#ya'll this was a deLIGHT LMFAO

[generalsmemories]

hello jing yuan's wife!! congrats on 1k followers! you very much deserved it 😊 may i please request for jing yuan with angst scenario #5? thank you in advance!

Stubbornness

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ prompt used: needing to go to an event after a party and having to pretend as if they aren’t angry with one another the entire time || 1k event

✧ contents: established relationship, hurt/comfort, alcohol consumption, arguments cause yeehaw, however happy ending cause they are functioning adults, mentions of other characters

✧ a/n: the amount of times ya'll have called me jing yuan's wife at this point HAHAH. anyway! first drabble to kickstart the 1k event is a sort of angsty one because why not but ya'll remember that one book where the sanctus medicus had 5 operations to try and get rid of jing yuan? yeah have that back in mind. - also not beta-read but who is surprised at this point LMFAO

"... You could've died."

Jing Yuan snorts, adjusting the bracers on his forearms without even sparing you a glance, "But I'm here right now breathing, aren't I?" he quips back instead, almost sounding amused at your worry.

It infuriates you. It baffles you how little he truly cared about the situation and at the severity of it. The hair you had for once tried to style already messy by the amount of times you've ran a hand through it out of stress or frustration the past two hours.

You're so glad you made Yanqing leave earlier to assist where it was necessary.

"Do you honestly see this as a mere joke, Jing Yuan?" you sneer, arms crossed whilst leaning one side against the doorframe. He must already know what you're referring to, being that you had finally opened the report handed to you from today - a report telling that there was yet another attempt on his life.

Another attempt that he didn't want to tell you about.

"Quite the contrary," he says, turning around to finally face you. His smile is still present on his lips which only serves to make you more agitated, "Nothing happened as you can see, and I'm perfectly fine. As such I didn't see the need to tell you about it because nothing happened. I wasn't even at the Artisanship Commission like they thought-"

"Because you got delayed."

He sighs, crossing his arms as well and cocking his head to the side, "Dear, with the amount you're worrying about me it makes me believe you have no trust in my capabilities to protect myself. Am I right to assume that?" he questions, his smile fading a bit after he had asked.

"Where the hell did you even get that from- Can I not worry about my lovers safety even when I'm aware of his swordmanship?" you ask, clicking your tongue whilst running yet another hand through your strands.

"And I'm telling you that it is a needless worry-"

"You're fucking unbelievable," you scoff, turning around to head for the entrance of your home, Jing Yuan quirking an eyebrow at your retreating form, "Oh? You're not going to nag at me further?" he asks, his tone may be lighthearted, but even you can pick out the slight bite it has to it.

"Even looking at you right now makes me want to punch you. The fact that you can't even see where I'm coming from is unbelievable enough, so fine! I won't worry more about our dear general," you bite back, slamming the door shut once you're at the other side.

You can come up with an excuse as to why the two of you arrive separately - it wouldn't be the first time after all.

"You must be quite delighted that the expedition finished earlier than planned, right [Name]?" Master Gongshu asks, handing you a glass and immediately clinking his own against it before taking a sip, "Even the tiny lieutenant made more of a name to himself out there."

You snicker, swirling the contents of the drink before you, stealing a brief glance over at Jing Yuan who is surrounded himself, "Indeed, I'm quite relieved to see him and Yanqing safely return to the Luofu."

Even though there was immediately another attempt on his life the moment he stepped one foot back onboard.

"But say, aren't you a bit saddened that the general haven't been by your side as much today? He's practically surrounded by the other commissioners and knights," master Gongshu points out, to which you only shake your head, "Why of course not, as long as I know that my husband is safe - I wouldn't have to worry about anything," you say - a bit louder than needed.

You know Jing Yuan heard you.

He kept his attention solely on the people before him though, not even sparing you a glance.

The sight makes you let out another loud sigh, bringing the glass to your lips only to immediately drink it in one gulp, Master Gongshu snickering beside you while calling another waiter over, "Oho, I see you're rearing to go so early! This is indeed what a celebration feast is about!" Master Gonshu roars, his laughter having been a bit too loud to attract the attention of other people, who merely snickered at his own energy.

