#and then about liselotte | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lunamochii · 3 months

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'No more running away.' || atsumu x f!reader

synopsis;

Atsumu doesn't know how to express his feelings and keeps on hurting you.

cw // slight angst, tsundere atsumu, fluff at the end, timeskip tsumu.

¤¤¤

"I love you, Liselotte."

"I love you too, Sieg."

You finish the cake and the soda you bought on your way home from your work, you also finish the romance anime you are watching and damn did that made you feel more depress than ever. Switching off your computer, you look outside from your window and taking a look at the red hue sky.

"I also want to love someone or be love by someone..."

Then you turn to look at your reflection at the mirror beside you and can't help but laugh to yourself knowing full well why anyone wouldn't want to date you. You got up and decided to wash all the dishes and utensils you used.

When done you decided to sleep and while passing by your fridge you saw the tomorrow's date and just shrugs. It will be the same as last year, you will be alone.

You woke up but you remain laying down on your bed not wanting to get up, then your alarm go off and instead of turning off you let it be.

"Ah... I'm sick of this."

Despite all that unwillingness you were on hours ago, you found yourself standing outside the gym. Getting here wasn't that hard as you did your best to ignore all the decorations and the vendors who were selling those heart shape designs. Couples laughing and hugging on the park, side of the street.

"Oh! Your here early, manager!"

You turn around and saw Shoyo and you greeted him with a smile, right. Today is no different from every other days you've live up to.

"Morning, Shoyo."

The two of you walk together inside the gym and you let him take over of the conversation as he talk about how in the past he never gets a single thing during valentines but on his way here, girls were giving him gifts and everything. That's when you notice on how bulky his bag is.

"Oh.. I didn't prepare anything for the team.."

Shoyo immediately catch on and stop on his tracks as he search something frantically on his bag and when he got it he immediately handed it to you

"I actually prepared this for the team! This is yours!"

You carefully took it from his hands and saw it was a cupcake shape in a heart and your name is written on it.

"Shoyo... pfft- hahaha this is so cute! Thank you!"

You hug him and Shoyo breath out seeing how your mood went up, the moment he saw you standing outside the gym he knew something was off and his glad he did prepare those cupcakes with the help of his sister.

Both of you got where to the others are and Shoyo handed his cupcakes and the others saw how he got you a valentines gift, others followed suit making you smile warmly and thank them wholeheartedly.

"Hm? Aren't you going to give our cute manager here a valentine gift Miya-kun?"

Meian the captain of MSBY team tug on the setter and Atsumu answered him with a scowl on his face, ever since you took the job on being the manager of this team. Not even once did Atsumu Miya smiled to your way.

"Ehh should I really? I don't see a reason to give her anything though."

Right. His not wrong too, why would he give you something right? It's not like you two are that close. You only became their manager just a year ago. You also know how much he hates you, despite your spiraling thoughts you manage to smile.

"You didn't have to say it that way Miya!"

"Captain, it's okay. I'm okay. You guys can proceed on practicing, I'll just put your gifts on the locker room."

The voleyball players watch your disappearing figure and they couldn't even say anything. Then their heads turn to Atsumu who was also taken back by what he said and see how sad you look, made him mentally punch himself.

"Miya! You could have worded that nicely!"

Meian angrily said and Atsumu grit his teeth, everyone here knows how much he likes you. He likes you so much that he goes crazy whenever you show your support on the team. He likes you so much that everytime he look over to where you usually sit during one of his matches, he always feels like he can smash the opponent with just his serve.

"Why do you care? It's her own fault if she gets hurt by just that!"

"Miya!"

The others quickly held back their captain from attacking their setter

"What has gotten into you TsumTsum? You like he-"

"I don't!! Like?! More like, I hate her!!"

The sound of water bottle dropping on the wooden floor grab everyone's attention and they spotted you standing there completely dumbfounded. Atsumu's breath hitches seeing you.

"Haha I never knew you hated me that much. Don't worry, I will do my best to stay out of your sight."

No. You should always be at the line of his sight. He doesn't hate you. Don't make that kind of face.

"Let go of me!"

Atsumu storm out of the court. Why is he so mad? Is it because Shoyo manage to beat him on giving you a present? Because the others got you a lot more beautiful gifts? He kick the vending machine. He didn't mean those words. He didn't mean to hurt you.

¤¤

Weeks have pass ever since that incident and you live up to your word, doing your best to stay out of his sight. Making the setter get more agitated, his not doing that great during practice match. His serves doesn't feel that great and their coach have been reprimanding him. He knows he needs to be on his best since they have a upcoming match.

"Thanks!"

"No problem."

He glances at the side and saw you interacting with the others and the sight of you smiling, smiling to the others and not him, it sure made him more agitated. When it was time for their practice, he keeps on missing on the timing.

"Atsumu, set your personal matters aside. I don't need a player who gets distracted easily."

"Sorry coach.."

Grabbing a towel and a water bottle he sat down on a corner, he watch the others play but his eyes search for you and when he found you, a smile appeared to his lips but it disappeared quickly seeing how you laugh and smile fondly towards Kotaro.

"Isn't your birthday the same day our match is?! We should all go drinking after!"

Kotaro suggested but you feel the need to decline, for you it's just another normal day. You got used spending it alone that you even decline the company of your closest friends.

"Ah, Sorry! I made plans with my friends that day so I can't!"

Lies drip from your lips effortlessly

"Ehh really? Too bad, let's go drinking the other day then!"

"Hahaha okay okay! Now, go back to practice."

You push him back on the court and you let out a sigh, you start to pick up the used towels and water bottles and when you were about to refill the bottles, you saw Atsumu staring at you. You bowed curtly and ran away. Ran away from him and that hurt Atsumu.

¤¤

"Can't be help. They were prepared this time, the defeat you experience today only means that you guys still need to keeps on improving. You all can go home after stretching."

You couldn't bring yourself to speak seeing how devastated they look, despite doing their best they couldn't win against the opponent. Meian, being the captain steps up and clap his hands getting the attention of his members.

"Okay, we just need to train harder! Le-"

"My toss was perfect. So why couldn't you hit it perfectly?"

The cold voice of Atsumu followed by his words stop the captain, they all look at him and notice how his glaring hard at Kotaro.

"Huh?"

"Or are you too busy flirting with our manager that you couldn't focus on our game?"

"That's going too far."

Kiyoomi who is usually silent steps up

"Yeah, Bokuto-san was playing just as usual. It's just our oppone-"

"Really? Because every time out he always manages to flirt with her. Maybe his too engrossed with her that *SLAP*"

Atsumu felt his world stop as soon he felt the stinging pain on his cheeks, his eyes slowly drops on the person who just did that to him and his world crumble upon seeing your tears racing down from your eyes to your cheeks

"I know you hate me but you don't have any right to blame other people for the loss you guys got today!"

His hand mindlessly reach out to you but you slap it away and glared at him

"You're the worst."

¤¤

"She's not coming today too..."

Shoyo feels defeated seeing how their training is coming to an end but they didn't see you again. It's been four days and no one got the guts to voice out the reason for the thick air around the team. Atsumu resorted to practicing alone, Kotaro refuses to speak to the setter too despite the convincing of their captain.

"We can't blame her. Atsumu's words were really harsh."

Shion, the libero of their team speaks up and Shoyo silently agree. He might have known Atsumu during his highschool days but he knows he didn't mean any of those words. Atsumu may deny it but Shoyo sees how the setter looks at their manager.

Wake up, eat, sleep and repeat. That has been your routine for four days.

Atsumu's words really did a unthinkable impact to you, despite him showing not any ounce of an interest ever since you join the team, you still like him. Yes, you like him. During your highschool years, you watch one of his match during nationals and you were drawn to him seeing how he passionately loves to play voleyball. You couldn't be more than happier when you were accepted as a manager of the MSBY, knowing you applied for this job to be close to him but who knew he would be like this? Who would have thought that ha hates you.

"Let's just go to sle- *ring ring*"

You let out a grunt and reach out to your phone, not bothering who's the caller only to be met with your friend's loud voice

"Oi! How dare you ignore our messages and call?! Don't tell me you didn't do anything during your birthday?!"

You groan and check to see who and saw it was one of your very close friend, well, after that day you decided to block anyone who tries to call or text you since you wanted to be alone, it was only today that you lifted that block.

"A hello would have been good." You muttered and got up from your bed

"Dress warm and come down. We are all waiting for you."

"Huh?"

You immediately ran out from your apartment and there they are, you saw your friends holding a bottle of beers and snacks. When they spotted you, they all grin at you.

"Hurry! You have made us waited for days already!"

You stare at them blankly before laughing and going back inside to change into warm clothes, you pick your keys and immediately went out. When you got to them, they all jump at you and greeted you belayed happy birthday.

"Okay! Let's get drunk!"

"I DON'T WANNA BE SINGLE ANYMORE! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE ON WHAT TYPE OF MAN YOU GIVE ME GOD!"

Your friends bursted out to laughter after hearing what you scream, you guys are currently sitting by the riverbank enjoying the drinks and foods they brought with them. You all catch up to each other's lives and it didn't matter if you guys barely texted to each other because at the end of day, all of you will find it's way to each other and will always end up sitting together and talk about how's everyones life.

You guys drink and talk for 2 hours before deciding it is time go home, they all walk you back to your apartment since you were the one who is very wasted. They wanted to walk you towards your apartment door but you ushered them to just go home already. Since you didn't wanna bother them any longer plus you didn't want to let them see how mess your home currently is.

On the other hand, Osamu manage to knock some sense on his twin and Atsumu found himself standing by your home's door. When he was about to knock, he heard steps at his right side and when he saw you, he took a step back

"Atsumu? Hmm can't be him. Who are you?"

