fanfic: a family wedding
here i am, out of a 5-year retirement, back on my bullshit. a new offering, from a new fandom. enjoy:
wynonna earp/wayhaught. Waverly and Nicole's wedding turns everyone into a bridezilla. Complete. Read on AO3.
i.
Waverly rubs her temples. She wanted a quiet night in, to watch some RuPaul and hopefully later spend long moments sitting on Nicole's face.
The house has been full of people for the last three weeks, bustling with activity and constant bickering.
Nicole rubs Waverly's back and kisses just beneath her ear. It makes it a little better. "It's time for the contingency plan, baby."
Waverly sighs. "Why does everyone have to be..." She searches for the right words. "Like this?" She gestures around, defeated.
"I am the best cowboy!" Doc grunts, pushing past Mercedes. "I won't be made to wear a tux!"
"We're not all from the Old West, old man." Jeremy stands by Mercedes’s side, who gives her best I am always right smile. "We have to be color-coordinated!"
"You can go dressed as a magic elephant, for all I care." He sips his whiskey.
This is why she can't have nice things.
Nicole squeezes Waverly's shoulder. "You're a planner, aren't you?" She gives her that little adorable smile. "So let's plan our wedding. Make it amazing."
Wynonna arrives with cheap booze and Shorty's chicken wings. "Anyone want to try wedding samples?" She settles them on the table with a loud thud
No no no nononono—
"Enough!" Waverly stands up, stomps her foot on the ground, and claps her hands. "Everyone sit down!"
It shocks everyone enough and the house falls silent.
"Yes, baby girl?" Wynonna smiles pretty, like she's doesn't always have a fire burning under her ass.
“The madness stops now." Waverly walks to the cupboard and takes the bright pink folder she's been hiding for two whole days and nights. "It's my wedding." Her gaze softens when it meets Nicole, who winks at her.
"I'm going to lay some ground rules." She takes several papers and passes them around. "I have assigned you each a role in this mess."
Everyone starts reading, nodding, flipping through pages. They are taking it much better than Waverly imagined.
"You have our wishes and specific deadlines for each task." She looks at each of the lunatics in their eyes. "You'll stick to your role, and you won't make final decisions without me or Nicole present. Understood?"
They nod.
Nicole gets up from the couch to stand by Waverly's side, a comforting hand on the small of her back. "We have three months. Can we count on you?"
The entire house rumbles with cheer.
"A round of shots for everybody!" Wynonna shouts before rushing to grab the glasses.
It takes no time for everyone to be comparing assignments.
Nicole pulls Waverly aside and whispers in her ear. "That was so hot, baby."
"You liked it?" Waverly bites her lower lip, grabbing Nicole's shirt to pull her even closer. "I've saved the best for later."
Nicole smiles, that handsome devil, arms around Waverly, and leans for a wet, dirty kiss.
—
Nicole called it saving costs, but Waverly calls it porn:
A white tank top, dirty and clinging to her body, tight jeans, brown boots, drops of sweat on her glorious, exposed, lean, muscled back.
Power tools, gloves, woodwork? In the middle of her front lawn?
"I know." Wynonna shows up by Waverly's side, leaning against the door frame, and stares.
Doc, sexy if mustaches and Old West are your things, is cutting wood, black tank top, rough jeans, black boots, grunting in concentration.
"Oh yes," Waverly nods, half a glass of lemonade forgotten on her right hand. "I love a good DIY project."
Nicole is setting up the frame of the structure, drilling holes, and what else. She looks back and smiles, much like that first day on Shorty's.
Waverly gnaws her straw, short of breath.
-
Doc cleans his forehead. "I'm going to the store to get more supplies."
Waverly shows up, hair down and big, big smile. "Lemonade?" She offers the tray.
He takes a glass and Nicole settles down her tools with a content sigh, hair sticking to the back of her neck.
Waverly salivates as she extends her tray to her future wife.
One thing you can say about Doc is the man can read a room. He looks between the both of them before tipping his head as a thank you. "Be back later."
"Maybe you want to come inside and rest, after all your..." Waverly squeezes Nicole's arm," hard work?"
Nicole smiles, dimple and all, and takes a few steps closer. She smells like wood, grass, and vanilla. "There's a lot to do. We only have a few weeks."
Waverly looks up into Nicole's eyes. Grabbing her belt, she sneaks a few fingers between Nicole's jeans and her glorious warm skin. "Resting is so important when you work this hard, baby."
