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idyllcy · 3 months

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oops... i got married || TO MY COLLEGE PROF???

word count: 2.6k || Fic 1 of oops... i got married

summary: There is no way you just woke up married to your college prof. God. At least he's hot?

You get married as a joke.

Yes, there are limits to how much you can drink. Yes, there are limits to how insane you can get while drunk— but apparently getting married is not within that limit. You get married to some random guy— NOT SOME RANDOM GUY. YOU GET MARRIED TO YOUR COLLEGE PROFESSOR. You wake up to a legally signed marriage document and your college professor in your kitchen, and you blink at the red booklet in your hands and then at your professor at the door.

"You're going to be late for class."

"Oh. My. God." You hold your head as a headache splits you open. "that hurts."

Cael steps next to you, bowl of soup in his hand, and you blink at him.

"Oh my god."

"You've say that once already." He mumbles, holding the spoon to your lips after he blows on it. "Drink up."

You open your mouth to drink, still blinking in mild confusion when you finish the soup, brain only processing then whether or not you have clothes on. You touch yourself, sighing in relief when you notice that it's just a change of pajamas. It would be the end of the world... or, well, it wouldn't. You suppose there are worse situations than getting married to your hot professor... wait. Should there be an age gap tag on this?!

You take Cael's hand as he helps you up, and he blinks at you, tilting his head.

"Come on. You have class."

"Isn't it Saturday?"

"It's Monday."

"Don't we get Monday off?"

"That was last Monday."

You scream, blinking at the clock, taking your clothes from Cael's hand (you have no idea when he got the clothes) and change, rushing out of the house as Cael locks the door behind you, following behind you as you rush through the college gates. Cael nods at the security guard— something that the two of you live in a pattern of regardless of whether or not you're married. You find it strange. Yes, you would not have asked Cael to marry you while sober, but it's also questionable. You wonder in what universe you fall for a man several times your age and ask him to marry you while plastered.

"So? Did you do anything after last night?" William brushes up next to you, peeking over your shoulder at you. "I saw someone bring you home. Lowkey, he was kind of hot. His hair was up and everything."

"Yeah." You pause. For the plot? For the plot. "I got married to him."

"WHAT." William screams, and the professor raises a brow in annoyance at him, making him sink back into his seat. "You got married to some random man!?"

"Yeah..." You avert your gaze. "I'll tell you in a bit. Let me take notes—"

"You never take notes!" William gasps. "No fucking way."

"Someone's going to beat my ass if I go home without any notes again." You avoid Cael's gaze from the front of the lecture hall, and go back to clicking on your laptop. "you know?"

"Oh my god." William blinks. "Please tell me I did not just put two and two together. Is this your only lecture of the day? Are you going home with your husband later?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." You avoid the topic, choosing to ignore William for the rest of the lecture, and bolting for the door as soon as class is dismissed. William yells at you for being a coward and to face him, and you rest by the car as you wait for Cael to return. You sit in the car, resting your head on the wheel with a groan as you click through your phone. At some point, you grow tired, eyes growing heavy as you decide to doze off. You wonder where Cael is... you have a feeling that he's going to get here the second you knock out. You blink slowly, and then stare at Cael's face leaning over the door of your car.

You roll the window down after jumping in your skin.

"Why didn't you knock?!" You panic, eyes wide as you let Cael into the car. "What if you got caught?!"

"Caught by who? My fanclub?" He holds up a bag with drinks in it, humming. "Come on. I'll heat up the milk tea for you when we get home. Don't even think about touching it while it's cold."

"It's not cold!" You gape in faux offense. "I can drink it! Who did you even get it from?"

"My fanclub." He hums, pulling a drink out and stabbing a straw through it. "Drink up."

You take it from his hand as he secures his seatbelt, starting the car as you pause. "So... are we going to talk about being legally married?"

"We can talk about that at home." Cael hums. "Want me to drive?"

"No. It's my car." You grumble, driving out the parking lot as you wait to merge onto the street. "What exactly happened?"

"You got plastered and somehow managed to convince me to sign the marriage certificate you were holding up." Cael pauses. "I was also partially drunk."

"You drank? Who drove us home?"

"We rode the subway."

"Damn." You mumble. "That's crazy. I can't believe you said yes. I would've expected you to say no."

"Well..."

"..." You pause, slowing down at the red light. "drunk man words are sober man thoughts."

"Don't say that to me."

"Oh my god." You mumble. "You're in love with me."

Cael chooses to stay quiet, and you reach over to grab his thigh, laughing as you step on the gas.

"My husband is in love with me!!!" You laugh, squeezing him affectionately as you continue to drive. "Does that mean you won't get divorced with me?"

There's a considerable silence before he speaks up. "Did you think I was going to divorce you?"

"Maybe." You mumble. "Just a little."

"I wouldn't have agreed had I not liked you to some extent." He mumbles, resting his hand on top of yours.

"Oh." You pause, another considerable silence passing over the two of you. You blink slowly even when the two of you reach your apartment, and suddenly, it's almost as if his words have just clicked. He likes you. Your college professor likes you. Wait.

"There's got to be some sort of questionable age gap between the two of us." You deadpan.

Cael raises a brow, and you pout. "You're in your last year."

You pause. "True... but you better have not liked me for four years. Isn't it weird to fall for a student anyway? Or did you fall for me because we're neighbors?"

"A mixture of everything." He hums, resting his forehead on yours. "If you keep talking, I may just not cook dinner."

"I can live with instant noodles."

"I can't." He pinches your skin gently. "Shall we have dinner?"

