#yes i used the lyrics bc i want y'all to listen to that song please

[midorikawawas]

Edgeworth/Disbarred Phoenix gotta be one of the most "Cinnamon girl" by Lana del Rey -coded ships I've ever seen, because it's about loving someone that isn't in a place to be loved, getting pushed out yet finding the way back in

[subtext-bycalvinklein]

Soooo... I have realised no one mentioned this tibdit of information and I feel it's Very Important for the sake of fanfic, so I'm here to bring y'all what a few hours of very focused research after ep 9 of the gifted graduation dropped brought me.

And there's no better place to post this than my tinhatting corner, isn't there?

So. I know we've all read about That Song. We've all read the translation and it's been life changing to see the way the whole scene is shot like a romcom, and how well the song fits the theme of the scene, but my tinhatting brain couldn't stop there. I had to notice that both Pang and Wave sing some parts of the song. Wave does it in the beginning, before Pang comes in, and Pang does so once he's sitting with the earbud on. And, right there and then, the urge to know which part of the song they were singing about came to me. I was especially interested in knowing what Pang was singing, because he's just singing it under his breath, and he does this weird thingy where he's singing the last word, looks at Wave, and then smiles this small smile as he looks away. Which is already... Como se dice,,, pretty romcom-y of them, and I have questions to Nanon about his soft heart eyes and to the screenwriters about their stage directions, but like... It's chill. It's cool.

It gets progressively less cool as one goes to read the parts they were singing.

Let's start with explaining the instruments I used (and, while we're here, let's thank Vale who helped me find all this stuff, she's an angel), bc as a firm believer of science I need to explain my method in case anyone wants to repeat my mistakes: first of all, this is the lyrics sheet I've used for translation. I've put it in this app, which is super useful in that it gives you the translation for every single word and their transliteration, which is extremely important for those of us (me) who don't understand Thai alphabet. To make sure I was using the right lyrics, I've used this version of the song to follow along to, and then, once I was confident I put on the right lyrics, I started to follow along with the episode. And it was... An interesting experience, to say the least.

So. What were they singing, and why do I feel like it's so relevant I had to make a post about it?

Let's start with Wave.

First, he sings this line:

The translation of the sentence is a bit messy, but it corresponds to "there may be times where we meet someone new". That's... Honestly kinda irrelevant to the whole Pangwave business because, well. There's no new people involved? But after that, it kinda gets interesting.

Then, he sings:

The translation for this one according to Google translate should be "but we still have our hearts not afraid" which... Doesn't make much sense to me unless we translate it as "but we still have (keep) each others' heart, don't be afraid" (or maybe "but our hearts are still not afraid", but that seems like too much of a stretch to me), but I'm not sure if I'm just misconstruing stuff, so please feel free to correct me. Now THIS sounds like a sentiment Wave, the guy who's listening to a love song after a fight with his "friend" while drinking his absent friend tea, could relate to.

The final part we hear Wave sing along to is this one:

(Note: I've crossed out the part that Wave doesn't sing because it was part of that same verse)

This one is the trickiest to translate, as Wave gets interrupted mid-phrase, but it's basically the bridge of the song. According to Google translate, we should translate it as: "What I want is keep us always watching / if we accidentally forget-". I guess it could be "what I want is for us to keep being careful [with our hearts] / if we accidentally forget to [...]"

So, all in all it's pretty clear it's a song about two lovers who are momentarily separated, but despite that, still enamoured with each other. Pretty fitting for Pangwave's situation, right? But what really, truly, absolutely made me lose sleep it's not the fact that Wave chose this song, or which parts he chose to sing of it, but what Pang sings. Did I have an inkling before researching the exact line he sings, that it would devastate me? Yes. But did I know how much? Absolutely not.

Here, this is the line Pang sings under his breath:

Once again, Google translate tells us this means "always take care and keep your heart", which is more of less something romcom-y but not romcom-y enough to make me go as feral as I actually went. You want to know what made me actually want to ask a few questions to anyone involved with the scene? It's the fact that the one word Pang murmurs under his breath while looking at Wave, the one word he sings, and then SMILES AND LOOKS AWAY FROM WAVE? it's. This one.

I urge you to look for it yourselves if you don't believe me, but I can assure you I've watched it enough times to be very sure, and I'm still asking myself how is it possible that Pang sings a word which means "heart", "sweetheart" and "beloved one" while looking at Wave and then. He looks away. Like. I just wanna know what was the idea behind this whole scene, because to me it just looks like Pang accidentally on purpose called Wave sweetheart and then realised and got nervous about it.

So, yeah. That's all, and if y'all needed an excuse to make Pang use pet names for Wave in fics, here it is: it's basically canon.

[bisluthq]

So idk I am feeling conflicted bc you know how there’s a sect of the lgbt community who are all like “go listen to real queer artists and stop trying to make Taylor seem one of us through your lyric analysis” like.

I mean I get what they’re saying and it’s not even like Taylor presents as a great ally lmao but like... I feel like that argument just forgets that 1) closeted people exist and 2) straight people can write songs that can be analyzed through a queer lens

Like I mean there is a severe lack of out mainstream artists and I get we should absolutely support the ones that are Bc it makes it easier for closeted people to come out the more mainstream it is... but like... idk. I do think some people take Taylor’s sexuality too far and to consider her a gay icon is just like not it right now... but like her music slaps and you don’t have to be straight to relate to it. There are so many of her songs that I listen to and think of my ex gf when I do so it’s like? Maybe Taylor didn’t write DBATC for a woman but I ascribe it to one when I listen to it and like that’s the point of music you know?

Idk I get why some lgbt people are annoyed by her but like... I just feel like no one considers that being closeted is a thing and I think some lgbt people fall into the same default that straight people do and just assume everyone is straight unless they have a huge coming out announcement. And like that’s not fair to anyone tbh.

Yeah look I mean I have MANY thoughts on this:

1) shit doesn't need to be canonically gay in order for it to be relatable. Same as how straight people can and SHOULD relate to queer storylines too because WE ARE ALL HUMAN. No one is ever going to write a banger of a breakup song like Adele. Do I think she has a fruity bone in her body? I mean like maybe she's kissed a girl at a party one time but like all her songs are for her about boys. But they're not necessarily about boys for me. And that doesn't make them worse or less relatable. I'm allowed to ugly cry and listen to Turning Tables and I don't have to picture a bloke when I do that.

2) that's true for minority/majority art in general. Minority groups generally find ways to identify to majority groups, but I LOVE it when majority groups identify to my minority identities. Like yaaaaas goy straight bitches please go stan Broad City. The girls are SO Jewish and... so bi... but like I WANT YOU TO LIKE IT and relate. And most people I've spoken to feel that way regardless of identity. Like, obvi the point is not to appropriate but like yes I'm going to bop and sing to Formation and I'll not say the hair line when I'm singing it in my car - y'all should lowkey know by now Lemonade is like one of my favorite albums because I reference it that much - there are lines I skip but the PREMISE of like being with your group of girls is completely relatable to me. Do I get the nuance she's communicating? Cerebrally but obvi not like to my core, but it's a dope song, and I can have fun singing it.

3) those are two important sidebars and bring us back to Taylor. IMO it's okay to like Taylor's music in a gay way in the same way we queer people like Adele's or even in the way goy straight girls like Broad City. Like it's okay if she didn't mean it that way and she didn't mean to speak to us but did via the human experience and that's like beautiful y'know and makes her a phenomenal artist.

4) it's also important to realize that yes Taylor could be closeted but besties she's not like... revolving her life around it. She has made a choice to live a hetty presenting life and - here's where we get to the kicker - she has fostered the bullying of queer fans who pick up on themes in her music and ship while having no issue with hetty weirdos. And that makes me HOPE she's queer in some way and not homophobic because if you are an ally and you're letting people speculate about EVERY boy you're in contact with but lose your shit when it looks like you kissed your female friend, ehhh that's on you. You're a bad ally and a bit homophobic.

5) which brings me to "why I hope she's queer": fundamentally because it'd make her less stupid and more likable, and it'd make her faux pas missteps more understandable because it was like ~personal and she struggled, and it'd make the signaling she's done (and don't start this I never include ship shit I always talk about sus statements and flag usage etc and it's in my nat talks gaylor tag) more understandable.

6) if she's straight eh people have just as much right to queer read her songs as we do with Adele and Lana. It doesn't matter.

Maybe Taylor Swift is straight. If so she has a LONG way to go in terms of allyship, and a long way to go compared to just about every pop star who has come before her. Like she's a problem dudes. She's a homophobe because she's allowed a fandom which allows folklore songs to be assigned to HARRY but freaks at Wonderland being assigned to Dianna Agron.

Maybe she's bi, and I wish society would allow for that but I don't think it does especially not in her case.

Either way I wish hetlors would get off truthering because it doesn't matter.

So someone thinks she's gay. Cool. Make like Elsa and let it go, why can't that be the case? Again, I am CONVINCED Blake, Scarlett, Emma W, and a host of other celebs are straight. I won't truther someone who's saying Emma and Bonnie shared rooms together because I'd be like "lol Bonnie has the range but Emma doesn't but fair enough" and leave it at that.

Being OBSESSED with this issue is weird.

And before some anon says - I'm not obsessed. Maybe she's straight, I think she could be bi, maybe she's a lesbian dealing with comphet. I'm not her and I don't know! But what I am veeeery convinced of is she ain't no gold star.

