#yeah im kinda getting sick of this
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hellooo idk if my brain was just making things up or whatever but i swear you had a post responding to an ask abt older bf!ghost but i can't find it on your page. was it deleted ??
it's still up it just got flagged within 24 hours of being up . im like actually kinda getting pissed abt it it's been every one of my smut fics like not even a day after i posted it lately and im pretty sure someones fuckin stalking and reporting them
fuck it maybe i'll just start posting my smut fics on ao3 jesus
#— ask!#sorry for ranting oops#yeah im kinda getting sick of this#i try not to care about notes and shit but thats still kinda the point of being here#and it's super discouraging when it's cut off before people even get the chance to fuckin read it#whatever
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page full o' hobies 🎸
top pose inspired by @spectra-bear
process pics under da cut ↓
#mine#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#well YEEHAW im finally finished with this#after 3 trips to the craft and dollar store to buy stuff i needed#this page is FINALLY done good lord#its been... 3 weeks? since i 1st started this?#needless to say im sick of looking at this thing#im simultaneously kinda scared to post this bc im not 100% happy with it#but at the same time im like… so ready to just post this thang and be DONE with it#never lookin at this again jfc im sick of it#i love hobie dont get me wrong and i love drawing his face#but geeze louise#me doodling this while crying: hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hATES CONSISTENCY 😭😭😭#thats my excuse for not really uhhh getting his face down 100%#also god yeah i didnt get his skin nearly as dark as i wanted cuz uhhhh#ya boi was workin with shitty dollar store crayons#im ngl i kinda.... miss my alcohol markers :/ but whatever ig i did what i could lol
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[asmr boyfriend voice] woof woof bark bark
#hermitaday#rendog#rendog fanart#hermitblr#hermitcraft fanart#ren#my art#did i ever tell you guys me getting mcyt at all was because i watched lizzies last life pov late at night while i was sick#and ren just. stole my heart#i knew nothing about him or hermitcraft at a time i was just like this guy is so fucking weird. i need to know more#and when i searched him up the first thing i got was the inappropriate compilation#really good first impression. never recovered from it#so yeah my mental state currently is rendogs fault#anyway ive always kinda had trouble drawing him. had to pull up alot of references for this one but i think this is the happiest ive been#-with his design.#idk what it is. i think it's partially because rens got a very model like face irl and im intimidated. guy could be selling watches.#the beard + glasses combo also messes with me i think#he always looks so accursed before i slap the facial hair on him#uhhh i don't think i have any other thoughts to say. good boy good boy goodboy good boy good boy#i might make a postmortem on hadm later on rn im tired. would be fun i think. id get to finish my scrapbook
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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would you drink the persona 3 reload tartarus tziah block water
How did you know?
#i've been getting sick on and off for the past 2 months#and it all began after i ate something weird#so yeah i would def drink tartarus water#also im kinda dead at the moment too#sorry if this ask was kinda late#persona 3 reload
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theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh
#taylor.txt#im miserable primarily for other reasons right now but i dont think i appreciated how much this just…wouldnt feel like anything#i think especially in my case as someone who so desperately needed ‘going away to college’ to get out of my childhood situation#and now for the past 5 years everything ive done has been for the purpose of getting my degree and finishing school#like im fine i guess i just kind of wish i could feel proud of myself or happy its over instead of like dreading the ceremony and feeling#like everything i have to do for grad is just one more thing i have to check off a list. getting my grad photos done felt nice but idk#it kind of feels like no one really cares which. idk why i would expect it to NOT feel that way. but yeah#tl;dr im around Kinda…need to finish stuff up but im over the really busy part of this all. kinda just coasting to the end here tbh#when this is over i’m gonna get to my request fics. prommy. wanted to do them over the long weekend but i was sick :(#anyway like to be clear im fine. people have been pointing out today i seem down and i think embarrassingly a collection of my students#noticed me crying on the bus today but thats life i guess you make do. im sad and thats ok. tbh
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funny to think while ayano & haruka were plagued by The Horrors shintaro was just an asshole for NO apparent reason other than he felt like it and takane was just. living her damn life. just a girl in the world....
