canyourfavesurvivecastledracula - Tumblr blog

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

lord help us all I've been given a reason to think about Dracula novel/Drizzt series crossover

I love following canyourfavesurvivecastledracula (I especially love seeing characters I'm not familiar with on there) and they recently got an ask about my little guy Drizzt Do'Urden but didn't know all that much about him BUT YOU SEE (unfortunately for everyone who knows me in any way) this is a crossover of the two major fandoms that have become my entire personality in the past year or so! so as someone who's eagerly awaiting the return of Dracula Daily Season AND reading multiple of the Drizzt series books as we speak (simultaneously! help..) and considers him a blorbo to tenderly and lovingly put in the microwave to watch him dodge the radiation like an ant, I'm taking a crack at it because this looks like fun :D

Making my own post because this is purely to be enrichment in my enclosure and also it's.. gotten So So Very Long.. also pouring one out for my other account where I normally would post this sort of thing that I simply cannot log into anymore for mysterious and unknown reasons. (Literally it's still like There and I can See It but trying to log in takes me to 'make a new blog' pages and... wait I'm silly I think I know why. the email died. no idea how to get back in without the email.)

ANYWAY

To the thought experiment:

Could Drizzt Do'Urden Survive Castle Dracula?

Short answer: Yes, it's not a fun time for him, he saves the baby though!

Long answer:

Using the blog's stated general criteria...

Overall approach to the supernatural:

Is an elf, knows what a vampire is, however D&D vampires work differently from Dracula vampires so he would not have all the information on that front if it came to a confrontation. (Knowing the Drizzt books, it would definitely come to at least one fight or at least a tense chase sequence.)

Also depends on how quickly he clocked that this is, in fact, a vampire, and whether Dracula could catch on to him catching on and spin things in a way that kept Drizzt relatively chill OR decide it's time to strike (which he could probably escape) (though now I'm thinking about Vampire!Drizzt....... no no I shouldn't.... unless.....)

The presence of Guenhwyvar (constellation panther BFF my beloved) would afford him some protection other than Dracula's whims, and companionship which is Very Important as he has been known to go feral without sufficient friendship.

Probably takes all the local superstitions very seriously because where he comes from if someone's like "there are ghosts that come out on certain days" and "there are monsters in these woods" they mean it very Very literally.

Dracula's general inhuman behaviors he could take in stride and adapt to pretty well I think, he's known a lot of really eccentric people and is from Fantasy Zone, so the idea that Dracula isn't human wouldn't be scary or even all that weird. Vampire, yeah that's sus, but just non-human? you walk past a hundred non-humans on a single street in most cities where he's from. Many of the eccentricities might be explainable just by going "Ah, he seems to be some kind of wizard. Yeah that checks out." Doesn't seem to be sleeping on a normal schedule or at all? Drizzt does that too! Sees too well in the dark/doesn't seem to use lights much? Darkvision and light sensitivity, same! Moves inhumanly fast? A little concerning but why not. Tells stories from centuries ago as if he was there? Elves do that all the time and it's because they were, in fact, there. (Also some human wizards do all of that too, just because.)

Now because things work differently between these two settings I'm not sure how much his general familiarity with things in the Forgotten Realms would help him here, like he's taking it all in stride but does he know how to protect himself against a Dracula-type vampire? Does he know magic is so incredibly rare and (apparently) usually evil or does he think this is just an unusually magic-less region?

Whether they would accept the crucifix from the old lady:

He is a polite young man so yes of course he would, and because the lady doesn't know what a drow (or an elf?) is, she probably wouldn't think "evil!!!" like most of the common folk in the Realms do, so much as "weird-looking (yet androgynously beautiful) young man" or depending on the local superstitions may assume he's some sort of fey being? or just like, really exceptionally foreign foreigner.

Assuming she still offers it, he would accept it despite not knowing what sort of deity it's for, because he recognizes it's a token of goodwill and he loves expressions of goodwill. Would definitely go and write about it in his little diary to both wonder what she's so afraid of/what sort of protection it affords, and also gush about the kindness and possibly whether this expands or aligns with his current understanding of morality.

This plus the other Superstitious Behaviors would clue him in that something's up so he'd be going in with that knowledge, prepared to figure out what's going on and what the villagers are so afraid of.

Whether they would go exploring after being told not to:

100% and he might even be stealthy enough to mostly get away with it!