"You're not wrong."
Waverly, so coy and innocent, blinks and pulls them inside.
In appreciation, she waits for Nicole to finish her drink to only then go down on her on the kitchen table. 35 minutes later, she comes back for air and cleans her face with the back of her hand.
Now that's refreshing.
-
Mercedes, in a long white dress, looks every part like the socialite she is.
"This is unacceptable!" She shows her scary vampire teeth, and the poor catering people retreat two to seven steps. "Being vegan is not an excuse to serve us this rotten, tasteless..." Her mouth contorts, incapable of finishing the sentence.
Waverly opens her mouth to defend the catering, because what you'd expect from a small-town, backyard company — Mercedes lifts a commanding finger and grabs her phone.
Nicole, all parts, hero and sexy beast, places an arm on Waverly's shoulders, and whispers: "Let her do her thing, baby."
Every hair on Waverly's body stands. That's very convincing.
"Marco?" Mercedes smiles and tucks a strand of her behind her ear, vampire teeth concealed. "Yes, so long." She chuckles. "I know. Where's Ibiza when we need it?"
Looking at her own pristine, manicured nails, she sighs. "Listen, I need a favor. I'm organizing a wedding, and you know how food is essential to having a good time. But I can't seem to find good service in this town." She punishes the employees with a cold, cold glare.
"I was wondering if you could spare me Giovanni for a few days, so he can take charge." She smiles, nails running on the table. "I still remember that banquet in 2014, don't you?" She offers the wedding info and hangs up.
Waverly tilts her head.
She looks back to the catering employees and offers a plastic smile. "There you go. You will have a new boss."
Nicole clears her throat. "Excuse me?"
"My taste buds need something of a certain level, Nicole." Mercedes puts her phone on her Prada leather purse. "And you both deserve to know what good food is. Giovanni will take care of the menu, the supplies, and he will be here to avoid a succession of inevitable disasters."
Waverly leans forward. "Who's Giovanni, again?"
"A personal friend, an underwear model, and a rising star in Italy's high dining scene. Just opened his first franchise in New York, so. Right by our side. Lucky for us!"
New York City isn't exactly a short drive away, but Waverly isn't going to tell Mercedes that. Neither was Giovanni.
-
Thirteen dresses later, Waverly finds the one.
The store lights bathe her in the spotlight, with the seamstress fussing over the hem of the dress — flowing, pearl white, structured but still fluid when Waverly spins around.
She turns to Wynonna and makes a pose.
"Baby girl, you look..." Wynonna looks at her like she's everything, eyes already watery. "Perfect."
Waverly beams, cheeks flushed, heart racing. This is it.
She's going to marry the love of her life in this dress.
After everything. Despite everything. She's going to marry the love of her life.
She tries a delicate, golden necklace on. It shines under the gentle dressing room lights.
Even better. She touches it with the tips of her fingers. "I can't believe it."
Wynonna coughs, smirk back to her face. "Nicole’s panties are going to combust as soon as she sees you."
Waverly slaps her sister's arm. "Wynonna!"
She will, though. She totally will.
And Waverly is not going to be using any underwear, so.
Good luck to Nicole in dealing with that information.
-
The demon bar is closed, with only a few employees restocking on the back, under neon lights.
Rosita, cigar on one hand and whiskey neat on the other, raises her eyebrows and smiles as Waverly approaches with a pie.
"Peace offering?" She sets her drink on the table as a beautiful bartender drapes herself around her, a hand on her bare chest under her blazer.
Waverly focuses on Rosita's dark eyes. She will not stare at that gratuitous PDA nor the bartender sucking on Rosita's earlobe.
Rosita smirks and pulls the pie closer. "Smells good."
"There's more." Waverly takes a top-tier, aged whiskey bottle from her purse and places it on the table.
Rosita's eyes shine — she opens immediately and takes a sip. "That's the good stuff. Gonna save it for a special occasion." She leans back on her seat. "But my birthday is not in four months."
For a breath, Waverly hesitates. "My wedding is next weekend."
"I've got the invitation. Beautiful lettering."
The bartender leaves, looking at Waverly from head to toe and making her squirmish.
She clears her throat. "Can I trust there will be no supernatural shenanigans? For a whole weekend?"
Rosita looks at her, kinder than a moment ago, and finishes her drink. "I own you that, at least." She stretches her empty glass to the side and the bartender pops up with another, touch lingering before leaving.
The woman is living in her customized heaven.