#jin: i offer you takane enomoto. kagepro's most fleshed out female character#us: yaaay!#jin: so she's ene right. well in the past she was sick.... and get this.... she was... IN LOVE!#us: that's an interesting character point worth exploring past 'it makes me grumpy' can we see more of that#jin: you'd be right. that's why the illness is such a relevant part of haruka's story...#us: haruka??? takane. we were talking about takane#jin: ah yes takane. well you see she is in love with haruka#us: okay yes you said that#jin: well yeah. then he dies and she's sad.#us: RIGHT AND??#jin: and.... she moves on to get obsessed with shintaro! yayyy!!#kagevinnie#the point im trying to make is that its crazy that ene is such an important AND SUPER EXPLORED character in kagepro yet you still have#to kinda analyze her yourself to find her depth?? especially during the hs days not so much as post aug 15 and having opening eyes#i think the media that best portrays her are the songs but since they are songs it also requires analysis#whereas almost everyone else gets their lives a lot more fleshed out...#pre aug15 takane has so many little bits they never explore cuz haruka's made so much more relevant than anything else but theyre THERE#hs quartet ayano and haruka have their whole stuff and while shintaro isnt explored back then he IS a burnout gifted kid with depression#and takane's just. she has a crush teehee#anyways#on one hand it pisses me off on the other i just. love how unbothered takane is.
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i hopped on call with my friends today and had a lot of fun hanging out with them 🥺 bee drew a fuckton of shit i have to share them....
kevin's here because milo and i expressed our hype in watching the next spooky month annual episode and ofc kevin my beloved was worth mentioning SHHDDGSHEJEZ i miss him so much I wanna go back to him <3
maroon belongs to bee and clear belongs to nero! they have such wonderful goofies <3
#while i was on call i realized i had a growing fever developing but being with you guys made me feel less dizzy 😭#idk why im getting sick a lot lately kinda worried#but aside from that!!#guys look at bees drawings pls hes so talented i love it!!!!#im actuslly so happy man#yesterday was so exhausting but i got this all for free and im just akskdjjdjddjjss thank you!!!!!!#and you guys ofc are all so goofy ily#fucking explosing at the painted steven drawing RAAAGGGH HES SO HANDSOME#i caj finally see chonky red HSHSHAHDHAHS HES SO HANDSOME WIWIWIWIWIWIW#it was also really fun watching bee draw irl because i really adore her style#YEAH ANYWAYS!!! YOU GUYS MADE ME FEEL BETTER TODAY LOVE U#pokespe parents#~ lovely gifts#bee tag#nero tag#milo tag#<- still mentioning u just cuz <3#♥️ memoryshipping#♥️ appleshipping#jaide (mangaverse).insert#jaide (gameverse).insert#ill go mention kevin too why not hehe#kevin.crsh
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The Doctor turning into women and having romantic dalliances with men is every kind of queer...to me.
