#yes this is screenshot from tumblr i found on pinterest moving on-

[vvitchynerd]

my brain started hating these shorts as soon as i started trying to shade them or day 2 and 3 of drawing in krita and now i like it plenty

[fancy-rock-dove]

My two cents on the recent Tumblr Strategy Post

Some thoughts about the recent Tumblr Core Product Strategy summary post:

This? Genuinely kinda exciting. I know we all joke about the search function but it really would be nice if it were easier to find things again.

Tumblr please, please, if there is ever a possibility to let me search within my own liked posts? That would be so, so useful.

This? Is this what they call the increasing move to make Tumblr inaccessible without a login? This has been so, SO annoying recently, trying to share things with friends who are increasingly unable to see the content.

I support them incentivizing the ability to like things and find them later (rather than the screenshot platform cross posting that I think most people seem to use instead, e.g. Pinterest pins or twitter posts of Tumblr posts). But I think this would be far better served by the above point, making things generally easier to find within the platform, than trying to keep other people from seeing things.

NO. Please NO.

It’s the “all feeds” part of this that I hate.

Please do not touch my “Following” feed. One of the huge appeals of Tumblr is my control over what I see via rules which are known and predictable to me. Please do not change every available option such that it shows me things I didn’t ask for and hides or de-prioritizes things it’s decided I don’t want.

The organic, interactive nature of the site grows partly out of the fact that my experience is dynamic depending on the interests of the people I interact with, and isn’t some algorithmically-enforced horror that only shows me content for things that have interested me recently. I like having my horizons expanded thanks.

If this means they’re not showing the same post if more than one person has reblogged it? Then please don’t do this.

Seeing who among my mutuals has also found the same thing, and what each person is saying about it, is part of the real time conversation surrounding that thing.

What they say above this about keeping better track of different conversational branches on a reblog chain? That I could get behind. That I could be excited about.

I’ve seen a lot of people talking about this one.

Lots has been said about how dismissive this is of the fact that this is a microblogging platform, not social media.

I get what they’re saying about the difficulty of being very small and new, but I hope they’re talking about adding more to the “For me” feed, specifically. I feel horror at the prospect of losing my algorithm-free, chronological “Following” feed.

DO NOT.

THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY.

If I want to be here I will be here. I HATE this assumption that products need to insert themselves and be omnipresent and constantly remind me of their existence.

That apps and products in general have a right or even a duty to reach out and poke me, to grab my attention while I’m doing other things.

I WILL TURN THIS OFF IMMEDIATELY AND WITH PREJUDICE

Sure, yeah, theoretically this will get you more of my attention, this will advance the baseline goal of more engagement hours, but it belongs to the same class of thought that wants to expect absolutely no buy-in effort or knowledge from new users: maximizing certain blind metrics of “engagement” in ways that fundamentally change the nature of that engagement.

To me, this feels like Tumblr leaning into the mindset that it’s their job to shape what specifically people do and experience on their platform just because they’re doing it with a product provided by them. It’s the thing that, IMO contributes both to the wild engagement and the mindless, “junk food” feeling of both Twitter and TikTok.

Yes, it’s less work for users if you expand platform functionality to curate content for you, to start conversations for you, to want to open the app for you, to check for new content for you.

But the thing is, all of these things that we’re used to doing manually? That’s the essence of what engaging with the content here *means*. That’s part of the stuff we put in. It forms the core of the activity we are coming to tumblr.com to engage in. Right alongside writing posts or creating art or what have you.

Doing this stuff manually is part of what makes actively engaging with Tumblr more an act of creation and less an act of blind, thoughtless consumption than on other platforms.

The latter is easier, it maximizes engagement numbers, but in being easier it also loses substance.

Not to be over dramatic, but what is wrong with just providing a platform and letting people use it?

This is like buying a sewing machine and being told I don’t even need to do all those cutting and sewing steps because the machine will do it for me.

Like, thanks, but that’s kinda missing the point.

[tjkiahgb]

Cyrus’s Doppelgänger: An Investigation

I’m reminded of a joke from an old episode of The Simpsons.

In the episode, Homer takes a job in a different town. Shortly after he and the family arrive at their new house, his eccentric boss, Hank Scorpio, shows up to greet them. He talks about his moccasins and tells Homer he left him a pair, but if Homer doesn’t like them, then neither does he. He takes his moccasins off and tosses them away.

This exchange, which lasts all of five seconds, has led to years upon years of furious debate on the internet, which is weird because normally the internet just lets stuff go.

