#yeehaw doggy here we come

[cdc1345711]

Mr.Iglesias/One Day At A Time Crossover Ep 1

(At the Apartment of one Penelope Alverez the single War Vet Mom enters with her kids Ilena and Alex as they are greeted by their Abuelita Lydia)

Lydia:Good Afternoon mi Familia.....why the sadden faces? Hoooo don't tell me we lost the Pope?"

Penelope:No Mami Ilena and Alex's School is gonna be closed for fumigation because some Dumbass unleashed his Cockroach Collection around the school"

Ilena:To be fair Cockroaches are a Super Breed of Insects"

Alex:Leave it to Ilena to like Bugs"

Lydia:Aiyaya Cockoroaches makes my skin crawl.....eh least the worse is over and done"

Penelope:Not really...means Alex and Ilena need to find another school for the time being.....might just try public school"

Lydia:AAAAAIIIYA are you Loco Lupe?(holds Alex's head) you want your SON my GRANDCHILD our PEPITO to be corrupted by those Public School Hooligans?"

Ilena:Gee glad you care for my safety too"

Penelope:I'm sure they'll be safe besides they can't stay here"

Alex:Wait is that an option?"

Penelope:No...."

Schneider:(Her Building Manager walks in)Hello everybody what's shakin?"

Lydia:Lupe wants to send my Grandbabies to public school because of their is filled with Cockroach Gase....or something"

Schneider:So Alex can be corrupted by those Hooligans who go there?"

Ilena:Like I'm not here"

Penelope:I'll find a way just give me time okay"

Lydia:(To Alex)No worries Pepito.....I'll protect your Innocence"

Penelope:Malone....."

(Through the night she looked up schools that are near and has a low crime record and she settles on one school)

Penelope:Perfect(call the number)Hello is this Principal Madison of Wilson High School? I got a favor to ask"

(The Next Day in the Teacher's Lounge of Wilson High 2 Teachers and Best Friends bicker)

Gabriel:For the last time NO Bro"

Tony:Oh come on why not?"

Gabriel:For one I don't got 300 dollars and 2 even if I did I wouldn't waste it giving it to you for the track or to pay for the Playboy channel"

Tony:Oh Gabe.....I can just watch stuff on my phone"

Gabriel:Oh....still no"

(Second later Principal Madison Abby and Carlos enter)

Tony:Awe my sweet sweet Vanilla Queen"

Abby:Oh......one of the Keebler Elves"

(Everyone Laughs)

Gabriel:What's New Paula?"

Paula:Besides waking up fabulous I got a call while in mid Power Mode to bring in 2 new students for a short time"

Tony:More Kids? Really?"

Abby:I'd never the Chance to teach young minds

Carlos:That's the spirit Miss Spencer and the only Difference Mr.Ochoa is that the 2 are from a fancy well educated Catholic School....thats being fumigated"

Tony:Ha they wanted to gas the place they should've found Gabe after Loco Taco Happy Hour(Gabe playfully slaps him)"

Carlos:Even so......with them here our quota will reach a new high in academics(everyone stares)"

Paula:He means the smarter the kids the bigger Wilson's chances of reaching Lakewood"

Gabriel:Oooh(British Accent)Seems it will be our time to mingle with the Uppercrust ah hahaha"

Carlos:It best if you keep those Voices to a minimum Mr.Iglesias.....we need to show we're better than that"

(Carlos steps out and Gabe raspberries)

Paula:(Checks watch)Hot Damn they'll be arriving soon.......how I look?"

Gabriel:(Fashionista)You look FABULOUS!!!!!"

Paula:Oh Gabe you sweet talker"

Gabriel:Well I try(girly voice)"

(Paula meets up with the Alverezes and gives them a tour....nearing the end as they get their new schedules)

Penelope:Thank you again Principal Madison...you no idea how much of a life saver it is"

Paula:Don't thank me yet...your Boy has Mr.Iglesias"

Penelope:Oh God He's not one of those Teachers who doesn't care is he?"

Paula:No problem is he cares TOO much"

Lydia:How is that bad?"

Paula:It's not but....give it time...and if you want a teacher who doesn't care check your Daughter's schedule....she has Mr.Ochoa....he never cares"

(Despite worrying she says her goodbyes)

(In Mr.Iglesias' class he's breaking the News that they'll be getting a new Classmate)

Gabe:So yeah just make him feel welcomed"

(Alex enters)

Alex:Hi everyone I'm Alex Alverez"

Everyone:Hi"

Lorenzo:So we got us a big shot in our school huh?"

Walt:From your fancy pants Catholic school hmm Mr. Cruella Deville?"

(Alex tenses up)

Marisol:Don't pay them any mind they're just messing with you"

Lorenzo:Yeah she's right"

Walt:Everyone is welcomed"

Mikey:Yeah welcome to the classroom of Misfit Students"

Alex:Oh thank God

Gabe:Yeah haha take a seat Alex we're just about to discuss the Spanish-American War"

Marisol:Though if the Country keeps going as it is now it will be dubbed the 1st Spanish-American War"

Mikey:My Girl tells it like it is"

Alex:(To Himself)Great another Ilena"

Gabe:Anyway.....turns out Texas was part of Mexico but to reach a end the Mexicans gave Texas in others we went from Ai Dios Mio to (country accent) Yeehaw get along lil Doggies"

Alex:Haha hey he's pretty good"

Grace:Yeah his Voices are the Best"

Lorenzo:AAAAAAAAAH"

Gabe:What is it Lorenzo?"

