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avacoleman · 3 days ago

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all i wanted (was you) || a firstprince fic

summary: It’s been nearly a decade since exes Henry and Alex have last seen or heard from each other. After one unexpected night of reuniting thanks to the meddling of their mutual friend, the pair find that neither time nor circumstance can stop their flame from rekindling. With the complications of Henry’s marriage to another man and his scheduled return to London looming, the two must navigate life’s difficulties as they grapple with what a possible future could mean for them.

chapter 8/9 || rated e || read on ao3

Mondays are undoubtedly the bane of anyone’s existence, but Alex thinks he has special reason to dislike this one in particular.

It marks the one week mark until Henry boards a flight back to London, subsequently calling an end to their whirlwind this past month and a half. The uncertainty of what they are to each other gnaws at him. Perhaps it would be fair to call him a homewrecker or the other man, but in searching his heart, Alex can’t truly say he feels any guilt or shame in his behavior since crossing paths with Henry.

If anything, he would argue he might have done Henry a favor in helping to see just how much of himself he’s been hiding away over the last two years. He’s been showing Henry what it feels like to be prioritized and wanted. He’s been freeing Henry of the insecurities he’s been internalizing from a marriage with a man that fails to see his worth.

Alex can admit his methods weren’t exactly virtuous, but the outcome– in both his mind and heart– were worthwhile.

Alex settles in on the couch with a few files for a client he’s meeting with later this week. The late hour probably wouldn’t work for most to go diving into a case, but Alex has long since found he does his best thinking at night. Besides, his next best option would be to call on Henry but he knows better than to do so. As much as he hates it, he knows Daniel is there with Henry.

Alex can’t help the memories that flood him of the last time he was at Henry’s place, how easy it was for them to get lost in each other.

It’s suffocating to think of Daniel in his place, having open access to Henry. Alex’s time with Henry is already so limited. The fact that he has to share any of these final days crushes him. Distractions like work help fill the void.

Alex slips on his glasses and opens the first folder, his notepad and pen poised at the ready. He’s only able to get three lines in when there’s a hurried series of knocks on the door.

Alex rushes to the foyer, turning on the light to the front door. He peers through the peephole to find an anxious looking Henry on the other side. He quickly unlocks the door and swings it open.

Henry audibly exhales the second he sees him. Alex tries and fails not to be affected by that.

“Not that I’m not glad to see you, but what’s going on?” he asks, searching Henry’s eyes. They’re tinged red and a bit erratic; Alex can see he’s been crying but oddly enough, he doesn’t look sad at all.

Henry opens and closes his mouth. Though he’s clearly unsure what to say, there’s something about his overall demeanor that contradicts it.

“I needed to see you. May I come in?”

“Of course.”

Alex steps back, his eyes still casting about as he lets Henry inside.

“You look different somehow,” Alex says, unable to drop the matter as they stand in the foyer.

Henry seems taken aback by this.

“Do I? How so?”

Alex studies him, attempting to pinpoint what it is exactly but coming up short.

“I’m not really sure. It’s not a bad different, at least. It’s just…I don’t know,” he says, continuing to read Henry’s face. “Something feels like it changed.”

Henry laughs and shakes his head incredulously.

“I didn’t realize just how attuned you are to me,” he says quietly, almost to himself. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Alex’s stomach lurches, unsure how to gauge what’s happening.

Henry takes Alex’s hands in his.

“Should I be worried?” Alex asks.

Henry shakes his head but his eyes grow misty.

“No, this is a good conversation. Important and serious, but good. Very good. Great, even. I promise.”

Alex breathes a little easier at the reassurance. He brings them over to the living room, pushing aside his files to free up the couch.

“I’m sorry to barge in like this,” Henry says, glancing at the documents Alex redistributes to the coffee table.

“It’s okay; forget about that,” he says, waving a dismissive hand at his papers. “What’s going on, Hen?”

Henry takes a seat, his shoulders squaring.

“As you know, I go back home next week, but I need to tell you outright that it won’t be permanent.”

Alex blinks twice, unsure of if he’s heard Henry correctly.

“Wait, what?”

Henry licks his lips and breathes out.

“I plan on moving to the States. To New York, more specifically.”

Alex shakes his head.

“I don’t understand.”

More accurately, Alex is still afraid of latching onto hope. There’s far too much at stake here if he allows himself to go all in on what he’s feeling without a guarantee that he and Henry walk into a future together.

Henry takes Alex’s hands in his with such urgency. Alex notes the rise and fall of the other man’s chest. It’s been a while since he’s seen Henry this worked up. For a moment, he thinks to tell him to take a breath, but Henry continues speaking.

“I’m so grateful you were there that night of the gala, that we had a chance to see each other again and reconnect. It felt just like it did eight years ago, but better somehow. I know now how to truly appreciate this connection we have.”

