thecalgarytowing

[wayward-sherlock]

el was the first to get vecna’d

[makeusfreefromthisfandom]

just sending some appreciation and good vibes to my people for the new year <3

kisses from me bc you all hold a very special place in my heart 💝

Also veryyy long post ahead I’m sorry I had to include everyone Aakklaksks 😭😭

@ominous-meme 🖤 sabah! You were my very first mutual on here I hope you know that! I can’t even begin on how excited I got when I found out you were a fellow desi girl and I will always appreciate you being there and advising me! <3 I love our street racing au! talks ! I’m glad I have someone to share ideas with <33

@weebsausage 🖤 dude omg!!! 😭😭😭 pls I literally forgot how we became moots I’m so sorry I have a tiny brain 😪 but I think we literally just messaged each other and started talking about free! ANYWAYS TYSM FOR PUTTING ME ON HXH I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THAT WTF ITS LIKE MY FAV ANIME EVER I HAVE BECOME HXH TRASH AJSJSJBS ❤️❤️ but other than that thank you for being a really great friend to me and I hope this year is nothing but good things for you <33

@dokifluffs 🖤 you were also one of my first moots on here! I honestly could not believe when you followed me back bc ur like my biggest inspo! 😭 you’re so precious omg I always look forward talking to you and get excited when I see a notif from you still! I hope the new year treats you well and brings good things in your life! Lots of love from me bae 🥰❤️

@syrenblubs 🖤 ah my most relatable person LOL. Omg syren ur my little bestie on here and I’m so glad we’re mutuals! I love our natsuya talks and OML THE C****** RAID! ALSJJSJSJSJJS AND DESI PARENTS AKSJJSNS. Just thank you for always interacting with me even tho I SUCK at responding 😭❤️❤️❤️ ilyyysmmmmmm

@linak 🖤 baby omg where do I even begin. Back when I had literally no one to talk to on here, you would be the one NEVER failing to send me a gm/gn message! You always bring a stupid smile to my face 😭 I’m so freaking glad that we are friends I literally cannot put into words!! Ty for always listening to me and letting me open up to you ❤️ love you always.

@croctears 🖤 vixxx ahhh!!! I’m so glad we became mutuals on this shitty app! You’re one of the highlights of my day and I love talking to you sm 😫 especially if it’s about Sou 😏😏 keep being amazing bae! Kisses mwuah mwuah 😽😽

@xakusa 🖤 Marty bby! 🥰 literally the only person I’m going to share my man natsu with 🙄 our conversations are always so RANDOM and out of nowhereeeee lollll but we also just go along with it and I love that! You are an angel and this year better be giving you what you deserve! Lots of love from my end 😽😽😽 kissies from me and natsuya <3

@cafelixie 🖤 I will keep saying this and I will never stop. YOU!!! ARE!!! THE!!! ACTUAL!!! DEFINITION!!! OF!!! PRECIOUS!!!! Need I say more? You’ve made my day countless times and I always look forward to seeing you in my messages/inbox!! Baby I freaking love you I really don’t know what else to say 😭❤️

@skippyskeppy 🖤 I will never forget the first time we interacted my Kisumi enthusiast 😙🤝 I love it sm whenever I see you pop into my inbox with a random hc about semi semi or Kisumi, Albert now too! You are an amazing person. A really amazing person. I hope you know that ❤️

@keeijiakaashi 🖤 I remember seeing your little comments under my posts before we became moots and OMGGGG YOU ARE SO CUTE AISJJSJSJS ALSO RIN ENTHUSIAST??? YES PLEASE!!! Tysm for always interacting with me and making yourself known as the ultimate sweetest person on my blog! Ilyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️

@animatedarchives 🖤 we have your fellow love of the kirishimas to thank for us becoming moots! You’re so cute soph omg 😫 I love how we literally have brainrots of the same characters LIKE MR GOJO LEECH SATORU!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD OR PAY RENT!!! Ahh you’re irreplaceable soph! Never fail to make me smile like an idiot <33

@natsuya-enthusiast 🖤 how did we not become moots sooner wtf??? Do yk how alone I felt when I had no one to discuss my obsession of natsu with when I first made this blog 😪 AND THEN I REALIZED U WERE ONE OF MY FIRST FOLLOWERS???? ANYWAYS U ARE THE BIG SIS I NEVER HAD ALWAYS PULLING THROUGH W THAT LIFE ADVICE BAHAHAHA ilysm gaby wtf 😭😡😡😡❤️❤️❤️

