#yes. returning to. my education this september

[outlying-hyppocrate]

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS FINE WITH MY APPEARANCE I REMEMBERED THAT I HAVE TO GO BACK TO HELL????????????

[shelyue99]

A timeline re the friendship between Dick Winters and Lewis Nixon, in Dick’s own words.

Officer Candidate School(OCS), Fort Benning, April 1942

During my time at OCS one of the officer candidates caught my attention. Lewis Nixon was the son of privilege and wealth. Born September 30, 1918, Nixon was the grandson of the last man to design a battleship as an individual. Educated at Yale and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "Nix" was far more educated than most of the members of the class. —Beyond Band of Brothers

Toccoa, August 1942

Later we served as platoon leaders under Sobel's command. A special bond always exists among the platoon commanders in any military company, particularly when they perceive their own commander as 'the enemy.' I stayed in Easy Company, but Nix was transferred to higher headquarters. He drank too much, but he was also very conscientious. He was conscientious in his own way, on a man-to-man basis, and he always looked at what would best benefit the battalion. —Conversations with Major Dick Winters

Camp Mackall, February 1943

In addition, a number of Easy Company's officers were transferred to battalion staff, including Lewis Nixon, Clarence Hester, and George Lavenson. As I had grown quite fond of Nixon, I was sad to see him leave Easy Company. —Beyond Band of Brothers

Normandy, June 1944

"Nix" and I completely understood each other. We possessed a common understanding about leadership, of how troops should be employed, and how battles should be fought. On reflection, Nixon always seemed to be around. We had known each other from our days in Officer Candidate School at Fort Benning and at Toccoa, but our friendship was not cemented until Normandy.

After the fight at Brecourt, I had requested additional ammunition for my men. When none arrived, I went to battalion headquarters myself, where I saw Colonel Strayer and his staff studying the map that I had found on one of the guns. I blew my top, which was totally inappropriate considering my rank. Nixon, however, was instrumental in obtaining that ammunition. Later, when we aboard the LST returning from France, he approached me and asked that I deliver a lecture on leadership to the rest of the officers at battalion. That caught my attention. —Beyond Band of Brothers

Holland, Septembre 1944

By the time we jumped into Holland, I was so lonely that I needed someone in whom I could confide my inner thoughts. That someone was Nix. Whenever the bullets began to fly, I could turn and there stood Nix. He always walked on my left side, one or two steps behind me. This was his token of respect for me as a commander. —Conversations with Major Dick Winters

From a personal standpoint, I would have been devastated had Nixon been killed. As a leader you do not stop and calculate your losses during combat. You cannot stop a fight and ask yourself how many casualties you have sustained. You calculate losses only when the fight is over. Ever since the second week of the invasion, casualties had been my greatest concern. Victory would eventually be ours, but the casualties that had to be paid were the price that hurt. In that regard Nixon seemed a special case.

As different in temperament as Nixon and I were, he was the one man to whom I could talk. He provided an outlet that allowed me to unburden myself as a combat leader. —Beyond Band of Brothers

Mourmelon, March 1945

Nixon's return to battalion staff was the result of his repeated drunkenness. Colonel Sink recognized Nixon's tactical brilliance, but he was fed up with his excessive drinking. One day Sink visited me and asked me point-blank, "Can you get along with Nixon?"

"Yes, sir, I can get along with him."

"Can you get something out of him?"

Again I responded, "Yes, sir, we work together very well."

"Would you like to have him back?"

"Yes, sir, I would."

"You've got him."

And that is how Nixon returned to battalion staff. From a personal perspective, it was nice being reunited with Nix. —Beyond Band of Brothers

Mourmelon, March 23, 1945

The 101st was allowed to send observers, so I dispatched Captain Lewis Nixon. Fortunately, for Nixon, he was assigned to be jumpmaster of his aircraft. As he approached the drop zone, his plane was struck by heavy antiaircraft fire. Nixon and three other men made it out of the plane, but the rest were lost when the plane crashed.

Nix remained with the 17th Airborne Division for one night and was then returned to 2d Battalion at Mourmelon on a special plane. Nix's brush with death left him visibly shaken, particularly when at this stage in the war, no one intentionally put himself in danger now that victory was at hand. Captain Nixon found his usual retreat in alcohol that evening, but I was glad to see him safe. —Beyond Band of Brothers

Joigny, September 16, 1945

Capt. Nixon left this week, which makes everything just dandy. I am about as lonesome as a lovesick swab who married a Wave on an eight hour pass. —Hang Tough

On reflection:

On the surface no two individuals were more diametrically opposed in temperament than Nixon and I. I was a confirmed teetotaler and never swore. I preferred a quiet evening in the barracks to the nightlife of Columbus, Georgia, or neighboring Phenix City, Alabama. Despite the differences in lifestyle, I sensed we shared mutual feelings and ways of looking at life. I could understand him and help him understand me, as well as understand himself. Our friendship evolved naturally, and he soon became my closest friend. Lewis Nixon was the finest combat officer with whom I served under fire. He was utterly dependable and totally fearless. —Beyond Band of Brothers

In hindsight, Nix probably needed me as much as I needed him. He was undoubtedly the coolest man under fire whom I ever encountered in combat. —Conversations with Major Dick Winters

[46ten]

I was just learning the fact that Cornelia and Kitty fought Eliza for the inheritance, I knew her brothers did it but I didn't know about the sisters. I was surprised because they seemed to be close with her before their father's death. I know Kitty and EH reconciled because they became closer in later years, but what was her relationship with Cornelia? Did Cornelia die still fighting for the inheritance or did they reconcile? And in general how all of this affected Eliza's relationships with her siblings? (I wonder how AH would have helped EH in all of this if he were alive. Perhaps PH would have named him as one of his executors of his last will)

The dispute between Eliza and her siblings seems to have grown out of what they felt was over-generosity towards her from Philip Schuyler's attempts to financially assist her after AH's death. There were rumors of him giving her cash, and then there was the matter of the land deed executed before PS's death.

[So without AH dying, I doubt the dispute would have happened. And yes, I think AH would have been one of the executors of PS's will had he been alive. The three executors were Philip Jeremiah Schuyler (his son), JB Church (son-in-law), and Stephen van Rensselaer (former son-in-law/Margarita's widower).]

Specifically, when EH went up to Albany in August 1804, PS set in motion a plan to give her a land deed of 80 acres of his property in Albany - he notes in letters in July/early August/September how much he wants to assist her and her children by whatever means possible, emotional and spiritual support, but also financial support.

The paper deed was executed but not delivered to her, however, before she returned to NY and prior to PS's death. As such, some of her siblings argued that the 80 acres deed was null and the property should be counted towards the inheritance for all 8 children (or their children, as two of PS's kids were already dead - Margarita and John Bradstreet) and split. This is what led to the fight with Caty/Kitty and Cornelia's husbands, as EH is clear in a letter to her brother Philip Jeremiah that she believed her brothers'-in-law, G. Washington Morton (married Cornelia 1796) and Samuel Malcolm (married Kitty 1803) were behind this effort. To be clear, EH fought that the 80 acre deed should be hers exclusively; took about 5 years to resolve, but it was and she sold it, as she especially claimed to need the money to pay for her children's education. Read more here: Schuyler Mansion State Historic Site: Schuyler Siblings Land Squabble

Cornelia died in 1808, and it's not clear where their relationship stood, as the issue was still unresolved at the time. They were clearly still tight in Nov 1804, prior to PS's death: The Eliza Papers — Elizabeth Hamilton to Philip Schuyler, 1804 (tumblr.com). To read my posts on Cornelia and her terrible husband (Philip Schuyler disliked him! So he lost a bunch of PS's papers! ), see here: 46ten — How not to behave at Philip Schuyler’s home (tumblr.com); 46ten — Schuyler elopements (tumblr.com)

To read more about Kitty and Samuel Malcolm, who had been John Adams' secretary, see here: 46ten — Sister Church is still with us. She goes in less... (tumblr.com); 46ten — 46ten: Kitty, who is looking over my shoulder,…... (tumblr.com) 46ten — Philip Schuyler, described by his youngest... (tumblr.com); 46ten — Philip Schuyler to Elizabeth Hamilton, 1797 (tumblr.com)

Cornelia (b 1776) and Kitty (b 1781 - she would have been named GW Schuyler if a boy! or so claimed PS in his letter to GW, likely part of an attempt to assuage any ill feelings over his brand new son-in-law pulling the stunt he had, which AH also would not have pulled if PS wasn't his father-in-law) knew 'Brother Hamilton,' as they called him, their whole lives and were very close to him. Both girls spent time living with the Hamiltons in Philadelphia and NYC. They also had children named Alexander Hamilton Morton (b 1800) and Alexander Hamilton Malcolm (b 1815), respectively, so it doesn't seem that their husbands objected to EH and her husband all THAT much, but once money is involved....

See some speculation on the relationship between EH and Kitty here: Schuyler Mansion State Historic Site: My Dear Sister: Eliza and Caty Post-Schuyler Sisters Land Squabble

To the rumors that PS had given EH thousands of dollars, that seems very unlikely, as he was notably cash poor. But over the years, PS undoubtedly supported the Hamiltons financially, providing them not only with goods from his farms and mills, but cash to EH for paying for the boys' education (particularly while AH was Sect of Treas, which makes AH's efforts to make sure bonds were funded pretty self-interested - there's quite a lot of "I'm not benefiting!" while his closest family and friends, many of whom provide him funds outright, or provide him with goods, or give him interest-free loans, are benefiting handsomely.)

Some of the siblings could have been resentful, not only of PS's support but of his general favoritism towards the Hamiltons - see here for PS sending his son Rensselaer to live with the Hamiltons to learn from their good example: 46ten — Philip Schuyler to Elizabeth Hamilton, Albany,... (tumblr.com). But PS seems to have helped out all his kids - or at least once he reconciled himself to their poor choices in spouses - EH may have been the only one who chose a spouse PS approved of from the beginning! He saved timber for the Churches to build a home, provides funds and property to his sons, etc.

Post PS's death, EH's relationship with her brother Philip Jeremiah, for example, seems fine The Eliza Papers — Philip J Schuyler (tumblr.com), she's just admonishing him for not doing more to help her resolve the claims and points out that people are talking about how little help her brothers - PJ and Rensselaer - are providing, considering how much the Hamiltons' friends have stepped up to help her.

The other matter that persists between the siblings was much older - the division of the estate Catharine Van Rensselaer had inherited (parts of the Claverack) - which was a legal fight practically from the time AH joins the family, and one in which he offered advice. There's definitely "when is that every going to be settled!" angst between the siblings so they can finally resolve the matter of their mother's inheritance.

[katkeyboardmastah]

The Young Xehanort inconsistencies

Originally posted: September 3rd 2022.

I want to slowly migrate some of my Kingdom Hearts lore musings instead of just sharing links:

Speaking of links, the original Google doc version of this post can be read HERE.

First up! The YMX doc that I had made after playing through the remainder of Dark Road's story.

Disclaimer: I will only reference material such as in-game cutscenes, interviews and Ultimanias, so other supplementary pieces such as the novels and the like will not be considered. Everything written here is my own personal interpretation. Interview translations were done by KHInsider.

Putting everything else under the cut cuz boy this is gonna be a long one-

First of all, let us review the updated timeline provided by KHDR itself:

----------------------------------------------------

So, Kingdom Hearts Dark Road did not shed light on a couple of things, Xehanort’s eyes becoming golden being just one example. While I cannot say anything concrete about the hows and whys behind the fact that his eye colour changes at some point in time, I CAN, however, make an educated guess as to why the time-travelling Young Xehanort seems to flip flop between gold and silver eyes.

(Xehanort throughout time: 9 years ago, KHDR’s story, 7 years later and 54 years later)

Xehanort’s eyes are naturally silver throughout his youth. Chronologically, the first instance we see him with golden eyes, if we rule out time-travel, is when he is already in his late years, as an old man, 54 years AFTER KHDR. The latest point in time shown to us before that era is when Xehanort leaves Scala Ad Caelum, 7 years AFTER KHDR’s main story. Meaning, the point in which Xehanort’s eyes change colour can be ANYWHERE between age 22/23 and 69/70, assuming the Xehanort in the main campaign is 15/16 years old (if we take Nomura’s statement from TGS 2018, that old man Xehanort is around 80 into account).

Here’s the big kicker though: What about the time-travelling Young Xehanort? In both KHDDD and KHIII his eyes are gold. But then you might say: Well, maybe he was pulled from that blank period of time you just mentioned, his early 20s onwards? The problem with that is the fact that the encounter between Xehanort and the Master of Masters takes place only ONE YEAR after the main events of KHDR. Additionally, in the second part of that very same encounter Xehanort implies that he has already time-travelled at least once:

The MoM: Sounds like you already know where you’re headed. YX: It’s funny. Somehow, I can sense where I’m supposed to go, and what I’m supposed to do. Yes, even this coat, there’s something familiar about it, as if I’m meant to wear this.

This corresponds with what he told Sora in KHDDD:

Since in both KHIIIRM’s and KHDR’s version of the scene his eyes are silver, this means that upon time-travelling they become gold but upon returning they go back to silver. My answer for this ‘switch’ can only be the following:

YX: I will return to my time, and grow into the man who becomes all these others. While I know this future now that I have lived it, returning to my own time will erase the memories and experiences I have gained here. Still my appointed path is now etched in my heart, which will first lead me to seek the outside world. (will return to this part later in the post)

The old man Xehanort gave Young Xehanort a piece of his heart.

Which sounds kinda ridiculous (even for KH standards), but I can prove that might be the case. Let’s remember who makes up KHIII’s true Organization XIII:

The recompleted Master Xehanort, the version furthest on the timeline;

The recompleted people turned once more into Nobodies: Xigbar, Saix, Marluxia, Larxene, Luxord, Demyx and Vexen. The last two being reserve members;

The versions of Xehanort pulled from the past but came to be after KHBBS-era Master Xehanort: Terra-Xehanort, Xemnas and Ansem Seeker of Darkness;

The non-Xehanort characters pulled from the past: Vanitas, Xion and Dark Riku (Replitwo);

The first of the Xehanorts, the Xehanort of the most distant past: Young Xehanort.

You can see that none of the other members aside from YX originate from a time before KHBBS. And as it is now established, this iteration did not originally have golden eyes. To add onto that, as stated in group 4, these 3 were the only characters that travelled to the future by having their hearts be placed inside replicas and are not a version of Xehanort. Vanitas is debatable because we don’t  know if he had that eye colour inherently even when his face changed to reflect Sora’s or was it because of old man Xehanort. The statement about Vanitas originally having red eyes while he was still faceless does not apply because its source is solely the KHBBS novel, which is not canon material. Replitwo’s change is more noticeable since you can directly compare him with the original Riku Replica who even appears in the same scene as him at the very end. As for Xion’s change, it’s only visible if you bump up the brightness while her face is not fully covered or mod out the shadow cast by her hood. If there is a need for official confirmation that these 3 characters do come from the past look no further than this chart from the KHIII Ultimania:

Do note that ‘eliminated’ can also refer to simply returning to their own time period but ceasing to exist in KHIII’s time as it’s said in Young Xehanort’s section of the very same chart.

Ok but, why would there be any need for this. Simple, that version of Xehanort was not ready to handle the darkness the same way old man Xehanort does yet. He needed the Black Coat or the armour or any other form of protection. And as seen in KHDR itself, were it not for the MoM saving him in the Dark Corridor, he would have perished. The following lines from the second encounter cement this further:

The MoM: No… you’ll ditch it soon. YX: What do you mean? The MoM: I mean that one day you’re going to outgrow it. YX: How so? The MoM: If you truly possess great power, the darkness can’t control you. You won’t need a silly old coat to stay safe. In fact, you’ll be the one controlling the darkness instead.

It wouldn’t seem far-fetched either knowing that the explanation behind the Young Xehanort boss fight at the end of KHDDD that the Ultimania provides is this:

Question: Did King Mickey’s time magic not work properly on Young Xehanort because Young Xehanort has the power to control time? Nomura’s answer: Not Young Xehanort’s but rather Master Xehanort’s power. King Mickey was surprised at the time, seeing his Keyblade and noticing he harboured the power of Master Xehanort…

Additionally, aside from King Mickey, Master Xehanort and Young Xehanort are the only other characters who directly take note of Sora’s reckless usage of the Power of Waking in KHIII and KHIIIRM, meaning that at the very least, YX was imparted with such knowledge as well the power to transcend time, which he receives from potato sack Ansem SoD.

The secret endings to KHRe:Coded in the KH HD II.5 Remix collection are another piece of evidence, because we see YX already in place before KHDDD begins, ready to gather the remaining vessels. Meanwhile, since both Ansem SoD and Xemnas have been vanquished, Master Xehanort should by now exist at this point in time as himself given how the same thing has happened with the other ex-Nobodies of the Organization.