Henry sighs.

“What I feel for you could fill the ocean that’s kept us apart all these years. I am so incredibly in love with you, Alex. Some days I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever been certain of since the day I met you.”

Alex hardly dares to breathe. Henry’s face is pale but there’s a fire in his eyes as he speaks.

“Daniel and I are done. I mean, officially. I broke it off with him just now. I told him the truth, that I’ve been very unhappy in our relationship and that I’m not in love with him…that I haven’t been for some time now but kept at it because I truly wanted it to work. It was a difficult and rather heated conversation, but this marriage has run its course. It did quite some time ago.”

Henry pauses. Alex is glad for the break. His head is spinning with this wave of new information. It feels more like a fever dream than real life.

“And I told him about you…about us. I swear, I’ve never felt more like myself than when I’m with you. Just seeing you again that night sparked something inside me I thought I’d long since lost.”

Henry wipes his eyes.

“I’ve always been yours. Even during the years when we were apart, my heart has always been with you, Alex. God. I’m sorry it took me so long to come around on that. I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could get us that time back”

Alex shakes his head again, his eyes swimming with tears that quickly fall. He takes Henry’s face in his hands.

“It’s okay. Point is, you got there and we’re here together now. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I just want you to be happy, Henry. Whatever that might look like.”

“It looks like a future with you,” Henry says immediately. “I'm happiest when we’re together. That’s always been the case.” He lets out a breath. “It’s going to be a bit of a rough stretch to go through the whole divorce process, but it’s beyond time to finish with that chapter. I want to get to the good part of my life where I can spend every day freely being yours.”

“I’ll be here, whatever you need.”

“Just keep loving me.”

Alex smiles.

“Haven’t stopped since the day I met you. That’s not changing. Ever.”

Henry’s face grows soft as he searches Alex’s eyes.

“I’ve asked so much of you already, but I have one more request.”

“What is it?”

“I know it’s contradictory given how this past month has gone for us, but I really would like it if we could take our time with this. I want a true relationship with you…for us to continue getting to know each other again. I want to fully invest in us. I want to take you on proper dates and trips. I want you outside the four walls of our rooms and out in the world. I want…Alex, I want it all with you.”

A rush of warmth spreads in Alex’s chest.

“Are you saying you want to court me?”

Henry laughs, wiping at his eyes.

“Yes, that’s exactly it, actually. I promised you I’d get it right this time. I’m not taking any chances.”

“I’m already yours, H.”

Henry shakes his head.

“Doesn’t make you any less deserving of the time or effort. You’ve been so unbelievably patient, my love. Not just this month, but for years.”

Henry’s focus is so fixed on him, Alex can only stare back.

“I love the person I am because of you.”

“Baby.” Alex shakes his head in disbelief, not even sure what to say.

He answers in action, lunging forward and kissing Henry deeply, his hands framing Henry’s face. He feels Henry’s arms encircle his waist and Alex presses himself flush up against Henry’s sturdy frame.

“I love you so much,” Henry murmurs.

“I love you too. I always will.”

They’re words Alex has spoken hundreds, if not thousands of times but it seems Henry truly needed to hear it stated plainly now. The man’s eyes close, his shoulders relaxing. Alex hadn’t even realized just how tightly wound Henry’s been over this.

Alex repeats those three words again and again, once against Henry’s cheek and then against the corner of Henry’s mouth right before kissing him.

Henry cups Alex’s face, his thumb brushing back and forth across Alex’s cheek. It’s so tender it makes Alex’s heartbeat quicken. The full scope hits Alex all at once, his brain truly processing Henry’s decision tonight.

He thinks of the hell Mary will undoubtedly raise when Henry discloses the news to his family. He thinks of the online firestorm that will certainly come about, strangers and reporters doing an autopsy on Henry’s marriage as if they’re somehow experts on something they know nothing about.

Most of all though, Alex remarks at the strength and courage Henry possesses for being so willing to face it all. He couldn’t love or admire him more.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Hen,” he murmurs.

“Thank you, darling. I’m not sure if I could have done this without you.”

Alex sighs softly and tilts his chin up. Henry doesn’t hesitate, leaning in immediately to ensnare Alex’s lips with his own. Alex’s fingers comb through Henry’s hair, gripping firmly. He gets lost in the kiss and feels Henry doing the same.

“Can we go upstairs?” Henry asks softly against his mouth a few moments later.

Alex nods and leads the way, the two staying close the entire while to Alex’s bedroom.

Henry lowers him back against the bed, an almost reverent look in his eyes. Alex is certain he’s mirroring it back. This feels nothing short of dreamlike. Alex doesn’t want to miss a second of it. He studies everything about Henry’s face, the openness of his expression. Henry has made himself so vulnerable this evening. Alex can only relish in it.

