#yes i know zoyas canonically a tea person

[mercutiotakethewheel]

denya are the only ones who can drink out of their partners cup without screaming “ive been poisoned 🤢 oh my god”

[tricewithaz]

Can I please get some Zoyalai kids headcannons

Not sure if you mean Zoyalai's own kids or zoyalai with kids but in any case i have opinions lmao

When it comes to the former refer to this, i participated in a lot of it lmao, but i will probably also add onto it

so here we go i guess

both of them are very good with kids in different ways

essentially nikolai is the Cool Older Guy™ who all the kids want to be friends with and look up to, older children (like, tweens) have crushes on him and the smaller ones love to play with him

zoya on the other side is the reliable authority. She is severe and the kids are lowkey scared of her but they also know she will protect them and be patient with them

Oh yeah zoya aside from her royal palace duties teaches the young etherealki. she could... not do it.... but she chooses to

and nikolai sometimes gets around their classes, and even their rooms (ill ellaborate dont worry)

contrary to what she may say, zoya *likes* kids, and knows how to handle them.

Shes normally the one to make them feel better if theres something wrong. Maybe make them a tea, cuddle them when they cry. With a bit of tough love if what happened was their fault of course.

Nikolai teaches the kids to swordfight if the chance arises. Hes surprisingly good at it.

And he reads to them!!! sometimes in the library, somwtimes in their common rooms with all the kids coddled up around one bed.

Hes an avid storyteller by himself too, and he is known to be a war hero and to have lived many adventures, so the kids always ask him about them and he tells all his tales passionately and interactively. Sometimes props are included.

Zoya always intervenes "that didnt happen like that" "excuse you what about the commander that literally saved his majestys life" "oh you mean when alina starkov rejected you.... thrice"

He also tells his tales as Capitain Sturmhond, theyre always mesmerized and somw of them find aspirstions to be pirates privateers

Theres a lot of bantering, a lot of kids pick up on their tension. they gossip about it. Others are a bit less discreet and directly ask them about it.

And they ask a lot about Sankta Alina. Nikolai is very epic about it, Zoya tells them shit like how it was. "she was small and stupid enough to reject a kings marriage proposal", thats normally the end of it.

No one knows how she does it but zoya is able to shut a kid up immedistely, children, toddlers and even babies.

Shese never one to play with kids. they try but they end uo just sitting around her in silence, maybe drawing or just observing her.

NIKOLAI THO, listen he gives them toys, and jumps them around. If he doesnt have a kid on his arm or his shoulders then hes probably hifing from them, getting chased or fake dying (dramatically). At the orphanage Mal and him make the perfect play buddies, a lot of the times theyre capitains of different teams and really play out their rivalry (and they hit where it hurts. "thats for kissing my wife" mal says stepping on nikolais chest with a wooden sword up to his neck) . Zoya and Alina wonder where they get that energy from.

Theres a particular little girl that always calls nikolai "mister majesty", zoya insists in how its incorrect and inappropriate but nikolai just lets her call him whatever she wants.

Listen both zoya and nikolai get serious marriage propositions from like 7 year olds. with flowers and sometimes even diy rings and all. its cute 😔

I think Nikolai always wanted to be a dad but never feels ready for it really.

Hes all "love kids but i can barely take care of myself how am i supposed to care for a whole another human being"

Zoya says she likes kids only 10 metres away from her.

But whenever they see a cute kid something blooms in their chests cause theyre so tiNY

goes without saying but the YEARNIBG when they see each other with kids..... its intense

But when they DO have their own kids 🥺🥺🥺

as i said, the kind of people that "look how the fuck am i gonna take care of children i can barely support myself and a country absolutely fucking not"

they end up with three. THREE.

I imagine the first one with her hair and his nose, same eye color as his, but she also has The Glare™

Shes sweet but ever since shes born she has an attitude like she takes no shit. What do you mean peas arent illegal. father, peas need to be made illegal. immediately. shes so serioys about the things she cares for. She grows into a very competent leader. Nikolai of course plays along. He makes everyone play along. He will kick someone out of the wsr room if the little girl finds then somewhat scary.

(Theres lots about the kids actual like personalities and shit on the post i linked so go read that if youre interested)

Nikolai is a sweet dad, spoils the kids just a bit and hell be the understanding one if conflict ensues. Hes the one to calm them down and convince them to say sorry if necessary.

They always come to him first if theyre sad, but go to zoya if theyre hurt. Depending on the topic both are the advice parent.

Zoya is the severe parent, shes always the one to tell the kids off. But shes also the one to stand up for them against anything, including Nikolai if necessary. She treats them with fairness.