To add onto that video we finally have a confirmation from Nomura himself that yes, the design used in KHDR that depicts Young Xehanort’s time on the Destiny Islands is the correct version while the one used in KHBBS and KHDDD is outdated according the most recent Q&A:

Now here’s the funny part. When did Young Xehanort time-travel? Or a better question, if KHDR has revealed that his initial encounter with potato sack Ansem SoD was not the point from which he began his journey to the future but rather his what led him to Scala Ad Caelum… did he encounter him again at some point which finally did spur him to time-travel?

Sonny Novus made a video about how fleshing out Xehanort’s backstory by deaging him even further caused more problems in hindsight and I believe it still holds up so I recommend watching it if you haven’t done so by now.

Question: In previous titles, we saw the Xehanort who leaves Destiny Islands as a young man. He seems a lot younger in KHDR. Nomura’s answer: KHDR presents the correct version. For previous games, we used the young man model we already had as a catch-all symbolic representation of "his youth," in order to save cost modelling a young boy version. In KHIII, they were specifically split. I'd like you to interpret it as the symbolic representation becoming a rich one.

So the only time Young Xehanort could time-travel to the future while still having a consistent design with the one we see in KHDDD and KHIII can be anywhere between the point he changes his hairstyle and his second encounter with the MoM that takes place 1 year after KHDR’s main campaign. Thus, confirming that he could not have possibly transcended time after his first encounter with potato sack Ansem SoD. While it does go in line with the implication that at the time, Xehanort did not realise he was talking to a version of himself, it still contradicts another line in KHDDD by suggest that his now forgotten time-travelling escapades were not the reason he sought out the outside world by rather his dreams of the Player’s life (or lives).

YX: Still my appointed path is now etched in my heart, which will first lead me to seek the outside world.

Putting this contradiction aside, there should have been a second encounter between these two during that 1 year year interval. Either YX found his way back to Destiny Islands or has met potato sack Ansem SoD somewhere else, realising that he is a future version of himself, which would finally spur him to travel forward in time.

Now let’s address the other elephant in the room, Young Xehanort’s Keyblade. We still do not have an official name for it but what we do know is that it’s supposed to be No Name (the goat themed Keyblade) with the hourglass keychain you can see on No Name (the Keyblade you receive after defeating Mysterious Figure aka. Young Xehanort in the Land of Departure).

Nomura: That Keyblade was designed as the one Master Xehanort used in KHBBS combined with an hourglass, you see. (KHDDD Ultimania)

It’s weird, because you can easily interpret that scene in KHDDD as him technically borrowing MX’s. Not to mention that he does not use a Keyblade at all in his fight as the Mysterious Figure in KHBBS. But come KHIII and KHDR, where in the former, YX still uses his unique Keyblade, while in the latter he uses the nameless default Keyblade of that era (KHML has its own default Keyblade too judging from the footage) even during his encounters with the MoM. Let’s try to wrap our heads around this without just saying it’s a retcon that we should move on from:

Nomura changing his mind about plot beats and having genuine oversights is nothing new, there are more examples in this series one could ever hope for, like the eye colour switch that started this whole document. If you recall, the first time we have ever seen an even younger version of Xehanort was in KHIII’s E3 2015 trailer (man I feel old), where his eyes were gold. And in the finalised version of the same scene, his eyes have been changed to silver.

Ok, so let’s say that from YX’s own youth, without his time-travelling escapades, he wields the default Keyblade all the way until him and Eraqus become Keyblade Masters 6 years after KHDR’s main campaign, then they inherit No Name and Master’s Defender respectively to use them from that point onwards. Now winding back to the interval of about 1 year between the ending of KHDR and YX’s meeting with the MoM, you can say that he somehow gains another unique Keyblade upon travelling to the KHDDD era and decides to stick with it in KHIII as well. The time of KHBBS in which he travels to become the Mysterious Figure in order to grab Vanitas for the true Organization XIII, you can maybe stretch it and say that he possibly has foregone that unique Keyblade (or any at all) during that particular fight, much like how Xemnas does throughout the whole series despite also having the ability.

From that you can guess that Nomura reconsidered the meaning of the golden eyes. Because from DDD (not counting BBS since that game only implied it) up until KHIII, when someone would have that colour it would mean they were a vessel of Xehanort or, if we are to use the fan-coined term, ‘norted’. I think we all collectively assumed that Anti-Aqua was actually one of the 13 vessels when she was revealed in KHIII’s Frozen trailer in E3 2018, only for that to not have been the case at all. If anyone needs a refresher for her Gummiphone entry:

Anti-Aqua: Aqua, after she fell to darkness. Years and years of wandering through the realm of darkness ended with her being cast into the watery depths beyond its margin.

Sure, for the members of the true Organization you can say that this still applies (again, Vanitas being debatable) but it’s not exclusively golden eyes = Xehanort’s influence anymore. It’s as if they are meant to represent darkness like they have been prior to KHDDD. And this change sort of makes sense, since the story’s focus is shifting heavily to be about the primordial darknesses and shifting back to how one can fall to darkness due to strong negative emotions. One can conclude that maybe Xehanort’s eyes have changed from silver to gold over time due to him actively trying to become a “dark vessel” as seen in KHDR, and that subsequently, since he has gained them, they have become a trait of his other selves. A parallel to this scenario is how the characters on the protagonist's side associate the Black Coat with the Organization even though, in truth, it dates back much further back into the past.

Like I’ve said before, KHDR did not manage to cover and explain every single facet of Xehanort’s life, for better or for worse. However, it did give a lot of context to preexisting scenes and other character moments in the series, and I think it did a good job at that. As for the remaining mysteries such as the now discussed golden eyes, the fate of Scala Ad Caelum and more, depends entirely on whether or not Nomura wants to or has the chance to flesh out, much like how KHDR’s existence itself was once in a lifetime opportunity to dive deeper into the mind of one of the most important antagonists in the series.

I know what you're probably thinking: the Dark Seeker Saga, which depicted the battle against Xehanort, finished with KINGDOM HEARTS III, didn't it? Well, it's a grey area, but I wouldn't call this title part of the Dark Seeker Saga. Why? Because this isn't about battling against Xehanort—it's about the battles of Xehanort.And maybe you're thinking that's a bit of a reach, but… okay, maybe it's a bit of a reach. However, I had the concept in my head for many years. It got shelved because it never really fitted what our team wanted. But around then, I heard from the Union X team that they'd like to do a parallel title with a new protagonist. And, since it seemed there was an unexpected number of Xehanort fans out there, it all came together like it was destined to be. I do tend to believe in destiny. (Tetsuya Nomura on the launch of KHDR in June 2020)

Author’s note: Sorry if this turned out to be more of a ramble than an actual theory post but… I wanted to say that… I feel content with this story, even without the answers I may have wanted. I still thoroughly enjoyed following Xehanort’s journey from start to finish, which made me like him more as a character even. Anyhow… thank you for bearing with me and I hope you have a wonderful day!

[consanguinitatum]

David Tennant in Drama School: A Podcast Teaser....Just Because

Earlier today two posts I saw on Twitter - but which didn’t initially appear connected - made that ever-present "David Tennant in drama school" connection happen in my brain. It made me think...was it a sign? Perhaps it's apropos to feature the teeniest tidbit from my podcast research? The first real teaser-thing-whatever where I reveal actual DT drama school unknowns?

I had to think about it for a while, but I eventually came 'round to it.

(And oh, as an aside, my podcast will be called A Tennantcy To Act. So that'll be what it is, whenever I get the bloody thing off the ground. Grrrr.....)

Anywaaaay, here's the teaser story.

Our story begins with a tycoon – Reos Stakis. I'm pretty sure Scots of a certain age will know him. He came to Scotland from his native Cyprus in 1928 to sell lace, and from those meager beginnings, he created the Stakis dynasty of hotels, restaurants and casinos. Reos was knighted by the Queen in 1988, and in 1998 sold his leisure chain to Ladbrokes for over 1.3B pounds. He was also a legendary philanthropist, giving millions in donations to public institutions, educational facilities, and charities. One of these was the Royal Academy of Music and Drama. I know this will seem like a wild swing from the subject, but this brings me to one of the things I saw today. This short video is a heartwarming paean to true love, and I encourage you to watch it. It features two iconic British actors, Timothy West and Prunella Scales.

If you're young, you might not know who West and Scales are. Scales is best known for playing Sybil Fawlty, the bossy wife of Basil Fawlty, in the BBC comedy 'Fawlty Towers'. And West is an accomplished stage actor, especially in Shakespeare.

We'll return to West and Scales in due course. For right now, we'll turn back to the Stakis family and their donations to the Royal Academy of Music and Drama, now the Royal Conservatoire. (For the rest of this post I'll be referring to the RCS as the RSAMD, as that was what it was called during this time period.)

Reos Stakis had a son, Andros. Andros became the managing director and deputy chairman of the Stakis empire in 1988. And oh yes.....he held varying positions on the board of the RSAMD from 1989-1991.

As you may (or may not) know, the years of these board positions coincide almost perfectly with David's years at the RSAMD. David began his tenure at the RSAMD almost exactly 35 years ago - he enrolled in late September 1988, and graduated in June 1991 with a BA in Dramatic Studies.

The donations made to the RSAMD by the Stakis family made some exciting opportunities open up for the students attending the Academy...David amongst them. The RSAMD decided to use these funds to create what they called Stakis Masterclasses.

Stakis Masterclasses were on a wide range of topics and were designed to accommodate all RSAMD students, drama students and music students alike. For example, music students could attend classes by recognized musicians on various instruments like the cello, the trumpet, or piano. With regards to drama, they were a novel venture indeed! Their classes were opened to both students and the public, and gave a public audience of lay and professional people an insight into specialist areas of the drama process. They did this with the help of established actors. Tickets were usually free at the door, though for some of the classes tickets were available in advance to drama students and the public. Topics were as wide ranging as how to use one's voice, how to portray comedy, or how to read verse.

The classes began in 1989, and by 1991 they were an established part of the RSAMD experience. One can imagine David attended some of these classes, as his interest in perfecting his craft has been ever-present. Exactly how many he attended isn't known.

But one is!

It so happened a famous acting couple - Timothy West and Prunella Scales - were touring together in Long Day's Journey into Night at the Theatre Royal in Glasgow in March 1991. As Prunella had done a previous Stakis Masterclass in 1989, it was not surprising she would do another - this time joined by her husband.

So on 26 March 1991, Scales and West agreed to do Masterclasses for the RSAMD. The couple did a double-act on Acting Verse - Scales concentrated on the Shakespeare sonnets, while West helped students work on speeches from the plays. After finishing the classes, Scales and West (and the entire 'Long Days' company) were guests of the school for lunch. The couple then lead a discussion with the company and students, who that evening attended a performance of Long Day's Journey Into Night at the Theatre Royal.

This brings me to the second post I mentioned at the beginning - you know, the other which clicked in my brain? It's this one and it shares that tomorrow David will appear on BBC Four to reminisce about his role as Hamlet before the channel airs a repeat of his 2008 turn as the Dane.

But you see, contrary to popular belief, 2008 wasn't his first go at Hamlet. He'd done it before.

Yep! He'd played Hamlet in that Timothy West and Prunella Scales masterclass. And while I don't know how much of the play he did during the class - perhaps it was only a few lines, or a soliloquy or two - it was enough of an effort to get remembered.

And that, my friends, is the end of the story.

[clarynewme]

Hi! I’d be interested in knowing more about my chart and future spouse! I was told randomly that my current transits are good for meeting a life partner!

I was born may 8th 2002 at 10:08 pm in Paris 🤍

Thank you in advance!

Hi😊 For your reading I am going to use mostly vedic astrology.

To answer your question yes you have really good/strong transits.

In D1 chart taurus jupiter is transiting your major taurus stellium(mercury +saturn+venus+mars+rahu) in 7th house including 7th lord venus, this indicates you might meet your fs or long term partner this year, maybe through travel/education or he could be a foreigner or from a different culture/ethnicity/religion (rahu influence); through business together(7th house).

Moreover Pisces/virgo Rahu/ketu is transiting your pisces moon Darakaraka(spouse) in 5th house of dating/romance. It's likely that this will happen suddenly and fast👀.

NOTE1: Taurus jupiter is transiting until next year 9 june 2025 so 2025 is a good chance as well.

D9 CHART

In your D9 Jupiter (significator of spouse) is in pisces 8th house being affected by pisces/virgo rahu/ketu, possibly meeting your partner through a transformative/intense period of your life (dreams, manisfestation, occult, twinflame energy are relevant).

Now aquarius saturn is transiting your 7th house Aquarius ketu, this could be a past life partner, soulmate, twinflame or even getting back with an ex (if you've had one).

D7 CHART

Looking at your D7 chart you have saturn (7th lord D9) in pisces in 10th house and virgo sun in 4th house. This could mean meeting through career as well and big change in your career, he might upgrade your status/reputation and bring you sucess in career.

When jupiter, saturn, rahu/ketu are transiting in the same or opposite sign of sun, saturn, rahu/ketu in D7 chart it indicates a major event might happen during this time of your life like meeting your future spouse or a partner, engagement, pregnancy, career,success,fame, breakup, divorce, moving out, etc.(This technique is by Camila Regina from tiktok).  

DASHA/TIME PERIODS

You are currently running ketu-venus dasha from 2023 till october 2024 (venus is your 7th lord and means love). I am leaning towards eclipse season in september pisces moon DK in 5th house and also the solar eclipse virgo in october). Then you also have good chances in 2025 when you go through your gemini jupiter return; saturn in pisces will transit your moon DK in 5th house in D1 chart ( serious dating/relationships), among other factors.

Though from the conversation we had before it's possible the person you met could be a potential long term partner or your future spouse. Cause when you met this person was during solar eclipse in pisces affecting your pisces moon Darakaraka and the moon was in rohini Taurus transiting your 7th house and 7th lord venus.😳👀👀👀

If you want to know specific time periods or more you can DM me. 

NOTE2: Remember that we might have many soulmates and potential long term partners.

SOLAR RETURN

Bearing that in mind I am going to use solar return of 2024/2025.

From the 7th lord sign and 7th house energy we can see what kind of person you will meet,  probably one of his big 3 placements and how your relationship would be.

You actually have 7th house Capricorn which means this would be a connection based on career, financial stability, responsibility, status, reputation, respect, discussions about work and goals you wish to accomplish, working together, etc. (He could be your coworker, boss, menthor or employee)

With 7th lord aquarius saturn in your 8th house confirms the financial energy, shared resources  joint ventures, inheritances and transformation. Intimacy is also prominent. You could discuss about innovative ideas around finances and make pratical plans to help each other. He could be wise, mature, stable, hardworking, intense, unique, have unconventional ideas/values related to intimacy and finances, spiritual, open minded, supportive, intelligent, psychic, deep, intuitive,  could have older or wiser friends; values stability, intimacy, solitude, spirituality, freedom, money ; strict, serious, went through ups and downs in life, etc. Could be ambivert, only truly opens up to his loved ones, aloof , controlling and pessimistic if not managed. Could have intimacy issues or be afraid of deep connections.You can have a psychic/intense/deep connection,  intuitively knowing what the other is thinking. You can do artistic projects together, do meditation together or spiritual practices, night dates, go out with friends, go to the night club, participate in activism, charities, shopping together, spoiling gifts, physical touch, intimacy, conversations under the moonlight, sharing secrets, communicating about feelings/trauma/fears, etc. ( 8th house can also represent karmic/soulmate/twinflame connections.) With saturn in 8th house it could be slow burn romance (delay in advancing in the bedroom) and/or friends to lovers.

However on a negative way could show possessiveness, jealousy, money loss/delay, control/health issues, codependency, oversensitivity, exploitation, power struggles, depression, anxiety, solitude, detachment, fear of vulnerability, deception(lies/secrets), expectations, high standards, third party issues between friends or other coworkers, controversy, affair etc.

Balance between solitude and partnerships is crucial as well communication to overcome traumas/fears.

These aspects I had to research a bit more:

Now 7th lord saturn is aspecting  venus + sun  + moon in 10th house by 3rd aspect so this can show difficulties in balancing the emotional needs, personal desires, romantic need and professional  responsibilities, (you might prioritize work over relationships; high standards; expectations from society/family; ego clashes; detachment from commitment; boredom; restricted emotions; sacrifices; financial issues).

This could be eased by communicating openly, evaluate priorities, setting boundaries, etc.

One of his big 3 placements could be same or opposite sign of 7th lord so aquarius or leo.

NOTE3: Since you met him one month before your birthday he could also have libra or aries (from 2023/2024 solar return chart) or even both like aquarius sun and aries moon for example).