You find that being married to Cael is fun. You get to watch him grade everyone's tests and snoop through his stacks of papers and laptop to see whether or not you can find the next test's answers, and your answer is almost always the same file with a password you can never crack in time before Cael inevitably finds you trying to cheat again. You wonder why he doesn't just report you to the dean, but you don't find it in yourself to care, lips pulled into a pout as he tells you to just study. Easy for him to say.

Maybe he's so old that he just forgot that senioritis happens in college too.

Yet, he cares in his own way, warm drink next to you as you work through the copious amount of work that you're given in your upper-division courses, head spinning and annoyed over everything. He points out mistakes in your paper, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, lashes batting slowly as he corrects your essays with a click of his tongue. You pout at him when he does, but he does not make any change in habit. As long as you get a good grade, you suppose.

Then, your grade comes back, and you are set to graduate.

You rush home to show Cael the grade on your phone, arms thrown around him as you beam. He runs his hand down your back affectionately, lips pressed to the temple of your head sweetly as he congratulates you. You hum, head resting on his shoulder as you hum. "I should pay you back."

"How about wearing a ring?"

"We have these." You pout at the cheap one on your finger.

"We both know I can afford to buy you a better one." He hums, playing with the ring on your finger. "Shall we go ring shopping in celebration?"

"How is that me paying you back?"

"You're paying me back by spending more time with me." He hums. "That is my request. Let us go buy a ring together."

"Is that all?" You hum.

"We can spend the rest of the day shopping too."

"Alright..." You mumble. "We should go shopping for your clothes. Your wardrobe needs a little updating."

"Yeah?"

"And don't fight me for the bill on your clothes."

"Is that how you're going to pay me back?"

"Yep." You pop the p for emphasis, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you hop off his lap. "We'll take my car so we don't need to haul shopping bags back on the subway."

"Very well."

Cael sits back and lets you pick his outfits, your thoughts put before his as you discuss with the store clerk how to make him the hottest man on campus. He wonders if you just simply don't have a single jealous bone in your body. He doesn't like it when people get too close to you. His brows furrow ever so slightly as your hand brushes the store clerk's when you take the outfit, and you furrow your brows slightly as you stare at the clothes and then at Cael.

"I don't want this color of tweed."

"What are you looking for?"

"Something like... classic. Beige. Picture beige baby but there is no baby and it's my husband." You pause. "Make him the hot guy in a trenchcoat at the campus coffee shop."

"I see the vision." The clerk gives you a thumbs up. "Just wait and see, young'in. We've got this."

You wave bye to Cael with a smile on your face, sitting in the waiting area as you scroll through your phone. You take photos and give a thumbs up and down depending on how good he looks in the clothes, and Cael finds that despite his stamina, he understands why you had looked so drained after shopping with him all those times. It's not that his body is tired— it's just that he can only wear so many outfits in such limited time.

On the last one, he opens the curtain of the dressing room, and your whole face perks up.

Ah. This one. You like this one the best.

"Shall we buy this one?" Cael raises a brow.

"I don't care if my scholarship money is going down the drain for this." You rip the tag from behind him as he crouches down slightly to help you rip it easier, and you scan and ring up the bill. He watches as you swipe your card without second thought, the vast majority of what he tried on going into bags as you carry them. Cael presses his lips to your forehead gently as a thank you, and you grin.

"Shall we get something to eat? My treat." He hums.

"Not the rings?"

"I called my associate at another store." Cael hums. "I can take some of the bags—"

"No." You pout. "Let me."

"Well, I suppose it is a skill for you to be able to hold so many at once." He laughs. "Would you like a treat?"

"I'd like my ring." You bat your lashes at him with a grin. "I'll drive."

"Alright." He follows behind you, coat still on, hot on your trail as the two of you wait in the elevator to get down to the right level. He helps you open the trunk, and you hum happily.

"Did you order a ring?"

"They're going to get you fitted." He hums. "And then you're going to pick a design out of all the ones I sketched out."

"Oooh..." You shut the trunk. "Romantic."

"Perhaps it would have been more romantic to actually propose with it."

"Well, we get a good story out of it." You smile at him as the two of you get in the car. "What color is the ring going to be?"

"I've sketched it in every color you can think of."

"There is no way you did that."

He did.

You stare at the samples and then at the sketches Cael provided, and you blink slowly at your husband.

"You pick."

The clerk gapes as Cael picks up the rings and tries them on you one at a time. He would get you all of them, but you would complain that it's a waste of his money. Though, he wouldn't really be spending much. He wonders when the next cheque for displaying his works is going to come in. That should be more than enough to cover the costs of the rings.

"Why not all?"

"I'm not comfortable with spending all of that money yet." You deadpan.

"Better get used to it." He hums. "These three."

You stare at the designs he picked, and he hums. "Turn these two into earrings instead."

"A pair or one of each?"

Cael glances at you, lips quirking up at the sight of your dropped jaw.

"One of each?" You blink at him in confusion. "One of each. Mix and match sounds fun."

Cael nods as the store clerk punches in the order. "Anything else you would like, sir?"

Cael shakes his head.

"Wait, how about your wedding ring?"

"Oh, they have their counterparts." Cael flips the paper over, and your jaw drops.

"Double the price?"

"Don't worry about it." He hums, tapping his card on the machine and covering your eyes.

"Oh, hey." You hum. "You finally figured out how to use a credit card?"

"Debit." He hums. "I had an account because they were paying me, but I just never applied for a card."