Of course if the children ask for bedtime stories hell give in, he loves to see them fascinated by their dads adventures. Zoya adores it too.

Hes also the paranoid parent. Your knee is bleeding? oh saints, hell bleed to death, must be so painful. A bit of a headsche? thats it, ill bury my daughter. Its ironic considering he spent his childhood scraping his knees and elboys, climbing trees and fighting other boys.

BUT, hes also the trusting one. When the kids grow up a bit and get in bigger conflicts and even scape off into the city, Zoya gets so nervous and angry about it but precisely cause Nikolais childhood was so hectic hes the one to trust their judgement and let them fail, he will also give them useful advice.

Essentially, zoya is the abstinence parent, nikolai is the condom parent. Shell be the first to warn them of all the horrible outcomes of them doing anything slightly wrong.

Just.... imagine nikolai sleeping with a little baby on his chest.... just do it.....

The kids have his dimples!!!! (no this is not in the book yes this is canon) Especially after theyre just born (cause,,, hormones ya know) zoya prsctically cries about it.

But also theyve all got her eyebrows and with her eyebrows come the deadly glare. Especially their eldest daughter but the other two can manage it too. Its scary when they all look at nikolai the same way at the same time.

But they also have his smile 🥺🥺

okay i think thats all im hungry and my brain wont work anymore xoxo

[ariesmode]

*tea emoji* for zoyalai?

not 2 be dramatic but i literally had to think about what to talk about bc otherwise i’d spend the whole day writing an essay no one wants to read complete w/ citations from the books so 

i mean everyone’s interpretation of canon obv varies and that’s fine but i really don’t get why people still claim that this ship came out of nowhere / is forced bc there were some pretty subtle hints back in ruin & rising + even in crooked kingdom. like, sturmhond didn’t have to defend zoya when kaz was skeptical of her ability to bring kuwei back to life but he just had to didn’t he!!! (we know she probably didn’t give a shit that some punk would doubt her abilities) also there’s the fact that in the time that’s lapsed between the trilogy + kos, they’d have spent a lot of time working closely together. so they def know e/o pretty well already after nearly three (3) years and are comfortable enough to banter. one of my hopes and dreams for the sequel is that we eventually get to see how their relationship progressed from just being allies to zoya becoming his general bc we were just introduced to the fact that nikolai is the #1 zoya nazyalensky stan (not that i’m complaining about that but still) and that she thinks he’s pretty neat as far as lantsovs go. you can tell that their feelings really are based on mutual respect and trust rather than physical attraction (even though they both pretty much acknowledge that the other is hot it’s like, yeah everyone else knows that anyway) 

and i just love how they’re the only ones who can really handle each other like... zoya isn’t afraid to challenge nikolai and go against him if she feels like she has to for his, hers and the country’s sake. he doesn’t shy away from calling her out when her ruthlessness™ gets too much either BUT he doesn’t want her to change! he likes her for who she is! he literally scoffs and says all other men are fake zoya stans! (he’s right!) which is why i love chapter 6 a lot. we’re definitely going to get some angst bc of their own personal feelings towards e/o in the sequel but i also want another fight between the two of them in the event of a war; nikolai might have to make some concessions that conflict w/ grisha interests when the time comes for him to make (shaky?) alliances and i know for sure zoya just isn’t going to have any of that. it’s going to be delicious

+ WHAT MAKES THIS SHIP REALLY FUN is that they’re a power/battle couple – if you come for either of them you better be prepared for the other to come for you – who are normally Unbothered by everyone else but they’re either oblivious or have no idea what to do with their fucking feelings? nikolai is supposedly a genius who can invent, build ships, do politics right etc. but when it comes to his zoya feelings he literally doesn’t get it. meanwhile, zoya thinks nothing of the fact that he trusts her to do things he doesn’t trust anyone else to, even when it’s pointed out to her? not to mention that for a pair who don’t seem to be big on physical affection with other people their love language just so happens to be touch (+ banter) and it makes me want to DIE. like i feel really bad for everyone else around them bc kos implies that you don’t even have to be super familiar with them to see it all so clearly while they’re both just like yes we are only very close friends/allies... these idiots are literally asking to get put in every romcom setting ever and i, a huge romcom/romance fan in general, live for that

(also at this point i really don’t care about whether other people are convinced that they’re compatible or not bc that isn’t my problem and i have since been vindicated but it was super frustrating to see a lot of people talk about how they didn’t want this ship to happen bc she didn’t deserve him even before the sampler came out... like, sit down susan, i can tell that you just wanted nikolai to end up with a character you can claim to relate to so you can self-insert yourself into the relationship lmao)