[littencloud9]

a (long) rant on why i love promare

warning: contains spoilers

| the animation/art style

BROOO THE ANIMATION IS FREAKING FIRE I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING. ik it’s an action movie, but everytime a fighting scene comes on it just,, blows my mind. there’s so many things going on but somehow you know where and what to focus on and i think that’s really cool. also the colours?? the vibrancy and everything. i love love LOVE how the fire looks, or when there’s a sad scene and everything turns white and black and grey, or even the fact that everyone has colourful hair XD. even those scenes where the burnish are being used for fuel or when they’re dying/turning to ash/whatever you wanna call it, it all feels so magical. there’s a really special vibe in this movie which is amazing imo

| the storyline

as if this wasn’t obvious, but the storyline!! the plot!!! the characters!!!! everything is PERFECT. the part where galo realised that kray isn’t the hero he always thought he was, or when galo watches the lives of the burnish and realised through lio how terrible their fate is (ik lio said it’s a blessing but it’s kinda sad?? to just be burned up by the fire within yourself), or when aina learns about what heris is really working for.... gosh. this also brings me to my next point

| aina and heris’s relationship

okay i’m a SUCKER for interesting sibling relationships and promare DEFINITELY delivered. even though aina feels like she’s living in the shadow of her sister, she still loves her and it makes me 🥺. also, everything heris does, even if she knows it’s wrong, is all for protecting her sister. you can really see her conflict bc she knows what she’s doing is terrible but it gives aina a chance to be one of the 10,000 people to be on the spaceship, and she struggles between her morals and her sister’s safety. there’s also that badass scene where heris jumps off the building and reappears with aina in the helicopter like ???? okay queens??? go off LMAO. but yes their relationship was wonderfully shown and it’s fantastic

| kray’s character

honestly, kray reminds me of lysandre from pokémon xyz lol. he has this mentality that if someone doesn’t do something, the earth is gonna explode or whatever and everyone will die and he takes it upon himself to do it. ig he kinda sees himself as the hero?? (which we al know is wrong but whatever). and when he was revealed to be a burnish and he tries getting lio to join him by saying how he understands the feeling of wanting to burn the world down? or that he only saved galo as an excuse to build up his reputation? and then sent galo to be a firefighter bc it had the highest mortality rate?? he’s a terrible guy BUT he makes for a perfect villain and i’m here for it

| the soundtrack

OKAY COME ON I COULDN’T NOT INCLUDE THIS. THE SOUNDTRACK FREAKING  S L A P S. also you can’t listen to the lyrics of inferno and tell me that it isn’t just a romance song for lio and galo LOL

| the characters

okay tbh i really wish we could’ve gotten more of the burning rescue team. esp lucia!! she’s probably one of my favourites out of the team, alongside varys. she’s got this crazy science kid vibe and vinny (the lil mouse that’s always with her) makes it twenty times better. but anyway, i love how each of the characters have their own quirks and personalities and i really wish we could’ve gotten more of them

| the burnish 

as tragic as their lives were, i think it’s super cool how they all lent their power to make the core explode LOL that’s probably one of my favourite scenes in the movie. also lio’s generals? when they held back the ice just to send lio to the volcano in an attempt to protect him... 🥺 and the line ‘forget about us! the burnish's flame won't fade as long as you live!’ oh my GOD. RIGHT IN THE FEELS

| the humour

when lio captures galo and galo witnesses the life of the burnish and galo’s like ‘y’all eat???’ i have never laughed harder. lio’s FACE omg. or anytime someone jabs and insults the other,,, lio’s just like ‘you’re an idiot’ half the time and galo’s like ‘:((‘ LMAO. or the names of all the inventions and robots? it’s so silly but it really gives a breath of fresh air to the movie!! even if you don’t like romance/action, i’d 100% recommend it simply for the comedy

| galo and lio’s relationship 

alright, saving the best for last XD. there’s just,, so much i love about them? pushing the romance aside first, the way they work together is FANTASTIC. they’re both kinda reckless, but their fighting styles complement each other so much!! and when galo stuck their names together LMAO he’s so silly and lio knows it. they’ve got the same beliefs despite being on opposite sides (at first) and oh my god even the fist bump at the end was so CUTE what a bunch of dorks. 

romance wise, you’re lying if you say you don’t ship these two even just a little bit. throughout the WHOLE movie, even their first interaction where they’re just heavily glaring at each other,, the TENSION these two have omfg. lio figures out that galo really doesn’t know anything about kray and so he’s just like ‘i’m about to ruin your life sorry bro’ and galo is SHOOK but straight after that he’s like ‘the burnish. aren’t bad people?’ he’s seen the tragedy of them, even when lio attempts the burnish cpr thing and it fails and he just watched while the ash... fades. AND THEN HE DOES IT TO LIO AHAHAHAHA. but also, the way they work together is fan-freaking-tastic i said it already but i’ll say it again they COMPLEMENT each other so WELL. 

there’s also the part where lio’s flames protected galo and MY HEART... i think i uwued on the spot. to put in simple terms:

kray: attempts to kill galo

galo: doesn’t die

galo: lol actually my boyfriend gave me his flames to protect me so i won’t scorch to death and he’s also being burned from the inside so brb while i eat the flame he gave me and give it back to him through cpr kissing. yeah bye

KSHSKDHSLSJS

lio wakes up/resurrects/whatever you call it, RIPS OFF HIS SHIRT, JOINS GALO IN THE ROBOT HALF NAKED. this is especially funny to me bc lio at first dissed galo for being naked and now he joined??? LMAO THAT’S GAY YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. and then the robot flew off and THE SMOKE THING TOOK THE SHAPE OF A HEART DHSKDHSK I SCREAMED. CAN THEY GET ANY MORE OBVIOUS???? 😭😭😭😭😭

i haven’t talked much about it yet but the kiss. the KISS. say what you want about it being cpr but that scene SCREAMED ‘ily pls wake up i will kiss you like there’s no tomorrow bc this is my last chance WAKE UP’ to me. and when lio wakes up he’s like ‘...galo? you saved me?’ MY HEART PLEASE 😭😭😭. these two DORKS. and the little fist bump at the end oh god. it’s okay y'all can kiss we all know you want to. the smirks/smiles they send to each other.......... 

AND AND AND NOT TO MENTION THEIR DYNAMIC. listen lio can call galo an idiot however many times he wants BUT we all know lio admires galo and is totally willing to go on with his plans. ‘what’s your strategy?’ ‘grinning and bearing it!’ PLEASE that’s such a galo thing to do and lio’s like: are you serious i have to work with YOU 

and even at the end he’s like ‘you really are an idiot’ LMAO I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF I LITERALLY BLURTED OUT ‘but he’s your idiot’ AND ALMOST STARTED CRYING RIGHT THERE AND THEN

um this is WAY longer than i intended it to be but yeah here. this is me screeching over promare :)

[mynameisminhooooo]

They get to spend all of quarantine with their s/o (Monsta X)

Request : Hi!! Could you do an exo and/or Monsta x reaction to getting to spend all of quarantine with you?

Sorry I put in bullet points bc it's felt like it made more sense? Sorry if you didn't like that. I also included what y'all would do. Bc why not¿

Shownu :

Omg this precious little bear was beyond excited to spend quarantine

Like as soon as his manager said plans were cancelled until further notice he ran out of the practice room

"Y/n I'm staying with you during quarantine..."

"Oh. Aight"

Your guy's quarantine consisted of laying in bed from the moment you woke up till 4 pm

As well as making a lot of food

And taking baths bc social distancing who?

Leads to other things 34% if the time, bc why not??

And of course singing together and him teaching you how to dance to all the songs

Cooking with this dude, where do I start

100% chance of making a mess

Would knock over bowls of side dishes while trying to grab a towel to wipe his hands

Just smiled at you when the food is all over the ground

Talking to the other members over the phone during dinner so it was like you guys were all eating together

Taking food to the other members and leaving it on the doorstep

One time they came outside before he was able to run back to the car and he was convinced he was contaminated

You had to spray him with Lysol to make him feel better

Him just being a whole lil bear the whole time

You guys would go on walks when you'd feel couped up too much

Y'all would be that extremely cute ass couple during quarantine

"I'm so glad I got to spend my quarantine with you" he'd say while kissing your forehead

"I love you y/n"

"I love me too, but your cool too"

"That's not funny" cue pout

Wonho :

Would literally be so happy to spend time with you

Hasn't seen you in like 2 weeks because of his rigorous schedule

When he finally gets to you're guy's apartment he'd just drop all his stuff and run to you, wrapping you in the biggest hug

You guys would eat until you couldn't breath

Ordering take out everyday sometimes for all 3 meals

You guys would take an online art class because why not

Video chatting his family and ofc the members to make sure everyone was well and healthy

Calling his mom 3 times a day

Would be the person who stocks up on toilet paper

Disinfecting everything every morning

Singing karaoke every day after dinner

Doing workouts in the living room because you guys gained weight and he wanted to watch his gorgeous figure

You'd help him write lyrics

You guys would try to be productive and do fun things like read at least once every other day

He'd be so happy to spend time with you like omg

Would literally cry when he looked at you sometimes bc he just loves you that much

Your guy's favorite things to do was lay in bed in each other's arms

"I wish we could stay like this forever, I love you so much y/n"

"I love you too, but can you let me go I have to pee really bad"

Your guy's quarantine would honestly be so fun

Minhyuk :

Would honestly act like he didn't want to spend time with you

"I guess I'm stuck with you"

\(-_-)/

"Your so lucky to have me, huh because I bought food"

Supports every small business and buys from all of them so they'd keep going

"I'll have 3 jars of kimchi, 2 bowls of kimchi jjigae, just give me half of everything"

"Minhyuk where are we gonna put all this the fridge is full"

Gives almost all the food to his family and the members

Buys like 2,264 board games

"Hey, you wanna play Monopoly I'll let you win"

Once again \(-_-)/

Fights about the dumbest thing

"I wanted to buy boardwalk!"

Throws your character off the board

Another person who stocks up, but he bought all the ramen

Your guy's quarantine would be so unproductive honestly

Like you guys just sit around playing board games

Listening to music all day everyday

Going for walks when the sun went down

If he sees an animal on the street he is bringing it home for "safety reasons"

"Look y/n this poor pigeon was left on the street"

Did I mention \(-_-)/

"Minhyuk... It's a pigeon"

Dancing throughout the house

He broke the TV while doing a twirl

Blames it on the pigeon, who you guys have name Piggy

Trying on each others clothes

But at the end of the day he'd be so happy he could spend his quarantine with you and Piggy

"I guess your ok to spend time with..."

Kihyun :

He would be so happy to spend time with you

Would be the most precatious person

"Put on gloves y/n"

"I'm changing the channel..."

Would 10/10 spray down everything before you guys touch it

You guys baked a lot during quarantine

Burning almost everything

Would try to make jokes the whole time

They were not good...

He would try to teach you how to hit the highest notes

Him almost breaking the window

Singing together while reading

Would call every member every day to see how they were doing

You guys would try gardening together because you guys got bored

10/10 the type of dude to telling everyone to buy from small business

If he saw anyone in the street outside the window, he'd yell at them

"Get inside!"

"Do you want to die?!"

You guys would people watch

You guys tried everything possible to pass boredom

Yoga, Singing, Staring Contests

If you got sick would literally call an ambulance

"They want to know if you have a fever, are experiencing lethargy, or have a cough?"

"Kihyun I just have a stomach ache"

Would be so relieved when he just found out it was just gas

He would not let you leave the house

"I really care about you, I cant risk you getting sick"

"You do knows there is a 3% chance of death right"

"But I wouldn't be able to see you"

Wow, whatta man

Hyungwon :

He honestly would be one of those ppl who didn't take it very very serious

"You wanna go to the park?"

"We can barely leave our house to get food?!"