"Oh." You pause. "YOU'RE USING A DEBIT CARD?! HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU EVEN HAVE?!"

"How old am I?"

You shut up after that.

Not arguing with a man who's older than the existence of the planet you're on. (a joke, really. He's only a decade or two older than you. Though, he definitely doesn't look it.) So, you stare at the ring on your ears in the mirror two weeks later, Cael's matching one on his pierced ear, leaning behind you, chest pressed to your back as he stares at the earring on your ear.

"Looks nice."

"Yeah?" Your neck creeps with warmth, and he presses his lips to your ear gently, standing straight again as the clerk hands him the bag with the earrings.

"Shall we get going, beloved?"

Your hand shakes as you take his, and you try and calm your racing heart.

Oh, god. This might've been the best decision you've ever made while drunk. ever.

#yexuan x reader #cael x reader #lovebrush chronicles x reader #☾.fics #lovebrush chronicles #reader insert #for all time #for all time x reader #☾.events

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idyllcy · 2 months

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if I told you that I love you, you could be mine

word count: 15.7k

warnings: non-explicit smut, death and heavy themes, historical au

summary: whether in curse or in blessing, in life or in death, he is your knight before anything else, and your orders are absolute, even if it means losing you

🕛.

You die too early the first time Cael serves you.

He finds that the two of you are stuck in some time loop, some loop in which every time you wake up at the stroke of nine on the night you had suffered a concussion, and you stare at your hand, a new carving on your upper thigh, a groan slipping past your lips as he watches you make way to the mirror and pull your night dress up to count. The first time it happens, you only see one tick on your upper thigh, and you turn to look at Cael, confused, eyes wide.

"What... year is it?"

Cael, the ever-faithful servant, gives you the year.

The first time it happened, you clawed at your hair and cried.

The first time it happened, Cael did not tell you that he had returned with you. He had simply watched as you scribbled down everything that happens in the future, and he had nodded when you had told him to guard outside the door rather than inside. He is your faithful knight. His sole purpose is to live to serve you— so if you regress and want him outside of the room from now on, he will regress with you. He will serve you until blood bleeds through his fingers and his soul shatters into pieces through the regression. Until the sun burns out from exhaustion and leaves not a trace of the planet left, he will serve you.

So, he follows you on your journey, he watches as you flirt with the king, lips curled into a sweet smile as you link arms with him, the passion that bled past your skin burning into his, an impression that left everyone who had ever interacted with you speechless. It was simply how you were. You had the aura that would win thousands, and you knew it. So, he stands there on the side, simply content with being with you at every moment. You indulge in the king, smile charming him, and your engagement approaches. He does not get the luxury of being the one you choose, but he gets the honor of being by your side and escorting you down the aisle to the king.

Even if he is too old for you, and even if the king is almost a decade above your age, Cael hands your hand to the king with a nod. He believes that you are making the correct choice. You are making the correct choice to pick the king, and you will live to see a long, long life. You will have children and rule over the empire with dignity and grace, and he will stand by your side through it all as your personal knight.

Your first death comes too fast.

First, there is the announcement of your pregnancy. You are told that you will bear a son to the king, and the two of you are elated. The village streets are decorated with ornaments that would cost a fortune at the celebration of a royal prince, and you are elated, your smile crinkling even the corner of your eyes with a joy that he could only call euphoric. As your personal knight, he guards the chambers of you and the king at night, fighting off any intruders that the king himself was not fast enough for. There are little assassins, he finds. The people of the empire are relatively content with the fact that you are to bear a son.

You decorate the coming prince's bedroom, his cradle and bed all dressed with pretty hues that you pick out personally, and Cael nods at you as you ask him which one would suit the baby more. He tells you both— if your child is to take after you, the prince would look beautiful. You laugh at him, lips stretched into a wide smile as you smack him playfully. You smack him in a way that is unbefitting of the queen of the empire, but in a way that Cael has grown used to since the beginning of his service to you, a way that Cael knows is only reserved for him.

As your due date arrives, he stays by your side alongside the king, offering you a hand when you struggle to do simple tasks, nodding at the maids as he makes your favorite dish. You eat it with the same vigor that he is used to, and he cracks the smallest of smiles as you finish his dish and ask for seconds. The king laughs, wiping your mouth with a smile, simply glad that you are eating again after your pregnancy sickness.

Then, your water breaks.

It is at night, and Cael calls for a maid as the king holds onto your hand, and he watches the midwife as she rushes in with a group of maids. Your legs are spread, and you are told to push, your screaming too graphic for even Cael's ears. He grimaces, wishing nothing more than for you to finish, and no one notices as a maid slips in with water prepared for you, pressing it to your lips with an uncanny amount of panic in her eyes as you swallow, eyes murky and your head spinning. Cael senses something is wrong, grabbing the maid's arm as she tries to slip out with the water, eyes harsh as he tells her anyone who enters may not leave. You push for longer, what seems like hours, and the baby finally arrives.

Then, the world falls silent.

You go quiet, assumed to have passed out, and the next three seconds are awful.

The midwife pats the baby's back. Nothing.

The king presses two fingers to your nose. Nothing.

A maid presses her ear to your heart. Nothing.

and Cael's jaw hardens as his grip around the maid's wrist tightens, nails drawing blood as a bruise forms on her skin and she thrashes in his grip. She screams and wails for him to let go, and Cael stares right past her eyes into her soul, an unbelievable amount of anger present on his face as he looks at the king for permission to draw blood. You are gone. Your son is a stillborn. He can not take orders from anyone except for the king. Perhaps it is a lingering sense of loyalty, but as the king nods, he draws his blade and kills.