She turns back to Waverly. "To be fair, Doc has already a. showed up with two shiny guns and b. chose a few demons for security. It's all settled."
Waverly's eyes widen. "He what?"
"You know he's a worrier, darling." Rosita takes a puff of her cigar. "Do you mind if I wear red? I've been meaning to ask you."
Waverly rolls her eyes. "Wear whatever you want. As long as you stay out of trouble."
Rosita pouts her pretty, full red lips. "Me? Trouble?" She purrs, full of mischief. "Never."
-
Jeremy shines when he has goals and deadlines.
He begins his Powerpoint presentation about the wedding, running decisions, costs, and purveyors.
"It's your wet dream, baby," Nicole laughs when he opens a detailed excel sheet.
"Oh, hush, you," Waverly nudges her to-be wife and shuts her up with a kiss. "Continue, Jeremy. You're perfect the way you are."
He’s dumping even more information when Waverly notices something. "Wait." She scoots closer to the computer screen. "My first rough budgets were at least two times what you're showing us."
"See, uh, the numbers," Jeremy stops, mumbles something, stops again.
Nicole raises an eyebrow. "Jeremy."
He gives them a sheepish smile. "Everyone wanted to chip in."
Nicole blinks, frozen. "What?"
"It was supposed to be a kind of a secret?" He gives them a weird chuckle. "But my graphs were so nice, and I thought Waverly would want to see them, and... now we're here."
"Everyone wanted to chip in," Waverly repeats, dumbstruck.
"Yeah, uh, Wynonna is paying for your dress, Doc and Nedley are taking over half of the booze budget, Mercedes said she had a special deal with some Giovanni man about the food, and I don't have much but there's enough for some of the flowers, and Contessa sent me a check, and then..."
"That's... very nice of you." Nicole pulls Jeremy for a hug. "All of you." Waverly follows them into a group hug.
Jeremy sinks into their embrace, relieved. "You should start this new chapter without debt."
Silly, silly people. Waverly sniffs. She's not crying.
-
Doc's scrubbing, sanding, and painting the fences. He smiles somewhere under his mustache when Waverly arrives. "Afternoon."
He's been fixing the property every day, and it shows.
"It's looking great, Doc." Waverly can't help but grin.
"Everything for our girls," he answers, never stopping his work. It's different, being taken care of.
Waverly looks at her own feet for a moment. That gets Doc to pause. "You didn't have to talk to Rosita."
"I know." He nods. "I'm sorry if I overstepped. I wanted to make sure everyone would be safe and focused on celebrating." A long pause. "We had enough suffering already."
"You didn't have to do that," Waverly says quietly. "Thank you."
-
Waverly enjoys a moment of peace on the couch, cuddling against Nicole as they each read a book.
Rachel walks in circles in the living room, white earphones over her ear, until she screams, "I GOT IT!"
Waverly enjoyed a moment of peace, that is. She closes her book, followed suit by Nicole. "Yes, Rachel?"
"Listen, a two-day ceremony is not easy, okay?" Rachel gesticulates. "There are so many moments, the music has fit the mood. So I made four different playlists."
Nicole pulls Waverly to her lap, equal parts gratuitous and welcome. Waverly rests her side against her fiancée, hand playing with gorgeous, silky red hair.
The closer they are to the wedding, the harder it becomes to stay away. She wants to be touching Nicole all the time, every time.
Rachel clears her throat. "You do make The Notebook look bleak."
They both smile, turning their attention to their unpaid DJ.
"Back to business!" Rachel sits by their side and shows her phone screen. "There are four playlists. I call them: Drunk in Love, Let's Get That Party Started, Soft Rock for Old People, and Live, Laugh, Love. Each lasts several hours."
Nicole nods, impressed. "I hope there's plenty of throwbacks."
"Yeah yeah," Rachel waves. "Plenty of the 90s and 2000s for old people do their old people dances." Her face turns very serious. "No Macarena. I have standards."
Waverly smiles.
-
They decide to get ready at Nicole's because they need a moment.
Waverly leaves the bathroom in a tight, golden dress that doesn't quite reach half her thighs.
Nicole, sitting on the edge of the bed, puts her phone aside. "Nedley says everything's going well and we should—" She looks at Waverly and stops dead in her tracks. "Oh. Baby."
"We should?" Waverly takes a few steps towards her high heels, putting her earring on.
"Baby." Is Nicole... breathless? Waverly turns to look at her future wife in slack pants and dress shirt still undone, sexy lace lingerie. A vision.