Jing Yuan only narrowed his eyes, eyebrows furrowing in displeasure at your comment. It seems like you still haven't cooled down. But as soon as he heard his name get called, he was all smiles again, "Aren't you worried that [Name] is going to drink too much, general?" a solider jokingly asked, raising his own glass to have a toast with the general. Jing Yuan merely let out a low chuckle, "Of course not, and even if they were to, I'm here to take care of them."

At this point, the master diviner had made herself to your side with a few snacks - just in time to see your expression twist for a split second upon hearing what Jing Yuan said, letting out a laugh yourself, "Oh, don't worry dear. I know how to take care of myself, so there's no need for you to needlessly worry like this!"

She can practically sense the animosity between you two that no one else in the room has apparently picked up on.

But Fu Xuan does admit that seeing Jing Yuan's perfectly crafted smile twitch a bit in annoyance while his eyebrows furrowed a tiny bit did bring her satisfaction - a taste of his own medicine.

So while master Gongshu have wandered off to get a refill, she makes her way over to you with a raised eyebrow, "Trouble in paradise?" she asks lowly, you merely huff in return - turning around to lean on the fence, staring at the various starskiffs in the air, "... No."

"I applaud you for still wanting to lie in front of me," Fu Xuan comments, placing the tray of various snacks beside you for your perusal - you don't grab anything, already lost in thought.

"Is it a needless worry?" you end up asking, Fu Xuan having leaned against the fence herself while having her body turned to face you, "About what? His safety? Yes and no."

"Gee, that helps a lot."

"He's a general, [Name]. An attempt on his life is unfortunately common sense, moreso at this time too being that he had just returned from an expedition and would be by some standards - exhausted and have his senses dulled."

"So why-"

"But it's also because he is a general that precautions are taken. Even if he got delayed or not before coming to the Artisanship Commission, the Cloud Knights stationed had already intercepted the attempt - he would've still been safe."

You bite your tongue to prevent yourself from blurting anything more. In hindsight you were perfectly aware that Jing Yuan would be fine - but you're pretty sure there's not a single lover out there who would not worry about their own husbands' safety if his head had once again been targeted - even if it had been yet another failed attempt.

Before you can admit your wrongdoings to Fu Xuan, you feel an arm slither around your waist - delicate lips pressing against your temple, and from the faint breath Jing Yuan lets out, you can tell he's had a few more to drink than you in the span of your conversation with Fu Xuan.

"... I thought you didn't like to drink that much," you say softly, turning around in his hold only to be met with a smile, "And I thought you weren't going to speak to me?" he whispers back. You merely huff and let his head fall down to your shoulder, sending Fu Xuan a pleading gaze to which she immediately gets without you needing to say anything more - walking over to the crowd of onlookers to step in for both you and Jing Yuan.

"I am still mad," you finally utter after a few minutes of silence between the two of you.

"Whatever can I do to make my beloved not mad at me then?" he asks back in a whisper, careful to not let anyone else hear the two of you. You can tell from your peripheral vision that he's turned his head to face you, although you keep your gaze facing forward.

"Admit you were wrong," you huff, Jing Yuan letting out a low chuckle at how you're still holding onto that stubborness, "I'm pretty sure I saw that you were about to admit that you were wrong to the master diviner, no?"

You don't answer, merely looking away in a silent defiance. The sight making Jing Yuan sigh in amusement, "Alright, I'm sorry dear. I'll make sure to tell you in the future whenever I feel something amiss," he says in the end - but before you can accept that apology, he quickly adds on.

"In return, I do hope you tell me whenever the disciples also target you."

.... Oh.

"... You know you could've made me inform you in any other way than having us argue?" you state, back to your moody self - the switch in mood making your husband laugh, "Not such a great feeling being left in the dark, is it?" he reminds you - and you hate how effective this sort of method is.

So your only reply is to wrap your arms around his waist, "I'm sorry," You can feel his body shake with laughter, his own arms wrapping around your shoulders before you feel his lips pressing themselves at the top of your head, "Now stop being mad, because these few hours were quite tortuous for me."

"You just say that because I usually do all the talking."

"Precisely."

struggled with that ending for 3 days man.