He can not bring you back no matter how many times he stabs the maid. You are gone.

So, even as his uniform is bloodied and the king commands for him to stop, he does not, sanity long gone as you had been. He steps up to the stillborn still in the arms of the midwife, pulling off his gloves to brush his finger over the cheek of your child, his roughened hands jagged against the cheek of your baby, a frown so thoroughly embedded on his face that he fears it would burn his soul.

He then steps to your body, lowering himself onto one knee as he takes your hand and presses it to his forehead, his eyes closed as his heart clenches and organs sour. You are gone.

"Knight Cael." The king speaks up, eerily calm for some reason. "You are hereby—"

In the distance, bells chime, and Cael stares at your fingers as it reminds him of something.

Oh. Right.

It meant time was up.

🕐.

The second time Cael serves you, he finds himself back in your room, and you pull up your nightgown to stare at the second tick on your upper thigh, the color of a fresh wound on your skin. Your eyes widen as you curse aloud, and Cael looks up at you, expression unchanging, but in some strange way, he is relieved that you are still alive and cursing. It simply means you are back. In a way, it calms him to see you look manic on your bed.

"I'm back." You croak. "Is it because I was killed?"

Cael has learned to ignore your mutterings. It does wonders for him, he believes. You are unbothered when you think he is simply not listening.

"Cael." You whimper. "What day is it?"

He tells you the date.

You curse, falling back into your blankets, eyes closed. Again. You are here again, and Cael has to watch you suffer through it again. You have to weave your way through high society and win the heart of the king again. You groan at the thought, but you possess the knowledge of a past life to aid you this time.

The king falls for you earlier this time. He cherishes you even more than the past, and Cael watches as you are adorned with gems that the you in your past life thought yourself to be undeserving of. He watches as you adorn a ring with a gem twice the size of the one in your past, and watches as you celebrate a wedding far grander than he's ever seen before. You accept that this is what you have to do in order to reach the end, and this time, Cael makes sure not to let anyone into the room, and you deliver the baby safely. Both you and the child live this time. Cael lets out a sigh in relief when you smile at him, beckoning him over when the maids finish washing the baby and the king goes to fetch his kingdom papers.

"Isn't he cute?" You mumble, eyes gentle as you stare at the child. "I didn't get to meet him last time."

Cael nods, pulling his clean glove off to press the baby's palm, the young one's fingers wrapping around his as he smiles. "He resembles you."

"You can barely tell." You huff. "He's so young."

The child grows up slowly but loved by all. The maids and royals spoil him rotten, and Cael brings the young prince around to tour the palace. Everything goes well. Everything goes so well. It is almost as if the two of you will reach an end. It does not need to be with Cael. It simply needs to end, and the two of you will return to the dust of the earth, and your consciousness will stop looping. That is all Cael asks for. He may repeat it again and again, but in order to put you out of your misery, you would have to fulfill your planned end.

You do not.

The second time Cael serves you, you die to the blade of a loved one.

You watch as the conquering army fights with the royal army at the border, and Cael watches from next to you as the king is stabbed through the heart. You blink lifelessly as your husband falls, and you turn to Cael. Perhaps this isn't your end either. Cael asks if you would like for him to eliminate them all, but you know this is not the right ending. You were never meant to marry the king nor bear a child for him. So, you watch as the palace gates are broken through and the maids scream for mercy.

Cael presses a brick on the wall, and you follow him into the walls of the castle.

There is only one person who would be able to find you here.

The two of you make way down the passage of stairs, and you stop halfway to ditch the heels you had forced yourself to grow used to. Cael watches as you step after him, heels ditched on the stairs, descending into the lower grounds of the castle, a place where they rested the prisons. Perhaps it was not safe, but to you, anything was better than dying at the hands of the man in power during the rebellion. Though, you are not granted that mercy when you reach the bottom of the staircase.

Cael's hand rests on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw blood at any chance, and the leader of the rebellion looks up at you, eyes cold. You back down at him, eyes weary as he orders you to confess to the sins you do not have. Cael is offered a way out, but he has sworn his life to you, so he follows when you are captured and dragged to the dungeons to be publically executed. You do not know how this happened. You simply sit in the dungeon, waiting for your moment. Cael sits in the same cell, head resting against the wall as the guards who feed him each day practically shove the food down his throat.

Then, the day of your execution comes. He is paraded out after you, and he stands behind you as you confess to no crime. You are a clean slate. The flaws of the noblemen were pushed onto you to frame you as a scapegoat and as you are lowered to the guillotine and asked if you have any last words, you stare your son dead in the eye as you curse him to an eternal damnation, cursing that there would be no future with him. You curse him to live in a world in which he is forever to haunt the walls of the palace and never be born.

Cael knows what look you have in your eyes.

You are beheaded, and your head is tossed into a basket. Cael is lowered by the hair to the same guillotine, his eyes staring into your closed ones in the basket as he is asked if he too has any final words. Cael stares your son in the eye and then closes his eyes, only remarking the shame that he decided to believe his friends over the ones of the very one who brought him into the world. Your son curses him for being your loyal dog, and Cael refutes by smiling and mentioning that at least you had been faithful to him to the very end rather than pin the blame on him.

The sound of the blade cutting through the air is not the last thing Cael hears.

It is the sound of distant bells.

Time's up.

🕑.

The third time you regress, Cael watches as you lock yourself in your room for days on end.