What did Homer mean? Did he say “Yes, once” because he just saw that very thing happen moments ago and the joke is about him being stupid? Did he mean he saw that same thing happen prior to that day and the joke is about the randomness of life?

The whole thing is so vague and absurd that the answer isn’t clear and both choices can be considered workable solutions.

Why do I bring this up?

Because I believe Andi Mack has a similarly ambiguous joke.

One which has caused a lot of strife.

One which has been on my mind for well over a year.

One which I determined I needed an answer to.

This called for an investigation. And not just any investigation. A cool, trendy, documentary series-style investigation, with multiple parts split up by stylish titles.

After half a year of research -- reviewing hours and hours of tape, conducting hundreds of interviews, and reading some notes -- I believe I may have found an answer.

This whole mystery begins back in episode four of season two. Titled “Mama,” the episode was directed by Eyal Gordon and written by series creator Terri Minsky herself.

In a scene that occurs about midway through the episode, Jonah teaches Cyrus how to skateboard and he says, “You’re one of a kind, Cyrus.”

To which Cyrus responds...

Stop and think about this for a second. What exactly is the meaning behind this joke?

I believe before we can begin to investigate any possibilities, we have to first look at the definition of the word “doppelgänger.” And the best way to do that is to go to the source.

One of the earliest English dictionaries ever produced is A Table Alphabeticall, published in London in the year 1604 and written by Robert Cawdrey. There are no known images of Robert Cawdrey so I made one.

Cawdrey’s dictionary still exists today. It is kept in the Bodleian Library at the University of Oxford.

Now, I’m not a professional investigator, but having watched quite a few of these documentaries, I knew the best move was to always follow your instincts. So I followed my investigator’s instincts and booked a first-class ticket on a non-stop flight to England to see the dictionary.

Well imagine my surprise and disgust when the stuffy librarians at Oxford wouldn’t let me handle the dictionary or highlight the passages I wanted. I tried to explain to them what tumblr was and they didn’t get it. They told me I couldn’t have their precious little dictionary even after I told them I came all the way from America for this!

And then someone started trying to tell me that Cawdrey’s dictionary was published almost 200 years before the invention of the word “doppelgänger,” so even if I could dig through A Table Alphabeticall, I wouldn’t find it in there. Let me tell you, I did not take that well. There was a lot of yelling on both ends and then they called security on me.

Long story short, I returned to America $12,000 in the hole and no closer to solving the mystery.

Once back in America, I decided to go to the Merriam-Webster website and look up the definition and take a screenshot of it.

I tried to make it look old-ish though. It looks like a scan from an old book, right? Okay. Cool.

Now, look at those definitions. The word “doppelgänger” is literally German for “double-walker.” Keep this all in mind as we move forward. We’re not talking about shared interests here. We’re talking about clones, we’re talking about mirror images, we’re talking about twins separated at birth -- things of that nature.

We’re also talking about ghosts? I don’t think this is a ghost thing though, so let’s ignore the second definition.

It’s also, I guess, just literally anyone who has the same name as you? That’s ridiculous. So, what, every John Smith has millions of doppelgängers? Dumb. So dumb. Ignore that definition, too.

Let’s just hone in on the one about seeing your look-alike.

So, when Cyrus says he’s met his doppelgänger, who is he talking about?

Fans, in discussing this joke before, had considered Iris as a possible solution.

In fact, it’s sort of commonly accepted that Cyrus is talking about Iris because she was still a part of his life at that time so she could easily be on his mind, and they share a lot of similar interests.

And, frankly, she’s really the only person this joke could’ve been about, if it was a reference to someone we’ve actually seen in the show.

But let’s think back to the definition of a doppelgänger. Does that really sound like it’s describing Iris? Again, this isn’t about those shared interests. This isn’t about how much you gel with someone. This is about seeing your visual counterpart.

For a refresher, let’s take a look at both characters from an earlier episode.

Now, the differences are subtle but I think if you really look closely you can tell they aren’t doubles because they look like entirely different people.

I believe we accepted Iris as the answer because she was there. It was convenient and it allowed us to move on. But thinking about it now, it was clear that choice was just to provide us comfort. That doesn’t mean it was correct. Far from it.

So, no, Iris clearly isn’t Cyrus’s doppelgänger. And if that’s the case, then who might he be talking about?

There had to be another answer. But what?

The trail went cold for several months.

Until one day I was rewatching the season two episode, “For the Last Time,” and found a game-changing clue.

In “For the Last Time,” Cyrus and Andi prepare a time capsule for Buffy before she moves away.

In the scene in which the two place objects into the time capsule, Andi chooses to add a picture of them at Costume Day in the 6th grade.