Lorenzo:So....soom.....som....(pointing somewhere)"

Walt:(Sees where he's pointing)Uh Mr.Iglesias.....either that's a Wrinkly Creepo or Principal Madsion's Secretary is wandering around again"

Alex:Oh God please No....."

(Everyone turns around to see Lydia looking through the window as she quickly runs off"

Mikey:Who the Hell was that?"

Alex:My......Abuelita....."

Gabe:Hmm.....Hell of a lot faster than my Abuelita to be honest....now where were we?"

(Lydia was the peeking through Mr.Ochoa's Classroom spying on Ilena until she was spotted and caught by Coach Dixon and was given one hour of detention while they called Penelope to have her escorted off campus while Mr.Iglesias volunteered to help)

Penelope:I'm so sorry my Mami was being all creepy....watching your class through the window"

Gabriel:Hey it's cool believe me I know what it's like having an Over Protective Mom"

Penelope:Well thanks Again Mr.Iglesias"

Gabe:Oh please you can call me Gabe"

Penelope:Alright Gabe"

Gabe:I'll be seeing your son Tomorrow"(he leaves as Penelope gives her Mother the Stink Eye)

Lydia:What?"

Penelope:What the Hell were you thinking peeking through the Windows like a Loco Mami?"

Lydia:Is it loco to keep watch over our Family? Admit it you wanted to spy on them too"

Penelope:Well........YEAH but I'm not crazy enough to do it"

Lydia:Then you are not a real Cuban Mother"

Penelope:Ohoho is that true?????"

(They both Argue in spanish until Ilena and Alex show up and they stop)

Penelope:Hi Kids how was your first day?"

Alex:Pretty good oh man Mr.Iglesias is awesome he does these Funny Voices that helps keep us interested and even after Abuelita embarrassed me my Classmate didn't laugh not one"

Ilena:Well my Honors Classmates did and Mr.Ochoa didn't teach us anything just let us do what we wanted...."

Penelopa:Oh Ilena......"

Ilena:......And I loved it I took the time to study ahead"

Alex:Wow even given free time you're still a nerd"

Ilena:Well I don't care...it keeps me smart"

(As they head to their rooms)

Penelope:You're still not off the Hook"

Lydia:Fine.....that Mr.Iglesias was a fine gentlemen though"

Penelope:Oh no I see where this is going Mami"

Lydia:Going where?"

Penelope:You think is he was Taller Cuban and not Fat he'd make a great Husband"

Lydia:Well.......I wouldn't say 'Fat' more......'Fluffy'"

(She walks behind her Curtain)

Penelope:Ai Dios Mio.....Lord Give me strength"

THE END

[tj-is-tired-blog]

"Dammit" (RDR2 X Reader Fluff Headcanon/Blurb/Thing?)

Hey there um I accidentally posted an unfinished ask instead of saving it as a draft because I'm a fool and I can't find it anymore but I remember almost exactly what it was so yeehaw

@crimsonredemption asked: "Hey hey hey hey can you do 'fell asleep on my shoulder' and 'carrying you to bed' with arthur or javier from rdr2 with a gender neutral reader?" (Or something along those lines)

Answer: Hell yeah bröther let's do both

-------------

Arthur:

What started off as a simple fishing trip turned into so much more. You started at around three in the afternoon. About one or two hours after you set up a fishing spot, you found what seemed to be a stray dog. The dog looked malnourished and weak, but he still had a light in his eyes looking like he was filled with hope. He kind of reminded you of Arthur.

"Hey Arthur I found a dog!" You shouted with glee. You were petting the dog with your eyes lit up with joy. Arthur chuckled at how child-like you can be.

"We have a dog at camp (Y/N). We don't need anymore smelly animals than we already have." Arthur put his pole down and walked over to you. You were treating the dog like he was your son. The cowboy, now sitting next to you, was having fun watching you try to care for the dog.

"C'mon look at him! He looks like you but as a dog! Dog Arthur... Darthur!" The dog barked at you when you said the dumb name.

"Awe is that your name? Darthur, you're such a good bo a h." You said trying to imitate Arthur's soft spot for dogs. He was just laughing at how stupid the whole situation is.

"(Y/N) let's getchu' home." You looked at him with a pouty face and tried to fake cry.

"But the d o g." He shook his head and smiled.

"You're tired, c'mon. Get yer stuff." You frowned complied, stomping over to where you left your pole and bag o' fish. The dog followed you and you smiled widely

"I've been chosen!" You shrieked to the world. You looked over at Arthur only to see him loading his stuff on his horse, trying to hold in a laugh. He shook his head and broke. The cowboy, who rarely shows emotion of joy, was laughing a hard laugh. You smiled at this. Someone made tough man Arthur™ laugh and it was because of a dumb lil' doggy.

"Lessgo'." He said between laughs. You picked up the dog, disregarding Arthur saying they don't need anymore pets, and mounted your horse.