"Ok, loser"

Was happy to spend time with you, but he wanted to actually do things with you like go to dinner

He just wanted to spend quality time with you

You guys would just lay in each other's arms everyday watching TV

Blinds closed letting no light in

The members would call you guys because after 3 days of nothing they were worried

"Oh we're fine, we've just been eating, sleeping and watching TV"

You guys would watch watch every variety show they have been on

You guys would try dying your hair by yourselves

"Wow y/n this blue is really nice"

"Blue it was supposed to be lilac"

How???

Shopping online for everything, food, clothes, furniture

"Y/n we need a new couch I just bought one"

\(-_-)/

You guys got erasable markers and literally drew on the wall

But they did not come off...

He would be kind of sad that he couldn't take you anywhere

But being the cutie he is he'd find ways to do cute date ideas at home

Jooheon :

"Guess what I'm coming home for quarantine!!!!"

Literally couldn't wait to hold you in his arms

Would cry when he came home, because he gets to spend time with you for who knows how long

You guys just hold each other and cry

Would follow you everywhere

If you went to get the mail he'd go with, if you needed to run to the store to get food, he's right by you

"Why is the door locked??? Y/n, you alive? Did corona get you???"

"Don't break the door down! I'm taking a bath"

"Ohhh, let me in!"

This little jerk picked the lock

You guys just sat in the tub for like 3 hours talking about what you should do during quarantine

Things you would do together during quarantine include sitting in the tub for 3 hours everyday

Calling his sister every day so he could talk to his cute niece

He would teach you all his rap parts from every song he could

You guys would send the members a goodie package every week with food and toiletries

Because he worried about them

You guys would take online dance class

Because why not???

Tango, Rumba, Foxtrot, Meringue

He would enjoy every minute with you

You're guys little vacation came to a halt when he fractured his fibula after falling down the stairs

He felt bad that you had to take care of him

But he was so grateful to have you by his side to help him

"Y/n you don't have to get up I can go to the kitchen to get a fork"

Could barely get off the couch

"Just please sit hear"

"So like you wanna bang?"

"No, I want you to get better"

After he got injured he just got so sad that he couldn't do anything with you really anymore

"I love you y/n"

"I love you too"

I.M :

He already was used to seeing you basically everyday

The only difference was you guys got to stay home

You guys didn't even have to change your schedule

He was grateful that he was able to wake up to you every morning tho

"Good morning, cutie"

"Why are you so close??"

Would be so nice the entire quarantine

Need him to wash your hair, just yell for him

Need something off the top shelf

He got it covered

There would be days where you guys just laid in bed the whole day though

You had online school throughout this time

"Y/n hang out with me!¡!¡"

"I'm doing homework for my English class"

"But I'm cuter than English class"

*insert pouty face*

Would try to get in your pants every other hour

You'd let him because ofc

"No, not now Changkyunnie..."

"Yes, now... Pleaseeeeee"

All the members would worry about you because you guys were the youngest and they thought you wouldn't take this seriously

Y'all did though, you only left the house for food

"Y/n am I cute?"

"No, now go to sleep"

"But I love you and I miss you"

"I'm right next to you and it's 3 am"

Bro. Idk why but this drained me I'm gonna write the exo one different bc I literally ran out of ideas of what to do doing quarantine.

[helloalycia]

the exchange // alycia debnam-carey

summary: based off "the exchange" by camila bc why not. AKA you're in an unhappy relationship and fall for your boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend phew

warning/s: i guess cheating??

author’s note: look, i ain't about all that cheating shit. It's horrible and there's no valid reason tbh. This imagine wasn't intended to be a happily ever after in certain aspects, and tbh, everyone thinks they're the good guy hence the interpretation of this imagine is all down to perspective. It's based off the song, specifically the lyrics below, and it's up to you how you take it. I didn't intend for this to be taken seriously (just putting this here in case some of y'all get understandably pressed). People fall out of love and 'your' character should've done the right thing and broken things off but sometimes this (as in what happens) is just the reality of things.

okay, you can enjoy now lmao (i'm probs thinking WAY too far into this oops)

also, Y/M/N = your mother's name

"I think we should trade, 

Cupid told me he was drunk that day, 

and so he shot two arrows the wrong way. 

I heard him say, 

I think we should trade,

we'll tell 'em 'let's go on a double date,

meet us up at six in the café', 

we'll run away and call it the exchange."

         It was raining, hard.

         The patter of water against the window felt like miniature claps and I was sure the glass was trembling under the pressure. Nonetheless, the swirling grey clouds and intense rain fascinated me. It hadn't been like this when we'd left home – in fact, it had been relatively sunny. But as we sat and waited, the weather had progressively worsened. A shame, really. Well, to some.

         "Y/N, are you listening?"

         I tore my gaze from the window and met Ethan's brown eyes. He was sat beside me, watching with confusion as I blinked myself back into reality.

         "Yeah, sorry, what was that?"

         He rolled his eyes playfully and laughed before repeating whatever story he was telling. I felt bad, but once again, his lips were moving and no sound was coming out. Instead, I focused on our surroundings. The chatter of customers around us, the scent of coffee that had settled in the store, the bustle of baristas as they perfected their lattes. It was weird, as Ethan was like the background noise to everything else.

         "...and it's been a while, but I'm sure you'll love them both."

         Ethan had finished speaking and I looked back to him, forcing a small smile. He was talking about his best friend, Levi, who lived in Australia. Ethan hadn't met up with Levi in person for about a year now and Levi was moving back to L.A. – his hometown – with his new girlfriend. Well, new to Ethan and I anyway. Ethan had invited them both to meet at this coffee shop, the first meeting in a year.

         "Everything will be fine," I reassured Ethan. "You're right, I'm sure I'll love them."

         I didn't actually know Levi in person, only through the occasional video call. I wasn't really nervous to meet him, but Ethan figured I was. Should I have been? I didn't know.

         "Exactly," Ethan agreed, smiling a bright smile. Maybe for someone else his smile would have lightened up the room, especially in this dreary weather. Maybe his hand resting on their hand would have sent shivers down their spine. Maybe their stomach would be knotted with butterflies.

         I wasn't so sure.

         We had been together for a year now. He loved me. I had told him I loved him, too. But people can fall out of love, right? It was selfish of me to stay in this relationship, leading him on, when I felt nothing anymore. But I was still figuring out how to tell him. How could I let him down without hurting him?

         My mind was a mess, but I couldn't let that ruin now. He was excited to meet his best friend and I had to be a supportive girlfriend. That wouldn't be hard. I was happy for him.

         "Ethan?!"

         I looked up to see a tall blonde man walking towards our booth, a giant grin on his lips. He was holding hands with a girl, but as soon as he recognised Ethan, he let go of her and raced forward

         "Levi!"

         Ethan let go of my hand – I didn't miss the warmth – and slid out of the booth. His expression mirrored Levi's as he raced towards the blonde, meeting him halfway. The two embraced in a dramatic-like fashion, but nobody really took notice because of how busy the store was, despite the crappy weather.

         I sucked up a deep breath and slipped out of the booth as Ethan, Levi and the mystery girl approached me. Ethan was by my side instantly and I refrained from flinching at his unwanted touch.

         "You must be Y/N! It's so great to finally see you in person," Levi spoke first, a smile on his lips. He put out his hand and chuckled. "I'd give you a hug, but..."

         I shook his hand forced a small smile. I understood as he was soaking wet from the heavy rain outside, his hair plastered to his head.

         "You too," I said, hoping I sounded better than I felt.

         Levi seemed pleased with my response and shared a look with Ethan, but I was too uninterested to care.

         "This is my girlfriend, Alycia Debnam-Carey," he spoke again, this time reconnecting a hand with the mystery girl's. He looked to her and said, "Alycia, this is Ethan, as you kind of know. And this is Y/N Y/L/N, his girlfriend."

         The mystery girl – Alycia – stepped forward and pushed her dark, wet hair from her eyes. As her crystal green eyes flickered from the floor to mine, I felt stuck in my spot. She was beautiful and suddenly green was my favourite colour.

         "Lovely to meet you both," she said, smiling the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. And god, she had the most adorable accent I'd ever heard.

         She too put out her hand, and Ethan shook it first, saying something or the other, but I wasn't really listening. I just knew that it made Alycia laugh and throw her head back with laughter. Her teeth were showing and her happiness spread like a warmth around the whole room. Her soggy appearance and wet clothes didn't seem to bother her – I couldn't imagine anything bothering her, to be honest.

         Suddenly, she was looking my way, her hand outstretched. I cleared my throat and placed my hand in hers, trying to ignore how soft and warm they were. Shivers travelled up my arm and she pulled away, her eyes lingering on mine a little longer. Had she felt it too?

         "Come on, let's sit," Ethan said, ushering us into the booth.

         I slid in first, taking my previous seat. I felt Ethan slide in beside me, but I was more aware of the brunette sliding in before me, her bare knees tickling mine underneath the table. Why was I suddenly so nervous?

         "...right, Y/N?"

         I realised Ethan was speaking to me again and tuned back into reality. When I met his gaze, he was watching me with concern.

         "Hm?"

         He licked his lips and asked, "You okay? You keep zoning out."

         I waved dismissively. "Yeah, just thinking, sorry."

         He nodded, though I could tell he wasn't convinced. It didn't bother me though because I was suddenly hyperaware of Alycia's and Levi's eyes on me.

         "I'll get you a hot chocolate, yeah?" he asked, probably having repeated himself.

         I nodded and turned to reach for my purse, but he simply shook his head and laughed.

         "I'm paying for my girlfriend, Y/N," he said, not leaving me chance to argue, as he stood up. He looked to Levi, who was also stood up, and said, "Come on."

         I watched as Levi leaned down to plant a soft kiss on Alycia's cheek, flinching when his lips made contact. He seemed to be going for her lips, but she turned at the last second. Levi thought nothing of it and both him and Ethan joined the queue to buy our drinks.

         I looked back to Alycia, who seemed nervous, but still smiling. I returned an awkward smile and wondered where to start.

         "So you're Australian, hm? That's cool."

         I wanted to facepalm at how ridiculous I sounded. Of course she was Australian! Ethan already told me that and she literally had an accent! What was I thinking?

         Alycia suppressed the urge to laugh as she nodded. "Yes, I am. From Sydney actually."

         "That's really cool."

         Her eyes flickered to the table as she smiled. "Yeah, you already said that."

         I felt my cheeks grow warm as I also looked down at the table. "Right..."

         It was quiet between us for a moment and I was unprepared for the somersaults in my stomach and the bundle of nerves eating away at me. What was happening to me?

         "So how long have you and Ethan been together?"

         I looked up and saw her sitting up straighter, a newfound confidence having taken over.

         "Erm, well, about a year," I answered, suddenly feeling weird about talking about Ethan. "What about you and Levi?"

