#yes i am once again manifesting s3 so what

[folatefangirl]

[inmyarmswrappedin]

So, because Fatou’s season ends today and, as far as we know, Druck hasn’t been renewed yet, I want to go over the things I feel the team did well in this season and the things I hope they take with them when they sit down to write the next season (which I’m manifesting will be Ava’s).

I think that s5 and, perhaps to a bigger extent, s6, were the team’s attempt to address fan feedback for and criticisms of s3 and s4. So I have hopes that, after possibly the most scrutinized season of any Skams, they are still willing to read even more feedback and sit down once again to craft a couple more seasons (possibly even 3 or 4 more seasons!).

So, without further ado, things that were done well! (Do I have to add “in my opinion”? Do I??)

I liked that for both s5 and s6, the thorough-line for the season wasn’t made obvious or shared in a press release, but rather it was up to fans to connect the story threads for themselves.

I loved that the team sought to address one of the biggest criticisms of s3, that is, that Matteo was given so many symptoms of a mental illness, but it ultimately went unaddressed in the narrative. They did this by giving Nora a dissociative disorder, and Fatou dyscalculia. (Matteo has been headcanoned as being mentally ill and having a disability.) It allowed the teams to develop both fan theories into full-blown seasons and give each of them the importance they deserved.

I have said this already, but I really appreciate that the team chose misunderstood, misrepresented and underrepresented mental illnesses and disabilities. I feel like s5 and s6 will be referents for many years, because they really took the time to portray a dissociative disorder and dyscalculia in a down-to-earth, unhurried way that isn’t meant to shock and awe, but simply allow us to understand why and when Nora and Fatou will struggle. Druck got the viewers to anticipate when Nora and Fatou would struggle, and that’s the first step in being able to anticipate and accommodate the needs of the Noras and Fatous of the world. I really can’t overstate how important this is and what a difference it makes in a real, tangible way. These seasons aren’t meant to be enjoyed for voyeuristic reasons, but they will legitimately help people.

One of the biggest criticisms of s4 was that Amira and Sam didn’t connect as women of color. In fact, it seemed like in s4 Sam was treated as another white friend, when in s2 both she and Amira were the victims of Kiki’s racism. The team addressed this by giving us Ava and Fatou’s friendship, which I want to say might be the first friendship between main characters of color where their race is a substantial reason for their bond. (There are the Sanas with their Jamillas, but the Jamillas aren’t main characters, and then there are friendships like Jo and Megan and Zoya, or Imaan and Liv, or Luca and Yasmina, but iirc in every case their bond as women of color isn’t made explicit.)

Another criticism of s4 was the way Kiki turned into the world’s most understanding white friend offscreen. The team addressed this with the Ava and Mailin storyline, which I think was wonderfully and subtly set up in s5, then built on with the biology test leaked answers.

On the topic of race, I think a major criticism of s3 was that David’s ethnicity wasn’t acknowledged (to the point where a white actress was cast to play his sister gvhvhv). The team has made up for this with Josh (more in the s6 sm than in s5, but I still count it) and with Kieu My. Fatou and Kieu My bonded over being first/second gen children of immigrants, and in doing so, they acknowledged that these characters aren’t white and have different experiences than white Germans.  

The first 6 episodes of this season were some of the finest writing in the Skams. The storylines all connected and built on each other. The motifs were just so good and beautiful and fitting. The themes were all clearly defined and easy to follow.

The tortoise plot was one of the most fun and imaginative storylines in any Skams, it connected Fatou and Ismail in a believable way. And not to rave about a fucking tortoise, but animals can be really uncooperative and that tortoise delivered every fucking clip. Druck has a reputation for being one of the most depressive versions of Skam, but the Maike/Burger plot was just plain fun.

I feel like some of the old gen’s instas were a bit self-indulgent. I’m thinking specifically of Matteo’s memes and how they they weren’t necessarily the kind of memes a gay dude born in 2001 would pick, but someone a decade older. I think this is much better done with new gen. Fatou’s memes reflect her age and her sexuality, and not just that, but Ava, Mailin, Kieu My, Josh, etc. all pick memes and even focus on different aspects of recent news, based on their gender, race, personalities, interests, etc.

I appreciate that the team found a way to fit a sex scene between Fatou and Kieu My to add to the small catalogue of wlw sex scenes on Skams (I’m including the scene in lovleg or we’d only have two lol). While I understood the reasons eskam opted not to include one, I thought there were ways to feature a sex scene that didn’t sexualize the actresses and didn’t require nudity. Cases in point: the lovleg scene, and this scene in Druck.

And it also needs to be said. This is the first original season with a main of color, and the third season overall (after Liv and Imane) where 10 episodes are given to a character of color and no one else. Of the three, it’s certainly the season that loved and respected its main the most. The bar is so low it’s in hell, but Druck did clear that bar!

With all that said, let’s talk about the things I would really want the team to address in following seasons:

The thing I most want them to fix might be small or unimportant for a lot of people, but I think it’s at the core of why the season has been unenjoyable or certain plot points haven’t come across the way the team wanted, for many people. I am talking about the overly expositional nature of the writing.  It appears as if the team approached the writing of the clips with the intention of hitting each beat as noted in their agreed upon outline, and absolutely nothing else was to be added. This is an issue both in s5 and s6. It’s just less noticeable in s5, because s5 is setting up stuff for Fatou’s season, and possibly even seasons that haven’t been written yet. The fact that absolutely every second counts makes for a stressful watching experience for me, because the narrative tension is always heightened. Whereas with Skam, the narrative tension would build throughout the clip. Take the Pride scene in Skam, for instance. The clip allows for Isak and Eskild to get increasingly more agitated as they butt heads. I feel like if this Druck team had done the Pride scene in s5 or s6, the clip would’ve started with both Isak and Eskild already on edge, and cut much of the dialogue that got them there.

On the topic of naturalistic dialogue, this season doesn’t have it. Here is an example from ep 10 clip 2, Wieder vereint/Reunited 11:37.

Fatou: I’ll get a certificate too and bring it over to you. And I checked it, I only have to change one course and my schedule will work.

Teacher: Miss Jallow, you are not the first one to come to me with an epiphany. We could fill entire school weeks with the lessons you missed. In addition, Doctor Steinberg told me about your, well… activities. You don’t have a lot of arguments on your side. 

Fatou: But I’ve spoken to all of the teachers and they said they are okay with it. 

Teacher: You seem to have friends among the teaching staff. Mrs Pavlovic put in a word for you. Okay then, do it and go before I change my mind. [translated by @kieu-tou! Thank you!] 

Like. This is the bare bones version of a dialogue. This should be the first draft, not the final version. The coordinator goes from absolute no to yes, with just one line from Fatou. The coordinator gives reasons that would necessitate more than one sentence of counterargument, like Fatou’s absences and the Biology test leaked answers. The coordinator even says Fatou doesn’t have a lot of arguments on her side, and yet it takes Fatou one line to change her mind!

And of course we viewers don’t want or need a lot of time with the coordinator. And particularly at this point in the season, no one would enjoy a naturalistic dialogue with the coordinator of all people.  But my point is that this is an issue with the dialogue all this season (and last season as well, but this season has been more scrutinized), the reason I picked this example is because of how easy it is to see here.

Which brings us to the pacing of the clips, and specifically the Friday clips. Because the script goes straight to the information the team wants to convey to the viewers, skipping the build up to it, many Friday clips have fallen flat, felt abrupt, and have been, tbh, unsatisfying. Again, I had this issue in s5, but as that season went on, I felt like the team had a better grip on Friday clips. But then they did it again in the first Friday clip this season, and so I think this is something the writers really should work on. The first Friday clip in Isak’s season closes on Isak being sandwiched by Emma and Even on a bench, visually setting up the love triangle, or more accurately, the personifications of who Isak should want to hook up with and who he really wants. But in order to get there, we’re shown a good amount of info, from the way Vilde, Eva and Sana are handling Noora’s absence, to Chris and Kasper, Even hovering around Isak, Emma trying to impress Isak, Isak escaping and, like, draping himself on the walls because he’s so over it all. Isak playing a game on the bathroom to stall for time. The paper towel maneuver to immediately give us a sense of what a weirdo Even is. A conversation between Isak and Even that gives us some clues about Even’s shame, as well as establish interests in common (like weed), and this is all before Emma even joins them! Just think of all the stuff we learn about who Isak, Even, Emma, Eva, Vilde or Sana are as people, before we get to the point of the clip! Fatou’s season simply didn’t have that. Compare it with the first Friday clip of Fatou’s season where the cashqueens quickly talk about the leaked answers, one of the major storylines this season that only gets a couple lines, before Fatou says she doesn’t want to talk about school (Fatou’s struggles with school, another major storyline), and then we’re onto the point of the clip, which is that Kieu My likes girls too. AND FADE TO BLACK. When people say they want longer clips, what they mean isn’t artificially inflate the clip length or add more plot stuff. Just let us watch the characters interact with each other so that we get a feel for how they relate to each other. I know I wish we’d have gotten more of Ava and Fatou interacting with each other before things turned to shit, and Ava with the other girls, so that I know why they all like and value Ava so much. I wish we’d have gotten more of Kieu My talking to the cashqueens about, like, why she didn’t make use of the biology test answers, instead of getting it on a chat. Or food combos they don’t like. So it makes more sense that later on Kieu My actually thinks she and Fatou are friends.  And every line doesn’t have to count. In Skam España, the characters are constantly talking and not everything they ever talked about ended up being relevant. When one of the characters lied about her house undergoing renovations to hide the fact that she was poor, the characters joked about Italian marble and put on bad Italian accents and made that Italian hand gesture. None of this was important to the plot because those renovations weren’t real to begin with, but they made viewers feel like these were real friends joking around, instead of characters needing to hit every storyline beat in a clip.

I have this joke with my friends about Druck always going 🤪🤪 in the last third of every season, in which a season that was very tightly written and cohesive suddenly pulls something inexplicable and pretty much impossible to resolve in 1-3 episodes. Hanna’s season suddenly switching to Mia, Björn creeping on Mia in episode 9! of a total 10, David getting outed in episode 8 and then disappearing for a whole week, Amira’s season pivoting to Mia and Hanna. It has happened in every season except Nora’s, so I thought the team had learned its lesson, but then the forgotten date with Ava happened. To be clear. It really makes no sense that Nora would have hung out with Ava several times since Tuesday, and the topic of the cashqueens being officially introduced to Kieu My wouldn’t have come up. it’s just not realistic.gif I feel like at that point the writing for the rest of the reason became super contrived to keep Fatou miserable and apart from Kieu My and Ava to artificially delay the reunions until episode 9 and 10. Why add a cheating insinuation and the main checking her partner’s messages in episode 8 if you know you won’t be able to properly resolve it? Why make Kieu My mock Fatou’s “uhm” if it’s not going to be addressed in their reunion clip? Kieu My had taken the initiative for a lot of the relationship, so it’s okay for Fatou to take the initiative when it comes to making up. You don’t have to add things that can only be resolved through an expositional info dump. (Please no more exposition than it’s necessary! I think we’ve established that at this point lol.) In the case of Fatou’s season, this is even sadder because I feel like Kieu My’s intimacy issues could’ve been the reason to drive them apart for two weeks, rather than the Maya/uhm stuff. This could’ve also been resolved through Fatou and Kieu My explicitly negotiating their boundaries and how they want to be comforted and how they want to comfort each other, which I thought was the issue with Fatou rejecting Kieu My’s attempts to help while wanting physical touch, while Kieu My didn’t want to be touched but rather seen.  

There are going to be many thinkpieces on why a myriad of stuff didn’t work for people, so I’m going to keep this simple and address one last thing. I think that choosing to focus on Nora’s mental illness and Fatou’s disability is a great choice that doesn’t complicate the themes too much, but Druck (and all the Skams, but I’m invested only in Druck succeeding at this point) still struggles with being intersectional. This is the major reason why the Ava/Mailin storyline ended not with a bang, but a whimper. There just wasn’t enough work done to connect Fatou’s struggles not just to her disability, but also to her race (and even her sexuality). I think that if people really want (and lbr, it’ll be mostly poc who will put in that effort and work), they can see how Fatou’s race affected the way other people and especially adults reacted to her, but this wasn’t made explicit. If Ava and Mailin are going to argue about racism all season, why not connect that with Karin firing Fatou from Aquarius? As it stands, Karin fired Fatou because of a disability neither of them knew Fatou has, and that was the resolution to that storyline. Why not make it explicit that the Physics teacher had preconceived ideas about Fatou because Fatou is black? Why wasn’t Fatou’s disability addressed in the meeting with the coordinator? Why didn’t Fatou express to Mailin that Fatou, too, had issues with how Mailin was acting wrt racism? It felt like, with the way the season was putting so much emphasis on racism, all these threads were going to be connected. In the end though, it almost felt as if only Ava is affected by racism (aside from Mailin mentioning Fatou in the last episode). It’s not like talking about how racism affects Fatou is going to make the topic redundant for Ava’s or Ismail’s season. As a light-skinned black lesbian with a disability, Fatou’s life is going to be impacted by racism in a different way than Ava’s will, as a dark-skinned black fat straight cis girl, or Ismail’s, as a Turkish-German possibly Muslim possibly non binary person. All these experiences are specific enough, and different enough, that they can be touched upon in different seasons without becoming redundant. The fact that Fatou’s season almost seemed to forget at times that she is a black lesbian, doesn’t bode well for Ava’s and Ismail’s season to acknowledge all their struggles.