DARAKARAKA

In regards to your pisces uttara bhadrapda moon Darakaraka in 5th house  your spouse could embody these characteristics: family oriented, emotional, sensitive,sweet, kind, nurturing, romantic, dreamy, idealist, attractive, charming, open minded, supportive, guru, motherly, optmistic, funny, wise, creative, intelligent, wealthy, spiritual,intuitive communicator, writer, poet, psychic; values home, family, childhood, solitude, spirituality, creativity, hobbies; loves travelling, children/kids, meditation,  arts; mysterious , lucky, fortunate, optimistic,curious, youthful, spiritual/religious, stable, dualistic, honest/blunt, pessimist, lazy, depressive, overgiving, naive, oversensittive, complex emotions(ups/downs) etc.

DK is aspecting scorpio ketu in 1st house by 9th aspect which indicates learning about spirituality/creativity, intellectual discussions about dreams,spiritual beliefs, dark/occult themes, intimacy, sharing secrets,trauma,fears and emotions; secret hobbies; personal growth. There could be confusion (ketu) of personal identity and emotional vulnerability (might struggle expressing emotions).

Lastly DK is aspecting gemini jupiter 8th house by 4th aspect which means understanding/discussing deeper truths, feelings about relationships,philosophies,etc; healing/transformation/sharing secrets through creative pursuits/activities.

JUPITER

Jupiter is also significator of spouse/marriage, your jupiter is in ardra gemini: blunt, striking, transformative, intense, chaotic emotions/mind, intelectual, emotional,  curious, communicative, flirty,  charming, dual, flexible, talented, mimicking impressions, etc. Examples of ardra natives are Taylor Swift, Taeyong (NCT), Ariana Grande, Drake, Robert Pattinson, etc.

7TH LORD D1

Your 7th lord rohini taurus venus it's in 7th house with rahu+mercury+saturn+mars. This means your partner could be beautiful, sensual, hot, passionate,intense/complex, unique/different, famous, attractive, well dressed, influential, ambitious, stable, wealthy, creative, romantic, possessive, youthful, curious, goal oriented, leader, talented, fair, respected, hardworking, business oriented, communicative, playful,  teasing, flirty, loves spirituality/arts/technology/nature/learning; values family, luxury, comfort and money; mirror you (twinflame/soulmate energies -> 7th house), serious, strict, controlling, jealous, dualistic, agressive, shopaholic, etc. This also shows a strong focus on creative partnerships and doing business together maybe in foreign countries or with foreigners, etc. With saturn energy there can also be a delay in financial gains and fame/sucess (for you/spouse). You can also marry later after your saturn return. There could be misunderstandings, conflicts between desires and responsibilities (financial issues or fluctuations).

7TH LORD D9

7th lord in D9 nakshatra and sign could also show future spouse characteristics and how will be the marriage.

You have 7th lord saturn in cancer pushya (conjunct ashlesha venus+ mars) so there is another strong confirmation of emotional/financial stability/personal growth; Spouse can be attractive, caring, supportive, nurturing, charming, intelligent, generous, overgiving, oversensittive, nurturing, emotional, intense, passionate, grounded, ambitious, hardworking, assertive, good advisor, have conflict resolution skills, values family and finances, respected, intuitive, transformative, agressive(burst of anger), possessive, jealous, great manegement skills (finances)etc.

APPEARANCE + CAREER + SYMBOLISM

When it comes to appearance fs would have feminine features; smooth/soft feet; prominent chest; round jawline; defined/muscular; beautiful high pitched voice or strained/hoarse;  attractive short neck; prominent lips; average to tall height; have reddish or dark features; piercings/tattoos; defined hips/butt; beautiful/balanced features (face+body); unique/exotic or exagerated features (ex:large eyes), different culture maybe, etc (You can find more from Camila Regina tiktok🤌)

For your future spouse career I am trying out this tecnique the 10th sign from 7th lord in D1 or D9 could indicate possible fields: 

D1 Aquarius so anything related to spirituality, technology, engineering, healthcare, alternative medicine, arts, creativity, research and development, entrepreneur, environment, science, politics, social service and community, charities,etc.

D9 Cancer(with mars+venus+saturn) anything related to healing, healthcare, creative arts, teaching, education, business, finances, politics, social/community service, hospitality, customer service, etc

Regarding your meeting, pay attention to symbolisms of these signs: 

Scorpio:occult, night, dark, hospital, funeral, nightclub, scorpion, mall, death,sting, surgery, private, secret, spiritual, blind date, transformative place, intimacy, finances, etc

Sagittarius: horse, arrow, Bow, education, travel, foreign, OK cupid, shooting, spirituality, museum, adventure, risk, culture, college, etc.

NOTE4: scorpio 2x from vedic ; Sagittarius 2x from tropical chart 

(This technique is by Camila Regina on tiktok💗)

Vedic Astrology placements D1/D9 (includes atmakaraka AK):

Virgo/Pisces/Scorpio/Taurus/Gemini/Sagittarius/Aquarius/Leo (libra or aries because you have major stellium in 7th house)

Jupiter, Mars,venus, moon, saturn, mercury,sun nakshatras/influence

Okay I think I am done😅 I hope you like this reading if you do leave feedback on my page🙏 And let me know if it resonates👌it helps improving my readings🫶💜

[my-never-ending-nightmare]

Richard Cyril Rescorla (May 27, 1939 – September 11, 2001) was a British-American soldier, police officer, educator and private security specialist. He served in the British Army as a paratrooper during the Cyprus Emergency in the 1950s before joining the Northern Rhodesia Police in the early 1960s. He subsequently enlisted in the United States Army and served in Vietnam, fighting in the Battle of la Drang and rising to the rank of colonel - after which he entered the private sector where he worked in corporate security. On the morning of September 11th 2001, he was working as the director of security for the financial services firm Morgan Stanley in the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

When American Airlines Flight 11 struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center at 8:46 A.M. Rescorla heard the explosion and saw the tower burning from his office window on the 44th floor of the South Tower. Before United Airlines Flight 175 struck the South Tower at 9:03 A.M. the Port Authority began making announcements over the P.A. system urging people to stay at their desks to help ease the evacuation of the North Tower. Rescorla ignored these announcements, grabbed his bullhorn, walkie-talkie and cell phone, and began to systematically order the roughly 2,700 Morgan Stanley employees to evacuate before saving an additional 1000 employees in World Trade Center 5. While watching the news coverage, in a phone call to his best friend, Dan Hill, Rescorla reportedly said, "The dumb sons of bitches told me not to evacuate," and, "They said it's just Building One. I told them I'm getting my people the fuck out of here." Survivors of the World Trade Center recall that he directed people down a stairwell away from a bottleneck on the 44th floor, keeping people away from elevators while telling them to remain calm.

Rescorla had boosted morale among his men in Vietnam by singing Cornish songs from his youth, and the survivors of the World Trade Center say he did the exact same that day, singing songs such as one based on the Welsh song "Men of Harlech":

Men of Cornwall stop your dreaming; Can't you see their spearpoints gleaming? See their warriors' pennants streaming To this battlefield. Men of Cornwall stand ye steady; It cannot be ever said ye for the battle were not ready; Stand and never yield!

Between songs, Rescorla was able to call his wife, Susan, who recalls him telling her, "Stop crying. I have to get these people out safely. If something should happen to me, I want you to know I've never been happier. You made my life," to which Susan replied, "You made my life, too." After successfully evacuating almost all of Morgan Stanley's employees he went back into the building. When one of his colleagues tried to stop him by saying that he should also evacuate, Rescorla replied, "As soon as I make sure everyone else is out."

He was last seen on the 10th floor of the South Tower, heading upward, shortly before it collapsed at 9:59 A.M.

Welles Remy Crowther (May 17, 1977 – September 11, 2001) was an American equities trader and volunteer firefighter who is credited with saving as many as 18 lives in the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

After Flight 175 struck his tower he called his mother from his office at 9:12 A.M. leaving the message, "Mom, this is Welles. I wanted you to know that I'm okay." He then made his way to the 78th-floor sky lobby where he encountered a group of survivors. He then began to carry a badly injured woman on his back while directing the other survivors to the one intact stairway. The survivors followed him 17 floors down, where he dropped off the injured woman he was carrying before heading back upstairs to assist others. By the time he returned to the 78th floor, survivors recall that he had a red bandana around his nose and mouth to protect him from smoke. One such survivor, Judy Wein, was suffering from a broken arm, cracked ribs and a punctured lung while she watched Crowther attempt to extinguish fires before beginning to administer first aid to herself and others. He then announced "Everyone who can stand, stand now. If you can help others, do so" before leading survivors downstairs. As they reached the street, Crowther turned around and began heading back up the stairs. 

He was last seen with members of the FDNY tending to survivors shortly before the South Tower collapsed at 9:59 A.M.

Brian David Sweeney (August 10, 1963 - September 11, 2001) was a US Navy Flight Lieutenant, Fighter Pilot, and one of the passengers onboard Flight 175 when it was flown into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

Just three minutes before that happened he was able to call his wife from Row 32 of the plane, leaving a voicemail in which he told her "I'm on an airplane that's been hijacked if things don't go well and it's not looking good, I just want you to know I love you, go have a good time, same to my parents and everybody, I just totally love you and I want you to do good, bye Babe, I'll try to call you."

Sue Kim Hanson (July 28, 1966 - September 11, 2001) was onboard Flight 175 with her husband, Peter Hanson, and their 2-year-old daughter Christine when it was flown into the South Tower. The family was on their way to California for a trip to Disneyland and to visit family. The youngest of the eight children who were killed on 9/11, it was Christine’s first time on an airplane.

Stephen Gerard Siller (1967 - 2001) was a firefighter with the FDNY. On the morning of September 11th, 2001, Siller was on his way to play golf with his three older brothers when he heard about the attacks at the World Trade Center. He called his wife‚ turned around‚ and headed back to the firehouse to collect his gear before heading to the towers, where he was last seen alive.  

Mychal Fallon Judge (May 11, 1933 - September 11, 2001) was a Catholic priest who served as a chaplain to the New York City Fire Department. On September 11, 2001, upon learning of the attacks at the World Trade Center, Judge rushed to the site. He was met there by the Mayor of New York City, Rudolph Giuliani, who asked him to pray for the city and its victims. Judge prayed over bodies of jumpers lying on the streets before entering the lobby of the North Tower of the World Trade Center where an emergency command post had been organized. Once there he continued offering aid and prayers for the rescuers, the injured, and the dead.

When the neighboring South Tower collapsed at 9:59 a.m., debris went flying through the North Tower lobby, killing many inside, including Judge. Judge's body was then carried out of the North Tower by a group of firefighters and police officers shortly before it collapsed at 10:28 a.m. This act was photographed by Reuters photographer Shannon Stapleton and subsequently became one of the most famous photographs taken that day.

Judge's body was then placed before the altar of St. Peter's Catholic Church by the firefighters and police officers who had carried him out of the tower.

Sergio Gabriel Villanueva (1968 - 2001) was an FDNY firefighter serving with Ladder 132 when he was killed in the September 11th attacks. Villanueva‚ who was engaged to be married‚ had spent eight years as a New York City police officer before joining the FDNY.

Ruben D. Correa (1957 - 2001) was a 13-year veteran of the FDNY serving with Engine 74 when he was killed in the September 11th attacks, taking him away from his wife with whom he had enjoyed 21 years of marriage and had three daughters.

Moira Ann Reddy-Smith (1963 - 2001) was 13-year veteran of the NYPD and the first police officer to report the attack after she witnessed American Airlines Flight 11 being flown into the North Tower of the World Trade Center.

Putting the safety of others before her own, Smith rushed to the towers to aid the victims and help survivors evacuate. There she was photographed leading an injured man to safety.

She was killed when the South Tower collapsed at 9:59 A.M. and was posthumously awarded the New York City Police Department's Medal of Honor.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

I posted 11,793 times in 2022

1,107 posts created (9%)

10,686 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

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@maroonsunrise83

@musette22

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I tagged 4,262 of my posts in 2022

#amber recs - 1,412 posts

#comment reblog - 702 posts

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#sweater writes - 94 posts

#curtis everett - 74 posts

#artwork - 74 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#the way they made these husbands 100 percent support there family and extended family is the high standards in disney dads i now expect

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter One: Freightyard Education

Summary- 2.4k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. The first field trip of the year with your middle school class landed the bus in the Duluth's Freight Yard, intent on teaching the children about the city's vital industries. You were ready with the kids and your flashcards, what you weren't ready for was the large man with the icy blue eyes and quiet demeanor showing you around.

A/N- This became a personal passion project around January and I'm in love with this soft series where Curtis is given something good in a modern AU setting. You all have been so supportive of the snippets I have shared about these two, so thank you for that. It has certainly kept me wanting to write and excited to share Curtis and Honey. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics A HUGE thank you to @what-is-your-plan-today for betaing this project. Remember, likes are nice, shares and comments really keep creators going. 🍯🐝

Masterlist

“So you ready for the rugrats coming to visit the yard?” Edgar questioned the second Curtis stepped out of his truck in the train yards employee parking. Tugging his beanie on to combat the early September chill that signaled the beginning of fall, he arched a brow in question while he grunted.

To be fair, it was more of an answer than Edgar was expecting. The younger man was used to it, Curtis was a man of few words. It's what made his presence almost commanding. He only said something when he had something to say. “Gillian just filled me in,” Edgar explained as he looked at Curtis, who gave a small nod of understanding, “The mayor is funding an educational thing where we teach kids what jobs are available around here.”

“As long as they dont get in the way.” Curtis shrugged as he shed his extra jacket and tossed it in the truck's cab before closing his door and locking it. “This place is too dangerous for kids to be running around.”

Edgar started following him, hands in his pockets to warm them up as they both entered into a rundown building where the office was. Punching in his time card, Curtis stuffed his paperwork in an allotted slot, Edgar mimicking his actions. Across the room the office manager was on the phone, agitation coming through her tone.

“Well you sending that 10:30 train up that North track is not gonna do me any damn good when the buyer was expecting that shipment YESTERDAY.” The men paused at the desk, listening as Tanya unleashed a whole mess of words on the poor person on the other end before she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, yes I will call them and fill them in. Just make sure it gets here, the last thing I need is to be made a liar.” She hit the end call and turned towards Curtis and Edgar, her anger diminishing and good nature returning like it was on the head of a pin. “I'm guessing you two are looking for this?” She held up a shipping manifest which Edgar snatched and scanned it. “Well that ain't too bad.” Curtis glanced down at the paperwork in Edgar’s hands as the young man examined it. Tanya continued on.

“Nope, why I think you and Grey can handle it, he's already down in the yard. Curtis, Gillian has something else for you. He’s in his office, just go on in Sweetheart.” Only Tanya was allowed to use terms of endearment on Curtis.

“Thanks Tanya.” He tipped his head in a nod and left, leaving Edgar leaning against the counter, making eyes at Tanya and whining out.

“Come on Tanya, why does Curtis get the good jobs? You don't love me?”

“Boy you got some growing to do before I be sweet on you, get your ass out of here.”

See the full post

385 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#4

Purr For Me

Summary- 1.8k Ransom x Kitten. Ransom comes home in a foul mood due to his family using Blood Like Wine resources for Joni's new venture, which also happens to ruin weekend plans he had with you. You though are all about cheering Ransom up.

Warnings- Oral (female receiving) Squirting, Use of pet name.

A/N- Written for @pagesoflauren I Love Y'all 3000 Challenge. I am EXTREMELY late, so thank you Lauren for being so understanding. Prompts will be italicized. Likes are appreciated, Reblogs and Comments are gold. Thank you for reading.

Masterlist

You had just kicked off your heels in your closet and headed right for the kitchen to pour yourself a rather large glass of red wine.

An extra large glass. Friday had not come soon enough and you were thoroughly ready for the weekend. Work had been endless meetings for an upcoming case. Johanna Klein had kept you at her side the entire time, taking notes and discussing in depth what she expected from the research team.

You deserved this glass. That first sip turned graced past your lips and you felt yourself starting to unwind. This weekend stretched ahead of you and Ransom had already promised you earlier this week that he was unplugging from Blood Like Wine as well, that perhaps you two would take a drive to Hampton, knowing that a weekend in your favorite hotel would benefit the both of you.

About to head into the living room to put your feet up, the front door slammed hard enough to make you jump. “What the-” You muttered, a bit shaken at the sudden intrusion of your post Friday wine. You set your glass down to go find what caused Ransom to shut the front door like he was trying to break it off the hinges when he stalked past the kitchen, his scarf rippling behind him till he reached up to rip it off, muttering the whole time to himself. His face was stuck in what seemed like a permanent scowl from what you saw.

“Ransom?” You called after him, peeking around the entrance to the kitchen to see the large oak doors half open in his study. “Babe?” You tried again as you approached the door. Pausing at them, you pushed against one to make it swing open, seeing your man behind his desk, searching in one of his drawers.

“Where the fuck did I put it? I know it’s in here somewhere.” He practically snarled out while you went to the liquor trolley you had set up across the room. Pouring a double shot of whiskey, you brought it over to his desk, twirling the glass gently in front of him to catch his attention which made his head shoot up and cold crystalline blues honing in on the aromatic liquor.

