#yeah vulpuz is crazy

[theredwallrecorder]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) pt 2

Huh. For the first time in forever I don’t actually know what to say here. I guess... stuff goes down? Martin and company find out that Hellgates isn’t all sand and brimstone. It’s a fox-eat-woodlander kind of place, where nothing is as it seems. I hear the god of that realm has it in for Martin. Really bad blood, you get me? I’m surprised Vulpuz hasn’t shattered the gates of Dark Forest just to get at him.

And let me tell you, the Great Vulpuz goes for the jugular.

Please enjoy Redwall Hell: The Anime pt 2, this time featuring Martin sass, a little magic, totes foreshadowing, and madness. Vulpuz has that in droves, see. He can’t help but share. They say sharing is caring, but there is such a thing as too much. All that sharing will attract her attention.

Here’s part 1 for those who have no idea what’s going on.

Also I oughta mention that I can’t take credit for all of Redwall Hell’s awesomeness. @raphcrow pretty much started this, and @thegoldensoundtwice is my partner in Redwall Hell crime. Bless you mateys for keepin’ the fires burning. <3

@fuzzhugs Martin vs. Hell, huh? Hell is a fox, mate, and that fox is REAL.

- - - - - -

Martin and his friends were speechless. The white fox remained seated upon Badrang’s old throne, watching them with an intense, almost unnerving curiosity. He flexed first one paw and then the other, each of his movements oddly erratic, as though he had been sitting waiting for them here for an age and a day, and since they had finally arrived, every last vestige of his pent-up energy could now be focused upon them. His gaze was sharp but distracted, constantly shifting from one of the company to another, and he seemed unable to sit still in his seat. Despite the constant fidgeting, he remained silent.

Confused by the fox’s baffling behavior, Martin struggled to find his voice. A feeling of mighty dread gripped his heart within his chest, and he suddenly became intimately aware of the fact that his best friends stood just behind him. Steeling himself, Martin locked eyes with the reclining vermin.

“I—”

A bemused giggle cut off the warrior mouse’s comment. The white fox shifted his weight to one side, his tail flicking dismissively. “Oh, do forgive me, mouse,” he quipped, unable to mask the dripping sarcasm in his tone. “Sometimes I find my merriment too difficult to contain! Pray, continue.”

His brow furrowed, Martin attempted to speak once more.

“Who—”

This time the fox guffawed aloud, only managing to halt his laughter by clamping both paws firmly around his mouth. It took a few moments for him to regain control of himself. Martin and his companions shifted uneasily.

“Goodness me, what trouble this gaiety has caused!” the fox declared to himself after he had relinquished his grip on his snout. His expressive voice danced across the ocean breeze, each syllable over-emphasized with curious whimsy. “I actually do care to hear what you have to say, Martin, so if you would grant me a second forgiveness, I promise you I will do all in my power to listen with grave reverence.”

Martin sensed the fox was mocking him, but he tried a third time all the same.

“Who are—”

The fox burst into uncontrollable laughter, echoes of gleeful insanity ringing out into the salty air. Lacking any sort of restraint, he gave full vent to his rude humor, bending forward in his seat and slapping his thigh repeatedly. Martin and his friends had no idea what to do. They waited in awkward silence until the fox’s merriment subsided. He dabbed at his eyes with a corner of his cloak, his chest heaving with exertion.

“Ah, bless me. This is more than I could ever had conjured, even if I had spent an age and a day building the perfect scheme.” The fox was all smiles as he gestured to Martin and his company. “Greetings and welcome! Come closer now, and make yourselves comfortable. I have so much I’ve been wanting to tell you!”

The six friends hesitated. Out of the corner of his mouth Gonff muttered, “Ah, don’t anybeast step backwards now, mates. The passage we just came out of is gone, and it’s a sheer drop to the channel below!” The abrupt news that their only escape route had vanished was startling, but the fox spoke again before any of them could react further.

“It is rude to whisper in company before a stranger, Prince of Mousethieves,” he chastised, eyes glittering with contained malice. “Of course the passage is gone. You cannot leave this place unless I will it.”

“Tell us who you are, fox,” Felldoh challenged, “before you attempt to amuse us with empty threats.”

The white fox rested his head in one paw, pinning the warrior squirrel in place with his intense gaze. “Felldoh the Wrestler. Oh, pardon, it’s just Felldoh isn’t it,” he admonished, lip curling upwards in a scornful sneer. “You see before you a vermin, but this one is far more than a mere beast.” The fox leaned forward upon his throne like a maniacal despot surveying his subjects. He spoke slowly, accentuating each word with deadly precision, his voice as cold as midwinter’s frost.

“I am the Claw that Drags the Corpses of your enemies into the bowels of the earth. I am the Eye in the Night, a fountain of obscuring mist, perpetuating and piercing the darkness. I am the gnashing of teeth, the splintering of bone, the crack of the whip, the shriek of the chain, the squeal of drawn steel. I am the Prophet of Abominations. Haha! I am the bosom containing the void of solitude. And yet, I am the emaciated shadow that lingers on the eve of war, rising to become the Insatiable Great Maw that follows behind and swallows all you hold dear.” He paused to lick his lips, as if to blissfully sample the infernal rust left behind by his last spoken syllable. He offered Rose a cheeky wink before continuing. “But perhaps my names are too much for you to comprehend. Very well. To borrow the tongues of the living, I am… the Great Vulpuz.”

