#yes I am coping by making terrible puns and jokes

[i-dont-know-how-this-site-works]

So.

Out of 6 people in the batch, 3 are gone now.

*soup clone voice*"The Bad Batch? More like, the Half Batch."

[emboldens]

            “when I ask you about your first love i am always secretly hoping that you will say your own name. now, wouldn’t that be beautiful – to above else have a heart that was proud of itself.”

BASIC INFORMATION

Full name: Marlene McKinnon Pronunciation: Nickname(s): Mars, Mack, Lena Birthdate: 05/27/89 Age: 30 Zodiac: Gemini Gender: Female Pronouns: she/her Romantic orientation: Lesbian Sexual orientation: Lesbian Nationality: British Ethnicity: Japanese on her mother’s side, Irish and English on her father’s side Current location: London Living conditions: Living in the moment! 

BACKGROUND

Birthplace: London Hometown: Wiltshire, England Social Class: Middle, formerly upper Educational achievements: Graduated secondary school with honors Father:  Brian McKinnon was a smalltime character actor and BBC show runner infamous for his divisive, often politically incorrect dark comedies. Although his personality found popularity within the small niche of cynics and unsuccessful satirists, having his wife’s career overshadow his own tore away at his insecruties. These frustrations were never explicitly expressed, but glimmers of his envy more often than not took form through the mean-spirited “jokes” and the occasional arguments he subjected his wife and child to. He passed away in 2008 after a year-long battle with pancreatic cancer. He once claimed that his biggest dream was to play James Bond. Up until his death, this statement was believed to be part of his comedy routine. It was not. Mother:  Midori McKinnon (nee Iizuka) born into family of wealthy hotel owners who’d moved to London for better business prospects. Their wealth gave her access to the theatre world, where she slowly and steadily thrived, landing supporting roles in West End productions of Miss Saigon, Les Miserables, and Jesus Christ Superstar, in addition to her occasional stints at the Globe Theatre. By her mid-to late thirties, her career made a breakthrough in Hollywood, where she gained international renown for her grace, beauty, and intelligence. However, the poise she carried herself with did not translate as well off-camera, as she was subject to bouts of deep melancholy, stemming from an allegedly troubled childhood, a dissatisfaction with her marriage and her later estrangement from her daughter, and a family history of mental illness. She took the world by surprise when she took her own life at the young age of 45. Today, her performance as Ophelia in a 1991 production of Shakespeare’s Hamlet is considered legendary. Her biggest dream was also to play James Bond. Sibling(s): None Birth order: Only child Pets: Two cats, Vita and Virginia, and a St. Bernard named Samus Previous relationships: Alecto Carrow, TBD Arrests: 3 Prison time: None

OCCUPATION AND INCOME

Current occupation: Bar owner Dream occupation: Wife of a lesbian Alpaca breeder Past job(s): Prior to opening a bar, she was a saleslady at Lush. Spending habits: Mostly thrifty, but occasionally makes large transactions for things she sees as investments for her business. In debt?: Yes Most valuable possession: Sentimentally? Her copy of Matilda, which was the first novel she ever read.

SKILLS AND ABILITIES

Physical strength: Average  Speed: Average Intelligence: Above Average Accuracy: Average Agility: Average Stamina: Average Teamwork: Prefers to work alone, as her issues with authority mostly get in the way. Talents/hobbies: With over eleven years of vocal training and the fortune of having a musical actress for a mother, Marlene can sing surprisingly well, boasting a four-octave mezzo-soprano range. She doesn’t tell anyone about it, because she likes surprising people at karaoke nights. Shortcomings: Fears vulnerability and commitment, has a tendency to appear frivolous due to her cheeky demeanor, occasionally self-destructive Languages spoken: English, some Japanese. Drive?: Yes Jump-start a car?: No Change a flat tyre?: Yes Ride a bicycle?: Yes Swim?: Yes Play an instrument?: Yes Play chess?: No Braid hair?: Yes Tie a tie?: Yes. Pick a lock?: Yes Cook?: Debatable