There! Stop!

Zoom in and enhance!

More! Zoom in and enhance more!

Not good enough! Zoom in and enhance more!

Dammit! I thought. Why was this happening to me, of all people? I was running an investigation, not a tile art workshop! How come when I shouted “enhance” at my screen it didn’t enhance?!

Faced with a dilemma, I did what any veteran investigator would do: I threw more money at the problem. After spending $2,300 on a completely new computer setup in an attempt to enhance, failing to enhance once again, and then spending two days going back and forth on the phone with IT specialists, I was told “enhance” was not a thing.

My inability to enhance was another tremendous blow to the investigation.

Or it would have been, except that the picture appeared another time in the show, in the season one episode, “Terms of Embarrassment,” when Bowie put it in his video for Andi.

Should I have started this chapter with this picture? Probably!

But I wanted you to know I had to suffer through several long conversations with IT nerds where they were constantly rude to me about what I could and could not do on a computer. They kept making snide remarks about how I spent way too much on a setup I didn’t need, and I kept telling them I called to get tech support, not a lecture. It was very trying.

Anyway, now that you know that, let’s “enhance” this picture.

Just as I had thought: Cyrus Goodman, wearing a costume.

But what was that costume? Who -- or what -- was he dressed as?

The hard work began again. After weeks of research, during which I spent thousands of dollars purchasing and reviewing Blu-ray movies and television show collections, I was finally able to make an educated guess. His costume appeared to be the fictional character Bunga.

To confirm, I went looking for official Bunga costumes on the internet.

I found only these toddler-sized ones:

Not a match to Cyrus’s costume. A set-back to the theory to be sure.

However, I assumed that Cyrus, since he is marginally larger than a toddler, also ran into the same problem I did and therefore had to make his own Bunga costume.

Luckily, if you were looking to make such a costume, there are a few pictures online of homemade Bunga costumes that could help guide you in the process, like this one I found from an enthusiastic fan on Pinterest.

Seemed like a match to Cyrus’s costume. The theory was back on track.

All of this led to the next important question the investigation needed to answer: who is Bunga?

Bunga is a character from the animated TV show, The Lion Guard.

This is Bunga.

According to one of the greatest sources of man’s collective knowledge, The Lion Guard fandom wiki, Bunga is Timon and Pumbaa’s adoptive nephew.

This raises a lot of questions, not the least of which about the nature of Timon and Pumbaa’s relationship.

Also, can you just adopt a nephew? What legal rights does that give you? Those of an uncle? What are those? Is that just the right to pick up your nephew from school when his parents are busy? The right to drink too much at a family gathering and start talking politics? The right to take your nephew to a horror movie he’s too young to see that’s going to give him nightmares for the next decade?

I interviewed several lawyers who told me Avuncular Law was not a thing. They also didn’t want to go on record answering hypotheticals about talking animals adopting each other. This didn’t really impede the investigation in any way, but it was wildly unsatisfying on a personal level to not get these answers.

Anyway, The Lion Guard fandom wiki tells us that some of Bunga’s personality traits include: “[having] a soft spot for baby animals,” “[being] somewhat of a comedian who likes telling jokes to his friends in which they sometimes find funny,” and “also at times, Bunga can be clever at times.”

Bunga is also considered very “brave.”

All told, it’s easy to see why Cyrus might be drawn toward Bunga. He shares some of his lighter traits, while he also likely admires Bunga’s courage.

So we know that Cyrus watches The Lion Guard and likes the character Bunga.

But what does that have to do with anything?

Well, if you dig a little deeper, here’s where the connection gets interesting. According to IMDb, Bunga is voiced by Joshua Rush.

Now you’re probably asking yourself the same thing I was: who is Joshua Rush?

Joshua Rush is an actor.

According to IMDb, he’s 5′7 and a half, bilingual, and also, Alec Baldwin once played a character named Joshua Rush in the 1980s.

I don’t know what that means.

What I do know is this: on Joshua Rush’s IMDb page are a collection of pictures of him, and that’s where I found the most staggering turn in the investigation yet:

I let out an audible gasp upon seeing this.

Now, mind you, I’d been so deep into researching this post at this point that hadn’t slept in well over four days and I was on so much cough medication I forgot shapes, but this was still absolutely shocking to me.

Look at these two side-by-side:

The image on the left is a promotional still from Actor Joshua Rush’s IMDb page, the image on the right is of Cyrus from a season one episode.

Now there are obviously some slight differences, like their facial expressions or where on their shoulder they rest the strap of their satchel, but besides that, Actor Joshua Rush’s likeness to Cyrus is stunning.

