#yes I was mostly thinking of philippe and chevy

[unclefungusthegoat]

This is probably the dumbest feeling I’ve had so far surrounding Versailles lmao, but I saw the pics of the new Marie Antoinette series, of people standing in the Hall of Mirrors and like... I suddenly got hit with a wave of sadness that all the characters in Versailles that we love would be dead at that point. Is that stupid? Like... Versailles is a show based on real life people who are already dead and have been for a very long time at this point. I obviously went into the series knowing this. Not a one has ever been alive while I have been alive.

And yet... suddenly I just felt sad.

[artiegayberg]

monsieur/chevalier for the otp thing also feel better lad

Cheers lad

1. Who rocks the Ferris wheel and who begs them to stop? Philippe rocks the Ferris wheel, because he is terrible and naughty. Even if Chevy didn’t freak out at that he’d definitely get motion sick within 0.3 seconds and force Philippe to stop for the sake of their clothes.2. Who is always horny? Both they’re both awful, maybe Philippe more so (and especially as they grew older Chevy provided lots of younger men for him because he couldn’t keep up himself) but still.3. Who is more into baths/showers together and who makes it sexual? Philippe is always the one to either invite Chevy or invite himself (by which I mean appearing unexpectedly and causing a lot of startled, indignant splashing). Chevy makes it sexual.

4. Who walks around naked and who tells the other to put clothes on? Philippe - Chevy enjoys his own fashion sense too much to go anywhere beyond the bedroom without it. Let’s be honest though the only time he asks/tells Philippe to get dressed is when he wants to dress him.5. Who sleeps on the couch after a fight? Chevy slinks off back to his own rooms but they’re both too proud(/vain) to sleep on any couch.6. Who takes photos of the other sleeping? Both - what better way to scandalise the nobles than with pictures of your fucked-out naked lover?? Kind of fits the modern equivalent of them telling the court about their kinky sex life.7. Who said “I love you” first and who ends fights with “because I love you”? Chevy was first to say it, Philippe was first to say it and mean it. For both of them I think their argument style is more very personal nasty comments and threats, so neither really? There was that one time Chevy begged the king to let him leave court because he loved Philippe too much to watch while he lost him or whatever but I think that was more manipulative than genuine and it wasn’t direct so does it really count??8. Who likes to wear the other’s sweatshirts? They both shamelessly borrow the other’s clothes like if a certain waistcoat would match their outfit they’ll just take it but it doesn’t happen all that often - they’re both very fashion-conscious bellmen with huge wardrobes of their own. Chevy is very slightly more careful about it than Philippe.9. Who wakes up the other in the middle of the night over a cool dream? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after? Chevy is such a deep sleeper it’s ridiculous and neither of them appreciate being woken at ungodly hours so the first doesn’t really happen at all. Philippe definitely has the most nightmares but I don’t think either of them would seek comfort like that? They’re both highkey into cuddling though like one of those mythical couples who stay cuddling really close all night and that’s just the right amount of comfort for them both without feeling crowded (Philippe) or embarrassed (Chevy).10. Who is more likely to cheat? Is it cheating if you share a group of mignons and occasionally both wander into other beds(/behind bushes/empty corridors/etc)? They both sleep around in ways that upsets the other and it’s by no means healthy but they don’t keep it secret from each other and their relationship was pretty open to start with so?? Where should the lines be drawn??? 11. Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who reminds them that they’re in a relationship? Neither - Philippe values that affection too highly and it’s just not Chevy’s style.12. Who starts a food fight? They team up together against some poor unsuspecting noble. Probably bishop Bossuet. 13. Who initiates duets? Who is the better singer? Philippe is probably the better singer but neither of them are really interested in singing.14. Who starts the hand-holding? Usually Philippe Who grabs the butt? BOTH Who slides their arm around the other’s waist? Again both they’re so tactile it’s ridiculous Who puts their fingers in the belt loops? And again both whoops look at all these things they have in common15. Who writes the other’s name on their wrist? Why settle for that when you can make out in the gardens/cuddle and feed each other at expensive dinners16. Who is more seductive when they’re drunk? Who is loudest in bed? Honestly does Chevy even have a non-seductive setting I’m sure he’s only worse-behaved drunk. Also Chevy is very shamelessly the loudest.17. Who is more protective? Chevy is kind of possessive, Philippe is more than kind of charmed by it.18. Who talks to the other while they are sleeping? Neither on purpose, unless maybe they’re really really drunk.19. Who drives and who has the window seat? They take it in turns, but both prefer sitting in the passenger seat and being the most annoying backseat drivers.20. Who falls asleep in the other’s lap and who carries them to bed? They both fall asleep draped across each other on a regular basis. Philippe will (usually) carry Chevy to bed, depending on how far the walk is and how much he wants the sleepy cuddles, but Chevy can’t run down a corridor without wheezing so there is no chance he’s fit enough to carry Philippe any distance without dropping him, which is less than romantic. 21. Who cuts the other’s hair? No????? Have you seen that hair it is a scissors-free zone22. Who is super bad at sexting? Who sends encouraging messages? Well Philippe’s idea of dirty talk is speechifying about how war turns his dick into a baby’s fist so what more evidence do you need. Chevy sends inappropriate messages at inappropriate times but they’re at least kind of encouraging?? 23. Who thinks they aren’t good enough for the other’s love? Neither tbh, though they’re both incredibly reliant on it.Who’s more afraid of losing the other? I think it’s pretty equal but for different reasons? Chevy is one of few people Philippe genuinely loves, and even fewer that he doesn’t see as fake or constantly betraying him. Chevy is mostly unpopular at court - without Philippe he would have no power, no good reputation and very little chance of finding anyone to love him so well. Who thinks they keep messing up and the other tells them not to worry? Again neither, I mean Chevy tried to brush off the whole treason thing in the show.24. Who starts random slow-dancing in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground to kiss them? Chevy though it usually ends up more sexual than romantic because they’re both Terrible. Idk I mean there was that one time Chevy picked Philippe up and threw him on the bed?? But is he strong enough to manage it for much longer than a few seconds? nO25. Who says shitty puns and sex jokes to see the other giggle and blush? BOTH but Chevy is much better at it. Yes this is purely based on the fact that he’s never referred to his dick as a baby’s clenched fist sorry Philippe xoxo26. Who kissed first? Chevy - if you’re going to seduce the heir of the throne you gotta see it all the way through 27. Who orders takeout at 2am? Who wakes the other up at 3am to get them a glass of water because it’s Too Dark downstairs? Both tbh 2am sex is very hungry business. Probably neither but more likely Chevy than Philippe - the Duke of Orleans is a big brave war hero and even if he wasn’t, waking Chevy up at 3am is probably not worth the effort28. Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs they write for them? My name is Philippe, I am a poet, I wrote this poem just to show it, and I, have a huge war kink and an entire infant in my trousers byE29. Who does some crazy stunt to impress the other and who drives them to the emergency room when it backfires? I mean Philippe is far braver but all I can think of is that one time Chevy went to war and was hit by a grenade and Philippe gave up his carriage for him they’re both so extra 30. Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute? PHILIPPE I mean Alex has reading glasses so it’s almost canon. Chevy thinks they’re adorable. Also wouldn’t work the other way because you wouldn’t catch Chevy dead in glasses.