@moonlitspring 🖤 do you even realize how happy I got when I realized there was another ACTIVE free! blog 😡😡 ajsjjsjs you are such an amazing writer and PERSON sky!!! You’ve been nothing but the sweetest and I hope we get to interact more this year and share our love of free! together <3

@ayumiko 🖤 laís you are such an angel! I absolutely adore both you and your edits/gifs smmm 🥰 you are so kind and I hope 2021 is also <333

@dalggina 🖤 omg??? YGO bae??? 😤😤 I thought literally everyone had forgotten ab it LOL THEN YOU CAME ALONG ❤️❤️ I’m really glad we interacted precious person! And I hope that you have a great year! ALSO YOU BETTER NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH FROM WORK OR IM MANIFESTING MR ATEM TO COME GET YOU 😡

@stormikujo 🖤 omg bby! We haven’t talked in awhile! I hope you are doing well! ❤️❤️❤️ ahhh I’m glad I got you into free otherwise we wouldn’t even have interacted 😫 I love talking to you stormi!! And I hope this year brings great things fro you! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

@aj-writes-here 🖤 omg hey girl 😼😼 you’re definitely one of the coolest people I’ve talked to on here for sure! Hope you’ve been enjoying hq and free! Your welcome for putting you on that simp train 😼 anyways, ilysm aj!! I really wish the best for you this year! Stay amazing as you always are, ily!! ❤️❤️

@attackonfics 🖤 wtf 😭😭 I don’t deserve you???? You’ve been nothing but the sweetest to me and also responsible for my unhealthy obsession with mr 5’2 angry gremlin >:(( jkjk but seriously, ty for the food 😌. ANYWAYS QUEEN I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND TREATING YOURSELF AS!!! YOU!!! SHOULD!!! VIRTUAL HUGS 😽😽 💝

@browsing-my-favourite-fandoms 🖤 Shizen! You are too good for this world! 😭 you are such a genuine person, you deserve nothing but happiness ❤️ I really hope that this year does that for you. I’ll keep checking in from time to time! Ilysm! ❤️

@inum4ki 🖤 sera...please...just invest in a personal guide or smth. Asksksknsjs n e wayzzz seeing you in my inbox is always so much fun! Sousuke really deserves more love and you are bringing it to the table hun 😤😤 also you’re a fellow inumaki enthusiast too??? Yes please. You deserve all the happy things in 2021 <3

@sneezefiction 🖤 Gracie!! I love how easy it is to get along with you! You are truly one of the best people I’ve met on this app and I’ll forever be grateful for our friendship <3 you give off such great vibes all the time omg giving you a huge virtual hug and here’s to more interactions this year! 🥰😽😽😽

@velvetfireworks 🖤 bbyyy!! 🥰 everytime we interact even if it’s not a whole lot, you’re always the sweetest what 😭 I love you and you’re writing so much omggg you are so talented!! I get super excited when I see myself get tagged in one of your stuff 😆 I hope we get to interact more in the future! Have a great New Years ❤️❤️❤️

@a8mine 🖤 stop being so mean to me 😡😡 !!!!!! ig ily anyways tho 🙄 you’re energy is honestly unmatched (in a good way!!) and it’s rare to meet people like that! You’re so funny omg and your random hcs and cursed discourses always have me dying 😭😭 you’re so cool hanna ily 😪✌️ <333

@giorvanna 🖤 ahh rena! Your blog and edits are *chefs kiss* I love our random semi brainrot sessions 🥰🥰 I hope we interact more in the future but in the meantime I’m sending you good vibes and lots of virtual hugs bc you deserve them queen ❤️❤️❤️

@seijohlogy 🖤 hey hey jaestar 🤩🤩 you are such a cool person??? Omg I’m so glad that we’re friends and randomly invade each other’s inboxes 😆 you are so kind! This year better be kind to you too or else 😡😡 I hope that after Ms rona decides to move her ass over, you get to go to Disneyland and take!! Me!!! With!! You!! Love you jae bae ❤️❤️

@prettysetterbaby 🖤 hey sexc 🤩🤩 no idea why you followed me but glad you did bc you are such a sweet and chaotic person!! I loveeeeee <333 I hope we get to interact more bc you are just genuinely such a fun person to interact with! Ilyyy