In fact, you might almost say he’s a mirror-image, a double, a... doppelgänger?

So that leaves us with the final question to be answered: has Cyrus Goodman met Actor Joshua Rush?

Picture, if you would, a voice actor meet and greet. Do you have the image in your mind?

Are you thinking of a convention center?

Are you seeing fans lined up to meet voice-over artists? They stand around for an hour or two awaiting the opportunity to shake a hand or take a selfie or get a headshot signed by one of their heroes.

Now imagine Cyrus Goodman being one of those fans. Waiting for a chance to meet the voice actor for his favorite character on one of his favorite shows: The Lion Guard.

He gets to the front of the line and sees the actor. Maybe they shake hands. Maybe Cyrus says something nice about his acting ability. Cyrus notes their similarities in his mind. Wow! We look so oddly alike! he thinks. There’s a German word for this exact situation. I’ll have to look it up later. But not in Robert Cawdrey’s A Table Alphabeticall, because I guess it’s not in there or whatever.

Perhaps, he also thinks, this could be an interesting little anecdote I might one day share with a friend while he teaches me to skateboard.

He departs shortly thereafter and leaves the convention center. The two never cross paths again, but Cyrus always remembers.

It’s plausible.

It’s definitely plausible.

But it’s not certain.

And unfortunately, plausible but not certain is where this story ends. Speculation is as good as we can do. I doubt we’ll ever get confirmation about this.

As best I can tell in my research, Actor Joshua Rush is one of those reclusive celebrity types like J.D. Salinger or Daniel Day-Lewis or Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Very quiet, reserved. Probably lives on farm somewhere. No social media accounts or anything like that. Definitely not the type to troll an entire fandom on tumblr with incomprehensible emoji clues. Make you spend several hours trying to figure out what 🌭 means like I’m some stupid modern day hieroglyphologist. Sausage? Relish? What does a burger have that a taco doesn’t?! It’s two in the morning and I’m fifteen paragraphs deep into the Wikipedia article for sandwiches, poring over the words like I’m on the precipice of discovery, like learning that “Oreos and Custard Creams are described as sandwich biscuits (UK/Commonwealth) or sandwich cookies (US) because they consist of a soft filling between the baked layers” is going to be the key to something, that it’s going to be meaningful to me in some way. Well guess what? Not even close! It’s fine. I’m not still mad about this. It’s fine.

I’m fine.

Dan Castellaneta, the voice actor for Homer Simpson, once told Buzzfeed he improvised the “Yes, once” response intending it to mean that Homer had previously seen someone say goodbye to a shoe. But, he admitted, the other interpretation was funnier.

And so that was that.

Years of debate settled with a whimper. The official version? The better version? There was zero forethought put into it. The joke was whatever you wanted it to be.

One thing is for certain, hearing from the actor didn’t help anything. In fact, it probably just made things worse. So I’ll tell you this much, the last thing any of us needs is for Actor Joshua Rush to ruin the mystery by weighing in on this. I never want to hear from him on it.

Never.

Never.

Because maybe it’s for the best we never get a concrete answer. The joke is whatever you want it to be. We are the makers of our own reality.

Me personally? I spent half a year working on this and I’ve learned to live in the mystery. To me, Cyrus’s doppelgänger exists and it doesn’t. It’s answered and it’s still a mystery. It’s Iris, it’s Actor Joshua Rush, it’s you and it’s me.

It is everything. And it is nothing.

And I accept that.

Or perhaps... perhaps I just tell myself I’m okay with that answer so I can try to sleep again at night.

[modesty-blaise]

Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

[mishasaurus]

Disclaimer

I do not make my posts, nor do I claim credit for them.

“But you post them! That’s misleading and leads people to believe you made them!”

Most people know a lot of these meme accounts don’t make their posts, and every once and a while I put disclaimers saying this exact message. But not once have I outwardly said “I made this post” If I did not.

⭐ I do make memes occasionally but you will see my watermark on it. ⭐ 

Contrary to popular belief, I do not screenshot and remove watermarks and repost things directly from tumblr. I have morals. I have never done that and I will never do that.

“Then where do you get your content?”

I get content from Pinterest, iFunny, Giphy, and Twitter. I also post Instagram posts but I do not have Instagram. I get those from iFunny as well. 

“But you’re still stealing!”

I get why you would say that. It doesn’t matter to some people on what I post and they still think I’m a terrible person, and I get that. You don’t have to follow me. I just wish people wouldn’t block me because they’re under the impression that I literally troll tumblr looking for posts to screenshot and download to repost.  