The bottom line is that this season really was great and did a lot of good, and I feel like the writing just needs to be tweaked a bit for further seasons to be even better and more enjoyable overall. I am very pleasantly surprised by how the team took s1-s4 fan feedback to heart and worked to implement suggestions, and so I really trust them and hope they keep working on the show. It’d be a shame if Druck wasn’t renewed, with this team at the helm.    

[alyblacklist]

Do you think the keenler storyline is going anywhere? I used to be sure that it was, I mean why else would they have them kiss and have sex. However now that Liz has been gone for five episodes and she is being quite mean to Ressler (the whole pointing a gun to his head and pretty much telling Cooper about them sleeping together) I feel like a relationship between them will never happen and the writers are just trying to make us forget or dislike Keenler.

Ok, on to the asks about Ressler/Keenler in 8x09 where things were said, but only through contact lenses and earpieces. Thoughts below the jump, because it’s a long post that will (hopefully) address all of these at least in part.

I do think it was Liz speaking through the doppelganger at all relevant times. They haven’t given me a reason not to think that at this point. She knew things only Liz could know. So I assume (unless we get new info) that everything Mia Collins said to Ressler was actually Liz telling her what to say to him (and likewise to Aram and Cooper). I did express to BlacklistRoom on Twitter that they were evil for having faux-Liz call Ressler “Donald” on screen before real Liz does. And at first, I thought maybe that was some sort of signal to Ressler that things were amiss because real Liz wouldn’t do that, but in the end I think it was just the writers playing their usual games. NOT because they hate Keenler or Keenler fans (they’re the ones who made Keenler canon, for God’s sake), but just because they love to toy with fan emotion. They give you a Wing Yee birthday nugget one ep, they throw in a loose “Donald” in another from the lips of a faux-Liz. They know exactly the emotional points to hit if they’re paying attention to social media (and they certainly are, to a point). 

I did catch that accurate observation on Twitter that the doppelganger did not have her finger on the trigger while pointing the gun at Ressler’s head. I’d like to think the actress and crew are careful enough to catch such things as her finger was nowhere near that trigger (and she knew how to shoot that unnamed FBI agent during the chase) so I hope that was purposeful, perhaps as a small signal to the audience that Liz never really intended to hurt Ressler, even though he of course couldn’t see what was going on behind his head. A nod, at least, to the idea that Liz doesn’t really mean to hurt him.

Before I get too much deeper into my personal impressions of the scene, I want to specifically address the anon who wonders if she’s alone in finding it hard to root for Liz or Keenler in all this.

Of course you’re not.

Darker Liz isn’t for everyone. If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me Ressler deserves better than Liz over the past five years, I’d be able to buy you dinner (even at NYC prices). Never mind how many have abandoned the ship over that exact issue or related issues over the seasons. But I also think you know that I don’t share your viewpoint. Maybe that’s why you send me asks, or maybe you’re just using my inbox as an outlet to find those who agree with you. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter (although I admit if it’s the latter, publishing your thoughts on your OWN page rather than in my inbox might be preferable because as much as I enjoy asks to a point, I’m a little tired of ship hand-holding asks. I like what I like and trying to explain it or defend it gets a little tiring.)

All I can say is after five years of deep investment in this fandom and these characters, it takes a LOT more than an absent female lead and a bumpy episode to capsize my ship and send me into the pit of despair. For me, this is the expected price we pay for the ship being canon now versus only at the very end of the show. The Blacklist has never been about showing smooth, happy, relationships. Angst, drama, tension is the name of the game. You have to decide for yourself whether you can stomach that on a week to week basis and especially this season because they warned us – “good AND difficult” – difficult!  - for Keenler. I reconcile the conflict by the fact that Ressler still WANTS Liz and BELIEVES in Liz despite her flaws and if he does, then so do I. The man has some blinders when it comes to Liz, certainly, but not the sort that they love to mock him for on screen. He’s not thinking solely with his male parts brain, he’s thinking with his actual, in his head brain and he LOVES this woman despite her crazy and I love that about him. He’s smarter than most people give him credit for. And I am also of the view that real life and ships do not need to be equivalents. You can love two flawed fictional TV characters without being a person who wants to see those things manifest in real life. (I also ship Wanda and Vision for the record).

So I think we can all agree that this episode – and Liz’s absence generally – has been more “difficult” than good Keenler-wise. Ressler himself told us in those early episodes before her departure that it’s different if you see her, and it certainly is. We’ve been robbed of Liz’s thoughts and emotions entirely ever since she last graced our screen in Ep. 8x04. (And of Ressler’s reaction to said departure, for the most part). At the same time, I think Liz recognizes that too as she hasn’t to our knowledge directly engaged with Cooper, Aram OR Ressler since she left except through surrogates. Purposeful choices on the part of the diabolical writers.

As I said in my earlier ask response tonight, I remain of the view that Liz is in control of her actions and is doing her own risk/benefit assessment in how she responds to the situations she finds herself in. 

I do NOT think that means she has lost all emotion or feeling for Cooper, Aram OR Ressler, but as she explained to Townsend, “Reddington has an army on both sides of the law. I can’t do this alone. I need a partner.” She believes that the Task Force – all of them – are tied to Reddington in their own way, including Ressler, and she doesn’t expect them to violate those arrangements/principles for her. She’s moving outside the boundaries of those relationships to shed light on the secrets that she believes are being kept. Did she involve them this week?  Yes, but I think only because Townsend forced her hand on dealing with his sister. I doubt she would’ve sent her double to the Post Office otherwise. (I totally agree that the Post Office needs better security protocols btw – the idea that Liz can continually breach their defenses has become absolutely laughable at this point).

But, part of that is personal relationships.  She needed Ressler to give her the door codes and he did. Why? Not because he’s her patsy or her f--- boy or whatever derogatory term someone wants to slap on him (!), but because he loves her, flaws and all. The whole letting her go/letting him go thing has always had double meaning, back to S2. 

Cyranoid Liz: You should let me go. Ressler: Those days are over. Cyranoid Liz: Why? Nothing’s changed.

Has nothing changed? He let her go in S2 and then she shot Tom Connolly and he beat himself up over it. Then, the “I can’t let her go” (Ressler pointing the gun in S3 outside the Russian embassy), followed by that car chase and then Red in the next episode, Eli Matchett:

Red: Ressler is a law-enforcement robot. The FBI winds him up– Liz: That’s not true. He’s a person. He’s a good person. Red: Look at me. You need to let that go, Lizzy. I have survived for a very long time now, and I assure you, I didn’t do it by relying on the goodness in people.

I’d submit it has and it hasn’t. All these seasons later, she is once again having a hard time letting him go and so is he (with respect to her).

Ressler: Why’d you call? Liz: I don’t know. I guess– because every time we say goodbye, I’m afraid we might actually mean it.

Both with eyes open wider this time and yet, still wanting the peaceful night, free of all the distractions. 

Yes, he let Liz’s double go physically without much protest. Emotionally? He hasn’t let go of Liz. Not one bit. And Liz saw that, through her cyranoid. He’s still on her side. He still wants to believe in her, no matter what she’s putting him through (and poor Ressler, he’s really enduring a lot – though I hope the tide will turn on that at some point).  He had no reason to open that door, and yet – he did. He doesn’t want that one night to be just ONE night and deep down, I don’t think she does either.

“I won’t give up on you.” 

He hasn’t, yet. “But I still need to do my job, Keen.” She better not push him too far because the day he does is the day I worry. He’s desperate not to repeat the mistakes of the past, he’s desperate to trust her this time. Not because he’s thinking with his small man-part-brain, but with his HEART. He loves her. He’ll do anything he can for her within the limits of his conscience. They are each others’ second chance.

I don’t view Keenler or Ressler’s feelings for Liz or Liz’s manipulations of Ressler as fatal to the ship because I accept that this whole thing – Liz’s mission – is the battle for her soul  that the writers have teased for years . Which side will win? Hopefully the right one. The hopeful one. The one that makes second chances happen.

Cheers.

[sanoiro]

Lucifer Meta: Wings & Identity

 ~First of all long time no see. Yes, I was busy with work and uni this past year and also I didn't have the time nor the patience to be on two social media platforms at the same time. I apologise for that! 

In this post, I’ll try to meta Lucifer and his wings on a different level which you will understand once you have read this post. The inspiration came when last night I re-watched 4x07 and the ending was short of a revelation for me in regards to Lucifer, how he perceived himself but also what he wanted to be. 

In 4x07 as you remember Lucifer discovers that his once fluffy white wings now are monstrous, leathery bat wings and cannot comprehend why is that. He says 

Lucifer: You have to help me, doctor. I don't want to be a monster. Linda: What's wrong? Lucifer: It's my wings. I hadn't checked them since my devil face returned. I was afraid they might have gone. I was afraid what that might mean. What that might say about me.

^If you had not noticed you can see that Ellis portrayed Lucifer crying in that scene. You can see the tear dropping from the tip of his nose. 

Now as you remember in S3 we had a Lucifer who abhorred his wings but there was a mistake in comprehending what exactly he fought so hard against. It was not his wings it was the fact Lucifer felt he was manipulated and forced to be something. Up to that point, angelhood and devilhood had to do on which side of Dad’s grace an Angel was but that was disproven by the end of that season, therefore, the wings in S3 were something that held no physical hatred but an emotional one. 

At 3x11, Lucifer comes to the self-realisation, which might be a wrong one, that in this city of Angels, he is not one anymore. He says to Amenadiel that he waited to be forgiven in Hell by Dad but now Lucifer decides to abandon that, I would say abandon that hope. In the end of 3x11, he has Maze cut his wings and at that moment he physically severies a bond while turning the manifesting an emotional pain, that of Dad’s rejection with a physical pain, that of self-harming himself to disassociate with Him. 

In a sense cutting his wings in 3x11 like in the beginning of S3 is a bit like Lucifer trying to remove a common familial feature that associated him with his Father but when Amenadiel rejected him he abandoned all hope. It’s like cutting a mole or I would go further and say taking our your eyes because you inherited your father’s colouring and you simply cannot stand to see that every day. 

So cutting the wings was painful but also a tantrum while Lucifer lost a foundation and started spiralling until Chloe came it his life. No, she didn’t make everything better but she gave him a path and that was a healing process.  It’s also remarkable how Lucifer for five years he kept his wings safe in a container, and in 1x07 he tells his brother that: 

Lucifer: To fool me into desiring the wings and the hellish throne they accompany. Well, do you know what? It almost bloody worked. A rip cord back to the life that dear old Dad chose for me. But I don't need it now, because, in case I haven't made myself abundantly clear, I'm never going back to Hell.

In the lines, Lucifer delivered above in S1 we often go back to how they were used for Hell’s depiction in S4 or how Lucifer didn’t want to go back but the one part we always leave out of our metas is the line: “fool me into desiring the wings”.

Why would Lucifer ever desire the wings? It was clear in S3 he hated them but again as I have explained before it was not the actual wings. He didn’t desire the wings per se and that ties with 3x11. In 3x11 Lucifer forces himself to stop considering himself as an Angel although he desperately wants to. Yet not in the sense, you may believe. 

In 3x11, 1x07 and 4x07 we can see that the wings are a physical and emotional part of Lucifer that yet they also hold a connection to what he once was, an angel. In 4x06, Ella says that what they expect us to believe that the Devil went from an Angel to the epitome of Evil? At that point, Chloe correctly says that Ella is right, Lucifer is also an angel. Not was, is. 

At this point let’s clear some confusion about the Angel part. When we are talking about Lucifer being an Angel it does not mean that he should be virtuous or replace the piano with a harp at LUX. It does not mean that Lucifer is subjected to a certain behaviour and nature due to his state of being, aka being an Angel because in all honesty he always was an Angel that never, ever changed. 

Lucifer’s case is a bit like a person doing inhuman acts. Yet they stay human, they were born human and will die as a human. Acts good or bad do not move people up and down a scale of what a human is, because you cannot stop being a human but you can choose what kind of human you wish to become. A person who wants to protest against a policy is not a bad human or a bad citizen but has an opinion which he or she wishes to express and seeks the freedom to do so. 

Now getting back to sociology and criminology, studies were focused on why poor or second-generation migrants are more likely to commit a crime and the answer after the 1980′s, the most popular one was social exclusion. Of course, you cannot pinpoint a whole field of study on just that but for this meta we will just have to in order to proceed. 