“You didn’t hide it, it’s on the liquor trolley Ran.” You reminded him as he took the glass and shot most of it back at once. Your brows arched in surprise when he didn't savor it. “So…” You moved around the desk, carefully moving his laptop to the side and perching on the edge in front of him. “What happened, Ransom?” You let a foot run up and inside of his calf and he simmered silently for a few more seconds. You were patient, you knew that he would eventually spill what was bothering him.

“Joni, that fucking hippie cunt roped Walt into her newest bullshit venture, so by extension me as well.” He finished his drink and set the glass aside. “Walt took some of Blood Like Wine profits and used them to invest in her newest bullshit line which now we have the books going into print for ‘The Cleanse Of The Goddess.’ What the fucking bullshit is she even on with this? Walt booked an interview that I need to attend to make sure it isn’t a complete shit show. He sprung it on me today that fucker.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“So we are not taking off this weekend?” You asked cautiously and he shook his head.

“Thanks to that prick, no.” He sighed, his hand dropping to grasp the back of your ankle and pull your foot in his lap, his hand massaging it gently. “How about you and some of your girlfriends go to the spa instead? Just not Joni's. I refuse to sink more money into that bitches bullshit. You girls can do the cucumbers on the eyes, mud smeared all over and compare whose man has the biggest dick.”

You snorted hearing him, busting into a laugh and shaking your head. “No need, I already won that conversation a long time ago, Ransom. I got all my girlfriends jealous.” You winked at him while hooking your foot in the arm of the office chair and pulling it closer to you. “And I’m fine with staying home this weekend Ransom. Saturday you do your thing with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.” You gripped his chin and leaned in to press a kiss to his mouth. “And then Sunday we can do whatever you want, you know… stress reliever.” A slight nip to his bottom lip made him smirk as his hands slipped up the back of your calves to grasp the back of your knees and pull you to the edge of the desk, each one of your feet bracing on the arm of the office chairs arms.

“You must allow me to tell how ardently I admire and love you, Kitten.”

You let your legs part further, catching the interested gleam in his eyes. “Tell me more.”

“Trust me, I will. But why are we waiting till Sunday? I have all night with you before I have to leave.” He slid up your skirt up your lap, kissing against your knee. You let your hand fall to his perfectly coiffed hair and brushed your fingers through it to brush it back from his forehead, purring at him. More kisses along the inside of your thigh made you quiver with anticipation while his fingers rubbed at your cunt through your panties.

“Whatever was I thinking Ransom?” You lifted your hips to let him hook a finger into your panties and tug them down your legs while he sucked a kiss into your inner thigh. The harshness of it blossomed into arousal that made you whine sharply. Ransom promptly balled up your panties and stuffed them in his pants pocket.

“Save them for tomorrow, something to remind me what I’m coming home to.” Large hands slid up your thighs and pressed them wide open. You fell back to lean on your elbows while watching him between your thighs, he abandoned kissing your inner thighs and instead he spread you open. A drag of his thumb pad slid through you, making you bite your lip as he sucked on his finger pad. His tone dropped dangerously. “Already soaked, you're such a whore for this cock aren't you Kitten? Come on… purr for me.”

You felt another wave of arousal escape while nodding with encouragement, your toes curling in anticipation. Ransom could have dragged it out, making you wait. But you smelled so good, would taste even better and he just wanted to forget this clusterfuck of a day by making you cry out his name. He lapped at your cunt, digging his fingers into your thighs to keep you from closing around his head just yet. Your hand instinctively buried in his dark hair, rolling your hip upwards to meet him as he sucked on sensitive flesh and circled through your folds in just the way that would make you roll your eyes upwards for a moment at the sensation. “Fuck Ransom, fuck- I love your mouth so much.”

He would have responded, some snarky remark but he was busy lapping and sucking on your clit, teasing that little nerve to have your thighs pushing to enclose around his ears, bordering on almost too much even though you gushed again. Ransom easily spread your thighs once more with ease that made you whine in disbelief.

Ransom pulled back to watch you clench before he ran his tongue around your hole. “I love how fucking messy you get.” He spread your slick, making your folds glisten. Filling you with a finger, your velvet walls clamped around him, your hips rocking all on their own.

“Don’t stop-” He sucked on your clit again, making your legs shake while he fingered you open with the addition of another. Scissoring you open, he continued dragging you to the edge, now your hand shot to fist in his hair and you pressed his face into your cunt while you gyrated into his almost to perfect face.

It was mindless now, the way you chased after his tongue, the praises he continued muttering whenever he would lift his gaze through his lashes to see you start to fall apart. His chin came away smeared in you. “Come on Kitten, you're not gonna give me anymore?” His fingertips struck just right, dragging against that sweet spot that snapped your legs closed against his head and locking in place. Ransom kept going, sucking your clit again while stroking you, tapping, teasing, anything to bring you over.

It was overwhelming, the sensation that flooded you was so sudden that you ended up screaming his name in surprise when your body just felt so fucking good, your hips arching off the desk and you slammed your hand against the wood with a loud slap. The rush of wetness flooded, squirting all over Ransom. “Fuck” You half sobbed out as your muscles just seemed to let go, your thighs falling back open and your body releases to sag against the desk. Ransom smirked as he took one last drag of tongue through your quivering cunt before lifting himself to a stand, leaning over the desk to see you looking so good all wrenched out and fucked from just his mouth.

“I ever tell you how much I fucking love you, Kitten?” You mewled lightly with a nod, Ransom gripped your chin to tilt your head to face him. “What was that?”

“I think you were going too earlier? But got distracted?” You countered and your gaze dropped from his face to his shirt, his expensive shirt that was darkened from your release. “You are a mess, Ransom.”

“Thanks to you Kitten.” He wriggled his brows with pride. His lips were a bright swollen red and you couldn't resist tilting up enough to kiss him, slowly letting your taste flood your mouth, clutching at his shirt to pull him further down.

See the full post

561 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

#3

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet Masterlist

You left behind your life in New York for Lake Superior, settling in Duluth, Minnesota as Mason Academy's newest eighth grade teacher. You weren't expecting to meet anyone, nor were you looking. But when a field trip introduced you to Curtis Everett, your chance meeting opened another new chapter for you.

Warnings will be issued at the beginning of each chapter. This is an 18+ only blog.

Chapter One: Freightyard Education

Chapter Two: Second Chance Paulies

Chapter Three: Va Bene Night With The Stars

Chapter Four: Doorway Kisses

Chapter Five: Taking The Next Step

Chapter Six: Will You Be Mine?

Chapter Seven: When The Mask Comes Off

Chapter Eight: It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year 🎃

Chapter Nine: Life Carries On

Chapter Ten: Pretty Girl Honey

Chapter Eleven: More Than Just Turkey

Chapter Twelve: When It All Feels Like Home

Drabbles 🐝

Beehive

Welcome Home

Night Intruders

Fall Pumpkin Walk

Bonfire

Night In

Curtis’s Haunted House

Spooky Time Shows

Sitting On Face

Fall Time Discussion

Ax Throwing

Cold Winter Night

Sunday Night

See the full post

663 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

#2

Big Blog/Small Blog mentality is such toxic bullshit.

Not wanting to associate with someone because they don't have enough followers or interactions just blows my mind. I don't get it.

Fun fact- most blogs regardless of the follower interaction have someone running them, this is supposed to be their fun place to reach and interact with others who have similar interests.

Stop judging them on how many followers they have please, imagine the amazing people you might never meet because "they are not popular enough".

Its bullshit.

785 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Why do we not discuss Aldis Hodge more often?

1,573 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dankusner]

University of Austin aims to foster free inquiry, entrepreneurship

A VISION FOR EDUCATION Ramya Nambala’s dream was simple: go to Harvard University’s Law School and become president of the United States.

But as a sophomore at the University of Texas’ prestigious Canfield Business Honors Program, she began questioning what she wanted higher education to do for her.

“What I wanted to do is be my own boss and create things that are good,” Nambala said.

“UT and many other traditional schools are built to get you a job.”

Torn, Nambala created a vision board and cut out a quote: “Say yes.”

The next day, while listening to a podcast, she heard venture capitalist Joe Lonsdale discuss the innovative energy in the fledgling University of Austin, where he was one of four cofounders.

“I just looked at that vision board,” Nambala said. “I was like, ‘Why is this so perfect?’ ”

On Sept. 9, Nambala restarted her undergraduate career to join 91 other students as the founding class of the University of Austin – the city’s newest higher education institute, nestled on the third floor of the historic Scarbrough Building downtown.

Many questioned her choice, she said.

But to her, not taking that chance would have been unthinkable.

“So much is broken in America. But higher education might be the most fractured institution of all.”

Pano Kanelos

UATX president

At a time when one college is closing per week, according to The Hechinger Report, the University of Austin wants to lead the industry into a hopeful future, integrating an inventive spirit with a return to the study of classic, foundational texts.

Culturally, it wants to counter illiberalism and censorship, which school leaders say is pervasive in higher education today, with a commitment to free inquiry and pursuit of truth. And students want to lead.

“Students here are true builders. It’s so inspiring to see how they will be creators,” said Nambala, who spoke to the American-Statesman during her second week of class.

“We all say we know a couple of us will be billionaires, and it’s a joke, but I feel like it’s actually true.”

Why was the University of Austin launched?

When Pano Kanelos said in 2021 that he was founding a new university in Austin, everybody listened.

“So much is broken in America. But higher education might be the most fractured institution of all,” wrote Kanelos, who had been the president of the country’s third-oldest university, St. John’s College in Annapolis, Md.

In some corners, the notion that something was wrong with higher education struck a nerve.

Critics argued that the University of Austin was a college for canceled conservative-leaning thinkers against woke ideology, and advisers such as the former University of Chicago president backed out early.

But in other corners, it resonated.

More than 1,000 people submitted inquiries in the first 24 hours, and 100% of faculty members who were offered a job accepted it, said Jacob Howland, the founding provost and dean of intellectual foundations.

Once it secured a certificate of authority from the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board, the university began recruiting applicants and offering free tuition for the founding class.

In early September, Gov. Greg Abbott welcomed that class at the Capitol, shaking each student’s hand.

“The interest is enormous,” Howland said. “We feel like we have a lot of momentum right now, and we’re going to need it, because we still have a lot we need to do.”

How is the University of Austin different?

Sept. 9 was the students’ first day, but it’s far from the university’s first outing.

At the March 9 opening of its Austin Union, the school’s debate society, former presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. spoke.

The self-styled UATX sponsored an event at South by Southwest and formed a partnership with Capital Factory, a local startup incubator and center for entrepreneurs, which will hold the university’s Office of Entrepreneurship and Leadership and help students through their four-year project.

The university’s foundations already diverge from tradition.

UATX does not have tenure, or diversity, equity and inclusion practices.

None of its deans has held such a position before, Howland said.

“Ours is a revolutionary institution – revolutionary in the proper sense,” Kanelos, the founding president, said in his opening welcome Sept. 2.

“The word revolution – in its original sense, revolvere – means to revolve, to turn back to a point of origin, with the purpose of renewing an original spirit or ideal.”

UATX released a constitution codifying its leaders’ responsibilities, notably creating an independent judicial body to hold the leaders accountable to the institution’s values, something leaders say has not been done at a university before.

The university also started a bitcoin endowment aiming to raise $5 million, what it says is the first such long-term endowment at a higher education institution.

How does UATX fit into political landscape?

The school has a philosophy of teaching and learning in a way that all views can be put forth and debated to pursue the truth.

Howland said this requires a commitment to academic freedom and prioritizing learning over activism.

As public trust in higher education has plummeted and tensions on campuses over domestic and international conflicts brew, the University of Austin has surfaced as an appealing antidote to some.

Bloomberg reported that the controversy over how Ivy League presidents handled antisemitism after Hamas’ Oct. 7 attacks on Israel brought more donors and applicants to UATX.

Parents “want that joyful, rich education that they had to be available to their students,” Howland said. “And they began to worry; especially after Oct. 7, they realized that there’s a lot of things going on in universities other than teaching and learning.”

Morgan Marietta joined the University of Austin as dean of the Center for Economics, Politics and History after a brief stint at the University of Texas at Arlington.

Marietta had resigned from his post after the dean of his college instituted new guidelines for events, including mandating prior approval, sharing a copy of planned remarks and a risk assessment and mitigation plan, after he held a Q& A that escalated when pro-Palestinian students claimed the event was onesided.

In an interview with the Statesman, he critiqued academia as prioritizing “mainstream liberal progressive” hires over unconventional thinkers like himself, and institutions as practicing conformity and censorship instead of tackling highly charged topics.

“The decline has been just horrifying over the last 20 years, watching the ability to engage in other discussions of important events just decline and decline,” Marietta said. “We need new institutions. I don’t think the current schools are going to reform themselves.”

Who is UATX attracting?

For Constantin Whitmire, UATX stood out from the other places to which he applied. Whitmire, who has lived in San Francisco and Germany, wanted to study where he could focus on learning and building new things away from “echo chambers.”

“I didn’t want to go to a place that was all politically buzzed up (and focused on) modern-day politics and current events and going out demonstrating the entire day,” Whitmire said. “I wanted to spend time focusing on my academics and maybe building a project on the side.”

Nambala, who said she considers herself to be politically moderate, chose UATX not for the political landscape but to pursue all of her passions, from her artificial intelligence nonprofit to her novel to her interest in space and quantum computing.

“I truly believe I could impact a billion people, but before UATX, I didn’t actually think I could,” said Nambala, who hopes to create such an impact within 10 years.

“These successful people are looking to invest in ambitious young people, and they will provide you with outsized opportunities that you can only dream of.”

Ben Crocker, the university’s director of special programs and associate director of admission, said applicants largely are from families that have been interested since the beginning or are students the school recruited like “an elite sports team,” an idea he credits to Lonsdale.

He characterizes the institution’s students as patriotic, independent and highly motivated.

“A lot of these kids have sort of been in relative isolation,” Crocker said. At an event for prospective students last winter, he said their union was incredible. “There was this explosion of creativity and energy; they were just over the moon.”

Before classes began, students formed organizations, wrote and directed a seven- minute film, and founded a publication called the Austin Beacon, Howland said, speaking to the students’ drive to boldly “found” the institution.

Howland said students have diverse ages, socioeconomic backgrounds and political persuasions.

Data the college released showed that 68% of its students are male and 45% are from Texas.

The college had an acceptance rate of 26%, and deans directly approved the applicants.

The school did not release racial demographic data for applicants.

Applications for its next class opened Friday, also offering free tuition for four years.

What will UATX become?

Students occupy most of two floors of a West Campus residential complex, Howland said.

A shuttle takes them to the downtown campus – a navy- and gold-themed open floor with a library, a lecture hall and four classrooms, a dining area where students eat lunch with professors, and an open atrium to play chess, converse and pore over texts in study nooks.

As staff and faculty members soak in their realized vision, they feel eager for the world to see the university’s potential to transform students’ lives.

“Our donors are saying, ‘We really want to transform higher education as a whole,’ ” Howland said. “All these things just (make) an unbeatable package of excellence, and that’s my hope, that we quickly become known for that.”

Kanelos told the Statesman last winter that he sees the long-term vision of the institution as a “Stanford to UT’s Berkeley,” rivaling the flagship university on the Forty Acres, about a mile and a half north.

More broadly, he sees UATX as higher education’s “north star” – a symbol also on the school’s logo – that poses an alternative to polarization.

“We’re an immensely hopeful university,” Kanelos said “The fact that we’re succeeding is simply a sign that there is such hunger for institutions that want to be problem solving and want to be helpful in the future.”

Mike Shires, the university’s chief of staff and a professor, shares

Kanelos’ belief that UATX will transform higher education and help rebuild trust. And to him, that starts with the students.

“They’re young men and women who have literally chosen to pick an institution where there’s risk associated. It’s brand new,” Shires said.

“They’ve come here to build a student body in a student learning community that can carry forward for future generations.

[renatedagmarmilada]

Keir Starmer....

these might be REALITY GAMES till 2080 which have been signed for by our top, but our deaths are real, the wars are real, the conflicts are real, the thefts are real, the cheating is real, the rape is real......... what games??

Keir Starmer??--quote-- I read the report too.../1990 quote Anna: you may not come onto the program unless you add an issue onto the lab st barths human research file of lies..I have to keep the men interested/

OK NONE OF IT WAS YOU --- you should have 'been' and they destroyed you to the ''core'' as ANNA told you, whilst filling their own purses living of the fat belly of the land---quote I will use even your core.. We do not know lies, merely our own truths... Fekete was unusual in depth. but USA thought it was Anna's report when she sent it all over the place.. etc Renate ..Sell me.. what?? that is what it says. etc usual rubbish spinning..

Mental Care Assistants running the Ministries and Government of UK and USA -along with their families ----not an education amongst them??

quote- the Leader of the Party took some of your work from the lab st barths human research-- he said ''SHE's no business here..''

WHAT ? I WAS A MEMBER OF SCUNTHORPE LABOUR PARTY BEFORE HE WAS EVEN BORN...!!!!