         Alycia pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Same. We met when he moved to Australia temporarily for work. I found a job opportunity here and so did he, so we decided to move together."

         I nodded, leaning forward with interest. "What is it that you do?"

         A toothless smile appeared on her lips. "I'm a drama teacher... how about you?"

         "Wow, that sounds pretty fun," I said, before chuckling. "My job sounds kinda sucky now." She laughed and my stomach flipped at the sound. "I work for a marketing company."

         "Ah, that's not that sucky!" she tried to reassure, and I could only find it in myself to laugh at how cute she sounded. "I'm sure it's fun."

         I shrugged. "Sometimes. Maybe. Kind of... Not really."

         She laughed again and I smiled at the sound. I wanted to make her laugh all the time – that sound was intoxicating.

         "Honestly speaking," she said once she'd finished laughing, "I wasn't too keen on coming today."

         I raised an eyebrow, suddenly intrigued. "Oh?"

         She shrugged and smiled. "I don't know... Levi had been talking about meeting Ethan for weeks now. He even mentioned you a few times, but I just wasn't feeling it. Of course I didn't tell him that... I wasn't sure what I'd find."

         "What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brows, not looking away from her.

         She leaned back into her seat. "I don't know. I guess, well, I don't know anybody here in L.A. so I was mostly distracted by the idea of fitting in somewhere new. What I would find here."

         I nodded to show I was listening. Her voice was soft and it carried beautifully against the pitter-patter of the rain on the window.

         "I'm glad I did come though," she said, giving me a pointed look with her bright emeralds. "You seem interesting. I'm looking forward to getting to know you."

         A smile formed on my lips. "And I you, Alycia."

         The meet up wasn't something I had particularly been looking forward to, but later that afternoon, when Ethan was dropping me off to my flat, I was glad to have gone. Something about meeting the green-eyed girl sent butterflies in my stomach.

         "I appreciate you coming to meet Levi and his girlfriend, Y/N," Ethan thanked me as I grabbed some water from the fridge. "It means a lot."

         I cracked a smile as I settled on the stool before him. "Of course."

         He suddenly smiled enthusiastically. "What did you think of Alycia? I figured you guys would get on and it seemed so."

         A warm feeling spread throughout me and I couldn't help but smile for real at the thought of Alycia.

         "She's really nice," I said, looking down to my bottle. "A great person."

         "Yeah," he agreed. "She doesn't have many friends since she's just moved here and all. Levi and I thought it'd be nice of you both to meet. Did you get her number?"

         I nodded, remembering the exchange of numbers we had during our chat. It had happened so smoothly, not like a crinkle in conversation. I couldn't wait to text to her.

         "Cool, cool... well, thanks again..." He cleared his throat and stood up, rounding the island to stand close to me. "You sure you don't wanna spend the night at mine? We could have some fun..." He smirked playfully as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

         I smiled, though the thought of being intimate with Ethan made my head hurt. It had been a month – probably a little less, since we'd been intimate. I couldn't keep this up anymore though, I knew I'd have to break it off soon. But how? Maybe it was just a temporary thing. Maybe I'd fall back in love.

         "I'm kinda tired actually," I half-lied, pulling away from his arms and offering an apologetic smile. "Maybe next time, yeah?"

         He nodded and I could see him rolling his shoulders back, trying not to let my comment offend him.

         "Of course. You should get some rest. If you need anything, just call. Yeah?"

         I nodded and smiled as I kissed his cheek softly. "I'll talk later, Ethan."

         He nodded and offered a small smile before leaving. Only when I heard the door shut did I release a deep breath. One hand grasping the island, the other massaging my temple, I closed my eyes. I couldn't keep lying like this. It was wrong.

         I opened my eyes when I heard the text tone on my phone go off. I reached for it from the counter and saw my screen lit up with a text message. From Alycia.

         Alycia: Hey, how does lunch sound tomorrow? :)

         I didn't have time to register how I felt because my phone vibrated as another text came through.

         Alycia: Unless you're busy, which is totally cool. It's pretty soon of me to text isn't? We literally just met

         I stifled a smile as I opened up the conversation. Going to lunch with her didn't sound terrible at all. My phone vibrated again.

         Alycia: I just thought we could talk more, without the guys, but it's cool if you don't wanna

         To save her from overthinking, I typed back a response, unable to stop the grin on my lips.

         Me: I would love to, Alycia. I know this great café nearby! I'll text you tomorrow with the details?

         She replied instantly.

         Alycia: Oh, awesome! I guess I'll see you tomorrow :)

         Hanging out with Alycia started to become a frequent thing as time passed. I helped her settle in to her new flat (which she shared with Levi...) and showed her around all the local hotspots – so pretty much the nearest Target and McDonald's. We did become pretty good friends, but that overwhelming boat of feelings would just hit me whenever she did something cute or touched me platonically.

         I was pretty sure I was falling in love with her, and I wasn't sure how to feel about that. How could I be falling for someone so quickly when I was in a relationship? A relationship with a guy who I couldn't fall in love with? I tried to convince myself that these feelings would pass and possibly extend to Ethan rather than Alycia, but I was kidding myself.

         And I was sure she felt the same. She just had to be. Unless I was imagining those longing stared she'd send my way, or the extra mile she went just to be close to me. It was terrible for us to be like this when we were both in relationships. But I couldn't help but think that it was supposed to be like this.

         It never really came to light until one afternoon. Alycia and I had gone out to watch a film and she had dropped me off home, following me inside because she needed to use the bathroom.

         "I did ask if you needed to go when the film ended," I teased, pulling my keys from my bag.

         She rolled her eyes playfully. "I didn't need it then!"

         I laughed and she joined in, sending a whirl of my butterflies in my stomach. We neared my flat when I saw a woman knocking on my door.

         "Mum?"

         The woman turned and it proved to be my mother when she smiled my way. "Y/N!"

         I smiled in surprise as I pulled her in for a quick hug. "How long have you been waiting here for?"

         She waved her hand dismissively. "Not long, don't worry."

         I nodded and realised that Alycia was just standing behind me, an awkward smile on her lips.

         "Uh, Alycia, this is my mum, Y/M/N," I introduced, before looking to my mum. "Mum, this is Alycia, my friend."

         "Hello, darling," my mum greeted, pulling her in for a surprise hug.

         I stifled a laugh as I saw how taken aback Alycia was. She glared at me playfully before the two separated.

         "Let's get inside," I mumbled, going to open my door.

         "It's lovely to meet you, Mrs. Y/L/N," I heard Alycia say from behind me. I opened the door and the three of us walked in.

         "You're not from here," my mum commented vaguely, making me laugh because she was always so dozy with obvious things.

         "What gave that away, mum, the accent?" I asked sarcastically. I approached the two at the kitchen island, watching as my mum went pink with slight embarrassment.

         "Oh, be quiet you," she said, feigning annoyance, before looking to Alycia with a smile.

         I kept my eyes on Alycia as she watched my mum with concentration, a polite smile on her lips. God, she was so beautiful. She was wearing her glasses today and she looked so good in them.

         "What I meant to say is where are you from?" my mum amended her comment.

         Alycia chuckled. "Australia, and I don't mean to be rude, but I really need to use the bathroom." She glanced at me and I laughed when I realised that was the point in her coming in.

         "Oh, sorry, darling, go on!" my mum exclaimed, making Alycia smile appreciatively before leaving for the bathroom. She sent me an embarrassed smile, to which I laughed at, before leaving the kitchen.

         "She's a lovely girl," my mum said as I took a seat at the island. "When did you guys meet?"

         I chewed on my lip as I tried to remember how long it had been. "Give or take a few months."

         My mum nodded, helping herself to some water from the fridge. "So are you still with Ethan?"

         I nodded, though an emptiness came over me as he was mentioned. "Yeah, why d'you ask?"

         She shrugged as she settled by the counter, her bottle in hand. "I just haven't seen him in a while, I thought you guys may have broken up. There's also the fact that you've been giving heart eyes to Alycia."

         My eyes widened and I looked around, hoping Alycia wasn't out just yet.

         "Mum! Firstly, Alycia might hear you so be quieter!" I whisper-shouted urgently. "Also, did you just say heart eyes?"

         My mum laughed as if I'd said the funniest thing ever. "Look, all I'm saying is it seems to me that you like this girl. And if you choose to go forward with that, that's fine, but do right by Ethan."

         "Mum, that's not how it is," I tried to argue, but even I didn't believe me. "We're just friends and–"

         I instantly went quiet when I heard the sound of the bathroom door closing. Alycia walked back into the kitchen and a confused smile fell on her lips as she realised it was quiet.

         "Sorry, did I interrupt something?" she asked and giggled adorably.

         "Er, no," I lied, plastering a smile on my face. "Just catching up."

         She nodded and approached my mum. "Well, unfortunately I should get going, but it was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Y/L/N."

         "Call me Y/M/N, please," my mum said, and nodded before pulling Alycia in for another hug. "It was lovely to meet you, too. Hopefully I'll see you soon!"

         Alycia smiled with confusion and cocked her head to the side. I internally facepalmed and my mum merely chuckled.

         "Today was really fun," Alycia said, her voice quieter as she came towards me. A beautiful smile graced her lips as she pulled me in for a hug. I couldn't help but smile as my arms wrapped around her slender waist. I tried to ignore the suggestive eyebrows my mum was raising from behind.

         "Yeah, it was," I agreed, pulling away, our hands trailing down each other's forearms and fingertips touching. Her eyes met mine and I found it difficult to breathe because of how bright and enticing they were.

         "I'll talk to you later," she muttered, smiling toothlessly before letting go and leaving out the front door.

         I breathed out slowly, still unable to shake that rush she gave me whenever she was close to me. I'd almost forgotten my mum was there until she laughed from her side.

         "Gosh, you're in trouble," she commented, and I couldn't help but think, maybe she was right.

         The visit from my mum really brought attention to how intense my feelings for Alycia were. And her comment, do right by Ethan... she was absolutely right. I couldn't be with him when I felt something for someone else.

         What really pushed me to plan the perfect time to break up with him was when I was going to visit Ethan at work to drop off some lunch. He was in his office and his assistant let me right up since she knew who I was. I was about to knock on, but I could hear his conversation through the door and my nosy side came out.

         "I just don't think Alycia likes me like that anymore." It was Levi. Why was he here?

         "C'mon, man, I doubt that," Ethan replied, trying to reassure his friend.

         "No, I'm serious," Levi said, sounding upset. "She's just– she doesn't like me like that anymore. I can feel it. We haven't even had sex in what, two months? Two months, Ethan! Is that even normal?"

         I chewed on my lower lip as I listened in. God, it was so wrong of me to be happy about that, but it also made me feel relieved. She didn't like Levi? Maybe there was a chance?