Demonstrably does not like being restricted, only went along with this stuff when he was younger because the indoctrination ensured that he literally had no idea there was any other option (also his dad sparred with him daily to get his energy out so his zoomies were managed)

If Dracula really truly wanted to discourage him from any particular places he might just need to come up with an explanation, but he might also be entertained enough by Drizzt's sneaking and snooping to let him roam and see where it goes. Drizzt is better at stealth than Jonathan but they have different flavors of wet cat charm which Dracula may want to handle differently.

Depending on how you read the scene with the vampire ladies trying to "kiss" Jonathan, like how much of it was vampire charm making him feel kinda into it or potentially more of a paralysis situation, it could go differently just because Drizzt may or may not be able to break out and run away very fast, or just kinda endure it while feeling Really Bad And Gross about the sexual overtones. (Based on instances such as him resisting drugs and exiting the room as fast as possible when a priestess was coming onto him, and going feral to push through a paralyzing poison to prevent an assault on another person.) (I read him as incredibly demisexual and he demonstrates being sex-repulsed to everyone outside of the very short list of people he's actively very close friends with and attracted to.) (His feral side has been known to come out in these types of situations but not all of them and it wouldn't necessarily always work either.)

The girlies would not put him off of exploring for very long but he would likely be trying to avoid all possible run-ins with them from that point forward. Unfortunately for him he is a tasty little guy and I think the girlies would actively mess with him against Dracula's orders, perhaps in part because he's an elf and they find that interesting and engaging. Enrichment for their enclosure! Horrible time for Drizzt. Exactly the way the vampire squad likes it!

Verdict: He has a bad time but he's gotta run around he has the zoomies. Dracula could possibly prevent this, if he wanted to prevent it, by letting him into a training yard of some kind so he can get out his energy.

Ability to manage the whims of a Rich Jerk / hold Dracula's interest:

This one is harder and probably depends on the circumstances of him going to the castle, like what his goal there is, and around what point in the timeline he's at. I haven't gotten through all 30-something books just yet but my answer is Probably?

Just the fact of him being an elf and having some innate magic abilities could possibly be enough for Dracula to find him interesting enough to keep around. He's not a wizard and his innate spells are mostly harmless, more battlefield management than anything, so he's not magically a particularly powerful threat to Dracula, just decently interesting. He could also go on about how magic works where he's from, though going on too much about his inherent drow magic would make him uncomfortable (which Dracula would probably like) and especially like, if he got into the ins and outs of Menzoberranzan specifically.

He would definitely bring out the active listening skills for Dracula's history and war stories. Might want to get examples of any particularly interesting fighting maneuvers. I wonder if Dracula would indulge him in a spar or let him practice? The castle must have a training yard somewhere, but would he let Drizzt keep his weapons/borrow some?

Usually good enough at reading the room to determine when is or is not a good time for the scimitars and the panther (combat mode) to come out.

Not the most charismatic, but insightful and clever. (autism-ass elf. elftism.......)

Raised in a very controlling environment with a strict social hierarchy where he was simultaneously part of a high-ranking noble family but also as far down the social ladder as he could be otherwise (male, youngest child, was supposed to be assigned spell component at birth, doesn't like conforming) so, again, he wouldn't like it but he could probably manage it.

Partly depends on how much effort Dracula is willing to put in to make the Friendship believable and keep Drizzt in the dark, or if he's interesting enough to more carefully balance a web of manipulation around.

I'm gonna say this point gets a Yes

Assuming he realized the vampires are Bad but too dangerous to 2v4, he would be so uncomfortable for most of it but is also funky enough that Dracula would probably find his discomfort and weird-but-trying-to-be-so-polite mannerisms entertaining. Dracula would decide this is his blorbo now. I may be biased but this is tumblr so actually Dracula himself said all of this to me personally in DMs.

Facility for climbing without gear (free soloing):

Lizard fashion? Spider fashion...

He Is On The Walls

Multiple points in the books involve him sneaking around places by climbing on walls and I believe elves are canonically, in general, weirdly good at parkour. So yeah!

Whether they would choose to risk being eaten by vampires over the certain death of being eaten by wolves:

IF he has weapons, the wolves aren't really certain death because he is a whirling tornado of death, I am so sorry wolves. If not then he might be able to parkour out of their way? He probably wouldn't want to fight the wolves though, because he is a disney princess nature lover and would rather free them from Dracula's control if possible.

Depending on how much he could figure out about how vampires work here, he may have some ideas for how to turn a fight against them to his advantage or otherwise.

Wait, this happens after the baby incident, right? If so then he's not getting to this point plot-wise, though he might have come back to try fighting the vampires after saving the baby, and depending on how he's doing that, he might still have to contend with the wolves at some point.

Decision: Doesn't want to go against the wolves at any point, but if necessary, he can out-parkour them.

