#yes i know jojo said ray was bi but SHRUG

[khaotunq]

TYPECAST: Khaotung Thanawat edition

[violetwolfraven]

A sudden revelation came to me : the big twin besties!!! Davey Sarah Mike Ike would be chaos if they’re together but that is okay bcs we love them. That is all thank you💕

They would!! I’m gonna do them in modern AU, so I hope that’s okay, Rai!!

This is going to be pure chaos. Nothing else. Literally no part of this is serious. It’s just pure dumbassery among friends.

Also Les definitely does dance competitions. He goes to the same studio as Race. He competes in a mini division and he does tap and hip hop and his group wins. Fight me.

Tw: swearing.

...

“Davey, pop the popcorn faster!” Sarah hollered from the living room.

“Sarah, shut the fuck up!” Davey hollered back. He loved his sister, but she annoyed the hell out of him.

Well, Les did, too. He guessed it was a sibling thing in general, but there was something about knowing someone since before birth that gave you a special ability to get on their nerves.

Plus, it wasn’t like he could make the microwave work any faster.

“What are we watching tonight?” he called while he waited.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Sarah shouted indignantly.

At the same time, Mike yelled, “We’re binge-watchin’ Liv and Maddie!”

“Oh, of course! That’s so fuckin’ obvious!” Davey shook his head, wishing he could stop himself from smiling as he muttered to himself, “We’re such huge fucking dorks.”

They were, of course, watching Liv and Maddie because they were two sets of twins left alone in a house for the night, and that tv show was about a pair of twins. The Jacobs parents were taking Les to a dance competition and the Guzman parents were going to a wedding.

Honestly, Davey was pretty sure they’d left them all together because out of the four of them, Sarah was the only good cook, Mike was the only good driver, Ike was the one who knew how to operate a can opener, and Davey was the one with common sense. Together, they formed a fully-functional teenager.

Also, they all already had partners, so the parents trusted them to be left alone all night together, unlike when Sarah and Ike asked if they could have Jojo, Hotshot, Katherine, and Jack over, too.

Davey heard the TV start up and silently willed the microwave to work faster.

“Ya can’t start without Davey, Sar—“

“Ike, I don’t know how to break this to ya, but I don’t give a shit.”

Honestly, Davey had expected that, “Thanks for tryin’, Ike!”

“No problem, Dave!”

The popcorn finally finished popping, and Davey grabbed the huge bag of M&Ms on the way out of the kitchen with it before going to join his sister and friends in watching Liv and Maddie’s shenanigans.

Ah yes. The ultimate twin night. Admittedly, the feral energy of all four of them was better than it would’ve been if it was just him and Sarah.

And Ike was smirking at his phone, which of course meant Davey had to tease him.

“Textin’ Hotshot, huh?” he asked, poking him in the shoulder.

Ike batted his hand away, “Shut up.”

Mike laughed, “Ooh, that means there’s somethin’ to hide.”

Sarah slung an arm around his shoulders, “Are you gonna fight? Cause I honestly can’t decide who’d win.”

“Nope,” Davey said automatically, “Can’t do that. We can’t have any death matches destroying the living room or our folks will never let us do this again.”

“I guess the blood would ruin your carpet.”

“Well, Mikey, it’s not like I don’t know how to get blood out of things.”

“Why—oh. Okay.”

Sarah laughed maniacally at the look on his face. It wasn’t that he looked grossed out or anything, just kind of surprised to be thinking about it.

Davey was pretty familiar with having to grab spare pads from the hall closet if the bathroom ran out and tagging along on milkshake runs during Sarah’s time of month, but he guessed a boy without sisters wouldn’t have to think about that kind of thing.

“So, how are things with Hotshot?” he asked, changing the subject.

Ike shrugged, “Good. How’s Jack?”

“He’s over here like, all the time,” Sarah said, rolling her eyes, “Or Davey’s over there. It’s cute in a gross way.”

“Fight me, Sarah. You’re the same way with Katherine.”

“Bitch—“

“Stuff with Jojo is good, by the way,” Mike chimed in, “God, I love him.”

“We get it, you’re cute, now shut up.”

Sarah swatted him, “That’s not very nice, Isaac.”

“Yeah, those are bold words from someone who’s baby pictures I have access to,” Mike agreed.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me, bitch.”

“Again, we can’t have a death match without destroying stuff,” Davey reminded them, “So can we just kick back and watch our show?”

Ike butted his head against Davey’s shoulder like a cat affectionately, “We should skip forward a couple seasons so we can watch Liv and Holden break up and cry.”

“No,” Sarah said immediately, “My eyeliner looks really good today.”

“You’re at a sleepover,” Davey pointed out, “Why did you even do your eyeliner?”

“David, I swear to God.”

“You swear to God what?”

“Don’t listen to him,” Mike said, reaching over to hug her, “You look fuckin’ amazing and you and Kathy usually make the rest of us look like slobs.”

“Aw, thanks Michael.”

“Don’t call me Michael.”

They actually managed to watch about half the episode without talking, before Ike shattered the silence.

“Okay, but do we think Joey’s gay?”

“I think Willow’s obsession with him is creepy and it’s super questionable how the writers played it off for laughs,” Mike admitted, “I think Joey does like girls, though. He has chemistry with a few different girls for like one episode each.”

“But he definitely has a thing for Josh in the later seasons,” Sarah pointed out.

“Oh, yeah. Good point. Maybe he’s bi or pan.”

Davey had never thought he’d have a conversation like this, but he had to admit they had a point.

“Maddie and Willow would’ve made a cute couple,” he said, “Maddie can’t drive. That alone is proof she’s not straight. And Liv had chemistry with Holden, but she would’ve been cute with Andie, too.”

“Oh, preach, bro,” Ike agreed, “And I think one of my first crushes when I was in middle school was actually on Parker from Liv and Maddie, so...”

“Parker’s bi and ace,” Mike said immediately, “I’m callin’ it. I don’t even need any evidence; just by vibes. He’s just this bi-ace mad scientist.”

“But seriously,” Sarah insisted, “Joey had a thing for Josh and I think it was requited.”

Davey rolled his eyes, “Duh. Was that ever up for debate after that one episode where the only thing that made Josh feel better about his breakup with Maddie was Joey?”

“So in short, none of the Rooney siblings are straight,” Mike concluded.

“Yup.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yes.”

Davey smirked, “Kinda like how none of the siblings in this room are straight.”

“Aw,” Mike grinned, “Are you sayin’ you sees Ike and I as siblings?”

“More like we’re all in a cult and we call each other siblings, Brother Mike.”

“Oh yes of course, Brother Davey.”

“You’re both ridiculous.”

“Are you actin’ like you have custody of the brain cell, Sister Sarah?”

“No, of course not, Brother Ike. Brother Davey has it. He just never uses it.”

“I use the brain cell frequently, thank you very much,” Davey said indignantly, “Just not in conversations with people who don’t even have one.”

“Oh, burn!” Ike shouted, and Davey accepted a high five.

It looked like Sarah didn’t have anything to say to that. Probably because she didn’t have the brain cell.

Whatever. If the Rooney siblings could survive with only one brain cell, which the youngest sibling always had, Davey was pretty sure the four of them could, too.

...

This probably makes no sense if you’ve never seen Liv and Maddie. I’m sorry.