[forbidding-souda]

I can’t even remember if I’ve requested this before and you’ve already written it or not. But uh. Korekiyo spanking S/O? Pretty please? Just anything with that, go wild lol

(Assuming nsfw requests are open. Otherwise just ignore this)

Korekiyo Shinguuji spanking his S/O (NSFW)

4 you anon <3 this took me about 5 hours to write becaues i started watching hamilton roblox and got distracted. this might be too short bc i've actually never experienced spanking like this at all so this is all through the noggin and quora LMFAO WAIT YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW OFTEN I USE QUORA AS MEANS OF GAINING INFO FOR SOME FICS LMFAOOOOO. here's a gundham spanking one i wrote before that perfectly explains this processs LOL

ya'll oh my god i am so sick rn as if classes don't start in two days bruh fucking free me im gonna slam my head through a wall bruh i get sick so easily it's not even funny i stole some of my roommates benedryl like i'm coughing so hard.

and all of these sprites i've been using this week are copy and pasted from old posts so i def need to remake them with hair color and piercing updates bc helppp LMFAO i'll do that eventually

-Mod Souda

❤ He is the happiest man on the planet whenever it comes to giving you the sexual pleasure you need. He is delighted to be able to serve you.

❤ His long nails will offer soothing yet ticklish caresses to the back of your naked thighs. Your ass is such a tender part of your body, he loves to touch it, to grope it and when he does, he presses his lips to the pulse of your neck to feel how fast your heartbeat goes.

❤ He's always too excited to undress you. Even your shirt will still be on.

❤ He prefers using his hands, loving the physical contact.

❤ He'll have you folded over his lap, or having your front pressed against a wall on your tippy toes. No matter the position, every time you squirm you'll be able to feel his thick erection.

❤ "My, my." He'll coo at each of your desperate gasps.

❤ In between each spank is the sharp tingle that never seems to relent.

❤ For some real visualization:

❤ You had your knees to the floor and your chest against the couch. Your wrists were constructed with his favorite red rope, the color looked so pretty against you. One of his hands held you down from between your shoulder blades while the other went back and forth compacting against your ass.

❤ Your underwear wasn't even fully off and neither was your pants. They were pulled down to just below the fold of your cheeks.

❤ He was too impatient to strip you.

❤ The loud smack made you cry out in pain, especially when his large hand his the sensitive curves, the stinging almost unbearable.

❤ Your muscles kept clenching, kept tensing, and when he saw the shake of your glutes, his spanks would go harder.

❤ Relentless, back and forth, back and forth, giving you no space to even breathe.

❤ Sometimes he'll let you lay across his lap, your back arched and thighs apart, having you wearing nothing but your socks as he punishes you with rough smacks. From his angle he can perfectly capture both cheeks at the same time, giving your body both a cold shock and an aroused hotness. His fingers will be spread, covering ass much of your skin as he can.

❤ "How gorgeous you are," he'll whisper, more at you than him. You can hear how out of breath he is, desperate to be inside of you. "How beautiful, how perfect."

[enjomo-arch]

@vonerde // @godthread // @jaegerjacks ya'll send me more stars ( ☆ ) for ace to put on his face so i'm obligated to make a post where i speak nice things i like about ya'll okay les go

@vonerde aka vee

vee  vee  !!  thank  you  for  the  star  and  i'm  giving  you  thousand  of  them  back  because  you're  a  moon  and  all  of  them  are  shining  around  you.  we  knew  each  other  for  so  long,  like  since  the  stone  age  of  this  hell  site  and  we  are  still  together  writing  and  enjoying  our  muses.  it's  deadass  crazy  but  listen.  you're  perfect,  gaia  is  and  truth  is  you're  gonna  be  perfect  all  the  way.  and  you  always  were  since  the  first  day  i  met  ya  !

@godthread aka thunder

puts  a  star  on  every  single  muse  of  yours  and  decorates  you  in  them  like  a  5  y/o  would  decorate  their  mom's  wall  in  crayon  graffiti.  thunder  you're  truly  a  delight  to  me  and  a  very  amazing  person  to  talk  to.  since  the  first  day  i  knew  we  gonna  vibe  just  right  because  you're  so  full  of  positive  energy  it  beams  like  a  damn  sun  in  the  sky.  you  continue  doing  amazing  work,  be  the  sun  of  the  op  rpc  because  to  me  you  definitely  are.