You walk up closer to him but you're too drunk to see clearly, Atsumu caught on the smell of alcohol and he curses when you stumbled on your feet and landed on his chest.

"Why did you drink so much? You can't hold your liquor that well."

"Hahahaha right! You can't be Atsumu, that man hates me. He don't care a thing about me."

You said with your eyelids half close and slowly inhaling his scent and somehow it brings you comfort. Atsumu couldn't say a word as he search for your pockets, when he got your keys he inserted to your door and open it.

He tried waking you up so he could help you walk inside but you didn't budge. Atsumu ended up carrying you into his arms and when he step inside your home, he notice how you toss the MSBY jacket on the side. Several cans of beer lying on the floor, trash that weren't taken out. A total mess.

"Atsumu why.... why do you hate me?"

He look down at you and couldn't help but lean down and kiss you on the forehead

"I don't hate you. I like you."

¤¤

You woke up with a major headache and it got worse when you scan your home and see that it's very clean. You don't even remember how you got home, maybe one of your friends clean your home for you. You gotta thank them some time.

Today, you decided to go back to work since you can't keep on being like this. You hurriedly took a bath and just slip on anything comfortable. That's right, this heavy feeling will eventually pass. Right now, you gotta focus on getting yourself live! Before you can leave, you decided to just sneak and watch them in secret. Your heart and mind is still not ready to face them, or him.

"Nice kill!"

"High five!"

Smiling Atsumu. What a rare sight and sore for your eyes, he is smiling but not towards your way. You aren't the reason why his smiling..

"Hng!"

You slap both of your cheeks stopping yourself to think anything further, this is a small step you are taking in order for you to let go of your feelings to him. You resume watching them play in two vs two although you don't know the other people on the court. They all look like they are close, maybe highschool friends.

You grab your phone to look at the message that just pop and it's Shoyo texting that the team misses you and it'd be nice if you come so you will meet his seniors and other friends. During these days Shoyo and the others keeps on texting you, even Kiyoomi who you took as someone who really don't care of his surroundings.

'I will try.'

You hit send and as soon your message was delivered you heard someone scream from the court, you're glad they can't see you from this seat since you decided to take a seat on the second floor row seats.

"She's coming! Finally! She's comingg!"

"Eh? Who's coming?"

"Our manager!"

They gathered around Shoyo and saw your reply, all of them keeps on texting you but you only replied to Shoyo. Atsumu grip the ball that is on his hand, remembering he stayed in your hour for an hour after he was done cleaning. Since it was only the time he could admire your face from a closer look.

Your debating whether you should go down or not but seeing the expression of the team being excited of you coming back, you just have to thicken your face and hope your gaze won't meet Atsumu's. On your way down, you notice people coming so you took a turn to the right but you ended up bumping to someone.

"Ow... I'm sorry!"

"It's my fault, I was on my phone."

You look up and the both of you have same expression

"Sachiro?!"

"Ms. Birdie!"

You quickly smack him on the shoulders and he laugh loudly, you can't believe he still remembers that nickname he gave you.

"Can you please forget about that?! It's the most embarassing moment of my life!"

"Ehhh? But remembering your devastated face is quite fun."

Well, who wouldn't be devastated when the pet bird you just bought from a pet store flew away from the cage just because it wasn't lock securely and he just happen to be passing by and witness it all.

"Sachiro!"

"Okay okay! Pfft-"

You rolled your eyes but you soon join him to laughing and when you both calm down, you decided to ask why his here

"Oh my friend invited me. He plays for Adlers but today they all got the gym for themselves and all the team we all fought during highschool are here."

So that's why there's so many people! You also notice the twin of Atsumu standing on the side while talking to some people.

"What about you?" He ask

"Oh... I'm actually the manager of MSBY and I was just sneaking around since something happened and uh..."

You look away and Sachiro is quick to sense that something is going on but he decided not to pry further.

"That's nice! Are you leaving or going in there?"

"Oh uhm... I'm going."

Sachiro smiled and you both walk towards the entrance of the court and your heart began to pound very loud that you unconsciously grab on to his jacket, when the both of you immerge from the entrance. Instantly eyes are on you or maybe on your hands grabbing tightly on his jacket.

"Sachiro! Why are you with the manager of the jackals?"

"We're friends and we bump to each other."

Korai ask then his eyes darted on the hands of the woman trembling while grabbing a good hold of his friend's coat. Shoyo manage to let him in on what happened to the jackals lately and he turn his attention to the jackals setter and oh boy the ball is near to exploding.

"Are you that nervous?"

Sachiro turn slightly to lean down and whisper to your ears

"Huh?! I-I'm not! Hey everyone!"

Your hands let go of his coat and ran towards where your team is and Shoyo is the first one to jump at you and hug your frame tight until it led to a group hug. Then, Shoyo began to introduce you to the other people and you met his seniors and the other players. Some of them have drop playing voleyball upon graduating from highschool and some didn't.

"Heya~ you're the only who haven't tasted my new recipe."

"Osamu!"

The black haired man grin and handed you his newly made onigiri, you can say that you're close to him since the team sometimes eats on his restaurant here in Tokyo.

"Oh my! This is yummy!"

"Heh- then I'll add this to my menu. Oh, you got something in your face..."

You were about to get it but he beat you to it as he took it with a swipe using his thumb and your cheeks turn red seeing how he lick his thumb.

"Osa- What the fuck is your deal?"

Atsumu came infront of you and push his twin away from you and several people immediately hold Atsumu back and Osamu ignored his twin as he look at you

"You should just forget this stupid asshole and get it with me."

Before you can even say something Atsumu was already screaming his twin's name and was about to punch but Osamu is quick to dodge it as he ran away laughing.

"You. Come here."

Atsumu said as soon he return from chasing his brother, he tug on your hand and led you at the locker room. What even happened? You ask yourself. Why are you alone with him in this room? Should you say sorry for slapping him? But why would you? Wh-

"Everytime I land my gaze at you, you're with a man. What's with you pulling men from left to right?"

Your eyebrow raises and you immediately meet his eyes

"Are you telling me that I'm a slut?"

"What?! How did you- fuck!"

"Don't curse at me! I get it. You're mad because I slap you. Well, I'm sorry! But you're still an asshole!"

Atsumu groan as he pace back and forth trying to come up with the best words he can. Osamu, that idiot just had to add fuel to his jealousy. Why is he so jealous?! Why?!

"Why do I like you so much?!"

"What..."

Your breath hitches when he suddenly look at you and immediately his right in front of you. Your back press agaisnt the door with his right arm place right above your head

"What did you do to me? How come I like you so much that it irritated me so much not being the first one to give you something during valentines."

His minty breath fans your face as he reach for your hair and starts to play with it, being this close to you is making him go crazy, he can't even think straight.

"I like you so much that I hate how you smiled brightly towards Bokuto and how his the one who gets to bask on your warmth."

He place his right hand on your cheeks and you are looking straight on to his eyes, he leans down and you swear to God that your heart is about to burst out from your ribcage

"I like you so much that seeing other men touching you is making me go crazy.."

His lips hovers over yours and you were the one to close the gap. Maybe you are crazy. Maybe you like him so much too that you lost all the right to think straight.

"Shit"

Atsumu's arms immediately wrap around your waist and press your body more towards his. He lick your lower lip and you immediately let his tongue in, you moan out through the kiss and Atsumu almost punch the door.

"I need to breath.."

"More.."

He claim your lips again and you hold on to him for a support, his fingers running through your hair as he kisses you deep and full of love. He didn't even notice his tears streaming down to his cheeks. You immediately pulled away and cup his cheeks

"Why are you crying?!"

"I like- no, I love you. Please, I love you so much. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for being a dickhead to you. I'm sorry for being an asshole."

"Atsumu..."

He place one hand over yours as he kiss your palms then it trails down towards your wrist and he looks at you, with teary eyes

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me? Hm? I will do my best to change. Just... just let me love you."

Now, it's your turn to cry and you punch him on the chest as you sob uncontrollably. He let you punch him and when you stop he hug you tight, burying his face on the crook of your neck

"Idiot. You're an idiot! Why weren't you honest from the start?! Do you know how hard it is for me to endure with the thought of the person I like, hates me? You're an idiot!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry.. it's just... I didn't know any better. You... you were just so amazing. You were always there for us, supporting us. That I started to doubt that if I would be like that too. Be there for you, support you through your decisions. I... I got scared that if I let you know how I feel, you would distance yourself to me.."

So that's why you sometimes catches him glancing from you but you really didn't pay any attention to it.

"I'm just a manager. It is my duty to keep the teams spirit."

"You're more than that! During our darkest moment in court, you always manage to cheer us up. Your inspiring words are one of the reasons that keeps us winning our fights."

He grab a hold of your hand and kiss your knuckles as he looks at you

"You're my world... you are my light. I love you. Can I be your lover?"

You look at him with mix emotions and you ended up laughing with tears, guess you can call this a tears of joy now.

"Very cheesy isn't like you Tsumu."

His smile widen and engulf you to a tight hug. He pulled away and cup your cheeks as he capture your lips to kiss you tenderly. He press his forehead to yours and the both of you are smiling, he kiss your nose and you both giggled

"Let's go? The others must be worried."

You nodded and the both of you walk out of the room hand in hand and you notice how silent the court is

"Did they left?" You ask and squeeze his hand, seeing the lights on the court were turn off

"I think? Let me check my pho- Congratsulations!"

All the lights turn on at the same time and when your eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, you saw a banner stating

'Congrats on not being a coward anymore Atsumu!'

Your gaze drops on his arm that is wrap around your shoulders making you stand close to him

"Ah to be young..."

