Cheerful Oblivion
Thought that I was hungry for love…
Maybe I was just hungry for blood.
**********
I met a woman in a club once. Years ago.
Can’t get her out of my head.
If I didn’t still have the napkin with her number on it…
Well. Would’ve been easy to assume I dreamed the whole thing up.
It was a miserable night to be out.
Rain was coming down in buckets, flooding the streets. Could almost hear it over the music, pelting the roof.
But there she was.
Filling the entire doorway.
No coat. No umbrella.
Nothing but a black tank top and jeans that looked too tight to be comfortable.
Soaked to the bone, dripping wet, faded blue-raspberry-bright hair plastered to her neck.
She looked like she’d dragged herself straight out of the ocean.
In hindsight, maybe she had.
**********
England is only ever gray or green.
The girls glitter,
Striding glorious and coatless in the rain.
I remember falling through these streets,
Somewhat out of place, if not for the drunkenness…
It makes my chest hurt to think of it,
Not of regret, but of missing that…
…cheerful oblivion…
**********
I remember the way she stood there, caught under spotlight rays of blue and green, the rain on her face sparkling like diamonds…
She looked like an angel. Could’ve been.
Probably wasn’t.
More than likely…something else.
She didn't belong there. In the club.
I don’t mean that in a judgmental way. Maybe philosophical.
She didn't really seem like she belonged anywhere.
But I could see it in her eyes, almost fluorescent blue under the lights.
To her, it didn’t matter where she belonged.
What mattered was where she wanted to be.
And she wanted to be there.
In that club.
On that night.
I’d never been afraid of being noticed by a beautiful woman.
I craved it. Don’t we all?
This was different.
She was different.
Never felt my blood run colder than the second our eyes locked.
It felt like being hunted.
**********
It was not all pain and pavement slick with rain,
And shining under lights from shitty clubs,
And doing shitty drugs,
And hugging girls that smelled like Britney Spears and…coconuts…
**********
She flowed through the crowd like water, parting the proverbial sea, leaving a wake of awestruck stares.
If she knew she was the center of attention, she didn’t care.
She was a full head taller than anyone else, a titan amongst mere mortals.
Muscles rippled when she moved.
Wet skin shimmered.
I tried not to stare, I really did.
Couldn’t help myself.
I could’ve watched her for days.
She swept ashore at the bar, smelling like petrichor and oil slicks.
Ordered a drink.
Smiled down at me, sitting so small a million miles beneath her.
There was nothing human about that razor-sharp flash of teeth.
She asked if I wanted another drink.
Hadn’t realized I’d finished the one in my hand.
I nodded.
Couldn’t find my voice.
Tab’s on me, she’d said. Not here for long, least I can do.
After tonight, you’ll never see me again.
**********
And with your mermaid hair and your teeth so sharp,
You crawled from the sea to break that sailor’s heart.
You only get one night upon the shore,
So dance like you’ve never danced before.
And the dance floor is filling up with blood,
But, oh Lord, you’ve never been so in love…
**********
I asked her where she was from.
She laughed, a harsh bark of a thing that ripped out of her throat like it hurt.
Nowhere.
I asked for her name.
She didn’t answer.
But that animal grin flashed back, a bright white scar across her face.
For no reason, I thought about moths.
And flames.
We stopped talking.
Kept drinking.
Started dancing.
God, the way she moved.
Like a machine.
Like a predator.
Like a ballerina.
Equal parts precision, power, beauty.
I couldn’t keep up.
She didn’t seem to care.
I was a prop.
A plaything.
An entertaining little toy, something to keep her distracted.
From what, I didn’t know.
But it didn’t matter.
It felt like an honor.
**********
And the mermaids they come once a year,
They climb the struts of Brighton Pier,
They come to drink, they come to dance,
To sacrifice a human heart.
And the world is so much wilder than you think.
You haven’t seen nothin’ ‘til you seen an English girl drink…
**********
I do still see her. Sometimes.
In my dreams.
In those hazy amber-clad memories.
It’s hard to know what was real.
Don’t know who she was.
Or what she was.
Never did call that number.
Not sure she’d really wanted me to.
Probably for the best.
I get the feeling that if we’d been in that club alone together…
She would’ve eaten me alive.
And I think I would've let her.
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Martha Jones - Jesus Christ parallels (never thought i'd write a sentence like this)
there's the other one who has sent me
For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say. (John 12:49-50)
Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. (John 5:24)
I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. (John 5:30b)
I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world. They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him. (John 8:26-29)
[...] for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. (John 8:42b)
etc., and so on...
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So with the hangout.. do you think that settles the issue of mistranslation or not of Kaeya and Diluc being brothers?
is it even possible to settle it? i feel like there must be some insane cultural difference between me as a western person and chinese people when it comes to adoptive siblings because, i honestly don't see how the biological son of the guy you consider your adoptive father isn't, by extension, your adoptive brother; how would that relationship not be familial? even when you bring in the "sworn brothers" trope as a means of queercoding, which is a concept ive had explained to me more than once – like, okay? i agree that it's true you can't properly translate/localize that, but. how else did you want them to translate it? even if the word brother was never used once in the eng translation, how do you make it so that kaeya and diluc calling the same guy "father" doesn't imply some uncomfortable things if he and diluc are romantically involved..? but then, who knows, maybe i just don't have enough knowledge about how censorship works in china, how they do queercoding over there, how they deal with adopted relationships, whatever. it's fine. different cultural upbringings, no? it's funny when it's the western side of the fandom discussing this, though. because you'll have these extremely white people arguing with you about the intricacies of chinese BL media. as if either of us knows what the hell we're talking about. anyway, none of this matters in the end because most klc shippers just... like the incest. and the day we stop arguing about mistranslations and simply accept that people either 1) see this relationship in a different light due to their cultural background or 2) are a little bit of a freak online is the day i will finally know peace as a kaeya fan
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This person followed me and sent this ask within a few minutes of doing so.
I have this setting enabled so I can avoid getting dick pics as someone who gets nauseous when they see genitalia, and guess what the photo is? It’s of this person’s submissive in a vulnerable position w/ their dick out
That is NOT something you send someone in your first message, I don’t care what kind of negotiations you made with your sub to show them off to strangers, but you need the stranger’s consent as well. Not getting consent before sending me this shit just makes me think you’re incapable of respecting boundaries
Not to mention the blog in question mostly posts political takes about how the left are fascists or whatever the fuck else
I’m only not showing their name because I’m still feeling triggered and volatile and if I post their name I’ll probably be really mean
Do not do this to people with photos that aren’t yours to share. That shit is private. Even if it wasn’t I never in any of my content implied I wanted pics from strangers.
Kindly fuck off ❤️
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