#yeah the inspiration is booming rn my heart is full

[memphis-menace]

MAY THE HEAVENS BLESS YOU FOR THE WAY YOUVE STRUCK MY SOUL WITH LIGHTNING 😫😫

My heart feels like it’s SOARING! I can’t even make food rn all I can do is obsess over gator Elvis 😫😫😫😫

Thank you THANK YOU SO MUCH

I want to share with you a couple photos of Elvis with a gatory look in his eye! I hope you like them!

AAAAAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’m so glad you like my gator boy!!!!!

I honestly didn’t expect so many people to like him but WOW it seems he’s chomped his way into many hearts!

And YES I LOVE THESE IMAGES THANK YOU. Usually when I think of/draw gator siren Elvis it’s Austin!Elvis, but perhaps I should draw some real Elvis as a gator as well 👀

[primordialangels]

Howdy!

Hey there everynyan....! I just wanted to say, I'm moving accounts...!!

Yes, you read that right! I have had this tumblr for 10+ long years, and I've finally decided to live my true 90s/00s dreams and disconnect almost completely from social media, haha. Here are some reasons for this shift under the cut. Thank you for reading if you do, and peace out! ☆

I realized recently that I have never taken a real true break from tumblr, and that I've been on here now every week of my life for a literal decade-- Since I was like 13 or so! Which is just, like. Crazy. I just think my brain deserves a break, yanno what I mean?

Because while I was on this road trip away from everything online, I realized just how wonderful the world can be when you're not constantly comparing yourself to everything online-- Especially artistically!! And I wanna say this too-- even if you tell yourself, "I'm not comparing myself to all these other artists/sexy people!" Yes. Yes you are. You're doing it even right now I bet. Because it's a subconscious process human beings can't just turn on or off! It just happens on it's own wether we want it to or not! And I realized that becuz the ONLY time I felt artistically shitty on my trip was when I visited a comic book shop, lmao!! I thought "oh god I gotta get better, these guys are so fucking good" but like, I didnt even mean to! I didn't think I was comparing myself at all! But it was like, AS SOON as I saw other cartoonists. BOOM. instantly felt bad haha. So? That told me that I've been feeling that way near CONSTANTLY by being on social media ever since I was 13 years old!! That's literally insane. No wonder I can't "see myself" while others can! I've constantly been (subconsciously) putting myself down for not "being good enough" when in actuality, I'm perfectly fine just how I am! It was hugely eye-opening for me and made me really rethink my reason for using social media, and tumblr in particular since it's, ofc, been my favorite for such a long time...

And so when I started wondering what reason I have for using tumblr, n I realized that I've been telling myself, "I'm using it to gain artistic inspiration!"-- But like..... How much inspo do you need to gather until it's enough? I think I have enough inspiration on this account to use for the rest of my life, really!! lmao! So I want to actually start using the inspiration i've already gained instead of acquiring more n more n more of it, yanno? I just think it's like, lol... My head is full enough! Time to use what i've gained rather than continue to squander it! It's that sort of thing...!

And Ik we like to joke that tumblr is the anti-social media-- But... The sad truth is, it really isn't! I realized when I was meditating recently that all social media acts just like a slot machine. You pull down the screen and refresh and new fun stuff to look at pops up. And even tho yes, followers aren't a big deal here like they are elsewhere-- Tumblr is still no different, becuz it uses that same exact model, yanno? And so.... Yeah....! I just... Haha, idk. I wanna try n use the internet in a more classical way, is all.

So... Yeah! I just wanted to provide a bit of insight into my mindset rn idk, lol.

My new account is > AncientMachine (yes same name haha, I love it!) And on there I won't be reblogging much of anything. It'll just be text posts/my thoughts and feelings, maybe photography n doodles, manga caps, etc etc that sorta thing. A truly personal experience, I would say. So, if you don't feel like following a diary sort of blog, I totally understand, and I just wanna say thank you so much for the time you spent together with me here, especially within these past 2 years. Tumblr has been there for me when often times, no one else has. I've learned a lot by being here. And I think that's truly special, and I cherish this account with all my heart. I won't be deleting it, it'll stay up and act as my own personal archive-- but yeah...! I think it's time I finally move onto new horizons. I hope you'll join me on this brand new personal journey, but even if you don't, that's alright, and so long!! Have fun and good luck out there-- I'll see ya around! ☆

-- Lucky <3

[ofmerrit]

*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *

alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.

starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”

merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 

the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.

life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.

doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 

she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf

personality stuff !!!

uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 

can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .

the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip

LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 

an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??

loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .

extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3

likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.

i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 

has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip

!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it

safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 

UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !

connection ideas !!!

childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 

penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.

a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.

betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )

exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .

bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk

saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step

a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .

a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 

ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward

these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 

something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.

give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl

[theproofinthisong]