Meian wipe the single tear on his eyes, he saw you on the second floor and knew right away that this love chase has to end. So he ask Shoyo to text you convincing you to come, he knows you will. He also ask Korai to have his friend approach you. Lucky, he says since you and Sachiro had some connection. Then when he notice Atsumu glaring daggers towards your direction, he got Atsumu's twin on his plan and that's how it went.

"What the hell! You guys were evesdropping!!"

"Please forgive me hm?"

Osamu said mockingly and Atsumu started to chase him again and you just stand there laughing. Hearing you laugh is enough to make Atsumu feel things, he went back to you and kiss you infront of all the people and it did shut you up. He embrace you with one arm and look at the people, grinning from ear to ear.

"Atsumu Miya is officially taken."

¤¤¤

You were woken up when you felt something wrap around your waist, slowly your eyes flutter open and was greeted by a snoring Atsumu. A soft smile grace your lips, fingers lightly stroking his face. It has been five months now ever since you guys started dating. He also successfully persuaded you on moving to his house here in Tokyo. A lot has happened ever since you guys started dating, you are still their manager but Atsumu is thinking taking a break from voleyball. He reasons that he wants to start planning for your guys future.

"G'morning babe..."

"Mornin' Tsumu."

You kiss him on the lips and he smiled and pulls you even closer, today he got a day off and it means he doesn't have to participate to the practice. You were also given a day off so he suggested you guys go on a date today.

"Where do you want to go?" You ask, your fingers now playing on his hair

"Anywhere as long as I'm with you."

He replied and it made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You pinch him and he laugh at your reaction, he will never get tired of seeing your flustered face.

"Be seirous!"

"I am serious, as long as I'm with you anywhere is fine."

He moved and now his on top of you and you felt his fingers rubbing circles on your thighs, he leans down and lick the mark he made last night. You let out a whimper, his hand moving slowly to where he kept on touching you last night also.

"Again? We were on it till 3am..."

"Promise, We'll get up after."

He said but you know better than to trust his words but you just let him. You love it anyways.

The end.

#atsumu imagines #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu x reader #msby atsumu #miya atsumu #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x female reader #atsumu x you #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu time skip #haikyuu timeskip #haikyuu msby #msby black jackal #atsumu miya

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defensivelee · 22 days

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Dona Dona: You Could Have Been a Bird, You Could Have Been a Swallow

The third chapter is a story about a boy and his mother. Please enjoy. Here is the AO3 link :)

CW: gun violence, murder, abusive marriage, religious indoctrination, fantastic racism, religious war, implied/referenced terrorism, ableist language, child abuse, non-sexual nudity, implied/referenced child murder, implied/reference child sexual abuse, implied/referenced father/son incest, pedophilia, normalization and glorification of sexual assault.

He thought when he fell asleep that morning he would never wake up again. His father had stayed with him practically all night, and he was sore all over. It even hurt to breathe, though eventually his father had given him his inhaler. Even he had his limits, he said. William had no idea what that could possibly mean.

Much to his disappointment, he did wake up, shaken by his mother. He looked up at her with wide eyes, and then she held him close and began to cry. He didn’t know what to do about that; all he could think about was how she wished she had killed him as soon as he was born.

Is that what you still want? He wanted to push her away, but he found he couldn’t disagree with her.

“Oh, William,” she said once she had composed herself enough, though her voice was still shaky. She pushed his hair back; it had been clinging to his cheeks and shoulders with sweat. “I’m so sorry. You were never supposed to be here. But I’m going to fix it now, okay? We’re leaving today. As soon as he goes, we go too.”

“No,” he said matter-of-factly. That much he knew.

“No?” His mother looked at him with disbelief. “William, we are both going to die if we stay here. I have friends on the outside, we’ll be safe.” She sighed, looked away. “This has been a long time coming, and I thought I could wait, but I can’t. Not anymore, after seeing what he did to you. What he’s been doing to you.”

“I’m okay,” he said in a hushed voice.

“You are not!” She took him by his wrists, and at that William gasped, flinching back. “I decide what’s okay for you, and your father sleeping with you is not okay! Do you understand, William? We are leaving, and you will live a normal life. No more terrorism, no more religious mania, no more fear.”

No more fear sounded nice. But a normal life? He only stared at her as she stood and looked around the room.

“Take only what you think you need,” she spat at length. “But make it as little as possible. I want nothing around that will remind us of him. That monster.” She glanced down at him. “Did he give you that earring?”

William’s hand flew to his ear. He shook his head, swallowing nervously.

“Where did you find it?” She took his hand away and examined the earring. “I asked you when you first got it and you never told me. And you’ve worn it everyday since.”

What could he say? That a devil had given it to him? Would she see that as treason? Or maybe not, now that they were leaving. He had no idea.

“Give me that,” she said, starting to unclip it from his ear.

“N-No—!” He pulled away, but she caught him by the horn.

“Hold still, you’ll hurt yourself!” She took the earring and held it up to the light. “It’s like a devil’s horn.”

“Please, Mama!” He jumped up, trying to take it from her, and she glared down at him.

“Why do you want it so badly? If he gave it to you, I don’t want to see it on you!” She pushed him back, and he cried out as she fitted the earring around the tip of her horn and then turned her head abruptly to the side.

The earring snapped in three pieces, and she caught them in her hand, snorting with disgust as she looked at them. “There. So you won’t have to wear him on you at all times.”

He only stared at her in shock. He wanted to be angry, but mostly he was just stunned into silence. He was already trying to remember the summoning circle for Liselotte. He had seen it countless times.

His mother glanced out the window. “I think he’s gone now. Come on, William, we don’t have much time if someone else comes. Grab what you need and meet me downstairs.” She hurried out of the room, and William’s tail shook.

He was leaving? Leaving everything here? What about Hans, what about de Witt? He couldn’t leave them at the mercy of his father.

My books! He looked under the bed, pulling out all of the ones that de Witt had given him. He knew he couldn’t take them all, but maybe just one. His favorite one, the first book with illustrations of the world’s history. Every bit of it that he needed.

So he took that, his coat, Liselotte’s knife, and his inhaler. He glanced at himself in the bathroom mirror and realized he looked like a mess. But his mother was calling for him already, so he descended the stairs and met her at the door.

“We are going to meet a few friends,” she said. “Don’t freak out when you see them, okay, William? They’re on our side, trust me.” She rested her hand on his head, smiling at him with misty eyes. “I’m sorry for everything that has happened here. I’m sorry for bringing you into this world, for never being able to fight him off—” She paused, taking a shaky breath. “But you’re here now. And you can make the world your own kingdom without him.”

“I’m a Devil of Orange-Nassau,” he protested.

“No,” she said. “You’re just a normal boy. And we will not stay here so you can realize your delusional fantasies that everyone has fed you. Now let’s go.” She took his hand and led him outside. He was tempted to pull away, but part of him was curious, part of him was...hopeful. He shouldn’t have been.

They didn’t drive, they walked for a long time right into the heart of New Amsterdam. William was shaking; all the walking had not made his soreness any better. But he was also nervous, somehow certain that everyone they walked by knew what they were doing and would tell his father. And he would be furious, William was sure of it.

“I’m hungry,” he announced. He hadn’t even eaten breakfast.

“We’ll eat when we get there,” she said. “I’m hungry, too.”

“My legs hurt.”

“You think mine don’t?”

He clamped his mouth shut and glowered at the street ahead of them. There was a Hoerenkast on the corner, smaller than most but with tall spires and a tower with a bell in it. He wondered if it was functional; he’d never heard it before. Maybe he’d just never been close enough.

Much to his dismay, it was the Hoerenkast that was their destination, and he collapsed onto the first bench he found inside, flopping dramatically onto his back. His arm was stiff from having carried the book all the way here. At least it was dimmer and darker here. Quieter, too, where he didn’t get the urge to bite anyone who spoke a single word at all.

“Mary!” A booming voice he recognized called from behind him. “You made it! Come, we have a room upstairs, take the boy with you, too.”

William sat up, his eyes widening when he saw Charles Stewart. What was the leader of the Disciples doing here? Wasn’t he their enemy?

“Thank you, Charles,” his mother said. “William, come on. De Witt told me you had seen him before, but you’ve never properly met. I’m sure you know who he is.” She paused, lowering her voice. “But I promise he’s on our side. I’ve known him for a very long time.”

A long time? William blinked, bewildered. This whole time, his mother had been friends with their worst enemy! The things he had heard about how she had come to the Devils of Orange-Nassau, then— were they all true? Had she been a Disciple before?

“And Charles, this is William,” she said, motioning to her son. “My boy. He’s ten.”

“Ten years old, hm?” Charles raised an eyebrow. “I couldn’t tell from his height, yet somehow he looks older.” He held a hand out to William, who saw the blue tattoos hiding under his jacket sleeve and sprawling out towards the back of his hand. “Hello, William. I’ve heard much about you and how you’ll kill me eventually.”

“I will,” William said, shuffling back on the bench.

“Oh, don’t talk that way, boy!” Charles laughed. “You and I, we could be great friends. Hm? Uncle Charles, how does that sound?” He sat down by William. “We could be the greatest Overlifers this world has ever seen.”

“No,” William said resolutely. “I could never call you family. You’re a Disciple, and I’m a Devil, and anyway, there can’t be two Overlifers at the same time.”

“Guess for that you’ll have to kill me, then.”

“I will.”

“No, William, you will not,” his mother said. “He’s a friend now. He’s helping us. He’s why we got to leave in the first place. I trust him, and so you will too, and you will not lay a finger on each other.”

“Awfully intense for such a young boy,” Charles said, twisting his tail around to tap Mary on the shoulder as he stood. He somehow had more diamonds on it than when William had last seen him. “James was like that too. You had to practically untwist his tongue so he could get the words out, but once you got him to talk, he wouldn’t shut up.”