I do not do that.

Even though people have made up their minds about me already, I thought I’d share my efforts on not to post things that I consciously know are from tumblr.

I do not post gifs that are “tumblr size” because they’re most likely from tumblr. (Wide rectangles with no text are generally from tumblr that are with other gifs)

I do not post tumblr screenshots of older posts. I used to, but they were actual posts. I don’t like doing that like other popular accounts do.

If I like something and see a tumblr watermark on it, I won’t post it. “Why did you emphasize tumblr?” I do post Instagram posts and I don’t remove the watermarks so others can look at their account to find more of their content.

“‘I don’t remove the watermarks’ so does that mean you do remove SOME watermarks?” Only iFunny watermarks on the bottom (from the site when you save a pic it has the ifunny.co logo) also, I’m not that person who scribbles out someone else’s name and puts my own. That’s messed up. 

⭐I always reblog the things I like rather than screenshot them (as some people do)- if I found them on tumblr!⭐

So here’s my final message.

Directly stealing and screenshotting posts from tumblr creators is bad and a dick move that I do not do. I know some of you will say, “but you’re still stealing posts from tumblr, they just don’t have a watermark or you might not know it!” That can be true, but I try really fucking hard not to.

“Why? Is it even worth it?”

To me, yes. It’s not for a follower count. It’s for those individual people themselves.

I’ve gotten messages saying how much they like my posts. It really means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to some of them. If you want to block me because you’re afraid I’m going to “steal” your posts, you can. I don’t do that, but I’m not going to stop you. I do this for people who just want to have a little light in their day from my shitty memes or old grainy posts.

Last Note: To some of you, this is just an excuse. if you are still upset with what I post I'm deeply sorry that you still don’t agree. I at least hope you got clarification on why I do what I do. Have nice lives :)

[literaryfaeriecorner]

02/21/2021: Promotions, Old Friends, and Yellow School Buses

link to original post

February 21st, 2021

somehow i received a promotion at work last Friday even though i am literally probably one of the LEAST motivated people teaching at that school... fuck. so... now, instead of just being a regular-schmegular teacher, i am now the '6th grade head social studies teacher' which means that i have to run planning meetings for the social studies team, attend morning meetings discussing whole-grade growth and failings, and solutions for how we're going to get the kids to... not suck. uuuuuuggggghhhhhh!!! and this is for the rest of the year and the next!!!!

apparently, i am the 'perfect person' for this position because all of my classes have consistently performed better than the rest... but between you, me, and the entire internet, that speaks more to the abilities of my students than my own personal abilities as a teacher. i don't believe i'm a sucky teacher or anything but the fact remains that between work, grad school, delusional lovesick-related episodes, mental illness, and other varying distractions, i am not Doing The Best I Can. in fact, i'm literally in survival mode 95% of the time. the other 5% of the time, i'm in manic-as-fuck mode. so... do i really DESERVE this promotion? who even fucking knows? i like to believe, however, that i'll eventually figure out how to bullshit this new responsibility as well and no one will be the wiser. i mean, if this promotion came with a financial boost as well, i'd be more inclined to not fuck it up but, like... i'm doing more work for the same weak ass pay... i'm not as motivated with kind words and encouragement than i would be with a solid boost to my pay grade. anyway... whatever.

i was on tumblr the other day (i am fasting from all social media sites during the day for Lent but tumblr doesn't count because i literally just reblog five or six posts into the void, look at sad literature quotes, and log out just to do it all over again the next day... i am not addicted to tumblr as i am to twitter, instagram, pinterest, and linkedin... yes, linkedin. my quest to escape my job has led me down a very weird and addictive path) and i came across this post by user beetlejuices:

"isn't it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?"

and it is. i think so. i really do.

one of the things i've been conscious of in my early adulthood is that i am still chasing after the friendships i had in middle school. i wrote about this two Lents ago too. there is a memory that i remember so vividly in middle school and it reminds me constantly about how i felt so loved and appreciated and like the world couldn't go on without me if i somehow left or disappeared or went away. i think about it all the time. that is how freeing and loving and whole it is. just a simple memory of being three hours late to school (after a huge, blown out argument between parents who should've divorced years ago) and being startled by a flood of texts that starting pouring in at 7 that morning.

ashley: YOOOO where r u? they snagged all the donuts from the corner store!

alysha: you missed the bus this morning?

ashley: i bought donuts off eman 4 u... say im the best :D

kiera: U MISSED CRYSTAL'S FAT HEAD ASS SLIP DOWN THE STEPS LMAOOO

kiera: u're always here early u good?

alysha: are you coming 2 school today?

ashley: are u ok?