@datecho 🖤 yet another just genuinely sweet person! The world doesn’t deserve you! You’re so fun to interact with and a hottie??? omg shoto and kags better get off their asses rn and come get you or I will 🤩🤩 ly bae! have a great New Years! ❤️❤️

@miyasangel 🖤 we haven’t interacted much yet but ahaha talking about suna and sending my fanart to you is sm fun! Did I tell you that I also have a wip of Atsumu as a street racer? 😏 have a great year Arden bae! Kisses 😽

@aikk00 🖤 hi hi! We don’t interact on a daily or anything but when we do, omg!!! You are the most easy person to get along with 😭 you have such a good heart along with the talent???omg??? You are UNMATCHED babe! I hope this year brings you many more opportunities! Stay amazing love ❤️ ily and your art very much ❤️ I’m also still very embarrassed from fucking up the credits from last time. I’m so sorry bae 😭❤️❤️

@kurooskult 🖤 ma’am you might as well be the definition of bad bitch 😪🤝 ok but besides that, interacting with you is sm fun??? Like we don’t even have to be moots on your blog to feel just as included and loved! You are such a queen for that! Here’s to more mila x kuroo content in 2021 and he better be doing special for you as he should !!

It’s still the 31st here but THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY COUPLE OF MONTHS ON HERE BEARABLE!!! This sounds like a goodbye post Oml-

I love you all very much. I suck at words, but I hope you know that. ❤️

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Book 4 : Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 5)

Description: Fun and games in Elyys’tel, but Alodia is starting to get worried as the Catalyst Reunion nears its end. 

Tagging: @xo-endlessmayhem-xo , @princesstopgun 

Chapter Five : The Pebble in the Pond

Estela

I probably should have known better than to get cocky. As the silence stretches on between us, her mouth twists sulkily. “Come on, Estela, I really didn't want you to look at me like that...”

“Sorry. It's just...my mother is...”

“Dead. I know. But so was Mike when I gave myself back to Vaanu. And he turned up alive. I think I felt guilty leaving Jake less than an hour after he watched Mike die again, and I begged Vaanu for that one favor. But...I can't imagine that I wouldn't have...no...I'm sure I did at least ask if you could have your mother back, too...”

She's speaking so quickly that her words barely have time to register before I'm focusing on her next sentence. But then she abruptly trails off, and my brain has a chance to catch up.

“...It's...been five years,” I say slowly. “If somehow my mother was restored, I can't imagine that she wouldn't have come back to San Trobida sooner than this...”

Alodia's shoulders sag. She looks disappointed. More disappointed than I feel. Perhaps I should be more crushed, but the truth is that it has been eleven years now since my mother's death, and such a fleeting, barely believable glimmer of hope is too little to excite me. It doesn't even feel disloyal to admit it.

“...I'm sorry, Estela. I just hoped...”

“It's all right. It's not your fault.”

“That whole moment is just...such a blur...”

“Why not come back inside?”

“...No...I think I need some fresh air. You go on, though. I'm just going to wander a bit.”

Quinn

No one can help being curious and worried when Estela returns to the audience hall alone, but she quickly assures us that nothing is wrong.

“She...was wondering if it was possible my mother had been restored along with Mike. I think she's a little disappointed that she wasn't.”

“I...should I go after her?” Jake asks uncertainly. “I...don't want to crowd her...but...”

“Let her have a few minutes to herself,” I reply. “She's in Elyys'tel. No one here is going to let any harm come to her.”

He shoves his hands into his pockets, pouting a little. “I know...It's just...”

Sean puts a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, we all get it, man. But you said yourself you don't want to crowd her.”

“She must be feeling so crazy disoriented right now,” Diego sighs. “A little solitude might do her a world of good.”

“Why don't we all go down to the beach?” Varyyn suggests. “Taari has been eager to play with you.”

As we make our way down to the beach, we spot Alodia on one of the far platforms, stretched out on her back with her hands laced behind her bed, staring up into the magnificent canopy above her.

On the beach, Taari immediately claims Estela and Zahra to team up with him for quuk'tanoi. Varyyn, Seraxa, and Diego volunteer to oppose them.

“You gonna earn your mask today, buddy?” Diego asks, grinning.

“I'm gonna try!” Taari replies.

“Do not imagine we will go easy on you,” Varyyn warns. Taari scoffs.

“You never do anyway. Even if I wanted you to, you wouldn't.”

“That's right.”