         No. That wasn't right of me to think. But I knew that thought was hanging around...

         "Dude, listen," Ethan settled, and I could hear him sighing. "Y/N and I haven't exactly been doing so well in that department either..."

         I frowned at how sad he sounded. I was leading him on and I knew it, and just hearing how fed up he sounded made me feel immensely guilty. I promised myself that I would break up with him this week. Anytime, soon, this week. I had to.

         I knocked on the door before opening it slightly, a small smile on my lips. "Anyone hungry?"

***

         I knew exactly what I was going to say to Ethan, but I also knew that in that moment, I'd forget everything I'd rehearsed. Knowing I could make it sound horrible was worrying me, so I decided to get my mind off things. Alycia had asked me to go shopping with her the following day, so that's where I found myself.

         "Trying on the clothes is by far the best part of shopping," Alycia said, a grin on her lips.

         I laughed at how cute she was, feeling those familiar butterflies. We were going to the changing rooms and she was more excited than one would usually be to try on clothes.

         "Yeah, yeah, loser, just go on," I said, giving her a teasing smile.

         She chuckled and got in the changing room, waiting by the curtain. I got in the one opposite her, turning to shut my curtain. She grinned again before pulling her curtain closed. I rolled my eyes playfully and shut my own. This was proving to be a wonderful distraction from my own problems.

         "Ooh, you were right about that top, Y/N!" I heard Alycia say excitedly from her side. "Look!"

         I opened my curtain as she did and smiled impressively. "I have pretty good taste if I do say so myself," I joked, which made her roll her eyes playfully. "Honestly though, you look really good."

         She bit her lip to contain her smile. "Thank you. Now try on those shorts I chose for you!"

         I laughed and closed my curtain, doing as she said. I looked in the mirror, nodding with agreement, before calling for Alycia. We were lucky the changing rooms were empty otherwise I could only imagine the complaints we would get from other customers.

         "Yes! I love those and you look so good in them," she complimented, her eyes looking me up and down. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't blushing at her stare.

         "Thanks," I said awkwardly, before closing my curtain. God, why did she always have this effect on me?

         "I'm not too sure about this one, Y/N, what do you think?" she called after a few more outfit changes.

         I opened my curtain as she did and had to refrain from physically dropping my jaw. She was wearing a black dress that managed to hug her curves in all the right place. She was absolutely stunning and I swear my heart was beating out of my chest.

         "Y-you look really good," I got out, unable to meet her eyes. "Um, you should get it..."

         She pursed her lips and looked in the mirror beside her. "I don't know... do you think?"

         I breathed out slowly before nodding. I finally looked up to her. "Totally, Alycia, would I lie?"

         She looked back to me and raised an eyebrow playfully. "I don't know, would you?"

         I smiled at her expression. "No, I wouldn't. You should buy it, seriously."

         She nodded, a toothy smile on her face. "Okay, I'll get it. But only because you said so."

         I stifled a laugh as she stared longingly my way. I licked my lips and quickly shut the curtain, trying to get her haunting green eyes out of my head.

         I got out of the clothes I was going to buy and back into my own when I called for Alycia. "You ready?"

         "Uhhh..."

         I quirked an eyebrow and pulled open my curtain, seeing hers was still closed.

         "You okay in there, Leashy?" I asked, suppressing a smile.

         I heard her chuckle nervously. "Kinda... I may or may not need your help to get out of this dress."

         I shook my head with amusement and slipped in through her curtain. She had the dress pulled up to her waist and I couldn't help but laugh at her troubled expression.

         "As you can see, my hair is caught in the zipper," she pointed out, giving me a knowing look.

         I moved forward and motioned for her to turn around. "It would've helped if you fastened it first, wouldn't it?"

         "Indeed, it would have," she agreed, making me smile.

         I gently pulled her hair from her zipper and she held it up and out of the way as I moved to pull the dress over her head. It came off with ease and she turned around, smiling cheekily and avoiding my eyes.

         "Wasn't so hard, was it?" I asked, a teasing smile on my lips.

         She sighed over-dramatically, making me laugh, and hung up the dress. The short silence of her response made me realise that she was stood there in her bra and jeans and I could feel my cheeks grow warm at the sight. I averted my gaze, but I wasn't sure where else to look.

         "Thanks," she finally spoke, grabbing her shirt from the peg and holding it in her hands.

         I finally met her eyes, about to dismiss myself and give her some privacy, but I felt stuck in place as her gaze peered right through me. Her eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips, half-lidded as she moved closer. I should have moved, knowing what was about to come. I knew it was wrong. But she was like a magnet, attracting me closer and closer and closer, until...

         Her lips pressed against mine hastily, yet softly. She dropped her shirt and rested a hand on my waist, pushing me back against the mirror, the other hand resting on my cheek. I closed my eyes and moved my lips in sync with hers, appreciating how gentle yet desperate her lips were. She was warm, careful, comfortable. Her body fit perfectly against mine and it sent the butterflies raging in my stomach. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't imagined what it would be like to kiss her. This was perfect, everything I thought it to be.

         And that's when I realised how wrong this was.

         I pushed her back reluctantly, opening my eyes, only to be submerged in her pools of green. We were both breathing heavily, trying to catch back our breath from that insane kiss. Woah.

         "I'm sorry," she said, letting go of me and stepping back. Realisation dawned on her. "God..."

         "Alycia–"

         She shook her head, holding her hand up as she tried to catch her thoughts. She bent down to pick up her shirt and pursed her lips.

         "We should get ready," she said, and turned around, making her perspective clear.

         I frowned guiltily and left her changing room, going to my own. I couldn't get the image of her being that close to me, the smell of her perfume in my nose, the touch of her delicate lips against mine, out of my head as we got ready and paid for our items. Today was supposed to get my mind off things, but it only made me realise how much I cared for Alycia.

         When we left the store, she suddenly spoke, the first since we'd left the changing rooms.

         "I just remembered, I have some things to do back home..."

         I could see that she was lying, only trying to back away and leave.

         "I can give you a ride," I tried, stepping forward, but she only stepped back.

         She visibly swallowed and avoided looking my way. "I'll be fine. I don't wanna stop you from shopping. See you, Y/N."

         I sighed as I watched her speed-walk away from me. God, why did things have to be so confusing?

         I ended up heading straight home after that, my brain having been fried from all the confusion. Ethan called me on my way back, which was the last thing I needed, but I answered anyway.

         "Hey, babe," his voice echoed into my car.

         I released a deep breath before saying, "Hey, Ethan. What's up?"

         "Just wanted to see how shopping with Alycia was!" he said, only reminding me of the pile of things I had to sort through mentally. "Levi told me you guys had a girl's day out! Is she with you?"

         "No, she's back at home now. But yeah, it was good," I lied, feeling even more guilty. How many lies had I told him now? Too many to count, no doubt.

         "That's good," he said. "Well, anyway, I'm at yours, waiting for you. Thought we could hang out this evening?"

         I just wanted to be alone, but I couldn't exactly say that, so I sighed. "Okay, Ethan, I'll see you in ten minutes."

         He seemed excited, which only pressed the guilt I felt because I knew I needed to break up with him. "Awesome! See you, babe."

         I said my goodbyes and groaned as I drove home in silence, thinking about how I was going to deal with everything.

         When I headed through my front door, Ethan was there instantly, taking bags from my hands and setting them down. He pulled me in for a hug and I noticed how hard and uncomfortable it seemed compared to Alycia's smaller frame.

         "I missed you," he said, leaning down to kiss my cheek. He stayed there, sniffing the air. "Is that a new perfume?"

         I widened my eyes when he pulled back. Crap, was that Alycia's?

         "Levi picked something similar for Alycia not long ago," he said dismissively, oblivious to my panic. "If you like it, I can get you it."

         I scratched my head awkwardly. "Erm, yeah, Alycia was showing it me today when we were shopping. I wasn't really fond of it though."

         Ethan shrugged. "Eh, fair point."

         I was grateful for how oblivious he was, but it also made me realise how much of a cheater I was. God, I was the worst. I needed to end this. But first, I needed to fix things with Alycia. She was plaguing my thoughts and I had to see how she felt about me. That was eating away at me as much as this whole breakup thing was.

***

         I found myself knocking on Alycia's flat door a week later. I knew Levi was hanging out with Ethan so this was my opportunity to fix things between us. She'd been avoiding my calls and texts all week and I couldn't stop thinking about her and the moment we shared. I needed to talk to her.

         She didn't answer straight away, but I could hear her on the other side of the door. She was probably looking through the peep hole, debating whether or not to let me in. I only hoped she would.

         After what felt like forever, the door finally opened and I was met with Alycia's glowing eyes.

         "Hey," she got out, her eyes suddenly darting to the floor nervously.

         I felt butterflies in my stomach at her presence. Still, I was unable to contain my feelings.

         "Hey," I greeted in return, my voice cracking nervously. I cleared my throat and continued, "Um, I haven't been able to reach you lately."

         Alycia visibly gulped and nodded her head, still not meeting my eyes. "Yeah, sorry about that, I was busy..."

         I could see she was lying, but nonetheless, I nodded. "Erm, it's okay, but I was hoping we could talk some things out. About, well, y'know..."

         She breathed in deeply and nodded before stepping to the side to let me in. I walked in and noticed how she still wouldn't look at me. I felt shivers on my arm as I walked past her, catching a whiff of her perfume – the one she wore the day we kissed.

         "Would you like anything to drink? Eat?" she asked politely as I sat on the couch.

         "No, Alycia," I said, staring at her. I knew she was stalling.

         She merely nodded and took a seat on the couch, but left a large gap between us. I understood why she was acting like this, but I wasn't sure what it meant. Did she think our kiss was a mistake?

         "Look, I'm going to get right to it," I began, growing uncomfortable at her lack of attention. "I think you like me as more than a friend."

         This caught her attention and she suddenly looked up, her green emeralds widening ever so slightly.

         "And I like you too," I added, softly.

         Alycia's eyes darted around the room hurriedly, as if she was trying to collect her thoughts. "Y/N, this can't... we can't... this is wrong."

         I frowned slightly. "I know. We shouldn't have done that to Ethan and Levi. But that's a separate problem for the moment. I need to know how you feel."

         Alycia's eyes met mine and she shook her head. "Y/N, I shouldn't have kissed you, okay? I shouldn't have done that to Will. I– I cheated."

         She looked down to her hands, and I saw how terrible she looked. She felt guilty for what happened and I didn't blame her, because I felt it, too.

         "You like me and I like you," I stated. "I feel like something was always supposed to happen between us. Don't you?"

         She pursed her lips, her eyes flickering to mine momentarily. They were agreeing with me, even if she verbally wasn't.