General analysis from Me:

Main counts on the original post are accurate! He accepts the cross, survives the social situations as long as necessary, and escapes with the baby to give it back to the villagers upset but otherwise intact.

As soon as he realized the vampires were menacing the locals to any extent, he would decide to figure out a way to free the area of their evil. Unfortunately the best way for him to figure out anything about the vampires is to stay in close quarters with them for a little while. He has been known to pretend to side with an enemy to gain information or an advantage in a fight, but I'm not sure how long he could keep it up.

Dracula might string him along with Friendship (Drizzt loves friendship so much if he doesn't have friendship he will explode) but he would have to get his baby-eating roommates to play along and behave or else they could easily freak the guy out too much for it to remain believable.

Either way, Drizzt is not staying in that castle beyond the point of another person (the baby) being put in danger. There's at least one point in the books where he's protecting a baby while fighting some enemies and he always puts the baby's safety first. Also Guen can respawn, so if it's absolutely necessary to, she can get taken to 0 HP distracting the vampires while Drizzt improvises some way to get out of there with the baby intact.

That's as far as "survive Castle Dracula" usually goes because well he got out of the castle alive but now I am also thinking about possible plot beyond that point...

First of all the villagers?? Assuming they saw him as Really Weird Foreigner or perhaps some sort of fair folk rather than Literal Demon Spawn the worst they'd do is probably be very tense and silent after taking the baby back and let him leave uncontested without welcoming him in. Best case scenario is some or all of them, or at least the baby's mother, being grateful enough to help him out a little. But like what's he gonna Do after that? (Also if the villagers think he's some sort of fey guy then would they think there's something up with the baby now...)

I mean he knows there's baby-eating vampires in that castle now and he's very against the idea of leaving baby-eating vampires around. Even if he can't 2v4 all of them plus their minions he'd wanna do something about that. (2v4 rather than 1v4 because Guen counts as one) Would he try to gather allies to assault the castle? If he learned that there's times when he can expect them all to be asleep in their coffins would he try to just go back in and stab them in their coffin-sleep? Would he leave the area if he knows the local people are still in danger or would he reason that he needs to find help and come back?

(Also raising to myself the question of whether this is "specifically only Drizzt has been isekai'd into the novel Dracula" or if there's perhaps a little more crossover type setting blending, or if others from the Realms are in there, is Elminster around I know he's canonically been to Real Life Earth, would Van Helsing have some kind of tangent about how this has allegedly happened before, there's an implication that vampires aren't even Van Helsing's favorite cryptid what if d&d type elves are actually higher on that list and he knows all about them, is it even possible to put something resembling the plot and characters of Dracula into a D&D setting, what if I could make a Domain of Dread out of this–)

No matter what happened, Drizzt would be writing SO many diary entries which is perhaps the true main reason why he would survive, he's got that journaling and diary-keeping swag just like my good friend Jonathan Harker

(This is all assuming he has Guen because if he didn't have Guen he would wilt away of the Miseries. Might un-wilt specifically to save the baby and then re-wilt as soon as he remembered there's no kitty.)

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

TIL that when you turn a hobby into homework sometimes you also turn yourself into kind of a jerk.

My sincere apologies to everyone.

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Drizzt Do’Urden, and I think there’s a strong case for allowing Guenhwyvar in there with him, since she’s his animal companion and also he carries her around in his pocket as a statue.

Pros: - Guen is a panther, with everything that entails - Drizzt himself is good at athletics, and the best at swords

cons: - slurp slurp

OMFG DRIZZT DO'URDEN. The... the frickin Edward Cullen of the Forgotten Realms. Boo hoo brooding tormented badboy par excellence. The guy who single-handedly ruined Dark Elves for decades. The Drow are all EVIL SPIDER WORSHIPPING MONSTERS but not ~~~me~~~ I'm DIFFERENT (and saaaaaaaad). I'm the champion of 💫Meiliki the Unicorn Goddess💫 because I'm pure and tormented and in love with a Dwarven princess but I can never tell herrrrrrrr for REASONS

Sorry. Sorry. Flashbacks to highschool. I promise to stop being a dick about other people's faves and give Drizzle Duran Duran a fair shake. But Godddddd that guy...

Okay. Assuming the inkeeper's wife doesn't immediately clock him as an inherently evil creature of darkness and actually offers it to him, I think he takes the crucifix. He has his own goddess, but he comes from a setting where you can receive blessings from multiple sources without contradiction. He's too much the Atoner to reject benedictions that fall into his path. Not that he shaves, he's an Elf, but, ya know, the principle of the thing.