Lucifer was thrown away from his home, he felt betrayed by his Father and Mother. He was socially excluded by his siblings in Heaven and Hell and so what was marched and presented as a freedom march ended up being criminalised to the point where when Lucifer looked back to himself he could only see that distorted image yet the wings remained white, fluffy, untouched by the grimness of what he believed he had become. A monster. 

In S2 we see that Amenadiel lost his wings because he didn’t believe he was an Angel anymore. His actions that filled him guilt and doubt over his very nature didn’t make him a Devil but human. He lost his wings but at 3x17 he has accepted his mortality and regains his wings only when Charlotte dies and thus elevates himself on the fact that everyone is redeemable and is what you make of yourself not what Dad believes you deserve. 

If that’s the case why Lucifer never lost his wings if he believed he was just a Devil? Again because he always saw himself as an Angel until s4 that is. 

In 4x01 there is finally another key moment, another key line: 

Lucifer: I've had literal aeons to come to terms with what you saw. My- My monstrous side. [SHUDDERS.] But it's not all that I am. At least I hope not. [SIGHS.] Either way, it's unfair of me to expect you to just accept it. I'm honestly not sure when I'll be able to. If ever. 

This brings us back and forth in seasons and episodes. First that his Devil face is not a welcome feature but something he hides behind as we saw in a metaphor the writer room gave us in 4x09. It’s a mask that does not hide but projects his fears, his guilt and his despair towards mainly to himself...

Lucifer has not accepted what his physical Devil manifestation is and that’s clear in 4x01 as when he says, come in terms with it does not mean that he has accepted it but was dejected to it as we saw in 3x11. 

Second, he insists it’s not all that he is. As we saw in his speech in 4x07 he does not consider himself a monster but it’s like a slide that takes him in places he cannot control and which we see more clearly in 4x09 but also in 4x10. At the end of 4x10, it’s not his rage that turns him into his Devil form if you like but his guilt in my opinion. People have died, demons roam the earth, his nephew was taken because of him and Chloe is attacked so he lashes out and like a child, he projects the impossible. He puffs out and makes himself loos threatening while he is scared and lost again. 

Third, I would like to explore more the ‘when’ part. It shows that after billions of years Lucifer still considers himself an angel despite the monstrous side that takes over here and there. In his speech in 4x08 we have an example of what that feels like: 

Lucifer: There is something rotten inside of me. I find it near impossible to drown out the constant cacophony of voices whispering in my ear, telling me I am evil. I'm drowning, doctor! And I can't stop asking myself why do I hate myself so much? 

The rotten and drowning part Lucifer expresses presents us with a visual where whatever bothers him, he feels it spreading, taking over contaminating him. Yet contaminating what? The angel he is? If an angel is a partly rotten will that spread and if it has is he still considered an angel or is it something entirely new? Something that needs and has been thrown away before it affects the rest? 

With all that, we see that Lucifer has not accepted being the Devil as many perceive him to be and that in reality, the Devil, in this case, is not due to him being evil or making bad decisions and acts but because he is simply different. Obviously, I’m talking about the series. 

The Devil in this series is just an Angel with a different opinion which was twisted. Perhaps that different opinion was expressed in a wrong way aka the Rebellion but that cannot birth evil as we know it. Furthermore, there is no scale to null good acts with bad acts and keep an equilibrium so all that, have him in a state of total confusion because what he believes he is deep down aka an angel does not correspond to what he does some times nor what an angel should be which brings him in a constant self-rejection as what he is cannot be comprehended and by many is not a state of existence. 

Like in the case of Amenadiel or Remiel it was easier to believe that Lucifer’s nature had been corrupted entirely leaving nothing back to what he once was rather than recognise that people as Chloe said, constantly changing so there is no real medium to be reached aside from what is right and wrong and what you can do for that.  

Finally, the cacophony of voices is not just in his head is every individual who has enforced their opinion on what Lucifer is now. To make it clearer just think of Amenadiel in 3x11. 

Lucifer: Yes, of course, it'll work, Brother. That's why you asked me, remember? Someone crafty, smart-  Amenadiel: And evil. [LAUGHS.] Lucifer: Evil? Amenadiel: Well, if you want to find a deplorable criminal, you just ask a well, you know what I mean, Luci. Come on. You are the Devil, after all

So what can we take from all of the above? That Lucifer is an angel, he wishes to be an angel just a different kind of one. He is confused between his duty and his punishment on what he should be and what he is and yet all comes down to one very simple thing. Lucifer is an angel and he wishes to be one but not under the terms that have been subjected to all his siblings and that unique blend of what he is was drawn out by Chloe. She was in a way the balancing ingredient for some reason which I very much hope to see it be explained in S5... 

Perhaps just perhaps that was why he was also so hurt when she couldn’t accept his devil face as it would have been an affirmation that he still holds something angelic in him, worthy of her at that point. 

Yes, Lucifer makes her step down from the pedestal he put her on in 4x08 but at that scene, he saw her perhaps as a divine touched person who could soothe him and say that despite his appearance and the past mistakes that face betrayed, he could still reconnect with the divine. When she doubted that we can see one very important concept Lucifer still has. A faulty one but still...

Like with Amenadiel and many of his siblings, there are no grey areas, no maybes. There is either white or black so no matter how much Lucifer wants to hold on, to the idea that he is an angel, always was, always will be despite what he has done he has not transformed to a monster, dissociated from his family and nature despite of his choices to not follow the family business, he fails to see that grey area. There are maybes. Feelings and truths still prevail within any mess and you can find a middle without tearing yourself apart as Linda very well noted in 4x06. 

So that’s it I guess... 

[laufire]

Black Sails s3

This one took me longer because RL got in the way LOL. I’ve loved it as much as the other two (even if I am IN PAIN over you-know-who’s death DD:). I don’t know when I’ll have the time to finish the last season, but I wanted to post about this one before starting it; otherwise it’d accumulate with the 10+ and counting metas I want to write about this show once I have the full picture LMAO.

Max

As always, I have to start with her because she’s THE FUCKING BEST. This woman is currently competing for the number one spot among fictional characters in my heart LOL (I mean. I have loved Caroline Forbes --who I actually think Max has a lot in common with lmao. Everything I love is the same, as I always say-- for too many years for her to ever be truly dethroned; unless something goes really wrong with Legacies I guess. However, it’s still remarkable that a character could make me doubt).

I’ve absolutely adored her plot this season; watching her growing sphere of influence, the way she affects and upends others’ lives. That’s very much being present since season one, especially with her and Silver in tandem (I have a lot of Thoughts(TM) about those too as a driving/disruptive force in the show --they’ll go to one of those metas--; I’m put off by the fact that I didn’t get to enjoy them conspiring together this season lol. Though her reaction to the fake Long John Silver letter was kind of hilarious xDD. Still. I kind of wish we’d seen the scene where Silver tells her he renounces to his part of the price. It could’ve been very interesting --I guess he could’ve told Jack but that wouldn’t’ve been as good, so this is my headcanon).

The most obvious storyline where this manifest is in her relationship with Anne and Jack. I love everything about it, but well. I have to admit, the ~betrayal/different sides element appeals to me xD. I like that Max prioritices herself and her safety. That she sees the writing on the wall with the English invasion or with Vane’s execution and acts accordingly, the way she calculates her decisions and forms alliances without letting past grievances get in the way --with Eleanor, Rogers, Mrs. Mapleton...--, the choices she makes because she doesn’t want to be “on the outside looking in” ever again and how they always end reverting in her benefit, ultimately (I’m getting ahead because I am spoiled of quite a few things about s4, but I LOVE that eventually she mends her relationship with Anne and Jack. Because it fits into this: how even the possible mistakes and emotional compromises she makes are within a very specific frame that works out for her in the end).

Her relationship with Anne gets even better this season. I think my favourite scene is where Max tells Anne that she nows Anne “cannot fathom leaving me”. Can I get this woman’s confidence LMFAO. But seriously. I luff them. I love how Max convinces Jack of going along her plan to replace the gold with good easier to transport (and how THAT ends up being Flint’s treasure asdñlfkasfj. MY GIRL DIRECTLY CAUSED THE EVENTS IN TREASURE ISLAND OKAY) by appealing to their mutual love for Anne. That she trusts Anne with the story about her father. That she knows just as well as Jack that Anne wouldn’t give up the treasure so easily and she’ll try to save him (and that Anne won’t stomach the thought of Jack being tortured because she couldn’t bear MAX’S torture. My heart).

Another highlight of the season for me was her relationship with Eleanor, which keeps being a huge surprise no matter what xDD (even if, again, never in a shippy way. I’m very glad the season doesn’t go there). I love the reversal of expectation in a general fandom landscape: how ultimately, Eleanor doesn’t have an emotional hold over Max (and that she lost it as early as 1x02, IMO. I’m not saying “Max doesn’t feel anything about Eleanor”, but the truth of the matter is, narratively Eleanor serves Max, not the other way around. And I’m happy and relieved about it, ngl), and that the same isn’t true the other way around. I thought two very telling scenes where a.) Max hosting parody trials of Eleanor that paint her under a completely undignified light, but clearly deriving no pleasure from it: it simply was yet another thing she does for practically, level-headed political reasons; and b.) that Eleanor orders Rogers’ men not to hurt Anne in the exchange because Max’s love for Anne.

Continuing down with Max’s relationships, I’ve grown to really like hers with Idelle. I think Max find Idelle fun, likeable, uncomplicated (the scene where Featherstone tells Idelle he hopes his pardon doesn’t diminish her attraction to her was hilarious and clearly the moment Max was enjoying herself the most in the whole season lmfao. BTW, I kinda liked Idelle/Featherstone since the moment he told Jack he wasn’t concerned because “he was in love with a good woman” and Jack was like “Idelle??”. Yes, it’s fun because client-falling-for-sex-worker is a pitiful cliché, but here’s the thing: he’s right xD. He didn’t say “I’m in love with a woman who loves me”. He said he was in love with someone GOOD and Idelle IS a good woman, dammit xDD).

Max doesn’t concern herself much with the idea of Idelle going behind her back because Idelle loves her, respects her, and is a loyal friend (and yet clearly sees Max exactly as she is and doesn’t have any delusions about it. Luckily for her Max is probably the type to feel angry but not vengeful about this lol, if only because it could reflect on her). And Max is right about that. But I love that Idelle still has it in her to take a different path by allying herself with the pirates. I’m curious about the reasoning being after Max makes Mrs. Mapleton madam again; it’s clear the girls aren’t happy about her and she didn’t seem like she took good care of them in s1, to put it mildly, so there’s some of that, but I like to think part of it was Idelle going, “seriously Max? I’m right here! I could be the Madam!” xDD.

Her dynamic with Mrs. Mapleton was really interesting too; I like how she too puts aside any old grudge and decides to put her bets with Max over Eleanor or Rogers, because she has confidence that Max and her methods (“I choose to let the players reveal themselves to me, least I make an enemy out of someone I might wish to call a friend one day”) will outlast them (btw, that line/her approach in general --as well as Silver’s “liked is a good as feared” MO--, kind of reminded me to Sansa Stark’s “If I am ever queen, I will make them love me.” line. Food for thought). Yet I think Mrs. Mapleton instructed Georgia to  attempt to ~seduce Max to get information out of her, which is very much in line with her. I loled at Max’s reaction basically being “gurl, who do you think you’re talking to. I practically invented this. GTFO” xDD

Basically, her entire storyline this season was pure gold. I love how all of those dynamics come from her maneuvers to keep herself safe, in power, and with influence (because those go hand in hand). I love her pride and her confidence, the way she refuses the scraps Eleanor and Rogers intend to give her at first (and how she firmly says to Eleanor “people do not speak to me that way anymore”, how she establishes a new normal between them), and how she pays her way out of trouble/into power with the gold she stole from Flint & co xDD.

My favourite moment of hers is devided between “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”, and “I AM Nassau” (that made me decide that if I ever write fic where Max needs a last name for any reason, it’s going to be Nassau. It is law), and how meta they’ll turn out to be :DD. I also have Thoughts about the evolution of her styles (beyond the obvious “omg she’s soooooo beautifuuuuul” lmao) but I’ll leave that for another show-encompassing meta too :P

Madi

She catapulted herself to Forever Fave status pretty quickly (I may have too many of those in this show.  W h a t e v e r  xDD). I love how self-assured she is (“when I speak my men listen, and they do as I say”), and how she always thinks of the big picture (like when she fought her impulse to order her men to fight against the pirates after one of them beat one of hers). And I have a lot of Feels about how this is explicitly linked to her heritage, her mother and father, their ~legacies.