Your son killed you. The very child you had birthed and raised with the most love in the world had killed you. You died while your son sneered at you in contempt because he believed you were the reason his expedition to the north had failed, so he decided to dethrone you. It is inhumane of him, and it tore you to shreds, Cael finds. He brings you your food— the only one bold enough to ignore you as you throw vases and pillows at him, and he brings the food to your lips, promising you that it will be fine.

You emerge from your room two months later.

By that time, there are more than enough rumors circulating about your descent into madness, but you pay them no mind. You finish the paperwork for your residence, and get back on with your life, grumbling as you make your very late debut into high society. Cael follows you around as you finish your tasks, and he escorts you down the stairs at your ballroom fitting for only the best of the best.

It is there that you catch the eye of the crown prince.

So, Cael stands by your side and you greet and smile at the prince. Surely if the king was the wrong choice, then the crown prince was the right option. Your son had betrayed you for him, after all. You accept the crown prince as your first dance, and from then on, Cael watches the same thing happen in the past. You get engaged, get married, and settle into a calm day-to-day life that is supposed to go on uninterrupted.

This is the end, Cael believes.

You are finished.

But that is never the case.

The crown prince lets you know one night in bed that he wishes to take over the kingdom, and you watch as he recruits the crown prince, and you watch as the royal palace you once resided in is reduced to nothing but dust. You watch as the queen is beheaded before your eyes, and Cael covers your vision, watching as you grab your own neck unconsciously. The sound of the blade slicing their heads off cleanly, and you grimace, reaching for Cael's hand as their heads are spiked and displayed in the center of the city.

The crown prince becomes the king, and the previous king's child is disposed of after the new king rises to power. You watch as the queen's child is killed in cold blood, and you wonder if that was the fate of yours. Instead, you listen to your husband's requests, the blood spilled during the revolution staining his hands as he presses them on your skin, and with each time he kisses you, you are reminded of the screams of the innocent as he burned down their villages.

Yet, you stay with him.

You do not know what makes you stay with him. Cael does not understand why you stay with your husband, but neither of you speaks up. So, even when Cael is ordered to relocate away from you, the two of you simply turn to the king and disagree. You voice your disagreement, and the king raises his brow at you incredulously, scoffing. He tells you that he was looking for a reason to replace you with a foreign princess anyway to solidify his position, and this was the perfect excuse. Is there any in the land who was so bold as to speak up against the king? Suddenly, everything makes sense. This man had been looking for an excuse to get rid of you, but because of your lack of flaws, he was unable to grant himself the divorce he wanted so badly.

"I will leave." You sigh. "We may get divorced at the temple."

Rather, the king draws his sword and stabs through your chest, and you cough out blood, red staining your lips and his sword as Cael catches your dead body before you can fall. You hiss out a curse at the new king and an order for him to die, and Cael lets your body to the ground slowly, stepping over it as he draws his sword. Your orders are absolute, and if he would die executing them, then so be it. He has no will to fulfill other than the will of his master. You are dead now, so even if he were to die carrying out your final will, he would simply meet in your next regression.

Cael stabs his sword through your ex-husband, and he watches as the king falls with tears in his eyes at the sight of your corpse, his throat punctured so only the sound of a whisper breaks past his lips. Cael watches as he crawls on the ground as though he were some maggot, trying to reach for you, and it makes Cael sick to his stomach. You deserve someone. You deserve someone who would not die before you, give you a son who kills you, or kills you because he is unable to handle the throne perfectly. You do not deserve all of this. The king dies next to you, and as the guards rush in to point their swords at Cael, bells sound in the distance.

Time's up.

🕒.

The fourth time you regress, you wake up and stare at the fourth tick on your skin, and you tell Cael that you're going to plan a rebellion.

Cael does not refute you. After all, if marrying neither sovereign of the nation was not the correct route, then surely putting yourself on the throne was the right. So, he works closely with you as you conspire with the crown prince, acting as an aide and watching the world burn to the ground. You take the lives of all of your past lovers and theirs, and you sit on a throne stained with the blood of your past lives and theirs. You are where you are supposed to be. You want to believe that you are where you are supposed to be. It makes you crinkle and crack, but you want it to be over.

It is not.

You are worked to no end with no real allies as a result of how you disposed of those who would dispose of you, and it is you alone in a palace that is far too large for you. Cael takes over the royal guards, and he lingers by you only when he is not training the others, but it is not enough. You do not have allies in an empty palace far too large for two, and it eats away at you slowly because of a lack of people. It is lonely. You are lonely. You have finally killed the ones who have ruined your life, but you are not free.

Cael watches you as you welcome the magic tower's embassies.

They are welcomed to a tea room, and you sit down with the embassies as they tell you the purpose of their visit. It is marriage. The empty seat of the king consort next to you is empty, and in order to stabilize the kingdom, you would need an heir. It gives you a headache, Cael can tell. He finishes with your tea, and you take it from him with a frown, sighing.

"Well, who do you suppose should be my husband?"

They recommend one of the tower mages. It would be beneficial for the child to possess magic abilities, and you meet them, the mage smiling at you gently. He is sweet, Cael finds. You are treated like glass and porcelain and spoiled to the ends of the earth, and for a second, Cael thinks you will be fine this timeline. You will not die like the previous times. You will get to live a long and healthy life with a doting husband, and the kingdom will slowly revitalize itself. That is all Cael asks for. No more marks on your skin, no more tallies on your thigh, no more cycles for the both of you.