I can't imagine Drizzt would be put off at all by Dracula's strange nocturnal existence. He's from the Underdark, Castle Dracula probably feels very homey to him. Especially once he meets the Girlies. They're not that different from your average Priestess of Lolth, just with six fewer legs. I don't think the isolation will particularly get to him either. He's used to being an isolated loner, all the better for brooding and pining. And, as you say, Guen is there.

Now there's a thought! When Dracula comes to steal his stuff, does he get a faceful of panther? Gosh, we can only hope. But probably if Drizzt keeps her in his pocket she'll be as safe as Jonathan's diary.

Again, given the power structure of the Drow in the Underdark and the constant threat of being sacrificed to the Spider Goddess, I am sure Drizzt is able to be sufficiently deferential to keep Dracula appeased. The question is: is he willing to put up with this kind of nonsense again having once escaped it?

What's Drizzt's will save like? Can he be entranced? Elves don't sleep per se, he's not going to be passed out on every couch he can find like Some People.

Hm. What I am coming around to is that while I am ambivalent about Drizzt's ability to beat Dracula in a fair fight (4 against 2 + magic and all that? Mmmm), especially without his 15 layers of plot armor, I am actually very confident in his ability to escape Castle Dracula. I don't have a good reason, I read one (1) book [redacted] years ago and uhhhh kinda hated it, but I just think that's something he'd be really good at. So I'm thinking that the most likely outcome is that when the thing with the baby goes down, his Hero Complex kicks in, he distracts the vampires with a faceful of pocket panther, grabs the whole sack, and just books it out the diamond pane windows. I think he could do that, the absolute madlad.

Of course when he tries to return the baby he gets chased off by torches and pitchforks because he really looks like an inherently evil creature of the night, but that's just a new thing to soulfully brood about. What's important is the baby is okay.

Huh. I guess Drizzt Do'Urden can survive Castle Dracula.

Dang. I really wanted to kill him

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

What about Sans from undertale? Can he survive? I am leaning towards yes but I want to see your analysis

You know, I must be the only person here who has never played Undertale. I know Sans is the Font Skeleton who is also a tumblr Sexyman. I know he's got a different Font Skeleton (Papyrus) for a brother who angrily counts Haiku syllables, but I think that's probably fan art.

I feel like if I knew anything at all about Undertale I could work the gameplay mechanics into this in an entertaining way, so I'm sort of disappointed at the lost potential here. It's all about choices, right? And...rectangles. Someone else run with this I've got nothing.

So Sans is made of bones. I know he must be killable because isn't the whole thing with Undertale about choosing to kill the encounters or not? But even though tumblr thinks he's a snacc he has very little to entice four hungry vampires. And the impression I get is that he's less incendiary than Papyrus but very self assured and unlikely to be cowed by Dracula, so there's no fun psychological torment there. I don't think he'd have any interest in divine protection, but he also has neither hair nor blood, so...eh?

I can put together a poll, but really someone else should take this and run with it.

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Person who can't spell SpongeBob - you've made you point please don't make me turn off anon

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

If I ask what on earth "the boykisser meme" is, will I regret it?

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Hey Mel Bush anon I probably won't get to your ask for a good long time because I like to vary franchise as much as I can and I just did Jo but I wanted you to know that you've been seen and are INCREDIBLY valid

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Kendal from the comic Aurora, here’s a link to it: https://comicaurora.com/aurora/0-1-1/

Anonymous asked:

Can Kendall from comic Aurora survive? I'm skeptica, but curious

I am going to be real, I am running this today because I needed a third person who was somewhat astronomically themed, and it says "aurora" so...

This is what the character page says about Kendal:

The second occupant of Vash’s incarnated form, possessing godlike strength and speed. Vash has tasked him with finding and rescuing him from the Collector.

Godlike strength and speed is a good start. Being the avatar of a divinity is also a good start, thought possibly not the sort of divinity that is going to be significant to Dracula? I am seeing a lot about Primordial Life and Dracula, being dead, is sort of the opposite of that, so maybe. What I don't know is anything whatsoever about his personality, which tends to be the major deciding factor, or what about him makes anon here skeptical. He is apparently a Man on a Mission, and if his Thing is rescuing people from supervillains he may know his way around a spooky prison fortress. But then, it doesn't say whether he's actually any good at his job.

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Kendal from the comic Aurora, here’s a link to it: https://comicaurora.com/aurora/0-1-1/

Anonymous asked:

Can Kendall from comic Aurora survive? I'm skeptica, but curious

I am going to be real, I am running this today because I needed a third person who was somewhat astronomically themed, and it says "aurora" so...