Speaking of: one of the few major spoilers I seem to have avoided was that Mr. Scott was Madi’s father LOL. I was DELIGHTED by that reveal, and how it makes you reconsider his story. His relationship with Eleanor could’ve been a frankly off-putting cliché, but this completely circumvents that; it’s true that he’d shown more independence from her than I would’ve expected in another show, by leaving her side to do his own thing and further contributing to her vulnerability. But giving him a real* family, one that he prioritises over Eleanor and HID FROM HER, using her position to their benefit... That’s on a whole other level.

*I know some people are going to object to this qualifier. Fandom gets like that about found families, adopted families, etc. And I get it, but this is NOT like those situations. Mr. Scott was Eleanor’s SLAVE, FFS. That is incompatible with being her family, her father figure, no matter what she thought. And I love that the show made it explicit, when Madi tried to talk about his “two daughters” and he said “NO. ONLY YOU” in his deathbed (I might or might not have cried, okay. It may be one of my favourite scenes in the whole series). Especially when there’s a very obvious trend of characters of color COINCIDENTALLY being written as prioritizing white characters over their biological families, at the cost of their health and even their lives (I am still not over Monty being forced to kill his own mother to protect Octavia in The 100. Fuck that shit, seriously). Black Sails deciding to do the oposite here is FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY and I love it to pieces.

Another thing I loved is that they picked an actress that looks more like Mr. Scott than like her mother or Max (darker skin etc.): aka how the few black female characters that usually get what Madi will from Silver --that ~eternal devotion, willing to go against anything and anyone for her etc.-- tend to look.

Unsurprisingly, I like Madi/Silver VERY MUCH lol. I like that he is immediately ~drawn to her, in a subtle way, and viceversa (like in the scene where he’s still in the cage watching how she has trouble breathing after seeing her wounded father, or when they hug after his death). All their talks about power, responsibility, succession etc. are really good. And her concern for him is as palpable as probably inconvenient for her xD. I love the scene where she holds her hand as his leg is treated, or her worry one Silver calls himself a “one legged creature”. Though my favourite might be when he smiles when she shows concern for his state after killing Dufresne, and she’s like “well duh, if you fall apart the alliance between my people and yours is screwed” xDD

And though there hasn’t been much development yet on that side, I’m already so onboard with Flint/Madi/Silver lmfao. I love that nod of ~acknowledgment between Flint and Madi with the Maroon Queen’s voiceover about how Madi will have as much authority as Flint in his own ship xD. Her concern about Silver’s relationship with him is kind of ironic knowing that they’ll eventually find themselves more aligned between them than with Silver, by virtue of their many commonalities LOL. And there’s already traces of that ot3 feels, like when Madi tells Silver that the mistake of those “other people close to Flint” that he’s so scared of following to the grave was trying to deal with Flint alone (Madi’s seduction technique: kindness, understanding, and offers of partnership. I dig it).

I want more scenes of and with her mother, too. And between her mother and Silver, since apparently the Maroon Queen trusts him among all the pirates NOT to betray them for money (Jack saying the irony wasn’t lost on him and Flitn was hilarious xD) and that has to be thanks to Madi’s opinion of him. I’m kind of bitter we never got a Mr. Scott & Silver scene, too, especially after Silver and Madi become romantically involved. I love that stuff.

Miranda

I could just upload a bunch of gifs of various crying/in pain/etc. states here because WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS THE PAINNN. I was ~feeling Flint’s grief the entire time, I swear (though... did it have to express itself by shaving his head... asking for a friend). The violence he kept inflicting in her name (her word will be the last word); how he convinced his crew, Silver included, to go into the storm rather than surrendering, for her (and narratively speaking Silver is right, he did conjure it xDD). How fucking tired he is of it all (“you can talk your way part it”, “I don’t know that I have any more lies left in me”).

As far as I’m concerned he could be hallucinating her the rest of the show (I’m going to miss seeing her so much... especially in light of the ending), as painful as I find those scenes. At this point “But when I lost you... I am ruined over you” is an instant tear-jerker, ugh. So is Flint wantint to let go and “be with her”, and ghost!Miranda saying she’d resent him for giving up. Though my favourite is when Miranda basically describes herself as his “maker”, about how she ~shaped him *clenches fist*. I love those kinds of ships.

BTW: I think the moment Rogers mentioned Thomas, Miranda’s ghost, Flint, and I, yelled “HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME” on the inside xD

Flint & Silver

Sometimes fandom gets it right because the relationship between these two is... A Lot. A LOT. I anticipate a lot of suffering on my part in the near future xD

I loved the evolution in the first half of the season, from Flint telling Silver that “in my head, you’re not welcome”, or Silver resenting that Flint’s words convinced HIM (HE’S the convincer!! It’s not supposed to happen to ME!! xDD) and rambling about how Flint is “able to ~conjure the reality he desires”, to Silver finally confessing about his part on the Urca gold robbery (which I’m at least 60% sure Flint suspected already tbh. That was not one of Silver’s best lies lbr) in order to force Flint to “account for ME” --but ofc still grabbing the nearest weapon as he confeses, just in case xDD. I am also incredibly delighted by the fact that the fandom calls that episode “shark date” asdñflkasjdf (*Flint and Silver barely manage to kill one shark*; Flint, challenging: again? *Silver grins*. Shark hunting = foreplay now, apparently).

I want it known that I end up ENRAGED every time they talk about their ~partnership lmfao. It comes off very intimate and gives me too many feelings xD. “When you and I talk with one voice, we can convince them of anything”; “your words opened that door [Flint convincing the Maroon Queen to spare their lives and join their fight]”; “you didn’t tell me the journey into the dark feels good”; “he doesn’t know how to say no to the both of us at the same time”; “I’m afraid I will be the end of you”. JUST STOP YOU ASSHOLES XDD

One of my favourite moments is when Silver convinces Flint to live. To go on, to talk to the Maroon Queen without a safeguard (that knife would’ve been his doom) and get her on their side (which Flint does with a super passionate speech about fighting England’s empire. ILH). Another is when Silver tells him he enjoyed killing Dufresne WITH HIS PROSTHETIC LEG OMFG (I personally think killing Dufresne was very valid of him lmfao), or Flint says Silver enjoyed punishing Dobbs (which in Silver fashion, worked perfectly for him because it made Dobbs MORE susceptible to him). Though obviously everything pales when compared to the scene where CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE LMFAO. I loved that scene; it was so gentle. And then Silver made it about him and their relationship xDD (this show is not subtle). Flint’s apparent lack of concern about Silver replacing him is stressing me out though. I dread the series finale xD

Outside of Flint/Silver, Silver’s journey remains awe-inspiring. I just... love him. I love that he gave up his share of the Urca gold because he had to hold onto the crew, but that he is terrified of their bow to take care of him. His concern for his image in front of them was heartbreaking and hit waaaaay too close to home, too. And I wonder how he’s going to react to Billy’s King Long John Silver stratagem xD

BTW, I lowkey shipped him with Muldoon LOL. They should’ve had ~tender sex~~ (on screen, I headcanon it did happen off-screen, whatever) at some point (if only so there was one measly mlm sex scene in the show amidst all the rest. It’s troubling, to say the least, that there’s not a single one when it has a queer male lead tbh. And I get why they didn’t go that route with Flint outside of Thomas and can even see why they didn’t do it with Flint/Thomas even if I judge the hell out of them for it, but given how they go out of their way for the other options... yeah, I side eye them).

Jack

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I WISH HE HAD MORE SCREENTIME, OKAY. Every time he opens his mouth the show gets just a little bit better, if you ask me xD. “If you’re going to behave like children, I will be your daddy” WHO SAYS THAT JACK XDD.

I loved him even more when he decided to deny Rogers & co the cache, Spanish invasion or not, to not give up and assure “his legacy”. And OF COURSE he could write his intentions in a way that only Anne would understand (Max reaaaally understimated him there). Their relationship remains the sweetest (weird adjective, maybe, but it’s true) part of the show, btw. I love that how Jack describes how hurt Anne would feel after knowing she might’ve unwittingly betrayed him. Or when he knew Anne giving up to easily meant she had a plan and he cheerfully told Rogers Anne would find a way to save him xD (the scene where he absolutely drags Rogers about his privilege --“but did I make up a lot of ground to catch you!”-- is perfect. And their reunion kiss was so, so cute.

Other highlights were when he threw away the key of the cache in front of Flint to secure it, or made his pitch to be his fellow captain in the fight. I also take a petty pleasure in the fact that Vane sacrificed himself when he went to his rescue LOL. 

I like that he convinced Blackbeard to fight alongside them, but sweetie, you have NOTHING to prove to that asshole. His opinion is worthless (between his “strife is good” and Vane’s “comfort is for women” takes... ugh. They remind me of the exact discourse among leftism I hate okay xDD. In Vane’s case I at least get where he’s coming from and I even agree in part, but Blackbeard is even more boring).

Misc

-I love Billy’s more and more insidious antagonism towards Flint lmfao (yes, Flint is also one of my Forever Faves. This is compatible AND the kind of thing that would make me appreciate Billy more. I love irreverence, period). It starts with subtle ways of trying to poison Flint and Silver’s relationship (telling Silver Flint doesn’t see him as an equal, sending Silver to deliver Flint’s message instead of Flint himself, etc.). I laughed at him saying he’s all for Flint sacrificing himself for the crew since it’d be the “first selfless thing I’ve seen him do!” lol. Or that he “wants a good view when things catch up with Flint and the world makes sense again”. And ofc, creating the legend of Long John Silver. You just know he remembered Flint’s out of left field “I AM YOUR KING” and said “not on my fucking watch” xDD. And I love the irony of him being the one delivering black spots LOL.

-Did it really took that long for Anne and Flint to share some freaking words smh. Barely, but I’ll take it. I liked the moment where Jack references Max as “Anne’s lost love” and Flint does that Closeted Queer Observing A Queer Couple Look lol (he did the same when he was witness to Max and Eleanor’s fight. You need more queer friends, Flint :P).

-I liked Mrs. Hudson from the moment that she told Eleanor that the only difference she saw between her and other ladies is that their families have better lawyer --which meant Eleanor was the first one she could be rude towards xD--, and accused her of living of her father’s nepotism LOL. I hope she ends up in a good place and safe back with her kids.

-I can’t say I care much about Vane or his relationship with Eleanor, but his death and her hand on it were very well written IMO.

-I find Rogers so inherently unlikeable in every way LMFAO. And as hypocritical as it might sound, part of it is the extramarital affair ngl. I hate storylines where a man married to a more “conventional” woman is ~attracted to one he perceives as “stronger”, “fiercer”, and more worthy of himself (as if his opinion on the matter is worth shit) --only to eventually try and make the new woman more conventional once he “has” her. This one hasn’t gone all the way there but it has traces of that trope and I loathe it with all my heart.

-The only moment I managed to pay attention to Blackbeard was when he mentioned he had shrapnel advancing towards his heart, and for anyone who knows me a little, you know it’s because my brain linked that to Tony Stark lmfao. *Sighs* I just never like any version of Blackbeard, period. I find them so boring. He’s the opposite of Long John Silver that way, because I’ve loved every single version I’ve encountered so far.

-The way Spain is portrayed in this show is so... unusual. Especially for USA content in my experience. One day I’m going to have to do some more research and write about how Spain (and in particular Spanish violence -inter and intranational) is portrayed across the ocean.

[ganymedesclock]

Clockie unpacks: Team Sincline

Well, okay, here it is, it’s time to talk about it.

So, I went through a lot of emotions with season 8. Some of them were disappointment. Some of them were anger. Some of them were happiness, and, some of them were a kind of relief.

The first is the realization that I’ve been kind of putting the show on an idealized pedestal. At first, that was easy- a lot of its issues were minor and easily overlooked in the face of what was overwhelmingly a lot of good. And even in its ending, it did a lot of good.

But it also did some not so good, and some genuinely frustrating.

And that’s okay. I think ultimately, the verdict is I still like Legendary Defender. It’s been the kicking-off point to get me heavily into the other Voltron continuities and I think out of the continuities I’ve encountered it’s still by far leader of the pack. It did its job getting me to care heavily about all of these characters and a total clown show with no redeeming qualities would not have done that.

That said, it definitely has lobbed the ball right into that particular intense alley where with enough to make me love it, it also has enough to frustrate me and get my little rewriting goblin fingers trembling up a storm, which is about what I’ve been doing in private with my friends since s8 dropped- lots and lots and lots of AUs.

I’m going to be titling and tagging all of these “Clockie Unpacks S8″- specifically referring to me unpacking my thoughts and emotions on the show. This is obviously not meant to be taken as an unbiased judgment from on high, just a dude in his kitty pjs and at some point, other clothes, blogging about cartoons. Also, fair warning, this is gonna have some undertones of bitterness to it; again, I still love the show, but there’s quite a few things they did I am really not wild about.

With that introduction, let’s kick things off. The first topic I’m picking is really, really predictable, because it’s my favorite goshdang characters.

Team Sincline: Ezor, Axca, Lotor, Narti, and Zethrid. Admittedly, this is going to be looking at them from s3 to the end of the show, so, it’s gonna have a lot more than just s8 in it, but, with the show concluding, I want to talk about what I loved and what I didn’t.