Christyl: don't forget we have a test in math!! where are you?

kiera: babe?

ashley: are you ok? why is ur phone off?

alysha: i just talked to ashley are u ok?

Christyl: where r u?

kiera: i just talked to ashley r u ok?

kiera: none of ur sisters r here either... u ok?

ashley: i'll call again @ lunch

alysha: pls be safe

Christyl: i'll tell the teacher you're sick and maybe you can take it tomorrow

Christyl: are you ok?

and even more messages that were sent during and inbetween classes... i thought it was a bit too late (and too time consuming) to respond to them all individually so after being signed into school three hours late, i decided to wait for all my friends at our table in the cafeteria to surprise them before explaining my mess of a morning. i was nervous because i thought they would be mad at me for some reason. but as soon as they saw me, ashley, alysha, kiera, and christyl, they came barreling towards me screaming my name. it was an entire scene. people looking at them crazy and then raising their eyebrows at me, not seeing what the big deal was. i probably looked the same exact way that i did the day before. unspectacular, bookish, awkward. they couldn't see what the big deal was. it embarrassed me but it thrilled me at the same time.

they nearly knocked me to the floor pushing each other to get to me first trying to steal the first hug. in the end, i stretched my arms out as far as i could and they all fell into them. we probably looked a mess. a tangle of brown legs, arms, frizzy hair, loose braids, and scuffed dress shoes. i remember feeling so loved and wanted. i felt bigger and grander than i was. i had stopped the world for five entire minutes and i didn't do anything. i was just existing.

i don't really talk to any of the girls anymore. i follow them on social media and i wish them happy birthday every year and we're all on each other's close friends list on insta... so i still know a few, if not all, of their secrets... but we'll probably never be as close as we were in middle school. and that's ok. i still love them as much as i did when they tackled me in the lunch room that day. i still root and cheer for them like we still spend every night after school on the phone for hours talking shit and planning presidential campaigns and gossiping about boys. i will never forget that day in the lunchroom. ever. and, like i said, it has only occurred to me now, as a young adult, that i've been chasing that kind of friendship and sisterhood since it happened.

i like to treat all my friendships as mini-romances. i remember a tweet that said, "friendships ARE romance," and i agree. i think i'm in love with all of my close friends, if not all of my friends. it's embarrassing (just a bit) but i have probably fallen in love with all of my friends at least once or twice. this is especially true for my group of college friends (at this point, they are really family). i have been in love, at least once, with all eight of them throughout our four years. i don't actually find this embarrassing like i said earlier. what's embarrassing is that this information might embarrass other people which, in turn, would thoroughly embarrass me. but the fact itself doesn't embarrass me. that is how i am. i fall in love and out of love at breakneck speeds. i think it's important to be a little bit in love with your friends.

i really enjoyed being in undergrad and planning literal dates between all eight or nine of us. and we would call it that. "what are we doing for our date next weekend?" "so who's going on the date tomorrow?" "are we cancelling the date or does the weather not matter?" (the weather always mattered.) my favorite college date was valentine's day senior year. we all went to korean-style karaoke and ordered so much food and drink we could barely stand to sing. we were all sat around the tv singing horribly to mariah carey or beyonce or rapping to nicki minaj verses. we took so many bad pictures and tone deaf videos and we kept leaning or hugging or holding each other's hands. that's another thing i love about my college family. most of us are touchy-feely people. i am a touchy-feely person. i'm southern and my mom is ridiculously gooey so one of my love languages, inevitably, is touch. i, usually, reign it in A LOT unless i have a partner but in college, i somehow discovered a whole group of people who loved to kiss each other on the cheek and hold hands and lean on other people, and lock arms. i felt at home. really.

maybe it's not only about old friends, though. maybe it's about feeling at home.

there was another post on tumblr and i think about it a lot. it's a screenshot of a tweet from twitter user @HumbleCore.

"HUGE NEWS: finally found my best friend from middle school on FB. We've both been looking for each other for over a decade. I told her I think about her whenever I play any boardgame or drive by a church. She told me she uses my name as her password at work. A perfect reunion."

when i read that the other night, i cried. i don't know why. it was heavy and ridiculous and i was worried my roommates would hear me. i don't know why i cried. at all. and even typing it out like that made me want to cry again. the feeling is not as strong or as overwhelming as it was the first time but it's still there.

i think about a best friend i had in first grade. even before i thought of ashley as my best friend (i have known Middle School Ashley since the first grade. i thought we were destined to be best friends forever and ever and ever, which is what i wrote in her middle school yearbook). his name was Malik. or Malique. my memory fails me. but anyway, i loved him like crazy. we didn't do anything without the other. we shared lunch together, we HAD to be partners on every field trip, i cried when Ms. Sanchez moved my seat from his in an effort to stop us from disrupting her lessons and i hated her for an entire week. (a very long time from a first-grade perspective.) even now, i think about him whenever i go to petting zoos or farms and when i ride on yellow school buses with my students.