WALLS REVIEW

i’m back for my review of walls!!

kill my mind: the perfect opening for the album & to announce the new era. i remember listening to it for the first time and my jaw dropping because i didn’t expect that sound & at the same time, it made total sense. it’s not my favorite genre personally but this track is so audacious and amazing. it’s probably the one that is the most different from louis’ previous sounds (in the band or solo stuff) and he’s giving us LIFE with the pop punk bop we always dreamed of. his voice is unique in every song but it especially stands out in this one, particularly at the beginning of the track. it’s such a fierce catchy and energetic track, you want to scream it at the top of your lungs. this is the type of song that makes the crowd lose its shit live. can’t wait to see it. the gimmicks in this one (the aaaah aaah part and the kill my kill my at the end mostly) are so clever, you hear them one time and boom, they can’t leave your mind, it’s witchcraft. i love the contrast between the very high and very low notes, they’re just perfection. AND THE BELTING!!! it’s hot. the earlier pop inspirations are pretty much there and it’s such a wonderful tribute. no wonder why louis loves this track so much. it’s gold and very very bold. 

don’t let it break your heart: see, the first time i listened to the new tracks (at ccme), i was instantly captivated by defenceless & habit. dliby was not a favorite instantly. but it became one. i don’t know why THE FUCK i didn’t pick as a favorite right on the spot. because it is a godsent. like hell!!! the nostalgia!! the raw emotion!! the hope it’s giving you!! the goosebumps!! and OH MY GOD louis’ voice in his...one of his best vocals. like period. it’s so soft and so strong at the same time. it’s so full of feelings, like the vulnerability!! the song speaks to me so much. AND OH MY GOD THE ALBUM VERSION!!! the single one was already extraordinary but the album arrangment makes it even more perfect and delicate!!! the writing in this one makes me cry, it’s so to the point and honest, like you can feel his heart beating in it. it’s the kind of music you carry with you. i know decades from now, it will remind me of my youth and the happy times i had back then. god i’m already sobbing.

two of us: honestly, there are no words for this one. it’s above everything. it’s without a doubt louis’ most personal and gutwrenching track. it’s not the one i listen to the most because it’s painful and so real. you can feel every crack, every hurdle, every tear, every ounce of desperation, every bit of newfound hope. i have a personal connection to this one because i experienced what louis is talking about. i lost my dad when i was 16, a little younger than louis. and oh my god the words he uses to talk about it and his grief is what i felt and still feel. those songs where EVERY WORD could be applied to you and your situation almost never happen. it’s a miracle. so yeah, it hurts to listen to it. but it also makes me really happy. i feel understood, i feel a kinship to him. and while i have no doubt everyone can relate to this song and have it resonating with them, losing a parent is a very specific kind of grief. and i never saw someone describing it so well in a song. his voice is so angelic in this. it’s so controlled but at the same time it’s on the verge of collapsing everytime and never does. god. if i had to pick a song to have as a tattoo, i will pick this one for sure. what a masterpiece.

we made it: BLOODY WE MADE IT. one of the most IN YOUR FACE larry songs out of walls (even if they all are) and i’m dying. it’s easily in my top 3 of louis’ songs performed live. THE POWER. THE CERTAINTY OF IT ALL. like his voice is so assured in this while still being able to be vulnerable and fragile. HOW?? HOW CAN YOU DO IT?? it’s one of the sappiest love songs i’ve ever heard but those are my weakness and fave. what a beautiful declaration. the lyrics are...well i still can’t believe they’re real. he deadass told us everything about his relationship with harry and how they were able to overcome all the obstacles thrown in their faces. in terms of melody, it’s a 10000000/10. you can’t help but sing it with him. it’s wonderfully produced, like the best kind of pop. it has a bit of those oasis vibes (walls and dlibyh also have them) which i’m a HUGE fan of. it’s such an effective single, like i can’t even count the times i listened to it. fucking treasure.

too young: another case of a song i adored the minute i listened to it, but it wasn’t as intense as with others. now it’s truly one of my most cherished tracks out of the album. the opening lines simply kill you, it’s whispered, it’s tender, it’s!!!! too much for my heart!! i’m swooning. i love that he doesn’t push his voice there, it stays at a low level and it makes it even more louder, in a way?? you feel like he’s speaking to only one person (who?? i wonder...), it’s so intimate i almost feel like intruding?? it’s a fucking gift. in terms of writing, it’s also one of my favorite because there are no filters. it tells the story without fear. louis just spilled his whole heart out in his track and that’s so fucking admirable. a jewel we need to protect.