This is what the character page says about Kendal:

The second occupant of Vash’s incarnated form, possessing godlike strength and speed. Vash has tasked him with finding and rescuing him from the Collector.

Godlike strength and speed is a good start. Being the avatar of a divinity is also a good start, thought possibly not the sort of divinity that is going to be significant to Dracula? I am seeing a lot about Primordial Life and Dracula, being dead, is sort of the opposite of that, so maybe. What I don't know is anything whatsoever about his personality, which tends to be the major deciding factor, or what about him makes anon here skeptical. He is apparently a Man on a Mission, and if his Thing is rescuing people from supervillains he may know his way around a spooky prison fortress. But then, it doesn't say whether he's actually any good at his job.

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors?

ooooOOOooooooh

Does it make a difference whether ut's Audrey II from the original movie, from the stage musical, or from the film adaptation of the musical? I think their (her? its?) character is largely the same in all three, but I believe only the third text provides any mechanism by which the plant can be destroyed: electricity. And there is no electricity in Castle Dracula (presumably just one of many reasons he's looking for a new house).

The trouble with Audrey II is that she and Dracula are two of a kind - obligate hæmovores bent on conquest who exert a mesmeric power and have satanic/demonic coding (Audrey II as a Tempter, Dracula just for funzies). Who is playing whom? Is Audrey II there as Dracula's invited guest? Or did this Strange Plant just appear in the Castle during a TO-TAL E-CLIPSE OF THE SUN (da-doop).

[I looked it up, there was a total solar eclipse on April 16th, 1893 - the date on which, according to Stoker's notes, Jonathan Harker visited Mina at her schoolroom before departing for Transylvania - probably for the purpose of proposing. This is a convenient moment for Audrey II to have arrived on our planet. Unfortunately this eclipse was off the coast of Brazil, which is a bit out of the way for our purposes]

Okay it's bothering me - what are Audrey II's pronouns? The human characters refer to the plant as "it." Or should it be "she," because Audrey II self identifies as a mother (specifically, one that is mean, green and from outer space). Is there any clue botanically - Audrey II reproduces both sexually and asexually (that is, both via flowers and via cuttings - and possibly spores? As in "I swear by all my spores" - but Audrey II at least appears to be an angiosperm why are there spores?? But Audrey II is also an alien so maybe the question is "why not") I... yeah I dunno. You guys decide:

So okay. We know Audrey II can fake being in distress to basically beg for treats. Like Dracula, feeding seems only to increase its hunger (and power). All plants will happily drink blood (they sell blood meal fertilizer, it's a good source of potassium) but Audrey II seems to actually require it. Does this mean she doesn't require normal Plant Things like water and sunlight? Seymore initially cares for it like an ordinary plant and it doesn't help, but it remains unclear whether the blood is sufficient as well as necessary. Like, it's not like he stops watering it, right? Although given that the plant travels through space and arrives during an eclipse, it might well not require things like sunlight and rain.

Does Dracula want a houseplant that is going to be competing with him for nourishment? Or is it convenient that he doesn't have to go for groceries twice, as it were? Since Audrey II frequently eats people whole, is this a good waste disposal unit to avoid vampire toddlers clogging up the Castle? Will Audrey II be content being tossed the scraps and leftovers of the Castle's humanoid residents. Does Dracula really want a fourth thing in his Castle incessantly demanding to be fed? Audrey II is not particularly solicitous about her needs - and very much does not do as she's told.

Audrey II is fundamentally a Tempter - what can they offer to Dracula that he can't already do for himself? There's a reason that Audrey II textually preys on a desperate impoverished orphan - just as Dracula does. I want to say Audrey II is a master manipulator but... really all they seem to do is find a poor schmuck with nothing going for him, give him a taste of success, and then browbeat him into submission. Dracula will not respond well to this approach. Dracula is not really the right kind of Mark for the Mean Green Mother from Outer Space - until or unless he actually moves to London. It's no Cleveland, but it's still extremely edible.

I guess what I keep circling back to is that they're too similar. They want the same things - to glut themselves on teeming millions in an ever-widening circlre of ...plants... perhaps for centuries to come. Neither is terribly useful to the other because they each have the same role. Dracula is not going to be feeding Audrey II with his own blood - he may decide to feed it with other people's blood but... why? Audrey II can't tempt Dracula with fortune and fame and the girl of his dreams. Neither is going to be especially tolerant of the other's attitude. Most frustratingly, neither one can eat the other. Well, Audrey II physically can eat Dracula (if someone's been feeding her up to this point), but I doubt Dracula would fall for "come close enough to trip and fall into my open mouth" you know? Especially with the shape-shifting and the mistform and all that.