"Put the dog back-"

"But Arthurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..." Arthur just smiled and rolled his eyes. The whole trip back you two were just cracking jokes and making sarcastic remarks. You checked on the dog every now and then, as it was slightly uncomfortable to ride on a small saddle with a larte-ish dog. When you did get to the camp it was about six o'clock at night and everyone was eating their dinner. You hitched your horses and you went to get a bowl of stew for the dog, and for your dinner.

"Now what in the hell is that." Micah, not really asking but demanding™, said, pointing to the dog.

"That is my new dog, and if you get anywhere near him I'll cut your eye out." You smiled sweetly, and continued to try and cool down the stew on the way to Arthur's tent. While waiting at his tent you were 'reading' a book you stole from Dutch. You were really doodling on all of the pages until it was unreadable. Then a certain yeehaw-man that you've spent your whole day with walked over.

"Why are you in my tent?" He looked genuinely confused.

"I can't leave evidence." You simply stated. Arthur huffed and looked at the page you were doodling on.

"Wait... Isn't that Dutch's favorite book?"

"Who knows at this point, you can't read it. Even the title isn't visible." You said snickering. Not once did you look up through the whole conversation. You just continued 'reading'. Big baby boy Arthur sat on the cot and you just kind of cuddled next to him. It felt natural.

"Where's your dog, (Y/N)?" You shot up and looked to where Micah was. Your sweet doggo wasn't there, so that's good. After a fierce whistle there was a bark, and both Cain and the stray walked over. You started making baby noises and pet the dogs. After your cute little dog fit, you closed the book with the pencil in it, and hid them in the wagon next to Arthur's tent.

"Why do you put it by me?" He whisper yelled.

"I can't be the one who gets caught. I'm the favorite." You added sarcasm to the last bit and flopped next to Arthur.

"You might be the strangest person I've ever met." He mumbled.

"Yeah, I know." You yawned out.

The next hour was just you two telling stories about your childhood. It was mildly emotional because you two just wished you could go back. Everything was less chaotic back then. You laid your head on Arthur's shoulder while telling about the past and slowly dozed off. Arthur was rambling and venting so he didn't notice you were asleep for a good while. When he eventually did figure it out, he just kind of stared in awe. He's never seen you so peaceful. You only had three emotions. Angry, sarcastic, and dog. Nothing more, nothing less.

He sighed and tried to pick you up. He struggled a little because not only was he tired and sore, he was trying to be gentle. It doesn't happen often because Arthur, being the big beautiful idiotic brute he is, thinks he's only good for destruction. But as we all know, that's a fat lie. Arthur carefully carried you back to your tent and got a few smart remarks from some of the gang members that were still up. He shot them glares and they shut up quickly.

When Arthur got to your tent he was trying to figure up how to set you down. He eventually figured it out after like six minutes. Arthur looked at you and you shivered a little bit. He looked around for extra blankets.

"Dammit..." Arthur laid down and cuddled you. You smiled in your sleep. He was like a big teddy bear.

You woke up with a start in the morning and you had no idea where you were.

"What the..." You looked around mildly panicking and found a note. You recognized the neat handwriting.

"I brought you here don't worry. You didn't get... Y'know." You looked over at Arthur chopping logs. He grinned quickly before getting back to his work.

--

Javier:

"Hey, Earth to (Y/N)!" You jumped and looked to your left. It was none other than Javier Escuella. He stifled a laugh due to your sudden reaction. You have a tendancy to daydream on guard duty, and now that it was getting later in the evening, you were dozing off every now and then.

"Huh? What? Who?" You yelled out aiming your rifle wherever you could. Javier sure did get a kick out of that. You just grumbled and sat down near a tree.

"Come on amigo, switch off with someone and get dinner. You haven't eaten all day." Javier stated, carving a piece of wood.

"Go trade with uh... Bill or Sean! Those two don't need sleep." You chuckled.

"Nah, I'm okay. Thanks for being concerned, I guess." You looked up at Javier, who yawned and slightly cut his finger with the knife.

"Gah! Mierda!" You shot up from whatever daze you were in, and immediately rushed over to Javier. He was probably being over-dramatic, as it was only a papercut, but you were still concerned.

"Hey wow, are you okay?" You gently held his hand and poured some water from your flask onto it.

"No, it really hurts..." He wasn't lying, but he wasn't telling the truth. It stung a little, but that was the only pain he felt from the small cut.

"Do you need a bandage I-" Javier cut you off.

"You can make it feel better with a kiss~" Javier purred out. You just groaned and threw his hand to the side. Always with the flirting. To be fair you should've expected it. He's almost never irresponsible when carving, or just handling a knife in general. Keyword: Almost.

"You're so stupid." You rolled your eyes jokingly and grabbed your stuff, walking back to your tent.

"Ah mi amor! Come back I miss you!" He laughed. You just scoffed and set your stuff back in your tent. Then you walked over to the campfire. Sitting at the campfire made you doze off again. However, you jolted awake at any sudden noise, trying to make it look like you weren't sleeping. Everyone noticed.

"How come you never go to bed (Y/N)? You always end up sleeping somewhere else." Charles asked carefully.

"Uh... I dunno. Paranoia maybe?" You shrugged and looked toward Charles' direction.

"It's because they always want to cuddle with the Mexican!" Bill mocked. You stood up and stomped over to him. He shrunk back in his seat and you grabbed his collar.