/huh after 70 years of living here, SCUNTHORPE for 40 yrs, then SHEFFIELD and LONDON without a spot -British longer than his age-- where should my business be..??/

please don't tell me, he is trying to say he believes all the ''issues'' of the mental care assistants' lives -- did he actually go into that lab. .....and not say a word about Anna strapping Tony Bank's heart..

quote-IT IS THE PERSON IN CHARGE AT THE MOMENT, worse than any previous ones................just seen his photo. hmph

...................Sir Keir Rodney Starmer KCB KC (/kɪər/; born 2 September 1962) is a British politician and barrister who has served as Leader of the Opposition and Leader of the Labour Party since 2020. He has been Member of Parliament (MP) for Holborn and St Pancras since 2015.................

SO CALLED REALITY GAMES OVER UK TILL 2080--yesterday, the lies spin on and on since 1984... yesterday two asians, I lied I said they were volunteers, oh yes, definitely. Another mental care assistant, I have to stink her..when someone is nearby..

GET THE HELL OUT at nearly 80 yrs old, where to??

quote A package of your work was sent to us a week ago, I have three daughters All of them have copied your work.../good God, just like that, they get hold of some work and copy it as their own/

PAINTERS also have copied your work and cheating

DELORES of Conway, who cheated me out of $7,000 at St barths instructions- w ho told them to return it later......It was her very best work I used so we are copying all and everything to stop her ever being acknowledged JIM-- LIEBERMAN CROSS's son....Package, We are wasting Fekete's life's work, she is 80 and will never be able to repeat it-- to show the world what happens to people who gave their ration cards to jewish friends under the noses of the Nazis..

It is New York.. Yes,

newest spin-- I was worried /they were all due a long prison sentence/ the tightness of it /? another spin from Millionairess mental care assistant Lauren Fielding-Goldstein. /she doesn't share the £60 weekly benefits she gets between the three of them= mortgage, elect., etc and food There was nothing more left to share./

The lesson is clear to you and Palestinians, what happens to your if you give your home and lives to them..

quote It appears the lab members USA and UK have been in all countries where I had friends and fed nasties into their thoughts about me.../?/...I presume because of what they have done to my family---and those they have killed ....for no reason except that they were male and might have children..

[gurukulabotanicalsanctuary]

Partake in Nature

Guest post by Ashwin Lobo

In June this year, Bharavi visited the Sanctuary after more than a decade and a half. As a student of the Centre for Learning school in Bangalore, he had made frequent educational visits to the Sanctuary since 1996. But even though he’d been away from the place for so long, memories of it were very much alive in him. So much so that one evening after 16 years, he called Supi to ask if he could revisit. 

In the years between, Bharavi had followed his passion for theatre. More recently, in the lockdown, he’d developed a new hobby - cooking. This came up at a tea-time conversation and Supi suggested that he cook up a meal. Bharavi rummaged around in the kitchen and made a delicious dinner that evening. And that was when the idea was born to host a celebratory weekend at the Sanctuary involving foraging for wild foods from the land and cooking them together as a community. The intention was also to celebrate the Sanctuary’s incredible cooking team, particularly Leelamma, Janu and Bibitha, who’ve dished out thousands of delicious meals over the last 40 years. 

Bharavi was happy to anchor the event. “Gurukula Botanical Sanctuary has been a big part of my childhood at CfL. Cooking and feeding people has been a big part of my adult life. A program like this felt to me like the perfect coming together of these two realities,” he shares. 

Invitations for the event were sent out. On a weekend in early September, a cosy group of strangers descended upon the Sanctuary. Right from the first evening, we began cooking, starting off with a delicious coconut based gravy using some avarekai Bharavi had brought from Bangalore. 

The next day we set off on a walk through the neighborhood to pick up a jackfruit from Pradeep’s house, a member of the Green Phoenix team, the outreach initiative of the Sanctuary. The jackfruit was far larger than we expected and oozing a sticky latex like liquid so carrying it back would not be the easiest task. Fortunately, Saji, also a Green Phoenix member, had accompanied us, and he had a wonderful trick up his sleeve. 

After carrying the jackfruit some distance, Bharavi’s arms began to tire

Spotting a sturdy stick by the roadside, Saji hatched a plan

Bharavi and Saji grab on to the two sticks hammered into the jackfruit 

Carrying the jackfruit back is now a breeze

Jackfruit cutlets!

A flavourful jackruit kadala curry  

Wild fern shoots harvested by the river

The next day we went foraging by the riverside. Not the easiest of tasks for, on the moist marshy ground, there were leeches all around. It seemed so poetic that even as we were foraging for our food - the ferns; the leeches were foraging for their food - us! It hit home how, just like all other species, we too are deeply enmeshed in the interconnectedness of the food chain. We eat. And we are eaten. 

The delicious cooked ferns

Considering the theme of the workshop, we spent a lot of our time in the kitchen cooking. But we were also doing a lot of walking. Some of these walks were focused on getting to know the plants of the Sanctuary and the work that goes into caring for them. “I thoroughly enjoyed the garden walks led by Suprabha akka and Seena, it was a real treat for the eyes and in fact to all our senses. Heartfelt gratitude to all beautiful souls who are dedicated, working hard, taking care and showering so much love to nurture the plants. It was so much healing”, shares Nagaveni.  

 A garden walk with Supi 

Snigdha was particularly fascinated by the incredible diversity of plants under care, often stopping and bending to examine the tiniest mosses and ferns. “GBS truly feels like a sanctuary- yes for plants, but also for humans. Each plant there is planted and tended to with love.. One can see the decades of nurturing in how profusely they thrive and own the space. In return, it felt like the plants tended to me- sprinkling ancient blessings on us. The sheer biodiversity of plants there is dazzling! Under the towering tree ferns , and surrounded by mosses and ferns I have never seen before, I felt transported to the jurassic- almost expecting a dinosaur to step out and greet me with a snarl! GBS transports one to what a well tended earth must feel like”, she shares. 

A walk along the forest trail

“It was fun walking in the rain, exploring and foraging. The walks made me grounded and connect to the Mother Nature. It reminded me of my childhood. As a child, we had a farm, we used to harvest vegetables and cook in the evening”, remembers Nagaveni. 

Suresh, Saji, Bala and Pradeep - members of the Green Phoenix

The Green Phoenix was integral to this workshop. “This programme, of course, would not have been possible without the Green Phoenix. Our new friends at GBS, familiar with the forest, also guided us to forage for wild food and taste and smell unfamiliar edible plants”, shares Snigdha. “My heartfelt gratitude to Saji, Suresh, Jaimon, Balan and Pradeep. They gave attention to every one of us and cleared all our doubts”, expresses Nagaveni. 

Sumptuous celebratory dinner at the Sanctuary kitchen

And of course, despite our best attempts at cooking, things would have been much harder without Leelamma, Janu and Bibitha. They showed us where all the ingredients were, assisted us with the intricacies of a wood fire and cooked also, to make sure we wouldn’t starve!  Bharavi is grateful for the experience: “Working in Leela aunty's kitchen was a highlight for me personally. It was both terrifying and liberating at the same time—terrifying because that kitchen is used to a very high quality of food, both in terms of taste and nutritional value; and liberating knowing that no matter what, there's that food as a backup, always available.”

[jennifermartinyt]

Rate Maniupulation- Buy Downs Credits? The truth about mortgage rates

Rate Maniupulation- Buy Downs, Credits? The truth about mortgage rates https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAV08xL-3sw Manipulate your mortgage rate for closing costs credit? For more information, please visit our website: https://ift.tt/8hBOirs ✅ Subscribe to The Channel Jennifer Martin- South By West Austin Real Estate for real answers in real estate, delivered with the honesty and responsiveness you deserve: https://www.youtube.com/@jenmartinrealtoratx ✅ Important Links To Follow: 👉 Home Value: https://ift.tt/xGDCVYg 👉 Book a Private 1 on 1 Call with ME to learn more: https://ift.tt/naZFcol ✅ Stay Connected With Me. 👉 Website: https://ift.tt/8hBOirs 👉 Instagram: https://ift.tt/A0jhGDP 👉 Facebook: https://ift.tt/A8dW0eE 👉 LinkedIn: https://ift.tt/G4AnmWq 👉 TikTok: https://ift.tt/0TYKgZF ✅ For Business Inquiries: jen@martinhomeland.com ============================= ✅ Recommended Playlists: 👉 For your Protection- Get a Home Inspection (or not?): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lVMETmoNNY&list=PLZD2yInsRkGLW4WjNmdlULO7GaaMGQU-y&pp=iAQB 👉 Property Taxes- How to Protest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EgsRinJyeg&list=PLZD2yInsRkGLc5tj22428mDWouLBBCdmH&pp=iAQB ✅ Other Videos You Might Be Interested In Watching: 👉 Lakeway, TX Fix and Flip! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8j6RGbyE0U 👉 SW Austin Luxury Home Tour $1.25 Million- Granada Hills https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vAhHH4qj3Q 👉 Expert Real Estate Advice for Easy Home Loans https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3HlCMVMaEg 👉 Foundation Inspection with the Guru! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VexHroyg4GU ============================= ✅ About Jennifer Martin- South By West Austin Real Estate. Real answers in Real Estate? -I'm Not Your Typical Realtor. I'm honest and candid. If you need a quick real estate brain or a strong dose of honesty, you’re in the right place. I take pride in being approachable and friendly, and the novel approach of actually giving you what you want — real answers to questions you’re probably wondering right now. Will I return your calls and emails? Yes. Without question. I get dozens of calls and emails daily, and I work hard to reply as quickly as possible. 🏆 Ranked Platinum Top 500 Realtors in Austin year after year 🏆 Ranked Texas Monthly 5-Star Professional in Customer Service 🏆 Austin Board of Realtors Rookie of the Year Nominee 🏆 Austin Business Journal Top Realtors in Austin Nominee 🏆 Ranked Platinum Top 50 Realtors in Austin Nominee For Collaboration and Business inquiries, please use the contact information below: 📩 Email: jen@martinhomeland.com 🔔 Subscribe to The Channel Jennifer Martin- South By West Austin Real Estate for real answers in real estate, delivered with the honesty and responsiveness you deserve: https://www.youtube.com/@jenmartinrealtoratx ================================= ADD HASHTAG HERE Disclaimer: I do not accept any liability for any loss or damage which is incurred by you acting or not acting as a result of listening to any of my publications. For all videos on my channel: This information is for general & educational purposes only. Always consult with an attorney, CPA, or financial professional for advice based on your specific situation. Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational, or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use © Jennifer Martin- South By West Austin Real Estate. via Jennifer Martin- All Austin Real Estate https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6qyI413G9IaSi0o_MmTQJw September 30, 2023 at 07:00PM

[thebartleyeffect]

I remember being in first grade and being bored out of my mind after returning to class from lunch.

I was staring out the window, admiring the changing colors of the leaves on the trees, while Miss Brinkerhoff droned at the chalkboard.

I raised my hand.

"Yes, Christopher?", said Miss Brinkerhoff.

"Can we go home now?", I asked, the boredom and impatience unmistakable in my little first grade voice.

"Not until 3:00", she replied, turning back to the chalkboard.

I looked at the clock; I may as well have been looking at a hieroglyph, for I had not yet learned how to tell time.

My hand went up again.

"Yes, Christopher?", said Miss Brinkerhoff, more as a sigh than a question.

"Can we go home NOW?" I asked her hopefully, for when you can't tell time, you also have no SENSE of time, so it may as well have been an hour since I asked her last, even though maybe just six minutes had gone by at this point.

"Not until 3:00", she replied once more, certain now that the matter had been settled once and for all, but I wasn't done yet.

"How do I know when it's 3:00?", I asked her, with a genuine desire to know.

This time she paused, and pointed at the clock on the wall: "When the big hand is on the 12...

...and the little hand is on the three."

The matter finally settled, she turned back to the blackboard and continued her scrawling.

"Cool!", I thought to myself. I finally got the information I need so that I can bolt the fuck outta this place the minute 3:00 rolls around.

Miss Brinkerhoff continued her efforts at the blackboard while the rest of the class looked on.

Well, everybody except me, because my eyes were glued to that fucking clock. It was probably 1:30 when this all took place, but the physical distance between the one and the three on the clock face was measured in mere inches, so how long could it take? I reasoned.

Yep, any minute now...

The clock clicked and the big hand jerked momentarily backwards and paused for what seemed like an eternity. Miss Brinkerhoff's voice was, by now, like a far-off echo somewhere in a deep, dark cave and the birds in the trees outside all went silent while we collectively waited to see what the big hand on the clock would do next.

The suspense was agonizing. I slid my left foot forward, just so I could be the first one out the door and onto the school bus that was, certainly by now, waiting patiently outside for us.

And just like that, the big hand jerked forward by one full minute. The hour hand remained stubbornly in place, trapped somewhere between the one and the two on the clock face.

The process repeated a minute later and that's when the sinking sense of realization settled in and I began to think that maybe this whole thing called "school" might be a whole lot bigger than I realized.

My hand went up for a third time.

"Yes, Christopher?", said Miss Brinkerhoff, clearly annoyed and almost out of patience at this point.

"How many more years do we have to go to school?", I asked, optimistic that the answer might be somewhere around another year, maybe two.

"Twelve", she replied, turning back to the blackboard for the final time.

I sank into my chair, the weight of 100 lb anvil on my chest. I felt like I had just been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

I don't remember a thing from the rest of that day. The clock on the wall continued its minute-by-minute ticking, but by now it was irrelevant to me. Nothing else mattered. Forget about the remaining two hours of the afternoon, the next twelve years of my life had been just pulled out from under me and I realized that my life, carefree as it had been up until the arrival of this bright September morning, was no longer my own, but instead now belonged to The Massachusetts Board of Education, which would dispassionately rule the next twelve years of my life, governing everything from what time I would wake up in the morning to how late I would stay up studying for the following morning.

It was all too much for a naive first grader to process and so I just sat there, alone in my thoughts while surrounded by a gaggle of little kids like me whose names I didn't even yet know.

I could not have known it at the time, but I had just been presented with my first rock, the first of several rocks that I would receive throughout my lifetime, to push up a series of never-ending hills.

🪨

[queenshelby]

The Policeman’s Daughter – Part One

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warning: Mention of Attempted Suicide and Abuse

Notes: The fic plays a year after Grace’s death. It will be quite dark as Tommy still struggles with PTSD and Grace’s death and the Reader has struggles of her own.

London, 1 August 1924

For the past three years, it has only been you and your father, living in London in a small suburban house.

Whilst you were in your early twenties, your father was very protective of you. You were his only child and you couldn’t stay out of trouble.

You had moved out of his house momentarily when your mother had passed away but soon had no choice but to return when the relationship you had formed with a young man at the time had turned bad.

Ever since your experience with that man, you lost faith and you lost trust. A year of abuse had gone unnoticed until the day your life had changed forever.

It was 1 August 1922 and you remembered that day, every day and every night. The nightmare you had to endure that day would stay with you forever. Every time you glanced into the mirror and saw this big scar across your stomach, you saw a stark reminder of that day. Every night you went to sleep, you were woken up by a nightmare, reliving exactly what happened to you to that day.

The worst of it all was that the man who did this to you and the men who watched walked free. He was the son of a judge who helped to cover it up. The abuse, the shooting, everything.

You were left with the burden of it all and, at one point several months ago, you even considered to leave this world behind, to join your mother wherever she was.

But your father, he saved you that day you tried to take your life and ever since then, he had his eyes on you, ensuring your safety.

Ironically, it was on 1 August 2024 that he made you a promise. A new life and a new home, in Birmingham.

‘Why Birmingham. It’s an industrial town. There is nothing there’ you wondered.

‘I have been assigned a new job, investigating a criminal syndicate in the area. I cannot tell you anything else about it. Its for your safety. But I have requested a house in the outskirts for us to stay at and security. It will be safe’ your father explained and you knew that he was probably right as, currently, he was investigating several killings in London and certainly had become a target.

Birmingham, 1 September 1924

Over the past two weeks, you made your new house a home.

Your father didn’t lie when he said that your new house was in the outskirts of the city. The nearest factory was a twenty-minute drive away and your property was surrounded by fields and bushland.

For days, you had been exploring the area, spent time at the nearby river, hunted and gathered.

‘I sometimes wish that your mother wouldn’t have taught you her customs’ your father chuckled when he finally found you.

You stood in front of him, your boots covered in dirt, leaves stuck in your hair while you prepared dinner outside over the campfire near the river.

‘Bi kashtesko merel i yag’ you said, pointing to the pile of wood besides him. But you knew that he had never learned your mother’s language.

‘You know, we do have an oven my love’ he laughed.

‘Doesn’t taste the same coming out of the oven’ you smiled, offering him a seat on the blanket besides the fire as you did.

‘I suppose you are right’ he said, taking some of the meat and vegetables.