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND CHARACTERISTICS

Faceclaim: Sonoya Mizuno Eye colour: Brown Hair colour: Black Hair type/style/length: Long, sleek, and straight Glasses/contacts?: Yes Dominant hand: Left Height: 5′7 Weight: 56 kg Build: Lean and fit Exercise habits: Weekly gym visits, jogging regularly Skin tone: Fair Tattoos:  Butterfly with shadow ( Right shoulder, 2007 ), Moon cycle band ( Left arm, 2007 ), Velociraptor skull ( Right hand, 2008 ), Pterodactyl skeleton ( Chest, 2009 ), Apatosaurus skeleton ( Left leg, 2010 ), Spiderweb ( Elbow, 2010 ), Van Gogh skull smoking ( Collarbone, 2011 ), Floral sleeve ( Right arm, 2012 ), Floral design ( Neck, 2012 ), Marlene Dietrich smoking ( Right arm, 2013 ), Semicolon ( Left wrist, 2015 ), Band-aid ( Above the heart, 2016 ), “It’s chaos. Be kind.” ( Above the left elbow crease, 2016 ), The Star and The Moon tarot cards ( Left arm, 2017 ), Junji Ito comic panel ( Upper back, 2017 ), Phoenix ( Thigh, 2018 ) Piercings: Outer conch, labret, and brow Marks/scars: None Clothing style: Casual, monochromatic. Not a big fan of dresses or shorts. Allergies: None Diet: Mostly, but not exclusively vegetarian Physical ailments: TERRIBLE period cramps

PSYCHOLOGY

MBTI type: INFP - A (64% introverted, 66% intuiive, 57% feeling, 69% prospecting) Enneagram type: Type 9 Moral Alignment: Chaotic neutral Temperament: Sanguine Element: Water Emotional stability: Marlene appears to be stable on the surface, but her repressed feelings of guilt, anger and grief over her broken relationship with her mother still linger within, making her prone to bouts of extreme despondency. Introvert or Extrovert?: Introvert Obsession(s): The Leaky Bucket will know when Marlene is on her period because on the first two days, the pub’s radio will exclusively play a single female artist’s discography on repeat. Last month, it was Mitski. The month before, it was Regina Spektor. On a month she denies existed, it was Taylor Swift. Compulsion(s): Humor as a coping mechanism, repressing negative feelings, self-awareness without self-improvement Phobia(s): None Addiction(s): Nicotine Drug use: When she was younger Alcohol use: Occasionally Prone to violence?: No Prone to crying?: On her monthly cycle, yes. Believe in love at first sight?: Yes, but to her, this is very, very rare.

MANNERISMS

Accent: English, London dialect Speech quirks: None Hobbies: Casual video gaming, interior design, music curation Habits: Sitting on surfaces that aren’t meant to be sat on, smoking Nervous ticks: Lip biting, staring at the ground, blinking, diverting the subject with crass humor Drives/motivations: Maintaining her current lifestyle. Fears: Cockroaches Sense of humour?: Almost anything goes. Puns are her guilty pleasure, though she won’t admit it. Prefers subtle humor over loud, straightforward jokes, but either is fine. Enjoys vulgarity. Loves banter. Do they curse often?: Moderately.

FAVOURITES

Animal: Wolf Beverage: Bubble tea Book: Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan Colour: Red Food: Pork dumplings Flower: Plumeria Gem: Emerald Mode of transportation: Train Scent: Petrichor Sport: Gymnastics Weather: Sunny & breezy Vacation destination: Reykjavík

ATTITUDES

Greatest dream: Slow life. She aspires for nothing more than a peaceful existence with a person who understands her and her values. Greatest fear: the Duolingo Owl Most at ease when: Curating playlists for the Leaky Bucket Least as ease when: Somebody ( namely, certain Black family cousins ) threatens the security of her bar. Worst possible thing that could happen: For the Order to dismantle, or lose their ideals Biggest achievement: The Leaky Bucket! Biggest regret: Not reaching out to her mother before it was too late.

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

for @poppy27 Number 18 and two more that seemed to fit!