#EMH (pretending to be B'Elanna after having just SPRINTED down the hall): You wouldn't shoot a pregnant woman would you ??;;#Tuvok: (in the most 'give it up' tone possible) ...Come with Me doctor =_=#Tuvok gets docked points for falling for the ol' 'cough cough im sick' excuse but gains them all back by getting suspicious and starting#an investigation all on his own in the background <3#Also Janeway being held captive and being just kinda pissed about the whole situation...yeah#HEHEHE I like this episode it's funny but also the stakes are high#Janeway sort of smirking and doing the 'come here' motion when that alien man was like 'do you know how to fix this?' - her swag.....#Janeway (captive and stressed beyond belief about the warp core): Yeah I have time to serve dom vibes#Tuvok - Chakotay - Janeway: Each having uniquely bad days#(Worst Security disaster ever - Got put in a morgue for hours - Held captive and threatened with death: + Voyager stranded)#I know Chakotay was unconscious for the morgue thing but still#Chakotay: -opens his eyes to see Tuvok standing there-#(they share a look like 'yeah it's some LIFE THREATENING scooby doo bullshit again')#Hey Chakotay maybe next time don't tell the imposter that you know they're an imposter right to their face <3#Just some tactical strategy for next time <3 <- I love him I'm just being a bitch HEHEHE it was funny to me#Doctor: Hey I know we're in the middle of a serious thing here but like. Why don't we. You know. Hang out???#Janeway: -sharp intake of breathe- ......ohhhh I don't really...DO hanging out.#YAY NAR~!!!!! GET HIS ASS~!!!#Nar I hope you live a simple but fulfilling life as a junk dealer or whatever it is you were talking about god bless <3#Doctor: Now that I might die I have some last requests v_v Captain...throw my diary away. DO NOT. READ IT. Tuvok...I told Neelix about that#rash you got on your ass. We laughed about it for weeks. Sorry.#and then I smile and giggle and ass 'ass rash' to the Tuvok lore#SNRKEHEHE DAMN. HE GOT HARRY TOO???#'Sorry I said you sucked absolute shit at playing the saxophone. I should have phrased it more delicately...damn it. It all becomes so clea#when you face the end.' (Harry: You said w hat????) SEVEN-!!#Seven: Stay over there computer boy =_=#SNRKEHEHEHHEHHAHAHAH#Janeway:....Is he...? / B'Elanna: NO. I've got him =_= I just deleted all that spam. He's FINE.#livetweeting
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im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...
#kuwameshi#give me a sec i'll reblog later with the actual idea but like#WHAT IF UM KUWAMESHI BUT UM. PRINCESS BRIDE AU...#i also have another song fic idea but it's way sillier than the one i have on ao3#based off you me and steve by garfunkel and oates#i got the idea cos i just remembered when yusuke got back from training with genkai the 1st time and instead of a 1 on 1 date with keiko#kuwabara is also? there? and it's just so funny to me like what. and then they're supposed to all 3 go to the movies together?#AND WHEN THEY GET THERE THE 2 BOYS DITCH KEIKO?? for a mission yeah but she doesn't know that!!#and then yusuke and keiko actually go on a date alone and it gets interrupted cos of younger toguro#and shortly after kuwabara shows up so it looks like he was bound to come across them??#as far as a i remember the next time yu and keiko get together alone is the day he tells her to just wait and she's like im literally#not gonna wait for you <3 and it was so funny she just walked off lmaoo#anyway im trying to say i wanna make a silly little fic addressing the fact that keiko is like. pursuing her crush on yusuke#but kuwabara is kinda just. always there and it's fun she does like him but it's just awkward#planning on having her ask kuwa to maybe give her and yusuke some time alone like maybe just avoid their next outing#and kuwa is like oh damn :( ok good luck and yusuke shows up to the date and he's like woah wait. where tf is kuwabara?#keiko is like bruh. and she makes up some shit about him mentioning that he felt sick or wtv and yusuke is like ''then y are we here?#i should check on him. i dont think that guy has even been put outta commission by anything but my fist!'' and keiko just follows him#cos what else can she do. and kuwa is fine ofc and yusuke is like bro what gives i thought you were sick and kuwa is dense sometimes but he#catches on from keiko's desperate look and he's like well i got better *flexes his arm* and yu is like i knew you were too dumb to catch#a cold. and he's stupid happy that kuwa is fine and can come with them after all ''hey he's fine ya hear that keiko''#and then keiko is watching this whole exchange eyes blown wide open and she's like actually i just remembered i have plans#you two should totally go without me tho and yu agrees so easily that it just solidifies that she made the right call#kuwa is looking back at her all confused and she gives HIM the good luck thumbs up. he gets as red as his hair and#yusuke is worried he really is coming down with something
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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.