‘When I was walking today, I came across an orphanage. It is on the hill a few miles from here. I was wondering if, perhaps, I could seek employment there’ you suggested to your father and, to your surprise, he was in agreement.

Birmingham, 5 September 1924

Your employment was approved within no time and, whilst the position didn’t pay well, it was satisfying to you to work with children in need.

The orphanage was established through the Grace Shelby Institute and housed over thirty children.

To your surprise, unlike there is with most orphanages you had visited and volunteered at, there was no involvement from the church.

It was well furnished, featured a large library and the children were well dressed.

There were two young children in particular who caught your interest. Their names were Adam and Lenny, two brothers who just loved to explore.

It was on your first day that they had, again, disappeared from the orphanage much to the disapproval of the educators, which the children called ‘aunts’

‘The twins are lost again’ one of the aunts said quickly just as she heard a car pull up in front of the orphanage.

‘They aren’t lost, they are exploring’ you said calmly, but the aunts weren’t calm at all as they watched a well dressed and very handsome man and a very attractive brunette woman step out of their grey Bentley.

‘Listen, I know where they might be. Let me fetch them, alright?’ you offered and the eldest aunt nodded quickly in approval before greeting the two well-dressed strangers.

‘Mr Shelby, Mrs Grey, please common with us’ the woman said and, just as she did, the man’s eyes locked with yours for a moment as he walked past. You couldn’t recall having ever seen eyes that intensively blue before. They were almost hypnotising.

After quickly collecting your thoughts, you made your way to the nearby forest and, just as you had expected, the twins were by the river.

You spent ten minutes with them, exploring and preparing them for the aunts’ disapproval for their behaviour, before winding them up and making them follow you back to the orphanage.

‘Next time, sneak out a little more carefully’ you said to them with gypsy tongue before giving them a wink and shewing them back inside, not expecting to be understood by the handsome stranger smoking besides the door.

‘They need to learn how to cover their tracks, eh?’ the man said in gypsy tongue and you swallowed harshly, embarrassed and concerned for your employment at the same time.

‘I am sorry, they just want to be outside, not cooped up in here. But I shouldn’t have suggested…’ you went on to say, but the stranger interrupted you.

‘There is no need to apologise Love. I am gypsy too, I understand’ the man said with a smile before introducing himself to you.

‘I don’t think we have met. My name is Thomas Shelby’ he said, shaking your hand.

‘Y/N YL/N’ you responded shyly before noticing the familiar surname. ‘Are you involved with the Grace Shelby Institute?’ you asked, looking at the sign displayed behind you.

‘Grace Shelby was my wife. Me and my family established the charity following her death’ the man explained.

‘I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked such an intrusive question’ you murmured, but the man assured you that your question wasn’t intrusive at all.

You talked with the handsome stranger for quite some time before, eventually, the dark-haired woman came out of the building, ready to leave.

‘May I see you again Miss YL/N?’ the man then asked shamelessly, causing the woman, known by the name of Polly Grey, roll her eyes.

‘Yes, where?’ you said somewhat nervously. You were surprised when these words left your lips all so eagerly as, until now, you hadn’t built up the courage again to even consider involving yourself with a man.

‘I will find you’ the man said, winking at you as he did, before saying goodbye to you in gypsy tongue.

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[josefavomjaaga]

@northernmariette inquired after the third child born to the Soult family after the end of the empire, during Soult’s exile. The photo above shows this daughter's gravestone in the now abandoned Golzheim Cemetery in Düsseldorf. Yes, the grave apparently still exists today, which is at least a bit unusual for the resting place of a child who only lived a few months and whose family soon moved to another country.

The inscription is given in "Beiträge zur Geschichte des Niederrheins. Jahrbuch des Düsseldorfer Geschichtsvereins 6":

At the central aisle of the old churchyard here, where the child was buried, is a memorial stone with the following inscription:

Domine, refugium factum es nobis.

Ps. 89. 1

Marie Louise Caroline Léonie, née le 27 Janvier, morte le 25 Septembre 1817,

Fille de M. Jean-de-dieu Soult, Duc de Dalmatie, Maréchal de France etc.

et de Dame Louise Jeanne Elisabet, Son Épouse.

Nicole Gotteri mentions some more details: engravings of a butterfly opening its wings on one side of the stone, an overturned torch on the other, on the backside Soult’s coat of arms.

Little Caroline (this seems to have been the name she was called by) was born on 27 January 1817, at 8 PM, in Alleestraße 7, Düsseldorf, where the whole family had rented a seven-room-apartment, according to contemporary newspapers. They lived a very retired life, were – of course – under close surveillance by Prussian police, but also well respected by the locals. As a matter of fact, two members of the local Prussian government were witnesses at little Caroline’s baptism on January 29, in Düsseldorf’s oldest catholic church Sankt Lambertus. Godparents were Soult's mother Brigitte and his younger brother Jean-François, represented by little Caroline's two older siblings, Hortense and Napoléon-Hector.

Even though the exile was a time of trials, in a way it may also have been a happy time for them: the family was able to spend a whole year together, and for the first time the older children really got to know this father, whom they previously had only seen sporadically for a few days between campaigns or during short visits into enemy territory. The birth of the baby, occurring right during this time, contributed a lot to this happiness. According to Gotteri, Soult referred to her as »this divine creature« and claimed she reminded him of another child’s face in one of his paintings (he did not state which).

It was not to last. In July, Hortense transferred to a Paris girl's boarding school to complete her education; Louise accompanied her there before returning. Napoléon-Héctor so far had attended the Düsseldorf Gymnasium and in September was preparing to return to Paris as well. And right at this time, little Caroline fell dangerously sick. She suffered from terrible convulsions, starting at the time when her first teeth were showing. We know this from a letter Soult wrote to Hortense in Paris, on September 25, at the bottom of which Louise wrote:

I am heartbroken [navrée de douleur] about your angelic sister.

Caroline died the same day, at 10.30 PM. Her mother only found the strength to write to Hortense on October 4, a very long, and apparently very confused letter testifying to her emotional turmoil. It’s clear both parents were in extreme distress about this loss. Louise having born a child at the age of 45 (!) - Louise was born on 27 Mai 1771 – must have seemed like a miracle to them, a consolation for the troubles they had to go through, and also for all the time they had lost as a family. It was like they were starting over, together now, with this new family member.

And now Caroline was gone.

Your father and I are in the deepest pain and we will always, always mourn Caroline [...] An hour before her death and after the most horrible convulsions, she still recognised my voice and held my arms; afterwards, she breathed her last with tranquillity, as if she had already been in the bosom of the divinity.

Soult himself wrote to Hortense:

Think unceasingly, my dear Hortense, of the exhortations your mother makes to you, make them the rule of your conduct, and give us the consolation of seeing you justify our hopes. I pray God to watch over you. [...] Always count on the tenderness of your unfortunate father.

--

Photos: Church Sankt Lambertus and former Golzheim graveyard, today a public park

[honeypiehotchner]

winter love (all i want for Christmas is you) -- Hotch x Fem!Reader

Hi hi hi!! I have literally been writing this on and off since September, and now I finally get to share it!! A few quick things: this fic has very much Hallmark vibes but does have a good dose of angst too; for the sake of this fic, Aaron was born and raised in Virginia; and Jack was never born (sorry buddy!).

I listened to Michael Bublé’s songs “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and “Cold December Night” a lot while writing this, so feel free to play those while you read! xx.

(The gif is from google because once again, my gif search is broken on here because apparently this post is too long?? Rip me)

Summary: You’ve returned back to your hometown after leaving to get your education, but you didn’t expect to run into your childhood best friend (and first love). 

Word count: 9.4k

HOTCH MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

If you told yourself a few months ago that you’d be moving back to Virginia, you would’ve scoffed and probably laughed -- loudly. Your mom, on the other hand, would’ve been elated, and swore she knew it.

Like she’s doing now.

“I’m just so excited to have you home again,” she gushes, helping you carry boxes of your clothes up to your old childhood room.

The room needs some work, like taking down all these embarrassing posters and changing the sheets to something not so cringe-worthy (thankfully, it’s a full-size bed instead of the old twin you grew up sleeping on). But it’ll be fine for the time being. It’s not like you’re going to find an apartment right before Christmas, or that you even want to. It’s been a while since you’ve spent a full Christmas season with your mom.

You’ve been studying out of state for the past six years, working to get your masters and doctorate degrees — which you’ve completed. But now you need a job and a new start, which is why you decided to come home.

You’ve missed Virginia a lot more than you’ll admit. It’s hard not to miss your hometown when you’re gone from it for so long.

“We need a Christmas tree,” you say, as you come back down the stairs. “Christmas is next week, how do you not have a tree up yet?”

“I wasn’t going to get one without you,” your mom says like the fact should’ve been obvious to you.

You laugh as you plop down next to her on the couch. “I know. We should go tomorrow.”

“Whenever you want to,” she smiles, squeezing your arm. “Have you been to your coffee shop yet?”

“My coffee shop?” You raise an eyebrow. “Since when has it been mine?”

“Since you practically lived there during high school,” your mom counters.

She has a point. “Well, no, I haven’t. I just got here.”

“You should go.”

You raise both eyebrows this time, turning your entire body to face her. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you trying to get me to go back there?”

“Why don’t you want to?”

You give her a look. “You know why.”

“I don’t.”

She does. She knows exactly what happened there.

“I’m not repeating it,” you mutter. “And I’ll be finding a new coffee shop, thank you very much.”

“Oh, you can’t let one bad experience stop you from going there!”

“So you do remember!”

“How could I forget? When you were a wreck for months after. I still never forgave him for that, you know.”

You shake your head, settling back against the couch pillows. “It’s been long enough now that I think forgiveness won’t hurt anyone.”

You say that, and yet you don’t want to step foot in that shop ever again.

+++

It was the summer before your junior year. Aaron was a rising senior, so there was the weight of it being his last year already hanging in the air. Especially when he was already looking at a pre-law track for college — meaning he’d be insanely busy after graduation with not much time for you.

Unfortunately, you didn’t realize that his being too busy for you would start before then.

You were a year younger — technically almost two, but the way your birthday fell, you were only one grade younger — but that didn’t stop Aaron from being your friend. At first you thought he had ill intentions (as most older boys in high school did), but he didn’t. He genuinely enjoyed your company, and you genuinely enjoyed his.

More than genuinely. You say now that you don’t believe in love at first sight, but you know that’s because it already happened for you, and you believe it to be a one-time deal.

That one time was when Aaron sat across from you at the lunch table.

You were alone and reading a book. You were a freshman then, and being an extra year younger didn’t exactly help in the whole making friends department. Especially when a lot of your peers were already aware of your age.

But Aaron wasn’t aware, nor did he even care.

He saw that you were alone, and reading, and he decided to sit with you. He wanted to read too, anyway, but he knew he didn’t always like being alone when he read. Something told him you were the same way.

He was correct.

It took almost the entire fall semester before either of you said one word to each other. Sometimes you’d be too engrossed in the book you were reading to even notice he’d sat down in front of you. And when you would finally notice, he would be the one with his nose too deep in the book to notice.

But eventually, you started sharing book recommendations.

Which eventually turned into helping each other with homework. You were always better at math and Spanish than he was (you were already in the sophomore levels of these classes as a freshman), but he was always good with history and English. He must’ve noticed you were in freshman English and history, but he never commented on it — at least not in a way that said he was bullying you.

That winter break was when you started going to the coffee shop together. It was within walking distance of the high school, so the two of you would go at the end of the day until your parents could pick you up. Sometimes your mom would drive him home, or vice versa.

And when Aaron got his license, he’d drive you both there and drop you off at home.

The two of you were inseparable. Almost literally.

Until Aaron met Haley.

Haley was in theatre. She was everything you weren’t. Aaron’s age, pretty, funny, outgoing, and worst of all: popular.

You watched your best friend fall in love.

And that wouldn’t have hurt as bad as it did if it wasn’t Haley he was falling for.

You kept your feelings for Aaron quiet, even to your mom — though you found out later that she always knew. You had almost thought he felt the same, or that he might be beginning to, and then suddenly he was talking about some girl named Haley.

Only she wasn’t just “some girl” to him, or even to you. Everyone knew Haley Brooks.

Slowly, your lunch table conversations were less about what the two of you were going to do the coming weekend, and more about Haley. How he was going to get her to notice him (join theatre, even though he never liked theatre before her). How he was going to ask her on a date (it wouldn’t be a date at first, just dinner after theatre rehearsal, that ended up being with the entire cast, but he sat next to her). How he was going to win her over (he brought flowers to the first performance and surprised her backstage). How he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend (that was the same night as the flowers, completely unplanned, but she said yes).

How he thought he might want to marry her one day.

The last hurt most of all. He confessed it to you one night out of the blue as he was driving you home after school. You knew you could handle him being in love with someone else. Some sick part of you knew — or hoped, rather — that the relationship wouldn’t last. What high school relationship lasts longer than a few months, anyway?

But when Aaron fell for Haley, he fell completely. And hard.

He started cancelling plans with you to spend time with Haley — before they were even dating. When they were dating, he stopped making plans with you altogether.

Then came the summer before his senior year.

It had been months since you saw him last. You had a new lunch period the second half of the year because one of your favorite teachers asked for help during the period, which meant you didn’t have lunch with Aaron — but you don’t even think he noticed.

June came and went. The two of you barely saw one another, barely talked when you did. But when you did, you clung to those moments like they were your only lifeline. In a way, they were.

July finally came and he actually made plans to see you. He said he wanted to get coffee again, catch up, hang out for a few hours, sit in silence, even, whatever you wanted. You were excited.

Some part of you thought that he had broken up with Haley — wishful thinking, but you were sixteen and in love, what else were you supposed to think?

But he hadn’t broken up with her. They were very much in love. You know. You witnessed it.

Apparently, Haley didn’t like the idea of Aaron getting coffee and lunch alone with a female friend. So, she took it upon herself to tag along.

You saw them sharing a kiss through the window, Aaron’s back facing you. When they pulled away, Haley’s eyes caught yours, but she said nothing to Aaron, just pulled him back in for another kiss.

You didn’t go into the shop that day. And you haven’t since.

The last time you saw Aaron was the day before he moved to college. He was stopping by to say goodbye to you.

You were reading a book in your room, and your eyes caught the movement on the driveway. You told your mom to say you weren’t home.

You watched him leave from your bedroom window, hands stuffed in his pockets.

+++

You heard that Aaron and Haley got married. Not because you wanted to hear, but because your mom told you. She probably meant well, but you drank an entire bottle of wine that night. You weren’t even 21 yet at the time.

Of course, it’s been years since then. You’re all fine now, and you’ve got the student loan debt to prove it.

But even with three degrees, job hunting can be a bitch. Especially this time of year.

You need coffee.

You blame the fact that this coffee shop is the best one around. And the fact that it’s Christmas season, meaning they have your favorite drink again.  

Dark chocolate peppermint mocha. It’s a godsend. And you haven’t had one in years.

Well, you have. But they haven’t been from here. They haven’t had this shop’s specially made peppermint whipped cream, or the peppermint stick that can be used to stir.

You hate how much you have to psych yourself up before you walk inside. You don’t even know where Aaron is these days or what he’s doing. He could be halfway across the country for all you know.

So, with that fact in mind, you walk inside. You embrace the familiar sight and smells, remembering what it felt like the last time you were here.

You move toward the counter, falling in the short line to the register. And your stomach flips when you see a familiar face standing in front of you.

Well, his back is facing you, so you don’t see his face, but you know it’s him. There’s this thing about first loves. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since the last time you’ve seen them. You’ll always recognize everything about them. The back of their head, their shoulders, their hands, the way they walk.

Their voice. Even if it’s deeper than the last time you heard it.

Maybe he won’t recognize me.

But what you don’t know is that no amount of time could pass to make you unrecognizable to Aaron.

Or that he saw your reflection in the glass case next to him when you got in line, and he’s been internally trying to figure out what the hell to say to you since.

If it hadn’t been for his voice, you wouldn’t have recognized Aaron at all. A black coffee? That’s it?

The barista pours it and slides it over to him before he’s even done paying. He’s at a coffee shop -- this coffee shop, and he orders a black coffee?

Who is he?

You step up to the register as he steps away, and you swear you see him looking at you through the corner of your eyes. But you must be seeing things because why would he do that?

You focus on ordering -- a medium peppermint mocha, complete with the whipped cream and peppermint stick. After paying, you step to the side to wait for your coffee.

You nearly knock right into Aaron, but you stop yourself, well aware of his presence.

Another thing about first loves: you’re always painfully aware of their presence.

“Hi,” he says, awkward and fumbling even though it’s only one word. He’s wearing a stuffy suit and tie, which seems odd, but you’re positive that’s just normal lawyer attire. He probably lives in a suit these days. His hair is shorter than it used to be and he looks older, but so do you. Despite all of this, he’s still Aaron. He’s still the same Aaron Hotchner you fell in love with at sixteen.