He shivers as Henry’s palm runs down the length of his torso, a desperate moan pouring out as Henry’s hand settles between his legs where Alex has been eager to feel him most.

Their eyes find each other’s. Alex slips a hand in Henry’s hair, fingers tightly winding around the blond strands as his mouth falls open a breathless moan.

Henry palms him harder over the material of his sweats before slipping his hand past the band of Alex’s boxer briefs and one glorious moment later, he takes Alex in hand. Alex bites back on his lower lip almost painfully but it does nothing to truly quiet the sound Henry’s touch claws out of him.

Henry’s gaze is unrelenting, even as he busies himself with stroking Alex in earnest. Alex shifts his hip and stares back, his body trembling.

Alex lowers his hand too and touches Henry’s wrist, his fingertips feeling the way Henry’s pulse steadily quickens as they share in this moment.

He leans forward and kisses Henry hungrily, so deeply aroused by Henry’s ministrations, especially as Henry’s thumb encircles his slick tip.

Alex chokes out a ragged breath and rolls his hips forward, craving more. Henry drops one quick peck on Alex’s mouth before removing his hand. Alex misses the feel, but he knows something even better is just moments away.

Henry makes quick work of undressing them both and though they’ve spent a good portion of the last six weeks being intimate, Henry looks at him almost like it’s the first time he’s seeing him. Alex surprises himself with feeling a bit bashful. His face warms and Henry just smiles before leaning in and kissing the tip of his nose.

“Sexy and adorable in the same breath,” Henry says. “The duality of man.”

Alex laughs and shushes him. Henry smiles and gently nibbles at the side of Alex’s neck, sharp teeth sinking in only for his tongue to soothe the bites a beat later. It’s almost enough to distract Alex from the hand gliding back down to his cock.

Alex shivers hard, turning his face away as Henry sets a steady pace in jerking him off. He rolls his hips forward into Henry’s tight fist as Henry’s lips journey across his clavicle, peppering his skin with more soft kisses. It leaves Alex in a daze, his body so responsive and desperate for Henry’s touch.

Henry’s mouth descends, making its way to Alex’s chest. Henry’s eyes flicker to Alex’s before he swirls a tongue over one of Alex’s nipples. Alex’s breath hitches at the attention Henry pays to his chest. He can feel himself shamelessly leaking even more. Henry kisses down his torso, nipping and licking his hot skin.

Alex spreads his legs, hands resting on his knees as Henry levels off at his hips. Henry lays flat, settling between Alex’s thighs. Alex wants nothing more than for him to feast.

Henry peppers Alex’s inner thighs with kisses and each one feels like a tiny spark giving way to an inevitable fire. Alex feels like he’s floating.

“God, Henry. What are you doing to me?” he whispers, his mind completely muddled.

“I just want to make you feel good.”

Alex shivers.

“I’m not sure you’re capable of anything else.”

Henry smirks and Alex is rewarded with a drag of Henry’s tongue around the head of his cock before he sucks softly.

Alex’s hand balls into a fist, grasping desperately at the sheets.

Henry steadily takes in more of him and it’s all Alex can do but to watch in awe as, inch by inch, his cock disappears in Henry’s mouth.

He gets to have this fully now, no countdown clock above their heads, no more stolen, temporary moments.

Alex’s nails scratch lightly at Henry’s scalp as Henry detaches himself, his lips ghosting Alex’s inner thighs once more.

Henry takes him in hand, slowly stroking as his tongue laps at Alex’s entrance instead. Alex grunts, his grip on Henry’s hair tightening. Seemingly pleased with the reaction, Henry does it again, slower this time before slipping his tongue fully into Alex.

Alex squirms against the bed, swallowing hard to coat his dry throat. Henry isn’t rushing a single second and the focused attention to detail is so deeply arousing, Alex thinks he could come from this alone.

Henry’s tongue is unrelenting and curious as it explores Alex thoroughly. Alex’s eyes water, his breathing growing complicated as he tries to steady himself.

It’s not long before Henry picks up on Alex’s readiness. He helps himself to Alex’s nightstand for lube and coats his fingers and Alex’s rim before sliding a digit home inside Alex.

“That feels so damn good,” Alex slurs, bucking his hips.

“You feel so good. So nice and tight, I can’t get enough of your ass,” Henry laughs, adding a second finger and curling them.

Alex stifles a moan and smirks.

“Fuck it then. It’s yours,” he challenges.

Henry’s eyes flicker with hunger.

“The mouth on you sometimes, I swear.”

“As if you aren’t obsessed.”

Alex laughs though it quickly cuts off into whimper as Henry teases his prostate. Henry’s tongue and fingers work him over, effectively shutting down any attempts to speak again just then.