Okay wait I think I've got it. Dracula and Audrey II is kind of a non-starter, but Dracula isn't the only person who lives there. I think the Girlies and Audrey II could come to some kind of arrangement. They'd feed it their leftovers, and in return the world's Most Interesting Plant might be an ally for them against Dracula. Again though, nobody is going to respond well to Audrey II just hurling abuse at them when she doesn't get her way. But I am enchanted by the idea of the Girlies and their Green Best Friend moving to London in Dracula's place and opening a little flower shop and then just happily eating people together forever. Maybe they can set up next door to that pie shop in Fleet Street

I am gonna call this one at I really don't know

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Could Sokka from A:tLA survive?

That depends - does he visit during an eclipse?

Nah, I jest, Dracula doesn't care about sunlight. Oh Sokka you beautiful boy. Actual mechanical genius and everloving dork. I love him.

Hmm. Sokka is a skeptic - not a Jack Seward level noodle but a strong believer in rational thought. He's a Good Boy but he's also not going to put much stock in an old woman's superstitions. He's too smart for that and too Man for that. And obviously he's not afraid, pshaw. Sokka does not accept the crucifix. He also doesn't need to shave, but I am confident in his ability to cut himself on something sooner or later.

I don't know whether Dracula would be more irritated or amused by Sokka's ...distinctive approach to things. Would he be able to recognize Sokka's actual genius and attempt to put it to use, or would he see him just as an arrogant dorky kid? Would he see in him the potential for an eager young apprentice, or just a chew toy?

Perhaps incongruously, I think Sokka would deal pretty well with the Horrors. He watched powelessly as his whole civilization was whittled away by raids and the necessities of war, to the extent that he was prepared to take on a heavily armed battleship by himself. He learned about despair and its calms a long time ago. In that sense, Castle Dracula is nothing new to him. He'll sit on his bed and cudgel his brain for escape attempts, and they'll be very clever, but he won't be overly surprised when they fail.

Sokka does have a particular weakness for Girls Associated With The Moon. Will he be so distracted by believing he's finally made it as a Ladies Man that he misses the whole baby in a sack thing? He is certainly young and full of energy enough to have kisses for everyone. We've seen his ego overwhelm his self preservation at times - but we've also seen the opposite. Has Dracula found him endearing enough up to that point to be worth rescuing?

Sokka might be manful enough to go out and get eaten by wolves. Or he might think he is right up until he sees their slavering jaws and end up cowering more than he wants to admit.

I think... Dracula kills him, or lets the Girlies have him sooner or later. There's a slim possibility that he successfully charms Dracula and ends up as his new vampire son, but I think it's more likely that Dracula only recognizes him as a child and treats him accordingly - that is, as food.

Sokka Watertribe can not survive Castle Dracula.

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

What about Sans from undertale? Can he survive? I am leaning towards yes but I want to see your analysis

You know, I must be the only person here who has never played Undertale. I know Sans is the Font Skeleton who is also a tumblr Sexyman. I know he's got a different Font Skeleton (Papyrus) for a brother who angrily counts Haiku syllables, but I think that's probably fan art.

I feel like if I knew anything at all about Undertale I could work the gameplay mechanics into this in an entertaining way, so I'm sort of disappointed at the lost potential here. It's all about choices, right? And...rectangles. Someone else run with this I've got nothing.

So Sans is made of bones. I know he must be killable because isn't the whole thing with Undertale about choosing to kill the encounters or not? But even though tumblr thinks he's a snacc he has very little to entice four hungry vampires. And the impression I get is that he's less incendiary than Papyrus but very self assured and unlikely to be cowed by Dracula, so there's no fun psychological torment there. I don't think he'd have any interest in divine protection, but he also has neither hair nor blood, so...eh?

I can put together a poll, but really someone else should take this and run with it.

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Large Luigi, from D&D.

So. There's a LOT to unpack here.

Pros: - he is large and has thick skin, and abberation blood probably isn't even that enticing (beholders are essentially D&D's shoggoths) - His central eye emanates antimagic. Would that make the undead become temporarily dead? Would they not be able to use their powers? i have no clue - His eyestalks shoot various beams. The most helpful are probably Charm and Disintegrate - He is an accomplished chef - He literally is the supernatural - He does not need to shave

Cons: - he could not wear the crucifix, as he has no neck - he may be too much of a cinnamon roll too good for this world too pure to entertain the Rich Jerk

Excuse me

Nononono you come back here you can't just tell me there's a frickin BEHOLDER called Large Luigi who is both apparently Good aligned and an accomplished chef in... "DnD." Like. WTF. Also you are going to have to be waaaaaaay more specific there is a lot of DnD out there. Is this the day they let Eliot Spencer DM like what is happening.