In one regal movement he rose from his seat, throwing his arms out to either side, indicating the blue sky, the quarry, and the expanse of rocky coastline below them. “Behold! One of my many domains. Such fond memories you have of this place, warrior,” he mused, turning to look at Martin with profound pity, his head shaking in disgust. “Though it was not the first stage of your many failures, I must assert that it was the most glorious. Ha ha! A kingdom for a rose! What a pleasure to delight in the folly of a warrior’s youth. Tell me, how is it that you can even find the strength to look upon her?”

A low rumble issued from deep within Dinny’s chest. The normally peaceable mole flexed his digging claws aggressively as he and Gonff drew up behind Martin. A scowl wreathed the mousethief’s face, the sunlight reflecting off the knife he had just drawn playing across his brow. “That’s mighty low, even for a fox,” he muttered dangerously. “Do you always insult the creatures you’ve just met?”

Laterose moved to respond in kind, but Martin stopped her with the gentle touch of his paw. He flashed the three of them a grateful smile before turning to face Vulpuz squarely, his voice as steady and strong as sandstone.

“There was a time I would have been baited by your words, but now I simply find them annoying. Release us to go our own way.”

“’Release us to go our own way!’” Vulpuz repeated in a mocking tone. “Hmph, what a contemptuous bundle of useless words! My answer to them is ‘no’, since I’ve only experienced a measly shred of the entertainment I intend to glean from you.” The fox drew himself up, steepling his claws together in front of his face. “Allow me to state my objectives plainly. You will never leave this place. The very instant you entered my realm, you gave up the ability to go your own way. You are now part of my collection, an object that I will toy with as I see fit. Clear your mind of all you knew of Dark Forest, for Hellgates is your new dwelling place.”

“You can’t stop us from leaving,” Laterose declared, her clear voice overflowing with confidence. “Being in your realm does not give you power over us!”

“Oh you miserable little maiden, how deeply you’re mistaken.”

With a derisive flourish Vulpuz vanished. His voice continued to issue from seemingly everywhere, eerie echoes bouncing off the quarried fragments of stone as Martin and his comrades formed up in a loose defensive circle, each of them straining to catch sight of the fox.

“I can only guess that you weren’t listening during my eloquent explanation. Very well, I’ll go over it once more. Picture this: There was a band of foolish woodlanders who traipsed into Hellgates. The Great Vulpuz made himself known to them, and because they were utterly ignorant, he chose to teach them according to his principles. His lessons were brief and highly effective, as demonstrated hence.”

An enormous slab of stone close to Gonff shuddered suddenly to life, hurling itself with brutal accuracy upon the unsuspecting mousethief. Gonff hardly had time to utter a muffled shout of surprise, for in the blink of an eye both stone and thief had disappeared into thin air. In the same moment there was a low rumbling sound, and the sand beneath Dinny and Grumm started to churn and heave violently. With breathless speed, the ground began to devour the two moles, their bass voices crying out in terror.

“Ee gurt sands, oh, burr no!”

“Miz Roser, Marthen, help!”

Rose caught hold of Grumm’s ladle, her footpaws scrabbling to find a suitable foothold against which she could brace herself. Without warning she sat down hard, Grumm’s ladle still clutched in one paw. The two moles had been completely swallowed, buried beneath unyielding stone and sand. Rose glanced up at Martin, her mouth wide open in shock. Quickly Martin helped her back onto her footpaws, Felldoh warily circling the area behind them.

The warrior squirrel was furious at having been caught unprepared. Gritting his teeth, Felldoh dropped his sling upon the ground. He hefted his spear in both paws and shouted into the sky.

“Coward! Show yourself!”  

In an instant Vulpuz was standing before him. Laughing maniacally, the white fox struck Felldoh in the face with a fierce backpawed slap, causing the squirrel to lose his balance. He toppled backwards over the edge of the cliff, followed by the echoes of a terrible scream that slowly faded into horrified silence. His chilling deeds accomplished, Vulpuz sniffed disdainfully, bending to retrieve Felldoh’s spear from where it lay on the path. Effortlessly he snapped it in two. He flung the broken pieces over the cliff edge before turning to face Martin and Rose.

“I don’t always take care of the rubbish, but I’m very methodical when I do, wouldn’t you agree?” he inquired, a nasty sneer contorting his beautiful face.

“What did you do with my friends?” Martin growled. He maneuvered himself in front of Rose and brandished his sword. Behind him, Rose fitted a rock to her sling and began swinging it in steady arcs, her eyes trained on Vulpuz.

The ruler of Hellgates smote his forehead with an open paw.  “And we are still not listening! No matter, I’ll be able to fix that for you. I took your friends out. Not for a stroll through Mossflower Woods, mind you. Can’t you see?” The fox cleared his throat forcefully. “Entering my realm was a poor leadership decision, mouse. You brought your friends into a trap. All the signs of a trap were there. Hahaha, but what does Martin the Warrior do? He ignores them! He takes note of the possibility of danger and he charges full tilt into it, dragging all those he loves along with him.” Vulpuz stalked regally towards the two mice, the brisk wind whipping his cloak about like a torn sail caught in a storm. The timbre of his voice rose to a maddening scream as the skies above them began to darken.

“You can’t escape what you’ve been, warrior! Even now, the wraith who has frolicked through the mists of your slain foes’ nightmares lingers in your shadow!”

Martin had heard enough. He shifted his weight, readying himself to strike. The white fox was laughing again, the air around him popping and fizzing, blurring the edges of his form. His arms were outstretched, taunting the warrior mouse, inviting him to attack. Martin exhaled and raised his blade, his field of vision narrowing as the whirring of Rose’s sling intensified behind him. Time seemed to stretch itself thin just as Martin leaned into his charge.

Then, a voice like steel striking stone carved a rift through the ecstatic tension.

“Enough, Vulpuz.”