@jaegerjacks aka ain

was  very  excited  to  see  u  follow  me  also  on  ace  cuz  im  pretty  sure  we  followed  each  other  in  past  with  like  passing  days  and  flows  but  trust  me  i'm  super  hyped  for  grimmjow  and  ace  weird  ass  friendship  where  they  beat  each  other  up  for  fun  lmfao  you  been  very  fun  to  talk  to  in  dm  as  well  and  overall  covers  grimmjow  in  star  stickers  to  piss  him  off,  nerd.

[jane-the-zombie]

Wedding Inferno || Harsh & Jane

TIMING: Present LOCATION: ???? PARTIES: @notsoharsh & @jane-the-zombie SUMMARY: Jane and Harsh show up to Jane’s wedding wearing the same dress. Obviously, one of them has to change.

Soft music guided careful steps down a long, carpeted aisle. Chairs on either side were full of smiling, unfamiliar faces. The dress was hard to walk in. Or maybe that was the shoes. Harsh couldn’t really tell, they were trapped underneath the voluminous skirt. Well, at least everyone was looking at him. They should be. It was his big day after all. Except… it wasn’t. Someone else was walking the aisle with him. He gave her a sideways glance, brow furrowing. What was she doing wearing white on his day? Or was it his? Whatever, that was so out of line. Everyone knows wearing white to a wedding is just in bad taste. “What’s with you?” he muttered before looking down the aisle. Just one groom there waiting. The guy was… decent looking. Yeah, Harsh could work with that. It was just the chick keeping pace with him who was a problem. “Seriously, shouldn’t you go sit down? You’re kind of getting in the way.”

Oh god, not this again. Jane scowled down at Dream Jason, beaming at her from the end of the elongated aisle. Everything was wrong. Her flowers were blood red roses instead of the pretty purple pansies and they were in a church with the two sides of the family separated, and she was pretty sure her heels were a size too small. And, Jane realized as she walked down the aisle, instead of her father escorting her to Jason, some asshole in the same dress as her was walking with her. Excuse me, absolutely not. “What’s with me?” she hissed back. “What’s with you! You’re the one interrupting my wedding! That’s my fiancee down there! And how the hell did you get that dress, this was custom made just for me!”

Harsh scoffed, one hand on his hip. “If it was made for you, then why does it look better on me?” None of the guests seemed particularly bothered by their little pause halfway down the aisle. Good. No one should be giving him crap, not today. He cast another look at the groom, head tipped to one side. “I don’t know, I’m pretty sure he’s giving me bedroom eyes right now. What do you want for him?” Maybe they could trade something. What was worth a fiance? Chauncey was probably just as good as a boring human husband. The music was still going, it seemed a little louder, a little more urgent. “I think they want us to get this show on the road. So one of us is going to have to sit this out. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of uh… what’s his name?”

“Trade him?!” r stared at him, aghast. Honestly, if this was real life and not a dream, she would absolutely trade Jason for less than half an m&m. But she was fairly certain this was a dream, considering her mother was actually here and not somewhere on the West Coast tanning. That had to mean Jason wasn’t a total bag of dicks. Jane scoffed. “You don’t even know his name. This is my wedding, my dress, my possessed ring-bearer step stool and that’s my family -” Jane pointed to where her family was sitting. “- so go sit your ass down.” She full on body blocked him, standing in front of him with hands on her hips. Who cared if it was embarrassing, it wasn’t real! And damn that music was getting loud, the groom’s side of the church starting to shuffle quietly. There was something she should be remembering, but she was too distracted by whoever the hell this guy was. Trying to interrupt her dream wedding, dickhead was lucky she didn’t shoot him right then and there. “I’ll save you a piece of cake.”

The groom’s side was starting to get ansty, moaning and groaning discordantly. Harsh spared them a brief look. Huh, apparently some of them didn’t want to wait for the reception to eat. Oh well, they weren’t his family. What’s his face at the end of the aisle didn’t seem to care much as his best man turned and started snacking on another groomsman. As long as the blood didn’t get on his dress, it didn’t seem to matter. “Listen, lady, I don’t know who you are, but you’re really killing my vibe here. You want me to sit down, how about you try to make me,” he said, shoving roughly at her shoulders. It was probably bad luck to start a fight on his wedding day, but if she wasn’t going to move, he would just have to make her.