"Say something like that again, and I'll shoot you." You let go and walked to your horse. Little did you know, Javier was watching in the distance. He grimaced at Bill and went to go tell him off. You, however, went to go by the river and camp out for the night. Javier know this, as it was the spot you go to when you get mad.

"Stupid Bill, dumb camp, idiot people..." you mumbled on and on, leading your horse around the river. You grumbled and sat down on a rock.

"(Y/N)..." You whipped your head around and saw Javier. He had a soft, concerned smile on his face.

"Hey." You grumbled, hugging your knees. Javier dismounted his horse and walked over.

"I know you don't want to talk about it..." Javier said softly.

"It's fine. What's up with your eye." Javier beamed and put an arm around your shoulder.

"I knocked out the fucker." You just giggled and laid your head on his shoulder.

"Of course you did." You trailed off, cuddling into Javier's arm. You two sat in a peaceful silence until there was soft snoring from you. Javier looked down and smiled, admiring your features.

"Mi amor..." he mumbled. Javier cuddled you and eventually dozed off himself. You both had a rough night.

In the morning you woke up next to Javier in his tent. He was passed out cold, and snored loudly. You smiled and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Ever so slightly, you could see a grin on his face.

"Damn he's cute..."

-------------

UghHHHHH THIS TOOK FOREVER I'M SO SORRY! It's also a little longer and repetitive than I wanted it to be, but it was kinda fun writing it

[fuck-customers]

Respect us, without us you'd be fucked.

( Many apologies if the box is closed! Work makes me miss a lot of updates. )

Pregnant lady working at doggy daycare here. Good news! Baby was born on his due date, happy and healthy ( Thank god because of the falling at work... )

Just more general fuck managers nonsense. I didn't get to enjoy my leave to the fullest because guess what - Big Boss dude screwed up my lave pay. Yaaay. Nothing like stressing about rent and bills because you don't get your first check for 2 months. THEN, have the audacity to say "Oh your last paycheck was [date]. See you when you come back!"

Like ??? I understand your main job is a real estate agent, and you never feel the need to come into THE FACILITY YOU OWN TO WORK ON CRAP... actually, I don't understand, because I make a measly 9.50 an hour  after busting my ass doing literally every position in the facility but you know. Whatever? I nee both my paycheck and my husbands to pay our nearly 1300 dollar rent. ( That's with income based in Jersey... still better than the 1700 for a studio. I miss Indiana's 300 rent. lmao )

After I came back I gave specific instructions that I can only work 8:30-5:30 shifts. Why? Daycare. Wanting to spend time with my child and husband. You know family things. Why the fuck are my managers putting me on a 2 - 10 shift?? Like,no. I refuse. Don't tell me "oh we still can't accommodate you. It wouldn't be fair to the employees." It wasn't fair to me when I was pregnant, and it definitely isn't fair to me now because you allow 2 brand new workers to come in at 4:30 instead of 1:50 when they're scheduled EVERY DAY.

Also, it must be nice, J, to take 2 week long vacations every 3 months because you have so much money. Must be nice to have a set schedule that you won't allow me to have because "no one has a set schedule besides me, T, and L." Actually, from the schedules I've seen, the only ones who don't have a set schedule are me and B.

I'm just trying to get something consistent for my baby. Hell, the 9.50 as said isn't worth it, especially considering I've been punctured TWICE from breaking up dog fights.Yes, I rather be bit than the dogs but come on. There's no respect. I get 11 while doing office shifts ( Not allowed to have that when working with the dogs ), but it's still not enough in Jersey. Not to mention my Husbands entire family is banned because they tried to stand up for me when I was pregnant. I'd be fired if they stepped in.

... Please step in. I give permission

My dog also got red carded because she defended herself when a dog attacked her. Dog got off scott-free because they pay so much money. But my dog only gets 1 chance instead of 3, while the high paying dogs get 7+ and get to maul 4 dogs because being red. Yeehaw!

Jokes on you, you'll be missing a Dog Handler, Office member, and a pet Taxi assistant. I also groom the dogs. Also your only licensed Pet Taxi driver will be leaving soon too because you treat him terribly. Have fun!

Thankfully I have put in my two weeks. It's not worth it. I deserve better, my baby deserves better. It's not worth the stress or the crying. Thankfully I have an interview today for a Vet Tech position ( My dream job! ), and I also have a job with the City pending. ( 15 an hour? paid days off? Actual sick days and benefits? A consistent morning M-F schedule? Take me now! )

Thank you for letting me rant! Stay strong everyone!