The six of them gather their sailboards and splash into the ocean. The others drift off towards various games and activities set up on the beach. It's like the Valinorim all over again. Except that this time, it's in honor of the Catalysts. I amuse myself with the children, playing a game that involves seashells and coconuts until I spot Alodia hovering near the treeline like a seventh grader at a dance working up the nerve to ask her crush onto floor. I smile, wandering over to her.

“Thinking of joining us? You're welcome to, of course.”

She smiles a little. “...The last time I played Vaanti games was at the Valinorim.”

I chuckle. “I was just thinking of that myself.”

“...I was more remembering what had happened before that.”

I feel my smile slip. “You mean when you saved my life with the Island's Heart.”

She nods. “...Do you remember much of what happened on that bridge?”

“Not...too much. I...I was fading. It was hard to focus on anything. I don't even think I really realized what was happening to me.”

“I knew exactly what was happening. I had seen it before, when we both touched your idol on Sharktooth Isle. That's why I started crying then. Because I had just watched you die in my arms on a bridge in Elyys'tel. I didn't realize then how soon it was going to happen. When it started to happen in front of me...I begged you not to go. I was furious and terrified that this was happening when I hadn't had a chance to stop it yet. And if I couldn't save you...”

“You did, though. You saved all of us. Everything.” She reaches out a hand to me, and I take it, squeezing.

“I never really had the chance to explain about those idols, did I.”

“Well, you told us that you were watching us die, and I think we all guessed those were visions of previous timelines, but...we never got details, no.”

“It wasn't just your deaths that I saw. I saw visions from your pasts, too. It's how I knew that Michelle never actually cheated on Sean...” She trails off, frowning. “...Wait...did they ever tell you guys about that? Did I just blab someone's embarrassing secret?”

“No, don't worry. Michelle told me. But I don't know how many of the others know.”

“...Right...well...I saw visions from your pasts. From before the island. Everyone's except Diego's. ...I don't know why I never questioned that...”

“Wait, but...you had an idol, too. Did...you see your own past?”

“...I saw myself talking to Diego, encouraging him to go to the party he'd been talking about all week. ...I suppose if that actually happened, he was talking to himself...”

“Did...you see your own death?”

“No. Worse. Just before you collapsed on the bridge, I saw myself alone, digging eleven graves.”

As the gravity of her words settles in, I shudder. “I guess that must have made you pretty desperate.”

“I would have been desperate either way. But yes. That vision made everything that much larger.”

“You know...I never actually knew you were the Endless, or the missing piece of the Island's Heart...but from the time I was cured, I was able to sense that you were...different somehow. That you were connected to the same spirit that was riding inside me. There was an energy in you that matched the one in me, but it seemed like it was...locked behind something.”

“In retrospect, that makes perfect sense. ...Why didn't you tell me?”

“Probably for the same reason you never told us about the visions from the idols. A combination of fear and a desire not to face a bunch of questions I didn't have answers to.”

“Fair enough.” She is quiet for a long moment. “Do you...feel anything of Vaanu now?”

“...Not that I can tell, no. I figure it took itself out of me when it left.”

“But presumably Silas Prescott's crystal had enough energy to bring me back.” She sighs. “I wish I could remember more about Vaanu's home planet...about what the crystals actually were. The crystals weren't Vaanu itself. They weren't actually part of its body or its spirit. That was the Island's Heart...and...the crystal pillar...” She hisses suddenly, grimacing, bringing a hand up to clutch her head.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm getting the feeling I'm going to get tired of that question,” she replies wryly. In spite of myself, I chuckle.

“I know the feeling.”

She lifts her head to smile at me. For a long moment, she is quiet, just looking at me. I look back, willing myself to be patient, to wait until she feels that she can say what's on her mind. I refuse to push her.

“...Do you remember after you were cured, when you told me about feeling a kind of...grief?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you ever feel...overwhelmed? By the thought of living a full life? Finishing school, finding a job, possibly getting married and having a family? Growing old?”  

“Of course. ...Is...that what you're feeling now?”

“Yeah. Of course. I mean, I didn't live with the idea that it wouldn't happen as long as you did. When things got hard, I would imagine my future. But...in retrospect, the future I imagined was all about you guys. Everything Vaanu showed us. You founding a non-profit, Diego writing a book, Jake clearing his name, Sean becoming a football star...all I really imagined for myself was living with Jake, and maybe having his kids...”

“Do you not want that anymore?”