The frustrating thing about Team Sincline is that I can go back all the way to s3 and tell that these guys were not intended to make it.

The Lack of Curiosity

Even when we were clearly given the screentime and focus to relate to them, to want them to win, to want them to do well, a certain amount of onscreen attention is not given to how they’re obviously struggling. We know they’re struggling. Their entire thing is they’re a group of disenfranchised minorities within the empire. They act like people who are all quietly used to being desperate, to making cutthroat decisions, from Acxa stonefaced gunning down Lotor (which, sorry, that, was not an act,) to Lotor ultimately getting frustrated at the paladins because he knows it was bad to hurt the colony Alteans, the morality of the action is besides the point, the point is if you didn’t want the cutthroat solution to the problem you shouldn’t have left him in charge, and don’t you show up passing judgment with all of your better resources and actual support after he’s already done the hard work the brutal way-

But as long as they’re Sincline, we just see them in sharp uniforms. We never see Lotor outside of his nice uniform, actually, except when he’s a child.

Lotor has a crew besides the generals, but, we never hear who they are. We just assume a significant part of the empire followed him into exile, even when in practice, we can assume the two fleets Acxa dismissively sets up to be bait for Voltron in s3e3 weren’t any of theirs. Are these more half-galra? Why would they wear standard imperial uniforms? There’s so many questions about how Lotor got half the resources he did, and where he got them, considering he was so obviously cut off from support and holding colonies. If he did obtain other territories for fiscal support, why didn’t he or the generals run to any of them when things went downhill?

The generals themselves have no backstory. Sure, there are implications- all the parallels drawn between Acxa and Keith-

(though Krolia’s comment in s6e2 that Keith was the most important thing to her would seem a bit condemning to the idea she had another child, unless she somehow assumes her daughter is dead, and is thus excluding her on those grounds, much like she would exclude her husband who she knows is dead- likewise, Keith never sees a second child, unless Acxa was born afterwards, meaning Krolia was pregnant when she left and was unaware, which might explain why she didn’t return to Earth to leave Acxa behind, if her pregnancy was only discovered once she was already undercover and there wasn’t an easy way to make the baby disappear back to Earth where she’d be safe)

-there’s Kythra which is brought up as a setting and Te-Osh openly shoved in our faces so we can see how obvious it is Zethrid is galra-kythran, a connection that never appears to go anywhere, not with Te-Osh, and not with Kythra as a planet. We don’t even seem to have any more Kythrans in the coalition even though they help Pidge in her search in s4e2.

There’s Ranveig’s superweapon, which, especially in the technopathy it manifests, strongly resembles Narti and makes it pretty likely where she came from.

And there’s one of the pirates in s7 and s8 who’s seemingly the same galra-unknown that Ezor is, possibly a relative of hers.

But these stories aren’t explored. I’m not saying we needed full backstory episodes from all of them- runtime is limited (although, frankly, why would you introduce these characters and never go into who they are)- but we needed something. Hell, if nothing else, it would’ve been nice to mention and acknowledge Narti’s existence sometime after s4. She became something to condemn Lotor over, and, then, everyone forgot about her, evidently; the paladins never ask about that one with no eyes that gave them so much trouble, they never even have to face or deal with her incredible power.

And especially when we discover Kova was basically Lotor’s only childhood friend, this should have massively recontextualized his relationship with Narti that he would give Kova to her as her attendant. It should’ve meant something serious and concerning that he would just leave Kova behind without a second thought even if we somehow have assumed that Lotor wouldn’t grieve Narti.

Frankly, it should have meant something serious that he’d cut Narti down in the first place, but we have so little answers on how Haggar was able to affect Narti. Yes, we can speculate, especially about the riftbugs and Ranveig’s superweapon, but the thing is, this plot hole shouldn’t be here where we as an audience need to fill it. Did Lotor assume Narti was a willing traitor? Has Haggar done this to him before? Could she have killed Narti on her own?

These questions aren’t answered. And, as a result, the dissolution of Team Sincline feels kind of contrived.

Why did they fall apart?

In s3, it’s clear the Generals are completely trusting of Lotor. Even when that’s called into question, they clearly miss him and want him back. Before s4e3, it seems like nothing’s taboo or uncomfortable for them; and four for four, these are cautious, smart, calculating people. They do not trust blindly. As far as VLD’s own rules about solidarity, trust, and open emotional exchange, Team Sincline does everything right in its first season.

Lotor is emotionally transparent to the generals. Not just in the sense of which plans he tells them about in detail and involves them in the formation of (the majority of them) but that he makes his entire thought process clear to them, to the point that in many ways, they’re comfortable and confident in their ability to read Lotor.

The times that they’re unable to read him, and are shocked by his behavior, frankly doesn’t even work as a contrast to this- because when Lotor surprises them, it’s because these sentiments genuinely are coming out of left field.

The Lotor that screams he’s going to get rid of all of the galra is not talking about a long-term plan, and this is pretty obvious given how earlier in the exact same season, he pulls this face when Allura talks about how they need to protect occupied galra planets. Keep in mind this is Allura- someone who Lotor unambiguously admires and adores.

Keep in mind Allura’s heroic and compassionate nature is pretty clearly one of the things Lotor admires about her. 

This is a guilty reaction. This is someone who’s agreeing with Allura’s assessment that they morally have to respond to the Omega Shield- whose objection against it was not that he didn’t want to, but that he suspected it was a trap.

If Lotor’s endgame goal was to make the Alteans into an army and use them to kill the galra, none of his behavior makes any sense. However, if that was never Lotor’s endgame goal but something he landed on in a combination of desperation and power high because he’s been kicked so many times in his ability to trust that frankly the idea that just getting rid of everyone so he can finally, finally stop feeling personally betrayed by everything he gets close to starts to look like an appealing option- makes total sense to his behavior.

And I can’t fault Ezor for being scared of that side of him once it rears its head. Lotor’s breakdown at the end of s6 is not pretty at all, and after Narti’s fate, the generals are all unsure whether or not the Lotor they know is real (though we as an audience have all the evidence it is) or if he’s just been a very successful conman. They’re all, as much as he is, vulnerable people in a bad bargaining position. They’re all going to be anxiously hypervigilant that they weren’t just suckered by someone they felt like they could trust for years.

I can’t blame Acxa and Allura for talking about him the way they do.

I can blame the narrative, however, for giving them those words, for giving them those situations, that response, and never challenging it.

In s8, we do a lot of mooning over Lotor’s fate. In s8 we’re given the most sympathetic flashbacks to Lotor’s lifetime of abuse, neglect, and how many times his legs were basically cut out from under him, how many times he lost everything and had to start over from scratch at Zarkon’s whim, and all the scar tissue that built up psychologically for him.

However, all that s8 mooning is exclusively for Honerva’s benefit. Lotor’s long gone, and they went out of their way to show us, grotesquely, exactly how far gone and not coming back he is. The generals aren’t there. The main time Lotor talks is as a puppet for the riftbug playing on Allura’s lingering guilt and lost love.

This is pretty significant considering Sincline- the symbol of this team, the unity of what they could accomplish together- is stolen by Honerva, puppeted, and then assimilated into her machine.

The feeling is these people were conceived in s3 specifically to be disposed of. They were born to die. Their downfall was planned from the start, and that is the explanation for the lack of curiosity.

I’ve seen the argument raised that they’re supposed to contrast Voltron in terms of their dissolution but if you want to explore a failed team in contrast to our heroes... we already have that, perfectly tailored to the role in a way that Sincline is not remotely. A team whose failure is written in the stars from the moment we clap eyes on them, and whose downfall moves enormous pieces of the plot:

The paladins of old.

If we really wanted to write a drama about the dissolution of Team Voltron, they were right there. We know before we meet Gyrgan, Trigel, and Blaytz that all of these people are dead. We even get to see them in the finale. And they’re, of the three groups of paladins we see, the ones who aren’t underdogs. They were sovereigns of occupied planets. They were confident, bold, enthusiastic about the future and they had very little to fear.

There’s stories to tell there, but, ultimately, they’re the least compelling- what makes them interesting is that sense of a forgotten golden age, the way they were lost to time, and lost to Zarkon’s ambition.

Conversely, Team Sincline is basically a group of vulnerable minorities holding onto each other in the dark. Even when they’re introduced confidently and dramatically...

...We see them stealing around central command like thieves. When they move publicly, they move together; when they talk, it’s lurking around in darkened corners, privately discussing how their duplicity of the larger empire is going well.

These are vulnerable people. Even at the top of their game, they cannot afford making their sentiments open publicly. And even in public, Lotor’s speech to the empire is all about its maltreatment of minorities. It’s all about the underside of their boot, and the people ground into dust beneath it, because it’s a defining characteristic of Lotor, and of the generals, that they are the people who’ve been under the empire’s boot this entire time. They contrast the paladins and Allura as people who’ve been heavily affected by the empire’s cruelty, but largely, distantly, or in ways that did not define their life from the cradle. Even Shiro, who was actually brought into the empire’s hierarchy, only endured that hell for a single year before Ulaz rescued him and got him out of there, and he had a stable childhood and supportive environment to get him through it.

Team Sincline has nothing but each other. And then, starting with s4e3, we see them lose that. Peeled away, layer by layer by layer, as they get more miserable, more desperate, and continue stealing, continue bartering, losing more and more as they keep trying to find some way to make it work because these are people who’ve learned a long time ago their tears are meaningless and the only comfort they have is what they can find in the cracks.

There’s really nothing interesting about their downfall. It’s just sad. And frankly the reason why I was so sure this was going to turn around was the sense that they can’t just leave it like this. They wouldn’t just kill Narti with no saving grace and leave her body there in a way that doesn’t affect the plot at all, even to the end that they want it to- that she could easily have just been there with the other generals and parted ways with Lotor when they did. They wouldn’t just have Lotor lose all his friends one more time. They wouldn’t just take all of this amazing room to grow and explore these characters and flush it down the toilet to achieve basically nothing.

And? If I’m honest? They did.

3/5ths of a happy afterthought

I initially thought people were kidding when they said The Grudge looked like they planned for Ezor to have died in s7e3 and Zethrid perish in an attempt at revenge but oh boy howdy. Sure there could be innocent reasons they didn’t have Kimiko Glenn there in s8- it’s not like all the times they’ve changed Acxa’s VA mean they were planning to off her- but everything about that episode makes what I dismissed as a conspiracy theory sound a lot more plausible.

Zethrid is not a vengeful person. We see from as early as her first appearance that she has a soft spot for small animals and children. She can be talked down from killing people very easily, she likes to fight but talks up fighting worthy opponents- she’s happiest cutting her teeth against something big and strong like her that can hold its own.

Her motivation is also, overwhelmingly, that of a Yellow Paladin. There’s a reason she’s so clearly Hunk’s counterpart. “I will always protect you, Ezor.” We can actively see in s7e3 that when the blast goes off, Zethrid tries to shield Ezor with her own body. 

The heartbroken Zethrid we see in The Grudge, not quite taking care of herself, full of anger and bitterness and down to just wanting to make someone else hurt as much as she is- really could only have happened logically if Ezor had died. If Zethrid had felt like she’d failed as a protector for the last time, and was hitting a similar wall to Lotor himself- where after so many people dying or otherwise being lost she just couldn’t take it any more and gave up on trying.

In her post- grudge negotiations with the team, Zethrid is levelheaded and calm. Before being reunited with Ezor, she just looks empty and tired.

The person who’s always been the vindictive one is Ezor, and I don’t say that to demonize Ezor and depict Zethrid as saintly.

Ezor has an obvious edge to her, and, out of Team Sincline, she’s also the one who voices the most doubts and fears. She talks about the fun in torturing someone, and, behind the scenes, she also talks about being personally terrified that they’re going to be hunted down. She’s the one basically panicking as soon as Narti’s body hits the floor, she’s the one who’s anxious at Acxa shooting Haggar (“did you kill her?”)

Ezor is a brittle person- a lot of broken edges and anxiety. This is why The Grudge seems like an odd reversal in roles. If anyone would get overly preoccupied with getting even to the point of losing sight of themselves, it’d be Ezor. If anyone would be the person willing to bargain with enemies because this has gone too far and they’re scared of something going wrong and happening to hurt the other person, it’d be Zethrid. Zethrid who’s always defined herself as Ezor’s protector.

Now, again, being fair, it really does seem like they were backing off from a version of The Grudge that featured a dead Ezor and Zethrid either going to die or simply give up and remain in custody afterwards. But again, it comes back to this sense that Team Sincline suffers a huge amount in a way that doesn’t seem to narratively accomplish much or be particularly meaningful.

When the timeskip happens, Acxa and Matt grow their hair out. Earth builds its way up to a superpower on the footing with other planets and fights Sendak for survival.