[kosmicdream]

Temp. FFAK Official Timeline

This is a very rough, temp timeline for FFAK. It mostly covers events that have already happened or at least have been mentioned. I dont really cover anything that is happening in the present day timeline lol. I might make edits to this in case i fucked up in places or maybe ill just do a totally new one at some point! you dont even know how messy my actual one is like my god its an ever worse horrible clusterfuck of text. (Also remember, the ffak story has no time travel so dont be worried about that sort of mindfuckery!) enjoy

Years before 1414: Whenever was 600 million years ago i dont want to do the exact math: Evil Mother is born but shes not called that at all cuz she adopts that name later in life but just know she is here and readt to party Lots of stuff happens. like idk. evolution and life. 600 mil years is a long time ok -LALALA -HUMANS AT SOME POINT COME TO BEING.and form civilization and.. all that -modern human society exist! ppl have tvs and such. -Mandragora Worms have gone ‘extinct’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo -??????????? a ton of other stuff. isnt history cool?? kicks legs, yells -mysterious worm break outs all over dmtia. bombs fall. wars. despair!  -Grant Lumberman gets a doggy at some point and loves it but then it dies and so does his family and friends and his whole city he is relocated to the Auseklis moon colony (on Dmtia’s moon!) along w/ other Vena Cavian kiddos !!!! (in yr 1414)

YEAR 1415 [Scene From Ch. 11: Pages 3161-3196, 3400-3401] Characters: Randall Aiguille - Age 20 Mr. Rotten (Which was named “Aeschylus” at the time, created by Randall) Crosshatch Unit (sort of) Rembrandt Aiguille - Age 22 Grant Lumberman (Aka, ‘Good Leadman’) - Age 14 Octavian “Otto" Silverberg - Age 15 (I was gonna type up every referenced scene like this then i was like fuck it thats too hard! lol)

Years 1416-1425 ?????????????? (most events likely will be mostly covered in a prequel series.) YEAR 1420: Crosshatch Unit first programmed/built by Randall/Rembrandt Aiguille leadman and evil mother fall in lurv at some point

YEAR 1426 Miracle Baby Crimson is Born (From Good Leadman/Evil Mother worm fuck action yeehaw)

YEAR 1427 -Crimson’s 2 eyes are removed + Evil Mother Believes they are dead and leaves Leadman to work with Tricend -Canary is Born (From Evil Mother, and a King Worm) -Hekatons are made (From The King worm that made Canary, concept of Hekatons is from Evil Mother) -July 8th: Perkons Hatches and will not let anyone near the other 4 eggs!! stay away

YEAR 1428 - Good Leadman (Age 27) and Perkons (6 months old) Meet (Happens in Jan) (Multiple scenes in ch10, continued in Ch11) Perkons turns 1 in July. -Perkons gets a hold of 1 of Crimson’s eyes at some point, turns it into a Knife.

YEAR 1429 - Perkons turns 2 in july and is a fully matured adult. Rest of the 4 hekatons eggs hatch sometime after in that year. -Dievas assumes protective guardian role for his siblings.  -Dievas meets Aeschylus. (ch11) YEAR 1430 Perkons turns 3. The rest of the first hekatons are one. During this year they mature to an adult. YEAR 1431 Lauma meets Velns, who is imprisoned. Then shortly after, Perkons confronts Lauma, she is 2, he is 4. So It took place after July 1431. He transforms the 2nd crimson eye into a Spoon in front of her.

Years 1431-1448 (specific dates not all disclosed sry): -Velns/Lauma, Dievas/Laima begin making children. baby baby baby! YEAR 1438 - Crimson (Age 11) is eaten by a Hydragora Queen worm - loosing her human body in the process but gaining a worm one instead. -Crimson runs around in a destroyed city, holding a corpse. Meets Velns who taunts them. -Lauma and Dievas make up, and have their first nest together- a Batch of A/B hybrid eggs. -Lauma is killed by Perkons -Velns is killed by Perkons (Which was also on Dmtia’s Moon, so the moon is destroyed.) -Laima is “killed” by Perkons. (Actually survived, as part of Dievas’ plan.) -Perkons confronts Dievas with the Crosshatch Unit and mention they fight for Peace and under the “Thumb” alliance. Perkons kills Dievas. (scene in ch11) -Laima escapes with A/B Eggs, as well as other hekaton eggs. (and will later form the Ghost Kingdom, which she rules as queen.) ????? many other things happen????? these were some busy years folks

YEAR 1449 -Crimson meets a Helper, Galore the Hekaton, and a Bunny worm (who will later grow up to be agent Paper) in the forests of DMTIA (Ch9) -Galore “meets" her first parents, Lauma and Velns, in some mysterious coma dream thing from listening to crims sexy magical heartbeat (also Ch9) ??????????more events happen??????????? -Galore “Dies” by exploding. Crimson witnesses it. -Bunny wormed named Cirrus “Dies” and is buried in a grave. However, she was only injured she later climbs out only to witness Crimson and Celadon leave in Crimson’s truck and it was the saddest thing ive had to draw ok. i am crying even remembering it ??????????more secret events this was yet another busy and traumatizing year for crimson????????????? -Months later, Crimson (age 23) has a conversation with her third mandragora heart, and ends up having a period sex masterbate-y fantasy that made many readers scream in terror when they read it.(Ch11)

Years 1450-1904 god so much stuff happens during this time, lays on the ground. i mean just fucking look at how much time that is. thats over 450 years lol nbd right

YEAR 1905 -Agent Knife is sent on a remote mission (back to Planet Dmtia) to hunt down one of thumbs most wanted criminals, a man named “SIMON MCGOLD” -After months of searching/failed attempts at locating him, Knife confronts and is stung by Simon’s close personal bodyguard, a queen worm named Nail who is famous for killing over 50,000 Hekatons. (Gaining him the nickname “Hekaton Hunter.” (CH12) -?????????? more stuff happens like you dont even know????????

