food? FFXV - I’VE COME UP WITH A NEW RECIPEEEEHHH!67. Most violent game you’ve played? GTA lmao68. An older game that you’ve just recently gotten into? I’ve already played games over a decade old or more!69. Your first LI? Is it bad I am unsure what these initials stand for?70. Do you play any mobile games? Nah71. A game you can’t stop talking/thinking about at the moment? FFXV72. Have any guilty pleasure games? Not really guilty pleasures lol73. A game with the best fandom? FFXV and KH or sure74. Which game has the best lore? X75. Do you focus on main storyline/quest or do sidequests first?  I do all.