         "I've been thinking about breaking up with Ethan for a long time now," I told her honestly. "Since before I met you, Alycia. It just wasn't working out. And I know things haven't been the best between you and Levi. And I guess I'm just thinking, what if we ended up with the wrong people?"

         She ran her hands though her hair and sighed quietly. "I can't just break up with him, Y/N. It's not that easy. I share this flat with him to start with. Things will be messy and I can't just leave him because I might love someone else. It's not fair to him."

         Despite her obvious hurting, I couldn't stop myself from smiling slightly. She said she might have loved me and it made my stomach flip upside down.

         "You might love me?"

         She tensed up when she realised her slip up, but said nothing.

         "You can't stay with someone to keep them happy when you aren't happy yourself," I said, not looking away for even a second. "It's not fair to either of you. And the flat shouldn't be an issue. You can stay with me until you find a new place. I can help you out, Alycia. And maybe we can sort things out between us on the way. What do you say?"

         She genuinely looked like she was debating my offer. Her eyes looked to mine and I finally felt like I could see how she felt for me. I wanted to be with her, and obviously I had to do the right thing and break things off with Ethan, but it would be worth it if I could finally be happy and have Alycia.

         "I can't do that to him, Y/N, I'm sorry," she finally spoke, and any hope I had died away. "We should just stay friends."

         I tilted my head to the side and looked away. Nodding, I bit my lip and thought things through. She had feelings for me but couldn't be with me. Alright, okay, I could deal with this. Right?  

         "Okay," I agreed, knowing I wanted her in my life as a friend rather than nothing at all. "As friends, can I stay here to hang out?"

         I glanced at her and she was chewing on her lower lip.

         "Yeah, sure," she agreed. "Only platonic feelings between us. Agreed?"

         I nodded and sat back in my seat, mumbling, "Okay, but it was you who kissed me."

         Her face grew warm as an embarrassed smile fell upon her lips. Sinking in the couch beside me, she grabbed the TV remote and turned on the TV.

         I stayed and the two of us watched a film together. I wasn't even sure what we were watching because Alycia's presence was too distracting. I caught myself staring at her, too enthralled with how beautiful she looked. She was dressed so simply, her hair in a loose bun and no makeup on, yet she managed to take my breath away.

         Not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable however, I tried to concentrate on the film, whatever it was. But suddenly, Alycia sighed loudly.

         "Y/N, when did this happen?" she asked, and I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

         "What are you talking about?"

         She gave me a knowing look and glanced down at our apparent intertwined hands. Hm, when did that happen? I didn't recall grabbing her hand in the first place. The feeling of it in mine felt so perfect it made no difference.

         "Really? Because I can remember agreeing that this would be platonic yet–"

         I couldn't stop myself and before I knew it, I had leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. She went quiet and instantly moved forward, her lips moving against mine. The kiss was sensational and I felt shivers down my spine as she rested a hand on my cheek and her other hand on my thigh. We pulled away for a quick breath but I moved forward and caught her lips in mine again, unable to be away from her for a second longer. She was addicting and warm and everything like the other day, except this was kiss was less rushed and more meaningful.

         This time, it was me who pulled away, but I kept ahold of her jaw, not moving away from her fully.

         "I'm sorry..," I breathed out. "I know we agreed to be friends, literally half an hour ago, but I couldn't help it."

         I watched as Alycia clenched her jaw slightly, it tensing under my hand. She pursed her lips and glanced down, before moving back and making me drop my hand to my side.

         "I... I want to be with you."

         My heart raced faster as she looked up and met my eyes with confident ones. She said the words I so desperately needed to hear.

         "Then let's do this," I spoke, smiling a little. I took a leap of faith and reached out for her hand. She let me. "We can do what's right. Break up with Ethan and Levi. Then let's do this for real, Alycia."

         She seemed uncertain as she looked down at our intertwined hands.

         "Okay," she agreed, and I didn't expect it, so it almost went right over me.

         "Yeah?"

         She nodded, looking up again. "Yeah."

         I breathed out with relief, a lovesick smile on my lips. "Yeah."

         "We'll do the right thing as soon as possible," she said, a serious tone suddenly taking over her voice. "It's what's fair on the boys."

         "Agreed." I nodded, knowing she was right.

         "But for now..."

         I furrowed my brows, wondering what else needed to be done, but that confusion was short-lived as she moved forward and captured my lips in hers, stirring the butterflies in my stomach for the third time in a kiss now.

         Her lips were addictive, I knew that much, and as she kissed me there and then, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming amount of happiness.

         Maybe, just maybe, Cupid shot his arrows the wrong way.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #237

just a warning beforehand this survey has some probably tmi stuff.