18: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

26: Which one gets more excited over the first snow of winter?

16: Who makes the other hot chocolate?

Simon

It’s our second day in Hampshire. The sky looked like it wanted to snow all day yesterday but it finally came down overnight. I pull open the curtains in Baz’s room and the whole countryside is transformed—white and soft and shimmering in the morning sunlight.

 “Baz! It finally snowed!”

Cool arms circle my waist and Baz rests his chin on my shoulder. “I should expect you’ll be out in it all day then?” His lips brushing my ear make me shiver. Not because I’m cold.

I lean my head into him. “It is the first snow of the year.”

Baz 

It got colder overnight. I haven’t bothered to build up the fire yet. I far prefer Simon’s warmth. I’m wrapped around him, soaking up the heat that’s radiating from his skin. 

That never changed, after he lost his magic. He doesn’t have that smoky, green scent anymore. But he kept the heat.I’m grateful for it and not because it warms me when I touch him. I’m thankful because it’s always been part of Simon and it’s something that wasn’t taken away, when he poured his magic into the Humdrum.

I miss Simon’s magic. Not as much as he does, of course. No one could ever miss it as much as Simon does. 

He’s coping. He’s managing to live his life without it.

There are times I think I can feel it. It’s probably my imagination, my wanting to sense it again.But I swear to Merlin there are moments when I catch the faint scent of his magic or feel the distant thrum of it when I touch him. I know that scent. I know that magic.

I know what it felt like coursing through me, overpowering my senses, making me drunk with the overwhelming power of it. Making me warm. Making me not feel so alone.

Making me feel so connected to Simon. 

It took my breath away.

We don’t talk about it much anymore, the loss of it. I don’t want him to get his hopes up. I don’t want to get my hopes up. The magic is coming back to the holes. It’s been coming back slowly for months now. Little by little. Filling the places that were lost. It started here, actually. Professor Bunce thinks it’s because this was one of the last places the Humdrum attacked. The later holes are the ones that are filling up the quickest. The early ones are still void of magic.

My family moved back here a few months ago. It’s nearly back to what it was before, just a few small dead spots in the woods. I walked through one the night we arrived, when I was hunting. Makes me shudder to think of it.

To think back.

I wasn’t sure if we should come. Father wanted us here for Christmas. The whole family did. We haven’t been here since that Christmas. We’ve visited my family in Oxford, at my father’s  London flat, vacationed with them in France. But this is the first time we’ve visited Hampshire since they moved back into Pitch Manor.

 I wasn’t sure how Simon would feel about coming back but he’s been absolutely enthusiastic about it.

Not about the wraiths or the gargoyles on my bed, mind you. He’s still prejudiced against them. 

It’s been comforting for him to hear that the holes are filling in, I think. Simon has taken on a lot of guilt for occurrences that were beyond his control. He’s felt responsible for the holes. For my family having to move. For magic being lost.

It’s made me think about Simon getting his magic back. I can’t talk to him about it. I can’t let him think it might be possible. I can’t let him hope.

I can’t let myself hope.

But logically if the magic is coming back to the holes then there should be the possibility of it coming back to Simon. Professor Bunce agrees with me. We’ve talked about it, those times when we visit and Simon is occupied catching up with Bunce and her numerous siblings. He’s cautious but hopeful.

I’ve tried to push my magic into Simon. Like he used to share his with me.

It doesn’t work. I can push it to him but it doesn’t last. It lets him feel it for a moment, maybe cast a single simple spell but then it’s gone. Having it for a moment and losing it again is almost worse than not having it at all. 

I don’t do that anymore.

Simon shifts in my arms, turning to face me. He’s frowning.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop thinking whatever it is you’re thinking, Baz.”

“How do you know I’m thinking anything? I’m just trying to get warm. The fire’s gone out again.”

“I know you, you absolute wanker. I know that look. Whatever it is you’re obsessing about just stop.”

“I’m not the obsessive one.”

“Isn’t that a laugh.” Simon grins up at me. “You know me better than I know myself sometimes, Baz.” He pulls me closer and his lips brush over mine. “Stop it. We’re having a snow day and you’re going to enjoy yourself, if I have to make you myself.”