There was something she was forgetting - something very important. Jane, with her back to the chaos behind her, was shoved backwards. By some miracle she didn’t fall on her ass in her one-size-too-small shoes. Grumbling under her breath, she looked at him. She wasn’t about to be bullied by some man on her wedding day. Absolutely not. “I’m Jane - Jane Wu. And this is my wedding!” It wasn’t like any of this mattered right? And honestly, it was a little fun to start fights. She could feel her heart pumping the adrenaline going as she wound up and decked the man straight in the face with her best punch. She didn’t fuck around. She killed a mime with her bare hands. Some half-rate dream man wasn’t going to do crap to her.

For a human, or someone who looked pretty human, Jane could throw a decent punch. Harsh staggered back, catching himself on a chair. His cheek stung. There was something weird about that. Whatever, he couldn’t go down that easy. Giving himself a shake, he straightened up, rolling his shoulder. “So that’s how it’s gonna be? Fine.” Charging forward, he threw a sharp punch right to her gut and then slammed his foot down onto hers. Wearing heels was suddenly a great call. Maybe he should get a pair to wear more often. Wait, no he had these. Didn’t he? He couldn’t think straight, his face hurt and that weird music just kept getting louder, almost like it was trying to drown out the growing growls around them. And, for a second, he was sure he smelled smoke.

She didn’t have time or really the ability to block the hit as it came, Jane swearing as his foot slammed down onto hers. Why did that hurt more than the damn punch to the gut? Jane gripped Harsh’s shoulders, pushed him back before using the momentum to flip them both down onto the ground. There was an outrageous tearing noise - someone’s dress had ripped and she didn’t give a shit whose it was. She wound up to bunch him in the face again, this time with her left hand so her diamond ring would cut his face - yikes, when had she gotten so violent? - when she heard her father scream. The mangled frantic Mandarin came to through to her - Janey, janey what are you doing, help - when her head snapped up to see Jason’s friend Dave ripping out his neck. “Dad?! Hold on! Hold on!!” I’m coming!” Jane cried back in Mandarin. “Zombies. Oh crap, I forgot about the zombies!” She pushed herself up off the man, forgetting about everything. “Dad - shit, I can’t move in this thing.”

Shit. The carpet didn’t do much to soften the blow as Harsh crashed down. That hurt, really hurt. Maybe she wasn’t human. Something was off. He threw up his hands to try to stop the blow, but it didn’t come. Oh, right people were getting eaten. “Hold on.” Forcing himself up, he took Jane’s arm, helping her to her feet. The chaos was spreading, the music was almost defeating now and he didn’t just smell smoke, he could see it. Dark tendrils of it crept out from under the few chairs that were still upright in one piece. The stupid dress was too long. Cursing under his breath, Harsh ripped at the skirt. He grabbed a few bits of a broken chair, handing one to Jane. “Here. It’s better than nothing,” he said before turning to try to brain a zombie with his makeshift club. “Where did these things come from? Did you invite a bunch of zombies?”

Jane watched in horror as her Dad was carried off away, the blood spraying everywhere. And suddenly, the man under her was helping her up to her feet. Well that was strange - Jane winced as she heard screaming that sounded like it was from her friend Anya. Oh god, Anya. Her maid of honor. Jane needed to call her, but Anya gave up on her way before she moved to - nope. Focus. She took the chair leg from Harsh looking down at it doubtfully. “We need a sword,” she said, solemnly. “I didn’t on purpose, I didn’t know - well, it’s a long story. It always ends like this. Take your shoes off, you’re doing to twist and ankle.” Jane kicked her heels off, slugging the first zombie in the face that tried to come for her. “Don’t let them bite you!” And then she noticed the smoke. Dark smoke filled her nostrils as she ran forward to try and save her nephew she saw the flames. “... The fire’s new though.” Jane said, nervously. Things were somehow scarier when she knew they weren’t real.