Which is better: good 'ole southern food or sea food? Despite coming from and still living in, I legitimately enjoy almost NO southern food. Absolute garbage. I don't enjoy much sea food either though, save for shrimp, so I guess that. Have you ever had a very strong spiritual experience? I dunno. What do you think you want to major in at college? I'm an Art & Design major right now. Minor in? English is my minor currently. What song do you have on repeat lately? Quite a lot, actually. What’s something important you could be doing now? I could be working on finishing the draft to my Writing paper and this week's Art History chapter, but... yeah. I procrastinate all to hell, but I "justify" it with me having SO much extra time in the library while Mom takes her classes that I have a great deal of time to just do everything in there. How do you feel about Circuit City going out of business? I have zero clue what that is. About how often do you go on cleaning sprees? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL what're those? What’s the best story you’ve gone over in an English class? The Outsiders. Is your house haunted? Don't think so. What kind of tissues do you prefer? At least thicker as a single sheet of wet paper and soft. But ultimately it's nota a big deal. What face wash do you use? I prefer the Biore charcoal scrub, but I've been out of that for like... ever, and it's pricey, so we haven't bought any more. So now I use this peach scrub stuff Mom gets. I don't like it much because it's kinda abrasive, so probably bad for my skin, but it at least makes it feel cleaner. Do you reject Satan? I don't even know if a head demonic entity exists. Got no opinion on him. Are you violent? Far from it. Do you use google search or yahoo? Google. Was your step mother terrible? Her political views are fucking trash, but she herself is a wonderful person. Do you know anyone who doesn’t care about anything but themselves? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Are you single? If no who are you dating and for how long? I'm single for now. I don't believe prayer or "good vibes" have any power, but nevertheless, I almost DO pray Sara and I will come back together once she figures herself out and one of us is brave enough to move. Do you enjoy going for walks? Nowadays, no, but only because I'm still recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs, so it hurts quiiite a bit. But in a way, yes, I do enjoy walking as I know it's good for my legs, but it's still painful - but improving immensely. Before it started to get real bad, I fucking loved going on walks down the path by Sara's. When it wasn't cOLD AND WINDY AS A MOTHERFUCKER What are your favorite accessories? Do piercings count? If yes, totally those. And spiked chokers are fucking hot. I'll wear mine again someday, just fkn watch me. Do you wear makeup on a regular basics? Not at all. I am asking for *genuinely* black eye shadow and also quality black lipstick for Christmas, though, for when I do wear makeup. Ours suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. When was the last time you really established your favorite TV show? Oh, idk. It's been years. Write one lyric that really explains the way your life is going as of now? HAHA I'm actually listening to NSP's "Danny Don't You Know" right now and if "you're just going through an awkward phase from 12 to 29" aIN'T ME- Do you ever have any fantasies that involve certain celebrities? Who? Yes. Take an. idk. Wild guess. You can read like one or two of my surveys and already be absolutely sure lmao What is your favorite brand of shoe? Where can you buy these shoes? Converse, and... multiple places?? Does anyone ever judge you for something you naturally cannot help? Oh, I'm sure. Do you support homosexuality in general? Why do you or why don't you? Of fucking course I do. It's natural, and especially after realizing I was bi and experiencing a genuinely loving female-female relationship, I've only grown more ferocious in standing for gay rights. Fuckin try to tell me I can't love her without some sky demon firing me into Hell for it. I'll bring sunscreen. If you had your own personal dance crew, what would you name it and why? I dunno??? Has anyone ever called you an exact replica of one of your parents? Agree? No. Have you ever claimed to be in love when you knew you really weren’t? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I don't joke around with that shit. If you had the chance to meet an annoying celebrity, would you still do it? No?????? Why would I want that??????????? Do you ever lie in the grass during summer or are you afraid of ticks? 1.) That sounds boring and too hot and 2.) I'm fucking terrified of all parasites, so ticks are zero exception. Does it bother you when you see slutty girls getting all the cute guys? *chaotic eye twitching* In winter, would you rather wear jacket or hoodies? Why is this? HOODIES! Mega cozy. Would you consider yourself a good singer or are you tone deaf? Depends on the song, but generally, I don't think I'm real good. My voice isn't stable. Do you think regrets are better left unspoken or should they be out loud? Y'know, a real good question for once. I think maybe... it depends, I guess? Some things are just better unsaid, sometimes vice-versa. I suppose it depends on who you're telling, too. What color is your remote? Does it have any special/interesting features? Uh I know it's black, but that's it. I never use the TV. Name a time when you cried the most: The night of the breakup when Mom drove out to get me (I was walking to his house to talk bc she wouldn't take me), and she had to physically hold me down when we got in the house because I dashed and she knew I was about to do something stupid. I just fucking collapsed. That night is so blurry, but I'll never forget the crying. Fucking NOBODY deserves to go through that goddamn night. What color is your keyboard? It's black, though the keys are rimmed with red light. Have you ever thought about suicide? Too many times. Please please please please seek help if you have even a moment's consideration about it. How do you feel about Obama? I don't know much about him politically, but he was funny as fuck, I do know that. Seems like a chill dude. What was the last lie you told? I dunno, something little. Name 3 things in your purse (or wallet): My Harley Quinn wallet, hand sanitizer, aaaaand my keys. What time does your favorite TV show come on? *shrug* Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? I haven't been to many seriously "scary" places, honestly... so idk, really. Do you like string cheese? NO. What color was the coolest insect you’ve seen? No clue. Probably some butterfly or moth. Do you own any pink clothing? ... How do I not know this. How do you usually style your hair? It's directed to the right with no part through it and swoops over/close to my right eye. Do you use anything to whiten your teeth? I'm also asking for whitening strips for Christmas. .-. Ah, how gift desires change as you grow. I took awful care of my teeth during the worst of my depression, so yeah, I need them. I'm honestly stunned they're in a decent condition now. Have you ever collaborated with anyone on a project (not for school)? Hmm, don't believe so. What is (going to be) your career? I refuse to drop my career aspiration of a photographer. Not giving up on that no matter what. What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? Crocodiles' teeth protrude both upwards and downwards over their lips while alligators' only show downwards; crocs have a more tapering snout, alligators' are more rounded; and crocs are generally bigger. I didn't obsessively watch Animal Planet for nothing, y'all. :^) Were you breastfed as a baby? Yeah. That woman had five goddamn kids with no epidural or anything. She ain't afraid of no pain, and she's also like, MEGA into child health, safety, etc., and while formula-feeding is completely fine and valid, it's factual breast milk is a lot healthier for babies. What does your favorite shirt look like? Man, that's hard to pick. My most comfortable and well-fitting one is a Metallica "King Nothing"-inspired design, which is black and just has some gnarly skull designs 'n shit on it. HA HA WAIT, found it! This is it. Just a few days ago though, my mom's coworker went to the NSP 10th anniversary show in Chicago AND SHE GOT ME A FUCKING SHIRT BC SHE KNOWS I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH I SQUEALED SO LOUD AND SMILED MY FACE IN HALF. What is the cutest breed of puppy in your opinion? Do not EVEN with this, omfg I couldn't even try. What is the cutest baby animal in general? Have you, like, SEEN baby meerkats????????????? They're not the cutest for the first, like, two weeks (BUT still cute!!), but once they're outside the burrow? Jesus fuckin CHRIST they are the cutest creatures known to the galaxy and beyond. If we're talkin' like, cutest from birth, maybe cats. I adore kittens. Do you have some sort of odd fascination with anything? Perhaps my "strangest" is what's referred to as "vulture culture," which is essentially using naturally-deceased (usually wild) animals for art, such as those popular crystal-covered skulls, necklaces, creative use of wet specimens, stuff like that. I find some odd beauty and respect in creating art of the dead - it's like... making death beautiful and honoring the creature by immortalizing it in an art form. I personally photograph roadkill (that shit's confused the fuck outta drivers lmao) with the goal of forcing the brutality of it onto viewers and just make you think "okay yeah I need to drive more carefully." I don't know if that technically qualifies as vulture culture as I don't really... use the corpses, but nevertheless, I really enjoy doing it. I do kinda question the morality of it, like you can't ask an animal "hey do you wanna be art when ur dead?", so you're left to decide for it, but I think I lean ever so slightly more towards it being respectful, showing the beauty of its life. I WANT TO SAY HOWEVER, I DO FUCKING NOT support hunting trophies. I even question taxidermy outside of being from hunting considering you're not really making art, something new, some sort of message, out of it. There's no creative purpose other than to show "hey look at this dead animal!!", and besides that, it kinda creeps me out. Wow sorry for the ramble, I'm just into this stuff. Who was the last person to text you? Sara. What did they say? Paraphrased, that life has been a serious cunt to her lately. Which is true. have you ever broken someones heart? He fuckin acted like it after two goddamn weeks. I suppose maybe Jason, though I can't really tell you that since he fucked off after the breakup, so it's not like I was around him. I'll admit his health and general demeanor was withering as time led up to it (I knew something was wrong, he'd just never tell me), so he was obviously suffering. I feel awful for that shit, seeing I was apparently that goddamn stress-inducing. Had yours broken? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO I think the whole Internet knows, oops. Do you consider past relationships a waste of time? No. Well, maybe just one. I kinda wanna say Tyler was, but then again, as I was healing, it showed exactly what I would not tolerate. So I guess it had a silver lining. Do you think you’ll be around to see the world end? I wanna say no, but I wouldn't be surprised. It's gonna be climate change (reason #1 for me), the super volcano finally blowing, or nuclear war. Scientifically, we are far, far, far from overdue for another mass extinction anyway. Do you believe in second chances? Yeah, sometimes. Depends. Do you swear? Way more than needed. Swearing a lot just became part of my normal vernacular through exposure to Jason and his family lmao. I was just about always there, and whew does his mom swear like a sailor. Italian New Yorker to the core. To me, "swear words" are just normal vocabulary. What is the nearest photo to you of? A family of meerkats on my wall. Are you good at being quiet? Sure? Who has your heart? I'm guessing you mean romantically? Two people are tearing at it, then. One that's fuckin stupid and needs to stop. Do you like it that way? No. No. Sara is, realistically, the best match for me and a very healthy partner for me. But now that for whatever goddamn reason Jason sneaked back into the picture (metaphorically; he hasn't reached out or anything), hints of obsession/addiction are coming back. I know it's fucking creepy, but I was legitimately obsessed with him. I sent him a perfectly polite and genuine email of ME apologizing to HIM, and I guess that just shot my feelings back up. God, typing this makes me realize to a fuller degree that this is an awful idea. Where is this person? Sara's probably at home; hell if I know where the other is. When was the last time you saw them? I saw Sara this past February. Jason, not since February of '17. Do you prefer desktops or laptops? Laptops because of portability. Sunrise, or sunset? I think maybe sunrise, considering the colors tend to be more pastel. But both are gorgeous. What kind of mood are you in? A confused as hell one. The Jason thing is driving me insane, and TMI WARNING I've been dealing with a fucking ginormous libido that I'm guessing sprouts from my new birth control, and it led me to doing to thing I said I'd never ever do because I only want to share that experience with my partner. Y'know, the "m" word. Saying it feels too weird and dirty. That's the problem: it's so instilled in my head that masturbation is lustful and just "wrong" that my brain is still trying to process that it's okay and natural and, as I found, relieving. I had to look it up and everything to convince my shameful ass I wasn't being "dirty." Hey, on that note: Planned Parenthood offers way goddamn more than abortion, friends. I swear it's beyond wild what I used to believe. But yeah ANYWAY, I'm just feeling weird and still kinda "tail between my legs" today. Do you like fans that blow directly on you or oscillate? Depends on how hot I am. What is one thing you worry about most in long-term goals? "not having enough money to get there.." <<<< YUP this. Right before you fall asleep, what is your usual position? It's hard to tell considering you're falling into unconsciousness... but I THINK on my left side, hugging an edge of the blanket to me. When you have sex, do you keep your eyes closed or open when finishing? I wouldn't know; I've only ever been on the brim before freaking out and we stopped because I was literally scared of how overwhelming the feeling was. That and my family was home and I was having trouble staying quiet lmao. When you have mail do you open the biggest one first, or doesn’t matter? Uhhhh. I honestly don't get mail enough to answer this. I'd probably go for the smallest? When you wake up what is the first thing you usually look for? My phone. Think of the last habit/addiction you quit. What replaced it? Hm. I really don't know. Your phone rings but you don’t know the number, would you answer it? No sir-ree. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I didn't always back then. Do you let your girl/boyfriend drive, or do you prefer to? 1.) I don't drive and 2.) I'm single. The last time you had sex was it in the morning, afternoon or night? Hell if I remember.

[riversonfire]

HUTAZONE Album Review bc I can

01 // HUTAZONE - of course it starts sexy with his vocals an a smooth r&b beat to match. love it already. THEN he raps and it. is. fantastic. it's what I call "aggressive" rap lol. it's a prelude track and lasts under 2 mins but it's a fave. welcome to my zone indeed 🔥

02 // YA - tbh the music video for this song is what puts it over the top. the song itself is good, very up tempo, fits in very well with the other songs on my workout music playlist lol, but the music video is lit. he includes the lyrics "introducing redman tour" and I was just lmao. I really was never fond of his blond hair but for his huta look, it goes perfectly and yes, *sigh* it's grown on me. anyway, please do watch the mv and steam the song 💙

03 // 너도? 나도! (Feat. 소연 of (여자)아이들) - as someone who's not familiar with g(idle), hearing soyeon on this track (albeit very briefly) was interesting. she has what all good rappers have- a distinctive voice/sound. overall, this is probably the song I like the least but hey, that's just me.

04 // 아무렇지 않은 척 - as I suspected after hearing the audio snippet for the album, I love this song. even before looking up the lyrics, you can feel the angst in this track. it's super easy to listen to. it reminds me of "beautiful pain" only because of the recurring pain theme lol. look up the lyrics, you'll know what I mean :P

05 // 꿈인가 봐요 (Duet. 육성재 of 비투비) - anyone who's seen/heard the video of sungjae and minhyuk singing "doll" together from the I will your melody series way back when, knows how great the two of them sounded together. this song is no exception. the chorus is SO gorgeous and dreamy. it's a true duet too, not just a pop up of sungjae's voice here and there. I not so secretly hope to see them perform this song on stage together someday ;__;

06 // 낙화(落花) (Interlude) - um. this might be my favorite track on the album?? it's 1:40 long but omg it's so musically nuanced and complex. it starts quietly, calmly and gradually builds to a desperately beautiful crescendo that quickly dissipates. it's rather hypnotizing. it also reminds me of how brother act was put together to tell a story and feel like a play, because the rest of the songs from this point on feel more like minhyuk and less like huta if that makes sense.

07 // Fallin' - the 2nd cheeriest song of the bunch! but it isn't really my style so I don't have much to say about it :(

08 // ALL DAY (Korean Ver.) - well the original japanese version is my favorite minhyuk song of all time so why would this be any different? but I've read the translations of both versions aaannnddd yeahhhhh. this version is the g rated one lol.

09 // Purple Rain (Feat. CHEEZE) - ah, an oldie but a goodie (if you want to consider this song old lol). my one track mind is reminded of hyunsik singing along to this in one of his vlives ^^

10 // 오늘 밤에 (With Melody) - this is the cheeriest song on the album :) being the sweetheart that he is, he wrote this for the fandom <3 it describes his relationship with melodies. lyrics here.

