I hate it here x Fitz Vacker (12/16 years old)
“Quick, quick, tell me something awful, like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy” is the friendship with Keefe, as both their life are abnormal, and they find pretty ways to word it better. To make themselves breathe easier.
“Tell me all your secrets, all you’ll ever be is my eternal consolation prize”: all the Foxfire girls turning around him cause he’s handsome and a Vacker, while not understanding him, and this popularity being like a consolation prize for all the pressure he puts on himself, all the weirdness of living between the worlds.
“You see I was a debutante in another life but now I seem to be scared to go outside”: he was seen as king of teenage, king of school, and then, after book 2, he can’t go outside, he can’t get in life, he screams his anger whenever, his friend has been kidnapped, his father’s mind broke, and it may have been temporary but it scarred him.
“If comfort is a construct, I don’t believe in good luck”: being a Vacker. He knows he has privileges, but he doesn’t really feel them in any other way than pressure.
“Now that I know what’s what, I hate it here”: with the story unraveling, all the secrets hidden by the Council, learning all the flaws, now Fitz probably feels like the Lost Cities are less shiny as they seemed when he was a child sent away.
“So I will go to secret gardens in my mind”: before finding Sophie, the Forbidden Cities may have been such a haven, like there, he was a kid, learning about life, on a secret mission but without the prestige of his family name. Now, it’s in his mind only.
“People need a key to get to, the only one is mine”: the fact that he doesn’t trust easily, that he won’t open up.
“I read a book about it in a book when I was a precocious kid”: maybe he read the book. But he probably read a lot as escapism, and human books to learn about them. And he was precocious. Manifested very early.
“I’m there most of the year cause I hate it here”: he goes to the Forbidden Cities. He isn’t “here”, in the Lost Cities.
“My friends used to play a game where we would pick a decade we wished we could live instead of this”: used to cause the second Sophie arrived, he can’t play anymore. And he’d pick any other time just to not be himself.
“ I’d say the 1830’s but without all the racists and getting married for the highest bid”: he is basically living that. It’s not racism but there is discrimination he grew conscious of, and there is the matchmaking…
“Everyone would look down cause it wasn’t fun now”: we tend to get annoy at him cause apparently he ruins things. But he points things out too. He is embarrassing.
“Seems like it was never even fun back then”: I doubt he has ever had fun in his life. He’s been on a mission since he was SIX. And he daydreams it.
“Nostalgia is a mind-trick, if I’d been there, I’d hate it”: till being re-integrated in the Lost Cities cause he can now follow classes normally, but still, he doesn’t fit with his image, he hates it everywhere.
“It was freezing in the palace”: about how Everglen can feel, it’s a palace and sure, they love each other, but they put such high standards, it’s cold.
“I hate it here so I will go to, lunar valleys in my mind”: he goes in himself when he can’t breathe. He paints the light in his brain.
“When they found a better planet”: the idea, again, that he feels trapped in this world.
“Only the gentle survived”: he wish for gentleness
“I dreamed about it in the dark, the night I felt like I might die”: so. Yeah. He probably gets very anxious in the middle of the night for anything, during the mission, and even after. Worries about not finding Sophie. About something going wrong. About the way he is perceived. About everything really.
“I’m lonely but I’m good, I’m bitter but I swear I’m fine”: no one really knows him deep down, except Keefe, and they get separated about Sophie. So it’s lonely. He is bitter, he is angry, but he still puts up a pretty facade, he still pretends, cause he has to in order to hold on.
“I’ll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I’ll get lost on purpose”: 12/13 yo. Lost in between worlds he doesn’t really belong. Losing himself in one to not face the other. Hiding how he is inside.
“This place made me feel worthless”: he thinks he’s never enough cause he doesn’t hear “I’m proud of you” enough, cause he plays a role, he has to be the golden child, or at least act like it.
“Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me and in my fantasies, I rise above it”: the lucid dreams are the only thing he has real control upon, but for the real life, he is drowning, trying to keep things in order with the world collapsing.
“And way up there, I actually love it”: the hope to find his place someday.
13 notes
·
View notes
U GET MEEEE HE IS BLUE AND GOLD CODED (its the royalty talking) BUT ALSO DID U REALLY SPARE HIM FOR ME .... IF SO IM INDEBTED TO U 🙏🙏🙏🙏 i was honeslty surprised he was still up for grabs. as always i got a giggle out of ur tags THANK YOU!!!!
Every time I draw Fitz I'm like hmm what color suits him and EVERY TIME I'm like hmm what about a medium blue with gold accents. rip fitz he'll never experience a mediocre salmon button up </3
Also yeah, I was going down the list to see who I'd want to draw, and I got to Fitz and was like Oh!! I love Fitz!! but wait--mellie is The Fitz Artist. I can't take that from him. no guarantee he'd get it but I can't be the one to take it from him. so I left him hoping he'd land in your hands. AND HE DID!!!
I took amy, tam, and linh instead--and let me tell you. my plan is to wait until their competition day and then post their portraits, but I LOVE how Linh's turned out so much I'm DESPERATE to share it the wait is agony she looks so lovely
also yeah yeah!! put on this earth to gush in my friends' tags and all that <3
12 notes
·
View notes