Malik/Malique was my first kiss. we were hiding from Ms. Sanchez and the other chaperones so we could pet the goats one last time. while we were hiding behind a barn, he kissed me. "for good luck," he said. and then we sprinted across the farm to get back to the goats. and we pet them again before Ms. Sanchez found us and ordered us back on the big yellow school bus where we held hands for the entire hour-long ride back to school.

it's very silly to think now but in high school when i was trying to determine whether i loved my first boyfriend or not i remember thinking, "well, does he make me feel like Malik/Malique?" it's silly but sweet. at fourteen, still comparing the way he made me feel behind a barn at 5 years old to how another boy, years and years later, made me feel. it is silly but i think it's sweet.

i don't actually have any interest in finding Malik/Malique or knowing for certain what he does or how he's doing because i seriously doubt i had such an impact on his life, but i hope he's well and alive and happy because that's what i always naturally hope for when i pass petting zoos or farms or see bright yellow school buses.

so, yes. i think everything, us, our relationships, the entire world, is about old friends. all of it. every last bit of it.

i have a whole-grade data analysis, 300 pages of reading, and two mini-papers for classes to finish before tonight so i'm going to get going... i just wanted to write about old friends first.

[beria1021]

Get-to-Know-Me Game!

I was tagged by @sweetlittlevampire for this one! Thanks Rima!

Why did you choose your URL?

It’s a gamertag I’ve been using for a while, so I just carried it over to Tumblr.

any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have two! The first really functions as my main blog since I’ve mostly moved on from Tolkien and have been stuck in MDZS for a year now. It’s @forgotten-envies. I also have a blog of bad (no, really. Very little thought goes into it) poetry for when I want to create something small. It would take a bit more courage than I currently have to share the url of that one!

How long have you been on tumblr?

Okay is there a way to check? I think it was during quarantine last year but I don’t remember which month. May perhaps?

Do you have a queue tag?

One thing you should know about me is that I have a terrible memory. I don’t queue things often, and I don’t think I do??? Well not anymore I guess. If it’s queued it will be tagged “queue” does that count lol?

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

A very good question! I think I was bored.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Say what you want, but I think picrew is pretty cool. Plus I thought the facial expression on that one was funny.

Why did you choose your header?

Uhhh *checks what it is* OH! I really do like that thing. It’s been too long, but I believe that is Tolkien’s art of Rivendell? It might be someone else’s... Regardless! Rivendell is my favorite place in lotr and most of the fics I used to read took place while Estel was a member of the household. Also it’s pretty.

What’s your post with the most notes?

I... don’t really post on this blog? I’m not a content creator for lotr. - okay so I used a post counter thing and I have exactly 24 original posts. The one with the most notes is this, followed by this which seems fitting somehow.

How many followers do you have?

57! 💜

How many people do you follow?

163. My dash is a bit empty... I should fix that.

Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don’t think so?? But heck if I know what I’m doing.

How often do you use tumblr every day?

More than I should. If I’m ever bored, I check tumblr, close the app, thumb through my phone, open tumblr again, and lose brain cells.

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

Yep. Not in public, but they refused to tag something triggering for me. They are now blocked. I have since learned that you can block keywords, but I don’t really want to follow someone who refused to even hear me out.

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

Nope, nope, nope. I can see it’s function when it’s about a certain social issue, but I still don’t like it. It stresses me out.

Do you like tag games?

Yep! Absolutely! Hit me up! A majority of my original posts are tag games because the chain got a little long.

Do you like ask games?

Yes!! People spending the time to send me an ask to get to know me better makes me so happy!

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Most of them are larger than me, so I’m not really sure how to judge! @herenya-writes said she found one of her posts screenshot on Pinterest though. Does that count?

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope, but I think all you people are great!

Tagging @herenya-writes @gusu-emilu and @basket-of-epiphanies if y’all want to!