Zethrid loses an eye and Ezor an entire leg, which s8 chases with a disfiguring scar for Zethrid and a missing eye for Ezor, too.

Now, I’m all for disability representation. Thing is, if that’s the angle they were going for, they could have started Team Sincline out with these grievous injuries. Hell, you could argue there’s potential evidence Ezor’s had a prosthetic leg all along- after all, in s5e2, she’s able to parry Shiro’s laser prosthetic with her leg and it would contextualize a lot of her fearful attitude and that she’s both romantically and in other ways drawn to Zethrid, who’s probably the warmest and most protective person out of Team Sincline.

As far as an “afterthought”.... Acxa sort of fades into the background in many ways after she starts working with the paladins. Someone who has been incredibly driven, who most clearly seems to follow Lotor out of a sense of higher purpose and something to believe in became a drifter who shows up to help the paladins and then wanders off to the coalition. She doesn’t even accompany them to Earth to help with the journey.

And then there’s their scene in the aftermath. Ultimately, the three surviving members of Team Sincline take their scars and injuries and join the Blade. They become Keith’s subordinates. Is this satisfying for them? Unsatisfying? Hard to say, since we know very little about their past and motivations. Zethrid probably likes taking care of people, but, is this the way she’d want to do that?

Narti stays dead. Maybe she somehow picked herself up, made an Altean suit, cut her tail off and became Matt’s helmeted girlfriend, but, considering how much of a ridiculous speculative long shot that is, I’m not going to cite that to canon’s credit.

Lotor stays dead, and, much like Narti’s death- so much of what led up to Lotor’s demise is rather poorly explained. We don’t know why Lotor harvested the colony, or what his intentions were, or if he planned to heal the podded Alteans, or even how Bandor escaped. With so many unknowns on the table, and so many things left open, we’re left feeling unsatisfied- like, maybe this whole thing could have been avoided, maybe the response was reasonable, we just get the shock- either of Lotor killing Narti or the sight of the lab- and then we’re urgently bustled forwards without analyzing the situation.

Not only that, but his afterlife ghost passed up Allura- his love- and Alfor- his personal hero- to have a loving heart to heart with both of his abusers.

Here’s the thing. Honerva never apologized. She said ‘he deserved better’ after having spent centuries watching him suffer and not just sitting on her hands but actively making it worse. Honerva, the one who has so much to say about her own suffering, has no possible way she could’ve been unaware of Lotor’s misery and the effect she was having on it. No matter what Being Haggar did to her, which seems largely a factor of disorientation and amnesia, you shouldn’t need to remember that baby came out of your body before you care at all that the person it grew up into has just lost everything while you sit there and watch, having more than enough power to stop this.

Zarkon never apologized to Lotor.

Neither of them made amends. Neither of them did anything that warranted Lotor being kind to them.

Neither of them even needed him for their happy ending. He was frankly just a possession to them. Honerva only ever even seems to consider Lotor’s own feelings at a point when Allura forcibly shows them to her. If we wanted Honerva to be welcomed warmly when she steps into the light, you could easily have had Zarkon waiting for her- because Zarkon loved her, because it would give her life a cyclic sense of closure from how we see in s3e7, that Zarkon and Haggar began what happened to them hand in hand, together, and they could end the same way.

We know for a fact Zarkon would be happy to see her. This is even further vindicated in the “happy family” alternate reality- Zarkon’s the one who’s ready to take this woman in as his lost wife with open arms, while Lotor is the one holding back, wary, anxious, “that’s not my mother.”

The only reason that’s unacceptable to Honerva is because Honerva doesn’t want to respect Lotor’s feelings, she wants Lotor to flatter hers. She has major entitlement problems to Lotor, and the finale makes him a prop for her welfare.

That ‘walk into the light’ scene could have been a lot more palatable if they’d simply put Lotor on Alfor’s other side, and had Zarkon alone doing the sweet hand clasp with Haggar.

But that’s our last note on Lotor- the idea that he’s going to be spending whatever afterlife they have here with his abusers. Lotor didn’t get anything he wanted. 

And Narti? We don’t even know what she wanted, just that she trusted Lotor, and that somehow, when Team Sincline does trust, it leads to their total dissolution. Sincline itself is gone, having never once actualized. Lotor’s dead, Narti’s dead, and Haggar went ahead and murdered Kova.

The three survivors firmly set that chapter of their life behind them, discarded the Sincline uniforms, became Blades, and, evidently, spent the rest of their lives handing out relief packages to war-torn planets.

I don’t want to take a dump on relief workers here. Humanitarian work is beautiful and important and heroic. But in practice, how they framed it in that show is an afterthought. They’re not suffering but what they’re doing doesn’t really have a sense it’s personally meaningful to them.

I might be unsatisfied with some of the endings VLD did for its main characters, but at least they’re recognized as heroes and get to stay together, or, in the one area that’s not the case, say goodbye and be remembered fondly. But I think Team Sincline absolutely got the rawest deal here, and that’s on a list that includes Alfor, Gyrgan, Trigel, and Blaytz being frozen as corrupted mindscape ghosts for ten thousand years.

Additional Notes: Sincline-Adjacent Figures

I mentioned Lotor’s crew earlier, and, the thing is, there’s a perfect answer within canon for who Lotor’s crew beneath the generals could have been.

What highly diverse group of people,

(because Lotor would put his money where his mouth is in more ways than just with the generals)

Would Lotor logically find at the edge of the universe,

(because he had to have built these forces in exile and without imperial support, since he has them at his disposal at the beginning of s3)

Who would be immediately ready and willing to double-cross and otherwise raise merry hell on the empire, to the point of building rift gates and comet ships behind their back,

(because a single person willing to barter what they knew for a pardon could have fucked up Lotor’s entire operation spectacularly)

Who would also be a pool of talent untapped by the empire so Lotor feasibly could get at least some of the best pickings,

(because you don’t want an uneducated clown putting your interreality gate together)

Who would be an interesting and colorful cast of characters to play off of, and loud and rambunctious because they’re not career soldiers, even if they are career fighters-

(thematically contrasting the regimented and heavily classist, stratified empire)

Who would also thematically lend themselves very well to Lotor’s hit-and-run, evasive, deceptive, adaptive underdog tactics?

A group of people who have traditionally been the enemies of the entrenched government and who have often been minorities?

Pirates.

Pirates exactly like the ones who without any explanation for where they came from, were working for Ezor and Zethrid after the timeskip. Pirates who had their own custom uniforms as if they had some reason to have a sense of decorum. Pirates who are already full of interesting and memorable characters like the nosering pirate, Blofar, the armored giant Coran faced, and the smart-aleck Olkari technician.

Lotor literally talks about desegregating the imperial fleet and recruiting people based on the merit of their skills and not how galra they are back in s3e1. And yes, as a half-galra himself employing four other half-galra, it’s not like he’s a hypocrite about that- but it feels like a serious oversight to just give him the standard imperial-armored subordinates and drones.

The pirates should have been Lotor’s crew. They should have been there from the start playing off the generals and off of Lotor, and that would have helped us flesh out Lotor and the generals so much more. Yes, you’d have to make some adjustments to scenes like s3e2′s fighter ship battle to make it clear they were drones and not imply the paladins just massacred a likable bunch of rag-tag pirate antiheroes but all that would take is some acknowledgement that Sincline, like the empire, uses drone-piloted fighter ships.

Hell, it’d give a sense in s3 besides Zethrid’s offhanded reference of pilots going into the rift in s3e4 (presumably also drones since Lotor has no reason to waste manpower and try loyalties making them throw themselves fatally at a rift) that Lotor and the Generals aren’t just doing what they do in an empty ship.

And you know who else could’ve been there?

Ven’tar.

Sure, her people were massacred and her planet burnt to pieces by Zarkon and that was significant to Lotor character-wise- it marked the decisive, keening death of his intention to appease his parents and try to work with them- but Ven’tar could’ve also have taken significance and motivation from that going forwards. it’s her planet, her people, and, it would make it feel a lot less dismissively killed off.

There was someone Lotor trusted leading the “secret team” constructing the inter reality gate. Someone who’d know things about Quintessence, who would again have a grudge on the empire.

I’m saying, rather than a lost lenore, you could make Ven’tar Lotor’s bitter chief engineer. Sure you’d need some explanation for how she’s still alive but this setting has been basically handing out immortality like candy to a bunch of its secondary cast but I feel like they could narratively find a reason for Ven’tar to be alive.

While we’re at it, you could also have had Dayak there (the one from s6, not the slightly inexplicable other one from s8 given the entire way Lotor introduces s6 Dayak never once implies that the word “Dayak” is not a name, which, the best explanation I’ve heard for that one is that “Dayak” is a surname and the s8 one is the s6 one’s sister) since she’s so obviously enthusiastic about Lotor taking the throne and standing by him, there’s not really a reason she’d hide out until it was safe and then fair-weather return to Lotor’s side when she’s such an aggressive and forwards person about her opinions and what she stands for.

There’s so much to work with, here. We could have explored so much of this. They put this tantalizing information on the table, and, then, just sort of pushed it to the floor without considering it.

[antiphon]

killingevekindoflove replied to your post “I think the reason Eve Polastri is so much more interesting than any...”

I watched the first episode again and I am in agreement that while Eve thinks she's "normal" she's really just bored. She's a murder junkie, but it's not until the slaughter in the hospital when Hurricane Villanelle blows through that the cracks in her facade starts to show.

It’s a Coming Out story, but not only in her late to the party but still really ready to party sexual awakening. Something else is awakening too and I really want to see it come out to play in S3. 

Oh, and while you struck it out, don’t sleep on what being a woman of color means in the overall message of KE. Perhaps because it is a safe bet that the majority of the fans are White they don’t reference Eve’s racial unique status in a genre dominated by White dudes. If Eve were Black or Latina, I believe it would manifest in ways it doesn’t because she’s Asian.

In America, Asians are pigeon holed as “the model minority” though Eve can be a lazy lump and subverts that trope on a regular basis.😁

First of all,  I don’t know whether British stereotypes have something equivalent to the model minority trope for East Asian people; I’m not British. But I assume it’s likely. I crossed out the thing about Eve being a woman of color (and Korean-American specifically) not because I think it’s unimportant but just because it wasn’t what that post was about; the body politics of Killing Eve are all important - gender and age and class performance and ability and desirability and race are essential elements of the storytelling. In particular, I really appreciated what the show did with Jin (the Ghost), where it offered us a woman who’s more like Eve in some ways (closer to Eve’s age than Carolyn or V, Korean) and uses the relative invisibility of that position to do what Villanelle does more flamboyantly. There’s a way in which she seems more real than V, and the threat she poses is more naked once we see her, and that absolutely has to do with the ways she reflects Eve. Even though Eve isn’t drawn to her in the same way - Eve wants to be excited, and Jin’s strategy is effective but isn’t a thrill. Killing Eve traffics so much in desirability and pleasure, and outside of super male-gaze-y hypersexualizing tropes, that isn’t something that in US (and I assume British) culture we tend to grant a ton of to Asian women, particularly as subjects of it. Jin takes advantage of that; Eve wants to look outside of it. This is complicated and not entirely good lmao (though largely I think that’s bc it’s reflective of a not-entirely-good reality, it’s also not terribly imaginative in a show that often is), but it’s definitely interesting. I don’t want to do a ton of speculating on what the show would be like if Eve were a different race, partly because there are a lot of choices the show could make as a result of any version of Eve, partly because I’m white and have no investment in a specific alternate version of Eve and a lot of discomfort with the idea of saying “let’s make the Asian character the one whose race we change for this thought experiment,” and partly because I see a lot of value in the Eve we have (this is not me saying other people shouldn’t speculate on what would happen with changes to Eve, it’s just not where I am right now), but I definitely think you’re right that the show would be different, because the show is aware of Eve as inhabiting a specific body (as well as a specific kind of brain) in the world, and only knowing some ways to inhabit that specific body, and being interested in other possible ways (the convo with Carolyn about the placenta face cream, for instance).

Well, that was longer than I intended it to be lmao.

As to the earlier parts of your comment: yes! I’ve already written like a million things about how my greatest interest in the show is in Eve Polastri trying to learn to live in the world in a way that’s more honest. She has multiple people trying to get her to do that, or expecting her to do that, in particular ways, kind of assuming that having unlocked Eve’s willingness to acknowledge how she’s drawn to Bad Shit, they now are going to reap the benefits of their effort. (Villanelle and Carolyn are of course the most obvious of these.) But she’s questioned both of them as models/guides, and I’m very very interested in what choices she makes going forward.

[formerlyrunephoenix6769]

Catra: Journey to Redemption.

(Long post and spoilers for Season 1 SPOP)

In the run up to the release of ‘She-Ra: Princesses of Power.’ season 2 on April 26th 2019, I have been seeing lots of posts about our resident, ‘misguided; villain and all around badass who knows damn well how to rock a suit. 

Yes, of course, I am talking about Catra!