I think I love him.

The question of whether vampirism is magic in the novel is a complicated one which came up with the Superman ask as well, especially by DnD mechanics. I want to say that if such a distinction exists, vampirism is a spiritual/metaphysical condition, rather than a strictly magical. Some systems draw distinction between magical effects and divine effects, although DnD kinda doesn't - Clerics use spells and things, just like Wizards. Eh? But if an anti-magic field won't automatically disanimate a zombie which I believe it will not - it's nor Free Turn Undead (I don't think??) - then it shouldn't have such an effect on Dracula either.

You know this question has an answer. There's vampires in DnD. Heck, there's Dracula in DnD. Someone go run Curse of Strahd with Large Luigi in it real quick and tell me what happens.

At the very least an anti-magic beam should disrupt Dracula's use of Scholomancy, because Dracula isn't just a vampire, he's also an Evil Wizard who majored in vampirism at Evil Wizard College.

If it came to a fight, I don't think they'd be able to do much to each other. Dracula's saving throws are pretty incredible, so he's not getting charmed or disintegrated. Without magic though, I don't think there's much Dracula can do that would have much effect on a Beholder. Gonna throw a wolf at his eye?? What???

If it comes to escape, I doubt Large Luigi can fit out the window. And the big doors are locked. On the other hand, even several inches of solid oak and iron are probably no match for a disintegration beam. If the situation becomes intolerable, he can probably break down the door and leave.

But you tell me Large Luigi is a cinnamon roll and also a chef. Dracula needs a chef, and he loves tormenting the pure of heart. (The two victims he chooses for himself in the novel are incidentally also the sweetest cinnamon rolls in the cast). Jonathan is sure he has no human servants inside the Castle ... but maybe he keeps Large Luigi and Undead Amelia Bedelia as kitchen staff. How well can Large Luigi roast a chicken? How does he feel about Evangelical vegetables?

Maybe he was there all along, he just wasn't relevant to Jonathan's journey

Anyway yeah my guess would be Large Luigi the Beholder can survive Castle Dracula. Maybe he and the monster eating Dungeon dude can be friends.

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

has anyone suggested greg house yet? i don't think he stands a chance but i'm interested in How exactly he'd die

I don't know House well, but doesn't he have a bad leg? I think he would have a lot of trouble making it down the wall, although he may be used to compensating with his upper body strength. If he does, I think he would have a doubly difficult time making it back to civilization without being caught by wolves or Girlies or starving to death his own self.

But that assumes he'd make it that long. Again, this is dashboard osmosis, but isn't House famously a colossal dick and openly disdainful of religion? I feel like a woman attempting to hang a crucifix on him would get an almighty tirade about her stupid superstitions. Which means Dracula kills him the first time he cuts himself.

On the other hand, I don't think that Dracula would be able to startle him into cutting himself. If Dracula sneaks up and puts hands on him, he'll probably roll his eyes and say something like "buy me a drink first." (....hang on didn't I say that about Brucie Wayne?) He strikes me as sort of depressedly unflappable and able to deadpan.

...on the other hand he might be depressed enough that he just jumps on out the window his own self with minimal prompting. But I don't know the character that well.

House's thing is that he's a brilliant diagnostician, right? I do think he'd live long enough to diagnose Dracula, mostly because I think Dracula would be morbidly fascinated to see if he can. He'll be like well you don't have lupus but you're anemic af, which is probably why your body temperature is so low you ought by all logic to be dead. Also that halitosis is something else, what have you been eating?

It is also my understanding that House requires an audience to really thrive. That will be hard to come by even if he can convince the Girlies to play along, which seems unlikely. On the other hand he is neither young nor full of energy, so maybe they're not so interested in eating him that they can't wait and see where this goes.

But yeah there's a limit to how much Dracula will tolerate being insulted to his face, and I don't know if that limit is measured in hours or days, but it certainly isn't in weeks or months. He'll be a jerk one too many times and Dracula will just kill him to have done. Or maybe he'll let him go just to see how long it takes the wolves to catch him.

Either way, Gregory House MD can not survive Castle Dracula

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

I said 45 feet because we calculated that as the hard minimum of the Castle Wall from a third story window not counting the cliff, on the possibility that he might be able to move around laterally until he could find something less sheer to stand on. If he has to go down the (thousand foot) cliff as well that's much much harder.