“And you’re saying my son’s the same way?” She narrowed her eyes.

“Just ask him what he likes.” Charles shrugged and turned around. “Speaking of, James is waiting for us. I told him I’d only be a minute, let’s go, let’s go!”

“Come on, William.” Mary took him by the hand as they went up the decorated stairs, the walls painted with praises in Infernal.

“You still hold his hand?” Charles looked back at William, who glared right back.

“Leave him alone, he just likes to run off sometimes,” his mother said. “Does it matter? Sometimes certain things are just more interesting than the bullshit his father was spouting at him.”

It wasn’t bullshit. It was our doctrines and traditions. How could his mother be so easily turned?

“Look what I’ve brought us, Jamie!” Charles swept aside a curtain, and William and his mother found themselves in what looked like a tiny replica of the Ally meeting rooms. There were far fewer offerings, though, and a bed instead of a throne. William recalled from de Witt’s many lessons that some Hoerenkasten had temporary rooms available for those who wanted to please the devils and Allies in a much closer manner. That made no sense to William, and de Witt’s explanation was useless.

It is not a place where you should ever go, William, not until you’re older, was all he said.

“You seriously brought a child here?” A man looked up from his spot on the bed, lying back on a few pillows and blowing smoke from his mouth to the ceiling. He had white horns with a black, random wiry pattern all over them, sprouting from his sandy curls that fell over his wide blue eyes. He lay under the heavy blanket, switching the channels on the TV, and his bare arms were covered in dark green tattoos with both praises and curses to the devils.

“What do you mean, I brought a child here?” Charles asked. He picked up a collared shirt from the ground and threw it at the stranger. “Put some fucking clothes on, Jamie, you knew they were coming.”

Is he not wearing clothes under there? William swallowed and squeezed his mother’s hand.

“I thought they’d die first, honestly.” But this man, Jamie, obeyed and lifted himself up so that William could see all the tattoos on his chest as well. He pulled the shirt over himself and began to button it up, staring at William as he did so. “This is who I came all the way here for? He looks scrawny.”

“James, if you would please stop smoking,” Mary said. “He has asthma.”

“I just lit this one,” James said, yawning. William caught a glimpse of gold on his teeth, and he shuddered. “Can’t you take him somewhere else?”

Charles walked over to him and snatched the cigarette from James’ fingers, taking a puff from it before putting it out on the ashtray by the bed. “Ignore him, William; this is just my brother, James. He thinks he’s hot shit and he might be, but I’m not allowed to opine on that so make your own judgment.”

William looked up at his mother, who rolled her eyes. “Why are you here?”

“Charles wants me to move back here,” James said. His long blue tail, decorated with rings and dangling jewels more than even that of his brother’s, swished irritatedly behind him. “Wants me to bring my daughter over, too. But I’ve never wanted to return, not after...everything that has happened.”

“Well, if you do decide to leave,” Charles said, “you can take Mary and William back with you. You live far enough away that her piece of shit husband won’t be able to find her. That is,” he added cautiously, “if you’re willing to help.”

“Sure,” James said, shrugging. “Just as long as they’re out of my sight after a year.”

Charles tilted his head to the side. “A year? James, do you really think-”

“It’s fine,” Mary interrupted. “A year is more than enough time. It’ll be...hard to adjust, but after that, I think I can manage.”

“It’s just as well,” James said, curling his lip back to sneer at William. “I have no desire to help raise a little monster who believes his destiny is to destroy us all. That’s how these Devils of Orange-Nassau play, that’s how all Westerners play. Accept your kindness just to return it with violence. Isn’t that right, boy?” He stood, and William narrowed his eyes up at him.

“James, that’s enough,” his mother said, swiping her tail at his nose. “He’s been through a lot.”

“Why doesn’t he say so? Doesn’t he speak?”

“He’s exhausted,” Mary said. “His father raped him last night and has been doing so for a while. And don’t get me started on the beatings. The horrific lies. William learned how to hold a gun before he learned how to speak. This has been his whole life so far.” She lifted her head, her eyes glinting. “So he can do whatever he likes now.”

William’s face flushed. Had it really been necessary to say all that? He didn’t know these men, and they didn’t need to know him.

“His father did what?!” Charles barked out. Beside him, James took a step back, his tail twitching at the tip as if he had just smelled something foul. “And you didn’t think to start with that? We should take him to a hospital!”

“I- I don’t think that’s necessary,” Mary said, clearing her throat.

“It’s okay,” William said. He lifted his head haughtily at Charles. “It’s nothing. I’ll be an Overlifer one day, so it’ll be worth it.”

Charles glanced down at him. He looked very much a different man than the person that William had seen at the Southern Kingdom celebration.

“You do look exhausted,” he said. “Lucky you, you won’t have to walk for much longer. We’ll be headed a little farther out, and you can sleep on the way there. How does that sound?”

“Aren’t we going to eat?”

“You haven’t eaten?” Charles raised his eyebrows at Mary. “Alright, we’ll go there first.”

After they had eaten (not very peacefully on William’s part; he kept glancing outside and half-expecting his father to walk through the door), William found himself in Charles’ car, leaning against his mother in the backseat. It was very warm back here, and it was making him drowsy.

“You want to sleep, William?” She stroked at her son’s horns. “Go ahead.”

“Where are we going?” He shut his eyes.

“Far away from here,” she said. “And we’ll never return. Just promise me one thing, as we leave this place.”

“What?”

“You will never get your six lives,” she said. “You will never be an Overlifer and carry out what the Devils of Orange-Nassau would have wanted for you. You will live a normal life forever and you will be safe.”

He wanted to protest. He opened his eyes but realized he was too tired to do so. He also realized James was staring at him through gleaming eyes, and Charles glanced over at him through the rearview mirror.

“You promise that right now,” James said in a low voice. “Don’t think about it. You belong to us now.”

“That isn’t how I would phrase it,” Mary said, “but yes, William, we’re with them now. And if you want to stay, you have to make this promise.”

He didn’t want to, but he remembered everything de Witt and his father had taught him. That to survive in this world, you had to deceive. It was something Mary herself had taught him, one of the first lessons he remembered— he had to keep his father happy, whatever it took.

And so to guarantee to himself that one day, he would be an Overlifer, he would rule the world, he made that promise, but inwardly whispered to Ferocity that it was a lie. He made his own promise to her that he would come for her descendants soon.

I’ll kill both of you, too. He closed his eyes again. He didn’t care what his mother said; didn’t she see that Charles and James were still enemies? They wanted to control her!

But he didn’t say that. He fell asleep and let them believe they had quelled the danger.

They ended up in a hotel; at least, that was what William observed when he woke up. He’d never stayed in many. Even on their rare visits to relatives in Grand Cabaret, his father had insisted on staying with the family.

“This is where Jamie’s been staying,” Charles said as he turned off the car. “Even though I told him he didn’t have to do that.”

“And stay with your whole mess of dwaallicht spirits, no, thank you,” James said. “When will you settle down? Those sultry little beasts are no match for a lifelong partner.”

“It’s not necessary yet, is it?” Charles said. “I still have much time. Six lives, you know!”

“I just think it’s best to get it over with,” James muttered under his breath. He turned back to William and his mother. “And you see why I stayed here instead.”

James’ room was larger than William’s room back at home, and had infinitely more places to hide. William counted them all in his head and then ran over to the balcony, hearing his mother’s exclamation behind him. But the words everyone was saying were all blurred to him now.

He leaned over the edge. Today the city was clearer than usual. He took a deep breath, which his lungs met ungratefully with a sharp cough.

“William,” he heard his mother breathe out beside him. “We’re far away from him now.”

William shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“We are,” she insisted. “We can live our own lives now.”

“You said I should have never been born.”

She inhaled sharply. “That...doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to live. I’m only sorry I couldn’t have left before it all happened, and for what he’s done to you, I—” She paused, taking William’s hand. “I never would have guessed. I knew there were other women, but you- you’re not-”

“It was better than everything else he did,” William said.

“William, look, I- I swore I was staring right back at myself when I saw you last night,” she said. “When I was younger. Not your age, but before this...before you. That’s how you were born and now to realize my son suffers the same—!” Her voice went higher at the end, and she began to cry like she had this morning.

William leaned on her. Maybe he could forgive her. He wasn’t entirely sure what was her fault, but he thought it could make her feel better.

But after everything she told him? After she’d broken the earring, after she had quite rudely ripped him away from his destiny and his friends, did she deserve forgiveness?

One day, maybe. When I rule the world and my father’s dead.

He wiped at his eyes, glaring down at the city and realizing he was crying too. Was he allowed to hope that things could get better? That his father would never lay hands on him again? Was the price of his authority worth it?

So many questions, I just want one answer. He looked up at the sky. He could just taste the beginnings of a tentative new destiny; it was hanging right there in front of him if he wanted to reach for it. Like de Witt had always spoken of it, there was no fear and no pain and no blood. He was tempted.

“What are you two doing out there?” James asked behind them. “It’s freezing.”

“R-Right.” Mary looked up, wiping her tears away. “Come on, William.”

William looked back at James as he walked in and wondered how his mother had ever come to befriend such a sour creature. He didn’t seem at all sympathetic to either of them. He wondered if it was true, if James was really going to take them along with him when he left. It seemed to him that living with James might be the same as living with his father, except more annoying.

But the good part was that his mother assured him that they would leave James after they figured everything out. “Besides,” she added later that night, “he’s not that bad once you get to know him.”

Well, William did get to know him. After his first day there (much of which he spent rereading de Witt’s book) came his first night. It was hard to fall asleep as he had been sleeping for a good part of the day, and he couldn’t close his eyes knowing that this time Liselotte wouldn’t open them. He wondered if the connection was severed or if she would show up to the dream anyway and just wait for him. Endlessly.