The nature of the posts I have been seeing have all had a similar vein or sentiment. 

“Give Catra her redemption arc.”  or  “Start Catra’s redemption arc.” 

I am just as hopeful as the the next person for Catra to have a redemption arc, if that is in fact what Noelle Stevenson and the rest of the team have planned for the character. But one thing I will say, is ‘patience’ and a small warning to be prepared,  

Catra is going to get much worse before she can even begin to get better! 

Catra could not possibly even begin to start on a path of redemption by the end of S2 because at the end of S1, she hasnt even begun to explore the full depths of her villainy.  (Being we dont know exactly how many seasons are planned, or what the overall narrative end goal is when it comes to the final conflict and Good triumphing over Evil, much of this is speculative. 

We can however use Avatar Last Airbender and the industry standard of best Redemption Arc ever, in all mediums, Zuko, and their timeline, which I think Noelle Stevenson said in an interview that if a redemption arc was to occur, that they would like to do something that could stand next to Zuko’s redemption arc. 

I will also be using Joseph Campbell’s Hero With a Thousand Faces, and his hero’s journey map as a resource but try implement it for villains)  

If you would like to take a look at my thoughts on redemption arcs in general the feel free to check out the link below. 

https://formerlyrunephoenix6769.tumblr.com/post/182640410231/are-all-villains-redeemable

I’ll be covering similar sentiments here. 

Ok first. 

TIMELINE:. 

ATLAB is only 3 BOOKs long, however the number of episodes, 61 over all, containing 20 minimum in each Book is far more than SPOP’s standard 13, meaning that technically Zuko’s redemption arc played out over just under 6 SPOP seasons, meaning that Zuko’s penultimate episodes, detrimental to his redemption arc, ‘Blue Spirit’ episode 13 in Book 1 and ‘Zuko Alone’  Episode 7 of Book 2, didnt technically take place until till the end of season 1 and half way through season 3 ... going off an SPOP standard time. 

Meaning there was over a season and a half between Zuko doing something right for the wrong reasons and also then moving off to really begin the start of his redemption arc in earnest, which he continues to struggle with right the way into Book 3 ( season 5/6)  

The difference here, I would also like to point out is that Zuko at the very beginning of ATLAB is already technically way ahead of Catra due to him being physically away from his ‘abuser’ and direct control of the life long indoctrination. He also has one up on Catra at this point as he has a ‘Mentor/Guide’ helping to facilitate the transition and help him see the error of his ways.

Technically, this puts Zuko’s character development on the road to redemption (OTRTR)  at least ONE season ahead of Catra. Meaning that his moment of ‘doing something right for the wrong reasons’ in ‘Zuko Alone.’ does not take place until at least the end of season 2, SPOP standard time! 

In other words... 

It's going to take some time for a pussy riot to manifest.

Taking this into account. 

SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES. 

We can not continue without addressing the fact that there are many similarities and differences between the supposed ‘villains’. 

Both were the Scape Goat to a favoured Golden Child yet their interactions with the ‘Gold Child’ are vastly different. 

For Zuko, Azula was an antagonist. For Catra, Adora was an ally. 

Both suffered abuse from their primary caregiver, both were belittled and chastised for supposedly being ‘lesser’. However the fundamental difference is their reactions, Zuko continued to attempt to receive his Father’s favour, whilst Catra, on the surface didn't care, resulting in acting rebelliously. 

Both have issues surrounding self worth and how they express it is vastly different. 

Zuko is hugely unaware of his ‘Empire’s’ indoctrination and the imperialistic rule, believing the propaganda he was raised with. 

Whilst Catra is fully aware of the Horde and its intentions. 

And I think this is worthy of note!

Their ‘villainy’ and motivations are seated in entirely different places. 

Zuko starts out  wishing to ‘reclaim his honour’, prove his worth in his father’s eyes, and reclaim his birthright as the heir to the Fire Nation throne, in the words of his sister,

  It is only as he travels over the next SPOP SDT, 4 seasons that he realises his true purpose. 

Catra, is aware the Horde is evil, is given an opportunity to leave, but chooses not to, instead she willingly sets herself on a dark path to gain power and prove her self worth to everyone around her, esp her abuser, step mom of the year, Shadow Weaver,

Thus setting up the whole shenanigans of SPOP season 1.  

CONFLICT. 

As I covered in my previous post in the link above, a redemption arc cannot occur without showing that the ‘villain’ is conflicted. 

A redemption should be a slow burn, from starting point of why/how they are villains,  also showing the seeds of discontent, inner conflict, conflict of their actions, conflict of their ideals,  whether indoctrinated/learned/or their own misguided musings, then later a larger amount of focus should be placed on how they have overcome that villainy and change of perspective culminating with coming full circle.

What makes Zuko’s particular redemption arc so good is the work that goes into showing this. The time, the attention to detail, not being shied away from by the writers, that  intentionally trickles down and infuses with the character’s essence of being. 

Yes, Catra is conflicted about her relationship with Adora and what Adora means to her. 

This conflict about her and Adora’s relationship was partially resolved with Catra taking Adora’s motivations the wrong way, due to her own issues surrounding her self worth. 

This ‘resolution’ only serves to push Catra further down the a dark path.

But we have yet to see Catra conflicted about her actions and dont expect to see that happen until after we see her fully embrace her villainy, which by the end of S1, she was nowhere near close to doing. (See Triggers and Turning points)

Meaning that “Catra Alone”  might not even occur until midway S3  and actual beginnings of feeling conflicted about her actions, until S4.  

TRIGGER A TURNING POINT.

So we have discussed conflict. Conflict about ones actions can come about in many different forms, but it must be triggered by something that is enough to shake the core foundations of a villains motivations. 

In order for it to be believable and carry weight, a villain cannot  suddenly overnight go, 

 And the protagonists accept it at face value, as the audience wont.  

 A redemption should be a slow burn, from starting point of why/how they are villains and most importantly,  focus on how they have struggled to overcome that villainy and change their perspective. 

The link below is to a previous post, with an avenue of thought of what could trigger Catra on ONRTR.

https://formerlyrunephoenix6769.tumblr.com/post/182601000156/catra-could-she-be-a-lost-princess-and-if-so

Another avenue of thought is that Adora is gravely injured. I am not normally one for such an easy and over done trope but in this instance it is highly possible, because as it stands now, Catra has never nastily physically injured Adora, only She-Ra! 

(When she raked her darn claws down She-Ra’s back. Showing that Catra see’s a difference between to two personalities and isn't as of yet willing to cross that line... Maybe crossing that line will be a stepping stone to embracing her chosen darker path?) 

In fact, Catra has gone out of her way to avoid just that, much preferring to go after Adora emotionally.  

FALLING INTO OLD PATTERNS:

Even after ‘Zuko Alone’ and the Ba Sing Say arc, Zuko begins on a false start redemption by bonding with Katara but by the next episode falls back into old patterns by choosing to side with Azula as the ties that bind and the potential to reclaim his birthright is too hard to ignore. 

Which is totally normal for a teenager. 

This adds so much depth to his inner conflict, a catalyst that later cements his realisation at his true purpose, ushering him through the gates of his redemption arc, towards trying to make amends with the protagonists before they can accept him.   

Catra strikes me as someone who will never be wholly ‘good’, in the sense of the word when it is applied to Bow, Glimmer or Adora, but rather someone who will make super dark comments and morally grey suggestions of how to deal with an issue, which is what we have been shown of her from the very beginning. 

It is hard to say is Catra will ever have this step in a redemption arc due to her already morally grey nature, this could very well be skipped over entirely. 

Narratively speaking and characterization wise, this particular part of an arc could present itself not as a ‘false start’ but could come from ‘Subterfuge and infiltration’ , whereby Catra pretends to come to their side only for her to betray them later, for her own ends. 

OR, 

We could very well have a ‘false start’, where she is trapped with any of the protagonists and they need to work together to escape, similar to the aptly named  ATLAB ep 40 ‘The Crossroads of Destiny’ and SPOPS s1e9 ‘Promise’, which would be a nice mirror, from a narrative standpoint, only for her to run off and return to the Horde once free. 

Again note, that this false start occured for Zuko the very end of S3 SPOP SDT. 

CONCLUSIONS.

Before Catra’s Redemption arc can come to fruition , we need her to go on her journey. Something akin to this, but for villains. 

On this map, if Resurrection is Catra being genuinely accepted by the protagonists as being changed and truly on their side.  I would see Catra as in between Meeting of Mentor (Hordak) and Crossing the Threshold into full blown villany 

So, we need to see her, 

1) Become a true villain. 

2) 1st Trigger.

3) baby Conflict

4)False start, falling into old patterns

5) 2nd Trigger

6)Conflict and Realisation/ (Seizing the Treasure) 

7) Through the Gates 

8) Trial of Proof.

9) Acceptance/Resurrection. 

We could be waiting for some time for a Catra redemption arc to kick in, and please dont be disappointed or frothing at the mouth if we dont see it starting in Season 2... No matter how much you want it out of the way so that ‘other’ things can occur.. 

Please keep in mind.. 

A good Redemption Arc has to be earned! And doing it well takes time!

MEANWHILE  ...

There is ALL OF THIS.... 

I dont even know where to begin starting to unwrap all this tension and awkwardness., 

Think I’m going to leave that for a an entirely different post.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Will’s state of mind in S3

((this is a follow up post to "Hannibal’s state of mind in S3″, reshared))

I believe Will knows how Hannibal feels about him.

Will says “I knew you’d turn yourself in if I rejected you” when he leaves Hannibal in prison once more.

Now, of course, hindsight is 20:20 and by then Will probably wanted to hurl something pointy at Hannibal for trying to get his family killed by sending the Dragon to them. Because Will is definitely vicious and vindictive, in my eyes even more dangerous because he is a loose canon so to speak - if he permits himself to be.

But that means he has thought about why he said it at the very least, probably brooded about it all in the dark of the night when Molly slept. Keeping what Hannibal is and means to him close to himself and only to himself, hiding the letters he gets in his underwear drawer (for heavens sake).

I believe Will rejected Hannibal in that moment because he was at rock bottom, emotional-wise as well, there in that bed in Wolftrap. Now it’s (imho, alway imho) important to remember that, while the events of Mizumono were devastating for Hannibal as well - Jack, Alana and Abigail paid the true price - and so did Will. But Will,…. never intended to go there to betray Hannibal. He allowed himself to be torn open because he realized the depth of the pain he caused Hannibal in that moment, he didn’t even try to defend himself. But he didn’t want that… he WANTED to run away with Hannibal, wanted to kill Jack. Which is something we know from the “red dinner” scene. Jack forced their hands by going there alone. Otherwise… *sighs*

And then Will had to heal there, alone, knowing he had hurt the only one that understood him, just as much as that person had hurt him (though in another way). He discussed -all- of it with himself (through the “ghost” of Abigail), admitting he still wants to go with Hannibal to himself. And so he sets out on a boat, not easily trackable, time for himself to think, trying to track Hannibal down by himself. And Hannibal wants him to, he draws him near, akin to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Will realizes his own need to be near Hannibal, rekindles his relationship in his mind (the stag is his manifestation after all), follows it to the Uffizi after admitting that he “never knew himself as well as when he was with him” out loud to Chiyoh. Who tells him to his face that he is “just like him”.

But Hannibal isn’t ready. He’s getting there but the fight with Jack just before that meeting has left Hannibal without the atonement he was looking for, still unable to properly reciprocate. While the Uffizi scene is undoubtedly romantic it always struck me as more relieved on Will’s side than on Hannibal’s, unbalanced. Hannibal is guarded. He even warns Will not to rush into action, knowing he would need to respond accordingly then.

The next scene is difficult. Because in the script Hannibal has a knife as well, balancing the scene out, the threat, making them equally unsure of where they stand, equally dangerous. The show does not give us this fact and so it’s -not- canon and it unbalances the “why” immensely in my mind. I understand why Will has a knife yes, but why would he draw it in broad daylight on an open place. Except that maybe that was -why-. Maybe that was what was in Will’s mind at that moment, taking Hannibal down in front of witnesses and then being taken down by the police or at the very least arrested. To end the hunt, right there, to give them -both- the satisfaction of Hannibal dying at Will’s hand, in a personal manner. THAT would fit imho. But Chiyoh intervenes.

Then that scene with the shot wound. Will draws Hannibal near but Hannibal does not accept. The academy should give Hugh Dancy a fucking Oscar because it’s all in this little scene where he breaks down against Hannibal’s shoulder and then pulls himself together once more right away. It’s painful to watch.

And then Hannibal drugs him against his will (once more!) saws his head open, and then he’s dragged off and transported over and hung up like meat.

And I would pay real money betting that Hannibal, always so eloquent normally, didn’t know what the fuck to say on that trip in that meat truck. Once more one of those scenes I would have loved to see, but, of course, show-wise it would have been not so clever^^.

And Will is through by the time they reach Muscrat Farm. It’s in every line of his face when Mason has them wheeled into the stable.