I lose myself in his lips, pulling back reluctantly to rest my forehead on his.“Must I go out in the snow?”

“You know the little ‘uns will love it. You don’t have to spend all day outside.”

“You’re going to make me frolic in the snow, Simon. I don’t do that. Pitches don’t frolic.”

“Rubbish. No one’s asking you to frolic. Build a snowman or snowwraith or something with Mordelia. Pelt the twins with a snowball or two. Take Magnus down the hill once.” Simon cups my face with his hands. “Then you can come inside and curl up by the fire with a book.”

“I’d rather curl up with you. You’re warmer than the fire.”

“Is that all I am to you? A personal heater?” There’s a smirk on Simon’s face now.

“It is convenient.” I can’t keep from smiling back at him.

“Who’s going to entertain the little ‘uns if I’m keeping you warm inside?”

“They’re old enough to entertain themselves. I certainly managed, at their age.”

“Yes, but you’re an anomaly.” Simon kisses me on the nose. “Now come on, Baz. We’ve got fresh snow and sun and four little people who need to get out of the house!”

I build a snowman with Mordelia. Ophelia and Acantha end up pelting me with snowballs. Magnus won’t go sliding down the hill unless he is on my lap.

I make snow angels with Simon and kiss his flushed face until Mordelia kicks me in the shin and tells me to stop snogging.

She seems to think because she’s just turned ten she’s some kind of monitor now.

I leave Simon to the not-so-tender mercies of my younger siblings and head inside. I don’t curl up by the fire with a book. I stand at the window and watch Simon.

He’s a natural with children. He gets down on the floor and rolls around with Magnus. He listens carefully when Mordelia or the twins tell him stories and fancies. He asks questions about their nonsense and encourages them to tell him more.

He laughs at Ophelia’s jokes and Acantha’s terrible puns.

I don’t know where Acantha gets her penchant for puns. The twins are far too precocious for seven year olds. Almost as bad as Mordelia.

Simon’s chasing them all in the snow now, pelting them with snowballs. They make a unified attack and take him down, Magnus clutching at Simon’s leg. He’s covered with snow and trying to shove all four of them off. 

Simon looks glorious.

I drink in the sight of him for another moment.

Then I head to the kitchen to tell Vera to expect a snowy maelstrom of children at any minute.

I’ll start making the hot chocolate.

Simon 

My fingers are numb by the time we all get back inside. Magnus is shivering, poor little blighter, and the girls’ hair is all crusted with snow. 

Ophelia lost her hat somewhere out there. Acantha is missing a mitten. I’ll have to send Baz out to magic them up later.

We tromp into the kitchen, trailing snow across the pristine floor. Vera’s eyes widen at the sight of us mucking up the space but Baz reaches us first. 

He spells the mess on the floor away and then proceeds to speedily get his siblings out of their snow gear. He’s fast and efficient and tender all at the same time.

Baz doesn’t realize how he is with the little ‘uns. He snaps at Mordelia, yeah (she has no concept of privacy) (he’s had to spell the door of his room shut) (she’s almost walked in on us) (thank Merlin for vampire hearing.)

But he’s softer than he admits. He’ll spend hours in the library reading them stories or telling them tales he just makes up on the spot. They want Baz for bedtime stories, when he’s home. And even though it takes hours to get all four of them down he still does it. Every time.

Magnus follows him around like a little shadow. Mordelia is the only one who’s managed to get the eyebrow raise right. Doesn’t stop the rest from trying. Makes me laugh, it does.

Makes me think sometimes. Think of what he’d be like. As a father.

Then I make myself stop thinking about it because it scares me.

Because I don’t know how to do that.

 I’m terrible at so many things. I’d probably be awful at that too.

And I don’t want to be awful at it. 

Because it should mean something, to be a parent. 

And I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

“Stop it.” Baz hands me a cup of hot chocolate.

“Stop what?”

Baz’s arm slides around my waist. “Stop thinking. Your brow is all furrowed. You’re going to scare the children.” He kisses my temple.