Years 1906-1924 ??????????? lots of stuff??????? lets laugh at some spoon stuff together tho -Spoon thinks Knife is stupid but weirdly interesting i guess -Spoon tries to pretend hes not in love w/ knife cuz thats like??? g...ay??? -Spoon realizes he’s totally hot for Knife and decides hes gonna totally seduce him -Spoon realizes flirting isnt going well with knife and is actually rly deeply hurt by rejection and so he tries to sleep around w/ other ppl  to pretend hes fine cuz w/e!! who cares -Spoon realizes hes totally in love w/ Knife and is devastated by Deeply Gay emotions -Spoon moves in w/ Knife and spoon tries to pretend he is fine w/ just being Knife’s obsessively devotedly loyal but not romantic/sexual partner. just ttly... platonic.. best dude pals..!!! who murder together -Spoon realizes he cannot handle just being friends and attempts to move out cuz he just is having a meltdown -Knifes like chill we’re already dating and Spoon is like “wtf we are?” and knife’s like “why else would i let you move in w/ me” and spoon just stares at a wall for like 12 hrs in shock -They start to officially for real date™ after spoon regains contact with reality -???????stuff??????? -Spoon dresses up as AGENT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN ALL OF HISTORY HANDS DOWN MARK UR CALENDARS 

YEAR 1925 July 8th - Simon (now Agent Spoon) has been in a relationship with Knife for 20 years. He meets Celadon #1. Location is the forests on the moon THUMB HQ. who is rightfully pissed as fuck at him. kick his ass, girl (she does btw) (ch11)

YEAR 1926 -Knife Adopts a tiny perfect adorable fluffball c-type and names him Kurt. -Spoon hates it like more than anything ever -Spoon and Knife end up having to live separately, causing a huge strain in their relationship.

Years 1927-1936 -feeling neglected, Spoon starts to sleep around, including the Crosshatch unit and becomes p close friends w/ them! its actually a positive thing for once. wtf (ch11) -Kurt becomes Agent Fork and works alongside Agent Knife on missions and its adorable and great but knife’s depression is also growing bc he misses spoon

YEAR 1937 Cash Leadman is born! :D

YEAR 1938 Rome Aiguille is born! he doesnt even hate worms at this point! Years 1939-1955 more stuff. ect. 

YEAR 1956 -Locket confronts Knife. Knife is so traumatized from meeting a surprise biological child that he has a meltdown and vanishes. he is then believed to have died. -Spoon Explodes from sadness of the news, but does not die. Half of him leaves to Cash Leadman’s house, who convinces him to keep living. He becomes “Scissor”, using her former crosshatch robot body. (ch11) -The other half meets Locket and has his Spoon stolen from him. very sads. Also cant wear thongs anymore (ch11)

YEAR 1957 -At some point during this year, Spoon kills Agent Rock’s dad and also prevents Fork from being able to enter Wibbleworld (his dream). (Scene in ch8) -Fork goes back to prison (guess what, it wasnt his first time goin’ there!) 

YEAR 1958-present -the death of rock’s hot dad springs a chain reaction of all his sons trying to kill spoon and getting revenge. Spoon successfully kills them all though lmfao. dont fuck with the leg.  -fork breaks up with dollop and she starts stalking him

YEAR 1961 -Dylan and Agent Knife meet in Wibbleworld moon, on July 8th (his birthday) He reveals secrets to her. (ch11) -Dylan/Celadon and Antony believe they are successful at killing Agent Knife on this same day.

YEAR 1962 -Feb 2 - Aeschylus wakes up in LEVEL K of the Crosshatch Colony (The Aiguille Moon) and is escorted by Antony Aiguille (Age 21) and Celadon #1, #2 and #3. Dylan and Barfy show up. (Ch 11) -Dylan tries to convince Antony not to get eaten (and fails) (ch12) -March - A mysterious earthquake and worm outbreak kills 20,000 residents in the Crosshatch Colony. O_O  -July 7th - Fork meets Dylan for the first time. :3 (Another serving episode one!) -July 8th: This is where the present timeline begins! Canary wakes up on a platform. Hooray! we made it. i dont feel like typing out the events u can just read the comic i guess lol. farts! 

YEAR 1963: Hasnt actually happened yet, but the final feast is said to occur this year!!!!!!! O_O ooo  EDIT: one of the events were out of order, but this has been fixed (8/19/2017) 

[razzmatash]

Outfit Swap

Day Three: Outfit Swap (kinda)

Pairing: McCree x OC

Word Count: 1171

Note: English is not Evan’s first language and sometimes it shows

             Frowning at her tablet, Evan tapped at the screen. Something was off with the design but she couldn’t figure out what. Leaning into the tablet, she abruptly stopped when she realised what she was doing and made a face at herself. “Good job,” she muttered and set the tablet down.

           She wasn’t even supposed to be working. She wasn’t even supposed to have the tablet here. But she’d managed to sneak it into her luggage and so far as she knew, he hadn’t noticed yet.

           Her gaze flicked to the bathroom door. It was closed and she could hear the water running, meaning he was still in the shower. He’d half woken her up to ask if she wanted to join him but she’d just huffed and buried her head under the pillow. He’d laughed, rubbing a hand over her back before he’d left the bed. She hadn’t managed to go back to sleep though, especially not when she’d heard him start singing in the shower. So she’d gotten up-slightly grumpy because they were supposed to be on days off and he was getting up before eight?-and gone to her tablet immediately.