“Right, just let me pull a sword out of my ass,” Harsh said, rolling his eyes. Her advice wasn’t terrible though and he made quick work of his shoes, driving the heel of one through the eye of an advancing zombie. “No shit, my first plan wasn’t really to just let them chew my arm off. I don’t think it matters if they bite me. I’m already dead. Ish.” He was pretty sure he couldn’t get any deader. Jane probably didn’t need to know that, but… this wasn’t real. At least, it seemed pretty not real. Was it a dream? His dreams were usually more… oh. There was the fire. He winced. “I think that’s mine. It’s going to keep spreading until it’s everywhere. We’ve gotta get out of here.” He looked around, frantic. There had to be an exit, this stupid church had to have a door somewhere. The flames grew, ripping through the last of the chairs, climbing the walls. “How does this end for you?”

“Right.” And unaffected by zombie bites? Weird. He must be a zombie she conjured up with her mind. Dreams were fucking wild. Jane shook her head, before she reached out and grabbed Harsh’s arm, pulling him down the aisle. “This way, there’s always an exit down by the priests quarters. We can avoid the fleeing guests that way.” The smoke was getting worse though, scratching the back of her throat. They clambered over bodies in a wedding dress and she barely even paused to think. “When I get down to the end of the aisle to get married, I usually... “ Jane grimaced. “Get eaten.” But it looked like Jason had been ripping Lizzie’s throat out last she checked. Figures. Dream Jason went for her sister. This wasn’t real - Except she was really sore and in a lot of pain. Weren’t people supposed to not feel pain in dreams. “Come on,” Jane coughed. “Shit. I think the exit is blocked off.”

Stumbling over a few lost limbs, Harsh followed after her as fast as the dress would allow. He should have ripped it more. The smoke stung his eyes, but not having to breathe had its advantages sometimes. “Y’know, I was sort of hoping for a different answer. We need to get out of this.” His own ending was rarely better. Being burnt to a crisp was so far down on his to-do list. And there was something wrong with the fire. It felt hot, it felt real. But it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. This… this was a dream. Wasn’t it? The walls were engulfed now, the ceiling above them starting to creak. The screams and cries behind them were growing fainter, but there was still that damn music over everything. “We can’t stay here,” he said, eyes flicking about. There, one of the walls wasn’t the raging inferno the others were, but it had broken in places, bits of light peeking through. “That wall, we’ve gotta get through it.”

“Through the wall?” Jane looked at him like he had four heads. There was a raging inferno and it was starting to get way too hot for comfort. She was sweating, her carefully done up hair damp and falling down, and she was sure her makeup was running - that’s how she knew this was a nightmare. Who the hell wore non-waterproof mascara on their wedding day? “And how do you expect us to go through the wall - of course we can’t stay here. What if we try to get through one of those windows -” she pointed. They were a little high up, but with some small feat of acrobatics maybe they could manage it. It wasn’t like they would die or anything. The flames were starting to creep closer though, and Jane wished the fucking music wasn’t so loud. Here Comes the Bride was only fucking charming during a wedding that wasn’t shit show.

“The fuck are you talking about? Those windows are tiny. Just c’mere.” Harsh grabbed her arm, yanking her toward the wall. There were little spaces between the wood, faint hints of light. Wedging his fingers in, he found purchase and yanked. The fire was growing hotter and hotter, his dress already stained by the smoke. He ripped away chunk after chunk of wall, hands aching. The hole he made wasn’t huge, but it would have to do. Grabbing Jane around the waist, he pulled her close for a moment. “See you on the other side.” And then, with a rough shove, he forced her through before clawing his way out himself, into the light.

“What are you - hey! I don’t think this is a good idea! This is stupid, it’s all a dream anyway, I’m going to wake up just fine -” Jane said, but it wasn’t heard and she was gaping at Harsh as he ripped a hole through the wall. Things were getting worse by the second. Smoke burning her throat and eyes and things were far too hot, and Jane was pretty sure for the first time in a long time, she felt a healthy dose of fear. But that’s what nightmares were, right? It was fine. Except she didn’t have time to really process that before Harsh yanked her close to him. “Wait, don’t -” except she didn’t have time to object as she was forced through the small hole in the wall, cutting her arm in the process and -

Jane jerked upwards in bed, sweating, coughing. disheveled, and bleeding. Wait, bleeding?! Fumbling for her lamp, she knocked her alarm clock on the floor. “Crap -” Jane swore, before finally disentangling herself from her covers as she limped to the bathroom flipping on the light to look at herself in the mirror. Her arm had a jagged cut on it, blood dripping down onto the floor. She was still coughing, eyes burning with tears as if she had just been in a fire. Wait. A fire? THat’s what she wash ust dreaming about, right? Her stomach was killing her and so was her foot - what the hell? What the hell?! Aghast, Jane reached for her first-aid kit, and wondered how the hell she managed to kick her own ass in her sleep. Hadn’t it all been a dream?