11 // Waiting For You - this one feels like one of the more meaningful songs since it's the last track and it expresses the sentiment of "still waiting for you" as his enlistment date draws closer. the final lyrics are "I have to let you go now" and I just want to cry my eyes out 😭 in the same way fans will wait for him, he too waits for the time when he's reunited with us again. we literally just said farewell to changsub I'm not ready to let him go :((((((((

of the three album cover pics minhyuk posted today, the one I included here is my favorite bc it perfectly portrays the nature of this album. it's both huta and minhyuk. HUTAZONE establishes him as a true all around artist- composer, lyricist, rapper, vocalist, dancer, visual. I'm always sad when people mention btob's composer line and only include hyunsik and ilhoon. minhyuk may not be as prolific as ilsik in terms of number of songs he's made for the group, but he is equally as talented.

he's got three weeks left, y'all. and he's spending two of those weeks promoting "YA" and the album. his two night solo concert takes place three days before his enlistment date. and he even said in his LieV that he's doing all this for the fans so please, let's give minhyuk all our love and support 💙💙💙

[lesbiansarelovely]

Song recommendations :) please

ahh yay okay !! so idk what sorta music you're into but I listen to a clusterfuck of just idk I'm a mess so I'll try to group the recs by type and then whatever you're interested in you can try out sorta rock ish group I guess I don't know what I'm doing lol I'm so sorry - arctic monkeys (fav songs are arabella, fluorescent adolescent, and do I wanna know. overall this band has some pretty sick base drops and some funky rock beats), the front bottoms (fav songs are twin size mattress and peach. overall the lyrics are totally tubular and you see them embroidered all over the place lol), and then joy division which they rock (kms I'm so sorry that's a horrible pun) and basically every song but if you're looking for a place to start I think the first song I listened to was she's lost control and idk kinda goes without saying but if you're into rock you will probably have already listened to their music or will enjoy it idk songs/bands that make me want to live in a forest and eat berries and be mauled by a bear idk that's just the vibe I don't make the rules also pre bear mauling my wife and I would be in love and climbing trees and shit - hozier (fav songs cherry wine and from eden but actually everything bc his music warms my soul and basically it is very instrumental with angelic singing), I have listened to one song by ben howard in my life and it was old pine and I recommend, kaleo's song all the pretty girls makes me cry, I feel like vance joy's song georgia would work on this list, can everyone tell I'm tired as my descriptions slowly get shittier yes okay continuing, ivory hours warpaint is vv nice, james supercave body monsters has some interesting lyrics and I used to listen to it on repeat not gonna lie I do that with all songs until I hate them but oh well what can you do, that's it for now idk maybe I will add more at some point who knows girls with pretty voices that make me want a wife to sing to me and also I really just want a wife to love and cherish is that a big gay mood can everyone tellbim sleep deprived - regina spektor (fav song is samson im not religious idk I just think her voice is so beautiful but also really listen to all of her songs her voice is great), birdy (she sings so pretty so everything but skinny love is a popular one and good place to start if you don't listen to her already), ella eyre sang we don't have to take our clothes off and I died, lana del rey is lovely (fav songs video games is super great and also lots of her other songs), daughter !! is so great !! love her !! (fav songs are smother, youth, and lifeforms but really everything ever), where does the good go doesn't really belong here but I'm a lesbian and it's pure and also the vocals are lovely and it sounds upbeat miscellaneous mess™ - the lumineers are a fantastic band (love gun song, submarines, sleep on the floor), haven't listened to florence and the machine in a while but you can't go wrong here (my boy builds coffins, third eye, cosmic love), always here for the oldies but the goldies love 80s music and I know bohemian rhapsody was from '75 but I'm a slut for rounding up shoutout to my elementary maths teacher, anyway back to the 80s ya got journey, queen, rick astley, a-ha, prince, bon jovi, michael jackson, survivor, ac/dc, etc, throwback to pink she still owns my ass, kesha is my actual queen now idk girl I just love music and finally, the greatest song of all time, the bop, the banger - fireflies by owl city lol this was so long and I am so tired and I'll probably have to go back and fix this once I've slept but hopefully you like anything at all from this shit list anyway thank you so much for sending an ask you're the light of my life hope you have a lovely night :) also everyone else keep sending in asks and I would honestly be overjoyed to talk to you guys or answer any questions you have or listen to you rant or anything I love y'all am

[movetogetherau]

1/... Um, these tweets make me so sad. I forgot about how ugly things can get when ppl are just out there making assumptions and judgments based on mistaken assumptions. Assuming Yousef cheated😕, assuming SANA SLEPT WITH YOUSEF☹️(excuse me fan-1-up to Sana what she does, 2-y'all should respect her boundaries and believe her words) "to keep him by her side" (and then judging her🙄); ugh, that #legendsonly tweet😞🙄😡; omg and this about losing respect for Sana?!?!?💔 1/a million(12)

2/12 Wow,"Luke"🙄ugh🙄this is so heartbreaking. So much judgment. OMG and these tumblr rants and fights😨🙁-there's just so much vitriol being spilled-I dont like it(but it's kind of exactly how the rumor wheel spins and spews terrible shit and then ppl just react based on nothing but their assumptions). HTLive, I....just can't with you rn, ok?🙄😔😟-1-keep "old dance partner" out of it, 2-THEY ARE JUST DORKS (😍😇💘) WHO LIKE TO TWEET AND TAKE PICS, 3-abt the girl? see#1, 4-Ugh I knew the house3/12 thing would be a mess�� “I mean girl, you can do whatever you want with your life but isn’t that a little too much?” -If she can do what she wants with her life, then that means no buts and you can take your judgment and just, like, step off, ok? Like-FIRST OF ALL,her values are her own, not “things” for outsiders to use against her and second of all, just like, stop☹️ making😖assumptions😫stop..judging☹️?please😖?-Also, PROTECT YOUSANA AT ALL COSTS, my poor bbs- (I don’t know if you didn’t send number 4 )5/12 HER LIFE IS BETTER NOW-SHE JUST CONFIRMED IT TO OTHER PEOPLE/HERSELF LAST CH!😨😨😫😫Ok Sana, I love you, but maybe not the best time to be cracking jokes🤔😁🙄.OMG YOUSEF YOU SAD SAD PUPPY😨“Do you want to break up with me?”😨☹️😫😫😫😫. “‘No. That’s something I would never do.’”😍😱😕Well🤔I guess we know what’s coming😒YUP (fuck you Robert I hate you). This entire exchange is disgusting and I hate it-I hate how they dont care about the Balloon Boys MV, I hate how they dont care about6/12 how Sana and Yousef feel right now, I hate how it doesn’t matter what the truth is, just what the “press” says and “reputations”-I hate it all. It makes me very sad. OMG Sana and Yousef using the pretext of the video as a way to stay together 😨😇😖😫😭-ok so they are so fucking pure and adorable that as soon as they look at each other their entire demeanors change😖😍😫😭(PROTECT THEM! PLEASE!)-Oh no. they’re breaking up. Sigh.7/12 OMG Sana, your FIRST (secret) goal is to clear Yousef’s name, and then you think about yourself?🙄😍😫? If I didnt know you were in so much pain I would cancel you right fucking now. I hate this reporter. I hate everything about this. OMG SANA!😫😫😫. I-AM-SAD-I-CANNOT-THINK-ANYMORE-I-AM-JUST💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😖😖😖😖😖😖😭😭😭😭😭. Same, Yousef. Omg you changed your stupid rule about your $)&)#& playlist but you couldn’t tell Sana how you felt? Yeah...I hate you. 8/12*pause to listen to song, and curse (in my head) at the writers who decided to fuck with their readers by making this THEIR NEW SONG* istg this !(*$*^*($#* is a sign-Yousef, you moron, just listen to the fucking lyrics🙄😡-but also: 😫😫😫-Aw Fariha, I’m so conflicted about you rn, bc you mean well, but like….what u doing, girl🙄 @HTLive: get out of my face, seriously. “We hope that this break up was as friendly as it can be considering the circumstances.”🙄😒😡🖕🏽9/12 ELIAS!MY CAPTAIN! ☹️You’re getting dragged into this as well☹️☹️☹️ (this is so messy). OMG😨😰the music video😕it is here🙁oh they hit play😟and they’re remembering😣rehearsals💃🏽😖and do you trust me😫and coffee dates (i mean, “breaks”)☕️💔😩THE ROOF😍😱💔😢THEIR FULL DAY DATE💔😭and the rain😖😭and then spending the night at the Bakkoush residence💔😱😖😭and waking up😱😖😖and families😭😭and BABIES😖😖😖😭😭😭😭AND💘💔😖😭and now alone. 💔😖😭💔😖😭💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😖😖😖😭😭😭😭😫😫😫😫😫10/12 (Ok I seriously don’t even know how to move past the watching the mv sequence😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭). Ugh Yousef you adorable puppy😫😭 and trying to defend and protect Sana at all costs😭😫😇😫And admitting your love💔😫😭-Sana-I KNOW. And she sees right through him😫😫😫😫-FUCK EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS: HIS CONTACT NAME😫😫😫😫I HATE YOU ALL JUST TWIST THE KNIFE YOU SHOVED INTO MY HEART THATS FINE. 🎶💔😖😭-Wooowwwww-that edit is FUCKED UP(👀👩🏼☕️💔😖😭🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽) 11/12 Hi Elias☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️��️☹️☹️☹️-OMG AND OF COURSE THE PAIN CONTINUES AND NOW ITS BACK TO YOUSEF TO FEEL THE PAIN💔😫😫+🎶💔😖😭; PICK UP THE PHONE YOU IDIOT! IT’S THE SHIP CAPTAIN YOU CANT JUST BE IGNORING HIM ESP WHEN YOU HAVENT EVEN CHANGED THE FUCKING BACKGROUND IN YOUR PHONE GET OUT OF MY FACE YOUSEF. OMG DONT CLICK ON IG BRO☹️! ‘Still not able to just call Sana and tell her how he feels. Still not able to do that and ruin Sana’s happiness just because he dared to fall in love.”-I’m….😫 12/12 YOOOOOOO: 🎶💔😖😭(STOP TWISTING THE KNIFE OK IT’S ALREADY THERE IN MY HEART AND IT HURTS). Yousef! I just want to give you a hug! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW AND TELL SOMEONE (or maybe Baba Bakkoush will save the day? Or Yousef’s cousin? Or...Yousana themselves?!?!?)In conclusion I hate the 2 of you rn for being so talented and messing with my ❤️ like this, even though yeah it had to blow up at some point and the fall out is pretty much in line with how the media can be. 💔

Omg thank you for this long reaction and WE’RE SORRY!

All the social media things... we wanted to keep it as realistic as possible and sadly that’s how it is with rumours and so on (that doesn’t mean we didn’t get super angry at the tweets and stuff that we made up)Okay but that Ashley girl from Hollywood Today with the YouTube videos: I got so mad at her even when she’s made up. Noelia can tell you how irrationally mad I got hahaha“PROTECT YOUSANA AT ALL COSTS“ MOOD!“fuck you Robert I hate you“ Another character we made up that I hate... writing this chapter was really nerve wracking hahah + “I hate everything about this.” About that song: Well, I heard it and was like ‘Okay this is perfect for this chapter’ and told Noelia so we had to include it. Sorry for making you sufferFariha really just means well :DThese idiots just love suffering... “PICK UP THE PHONE YOU IDIOT! IT’S THE SHIP CAPTAIN YOU CANT JUST BE IGNORING HIM” I burst out laughing at this but yes, Yousef should listen to you“STOP TWISTING THE KNIFE OK IT’S ALREADY THERE IN MY HEART AND IT HURTS” SORRY!!!

And finally, thank you! For always leaving these amazing reactions. We love reading them! And answering is always a lot of fun too! And thank you for saying it’s in line with how the media can be because we wanted it to be as realistic as possible. :D