Nicole's lips part open, chest rising and falling quickly. "You're a vision."
Waverly dismisses her with a wave and a smile, face turning hot. "I haven't even finished my makeup."
Nicole gets very close, very fast. "We're going to be late."
We still have half an hour, and we're almost ready—" Waverly frowns.
Nicole pushes her against the dresser, bodies in full contact, lips grazing Waverly's. "We're going to be late," she says, voice dropping an octave, hand on the back of Waverly's neck.
Waverly's breath catches on her throat.
Oh.
She places one hand on Nicole's chest, licking her lips. "Nicole..."
"You're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen." She grabs the back of Waverly's thighs, and soon Waverly is sitting on the dresser, legs spread open. "I need to have a taste." She joins their lips in a slow, wet kiss. "I promise I won't ruin your makeup too much."
Heart pounding wild, Waverly lets out a shaky breath. "Take off your shirt. I wouldn't want it to get wrinkled."
Nicole obeys.
-
Waverly and Nicole walk into Shorty's, arms linked and sway on their hips. A pair of retired demon bartenders offer champagne, and they each take one.
The crew cleaned up the place nicely for the rehearsal dinner. There's a giant table in the middle of the room, candles all around, soft music playing on the speakers.
This is where it all began. This is where they would come together as a family before the big day.
They take their seats, Nicole's arm resting on the back of Waverly's chair. Her shirt is two buttons open too sexy.
Waverly stares like she hasn't spent the last hour kissing, biting, and licking those wonderful assets. Can anyone tell Waverly came two times in Nicole's car before arriving?
Wynonna looks at them with a very particular smile, eyebrows wobbling.
Yes, they can.
Nedley raises his glass. "Let the feast begin!"
The bartenders arrive in a choreography of endless drinks and trays of food.
It's lovely, and Waverly's heart could explode.
-
Belly full, head dizzy, Waverly looks at Nicole, who's talking to Wynonna like old pals.
She lays her head on Nicole's shoulder and her very nearly wife turns to kiss Waverly's head before returning to the conversation.
How did she manage to find someone like this? How does someone get that lucky?
Doc stands up, charming in his modern cowboy look. He clinks his glass. "It's time for a toast." Oh, man. Everyone falls silent, eyes darting between Doc and the couple.
"Waverly, you're sweet as a summer peach. You're the heart of this ragged group of outsiders." A lengthy round of claps. "Nicole, you have some gut. You're not afraid to stand up for creatures much stronger than you and fifteen times as dangerous. You could have a quiet life, and still, you chose us. You're out of your mind."
They laugh and toast together. "To insanity!"
Nedley clears his throat. All eyes go to him. "Nicole, I'm so proud of the woman you've become and the family you made for yourself." He says it slow, gentle, measuring his words. "Waverly, you found yourself a good one. Every bit good and sweet as you are. You both deserve all the happiness in the world. Marriage is a wild ride and life can be tough: good luck."
Waverly nods and toasts with him, holding back tears.
"I made, uh, a quick chat about—" Jeremy begins before Wynonna boos and throws a grape in his direction. "Tough crowd," he says, standing up and getting a laugh out of most people. "Seriously, though. As the wedding planner, social media manager, and chapel coordinator..." He pauses and looks around. "Which are three of the most important jobs," he raises a finger and ignores Doc's huffing by his side. "Thank you for letting me live vicariously through you both. You are the gay unicorns. Thank you for not dying, several times."
Another toast! Can Waverly even hold this much alcohol? She giggles.
Wynonna stands up: tight black dress, plenty of cleavage and gun strapped to her thigh and whiskey on her hand. "Nicole, thank you for making my baby sister happy." She locks eyes with Waverly, so soft and content. Waverly smiles and squeezes Nicole's arm. "We've been to hell and back. We learned to like each other, even though you're a goody-two-shoes who fucked my sister on every surface available on my house." The whole table laughs; Waverly hides her face on the crook of Nicole's neck. "Oh yes, Sheriff, I know. I wish I didn't. One more reason I need therapy." More laughs. She raises her glass. "Thank you for putting up with us."
The bartenders serve their shots. "To sound insulation!" Wynonna shouts.
Waverly downs her drink, feeling it burn on the back of her throat. Oh, Nicole will have to carry her home if they keep this up.
Downing two shots in close succession, Wynonna looks at Rachel and gestures with her head.