[caramelbombshellxoxo-blog]

How To: Be Yourself With Confidence

There’s only one of you, so why try and be a duplicate? I understand that you may be unhappy with yourself. Trust me, you’ll only be hurting yourself even more pretending that you’re “happy” being someone else. Finding yourself does take time and it does require a lot of work. Be patient and believe in yourself and God will help you recognize. If you don’t believe in God, that is fine; But you must believe in something: higher power? Whatever or whomever that higher power is, seek in it and you shall find. “If you haven’t found yourself, then who have you been trying to be all of this time?“ Usually, growing up, we are molded. Nature Vs. Nurture is how we all grow. You are molded by your environment and you are molded by “common sense”. Mainly, by the time we are in middle school we know exactly what we like and what we do not like. Then, we have already started building ourselves a profile. Find what you like in life and stick around that interest. Create your own unique profile WITHOUT looking at instagram, twitter, tumblr, pinterest, and youtube honeys. Most importantly don’t create your profile based on a celebrity.( Stay tuned) I will be revealing different ways where you can find yourself and create your unique profile soon. Listening to others plays a huge role in being yourself as well. For example: A lot of mothers tend to push career choices on their highschool children, which ends up making their child make the wrong selection and choice about who they want to be and their intended career choice. This applies too: A lot of females tend to sit on instagram all day stalking women’s profiles, screenshotting their pictures and then they find themselves copying their style and who they are just to turn around and post a picture looking the exact same saying “Im me and will always be.” Do not take that the wrong way. There is completely nothing wrong with butt injections, for example, or anything of the matter; the only problem is: is if you’re are getting them for the attention from others and not because YOU want to become more confident. It’s getting out of hand because every day there are less and less RAW females. Being yourself is seeking what is for you. Being yourself is seeking what you can vouch for. Being yourself is being comfortable in your own skin. Being yourself is when you dont wish you had anything other than what you already have. Being yourself is loving all of your flaws, not trying to change them all, and accepting yourself. I have always known who I was or at least I thought I did. When I started my spiritual journey in 2015, my main focus was finding my purpose in life. That too, helped me figure out who I really was. I knew then that I had to own it with confidence because confidence is what I really needed to work on, especially if I planned on executing my purpose. I looked in the mirror naked everyday. This allowed me to see every flaw possible. I then, took sticky notes and attatched them to the mirror and began writing on these sticky notes. “Yes your head is big but it is full of knowledge.” “You’re pigeon toed and bo-legged but you can still walk out of someone’s life, dont get it twisted.” “You’re so hairy but atleast you’re not baldheaded.” “Your body is so structured, people call it ‘manly’ but it’s beautiful, you’ll never have to worry about workingout.” etc. I have many more methods, but stay tuned and they will be revealed. Your confidence can be uplifted simply by changing your hair color, changing your diet, exercising, getting your hair done, getting your nails done, listening to a song, wearing makeup(of course it’s always a choice and is not needed). Don’t let anyone’s words discourage you. Forget them. You don’t need anyone who will call you anything other than beautiful. Also, surround yourself around people who will encourage you. Surround yourself around people who lift you up, especially when youre not feeling your best. Confidence comes from within, let us remember that you cannot buy confidence. Materialistic confidence does not last forever. Soon, you will still find yourself trying to “tweak” that one flaw. Soon, you will find yourself having those negative thoughts about yourself again. You have to be brave and fight those insecurities. You have to want to eliminate those insecurities one by one to become a better you; A better you starting with WITHIN yourself. Replenish your soul’s view point. If you’re beating yourself up about the way you walk, talk or even look then your soul is hurting and you have got to comfort your soul. People forget that, when we feel sad and cry and wipe our tears and keep it moving: Our soul is still hurting from that endurement. You have to talk to God, or someone. If you cannot talk to God, or even vent to God, then you must meditate. Reach your conciousness and construct your thinking and mindest. Educate yourself to the point where you are changing the structure and the way you are processing your own beliefs, feelings, thoughts and encounters. You want to become in control of YOU. I noticed, before I went on my spiritual journey that I was not in control of my thoughts, mind or feelings. Yes there will always be things out of our control and reach. For the most part, we can still learn how to cast those thoughts away. We can learn how to control our emotions to the point where you can ignore the negative energy that you’re are creating for yourself or even use that negative energy and turn it into positive energy. You are in control. God would not build you and give you a mind, heart and soul that YOU would not be able to control. Step back, assess, and take action. You got this. You are a bombshell and in that beautiful shell there is a bomb awaiting to explode, showing off the inside beauty that controls the outter beauty; Showing off what Real beauty stems from. You are the bomb, always and forever, remember that. If you don’t think that you’re the bomb, then who will? Me of course. Stay tuned to recieve more from Caramel Bombshell. Love yourself first. XoXo