You get married after establishing your new husband's status, and the nation cheers at the celebration, newspapers flying out and selling out about it, and you bear an heir, a young boy for the throne. You live a long and happy life with your husband. Cael watches as you age and your son ages, and he watches as you send people off before your son is by your bedside and on the throne. He possesses magical abilities that could only be borne to parents who both have the ability to create, and it amazes Cael when the young prince lights up the empty palace walls with a simple flick of his fingers.

Perhaps you know how to do magic. After all, you had never been taught or learned how to.

"Do you think you could break my curse?" You squeeze your son's hand while at tea, humming.

"I could not." Your son whispers. "It is a curse that we have examined and found it is too hard to break. It would need to be someone like the first archmage."

"Then will I be cursed to live like this forever? Is there really no ending for me in sight?" You mumble. Cael helps the two of you pour more tea, and your son shakes his head.

"I can not. I am sorry." He pauses. "In your next life, perhaps seek out the archmage instead of father. That might be of help."

"I see." You mutter. "Thank you for being born my son."

"Thank you for loving me." Your son squeezes your hand affectionately.

You are sent off with people who love you. The mages live longer than humans, and even upon your dying breath, your husband presses his forehead to your fingers, muttering gentle spells to keep the pain from getting too close to your heart. You die of age— something Cael now sees as a luxury for you. So, he sits by your bedside with the rest of your family, heart clenching in his chest as you thank him for his service. He does not have long either. He will be following you shortly after, but you do not know that. But for the time being, he kneels by the side of your bed.

You run your hand through his hair one last time, and he leans into your touch one last time.

He can not covet the things he does not own. It is not for his owning. You are not something that could be coveted by a mere knight like him. He is the object coveted and owned by you. To you, he is nothing more than a mere tool and perhaps a dear knight. To him, even on your deathbed, he is below you on his knees, resting his head on the edge of the plush in order for you to be affectionate with him one last time. That is all he craves, and that is all he knows. He will never be the one you pick, simply because he does not have the knowledge to break your curse as the others do.

You close your eyes as he stands up, and he closes his eyes with you. "I will see you back in your room, master."

A maid is sent out to announce the death of the queen, and in the distance, the same bells as before chime.

Time's up.

🕓.

The fifth time you regress, you head straight for the magic tower.

Though you are clumsy and unlearned, they let you in simply for the magic affinity you have accumulated through your many deaths. You take in the words of your son whom you will never meet again, and you pass the entrance exam when they discover your magical ability is beyond comprehension. Even if you are not an immediate mage, you will be a subject of study. Cael enters after you, leaving behind his sword and title of Lord, fingers cool against the orb as it proclaims him to share the same amount of magical ability.

"I did not know you had magical properties." Your lips quirk up slightly at the same color.

"Wherever the master goes, I will go." He mumbles, nodding at the mage. "It is my duty as your knight to protect you."

"Which includes secretly hiding an insane amount of magical ability from me?"

"It never arose in our conversations." Cael smiles. "Let us go."

You study hard, working closely with the higher-ranking mages to crack the situation of your curse. It is observed and studied, but ultimately, nothing comes up in the magical index. You read through some of the books on it in your free time, but the vast majority of your days are taken up by fleshing out your research and doing studies. Cael has more free time, fingers flipping through the books as he looks for the content of your supposed curse.

Perhaps it was a blessing, but it is not his place to say.

If his master believes it is a curse, then it is a curse.

Then, under Cael's radar, you find yourself grow closer and closer to the archmage, somehow breaking past his rude facade. Cael does not ask if you did it purely for survival reasons or for personal gain, but he is happy for you. You will be cursed to repeat the cycle again after the two of you pass, and it does not hurt for you to continue finding romance and loving people. It is simply the truest way you live— loving others and being loved back.

Love is a luxury for the both of you. You both know that.

So, as you spend your days with the archmage and Cael finds himself further and further away, he worries about your safety at times. You may be strong and consistently have a magic lining that prevents you from being stabbed, but it is still worrying. So, he moves all of his books to your shared room, flipping through them and completely tuning you out when you're making out with that archmage of yours.

At one point, Cael realizes that whatever circle has been drawn on you is not a curse.

So, he changes sections to blessings, something that would have been revered as the ultimate gift of the universe. You are immortal and able to live again and again. It is a cruel cycle, but it is immortality in a sense. Cael flips through the pages of the book as he leaves you be, confident that the archmage would be able to protect you when he is not there.

He narrows it down to the last books in the archive, and he has tea with you, another mage pouring the tea for the three of you. Cael feels there is something off about the maid, but he doesn't speak up. There is no need to worry over trivial things. You are not the archmage nor someone who is desired to be disposed of. It could have been simple jealousy.

He supposes it's both of you's fault for forgetting how jealous women could end up.

You press the tea to your lips, listening to Cael as he tells you the details of what he's discovered about your curse so far. You press the tea to your lips, sensing something about is off, so you put away with drinking it. You listen to Cael as he tells you it's a blessing rather than a curse, and perhaps the only way to undo it was to undo the blessing itself.

"I see." You pause. "So it is a blessing?"

"According to earlier works." Cael hums, tea pressed to his lips. "...what a waste of good tea."

"I know, right? Well, did you figure out which book has it? I'll just steal it in my next life."

"You're letting yourself die to the poison?"

"I will, after you call for the archmage."

Cael gets up to call for him, mentioning that you were the one looking for him, and the archmage steps into the tearoom, lips pressed to your cheek as you take a sip of the poisoned tea, spitting out blood and dying in his arms dramatically. The scene amuses Cael, his lips curled upward in amusement, and he watches as the archmage directs his anger of your death onto Cael, and the silver-haired man holds both of his hands up, pointing at the maid who had been trying to run away, unable to unlock the spell put on the doors by Cael.