walls: FIRST THE FUCKING INSTRUMENTAL. it fucking ruined me. someone said this song was like a late night conversation and it’s true. walls is probably the song that shows his personal growth the most, like louis couldn’t have written this song five years ago. it’s so grown. it’s so wise. so full of life and conclusions you made. it’s peaceful. it’s reassuring. i don’t know how a song can make you feel all of that but it does. and the lyrics are one of his best. it’s so significative at times (the goodbyes line for example), but metaphorical also (the cardboard full of clothes lines IS GENIUS and the walls one...obviously the best) and opening the song with a sentence and ending it with it is...pure magic. it’s clever but not only. it shows how much he went through and how he’s healing from it and how it helped him, in a way. and the voice. liquid honey. bye.

habit: legend snapped when he included the princess park line. what a chaotic larrie. i expected nothing less from him. i love the melody, it’s so catchy and happy!! it’s kind of a break after the rollercoaster you just went through. very needed. i’m still having a breakdown over it though. it’s such a cute ballad and beautiful love song. you just wanna move your head to it, it makes you truly happy. sunshine in a song form. like i’m smiling rn. and you can hear louis smiling while singing it too!!! it’s...wow. he’s able to communicate his feelings in a manner no other artist can. i will never get tired of it.

always you: we did our waiting. we were fucking starved. now we’re being fed babes!! miss always you is so iconic. the melody is ingrained in my brain after hundred times of listening to that damn snippet. the things i would do for louis. i love what he does with his voice in this, like he’s changing tones and going from one note to another like a champ. this song is so fucking hard to sing and louis is the ONLY one who can master it. shows how unique his voice is. i’m in love with the high parts and the chorus. dang. that’s a song. tell me that this song isn’t THE SHIT. it’s iconic as fuck. and it’s so lovely. still haven’t recovered from all the baby and home mentions. ALSO the legs wrapped around me line??? kill me please!!! i do not thank you.

fearless: now that’s an adjective that comes to mind while talking about louis. the verses aren’t my favorite melody wise but omg the bridge and the chorus!! he did that!!! it’s also the song where he’s singing the lowest (that head voice bitch) and omg. for now it isn’t in my top but i know it will grow on me and i can’t wait.  the lyrics are amazing nonetheless.

perfect now: we know it’s louis’ least favorite track and it’s mine too. it’s still louis though so still amazing. just like fearless, the verses aren’t my favorite part but same, the bridge and the chorus are wonderful. it’s pretty soft. also this is a song about harry (you steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed??) but some sentences can be applied to family and it’s such a nice & encouraging track to listen to when you think about the people you love. it’s very happy. makes you feel loved and exactly where you should be. and as always, his voice is to die for in it.

defenceless: to the surprise of exactly nobody, it’s my favorite song out of walls. it was love at first sight. you cannot explain it. it just is. in terms of writing, it’s my personal favorite (especially “sleeping on our problems and we’ll solve them in our dreams” which is pure poetry...the talent, the impact...i’m dying. also i put this quote everywhere i could, i’m OBSESSED with it). it tucks at your heartstrings, like it’s a very hopeful song but at the same time it’s full of memory of heartbreaks. i could bawl talking about it. harry and louis’ situation is impossible to describe and to comprehend. the things and contradictory feelings they had to face..i can’t even imagine. but he gives us a full glimpse of it in this song. and it’s so fucking brave to be this honest. it takes so much courage and trust. and i’m just in awe. artistically speaking, it’s a fucking tour de force. but like personally, what it means to louis...oh god. i’m dead. and THE MOTHERFUCKING FALSETTO. louis almost never uses it and oh my god. it’s breathtaking. it’s what you hear when you enter heaven. no one, fucking no one, has this kind of falsetto. it’s so special. it makes me wanna die. it’s too much for my heart. my god.

only the brave: it would have been ALSO my favorite song out of walls it it was longer. because it’s...i’m speechless. also very oasis but very louis. and sorry, but it’s better than oasis will ever be. there i said it. the lyrics are objectively the best out of the album, like i’m a slut for metaphors and they’re everywhere in here. i don’t know how to qualify it really but it has this anthem like quality? i can see the arena and thousands of people singing it back to louis. it reminds me of home in the sense that it’s subtle but very blatant at the same time. like he wrote this for us gay people. that ache is there. the pain. the underlying anger. but the optimism. knowing the hurt but never wishing to go back. the vocal control is incredible in this, i’ll say it again, but the ability to switch to chest voice to head voice back to back...he’s one in a billion. there is an intention behind every line and you can feel it piercing your soul. gimme rest.

4 years in the making. i’m so glad i waited and was besides Louis through it all. i’m so fucking proud i could cry. it’s a masterpiece of an album. it has everything. simply everything. i couldn’t have dreamed something better. the voice, the melodies, the lyrics, the emotion, the confidence, the range, the diversity of sounds, the different influences and the way he’s able to bring the best out of them and make them this, the old pop vibe of it while remaining extra modern..it’s pure art. it’s what art should be. making you feel every emotion the artist wanted you to. no one does it better than louis. god. thank you.