           Slumping down in the chair, she glanced out the balcony doors and her nose wrinkled a little more. They’d come here to spend some time on the beaches and it was raining. What were they going to do all day if it was raining?

           Evan blushed as she immediately thought of one thing to do and quickly squashed the idea.

           Leaving her seat, she wandered around the room, shaking her head as he continued singing. Was he getting louder? Was he trying to entice her to join him? Or was he just being himself and really singing in the shower? Probably the last one if she honestly thought about it.

           She scooped up his hat from where he’d tossed it last night and plunked it on her head without thought. Normally she wouldn’t care about making a mess but they weren’t at home and she did not want to spend their last day frantically searching for something one of them had just tossed. They’d done that before and would probably do it again but not this time. If they were stuck inside, she wasn’t losing anything.

           Sitting on the bed, she grabbed her phone as it buzzed. She smiled faintly as she saw that it was Juno but a little part of her wanted to remind her that she was on a holiday and it was early. Instead, she read the message Juno sent.

           How’s the holiday, mija?

           Pouting, she half turned and took a picture of the weather. She added a sad emoji afterwards and tried not to think about how much it sucked. They’d spent all week talking about coming here, about getting away together, and it rained.

           Evan leaned back on the bed, scooting up until she could sit against the pillows, and thumbed through her phone for something to do. She didn’t want to start playing a game because she’d get caught up in it and she didn’t know how much longer he was going to be. She didn’t even know what they were planning on doing. Should she get dressed? She probably should. But she didn’t know what they were going to do. Was there a point in putting on clothes if they didn’t leave the hotel room? What was she even supposed to wear in this weather? It wasn’t like she had brought her rain boots and-

           “Yeehaw, darlin’.”

           She looked up quickly and nearly fumbled her phone as she saw him standing in the bathroom door. Wearing nothing but a towel.

           It didn’t matter that they’d been dating for over a year, her tongue still felt thick in her mouth as she stared at him, taking in both muscles and tattoos. Before she realised he was staring back at her, his gaze moving over her since her sleep shirt had rucked up around her hips. “Hey!”

           He was grinning as he looked back up at her face. “Not like you ain’t lookin’ yer fill, darlin’,” he teased.

           She could feel herself blushing but she didn’t back down. “So?”

           His grin somehow got wider. “You still look cute in it,” he said, jerking his chin at her.

           What? Oh. She was still wearing his hat. “Thank you,” she murmured, “but move along, tiny puppy. We got things to do.”

           He’d started moving already but he stopped dead in his tracks to look back at her. The look on his face confused her for a moment before she remembered that they might not have things to do. They hadn’t really planned anything beyond booking the hotel.

           “Jesse?” she asked as he came over to the bed.

           He cupped her face and leaned down to kiss her. “Yer so fuckin’ cute,” he muttered, letting her go to move over to their bags. “Don’t ever change, Ev.”

           She blinked at his back, really confused now. He’d already told her that so what had she done?

           “C’mon, Bambi, get dressed. I’m gonna take you to breakfast.”

           Evan’s mouth quirked a little but she still slid off the bed, setting aside her phone. She started to take the hat off but stopped when he shook his head at her.

           “Leave it, darlin’.”

           Her hand dropped and she quickly went through their things. Getting dressed was easy enough since he kept his hands to himself but she could still feel him watching her. More than that she could feel his amusement. What had she done?

           “Zip me?” she asked, turning her back to him.

           Warm fingers brushed against her as he pulled the zipper up on her dress and she shivered as he stroked her bare neck when he reached it. He gave her chills as he leaned down to kiss the crook of her neck. “Ready?”

           She nodded, stepping away from him to put her shoes on. Or at least she tried to. She’d barely moved before he’d plucked the hat off her head. “Hey!” she protested, looking at him.

           He met her frown with another easy smile. “Easy there, Bambi. I ain’t takin’ it,” he told her, dropping it back on her head. “Yer cute enough to pull it off, but I ain’t goin’ with you wearin’ it backwards.”

           Evan blinked at him. She hadn’t been looking at it when she’d put it on but she wasn’t sure he’d believe her at this point. “Oh. Thank you?”

           McCree laughed and kissed her again. “Get yer shoes, Bambi.”

           She stared at him as he went to tug on his boots before shaking herself and quickly slipping on her flats. She took his hand when he held it out to her and followed him toward the door.

           He pulled it open for her, ushering her through it. “Get along, little doggie,” he murmured as she stepped out.

           …Oh. Oh, shit.

           McCree laughed again and gave her a push when she stopped. “Cutest thing I ever did see,” he chuckled.

[thisdayinphishtory]

24 years ago: Concert Hall - Toronto, Ontario, Canada - 1994

Phish • April 06, 1994 • Concert Hall • Toronto, Ontario • Canada

Set 1: Llama, Guelah Papyrus, Poor Heart, Stash, The Lizards, Sample in a Jar, Scent of a Mule, Fee -> Run Like an Antelope

Set 2: The Curtain > Down with Disease, Wolfman's Brother, Sparkle > Mike's Song -> Lifeboy > Weekapaug Groove[1], The Squirming Coil, Cavern

Encore: Ginseng Sullivan[2], Nellie Kane[2], Sweet Adeline[3]

[1] Vocal jam. [2] Acoustic; without microphones. [3] Without microphones.