He watches as the archmage kills her on the spot, blinking twice and then laughing.

In the distance, bells chime as the archmage reaches for Cael's neck.

Time's up.

🕔.

The first thing you say when the two of you return to your bedroom on the sixth time you regress should be confusing to Cael, but it makes him laugh more than anything.

"Damn. I really wish I got to see him go ballistic."

Cael laughs. It is a laughter that breaks past his chest into his stomach, his whole body shaking as he tries his best not to make a sound that would make him come off as suspicious. Instead, you raise a brow at Cael in amusement, lips curled upwards as you laugh with him, something in your eyes telling him that you knew. Neither of you addresses it, but you both know. It is funny to no extent, but it is hysterical for the both of you. There is an endless cycle in the world, and the two of you are cursed to live it forever.

You do not bother going to the magic tower. Instead, you simply steal the book Cael was reading and read through it instead. You will return it when you finish it, you swear. In this life, you do not pick, you wait. Romance is not a necessity to you anymore it is not your problem, you swear. So, even as you lock yourself in your room with Cael to try and trace the magic circle back, try to undo the curse that has been placed on you in your day-to-day life, it is impossible.

Then, a marriage proposal makes way to your door.

You are to be wed to a minor duke in order to strengthen their status in high society, and you look at it, really wondering if you should be getting married when all you were doing in your day-to-day life was fighting for your life and trying to remove the seal from your skin. Cael helps you, his magic affinity visibly larger than yours, his magic carving into the spell as the two of you try to undo it before your supposed prospective marriage partner arrives at the mansion. His magic is cool against your skin, now that you think about it.

"Madam? The junior duke has arrived." A maid knocks at the door.

Cael helps you up, and you greet the man.

"You are the one to be engaged with me?"

"Yes. I believe." You hum. "What made you decide upon my house of all?"

"You are... alone." He swallows. "Perhaps you need protection, though your knight is a grandmaster."

"From?"

"The other nobles."

It is a poor excuse to marry into your house to covet your wealth, Cael finds. You hold the wealth of two of the richest families in the kingdom, so it would be normal to want to marry you for such, but you are not stupid. You smile coyly, pretending to frown. There is no one in the nation that could be wiser than you. Perhaps that is what makes Cael's heart twist and turn with some twisted sort of wanting. He is the only one who has gone through everything with you— whether it be through your death or your suicide. Perhaps that is what makes him think the nobleman is not enough for you.

Yet, you accept it anyway, curious to see if his household's history could help with your curse.

Your wedding is comparably plain to the man from your previous life, and you spend your days in the new library, flipping through old books with Cael as the two of you sit at the tables and ladders, still minimal knowledge known about the curse. The maids whisper about your infidelity with Cael as he glares them down, but your husband pays them no mind. You find that it is much quieter than it has ever been. Considering your husband's status as second-born, you do not need to do things that a typical duchess would need to.

Yet, both you and Cael know the story that is to come.

"My older brother died." Your husband tells you. You blink at him and nod, attending the funeral as both you and Cael find that it was a poisoning. The human mind is greedy, the two of you suppose.

"Are you going to divorce me for the woman at the reception?"

"You've been having an affair with your knight for years and I have turned an eye. I shall simply bring her in as a mistress."

"There will be a divorce or no mistress." You speak. "Pick."

"Then her." He clenches his teeth. "Had I known you were to be this selfish, I would have not married you."

"You only married me for my wealth." You turn to leave, and Cael steps forward as your husband tries to pierce a sword through your body. His sword goes flying as Cael saves you in time, the magic spell on your body activating at the action.

"Witch!" Your husband screams.

"You know, Cael." You pause to think. "I kind of want to burn the mansion down."

"Whatever my master wants," Cael turns around to kneel, "master gets."

The mansion erupts into flames as your husband screams, the maids rushing out with what they could in the chaos, and you watch as the flame starts burning your skin.

"You should go." You mumble. "Go live."

"I can not." Cael whispers, smoke filling his lungs as the two of you lay down in the ashes of the mansion. "For wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you dwell, I will dwell. I am yours to use and to keep. Without you, there is no me."

"So you follow me back each time I pass?"

Cael wraps an arm around you as you use the last of your strength to curl next to him.

"I'll see you in my room."

"I will meet you there, master."

In the distance, merged with the roaring flames, the same bells as always chime.

Time's up. For both of you, this time.

🕕.

The seventh time you regress, Cael is leaning over you, his hands caging you into the frame of your bed, hair falling off his shoulders as he stares down at you. You blink back up at him, waiting for someone to say something. This is new. Usually, when you return, Cael is at your door staring at you. He stares down at you, and neither of you move for the silence that haunts the two of you.

"So?" You raise a brow. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I was going to see if you would hit me." Cael sits back up, getting off of you. "What will you be doing this life?"

"Do you think I could just rot in bed for the rest of my life?" You yawn. "Do nothing."

"You could try something new."

"Like living as a commoner..." You pause. "First world problem."

"Yes." Cael hums. "That would be a little... inappropriate."

"Yes." You pause. "Perhaps I could just not pursue romance."

"You know that will not happen." Cael pauses. "Perhaps a new man?"

"Perhaps my old husband." You close your eyes. "I miss my son."