“Oh, I still want it, don't you worry about that. At least, I still want him. And his kids if he wants any. I like the idea of having kids, but I don't need them if he doesn't. Either way, though...that might be something for further down the line. But my point is that because I was born for all of you...I never truly thought about a future for myself outside of you. And then that became moot. But now...”

“Now there's a world of possibility in front of you.”

“Yeah. And I don't really know where to start.”

I feel a kind of relief flooding through me at that. I expect she and the others may have felt something similar when I started to talk about the future as something I needed to prepare for.

“What was your major at Hartfeld?”

“History, I think. With a minor in dance.”

“Oh, that's right. You were a dancer, weren't you? I think I remember that...”

“Yup. And a gymnast. I was pretty good at it, too. But I didn't have nearly the dedication to make an Olympic career out of it or anything.”

“Do you know what you wanted to do with your history degree?”

“...Walk through the world and get to know the people who walked that ground thousands of years before me...”

I feel a chill creep over my shoulders. There's something terribly beautiful and haunting in the sentiment.

“Well...I'm sure you can take a little time to figure it out. As far as the world is concerned you've been lost for five years. I'm sure everyone will forgive you if you don't dive right into the business of paying bills and taxes.”

“You're probably right. ...But it's still scary to think about.”

“Of course it is. But that's why it's okay not to rush into it.”

She frowns a little. “...Hey...why is Murphy still around?”

“...I...think you would know better than I would.”

“T'kal is still here, too. What about the Yeti?”

“We...haven't seen her since Vaanu left. Or Cetus, or any of the Guardians. I think Cetus and the Shore Guardian are still dead. But I don't know about the Deep Guardian. We haven't had much reason to go into the volcano.”

“...But clearly, not all of the anomalies were taken away...”

“Maybe...it just wasn't possible to undo everything...”

“Maybe not. ...Vaanu's arrival sent a shockwave over the planet. Compared to that, T'kal and Murphy and I are just pebbles thrown in a pond. What concerns me is that any one of us has the potential to make waves.”

“But you don't think you have the power to break reality like Vaanu?”

“I don't think so, no.”

“And if you don't, I doubt that T'kal or Murphy do, either.”

“You're probably right,” she sighs. For a moment, she is quiet, looking out over the water. The quuk'tanoi game is tied two-to-two. Taari just barely manages to keep Varyyn from ending it with the winning goal. Her gaze shifts to further down the beach, in somewhat shallower water, a series of narrow wooden posts rise above water's rippling surface. I remember Michelle and Craig facing off against Varyyn and Diego in that event at the Valinorim. The dueling staves are lying on the sand. Alodia abruptly strips down to the bathing suit I've loaned her for the week and starts toward the water.

“Where are you going?”

“To see if I still have the right stuff.”

She wades into the ocean, swimming out to the posts and mounting the nearest one in a single graceful motion. She balances carefully on its flat, narrow top, barely large enough for the balls of both her feet. She starts tentatively at first, just stepping from one post to the next. Gradually, she starts to fold in a pirouette or two. Jake and Sean take notice and start to wander over, followed by a few of the others. Alodia starts to add in some handstands and flips. A crowd of Vaanti and Catalysts starts to form as she starts to move faster and more artistically. One of the Vaanti begins pounding out a rhythm for her on a traditional drum. She moves with it, dancing over the posts with cat-like balance and grace. Some of the Vaanti start singing and chanting. I find myself clapping to the beat of the drummer. It seems to motivate her. She is dancing for an audience now, aiming to impress and inspire. Finally, she stills, ending in a crouch on the center post. Even from the shore, I can see the sweat glistening on her skin and the way her breasts heave with exertion. The crowd erupts into enthusiastic applause and cheers.

I notice Jake starting into the water, his pace somewhat hurried as he swims out to the posts. I quickly realize why as Alodia wobbles slightly in her attempt to slip off the post and into the water. She could probably do with a little help getting back to shore. She's trembling a little as she climbs out of the water, leaning on Jake. She smiles sheepishly.

“I think I'm going to be feeling that in the morning.”

“Maybe, but that was frickin' awesome!” Craig exclaims. “Where did you learn to do that?!”

“Uh...gymnastics classes? I think the real question should be where I learned to do that in the timeline where I never existed before the island.”

“Well, that's easy,” Diego remarks. “Being able to do cool stunts was one of the superhero powers I imagined for you.”