“Hi,” you return the awkward smile, tugging on the strap of your purse. After a beat, you nod toward his drink. “Black coffee, huh?” You try to tease. “Who hurt you?”

He laughs loudly then, shoulders and head shaking. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Hotchner,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around yourself.

The conversation dies for a moment, so you busy yourself by looking at the different cakes and pastries in the glass case. You probably should’ve gotten one, but maybe another time.

Another time. Fifteen minutes ago you wouldn’t be caught dead in this shop and now you’re already thinking about another time.

“Are you busy?” Aaron suddenly asks, prompting you to look at him with furrowed brows. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all,” you smile gently, knowing you might regret this later. But it’s been over a decade since you’ve seen him last. One coffee won’t hurt.

And I’m over him, you remind yourself, no matter how untrue it might be.

Once you have your peppermint mocha -- finally, you think, it’s been too long -- you walk with Aaron to find a table. A lot has changed about this shop, but one thing that hasn’t (because there isn’t much that can be changed) is the seating.

Aaron leads you to your old table. The table the two of you practically lived at.

It makes your heart warm and ache all at once. The drink you decided to order isn’t helping matters either.

“So…” You pause, shifting in your seat. “What are you up to these days?”

“You stole my question,” he jokes.

“Tough,” you smile into your drink. “I asked it first.”

He chuckles, but answers anyway. “I’m working for the BAU now.”

“The B-A-What?”

“The-- FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

Your eyes widen. “Did you… Did you really just say you’re working for the FBI?”

“I think so,” he says. “I’m the unit chief.”

“You’re the-- Okay. So, you don’t work for the...the BAU, they work for you.”

“We’re a team,” he offers.

“Said every boss ever,” you quip, taking a long drink of your mocha. You take the peppermint stick in between your fingers and stir, eyebrows furrowing down at the swirl of coffee and whipped cream. “So...what do you do exactly?”

He opens his mouth to answer, then stops, hesitating. “Do you really want to know?”

You give him a look. “Of course I do.”

“It’s not great.”

“Aaron, just tell me, or I’ll start reciting my dissertation word for word.” Your statement stuns him to silence, so badly that you almost laugh. “That’s boring. Working for the FBI can’t possibly be boring.”

“Oh, it’s never boring, that’s for sure,” he mutters. “We profile serial killers.”

“You what?”

He laughs. “We look at their behaviors and crimes and build a profile, what they might look like, their age, that stuff.”

“Intriguing.”

“I can’t believe you’re interested.”

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t be,” you counter. “You know I thrive off this stuff.”

“I remember,” he says quietly.

And just like that, you remember, too.

It’s so easy to forget about all the hurt he caused, all the pain he left behind. Especially because you know he never intended to hurt you. He would never do that, not to you, not on purpose. You never told him how you felt. It’s not his fault he couldn’t read your mind.

“Well, you’ve got a doctorate,” he says, shifting the conversation. “What else are you up to?”

“How did you know it’s a doctorate?” You raise an eyebrow. “Are you profiling me? Did I use that correctly?”

“Yes,” he smiles. “And no, not intentionally. You said you’d recite your dissertation. Those are normally written to get doctorate degrees. You always wanted one, I assumed you met your goal.”

“You assume correct,” you nod. “I’m back to start job and apartment hunting, but after the new year. I wanted to spend some time with my mom.”

“How is she doing?”

“She’s good, she--” You pause, shaking your head with a laugh. “She actually brought you up yesterday.”

“Me?” Aaron looks genuinely shocked.

“Yeah, you,” you knock your foot against his leg without thinking, but you pay no mind, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to it. “She’s actually the one who put the bug in my ear to come here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I haven’t been back here since…”

It takes him a moment, but he nods slowly. “Right.”

“Yeah,” you draw your legs closer to you on instinct. “But that was a long time ago. How are you and Haley?”

You don’t expect the way his face falls. You glance down at his left hand. No ring.

“We got a divorce a few years ago, split up about a good year before that,” Aaron explains. “She’s good, last I heard. Remarried already.”

“Wow,” you murmur, not knowing what else to say. “What-- I mean, what happened?” When he hesitates, you backpedal. “Sorry, I shouldn’t even ask, it’s probably a sensitive question.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron chuckles. “I don’t mind talking about it with you.”

That sends a dangerous flutter through your stomach. “Okay. Well I’m all ears.”

“Oh, it’s not a long story, it was just my job,” he shrugs. “I took the unit chief position and she was happy at first. But then, there was a period of time where we had what felt like case after case after case.” He shakes his head. “I was barely home, but I was barely in one state for long, anyway. It was a stressful time. We were everywhere at once.”

“That does sound stressful,” you frown. “Has it slowed down now?”

“Kind of, it has its moments,” he admits. “But being gone so much, it took a toll on her. She wanted to start a family, but said she couldn’t do that if I was never there.”

“But I mean she had to have known how your schedule would be with the new job, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, then shrugs. “It’s been so long now that I stopped trying to understand her thought process.”

“I get that,” you say sincerely. You understand not wanting to waste energy on something like that anymore. Sometimes you just have to give it up and have peace with the fact that you’ll never understand.

“What about you?” He asks suddenly, catching you off guard. “Seeing anyone?” He adds it quietly, like he’s shy.

Aaron Hotchner. Shy. Around you.

“Oh,” you nearly laugh at the prospect. “No. No, I’m not. Do you really think I would be if I was moving back in with my mom?”

He laughs, bringing his coffee to his lips. “You have a point there.”

A comforting silence settles over the two of you after that.

You shouldn’t feel slightly giddy that his and Haley’s relationship didn’t work out in the end. You’re over him by now, anyway. But something about being right has you fighting a smile. You smother the urge, though, knowing he probably doesn’t want to hear anyone, let alone you, say, “I told you so.”

You do feel bad for him, genuinely. Divorce is never easy for anyone, and you hate he went through that. Especially like that. Haley knew his work schedule would change. Why would she act supportive if she knew this in advance? Just sits uneasy with you, that’s all.

Of course, you feel that overprotective-best-friend nature coming back to you.

“What plans do you have now that you’re back?” He asks, keeping the conversation up, but you can tell he’s earnest — which makes you smile.

“Nothing, really. My mom and I are getting a Christmas tree later, but that’s all I have on my schedule.” You pause, giving him another look. “We both know you were my only friend in high school. Who do you think I’m going to see while I’m here?”

“Hopefully a lot of me,” he replies easily, smiling around his coffee.

And for once, you don’t hesitate to reply. “I hope so, too, actually. I didn’t think you were still around here. And I really didn’t expect you to be working for the FBI.”

“This might be presumptuous of me, but what are you doing this weekend?” He asks, quickly adding on, “A good friend of mine is hosting a Christmas party for the team, and I’ve basically been threatened to bring a plus one.”

“Threatened, huh?” You raise an eyebrow.

He nods seriously. “They won’t let me inside without one.”

You gasp comically, keeping up the act. “Well you can’t miss the party!”

“I know,” he sighs, propping his head in his hand.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to come with,” you say, still deadly serious.

But Aaron’s lips split into a grin the same time yours does. “It’s this Saturday.”

“Lucky for you, I’m free.”

He doesn’t stop grinning. “I can pick you up, if you want.”

“Yeah, I’d love that,” you say. “I should probably give you my number, shouldn’t I?”

“I was going to ask,” he admits.

You roll your eyes playfully. “I figured.”

After exchanging numbers, the two of you return to your idle conversations. Only, they’re less idle than they ever have been before.

He vents about still not understanding how people can be capable of the things he sees. How he knows that everyone is capable of unspeakable things, but it’s how they do it that still makes him stumble sometimes. And you try to sympathize, though you know you can’t. But still you tell him not to try to understand.

“You’re a good man,” you say. “You’re not going to understand it because you’re not like them.”

“Thank you,” he whispers. “I know that, consciously. Sometimes it’s good to hear it from someone else.”

Then he tells you it’s your turn, and again, you don’t feel the need to hesitate.

You tell him how you weren’t planning on moving back here at all. But the job market where you were didn’t...fit you, for some reason. You never felt like you belonged, and so maybe that’s why you wanted to come back here.

Because even though you left this place heartbroken, you still felt like you belonged when you were here. You felt like you belonged when you were with him, but you don’t tell him that.

Something tells you he heard it anyway, though. Being a profiler and all. Which you still don’t quite understand, but you’re sure he’ll have plenty of time to tell you in the coming future.

+++

After an hour or two, you decide it’s time for you to head back home. Partly because you need to make some lunch for yourself, and partly because you’ve watched Aaron dismiss at least three phone calls in the last twenty minutes.

But he didn’t say a word each time, so you know he won’t tell you who it is or if he needs to go. It makes your heart warm at the thought that he wants to spend more time with you, but if it’s his job, then he needs to go.

He walks you to your car and you hug him around his neck, unashamedly taking a deep breath of his cologne when you stretch up to wrap your arms around him. He didn’t wear cologne back in high school. But this one smells good.

You mentally prepare yourself on the way home for the amount of questions your mom is no doubt going to ask.

You’re supposed to be going to pick out a tree with her today, which means you were supposed to be home a little earlier than this, which means your mom probably already knows what happened and you won’t even get a chance to explain yourself.

In the end, your prediction was correct.

“How was your peppermint mocha?” You glance over to the couch and find your mom sitting there, idly reading a book.

The question is as directly indirect as they come. You raise an eyebrow and kick the front door closed (yes, she asked before you even stepped foot inside the house). “It was good,” you reply, shrugging your jacket off your shoulders. “Why?”

“Oh, you enjoyed it for almost two hours, so I was just wondering.” Your mom fights back a grin, but she’s not doing a very good job.

You sigh. “Just go ahead and ask.”

She closes her book. “Alright, fine, I will. How is Aaron?”

There it is.

“He’s good,” you answer rather pointedly, making your way into the living room. “He’s working for the FBI now.”

“Oh, I knew that already.”

You plop down next to her on the couch. “Seriously?”

“Of course!” She cries, like it should be obvious. “Small talk happens when you see someone in the store.”

“Right,” you scoff. “Anyway, thanks for not telling me him and Haley divorced.”

She grimaces.

“Yeah, exactly,” you nod at her expression. “That’s how I felt. I bet it was just awesome of me to ask about how him and his ex-wife are doing.”

“I’m sorry,” your mom says. “It completely slipped my mind. It’s been so long since those two split.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?”

“Because I didn’t want to bring him up,” she answers sincerely. “You seemed like you had really moved on. I figured it didn’t matter, and I didn’t want to make you start thinking about him again when you had finally gotten over it all.”

“Oh,” you murmur. “Well, thank you, then, but...still. I feel like an idiot.”

“Did he seem angry when you asked?”

“No, the opposite,” you sigh. “He explained what happened and I let him talk about it for a second, but he seems mostly moved on from it.”

“I don’t know how he can be,” your mom scoffs. “She’s already remarried, you know.”

“Yeah, he told me.”

Your mom shakes her head. “I should’ve shook some sense into that boy when he came to say goodbye that day.” Then she pauses, poking your leg. “And I should’ve made you say goodbye to him. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

“I didn’t wanna talk to him,” you shrug. “We barely had all year, anyway. And one goodbye would not have stopped him from going to college and marrying Haley, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighs. “It’s fun to think about, though.”

“Well stop thinking about it,” you mutter. “We are friends and he’s probably seeing someone by now. I don’t even know how long I’ll be here, so.”

Your mom raises her eyebrows. “I never said anything about what you guys are now.”

Damn. Caught. “I know, but I’m just...catching you before you do.”

“Mmm, more like catching yourself.”

“Shut up.”

She lightly hits you with a pillow. “Don’t say that to your mother,” she jokes. “Especially not when I’m right and you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you ready to pick out a tree?”

“Of course,” she replies. “Just let me find my shoes.”

While she’s getting ready -- because “finding her shoes” really means fixing her hair and makeup and changing outfits a couple times -- you get a text from Aaron.

Aaron: It was nice catching up with you today

You smile and type your reply. Ditto. We should do it again sometime.

He doesn’t reply, but you figure he’s busy at work, anyway. And you’ve got a tree to pick out and decorate, so you’re technically busy, too.

You try not to think too much about it.

+++

And truthfully, you don’t think much about it, until Aaron finally replies. It’s hours later when you’re decorating the freshly-cut Christmas tree in the living room, with Michael Bublé’s Christmas album playing through the stereo speakers. It’s just like when you were younger.

You check your phone and see that it’s Aaron texting you back, but you pocket it before reading the message. You’re busy.

Your mom notices the change on your face. “Everything alright?” She asks as she places a snowflake ornament on one of the smaller branches.

You nod without thinking, hating yourself for even feeling what you’re feeling right now. A glittery red ornament hangs from your index finger as you try to find the right branch to hang it on -- and while your mind wanders all over the place.

“Clearly not,” your mom replies. “But alright.” She turns and reaches into a different box, picking up one of the golden jingle bells that she always hides deep within the tree each year. When you were younger, she’d hide them without you seeing, and then on Christmas Eve you’d have to search the tree for them before you could open one present before going to sleep.

You snort a laugh, always loving her way of getting you to open up: sarcasm. “It’s just Aaron.”

“Aaron?”

“Texting me,” you explain, looking down at the glitter coating your fingertips from the ornaments.

“Aren’t you going to reply?” She asks, grabbing another jingle bell.

“Technically he’s the one replying from earlier today.”

“Okay…”

You sigh. Time to cave. “He invited me to a Christmas party this weekend.”

Your mom doesn’t even try to hide her excitement or her wide grin. “Really? That’s great!”

Is it? You want to ask, but you stop yourself. “Yeah,” you shrug. “I guess so. It’ll be nice to hang out with him more.” You pause, finally hanging the small glittery red ornament on the tree that you’ve been idly holding for the past two minutes. “Apparently a friend of his is hosting it and basically told him he wouldn’t be allowed inside without a plus one.” You chuckle quietly, knowing Aaron had to have rolled his eyes when his friend told him that.

“So it’s...a date, then?”

“What? No,” you shake your head. “No, no. Not a date. He didn’t phrase it that way.”

“Sweetheart, plus one implies date.”

“Who says?”

“Everyone!” Your mom laughs. “Bringing a plus one to a wedding is usually a casual date, if not bringing your significant other along.”

“This isn’t a wedding, it’s just a Christmas get together.”

“Same difference.”

“Well, I think you’re doing that thing again where you try to plant seeds in my brain for things that are unnecessary,” you raise an eyebrow at her when she avoids eye contact, so you know you’ve caught her red-handed. “All that aside,” you sigh. “I’m over him. It’s been so long. If something was going to happen, it would have already.”

“Whatever you say,” she shrugs indifferently, grabbing the final jingle bell to hide in the top of the tree. For a brief moment, you wish you hadn’t been watching where she hid them, so you could do the search on Christmas Eve one more time.

+++

You bump into Aaron one more time, two days later, at the same coffee shop.

“Back for more?” He teases as he slides into the seat across from you, another black coffee in his right hand.

You’re sitting at the table the two of you call home with yet another peppermint mocha sitting in front of you and your laptop. More job hunting is the task for today, even though you’re ready to give up and just pick it back up after the New Year. It’s not like your mom is making you pay rent, and you have enough in savings to help with groceries (without her knowledge, of course, because she refuses to let you pay for anything) and buy your own coffees. But, you decided to give it one last go today.

That is, until Aaron slid into the seat in front of you. Now, you close your laptop and place it back in your bag. “Just needed some fuel for more job hunting,” you grin. “What are you doing here?”

“I took off for lunch for once and thought I might find you here.”

“Oh?” You raise your eyebrows. “Were you seeking me out, Hotchner?”

“Maybe a little,” he admits with a shy smile. “Are you still good for tomorrow?”

“As long as you are,” you nod. “What time?”

“I’ll pick you up at five, if that’s good?”

“Perfect,” you smile. “Are you ready to introduce me to your friends?”

“Depends,” he exhales exasperatedly. “Are you ready to meet them?”

“They can’t be that bad.”

“They might be. If you aren’t used to them.” He pauses. “They don’t know you’re coming, by the way.”

“What?” You almost laugh. “Why not?”

“I told them I was bringing someone, but I didn’t feel like hearing it all week about who I was bringing.” He pauses again, like he’s holding something back, and then he lets it out. “They know all about you.”

You blink. “They do?”

“Yeah,” he smiles gently. “I talk about you all the time.”

“No,” you shake your head. “No you don’t. There’s no way.”

“You’ll believe it tomorrow,” he chuckles. “I’m sure they’ll try to embarrass me.”

“I-I mean...what do you even say about me?”

He shrugs. “That you were my best friend in high school and...that I missed you and wondered what you were up to these days, and how we used to hang out here.” He looks around the shop, then back to you and your bewildered expression. “What?” He laughs. “You didn’t talk to your friends about me?”