But so is Hannibal. THAT is his look when he looks up and -at- Will. Oh, he pulls himself together later, pushing the fun forward, a part of him definitely enjoying the madness. But that there, is rock bottom. For both.

Now, Hannibal, as I’ve said before, will have his epiphany a bit later on. And Will sees them both together in this mess, when he speaks with Alana he is -always- using “us”, not “I”. Will has already been there, in the hospital with Abigail’s ghost, has already realized he needs and then all the shit and now he’s told that people want to cut his face off to eat Hannibal with it. And he’s just… through with it. Not because his feelings have changed, but simply because he cannot take more of the shit. He’s been cut open, thrown off a train, cut open again, drugged, manipulated and then the face… brrr.

When he wakes up in Wolf Trap, the first thing he sees is the book with the calculations to try to change time. Now Hannibal left that there on purpose. It’s probably the closest Will will get to an apology. And Hannibal is very guarded when he sits down because he knows he messed up with the bone saw and the drugging. It’s in every movement in that scene, every expression on his face. They launch into metaphors there but it’s not needed, really. Just look how Hannibal does -not- want to leave.

Will lies to himself regarding the “you delight, I tolerate”. It’s one of his last vestiges, something to cling to, something to carry before him through his marriage with Molly. He does enjoy killing though, and that is what the final fight in TwotL makes chrystal clear. S4 will tell whether the fall was a suicide attempt or a ploy, I for one am firmly with the ploy and have written multiple versions of it.

Why does he reject him? He rejects Hannibal there because Hannibal can still not say it. Does not apologize. Speaks in metaphors. It’s in every interaction in the prison later on, how royally unnvered and pissed off Will is with the games Hannibal plays (remember the eye roll at “I’m not God’s fool I’m yours” when Hannibal ignores him etc etc?). Hannibal has to grow still, emotionally. And Will has to let him go for that.

And so he does. And underestimates how much he hurts himself with it.

As per the actual knowledge of emotions….

Hugh Dancy said at RDC3 that Will is aware of the fact that Hannibal loves him, even before Mizumono. But Will does not believe Hannibal to be capable of the more serene “in love” of this purity of emotion. Will is imho also aware of his own love for Hannibal, which is why he cannot treat him “normally” but treats him like a secret, something to hold close to your chest.

Loving someone does not equal being “in love”. It is both more and less than the other, the meaning quite a bit different. “In love” has more carnal intentions, an ache, a desire for the other more than “loving” has. For me what Hugh said makes sense because there is a difference in intent there. Being “in love” is a much more fragile state of mind than “just” loving someone.

Which is why Bedelia has to spell it out when it finally clicks, why Will has no apparent answer when she asks him if he feels the same. The thoughts are churning in that moment as well :)

And it’s also why I believe Mads and Hugh felt they just -had- to push the “lunge” into that direction. Look at them. Will puts his head on Hannibal’s chest, knowing, accepting and… Hannibal… Hannibal accepts this time. His expression is that of a man finally come home, emotions painful and brilliant everywhere.

And Will… Will is at peace.

(((Now that arm there in the last frame, right… That arm has no power. It was stabbed he wouldn’t have been able to pull much. Hannibal lets himself fall, and why the heck does he not hold onto Will there anymore??)))

Will will not turn on Hannibal anymore imho. He’s been there and tried that. He tried to free himself of him and it didn’t work. He’s at peace. He is Hannibal’s mirror, in his mind palace at peace.

There will be some kind of mind-fuckery (as Bryan called it^^) but I don’t think it will be Will changing his mind. I believe we will get to see Will Graham’s becoming in Season 4 - with Hannibal. However that may manifest. Or maybe as Hannibal :)))

And…. there are four settings at that table. Two other chairs and a setting for a wheelchair…. Hannibal was shot after all. Janice dropped at some point that it would be Will and Hannibal (in wheelchair) at Bedelia’s and that they would have Jack as their other … “guest”. With Hannibal in the wheelchair - I believe Will made the cut.

Opinions?^^

[mittensmorgul]

I was sitting there watching that episode and so sad for Sam and looking at Dean and thinking how he's doing ok just knowing Cass and his mom are alive and I literally yelled at the tv "Sam just needs a damn win!" and then wondered what a win is for Sam. Only thing that came to me was having Jack back (and the Lucifer protégé theory disproved) might be categorized as a win for Sam. Dean needs family. Sam needs something bigger then himself working in their favor. jmho

Well the early bit of the season paralleled Sam’s hope to rescue Mary against Dean’s hopelessness over Cas’s death. But now that Cas is back (beyond their wildest hopes– I mean even Sam believed he was perma-dead and that there was nothing more they could do to change that, but it hadn’t destroyed him the same way we saw it destroy Dean over the first five episodes of the season), but Sam’s ONE HOPE of finding a way to rescue Mary from the War World seems to have been lost now that Jack has disappeared and their single-minded drive to save Mary at all cost has apparently cost Kaia’s life in the process… well, that just piles a whole new level of guilt and hopelessness on to Sam.

Dean got his win, he got Cas back. Sam had been hopeful from 13.01 that the one thing they might potentially be able to get a win with was finding a way to save Mary. And with Kaia’s death and Jack’s disappearance, the tenuous thread of hope he’d been clinging to with both hands seemed to snap all at once.

At the beginning of the episode, we saw Sam NOT sleeping in. His clock turns from 5:59 to 6:00 am and he’s awake. It’s 8:22 am and he’s awake again when Dean knocks on his door to announce pancakes and he doesn’t answer, just rolls over. Finally at 10:00 Donna calls, and we don’t know if he’d been sleeping or not but he does hear the phone vibrate and answers…

NOT SLEEPING on Supernatural is pretty universally A Bad Sign. At the very beginning of s1 the fact that Sam was not sleeping well after Jess’s death was a plot point. Then the next time Sam wasn’t sleeping was when he was soulless after the end of s5 and in early s6 (aka 5:59-6:00?). Then toward the end of s8 (hey, like, around 8.22?) Sam was in a really rough way from the trials, practically burning himself from the inside out.

Then in s10 it wasn’t Sam who wasn’t sleeping, but Dean. Dean was a demon, and Sam was on a single-minded mission to save him, which drove Sam to some incredibly extreme measures. It was the sort of desperation and hopelessness driving him to horrific acts trying to save Dean that was reminiscent of Sam’s early s13 drive to save Mary.

And through the beginning of s13, we saw how much of Sam’s hopes to save Mary had been pinned to Jack and Jack’s powers being “trained” so that he might be able to purposely reopen the rift.

Sam’s words in that last BM scene in 13.11 (beautifully presented here in gif format), “Everything I’m saying is the truth. It’s our lives. And I tried to pretend it didn’t have to be, I tried to pretend we could have Mom back, and Cas, and help Jack, but we can’t.” It just sounds so Dean.

Dean in 13.03:

Patience: I talked to my Dad. He thinks I should put it away. Dad says we should just get back to normal. Maybe he’s right.Dean: He is. This life – hunting, monsters – there’s no joy in it. There’s nothing but pain, horror, and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.

and

SAM: No, Dean. He’s messed up because of you. Dean, you said you’d kill him.DEAN: It wasn’t exactly like that.SAM: Then how exactly was it?DEAN: I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad.

and

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack! DEAN: And what about Cas?SAM: What about Cas?DEAN: He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

Then we had basically all of 13.04 to underscore their feelings, leading up to:

Sam: What if you’re right? About Mom. What if she is dead, and I’m just in denial?Dean: Don’t say that.Sam: What? You’ve been wanting me to admit that since it happened.Dean: I know I have, but don’t say that. I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.

And 13.05 drives Dean to his darkest point, while Sam desperately tried everything to help Dean move past his grief:

Dean: I’m fine.Sam: No, you’re not, Dean. You said you don’t believe in anything, and – and that’s… that’s not true. That’s not you. You – you – you do believe in things. You believe in people. That’s who you are. That’s what you do. I know you’re in a dark place, and I-I just want to help.Dean: Okay. Look, I-I’ve been down this road before. I fought my way back. I will fight my way back again.

And this was shortly before Dean essentially resigned himself to his own death. 

Billie: You’ve changed. When you bargained with me just now, you could’ve asked to go back, to live.Dean: Well, I figured with you in charge, there’s no getting back for me.Billie: That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, they guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t, you can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong?Dean: What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.Billie: Don’t you?Dean: I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not going to beg. Okay, if it’s my time, it’s my time.Billie: You really believe that. [Dean shakes his head yes] You wanna die. Dean…every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how you die. You specifically, heart attack, burned by a red-haired witch, stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard, and on and on. But which ones right? That depends on you, on the choices you make.Dean: Well, I guess I made my choice. Billie: But…unfortunately none of these books say you die today.

And ALL of this is so reminiscent of Dean during s7– the Dean that Frank told to essentially suck it up, put on a smile and be professional, or don’t do it at all. And the Dean that Bobby gave the “you’re talking like one of the dead ones” speech to in 7.09. When essentially, to use s13′s opening montage song title, “Nothing Else Matters.”

Sam: You okay?Dean: No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay. You know, my whole life, I always believed that what we do was important. No matter what the cost, no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad or – or Bobby or –. And I would take the hit. But I kept on fighting because I believed that we were making the world a better place. And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.Sam: So now you don’t believe anymore.Dean: I just need a win. I just need a damn win.

*cue Dean’s win*

And now in 13.11, Dean even lampshades the fact that Sam had done his best to keep Dean going through most of the first half of the season:

Dean: You got up at 10 a.m. this morning. 10 a.m. You. Mr. Rise and Freakin’ Shine. And then you turn down pancakes.Sam: I wasn’t hungry.Dean: They’re pancakes. Y – Look, I know you’re in a dark place right now, okay? I mean we lost Jack and Mom is… I think about 'em, too. All the time. But you can’t let it eat you up. Now look when I was – when I was broken up, you were there for me. Well I’m here for you now. And I’m telling ya, the only way out of this is through. Now when everything goes to hell, what do we do? We put out heads down and do the work. We’ll find Jack. We’ll save Mom, we will. But right now, Donna needs our help.

The thing is, even when Dean is at his most nihilistic, he still cares about other people. He reacts differently to this sort of grief and depression than Sam does. Dean’s go-to is to “put his head down and do the work.” When “the work” is all he feels he has left (and even when he’s doing it in a blatantly self-destructive way like in 13.05, or even back in s3 after he’d sold his soul).

Dean’s “go down swinging” is blatantly different to Sam’s “it ends bad.” Their depression and grief manifests differently, because they’re different people, you know?

And right now, to quote Bobby in 7.09, Sam’s looking like he’s got a case of the Anne Sextons.

Sam needs a mission, he needs something to put his hope in. Back when he’s maintained a grim-but-hopeful outlook, or when he’s managed to maintain his drive to continue hunting in any way whatsoever, he always had a larger mission to focus on– Saving Dean from going to Hell, stopping the apocalypse, closing the gates of Hell, saving Dean from the Mark of Cain, saving the universe from the Darkness… but what’s his mission now?

All Sam’s got left is the impossible hope of finding a way to save Mary, and the one key to that door is now locked on the wrong side of it… To Sam right now, he’s lost both missions that had sustained him for the first half of s13. Dean doesn’t need him to keep hope alive for the both of them anymore because Dean got his win (confirmed to Sam in 13.06), and with Jack gone he has no hope of being able to reach Mary, either.

So what does Sam have left now?

Even Dean at his most hopeless back in 13.03 was able to put aside his own hopelessness to go help Missouri and Jody without a second thought. Again when Donna asked for their help in 13.11, Dean didn’t need to be asked twice, or even told exactly what was wrong. A friend needed him, especially a friend he considers family, he was there. No questions asked.

Sam, though… in 13.03 he pawned off Missouri’s plea for help onto Jody because he’d one-tracked his focus on gaining Jack’s help in reaching Mary. And in 13.11 Sam was putting up every excuse to back out of the case– 

Sam: This isn’t even our kind of case. And you know, with the real feds here? We should back down.Dean: You’re joking, right?Sam: We’re still fugitives.Dean: They think we’re dead.Sam: Do you really want to get on the FBI’s radar again?Dean: Okay, so what do you wanna do? Hmm? You wanna call up Donna and say, ”Hey, sorry about your niece. These kinds of things happen. Later!” and then head back to the bunker so you can mope some more?

And then after the whole speech about Dean being there for Sam now…

Sam: Okay, look. (contrite sighing) Obviously, I’m here for Donna. All right? I wanna help.Dean: I know you do. So, let’s find the son of a bitch.

And then Doug choosing to stay out of the hunting life after learning about monsters only seemed to confirm to Sam that people are better off staying far away from him and the life in general.

All of this seems to be setting Sam up for something as desperate and terrifying as Dean’s emotional nadir in 13.05, and I am Concerned™ for Sam Fucking Winchester.