The girl gets up from her seat, orange juice on a champagne glass. "Marriage is totally a failed institution, but—" She fidgets with her dress. "If anyone can make it work, it's the two of you. It's gross, really." She gets a thunderous laugh from the others and gives a small smile. "To lesbian moms!"
Nicole raises her champagne glass.
-
Gunshots and people screaming.
Of course.
Wynonna, Doc, and Nicole jump immediately, retrieving their guns as they out the bar.
Waverly huffs, reflexes slow, and no gun anywhere near.
"Stop right there!" She can hear Nicole scream, already outside.
When she gets to the action, four demons are trying to rob a store. Great. Talk about trusting Rosita.
Nicole points Peacemaker at them. "If I were you, I'd listen to the Sheriff."
They growl, posture wobbly as if drunk or drugged on something. "Can't a demon have some fun in this town?"
A thunder falls, and a deep voice echoes. "What did I say?"
Waverly looks and approaching at a distance: Rosita, red overcoat, and hair flowing in the autumn wind. She's almost floating right above the ground, the definition of power.
"Not today, boys," she orders, with an easy command. "Not tomorrow. And not the day after that." She's already very close. "Is that too much to ask?"
She looks at the humans trapped inside and the doors open. "Get out." The young family scurries away, no questions asked.
She slaps the demons in quick succession. "It's like you can't take a fucking order." They try to fight, but Rosita is quicker, stronger, and doesn't take a single blow.
It's a beautiful one and a half minutes.
Wynonna breaks a smile, gun still pointed at the group. "You go, girlboss."
Rosita rolls her eyes, a high-heeled boot on a demon's throat, a hand on another's throat, as two lie on the floor, passed out. "I'm sorry about the disturbance. You may go back to your festivities."
Waverly feels a bit guilty. Maybe Rosita's not so bad.
"See you tomorrow." Rosita drags the demons back to wherever they came from.
Nicole shrugs and sets her gun back on its holster. "C'mon, baby. Night's still young."
Waverly takes her hand, tripping just a little on the walk back to Shorty’s.
By the end of the night, Nicole does carry her to bed, with a big glass of water and some aspirin.
-
Read chapter Two.
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The Truth (Earl Slater Introductory Drabble)
Series: Wynonna Earp
Disclaimer: Earl and the plot are mine while everything else is borrowed in this work of fan-made fiction off of which no money is made.
Setting: Season 1 Compliant
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (mentions of past abuse and highly suggested non-consensual cannibalism)
Bobo Del Rey has a heart-to-heart with Earl Slater about his past. The Revenant in question holds nothing back.
*~*~*~*
The Truth
“So, will you level with me?”
The question has the male snorting as he flips a burger. “You think I'm gonna have a problem talkin' bout myself? Really?”
“At this point, I've had a long week and I don't even know anymore what to expect from demons.”
“You know I'll be the first to tell you that my death was earned in the scope of the incident. I murdered a man. More than that; I murdered a marshal.”
“Well, that wasn't a smart move.”
Earl presses the patty down against the rack before remarking, “He ended my baby-sister's life being an abusive prick and I tried to go through the proper channels first. No one would even consider something like that. She was a suicide, they said. She'd been having some outbursts and was clearly going south.”
His jaw tightens a moment. “I tried to get her to file complaints but she was too afraid of him at that point. I told her to just come and stay with me and I would handle it but she wasn't willing to risk my safety. There were our other siblings to consider as well. And maybe she was just being too sensitive. Bobo Del Rey, I raised her from a three-year-old after our parents died. She was the baby of the family. And knowing that prick ended her life was unforgivable. So yeah, I tried making a fuss, tried everything that a decent man could do.
And when they flat-out refused to even consider it, I decided it wasn't worth being decent anymore. My two other siblings were happy, healthy, and didn't need me anymore which is why I decided to take matters into my own hands. He approached me first while I was at my butcher shop. I hadn't even planned it out yet but he made the choice for me. I wanted to ignore him, get an idea of what to do. But then he started talkin' 'bout my sister. About the night in question. About how no one was ever going to be able to pin it on him.
And I'll be honest; I got livid. But I still tried for sensible...until he pulled out his gun. Then I will admit it was over. The moment he slipped it from it's sheathe, I reacted without fully thinking about it and buried the meat cleaver I was holding right between his eyes before slamming it in deep with the tenderizer mallet I grabbed with my other hand. The thud he made I'll remember to this day.