She snorts. “That's not a power, that's a skill. Couldn't you have given me the power of flight or something? I've always wanted to fly.”

“What, time travel isn't good enough for you?”

“Well, you didn't dream that up for me, that was a side effect of being part-alien.”

Diego grins. “...I challenge anyone to say they've got a cooler best friend than I do.”

“Next time we play quuk'tanoi,” Taari declares, “she's on my team!”

I start a little at the sound of his voice. I am embarrassed to admit that I missed the end of the game.

“How did you do out there, Taari?”

“He has not yet earned his mask,” Varyyn says. “But it will not be long. He put up a good fight.”

“Say, I got an idea,” Jake pipes up. “I'm guessing Alodia needs to rest tonight after that display, but what's say tomorrow we get the old dream team back together? Me, Cap, and Princess against Varyyn, Seraxa, and Taari.”

“Well, I'm game if Alodia is,” Sean says, grinning.

“I...I don't know. It's been years since I played...”

“It's been years since you were on a balance beam, too,” Diego points out.

“After that display, I'd be more concerned about those two weighing you down,” Seraxa agrees, nodding at Jake and Sean with a smirk.

“Hey, watch it,” Jake retorts. “Remember what underestimating us got you last time.”

“Well...” Alodia smiles, and I can see her trying to hide her eagerness. “We'll see how my body feels in the morning. If I'm walking like an old lady, I'm out.”

Varyyn

We spend the last daylight hours in play on the shore. Alodia appears to have recovered from whatever melancholy mood had gripped her earlier. Though her performance on the sparring poles has exhausted her, she engages in conversation, laughing and telling jokes with the Catalysts and the Vaanti. She listens eagerly to Taari's stories of the last five years in Elyys'tel, and shares in the feasting back in the village.

The skies have turned dark by the time the feasting is over. Seraxa has shuffled Taari off to bed, and the Catalysts have drifted off towards their beds. When Diego begins yawning, I encourage him to wait for me in our hammock, but I am not quite ready to join him there. At first, I'm not sure what it is that compels me to make my way up the top platform instead of joining my beloved in blissful sleep, but the urge is to overwhelming to ignore. When I arrive there, I find Alodia, staring out at the stars glittering above the ocean. I stop dead in my tracks when I realize what precisely drew me up here.

… I can still feel her. Her presence remains on the edges of my mind, a consciousness separate from my own. For five years, it was gone. But I must have felt it return the same moment she did.

“Anlashokk,” I murmur.

“You feel it too, then?” she asks in Vaanti.

“I did not realize it until now. But yes. I do. We are still linked.”

“So we are.”

“Do you suppose it means anything?”

“As far as I can tell, it means that I am the daughter of Vaanu, and you are Vaanti, whose ancestors imbibed the sap from the tree nurtured by my parent's energy. It means that on a beach five and a half years ago, you touched my forehead and broke the barrier between our minds so that we could communicate. ...It means that we are who we are, and that has not been fundamentally altered either by Vaanu's leaving this planet or my returning to it.”

“...Do you want Diego or the others to know?”

She sighs, leaning back against Elyys'tel's massive trunk. “I don't think it should be a secret, but I don't feel the need to tell them, either. I don't mind if you tell Diego. Perhaps I will tell the others in time, if it feels necessary.”

I nod. “It is your decision.”

She is quiet for a long time. When she speaks again, it is in English. “Varyyn? How come you never turned on me? When you learned that I was the Endless?”

I could tell her that she was never the Endless, that the Endless was an alternate version of herself, but part of the advantage of having her in my mind is knowing when I would only be wasting words. It would not comfort her to hear that. But I believe the truth might.

“Because of Diego.”

She sighs. “I see. Because he loves me and you love him, you couldn't hate me.”

“No. Well, yes. But that's not why I didn't turn on you.”

“I don't follow.”

It is my turn to be silent for awhile, looking out over the still, peaceful water. “...Do you remember the previous timelines? Those lives you lived before?”

“Not all of them. And not all the time. I think they've been largely repressed as a matter of self-preservation.”

“...The Endless went back to change the Vaanti because the meeting between the Vaanti and the Catalysts always ended with the Catalysts slaughtered.”

“...Yes.���

“...Do you...do you know if I was ever there?”