Alex thinks of that very first night where they’d crossed the line together right here in Alex’s home.

I want to be yours, Henry had said. And here it was now, the two coming full circle. They’d get to have each other forever because there isn’t a world in which either of them would ever let the other go again.

Henry drops a kiss at Alex’s hip and settles up on his knees, gazing down at Alex. Alex peers back at him, outstretching his hand and wrapping it around Henry’s shaft. Alex watches greedily for Henry’s reaction. It’s instant; Henry’s eyes roll shut, his head lobbing back as he fucks into Alex’s fist. Alex gives him a few strong pumps before his hunger becomes too much.

“I’m ready for you,” he says.

Henry doesn’t hesitate. He aligns himself, gripping Alex’s hips as he begins to fill him. Alex shudders hard, his back arching as Henry sinks into him and rolls his hips slowly. Alex feels overcome with want, with a need for more.

Connected as always, Henry seems to recognize this. He rocks harder over Alex, diving in deeper with each new thrust. Alex’s breaths come out soft and staggered as he bucks forward to match Henry’s faster pace. The room fills with the sound of skin pounding against skin.

“Fuck, Hen,” he rasps, hands running down Henry’s back and to hips where he holds on bruisingly tight.

Henry merely fucks him harder in response, eyes locked in on Alex as he takes every inch dutifully.

It’s just as Alex wants it.

Alex buries his face in the side of Henry’s neck, biting and sucking his skin. For months he’s been dying to mark him, to leave evidence of his desire on Henry’s skin, showing the world who he belongs to.

His dull nails scratch up Henry’s back, earning an unabashed moan from Henry.

Alex turns over and positions himself on his knees, his hands gripping the headboard, back arching.

Behind him, Henry curses under his breath before mounting him, one arm securing around Alex’s waist before his cock pushes in once more.

This new angle fuels the fire that’s already been burning inside Alex.

He looks down and watches as Henry begins to jerk him off, his large hand sliding and squeezing his shaft. Alex knows he won’t last much longer but he staves off his orgasm a little bit longer to savor this feeling.

“You’re taking it so well, love,” Henry murmurs against his ear. Alex whimpers, his resolving slipping faster than sand through fingers.

“Let it out for me, darling. Just for me.”

Alex comes hard at that, hands trembling against the headboard before he abandons the effort to hold on altogether. Henry is there to catch him, holding Alex flush up against him as his hand continues to pump, eking every last drop, making an absolute mess of the sheets below.

Alex keeps rolling his hips backwards, keen on getting Henry to reach his end too.

He turns his head slightly, seeking out Henry’s lips. It’s more so heavy breathing against the man’s mouth, but neither of them seems to care. Alex clenches rhythmically around Henry’s length, egging him on.

Henry comes and Alex whimpers softly at the warmth of filling him, the even easier slide of Henry’s cock inside him. Alex rides Henry, driven by an overwhelming need to carry Henry through to the very end.

When they’ve both come down off their highs, Henry rubs at Alex’s hip, thumb softly smoothing his skin. It’s such a tender move, in complete contrast to what they’ve just exchanged. Alex is never not in awe of the balance they always seem to strike.

Alex kisses him, exhaling softly against Henry’s lips as he slowly pulls out. Alex twists to face Henry completely, kissing him in earnest. Henry’s hands trail down Alex’s body and to his ass, gently gripping. Alex stirs against the bed at Henry’s touch, still so full of his release.

Alex rests his forehead against Henry's, taking a second to catch his breath and fully absorb this moment.

This feels different. He knows it truly is. They’ve made it out of the storm together.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

Henry looks at him, fingertips trailing along Alex’s jaw.

“No. Thank you, Alex. Thank you for not giving up on us, for giving me time to get things in order…for still loving me and wanting me through it all. I know this hasn’t been easy and there were moments where this didn’t feel like a guarantee. But you believed in us enough to still have faith.”

Henry shakes his head, fingers still stroking Alex’s skin.

“I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.”

Alex tilts his head and places a kiss on Henry’s palm.

“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out. Lucky for me too,” Alex tacks on quietly. “I’ll miss you when you’re gone next week, but it feels good knowing it’s temporary.”

Alex pauses for a moment. “But…if you ever changed your mind though…if, while going through this, you think you might need more time or to…experience other people…,” he starts to say, needing to put it out there though it pains him to say.

So much time has been lost for Henry. A small part of Alex worries he could be robbing more of it.

Henry sits up at once and shakes his head firmly, searching Alex’s eyes. He looks downright offended.

“Absolutely not. There is literally no one else, Alex. I don’t need anything more than this right here. I don’t want anything else,” he says. “A lot is going to change for me, yes, but never the way I feel about you, about us. I knew it from the first day we met and I’ll die knowing it. Every road will always lead me back here to you.”