“No, I did,” you laugh quietly. But I said different things. And most of the time I was crying because I missed you, especially my first year of college when my roommate tried to get me to go on a double date with her boyfriend and his roommate, but I refused and had to confess that I wasn’t over you and that you broke my heart, and I was such a mess that she brought ice cream and chocolate back after their date.

But you don’t say any of that. Obviously.

“I just didn’t expect you to even...think about me, I guess,” you finally spit out, still shaking your head. “I mean...we haven’t talked since high school, I figured you’d forgotten or moved on, at least. Especially since you had Haley.”

Aaron’s expression softens and turns sad, quickly. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I didn’t know you thought any of that.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you wave his worry away. “It’s years ago. Water under the bridge.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. Then, he says, “Haley was jealous of you, you know.”

You immediately look up from your mocha, your eyes wide in shock. “She was what?”

“Oh yeah,” Aaron laughs. “Devastatingly jealous of you. She swore we were dating or that I was in love with you or something.”

Or something. “Wow,” you chuckle, trying to mask your hurt as much as possible. “Why did she even think that?”

You know why. You know exactly why. Because before her, you and Aaron were attached at the hip. You sat together during lunch, walked each other home, hung out at the coffee shop, went to school functions together (well, you’d actually go with a big group, but you two always ended up together anyway), and so on and so forth. Anyone would’ve been an idiot to not assume you two were dating.

“We were so close,” he shrugs. “She said she was so surprised when I asked her to be my girlfriend because she swore I was dating you. She actually asked me that, when I gave her the flowers. She said, “What about Y/N?” And I said, “Y/N? She’s just my best friend.” And she didn’t believe me.”

“That’s so crazy,” you say, but you’re really thinking back to that day you and Aaron had decided to meet up here and hang out after so long. When Haley crashed the hangout. When she locked eyes with you and smirked before pulling him back in for another kiss.

She was jealous. She was jealous and she knew exactly what she was doing that day.

Aaron’s phone starts ringing and he sighs heavily, pulling it out. He almost declines it, but then stops himself. “It’s the boss,” he says. “My boss. I’ve gotta take this. I’ll text you later?”

“Sure,” you smile, knowing he might forget or get too busy to think about it. But that’s okay. “Good luck with the phone call.”

“Thanks,” he chuckles. “I’ll need it.” And then he brings his phone up to his ear. “Agent Hotchner,” he says, and you hate that you find it so hot.

+++

You almost cancel with Aaron a dozen times before 2p.m.

You blame the conversation the two of you had yesterday. For some reason, the thought of Haley being jealous of you had never crossed your mind. Because to you, it was so obviously the other way around. Of course, you weren’t vocal about your jealousy, but you were certain she knew. Not that it was the other way around.

Old feelings have already resurfaced, which is bad enough, but the talk about Haley and about how Aaron’s friends know all about you made things worse. Especially the latter.

Why would he talk about you so much if the two of you hadn’t spoken in years? Not even years, but like an entire decade. Why would he still talk about you and think about you that much?

You have dwelled over those questions since he left the coffee shop yesterday.

But now, you have no idea what to wear, and Aaron will be here any minute. You’re assuming the attire is casual, not fancy, since it’s just a get together with his friends -- who all happen to be his team of agents. FBI agents. Because he’s just casually the Unit Chief of the BAU.

It still baffles you. He wanted to be a lawyer. Not in the FBI. God.

He’s still your Aaron. That’s what shocks you the most. He’s experienced law school, marriage, practicing law, working for the FBI, becoming a Unit Chief, divorce, and yet he’s still the Aaron Hotchner you were best friends with in high school.

You wonder if you’re still the girl he was best friends with in high school. Or if you’ve changed so drastically that he doesn’t see you that way anymore.

You take a deep breath, going back to digging through the many boxes of clothes that you have yet to unpack. You need a sweater or something. That’s safe enough, right? It’s too cold for a dress, and frankly, you’re not in the mood for wearing one, anyway.

Finally, you find the sweater you were looking for. You tug it over your head, figuring your jeans are fine enough. You’ll wear some low heels to make it look like you put in a little more effort.

Your quick thinking is to your benefit because the doorbell rings almost as soon as you’re done doing the clasp on your second heel.

But because your mom is quicker than you, she’s already opened the door and let Aaron in before you can make it downstairs. And by the time you are coming down the stairs, Aaron is sitting on the couch with your mom, making idle conversation.

“Hey,” you smile at him, resisting the urge to glare at your mom. “Ready?”

“If you are,” he nods, standing to his feet.

When he turns, you shoot your mom a look. “We’ll be back later.”

“You’re not in high school,” your mom laughs. “You two have fun for as long as you like.”

“I know,” you say. “But I also know you’ll wait up until I get back.”

“And you can’t stop me,” she replies pointedly.

Aaron laughs at the two of you, your banter just as he remembers from all those years ago. Neither of you have changed one bit.

After a final moment of bickering, you bid your mom goodbye and leave with Aaron.

In the car, you ask, “Have you told them about me coming yet?”

From the driver’s seat, he shakes his head. “No, so prepare yourself for a lot of questions.”

“I think you’re the one that’ll be in hot water, but alright,” you chuckle. “I can hear them now. ‘Why didn’t you tell us you were bringing her!’”

He laughs loudly. “That’s not a bad impression, actually.”

“Why, thank you,” you smirk. “It’s a hidden talent of mine.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mhm.”

The two of you share a grin as he keeps driving.

+++

After some time -- long enough that you were beginning to wonder where he’s taking you -- Aaron finally turns into a subdivision. But it’s still not what you were expecting.

You assumed FBI agents must make good money, but not this good. This is a mansion. It’s massive. There has to be at least six bedrooms in there, maybe more.

“Is your friend a millionaire or something?”

Aaron chuckles, “Maybe. Probably. Maybe more.”

“More?” Your eyes widen. “Wow.” And then Aaron pulls into the driveway. “Wow.”

He puts the car in park and says, “Try not to look too surprised. Dave won’t shut up about the house if you get him started.”

“What if I want to hear everything?” You ask, scrambling out of the car to look up at the house. “Jesus Christ.” Then you whip your head around to look at Aaron exasperatedly. “Does your house look like this?”

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “No. This is too big. Dave’s crazy for buying it.”

“He’s definitely insane,” you nod. “I mean, what do you even need a house this big for?”

Aaron shrugs. “Christmas parties, I guess.” He pauses, holding out his arm for you. “Ready to face the lions?”

You roll your eyes through a laugh, loosely holding onto his arm. “Quit being so dramatic. I bet it’ll be just fine.”

“Let’s hope so,” Aaron replies. Because truthfully, he is a little worried that they might scare you off. They have a habit of doing that.

The two of you walk up to the front door, and you try your best to act like you’ve been in the general vicinity of a house this big before. Dave must be a really good friend of Aaron’s, because instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell, Aaron twists the doorknob and walks right in with you on his arm.

“Dave’s making pasta,” Aaron whispers, smelling the air. He shuts the door gently, wanting to surprise the team as much as possible.

You sniff the air, too, smiling happily. “Smells really good. Is that carbonara?”

“Good nose,” a voice says from the kitchen.

“That’s Dave,” Aaron chuckles, walking you down the hall toward the smell.

The team’s eyes all widen dramatically and comically when Aaron Hotchner steps inside the kitchen with a woman on his arm.

“Well, hello,” one of them says, sliding off the stool at the counter to saunter over to you. He’s all suave and swagger.

“Derek Morgan, this is Y/N,” Aaron introduces you quickly, knowing the reaction your name will get.

“Hold up,” Derek pauses, glancing between you and Aaron. “Y/N? As in the Y/N?”

“I don’t know about being the Y/N, but that is my name,” you laugh. “Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Derek says, a hand over his heart to add to the sincerity. “Where have you been hiding all this time?”

“Getting a doctorate,” you shrug, only now realizing that your hand is still holding onto Aaron’s arm, but he doesn’t seem fazed by it either, so you don’t move.

“Oh, alright,” Derek chuckles. “Hey Reid, we’ve got another doctor here.”

The man in question, Reid, looks up from the book he was reading with furrowed eyebrows. “Hi.” He waves.

“Hey,” you wave back. “What’re you reading?”

“War and Peace. In Russian, though.”

“In-- Wow, okay.”

“He’s a genius,” Morgan explains.

“I see that,” you chuckle.

Aaron finishes the introductions for you. “That’s JJ, handles the press for us because none of us want to do it.”

“He’s not wrong,” JJ replies with a laugh. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You too,” you smile.

“You met Reid, his first name’s Spencer,” Aaron supplies, and Reid is too far gone in the book again to notice. “This is Emily Prentiss.”

“And I have been dying to meet you,” Emily says. “You are exactly how he described.”

“In a good way, I hope?” You laugh nervously.

She nods. “Definitely.”

Aaron points to the other woman at the counter. She’s dressed in all sorts of crazy colors with glasses that match her outfit. And before he can introduce her, she says, “I’m Penelope Garcia, technology extraordinaire. I keep them out of trouble.”

“And we love you for it,” Derek adds.

“And this is Dave,” Aaron finishes.

“It is very nice to finally meet you,” Dave says, and actually shakes your hand. “Do you know how to make carbonara?”

“Yes, actually,” you say, earning a surprised look from Aaron. “I went through a phase when I was younger, wanting to make anything and everything that sounded good, so I’ve made this a few times. My mom loves it.”

Dave loves the sound of that. “Would you like to help me?”

You practically light up inside and out. “Seriously? I’d love to!”

“Oh, here we go,” Derek groans. “He’s roped her in.”

You ignore him, slipping away from Aaron to grab the other apron off the hook by the entrance to the kitchen. You slide your head through the loop and tie it at the back in a matter of seconds, too excited to contain it.

“I almost went to culinary school, you know,” you say to no one in particular, but Aaron is listening, and so is Dave.

“Why didn’t you?” Aaron asks.

You shrug. “Didn’t seem practical.” Which isn’t the real answer at all. The real answer is you got your heart broken and needed to do a complete 180 in life, so you did. Culinary school was out. Getting a doctorate was in. You turn on the water in the sink and begin washing your hands. “What do you need me to do?”

For the next hour, you help Dave make the carbonara, occasionally answering any questions Aaron’s friends have for you.

Aaron pours you a glass of wine and sits at the counter, watching you cook. You look more at peace than he’s seen you since a few days ago when he first bumped into you again.

You catch him looking at you more than a handful of times. It feels good. Spending the evening with his friends, his team, with him. You’ve missed spending time with him more than anything else.

Dave serves up the carbonara, telling you to sit down since you helped so much already. You don’t make him ask twice.

+++

After dinner, everyone moves into the living room, scattering on the various couches and chairs. Reid has finished reading War and Peace, so the book sits discarded on one of the coffee tables.

You take the spot on the couch next to Aaron, careful not to spill your wine. Penelope sits on the other side of you, with Derek on her other side, which all but forces you to move closer to Aaron, and something about the look on Penelope’s face tells you it was done on purpose.

You’re not exactly complaining, though. With a full stomach and a fresh glass of wine, Aaron’s presence is even warmer than before. You pay no mind when he shifts his left arm, stretching it over the back of the couch and allowing you to scoot closer, your legs pressed against each other’s.

The conversation continues, and somehow the subject of relationships is brought up.

“Yeah, why was I the only one asked to bring someone?” Aaron asks. “I’d like to see all of you find a last minute date.”

Another warm rush goes through your body at the word date. This is a date. Alright then.

“I think you did just fine,” Dave says, nodding to you. “Don’t you?”

You shrug, not sure of what to make of it. “I’m having fun, so I guess so.”

“See?” Dave gives Aaron a look. “You did fine.”

Aaron gives his friend a tired glare. “Only because she happened to be back from getting her degrees. Otherwise, I would’ve been stuck.”

“Nah, man, you could’ve called Beth.”

You feel Aaron tense next to you, but you aren’t sure if he tensed up or if you did. Maybe both. Probably both. You weren’t aware there was someone else.

“Who’s Beth?” You ask as casually as possible, ignoring the heated glares Penelope, JJ, and Emily alike are sending Derek. Seriously, Derek would be dead three times over right now if looks could be deadly.

Aaron shrugs before answering you. “Her and I dated briefly last year.”

You nod slowly, trying not to seem hurt or upset or anything by this because it’s ridiculous of you to be fighting back tears, but you can’t help it.

It’s high school, goddamnit, it’s fucking high school all over again.

The topic of conversation shifts thanks to Reid being the endless supplier of random facts. One question about Russian from Emily and he’s taking over, washing the awkwardness away in two languages.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work as well for you as it does for everyone else.

You set your wine glass down on the table and tell Penelope you’re going to use the bathroom. You have no clue where it is, but she doesn’t know that.

Aaron does. And Aaron hears the tone of voice you use.

He waits until you’re down the hall before he stands to follow you, foregoing any explanation to his friends. They already know what he’s doing.

Aaron’s suspicions are correct when he hears the front door close and sees your coat no longer hanging next to his on the hook by the door. He grabs his and only gets one arm through a sleeve before he’s opening the door, eyes searching the premises for you.

Thankfully, he finds you after two seconds, and his racing heart slows a little. You’re standing by the reindeer lights on Dave’s front lawn. Your coat is only hanging on your shoulders, something you’ve always done since high school when you were upset.

“It feels more like a blanket,” you had told him one day. “Blankets are more comforting than jackets.”

He doesn’t see the difference, but you do, and that was enough for him.

He has both arms through the sleeves by the time he’s next to you. He gently touches your arm to get your attention, adding a soft, “Hey,” for good measure.

You turn your head at the sound, having already known he was coming because you heard the front door open. In the back of your mind, you had wanted him to follow you out here, but now that he’s done it, you aren’t so sure this is what you wanted.

You wanted to ignore the feeling. Get it to disappear on its own. Survive the night, then never talk to him again. You were heartbroken, but it was better when you weren’t speaking to him. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron says softly. “Beth and I haven’t spoken since our last date a year ago. It was only three dates. We weren’t serious at all.” He pauses. “I have no idea why Derek said that. He doesn’t think before he speaks sometimes.”

You nod, not having it in you to laugh at Aaron’s small jab, even though he is entirely correct. Derek is a quick thinker with a sharp wit, but you can see how it might backfire sometimes. Like tonight.

You believe Aaron, you really do. But it’s so hard. “Did you love her?”

Aaron is stunned for a moment, but says, “No. I don’t think I did.”

“Okay.” You shake your head, looking down at the grass. “I’m just trying to figure out why Derek would’ve brought her up if...if you guys dated so briefly.”

Aaron sighs. “I don’t know.”

“And is this a date?” You blurt, finally finding the courage to get that one out. “Because if it is, I…I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

You shake your head again, trying to find the right words, but they always seem out of reach. “Just...tell me this won’t be like high school.”

This time Aaron is too stunned to form a real answer. “What?”

“Please,” you sound like you’re about to cry and you feel so pathetic that you wish you had never agreed to come tonight. But you’re here anyway. “I was in love with you then, and I’m still in love with you now, but I can’t do that again. So if this is a just friends thing and always will be, I need you to tell me before I hurt myself all over again.”

Aaron can’t believe his ears. He swears he heard you wrong. He must have. “You were in love with me in high school, too?”

“Yes-- Wait, too? What do you mean too?” Now you’re looking at him, eyes wide in confusion, shock, every emotion possible. “Too?”

“I was in love with you, Y/N,” he chuckles, reaching for your hands. “I thought you just saw me as an older brother. That’s why I never...said anything.”

“What?” You breathe, letting him thread his fingers through yours. “Are you serious? You better not be pulling my leg, Hotchner. Don’t do that to me.” You tug on his hands for emphasis, giving him a stern look.

“I’m not joking,” he says, taking a step closer. “I wouldn’t joke about this.”

“Oh my god,” you say, disbelief a powerful thief of words. “I can’t believe… So you went after Haley because…”

“Because I heard from one of her friends that she had a crush on me,” he admits. “I did love her, but not as much as I loved you. Never as much as I loved you.”

You don’t know what else to do or say. He looks so beautiful in this light that it hurts, and now he’s saying words you never thought you’d ever hear.

“Do you forgive me?” He asks. “For breaking your heart?”

“Only if you forgive me for breaking yours,” you whisper.

He shakes his head. “I broke my own. I should’ve told you how I felt.” He pauses. “I even talked to you about Haley all the time. Is that why you didn’t say goodbye to me?”

You nod. “It sounds so stupid now, but I was so hurt.”

“I’m an idiot,” he laughs. “I’m the dumbest fool to ever walk the Earth.”

“We both are,” you correct him, taking a step closer. It’s cold out here, but he’s warm. He’s always been so warm. Like home.

And you-- you’ve always been who Aaron thinks of when he thinks about being happy. It’s always been you. A moment like this, and a thousand others. He wants them all. And to think, you do too.

His lips meet yours in a long-awaited kiss, cold noses bumping against one another, his warm hands holding your face, your chilled fingers finding their home on his neck, stealing his warmth.

From the window, the team watches, and Emily exchanges money with Derek.