He got off the bed, taking care not to disturb his mother, and walked past the Disciple brothers’ room to search in his coat pocket for Liselotte’s knife. Though none of the city’s glow made it this far into the room, the knife on its own shone in his hands, especially from the red stripe over the blade.

He looked up and nearly screamed out loud when he saw the figure on the balcony, with the tall, twisting horns and the unblinking blue eyes. James was staring right at him, blowing smoke out from his lips into the night.

Why did he scare you? William tried to quiet his breathing, his hand clutching at his chest to calm his beating heart. He’s just an idiot smoking. He knew both James and Charles had been out for a while today, late into the night, but when he heard the door he’d assumed both of them had gone to bed.

James lifted a hand and beckoned for William to join him there. William hesitated; he wouldn’t put it past James to push him off the balcony. But it was a stupid way to kill someone as important as him, so he lifted his head up with as much dignity as he could and stepped out beside James.

“Can’t sleep?” James asked.

“I could if I wanted to.”

“Don’t be like that.” He flicked his tail over William’s horns. “I couldn’t sleep, either. Especially since I couldn’t smoke all day thanks to you. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

“I don’t care,” William said.

James raised an eyebrow. “You should try it.” He held his cigarette out to William’s mouth, and William stumbled back, holding his hand out defensively.

“D-Don’t burn me,” William said. And he hated himself for pleading.

James tilted his head to the side and looked back to the city. “I wasn’t going to.” He laughed suddenly. “Oh, your daddy had it out for you, didn’t he? Is that why you can’t sleep? Because he went into your room last night, or you went into his, or whatever he made you do.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” William mumbled.

“Of course you don’t,” James said. “But I don’t want us to be strangers, hm?” He lifted William’s chin up with his tail. “So here, I can tell you something about me, and you can tell me what your father did.”

“I- I don’t think-”

James hissed, suddenly bringing William closer and speaking right into his face. “Listen here, you little monster. I’m not fucking stupid. You were planning to murder me and Charles, weren’t you? I saw that flashy knife you were playing with.”

“I wasn’t going to kill anyone,” William said, pushing him away. Inwardly, though, he was pleased that James would think that of him.

That’s right, fear me! See me for the danger I am!

“I know what you were brought up to do,” James said. “You think just because you’re ten I’ll believe you? News flash, kid, I first killed someone when I was twelve. You don’t need all these years to know when someone deserves to die.”

Twelve? William could hardly remember anything from when he was younger. He knew there were the ever-present sensations of terror and blood, though, and he knew the plainly-worded facts like he knew the names of every Ally.

A seven-year-old boy killed someone three years ago.

Why did James get to wait for so long? He wanted to say that that wasn’t fair, but maybe that was why James was such an idiot. William had learned early on. At least his father had done that well.

“I know,” he said quietly.

“So unless you want me to take you back to your father, I suggest you be nice,” James said. “Go along with what I’m telling you and everything will be fine. I’ll go first, how about it?”

“Okay.” William looked away, coughing as James flicked his cigarette thoughtfully in between his fingers.

“I have a wife and daughter,” he began. “I live over in the Mercia Governorate, but I was born here. I can’t say I miss it. Bad things happened here.”

“Was it the invasive devils?” William asked. He still remembered what his father had told him, how the brothers had fled Berufungsachse because of a situation with those devils. One he called Cromwell.

James blinked. “Yes. How did you know?”

“My father told me,” William said. “How’d it happen? I thought they couldn’t do it anymore.”

“When you’re stupid as fuck they can,” James said. He flicked his tail dismissively. “Enough of that. Tell me what your father did. Did it hurt?”

William hesitated. “Yes.”

“Did he kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“Did you like it?”

William stepped back. What kind of question was that? Did he look like the kind of person to like it?

“Answer me, William,” James said. His eyes glittered. “You did, didn’t you?”

“No!” William cried. He paused. “Should I?” He had tried to last night— and look where it had ended up. Not an entirely bad thing, though, to be out here, but he wasn’t sure if he would have done it all over again even if he had known.

“Would you rather it hurt you instead?” James asked. “Might as well try to make the best of it. It’s what defeated enemies in the Four Kingdoms did.”

“I have more pride than them,” William said, his face flushing.

“They are pleased that the enemy who beat them still wishes to touch them at all,” James said. “It’s tradition. I know this is something very different, but maybe it would have helped you to think of yourself that way.”

What a stupid tradition, William wanted to say. It’s what they’d done for centuries, even among the Overlifers themselves— after any victory, the winner would take the loser to bed, and the loser was expected to like it. And judging by the stories William had read, they did. But he was better than that.

“That’s nothing to be proud of,” he said. “Letting the guy who beat you do all that to you?” He shuddered, the shiver running down to his tail. “It’s gross.”

“Think of it that way if you want, little prince,” James said. “But if you don’t like it, perhaps it was your father doing something wrong.”

“There’s no right way to do this.” William began to cough, and James shook his head as if that was the most disappointing thing he’d ever heard.

“You’ll find someone you like one day,” he said.

“I’m ten!” William glared up at him.

“And that’s exactly what makes you so special.” James rubbed his head in between his horns. “No one else knows as much about this as you do.”

Special? For some reason the word didn’t feel so great to William anymore.

“William—!” He heard his mother’s cry from within, and he jumped, rushing back inside. Anything to rid himself of James’ presence, he thought, but when he looked back he saw James had followed him.

What he found was his mother sitting up on her bed, breathing heavily as she stared down at her ringing phone. Charles was beside her, rubbing at his eyes and taking her hand.

“Calm down, Mary,” he said. “Just don’t answer.”

“But- but what if he- he’ll find us—!” She looked up at William and immediately brought him closer to herself, and William saw the name on the dim screen. It was his own name, but also not his own, because he didn’t have any phone.

William. His father.

“If he’s calling this late, he was probably out pretty late, too,” Charles said, narrowing his eyes. “Maybe cheating again?” He flicked his tail against her nose, but she only looked away and shook her head.

William tilted his head to the side. His father’s unfaithfulness had been the subject of a lot of his parents’ arguments, often the reason he was able to summon Liselotte in the first place. But he hadn’t heard that point brought up in what felt like a long time.

“He- he hasn’t in a while,” Mary said. She looked William up and down. “I think because he had you.”

Oh, great. William swallowed. “You’re welcome?” he tried.

“But he’s always been- I mean-” She took a shaky breath. “If he was doing it now, I wouldn’t be surprised.” She lifted the phone, her eyes widening. “Do you think he can- he can find us like this? He’s taken my phone before— what if-”

The phone stopped ringing for a moment, then it started up again.

“Give me that,” James said, snatching the phone from her hand. He answered the call and held the phone up to his ear. “Hey, freak, your son thinks you’re awful in bed. And I would agree.”

There was silence, and William froze. His father would absolutely kill him for that.

“Jamie...” Charles winced.

“Ah, Charles. James.” The high voice came from the speaker. “I should have known she went running back to you.”

“We’ve done more for her than you ever have,” James spat. “I hate you. I fucking hate you. You know you could have helped us when the invasive devils came.”

“That was never my responsibility. I owe you two nothing.”

“Are you aware that they would’ve come for you, too?” He lifted a hand to his horn, rubbing at it like Mary had often done to William to soothe him. “You had everything to gain and nothing to lose if you had just helped us. No, we had to run to the Southern Kingdom and- and do you know what happened there?!” He snarled the last words out, and William saw his eyes glistening. “You can’t be bothered to care about anyone but yourself! You piece of shit, you don’t deserve Mary.”

“James, please,” Mary said. “Calm down.”

“Mary,” her husband said. It was said as calmly as ever, but William recognized the anger behind it. “Where are you?”

“She’s not telling you,” Charles said firmly. “Fuck off, William.”

“Kidnapping my wife is grounds for a war, you know.”

“Then say the word and we’ll be guaranteed to fuck you up.”

“Very well. I’ll be there tomorrow.” With that, he hung up, leaving everyone’s tails lashing nervously.

“Damnit,” James grunted. He wiped at his nose, and William got a strange, dizzying sense of watching himself in someone else’s body. James was holding his head up as if his father had just punched him right in the nose, and sure enough, William saw the blood running from his nose to his lips in the light reflected from outside.

“Again?” Charles nudged him to his feet. “Go get yourself cleaned up.”

“I’m sorry,” James said.

“Aw, don’t worry about it.” Charles smiled. “It hasn’t been so long since, ah...” He glanced at William. “Everything, I suppose.”

James narrowed his eyes at William and left the room without another word.

“What’s everything?” William asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Charles said, patting William roughly in between the horns.

Ugh. William backed away.

Mary was silent. She kept staring at the phone, then picked it up, her finger hovering over the numbers. “I- maybe I should call him back...and tell him I’ll go back on my own...”

“What? No, Mary!” Charles took her hands. “You just left!”

“But I put you two in danger.” Mary blinked, and William saw tears running down her face. “If it’s all because of me I couldn’t forgive myself. Maybe if I go back willingly he won’t be so mad.”

“But you would put yourself and William in danger?” Charles twined his tail with hers. “All over again?”

Mary shook her head helplessly and shuffled back, covering her face. “No...I can’t do that again...”

“We’ve known each other since childhood,” Charles said. “And no matter what’s happened between us, this isn’t what I would want for you. You deserve to be free, Mary. And so does that boy.”

“I could just leave you with William,” Mary said, looking up. “I know it’s me he wants. I could handle everything he does to me as long as William is safe.”

“No—!” William burst into tears at that moment, burying himself in his mother’s arms. “No, no, no, I- I wanna stay with you!”

“Oh, William, I could never leave you,” he heard her whisper, and he gripped her tighter. If that monster was coming for them in the morning, then they had to stay together, whatever he did to them.