“I never scare the children. They think I’m a git.”

He pulls me closer. “You know they don’t think you’re a git. They love you more than me, I think. You’re far more congenial.”

“That I am. Not hard to manage that though. You’re piss poor competition for congeniality.” Baz bumps his hip into mine, nearly upsetting my hot chocolate. I drink some, to keep from spilling it.

The children are all seated at the table, hot chocolate and biscuits monopolizing their attention. I rest my head on Baz’s shoulder. “I’m glad we came. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this.”

Baz

“I know.” I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it either. 

Watching Simon with the children makes me think. Think of what it would be like.

If we had our own.

[durenjtmusings]

12.10 Fan Appreciation post

Annnd here I am again, providing a recap of @elizabethrobertajones  wonderful

12x10 watching notes

While last time it was because her notes just tickled the life out of me, this time it is because I read her meta AFTER so may others - and I think she managed to capture almost all of the things so many of us are saying about this last episode. So this time it isn’t so much all the “funny bits”  - although those are in there too - but because reading through her highlights nicely aggregates what I’m seeing as almost everyone’s responses to the show. THIS time, I’m using her play by play to add all MY meta about watching, and appreciating, the fandom...appreciating this episode.

Read on for my play by play fandom meta of @elizabethrobertajones play by play of SPN 12.10 (warning metric 1/4 ton of spoilers).

{Again, my comments are bracketed in and in italics}

Weirdly specific but excellent trope: immortal black ladies who have terrible impulse control around arcades. I’m going to be so sad when Lily kills her. {STOP WRITING COOL, POWERFUL WOC AND THEN KILLING THEM OFF}

[kind of sad we already know she’s called Lily because even though Lily Sunder is an incredible name, I wanted to call her Eyepatch Lady and I don’t have to] {We all really liked Lily and the eyepatch was doing it for us and CHARLIE IN THE VIDEO GAME OMG the parallels}

I don’t like this new trend of Sam and Dean actually communicating and talking about their shit. This is awful. Can we go back to them not talking about anything? {SPN fandom culture shock - actual normal/healthy communication. We struggle to cope, but are LOVING the struggle.}

Dean is going to CRASH THE CAR. Sam’s breaking point is Dean literally rotating 180 degrees in his seat to talk back at Cas. :P {OMG this moment had us ALL arm flailing - CAS sass made Dean forget Baby! Cas is more important to Dean than BABY! *panic*}

Aaand the info about Benjamin and his vessel has officially murdered me, especially as he’s already dead. :< Angel/human friendships! *flails emotionally* *flops over and slowly slides off my chair* *resumes watching from the floor because of Cas staring at Benjamin’s wings* {”Friends” - OMG the Destiel meta exploded...more arm flailing}

“If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know” - I honestly did not think it was possible to love Cas more than I already did but he keeps on proving me wrong. {Cas sass. At. Dean. It was a thing this episode. A thing of beauty.}

Cas is catching up on what feels like a 3 year backlog of angry squinting {LOLOLOLOL - I didn’t realize this until she pointed it out. But oh yeah, squinting sass.}

Ahahaha Sam no. (Please keep Sam-ing like this. You are the Sam I love so very much :P) {So done Sam was so done repeatedly in this episode. LOTS of Sam as 3rd wheel/peacemaker commentary from all of us.}

“My friends who don’t listen very well” *Dean smirks at Cas* Okay, but I’m taking a screencap of that to use as like, a phone background or something. {OMG that smirk, and the three-men-on-a-bench scene overall...collective sigh and massive giffing.}

Well, home will still be very snarky and passive aggressive when he lives there but at least it will feel like HIS snarky passive-aggressive hunter-filled home. {I LOVE this description of the bunker. And we all cheered Cas clearly sticking around in the bunker - despite the PA fighting with Dean.}

Not surprisingly, Ishim then gets attacked and lightly stabbed. (that was a pun. Because angels bleed light - I’ll show myself out) {no, no, I LIKE puns...don’t stop}

idk how the casting went for this but it was probably “can you do Cas’s Eyebrow” {LOLOL  Lots of love for this actress and the wardrobe dept.’s decisions.}