Weekapaug contained a vocal jam. Ginseng Sullivan and Nellie Kane were performed acoustic and, along with Sweet Adeline, without microphones. This show was originally scheduled for The Palladium and was relocated at the last minute due to damage to that venue from the previous evening’s New Kids on the Block concert.

Notes from Phish.com:

This all ages show was Phish’s 1st visit to the Paul Wright Gym, “the highest collegiate gym in the world” with a capacity of about 2,000 and an altitude over 7,700 feet. During the Sparkle intro., Trey made a dedication – “this one is for Donna.” Before the solos in Brother, Trey yelled “talk about your uncle!” NICU was performed in its original, reggae arrangement. After Cold As Ice, Fish said “I’m sorry I can’t find my cymbals so we’re going to have to pass on the Neil Diamond tune.” As he started to explain he was going to sing an old Pink Floyd song, he found his cymbals and said “alright sorry, I lied again. I have my cymbals…and so we will begin with the ceremonial B-AHhhhh.” He also ad-libbed the alternative lyric “Girl if it lasts a whole hour, well that’s a Miracle, because we’ve got all night.” After Uncle Pen, Trey excitedly hollered that they would play a bit more bluegrass (to band shoutsof “Hoedown”, “Yeehaw” and the like). They proceeded to play what Brad called “Caverngrass” – a slightly bluegrass-inflected version of Cavern, complete with some double-time rhythm sections and alternate lyrics “The flesh from Satan’s doggie will make the rudiments of gruel”, “I saddled up the horses and headed down to the hoedown” and “Whatever you do, take care of your boots.” The encore, Big Black Furry Creature From Mars, contained a Make Your Own Guacamole jam using avocados the band supplied to the audience. Trey stopped between verses to say “This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. When we come to the gigs backstage they’re supposed to give us guacamole but all they gave us was avocados, so we’re now gonna make the guacamole right here. It’s called Make Your Own Guacamole”. Fish piped up “On the count of four, we’re all going to make our own guacamole” and they tore back into Creature. The rest of Creature included a tease of We’re Off To See The Wizard, repeated Mike screams of “I can’t hear you” and reportedly, stage divers.

[thisdayinphishtory]

23 years ago: Concert Hall - Toronto, Ontario, Canada - 1994

Phish • April 06, 1994 • Concert Hall • Toronto, Ontario • Canada

Set 1: Llama, Guelah Papyrus, Poor Heart, Stash, The Lizards, Sample in a Jar, Scent of a Mule, Fee -> Run Like an Antelope

Set 2: The Curtain > Down with Disease, Wolfman's Brother, Sparkle > Mike's Song -> Lifeboy > Weekapaug Groove[1], The Squirming Coil, Cavern

Encore: Ginseng Sullivan[2], Nellie Kane[2], Sweet Adeline[3]

[1] Vocal jam. [2] Acoustic; without microphones. [3] Without microphones.

Weekapaug contained a vocal jam. Ginseng Sullivan and Nellie Kane were performed acoustic and, along with Sweet Adeline, without microphones. This show was originally scheduled for The Palladium and was relocated at the last minute due to damage to that venue from the previous evening’s New Kids on the Block concert.

Notes from Phish.com:

This all ages show was Phish’s 1st visit to the Paul Wright Gym, “the highest collegiate gym in the world” with a capacity of about 2,000 and an altitude over 7,700 feet. During the Sparkle intro., Trey made a dedication – “this one is for Donna.” Before the solos in Brother, Trey yelled “talk about your uncle!” NICU was performed in its original, reggae arrangement. After Cold As Ice, Fish said “I’m sorry I can’t find my cymbals so we’re going to have to pass on the Neil Diamond tune.” As he started to explain he was going to sing an old Pink Floyd song, he found his cymbals and said “alright sorry, I lied again. I have my cymbals…and so we will begin with the ceremonial B-AHhhhh.” He also ad-libbed the alternative lyric “Girl if it lasts a whole hour, well that’s a Miracle, because we’ve got all night.” After Uncle Pen, Trey excitedly hollered that they would play a bit more bluegrass (to band shoutsof “Hoedown”, “Yeehaw” and the like). They proceeded to play what Brad called “Caverngrass” – a slightly bluegrass-inflected version of Cavern, complete with some double-time rhythm sections and alternate lyrics “The flesh from Satan’s doggie will make the rudiments of gruel”, “I saddled up the horses and headed down to the hoedown” and “Whatever you do, take care of your boots.” The encore, Big Black Furry Creature From Mars, contained a Make Your Own Guacamole jam using avocados the band supplied to the audience. Trey stopped between verses to say “This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. When we come to the gigs backstage they’re supposed to give us guacamole but all they gave us was avocados, so we’re now gonna make the guacamole right here. It’s called Make Your Own Guacamole”. Fish piped up “On the count of four, we’re all going to make our own guacamole” and they tore back into Creature. The rest of Creature included a tease of We’re Off To See The Wizard, repeated Mike screams of “I can’t hear you” and reportedly, stage divers.