“I don’t know.” He heard Charles pacing behind them, his tail lashing and making a sound like a whip. “I don’t think he’ll be able to find us here, but as long as you’re in New Amsterdam...you’re not safe.”

“Then what do you suggest?” she asked.

“You leave with James immediately,” he said. “He can take you to Mercia.”

“In the middle of the night? By train or by car?”

“Car, obviously, what do you think we are, poor?” Charles laughed. “He did come here by train, though. I’ll just lend him mine— I know your husband loves attacking the rails, and I wouldn’t put it past him to order bombings on multiple lines if he thinks you’re there. Chances are, he would hit you eventually.”

“He wouldn’t kill me,” Mary said.

“Absolutely he fucking would,” Charles said at the same time William nodded fiercely.

“Where would that leave you?” Mary asked, squeezing William perhaps harder than she intended. He winced, hiding in her arms again and sniffling.

“I’ll handle any war he wants to fight,” Charles said. “I’ve been through worse, trust me. And he won’t care once he realizes that I don’t have you anymore. Right now, I can just call someone to come get me...” He yawned and stretched. “Jamie, you heard all that?”

“No.” James’ voice sounded muffled.

“Alright.” Charles smiled at Mary. “You get ready, I’ll explain to him what he needs to do.” He walked out after James, and Mary stood, beginning to pack what little she had brought. William wiped away his tears and watched her, his tail shaking.

We can’t go back there. He felt the sting of his father’s touch everywhere on him suddenly, like he’d just gone through another beating. Whatever that meant at this point. He shook himself out and stood to help his mother. He could fulfill his destiny without his father, he decided. Without the whole of the Devils of Orange-Nassau.

Does this mean I’m leaving Hans forever? De Witt? He thought there might still be a chance he could see them if he stayed here in New Amsterdam, but what were the chances they would find him in the Mercia Governorate?

He would find them again. He had to. And they had to be okay. He took a deep breath and tried to look as dignified as a prince had to look, even with his face still wet with tears.

I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

“Be safe,” Charles said as they got into his car, with him waiting outside of James’ window. “I think it’s about five hours from here. You might get there at dawn.”

“They can just sleep on the way there,” James muttered. He didn’t look too pleased to have to drive back this late. “They’re not the ones driving.”

“I’m sure there’s a few places you can stop if you get tired,” Charles said cheerily. “Alright, James, don’t die out there, please and thank you.”

“You don’t die here,” James said.

“I can afford to lose one.”

“No!” James cried out, turning his head to him frantically. “You have to survive. Don’t lose even one. I want to come back to you later.”

Charles paused, then laughed, leaning into the window to pat his brother on the shoulder. “Call me when you get there. I’ll wait for you whenever you decide to bring your family over.” He rubbed at one of James’ horns, then stepped back and cleared his throat. “Alright, I can’t keep you waiting. It was nice to see you and Mary again. And it was good to meet you, William.”

William looked away. He was still crying, albeit quieter now, and his mother was rubbing at his back.

He fell asleep about twenty minutes into the ride, as the bright lights around them started to dim and become fewer and farther apart. The silence in the car made him sleepy, calmed him down a little, and he thought perhaps he would be safe after all.

He woke up not so long after, when a bright light shone into the window and his eyes. He groaned a little, rubbing at them and sitting up when he realized the car was stopped. Had they arrived already?

“Oh, I’m sorry, William,” his mother said. “James just wanted to stop here for a bit.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m tired,” James said, yawning. “You know your brat snores like a devil lord?”

“Leave him alone,” Mary said. She looked out the windows and narrowed her eyes. “I know you did not just bring us where I think you did. William’s not allowed in there, you know how-”

“Don’t worry, the Disciples run the show here,” James reassured her. “Besides, he won’t see anything that he doesn’t want to see. They have extra rooms here, and we can all take power naps and then get out of here. I’ve got some business to do here, anyway. Meeting with some of the Devils, coincidentally.”

“Of Orange-Nassau?” Mary asked, her eyes widening when he nodded. “I- I think I’ll just stay in the car.”

“I’m not leaving the heat on,” James said. “Come in, just make sure no one sees you. I’ll walk in before you.”

“Fine.”

As they stepped inside, James lit a cigarette as if he had forgotten William was there. It was much too loud and bright here already, with lights like the ones in New Amsterdam at night, and so many people dressed in clothing somehow more revealing than that of the Allies, their tails bouncing along to the beat of the current song. William shut his eyes and hid behind his mother as he heard James speak to the men at the bar who greeted him with a strange, yet all too familiar respect.

“You will have to forgive the late payment...I’ve been running with Charles in Berufungsachse, but I’m here now...”

“Did you bring the kid for us, too?”

William realized with horror that one man was pointing at him, and he sprung back behind his mother, covering his ears. The voice had somehow sounded louder than the music. It hurt from his ears to his heart, and he could feel himself shaking against Mary, sickness rising in his throat. He knew what this place was now.

He didn’t open his eyes until the music and voices faded away to a muffled lull and he was sure his mother had led him away from the crowd. They were standing in an endlessly dark hall, the only light being from the street lamps outside.

“I think this one’s empty,” James said. He opened the door to the last room and motioned for them to go in. “I’ll come back for you when I’m done. Don’t get into any trouble.”

“You too,” Mary said. James bowed his head at this, and William thought he was hiding a smile.

His mother fell asleep soon enough and ordered him to do so as well, holding his hand that rested on the pillow by her. But he couldn’t bring himself to lie on this bed.

He pulled his hand away. He would be an Overlifer; no one ordered an Overlifer to go to sleep.

Instead he left the room and walked cautiously down the hall. He didn’t know the path they had taken to get here, with his eyes having been shut the entire time. But he knew there were rather sharp turns, so he took a left and then a right and another left. There were the stairs, where he knew for a fact his mother had to drag him up. But he hadn’t seen the animals painted on the wall.

There were heraldic deer and griffins with muzzles of rope and leather clamping their furious jaws shut. They lay on top of trios of saltires, and underneath those sat cheerful lions pulling on those very ropes. There was a haughty air to them that reminded William of James.

Lions of the Eastern Kingdom, he realized. Of course. In a place run by the Disciples, that was more than expected. He looked scornfully up to the griffin of the Western Kingdom; the poor, weak thing.

You’ll never muzzle me.

He didn’t want to go downstairs, that was where the music and the bad men were, so he went up the stairs again, farther and farther away from everyone. It was a little lighter here, but the lights flickered often, starting to give him a headache.

There were fewer rooms, too. Louder ones, with people speaking behind doors. He thought he heard James’ voice. And, he realized as he crept closer, a more familiar one.

“Just tell us where he is. You must know.”

“I left Charles in New Amsterdam. There’s no one here but me.”

That first voice was Mijnheer Bentinck. Hans’ father.

Oh, Ferocity. William began to step away, turning around cautiously just as he heard rapid footsteps start up on the stairs behind him. He didn’t know who it was, but he knew he couldn’t be found.

There were no rooms he could run in. To barge in and hide with James would only make things worse, with Bentinck there. He could only freeze in place, falling still as if his father had finally caught him.

It was Hans who entered the hall, yawning and wiping at his eyes. He looked up and gasped when he saw William.

“William? William, it’s you!” He ran to William, taking his hand and embracing him. “Your father said you’d been kidnapped! I was so worried, I-” He stepped back. “What are you doing here? Is this where your kidnappers brought you?”

“N-No.” William shook his head. “I mean, kind of. If you could just please be a little quieter—”

“I have to tell my father!” Hans declared. “Come on! Don’t worry, he’ll drive us back, and you’ll be safe back in Berufungsachse in no time.” He pulled William along with him, and William stumbled, following him for fear of having his arm ripped off.

“Hans, please— I don’t wanna go back!”

“You- you-” Hans paused, looking over at him and tilting his head to the side. “Huh? Really?”

“I mean, I don’t want Mama to go back,” William said, his face burning with shame. “She’s been through a lot. So I went with her, but I don’t- I don’t want to leave her alone.”

“But how will you become an Overlifer?” Hans asked.

“I can do it on my own!” William insisted. “I don’t need my father to teach me the right way to rule. I can figure it out myself. It’s what Overlifers have always done. Besides, I don’t-” He took a breath, holding back sudden tears. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

Hans slowly let go of him, blinking in surprise. “But I’d be more afraid if I didn’t have my father with me. If I didn’t have the Devils of Orange-Nassau. And especially for the heir— William, this is everything to you, and you’re leaving it behind?”

“I’ll never be more afraid than I was with him,” William said firmly. “I know that.”

Hans was silent for a moment. “There’s...nothing to fear,” he said at length.

Is he crazy? William narrowed his eyes, and just then the door behind them opened, Hans’ father glaring down at them and then back at James beside him. James himself looked very annoyed, but his eyes widened in disbelief when he saw William.

“I knew I heard him,” Bentinck growled. “Our Overlifer is very wise. I would advise you to think twice before attempting to fool him.” His gaze softened as he looked down at William. “Did the Disciples capture you? Where is your mother, little prince?”

“I- I’m just-” William began to back away.

“You still have my phone, Hans?” Bentinck looked down at his son. “Call de Witt and tell him we found the prince.”

“The fuck you are,” James said. He started towards Hans, who looked up in alarm, just as his father slammed into James, his elbow in particular stabbing into James’ chest, having as sure as an effect as if it had been a knife. The Disciple fell back on the ground, huffing for breath and shuffling back when he saw Bentinck take out his gun.

“Hans, get out of here.”

“But-”

“I’m telling you to go!” He cocked the gun down at James, who scurried towards William in a manner that much reminded him of the smallest dwaallicht spirit. But he couldn’t escape the first shot; his legs buckled under him as the sound rang out, and he fell forward with a sharp grunt.