It's always a good sign when you read "the people who invented the technique died doing it" 😬

Hello! I saw the talk about climbs and I just wanted to help out with something about terminology without derailing any threads!

So, Free climbing is climbing with ropes (they are there to catch you when you slip) and protective gear. Can be with partners. Solo climbing means climbing alone, but may be free-climbing or aid-climbing, with ropes and maybe aid tools. So, if a climber says, "I soloed The Nose", it means without a partner, if "I freed", then with safety gear.

Free soloing is done alone and without anything for protection/safety. However, people are often confused because climbers also talk about free climbing and solo climbing. These are very different styles than free soloing that both involve ropes and are much more common in general, and particularly on big walls (like El Capitan).

So, if Jonathan Harker did the up-and-down-the-windows and down-the-castle without ropes, special shoes etc, then Jonathan free-soloed Castle Dracula.

Oooooh, thank you!

Yes, there are very definitively no ropes or other safety gear involved. He actually has to take his shoes off to find toe holds in the mortar - which Dracula does also.

So "free climbing" contrasts "aid climbing" in that it is with ropes but without aids? And if it's without anything at all that's "free soloing?"

Dracula climbs the Castle wall with no ropes or shoes and face downwards, in what Jonathan describes as "lizard fashion." Can we still call it soloing if he has a "partner" in the form of a captive solicitor looking on in horror from a nearby window?

Jonathan Harker climbs the wall equally barefoot and ropeless (and depending on your interpretation possibly while missing a third of his blood) but unobserved and feet first (rather than head first). So what you are saying is that is neither free climbing nor solo climbing (nor lizard fashion) but free soloing.

Thank you so much. I was definitely using the term wrong and will change the pinned post accordingly.

What would you say is the approximate difficulty of free-soloing a 45 foot wall with good mortar gaps for fingers and toes above a thousand foot cliff after two months of confinement and possibly while severely anemic, compared to other common climbing challenges?

(The other part of the escape involves traveling 100 miles over mountainous terrain with no supplies or protective clothing in no more than three days. Worst biathlon ever?)

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Squirrel Girl, from Marvel comics.

Pros: - Proportional speed, strength, and endurance of a squirrel, which is more than you would expect. - Talks to squirrels. Do squirrels count as vermin like rats do? - Tail (don't know if it would be relevant) - Ridiculously good at climbing - Super polite and would accept the crucifix, though I'm not sure if she'd wear it - Friends with Galactus Cons: - Drinkable

You mean the unbeatable Squirrel Girl? I do not know much about comic books but I do know that Squirrel Girl cannot be defeated. Can she be contained?

I think Squirrel Girl would be very easy for Dracula to underestimate. She's small and cute and cheery - she's going to be fun for him to break. What will he do when he realizes he just can't get to her? Will he admit defeat or try harder?

I honestly don't know if Dracula has dominion over squirrels. They're diurnal I think so possibly not. Do Squirrel Girl's powers extend to other small mammals, such as bats? If it were not for the fact that Castle Dracula supports no life, it would be very funny for them to have a Squirrel Off, where Dracula can't understand why the squirrels no longer obey his will. Of course, if he figures out that it's Squirrel Girl doing it, he'll be Big Mad.

You mention her being an excellent climber which makes sense with the whole Squirrel thing. It might even mean that the window is her preferred point of egress. Squirrels don't need doors (pshaw!)

Dracula likes to hear himself talk, and Squirrels are famous chatterers. Will he find ger a welcome conversationalist? ... or just deeply, deeply irritating? No, you said she was super polite. I... don't see Dracula being invested enough to rescue her from the Girlies though. Would she get herself into that situation in the first place?

You mentioned she was friends with Galactus. How small of nibbled can he take? Would he eat Castle Dracula (and just Castle Dracula) if she asked?

Squirrels being diurnal, she might suffer under this strange nocturnal existence. But with the endurance of a squirrel she should pull through. And it sounds like she can just leave whenever, and once back in Squirrel territory (that is, outside the castle) I don't think either wolves or vampires would prove much of a problem for her.

I really only know the unbeatable Squirrel Girl by reputation, but that reputation is that she can absolutely survive Castle Dracula

[canyourfavesurvivecastledracula]

Some stuff re: Ghost Pokemon being dead people: it's only really a few of them explicitly stated to be that way (Phantump, Yamask [and thus Trevenant and Cofagrigus by proxy, since that's what they evolve into], and Gengar in USUM), and even then you could very easily theorize that the Pokedex is just describing urban legends about those particular guys and it's not ACTUALLY true. Some of the Pokedex info is a bit... off at times (IE Magcargo's body temp being hotter than the sun)

I will admit that is a relief