#point blank period#in the spirit of being hot and sad lemme vent in the tags#my uncle died the other day and my emotions haven’t really been the same since#and it’s like yeah i cried when i found out but he was old and sick I’ve already accepted it#but yet little situations make me sad more than what they did the week prior#I’ve been sharing my history with self harm with the people in my life but it’s never really been in an ideal way#I’ve kinda just been dropping random ‘jokes’ here and there and that’s not fair#but there’s no real way to bring shit up organically#im 7 years sober from self harm and i 100% don’t wanna self harm there’s nothing to worry about with me#but i feel very generically sad in a way that’s hard to explain#yes I’m dealing with grief to an extent but it feels like nothing is wrong and yet everything is wrong#you cant just say im generically sad and get taken seriously so I’m just here
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I'm so god damn disorganized how the hell do I write all of my words crumble to dust someone tell me to finish this I need motivation
#pokemon x reader#fem reader#lacey pls give me strength#to be fair this is how most of my early thoughts are before getting cleaned up/refined and orgnaized#but the words are like just falling out of my brain and not thoughting in a straight line beaming onto the page#if that makes sense#yeah i know the crop is weird but i cant be bothered to try again#im so sleepy the drugs i was taking when i was sick had nyqwil in them#it didn't make it any easier to fall asleep but when i was out i was OUT and it was kinda great#now im just tired and on my period hurmph
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every time i hear someone say they dont get flu(/covid god forbid) vaccines bc the vaccines just make them sick anyways (or, "i catch it right after!", another misconception of cause and effect) i wanna throw them off a bridge. like. what are you TALKING about. if your body is so frail that a vaccine affected you so badly you should be GLAD you got the vaccine! if the dead virus did that to you imagine what the real, live one would do to u! but now ur body knows how to fight it if that happens! so be fucking grateful you absolute dingdong
#i kinda wish vaccines made me sick bc then id at least feel like its doing something#i just get aches on the affected vaccine arm for certain ones and otherwise get nothin#then im like oh god what if it didnt even work#anyways yeah#i didnt get covid until december 2022 and likely only bc i stopped getting boosters since i literally never left my home#then my mom took me to a concert and my untouched immunity was like oh fuck what#lesson goddamned learned too! covid SUCKS
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📖🖊❄️
#journal dump bc i have too much on my mind#1) i HATE my neighbors. theres never one quiet moment. they stomp around and slam cabinets all the time it feels like#2) i've been reading more recently even if concentration's hard bc of noise. but i also feel like there r too many books i wanna read#but yeah. too little time. so instead i cant settle on a book and kinda dont even read as much as i want to. a stupid problem really#3) it's crazy to say but i wish i had a part time job. sitting at home 24/7 for 5/6 years has been SO terrible for me.#everything feels meaningless. every day is the exact same. im not LIVING. im rotting away and all my issues get worse. im also so fkn bored#and i dont wanna sit at home and do assignments (even if thats what i technically should be doing)#i want a job to go to which takes me away from home + gives me money#then i can come home and sit and rot and ENJOY it. bc now my lazy time is only smth negative and bad for me :/#ofc i hate the mere thought of having some soul sucking utterly pointless job and our capitalist society is a slave hellhole. but.. as it is#im not even able to enjoy ANY of my time bc all my time feels bad. plus im only getting poorer and poorer so i cant afford to buy anything#4) im so fkn bored and going crazy from eating the exact same food every single day for the third month now. im sick of it#everything tastes so bland and disgusting. it's genuinely making me depressed 😭 i wanna eat REAL food. im so tired bc no nutrition :((#i cant do anything except wait for my appt w the doctor next week and hope they put me on a waiting list for surgery.. but ong im sick of it#5) i miss my sisters :/ we live in the same apartment but its like i've completely ceased to exist to them#except when they need to be passive aggressive to me. lol. i miss them. but they just dont wanna talk to me :/#but tbh. most of all... i just want my health issue to be over so my body can function normally again.#i can face anything in life if i can come home to a cup of coffee nd some chocolate ^-^ <333
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cant smell,,,cant taste,,,,,,this is so homophobic
#yeah im still kinda sick from my vaccines :(#ive never had this bad of a reaction before i think i got SICK with a cold on top of all of it#really the worst part is not being able to smell or taste this is literally SO horrible#ooc.#tbd.#im gonna start one of those scent therapy kits if it doesnt go away within the next few days#because fuck you#i didnt spend hundreds of dollars on my oil perfume collection over the years just for my sense of smell to get fucked up#you will not take it from me...
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