“Mijnheer de Witt!” William heard Hans’ voice behind him. “Tell our master— we found William! Yes, he’s okay, but he’s with the Disciples— they could have hurt him—”

That was William’s cue to run. He didn’t know where exactly he would go, but he knew he had to get his mother. Some part of him didn’t want to leave James, the man who was somehow, in his own awful way, trying to protect them, but he didn’t think there was much they could do for him now. Besides, his mother could drive, couldn’t she?

“Mama!” he cried as he opened the door. “Mama— the Devils are here! Hanni and his father!”

“What- what is it, William?” She opened her eyes with a yawn. “Where’d you go?”

“The Devils, Mama, I’m telling you! Come on, we have to go, they shot James!” He ran to her and started pulling her off the bed, and she sat up abruptly, putting on her shoes and following him out the door.

“Where? Where is he?”

“It doesn’t matter! He-” He was cut off by another gunshot. “He’s probably already dead!”

“No!” Mary cried. “Charles needs him alive! And he’s the only one that can take us. I need him alive, too!” She ran ahead of him, past the alarmed faces poking out behind the doors. William backed away from them and followed her, trying to stifle his wheezes.

The two of them nearly collided with James on the staircase, running down with an awkward limp. “What are you doing here?” he asked, bewildered. “We have to go!”

“William said you were shot,” Mary said. “Was it your leg? Did it hit the- the artery?”

“Fuck, no,” James muttered. “I can feel it in there, but it’s not the first time I’ve been shot. Come on!” He pushed them forward, and William heard someone else running down the stairs behind them. There were lighter steps, quicker than the heavy ones.

James seemed to hear it too, because he stopped, holding his tail out on alert. “You go,” he told Mary. “I’ll hold them off. It’s just a brat and his father.”

“And if you’re shot again?” Mary asked. “I’m staying with you. At least give me the keys!”

“Ugh, fine.” James turned around to do so, but they were cut off by another gunshot beside them, the bullet just barely missing James’ horns. William winced, and James looked up, his eyes wide.

“I’m not letting you leave with the heir of the Devils of Orange-Nassau.” Hans’ father still had his gun pointed at James. Hans was hurriedly writing on slips of paper as he followed him. “We’ve been training him for years.”

“Abusing him, more like,” James hissed. “To fulfill his father’s fantasies. You would be sick if you knew what your Overlifer has done to him.” He snorted as he looked at Hans. “You think a boy’s messily written spells will help you?”

“You stole our prince!” Hans retorted. “And I’ve gotten very good at spells, I’ll have you know.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Doubtful.”

“Lady Mary,” Bentinck spoke up, bowing his head at William’s mother. “Did you go with them willingly? We all know of your...history with the Disciples of Restoration. While I’m ready to forgive you, I don’t know how easy it will be for your husband to do so.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “I’m not going back. And neither is William.”

“And why is that?”

“James may look like an idiot to you, but he’s right about one thing.” Mary narrowed her eyes. “That man is not an Overlifer you want to follow.”

“So you are traitors,” Bentinck said thoughtfully. “I do have to question what wisdom William had in choosing an Easterner for his wife.”

“Hold that thought,” James said, lurching forward with a lash of his tail, “because that means you’ll die a traitor, too.” Something unnatural glinted in the dim light, and William looked up, trying to make sense of what he’d just seen before he realized in a split second that Mijnheer Bentinck’s throat had been split open, and James held his tail high with blood dripping from its tufts of fur. No, not just the fur— out of one of the many gold rings he wore on his tail, there was a blade pointing towards the ceiling, and that was where the blood came from.

A hidden blade. William’s father had one on his tail, too, and he’d used it often. Nobody could ever pinpoint which ring it would come out from, though, which was why William had liked it.

Bentinck lifted a hand up to his throat, holding his other hand out to steady himself on the wall. But he didn’t stay up for too long and fell to his knees, and Hans looked wildly from James to William to his father. He knelt beside him and shook him, crying out, “No- no, stay up! We can’t let the Disciples win! Please, Papa!”

“Hans, you must—” Bentinck looked up, and William swallowed. When had his own father said his name with such love? When had he ever looked at him like this, like he was sorry for everything he’d been through?

“There’s so much, oh, Ferocity, it’s too much,” Hans whispered frantically, holding his hand up to his father’s throat. “Papa, please, breathe!”

But his father was not breathing, his father held his son’s hands in his own until he couldn’t anymore and slumped against Hans' body. Hans wrapped his arms around his neck, and that kept him up until the boy collapsed as well, sobbing into his father’s chest and blood dripping onto his hair as he did so.

He tried to stop us. William lifted his head high, trying not to let any emotion show on his face. It was necessary.

“Well.” James, however, sounded very pleased. “Now you’ve watched your father die. It isn’t fun, is it?”

Hans shook his head. “He’s not- he’s not dead,” he said shakily. “He’ll be up again soon, just you wait.” He pushed the body off of him, looking into his father’s eyes. “Look at me, say something—!”

“Hans,” William spoke up. “You can come with us.”

“What?” Hans looked back at him. “I- I’m not going to leave him until he’s okay.”

“You know he’s dead,” William said. “But that’s okay, ‘cause you can come with us now, and no one’s gonna stop you.”

“What are you talking about?” Hans’ eyes widened. “He’s not dead! He’s not dead, William, stop talking like he is! I’m staying with the Devils forever, just like you! I’m going to be your Ally, don’t you remember?” He stepped forward and took William’s hand. William shuddered at the feeling of the blood, but forced himself to meet Hans’ eyes.

“Yeah,” he said. “I know.”

“I don’t have a problem with taking this boy with us.” James shrugged, but in his gaze there was something William had seen from his father before, and he didn’t like it.

His mother must have seen it, too. “Of course you wouldn’t.”

James laughed dismissively, but William thought he noticed an uneasiness in the way he waved his tail. “I only mean to protect him. Of course, we could always return him to the Devils...or we could just kill him right here.” His smile faded, and he looked bored suddenly. “He’ll want vengeance when he grows up. Might as well kill the brat before he gets any ideas.”

“No!” Mary and William yelled in unison.

“Why not?” James rolled his eyes. “Didn’t I tell you Louis did it? It was smart.”

“Louis is a paranoid psychopath,” Mary said. “You are not. Don’t make me think that way of you.”

“I’m- I just- I want to get him help,” Hans said, pulling at his father’s arm. “Come on! Help me, William!” He wiped away his tears, his eyes narrowed in determination.

James snorted. “What do you think, William? Should I shoot this boy, too?”

“Argh, shut up!” Hans took the gun lying beside his father and pointed it at James. “I’ll kill you first!”

“Ooh, feisty,” James said, raising his hands. “Fine, then, I’ll let you live. We don’t have time for this shit, anyway. I’ll get some of my guys to clean this up later. Come on, Mary. William.” He waved his tail at them and continued down the stairs.

“I’m sorry, Hans,” Mary said. “You called de Witt, right? Go with him before the Disciples kill you.”

“I couldn’t go with you Easterners,” Hans hissed. He was crying again, and William felt sick, staring into his friend’s bloody, desperate features. “Just leave me alone.”

“Goodbye,” William said. He couldn’t think of anything else to say. “I love you.”

“Huh?” Hans looked up again, but William didn’t know how to elaborate, so he just followed his mother down the stairs.

“Alright, clear out, all of you!” James was saying to the Disciple guests and clients when he got there. “I suspect the Devils of Orange-Nassau will be here soon, and you don’t want to be in the crossfire when they demand to know where I am.”

“How’s your leg?” Mary asked.

“Same as it ever was.” James scowled. They walked towards the exit, and William glanced back worriedly in case Hans was following them. He still had that gun.

Mary opened the door for him. William looked up and in that moment saw someone standing there, blocking his way, and his heart stopped when he thought he recognized who it was. His mother’s shocked exclamation behind him only confirmed it.

“William?”

William stumbled back into her arms as his father came in, de Witt following close behind. He didn’t look very thrilled to see William there— if anything, he looked horrified.

“William,” he blurted. “Where are the Bentincks?”

“Um-”

“I killed one of them,” James announced proudly. “Next time, William, come here yourself if you must and quit sending your dogs after me.”

“Don’t make him mad!” Mary prodded him in the shoulder with her tail.

But her husband only turned his head towards James, his own tail eerily still behind him. “You have killed the boy?”

“I was going to,” James said. “Would you have cared?”

“No.”

The coldness in his reply infuriated William. He had sent Hans and his father to them, and if they had died for it— he couldn’t find it in himself to care? Hans was his friend! And with that knowledge, with the idea that he would never again return to living with this rat, he ran at his father with a furious scream, taking Liselotte’s knife out from his pocket.

He was aiming for the stomach, and though he felt blood splash on his face, he realized that wasn’t where he’d hit at all. His father had held out his hand, catching the blade in his fist. William glared up at him, shaking slightly as his father withdrew his hand, the wide, open wound dropping blood onto the ground.

“Formidable boy,” he said. “You must check that impulse. That was what my mother told me.”

“What?” William’s gaze softened.

“You think you could have killed me?” His father, for once, looked apologetic. “That was never for you. I only say this because she’s gone now, but my mother was right. Marrying an Easterner was the worst thing I ever did. And you were never supposed to be here.” He ran his bloody hand through William’s hair. “I was supposed to rule forever.”

Don’t you want me to rule? William shuddered as he felt the blood stain his cheek.

“Get away from him,” he heard his mother spit out behind him. “I’m done. We’re not going back. William, come here.”

“Yes, run off to her!” William’s eyes widened as his father raised his hand high, but before it could come down on his face, James shoved him away and bucked his head forward, much like a provoked bull. His horns drove through the Overlifer’s chest, and as James jerked his head violently to the side, William heard an ugly tearing sound.