It actually took the adrenaline and anger cooling for me to realize I'd just killed him. A marshal. While that had been my end goal; every thought and wish and prayer was in that direction, I hadn't realized how big of a thing this was. So I did the one thing I could; I handle him as a professional butcher and hid the parts in back hoping to get an idea of what to do with them.
Those same parts would be found a week or two later after the investigation started. I didn't even put up much of a fight at that point. It's an awful thing to take someone's life. More so when it's out of rage and hate. That's something that will stick to you no matter what the outerlaying reasons. Taking a life is not a joking matter.” He pauses a moment before remarking, “Though, I have to wonder if anyone who bought from me in that week before they realized I was a murderer, found the meat to taste differently.”
Bobo stills and stares at him before going, “Earl. Earl, you didn't!”
His lips curve into a sneer. “They were complacent in his actions just as much as his marshal friends. They deserved it.” As he watches the other Rev's eyes shift to the meat and he snorts. “Don't even concern yourself, brat. It's beef.”
“You sure?”
He points the spatula at the male. “Don't sass the cook, mister. You know how that ends. And besides, the whole point of me is to keep them from eating people. Not give a reason for doing it more. He was the only one I ever served others. And it wasn't enough for them to be suspicious that they hadn't gotten all the parts of him.” His lips curve. “Suppose it was cruel but again, at the time, I think I was angry enough not to care. Like I said, that was my baby sister. Hell, though, I'd have done it for any of the others, too. You do not mess with what's mine.”
“Hence why you hover and mother-hen everyone to death.”
“Well, you all make it easy because you are so bad at takin' care of yourselves.” He flips the burger again before continuing, “So there you have it. I murdered the bastard who abused my sister and ended her life. And I fed parts of him to the same people who didn't care enough to look into it. Wouldn't have gone so ill, I suppose, if he wasn't a marshal but those types...seemed to think that they were above even God in some places.”
“Please do not ever serve us any of the Revs that annoy you, Earl.”
His lips curve at that and he laughs before remarking, “Now, Del Rey, that would be an insult to good grilling to use bad meat.” He slides the burger to the side. “Was there anything else, you needed?”
“No, just wanted a bit of an idea of who you were under all that.”
“I raised my siblings when an accident took our parents, Del Rey. Those were my family and I was damn protective of them. Until I couldn't be. And at that point, you trust other people to feel the same if not more responsible especially when it comes to marriage. You do not break those vows and still get to claim yourself a good or decent man. You just don't.”
“No,” comes the agreement, “That is very right. Sorry if I dredged up too much of the past.”
“Ain't even that. You can't dredge up what doesn't quiet. Hell likes to remind you of the things that you didn't get or couldn't do, you know. The worst things. I can't really sleep at nights without remembering the sight of her laying like a broken doll. I hope that fucker got a worse version of hell than I did. Hope he was impaled on a pitchfork and slow-roasted.”
“We can only hope that those who wronged us paid but...as we've found out; justice sometimes is never meted out.”
“No, you are right about that,” Earl says before smiling warmly, “but know this, brat; ain't a question I won't answer to put your mind at ease. Ya should know that by now.”
“I'll keep that in mind. Thanks though. For the honesty. And hell, for keeping a leash on some of the more obstinate ones. I appreciate the help.”
“Ain't a problem. I don't mind lookin' after others. Prefer it as it gives me somethin' to do. So don't worry about me none, Bobo Del Rey. I'm on your side.”
“Which is a relief because you have a hell of a talent on the grill.”
“Oh, I know it.”
“And you have a hell of an ego, too.”
He grins at the other Revenant, eyes glinting, “Oh, I know that, too, brat. Now get on outta here and deal with the problem-children. You know they can't be left alone long.”
Bobo groans before muttering, “No, no they can't. Fucking Revenants.”
“Yes, well you are sort of fond of those as it were.”
“Earl, do us both a favor and don't ever tell them that. Then I'll never get rid of them.”
“Problem with that, as I know you are aware of, is we both know they know better.”
The grumbling reply which is nothing complimentary has him chuckling and adding, “Yeah, I know but you signed up for this when you took us all in. But again, I'm here to help so don't hesitate to let me do that. 'Tween us both we should be able to keep idiocies to a minimum. Hopefully.”
“Not sure that's a thing around here. Especially in a town called Purgatory.”
“Optimism then if you're not going to have hope.”
“At this point, I'd rather have whiskey.”
Earl can't help laughing and murmuring, “Don't really blame you there.”
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