Harsh jerked awake, nearly rolling off his couch. He sat up, patting at himself. His cheek still stung and his back ached. That… that was wrong. How did he still hurt from that stupid dream? Something was wrong. Maybe it was something he drank… or someone. And then there was that woman, Jane. She had seemed different than the rest of it. More real. It was something to do with her, it had to be.

[hobin-gnoblin]

OBEY ME! SHALL WE DATE IN....

The

Roadtrip🏕

"So the main animatronics are Freddy, Foxy, Bonnie and Chica." Levi explained to Mammon whist sitting together in the back of the van. "Lucy dear come on how much longer to we have till we get there? I'm stuck next to this wierdo telling me about robots." Mammon sneered as he gestured his thumbs pointing at Levi. Levi glared, "I haven't even gotten to the Bite of '87." Mammon replied, which 87? We've been alive for shit, who knows how long?" Mammon groaned.

"Will you two shut up? I'm trying to read more about the camping site we're off to." Satan said, face red from annoyance. "Yes boys, could you please quiet down, I've been trying to focus painting my nails, today I decided to go with a forest green to help accentuate my surroundings." Asmo added. "Literally no gives a shit." Satan responded. "Wow rude, at least I don't have a huge zit on my face!" Asmo responded. Satan's eyes widened, "Where?" He asked. Asmo snickered, "Here." And proceeded to smack Satan square in the face. Asmo, Levi, and Mammon all laughed in the back of the van. Satan's rage bloomed into pure fury.

Asmo screamed as Satan shoved his head outside the van window. "How big is it? Can you see it now you sly motherfucker?" Satan yelled as Asmo was screaming trying to get back into the van. "I'm sorry oh my god I'm sorry someone please help me ah I'm too cute for this kind of punishment!" Asmo screamed with tears ruining his mascara.

A voice from the front of the van echoed, "Satan, get Asmo back in the van, and settle down. The both of you!" Lucifer yelled. Satan reluctantly pulled Asmo back in and sat down in their seats. Asmo was currently shaking and sobbing while Satan smirked in delight. Finally after all what was recently occurring, Belphie woke up from a nap and saw the rest of his brothers looking like absolute shitheads who sat in the back of the bus during school field trips. (It was me, I was the shithead.)

"Can you guys please shut up, I'm trying to get some sleep and it doesn't help that Beel packed the crunchiest shit ever." Belphie groaned. Beel stopped his munching and looked at Belphie with sad eyes. "I'm sorry little bro." Beel said with his head hanging low. "Ah fuck, listen Beel I'm sorry, I shouldn't blame you for that." Belphie apologized. Both of the brothers hugged and made up for the little scramble. (That is wholesome you're welcome.)

About a half hour later the van reached to a halt. The doors opened and the boys stepped out with Mammon screaming in joy and falling to his knees in the parking lot. "Thank God we're here!" Mammon screamed as he kissed the pavement. Suddenly the skies opened and a bright light shown on Mammon. "Thank me? For what ya greedy shit bag, ya'll just stopped at the gas station lmfao. Anyway, see ya losers later I'm gonna go to my Heavenly Slushie Bar and get my slush on." God said as he snapped his fingers and closed the gates of clouds in the sky.

Mammons eyes widened as he turned around and saw the 6/12 gas station. He cried until a figure creeper behind him. "And then Foxy bit the unsuspecting child.." Leviathan whispered in Mammons ear. Mammom screamed, "FUCKING MC FUCK FUCK AUGH!"

The rest of the brothers waited as Lucifer filled up the gas tank. Satan joined his side while still reading. "Having fun Satan?" Lucifer smirked. "HaVing FuN sAtan?" Satan mocked. "You have a huge zit on you ." Lucifer pointed. "Where?" Satan replied. "Here." Lucifer said as he decked Satan in the crotch.

-fin

(Thank you for all the love and support on my previous works! If you want to see more stuff, check out my profile to see more wacky adventures and headcannons of the brothers!)