His father fell to the ground, holding his hand shakily up to his chest. William had never seen anyone draw blood from him. He thought he was going to faint. Only seeing de Witt saved him; he saw the steady gaze fixed on him, no longer shocked but patient.

This is what he wants. The right word for that was traitor. He’d always known it.

James barked out a triumphant laugh, his pristine white horns now stained red, the blood running down to his hair and face. “You know, I can kill you now,” he said. “Do you know how delighted Charles would be with me?” He brought his heel down on William’s chest, eliciting a loud grunt from him, his body jolting at the impact.

“Don’t hurt him!” Mary frantically pulled James away.

“Why not? After everything he’s done to you?” James looked into her eyes. “And your child? Mary, you don’t- you can’t seriously feel anything for him at this point. “

She held her son close, and William shut his eyes. He couldn’t bear to stare at his father like this anymore.

“Please,” she said. “I just don’t want you to kill him. Let him go.”

“Mary, if you’re with us now you have to understand that we’ll forever be against the Devils of Orange-Nassau.” James’ voice sounded unsympathetic. “There’s no room for split loyalties. If I have a chance to kill one of our greatest enemies, why shouldn’t I?”

“De Witt,” William heard his father say. “Kill James now.”

William peeked behind his mother and saw de Witt with a hand on his gun. He was tempted to let it happen, but he met de Witt’s gaze and shook his head.

De Witt paused, then nodded once at William. “Sir, you’re wounded. The prince takes charge in your absence.”

“I am not absent.” William’s father began to stand, and Mary shoved William behind her, turning around to glare at her husband. “I am right here.” Every breath he took seemed an agony for him, and William was briefly disgusted before he realized he was pleased.

“I really must advise against this, sir, you may be at risk of losing a life,” de Witt said. “We’re at a serious disadvantage. If we don’t leave now, you could lose all of them.”

“No!” a fierce little voice insisted behind them. “You have me, sir.”

Hans. William’s tail dropped to the ground, and James and Mary stepped closer to him, James in particular lashing his tail nervously when he saw the boy with the bloody face and the gun.

“He killed my father.” Hans wiped at his eyes, but his voice betrayed that he was still crying. “I’m not letting this Disciple get away.”

“Hans, if you think you’re any match for Charles’ brother you are sorely mistaken,” de Witt said. “Look what he’s done to our leader.”

“No!” William’s father snapped. “He’s done nothing to me! I am very well, I-” He stumbled forward, and de Witt rushed to hold him up as he fell into fits of coughing. William raised his head higher.

“Hans,” de Witt said. “Come here.”

“I don’t follow orders from you,” Hans growled. He looked at William. “You, tell me to kill him. Please. There’s nothing more I want right now.”

“He will do no such thing,” James cut in, much to William’s relief. “You couldn’t kill me, boy. No one can. You see that the blood on my horns is that of your Overlifer. I have only one life, but I am more powerful than he could ever imagine. I killed your father.” He limped toward Hans, who shuffled back, holding his gun out cautiously. “I can kill you too. The rest of your family would come first, however, because you don’t get to die without seeing that.”

“You’re not doing that,” William’s mother said sternly. “He’s doomed enough as it is, working for the Devils of Orange-Nassau. The least you can do is let him keep the family I know he loves.”

“Mary, Mary,” her husband sang, still held up by de Witt. He was smiling, but William saw the urgency and panic in his fiercely twitching tail, and in the shudders running through him as he reached for his gun. “Don’t pretend like you still care for any of us anymore. You betrayed us and you betrayed me. You took my heir with you. Unforgivable.”

“I don’t want your forgiveness,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I- I just want you to leave us alone.”

“Leave you alone?” He laughed, as if in disbelief. “After everything I’ve given you, including that half-bred little brat, isn’t this a little unfair? I think so.” He lifted the gun and pointed it towards James, and William saw the apathy come back to him again and knew in an instant that James was going to die.

He didn’t cover his ears fast enough. The gunshot seemed to bounce around and rattle in his skull, and he scrunched his eyes shut, trying to make it stop. Through the ringing, he picked up Hans’ voice.

“Lady Mary!”

William opened his eyes and found his mother swaying beside him, a hand held out to shove James behind her. James looked stunned, and when William looked up he saw why. She removed the hand she held over her chest to reveal the bloody hole there and flexed her fingers curiously before her legs slid out under her and she fell rather ungracefully. James caught her, shaking her and saying something that was fading into the back of William’s mind.

Not now. Not now. He was losing his words again! But he had to say something.

He saw his father’s eyes widen in outrage and horror, he saw Hans drop his own gun and run to de Witt as if he’d been frightened. James was crying now, but William could tell he was trying to stop himself. Out of his frantic speech William could pick out names.

Mary...William...Mary...Mary...Mary...William.

When he walked over and fell to his knees beside his mother, she looked up from James’ arms, her gaze all on her son. She was saying something, wasn’t she? He had no idea. He shut his eyes and felt her hand run over his horn.

William, he heard her say through labored breaths. That was all he knew, and he wasn’t ever going to forgive himself for not hearing the rest.

When her hand fell still over him at last, he realized James was glaring at him. William cocked his head to the side, and James shoved him back against the ground and took the gun Hans had dropped. He turned as if he was about to point it at William, but then de Witt was shouting at him. His name was there again, and William thought maybe that meant he wanted him to go there. So he stood and ran over to de Witt.

James’ tail dropped behind him. He hesitated before he roared something out at them, his tears mixing with the blood that had fallen to his neck. De Witt turned and pushed William along with him, and the last thing he heard from James was his mother’s name.

Mama. He had to go back for her! He turned around and cried out, but de Witt caught him by wrapping an arm around his chest and holding him back. William kicked his legs out, desperately trying to push him off. He heard Hans’ name said from de Witt, and then that same man was holding him in his arms, whispering gently, slowly enough so William knew what it was.

“I’m so sorry, William. This isn’t the end. Your mother loved you very much. You have to keep going.”

“No,” he managed through his sobs. He hadn’t even realized he was crying. “I wanna go back.”

“Where?” “To her.”

“I know, William.” De Witt brought William’s head down to rest on his shoulder. “I know. I’ll be with you now, okay? I’m here.”

Normally seeing de Witt’s car would have made William’s heart jump with excitement, but now it only scared him. They were taking him away, taking him away from his mother.

His father hadn’t said a word. He lay in the backseat, and William saw him wince as he held a hand over his bleeding chest.

“I- I’m going to die,” he coughed out. “Too much blood, I’m drowning- in it.”

“No!” William leaped at him, trying to stifle his tears but failing. He buried his face in his father’s belly, realizing too late that this could be punished for insolence. But he didn’t care; he’d taken worse. At least if his father hit him, he’d know he was still alive.

But he only felt a hand smoothing down his hair, and he looked up slowly. His father was staring at him, and not in any way he understood.

“After this...it- it will be my last life,” he said. “Like I said, William...I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” William let out hurriedly before his father could go. “I’m sorry I left, Papa.” It was a stupid idea to think he could have been anything less than the Overlifer in the destiny his father had laid out for him. He was already almost there.

Just one more life and his father would be dead, and he would be alone. The realization shook him to the tip of his tail when before it would have brought him relief.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, his voice shaking.

“You should be sorry. You...should be sorry.” His father’s eyes looked up to the sky and didn’t move again.

William turned away. He knew, logically, his father would return, but he wondered if the devils had become displeased enough with him that they would end it right here.

“William, sit over here,” de Witt said. “Next to Hans. Please.”

William nodded absently and sat beside Hans, right behind de Witt. He could hear Hans sniffling, his body shaking violently. Maybe he was cold. William sure was, even in his coat.

“I’m...sorry about your father,” he tried to say with a steady voice.

Hans wiped at his nose with his arm, looking up. “My family’s gonna hate me. They didn’t even say goodbye. I didn’t say goodbye, William, I- I don’t know what I’m gonna do!”

“We’ll get him back, Hans,” de Witt said, glancing at the boys from the rearview mirror. “When James doesn’t want to kill us as much.”

“Not alive,” Hans mumbled miserably. “He should have killed me too. He wanted to.” He buried his head in his arms, and William scooted closer, his tail waving over Hans’ shoulder. He didn’t know what to say, but he wanted to stop crying. He wanted Hans to stop crying.

“We- we always knew this would happen,” he began. “People die for us and- and for their Overlifers. Awful things will happen to us...it’s only a price, Hans, of the power we’ll have.” It was what his father had always told him, it was what he’d always told himself. It always worked for him; he could only hope it worked for Hans.

But it didn’t look good when even this couldn’t make him feel better. The price was too high.

“I don’t want this power, I don’t wanna be an Ally, I don’t- I don’t wanna do any of this!” Hans let out, his voice breaking. “I don’t want any power if I can’t fix things with it.” His eyes widened. “Wait, can you do that, William? Can Overlifers- can they bring people back to life? They can come back all they want!”

“I- I don’t know,” William admitted. “I hope they can.”

“Please, William, tell your father to bring mine back!” Hans begged. “Please, I don’t know- I don’t want to go on like- not like this- I’m not-” He brought William closer and wept into his shoulder, and William stared out the window.

We never should have left. His mother had only gotten herself killed and brought Hans’ father down with her.

No, he couldn’t forgive her. Not for this, and not for dangling this new life in front of him and making him want it. She was a traitor and she had died like one.

He would not be a traitor as well and grieve for her now, he decided. Instead he shut his eyes and wrapped his arms around Hans.

#six lives won't make you happy #hmm. much to think about #this was a little rough to write but i do love how it came out #everyone say hello to charles and james!!

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