#yeah Caesar used the same +7 shift cypher for everything and it worked because nobody could read in the first place

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

I realize you don't like doing actual real people, but in honour of the date, what about Gaius Julius Caesar (100 BCE - 44 BCE) the Tumblr stabby boy?

You had me at "the Tumblr stabby boy" as if he didn't already get duper duper stabbed in real life also, as well as on the stage. But no, he's ours now.

So okay. We say Jonathan Harker ignores red flags, but like, a soothsayer bids Caesar beware the Ides of March, and our buddy Julius says "no 😌" Like the thing he's famous for (today at least) is ignoring warnings shouted at him by weirdos as he passes by. (By contrast when Jonathan is told to beware Castle Dracula - in much less clear terms, mind - his response is more on the order of "y tho?" at which point everyone suddenly stops being able to speak German. They are not the same).

The other main character trait he has, in the play at least, is arrogance. That's why they stab him all those times. The fear is that he's going to make himself King - Brutus says Caesar was ambitious, and Brutus is an honorable man. All through those early scenes, his advisors are advising him to maybe chill a bit, and he's just like "😎 haters gonna hate" about it - and then is genuinely surprised when they do. My guy...

Julius Caesar thinks he's All That, he thinks he's untouchable, he thinks he's a god. They may bond over stories of conquest but he's not going to take anyone's warning seriously or give Dracula the respect or deference he demands. And even if Dracula is baffled by his +7 shift ciphers (which he may be if he hasn't read the Dancing Men yet) it'll only make him angry. No matter his high opinion of himself, at the end of the day he bleeds like any other man, whether you're stabbing him 33 times on the senate floor or seeing if he really does have kisses enough for everyone.

Also apparently his horse had human toes instead of hooves, which is super freaky and I don't like it. It's not relevant in any way (or, in all likelihood, true) but I thought you should know.

Julius Caesar, the Tumblr stabby boy, at least as depicted by ol' Billy Shakes, can not survive Castle Dracula. And now we know where the Roman coins in Dracula's pile came from.