Ishim just confirmed all the spec that this is a human marrying an angel and I’m contemplating going out to stand in the rain and shriek into the sky {snip}. Rain is great, when you need to shriek :P {Yeah, LOTS of happy meta/speculation over angel marriage in this episode.}

It’s times like this I remember the translation to the angel tablet is just sitting in the bunker in a language Cas can read and I need to go shriek in the rain some more {I KNOW right? I mean who says that nephilim are inherently BAD? Is it even ON the tablet? Or was it just some Admin angel’s stupid human-hating rules?}

I think it’s stopped raining so if I need to shriek I don’t know where to go {pat, pat.}

Sam you fucking third wheel master level dork. He’s been mediating so many fights that even when he’s in the middle of one as a participant he takes on this role :P {This has been a favorite gifset  -  I’ve seen it, and enjoyed it, repeatedly. Oh, and I’m going to use “master-level dork” in conversation as soon as possible.}

*looks around for something to scream into* *picks Mittens’s chat bubble since the sky is not in the right setting* {Poor Mittens - but don’t worry, she can take it; she is a scary fierce Nazghul looking entity (wearing favored hand coverings)}

angel love triangle drama is so tense. {how does that sentence even happen much less make sense - ah, the wonders of the SPN Universe}

Heh, Sam’s being left with Lily and Dean goes to check on Cas. What a wild surprise. {djtmusings fanfic/meta prompt - If SAM had gone to Cas instead, would Isham have threatened to cut HIM out? And would Sam have used the angel sigil? Discuss.}

I did the “AAH OTP INTERACTING” fist pump when Dean rushed over to Cas all urgent and worried, and now Dean’s just… like. Holding Cas. Help. I think I dislocated a finger making frantic handwaving :P - My arm legit really hurts. {Yeah, that was something of a medical epidemic in fandom...}

HOLY CRAP then Dean picks CAS over banishing Ishim when he shows Cas is Dean’s weakness too i ...am probably burning my dinner in the oven {Ditto fandom - although the meal varied around the globe}

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BLOODSTAINED SON {Yes. Let’s.}

“I’m not mad I’m worried” Oh man all this stuff in the main text sucks because I deduced this back at the start through clever analysis of their dialogue and now what I can tell from this line is that… Dean is worried about Cas. {Ha, ha, joke’s on you, the writers chose NOT to be subtextual - more OMG actual communicating and we all slid out of our chairs into puddles.}

Can’t believe Dean and Cas are married. {Said every. fan. on. my. dash.}

Bonus - Steve Yocky love  from the fandom: @elizabethrobertajones:  “ tl;dr Yockey owes me dinner “ @grey2510: Kudos to Steve Yockey. Well done, sir. @randomdestielfangirl: And before we proceed, Steve Yockey… Marry me @mittensmorgul: *posts an ask with “ Steve yockey's  writing healed me “ and a Julie Andrews dancing the hills are alive gif with # steve Yockey appreciation blog* @thevioletcaptain: “...it’s clear that character is definitely Yockey’s thing." @dorkilysoulless: I think we can trust Yockey with canon, guys.   @procasdeanating: Thank you, Mr. Yockey, for using that very specific term {Friends} again. @formidablepassion: My dudes, I think…I think Steve Yockey might be a Wincestiel shipper. [With 3 men and bench scene gif] @waywardpsych-o: Petition for Steve Yockey to write every episode of Supernatural from now on until forever. @bbycas: But actually did someone screw up and publish Steve Yockey’s secret fan-fiction as the episode script by accident or @theslaughteredpanda: Can someone find me Steve Yockey, I wanna give him a giantass hug and millions of kisses Thank you, Sir. Thank you …so many. @the-faerie-circle: CAN WE KEEP STEVE YOCKEY FOREVER AND EVER PLEASE AND THANK YOU {and someone said something like “and can someone please tell me who’s been slipping Steve Yockey 20′s because I want in on that action” but I can’t find it now.}