The look she passes to me suggests that she had never considered the question before. “I...I don't know, Varyyn. I suppose it's possible some version of you was there. Though...you probably were not recognizable. Whatever version of Varyyn lived in those timelines before the Endless changed you would have been feral like the other Vaanti. Part of what makes you the Varyyn we know is your upbringing. And you were raised with the Endless' teachings.”

The relief that floods through me is so strong that I feel my knees weaken, but I manage to stay upright, gripping the rope support in front of me. A knot of tears crystalizes in my throat.

“...Since the Endless revealed herself to us in the temple, since she took off her helmet and showed us your aged face, since she revealed that it was in an attempt to keep her loved ones alive that she made herself a god to us...I have wondered if I was there when the Catalysts were slaughtered. I have wondered...” I choke, swallowing hard before continuing, “...In my nightmares, I can see the day Cetus killed my mother. That happened right in front of me. That memory is barely more real than the images my mind conjures up of the Catalysts being slaughtered by the Vaanti. I can see Diego. ...I can see him on his knees, begging for his life. For his friends' lives. I don't want to imagine things like this, but I cannot help it. My mind tortures me, filling in every detail. Who he has already seen die. Who is still living, still begging, still frightened, still fighting, still weeping.

“I can't bear to think of it, but I do. All the time. I see him die, Alodia. My mind shows me his death, and I want to tear apart the one who held the spear with my bare hands. ...But then I realize that it might have been me. There might have been a time when I heard his cries and his pleas and was unmoved. There might have been a time when I looked into his eyes and felt nothing. When I saw his fear and his anguish and never felt the desire to take him in my arms and fight any who would harm him.” I look at her, my tears flowing freely now. “...How could I condemn you for loving him more than I did then? For never wavering in that love, and doing everything in your power to save him?”

Her mouth twists, her eyes shimmering in the moonlight. “...It wasn't you, Varyyn. You did not come into being until after the Endless changed your people. I don't care if the Vaanti who killed Diego was the only son of your parents, it wasn't you. You are my best friend's soulmate.”

“...And you are the woman who brought hope to my people. You brought my soulmate to my side. And you will always have my friendship.”

“As you will have mine.” She smiles, wiping her eyes. “...I should probably find my own soulmate. I expect he won't sleep until he knows I haven't vanished again.”

I offer her my arm as we descend the winding platforms. She still looks worn out from her performance earlier, and I fear in her exhausted state that she will stagger and invite disaster. After seeing her safely into Jake's arms, I make my way to my own beloved.

He appears to be asleep already, his arms resting on his belly, his head lolled to one side. But as I climb carefully into the hammock beside him, he stirs, turning to nestle into me. I draw him to my chest.

“It has been too long since I slept with you in my arms,” I murmur, kissing his hair.

“It's only been three nights.”

“That might as well be an eternity, my darling.”

He snorts, lifting his head to kiss me. We lie nose-to-nose beneath the canopy of leaves and stars. He winds his arm around me and lets his fingertips trail gently up and down my back, making me shiver. His breath is warm on my face. I let my hand slip under his shirt, gently massaging along his narrow torso. I want to feel his body. I want to feel every inch of his flesh, warm with lifeblood. I press my palm to his breastbone, feeling his heart thump against my skin.

“You sure sleeping is all you want to do?” he chuckles teasingly. In spite of myself, I feel a hot blush blooming in my cheeks.

“...Sleeping is never all I want to do when you are in my arms, my love. ...But I do not think our present location is the proper place for anything else.”

“Maybe not,” he concedes, but I hear a note of mischief in his voice. He brings his hand up to stroke my cheek, and lets his thumb trail over my lips. “But we don't have to stay here, do we. We know all the secluded romantic spots in Elyys'tel.”

He shifts, kissing down my neck toward my chest. I can't help laughing. “An hour ago, you were yawning!”

“Maybe so, but I've had a nice little nap. And I've been dreaming of you playing quuk'tanoi. It's got me in the mood.”

“Well then,” I roll out of the hammock and offer him my hand. “The moon is beautiful tonight, my darling. Let us not waste it.”

He accepts my hand, climbing out of the hammock. As soon as his feet touch the ground, I sweep him into my arms, cradling him. He laughs, winding his arms around my neck.

“I think you're in the mood too, sweetheart.”

I bend to capture his mouth in a kiss. “Hold on tight,” I whisper against his mouth. “Don't let go of me.”

He tightens his grip. “Never, Varyyn. Not as long as I live.” He lets his head drop onto my shoulder. “I promise.”