You do not find your old husband. You find a friend, heart ringing in your ears as you smile at her, the two of you running around the field of grass as Cael watches over you. The sun burns in her eyes as you take her hand in yours, the wind in your hair as you press your forehead to hers. She is as dazzling as the stars in the sky could dream to be, and the world is as sweet as divine nectar when you are with her. The world bends and cries according to her will, and you find that you are no different than the other people who love her.

Cael cooks dinner for the two of you in your friend's home, kitchen utensils clattering as he uses his magic to manage everything at once. The two of you stay hushed up and whisper stories to each other under the stars, and the three of you have dinner together in your friend's little room. There is not much told to you about your new friend. You know she is sweet and gentle like the bumblebees are with the flowers, loving like the grass and morning dew, free like the birds are in the air. She is everything that you once wanted to be, and her existence meant the world to you.

Cael sees that you see a fragment of yourself that you've lost over your lives in her.

"What would you do if you could do anything?" You whisper to her in your shared room, the stars twinkling outside as Cael leans against the door on the other side.

"You're funny." Your friend laughs. "I would spend every moment of my life pressing my fingers onto your skin and loving you until there is nothing left."

"Really?" You mumble.

"You?"

"I would..." You drift off, and Cael knows you have closed your eyes to avoid your friend's. "I... I don't know. Perhaps I would spend every moment of my life as your best friend."

Your friend laughs, music to your ears, and you smile at her foolishly.

"The moon is gorgeous."

"It sure is." You hum.

You are not allowed to have good things. Cael watches as your friend wakes up one day coughing blood out of her lungs, and as a doctor is called in, Cael watches as your heart breaks and your eyes go wide. You are the fault. You are causing her decline in life because of your magic affinity. You are destroying her and eating her alive. You, her best friend, her soulmate, are eating her alive. You are destroying the very thing you love because you love it.

"I'm sorry." Your voice cracks, terrified of stepping close to her. You stand at the door, head hung as she sits in bed.

"It's alright. Please—"

"I can't." You mumble. "I won't let myself."

"I am fine." Your friend insists. "I would rather spend the last of my days being with you than letting the guilt of eating me inside out destroy you. If it is you, then I would be more than willing to pass out of love."

You step closer to her, kneeling on the ground as you lean into her touch.

"Besides, I find this ending to be much better than being recollected by the family who had abandoned me to be married off for connections." She laughs, lips curled upwards.

"Do you think I could find you in my next life?" You close your eyes. "Are we soulmates in every life like this?"

"We are not even soulmates in this one." She whispers. "You may not see it, but your soulmate is not me."

"Then I shall make it you." You close your eyes. "I shall claw my way past fate and destroy the books and tear the quill that decides our fates and carve our names in the book of life."

"That is not possible." Your friend laughs, illness visible in the way she is thinning. "Perhaps we will meet again in your next life. Do not bear the guilt of destroying me because you loved me. It is a beautiful thing‚ to be loved."

"It is a terrible thing, to destroy the one whom you love." You whisper, taking her hand as you help her settle into the pillows. "I will not subject you to such a death in your next life."

"I pray that we will meet again. Whether it is in a fleeting moment or a long escape into the field, I pray that we will love as genuinely as this again."

She closes her eyes.

Cael plans the funeral. You are too struck with grief to do anything, and he borrows your name to help bury your friend in the same field of flowers the two of you ran through. The two of you bury her in a field of flowers, your shoulders shaking from the intensity of your tears, heartbreak everywhere on your skin as you come to terms with the loss of your soulmate, your soulmate whom the world had been so cruel as to tear from your fingers and bury her in the same earth that everyone was borne from. No amount of magic could have saved her, you know. Yet, you blame yourself anyway, the guilt of everything clawing at your skin and destroying you. it is a cycle that Cael recognizes from your first two regressions.

"Bury me with her." You growl, lunging for her coffin as it is lowered into the ground, and Cael holds you back, his own heart twisting painfully in his chest. "LET ME GO. I COMMAND YOU, LET ME BE BURIED WITH HER! I WANT MY SOULMATE BACK—"

Cael releases you, and you continue to thrash in his grasp as you sob into the earth by her grave, the two of you sitting there until you catch a cold and are forced to return to her home. You have a raging fever, the lack of will to live eating you alive, and Cael nurses you slowly and patiently, concern trickling out of his skin with each bite of congee you eat, and you whimper, heartbroken as you sit up in her bed and stare out the window.

"I wish to return." You mumble. "Cael, kill me."

Cael's fingers twitch. He can not disobey you, but he can not obey you either. He does not want to obey you. Yet, bound by his oath, he draws his sword. He stares into your eyes. You weep for someone who had become so significant in your life in such little time. You did not weep for your first nor second nor any of the lovers you have had in the past, yet you weep for the girl who had been your soulmate. Cael was not your soulmate. It did not matter what he felt for you. At the end of the day, you are not his as he is yours.

"Please do not do this to me." He whispers, voice breaking.

"Kill me. Now." You whisper.

"How would you like it?"

"Kill me the same way my soulmate died." You hiss out. "Curse me until this wretched body of mine is worth nothing but dust just like hers."

Cael lets out a breath, dropping his sword as he laces his fingers with yours.

As you turn thinner and thinner, as his magic eats away yours the same way you ate away your soulmate's, he understands why you were so struck with grief.

"I love you." He croaks, watching as you close your eyes.

In the distance, the same wretched bells that have rung every single one of your deaths clang.

Time is up.

🕖.

Cael slumps against the wall as the two of you return for the eighth time. He sits on the ground, and you lay in your bed, and there is a heavy silence that hangs in the air. Nothing is worth anything. Everything is worth nothing. Cael had killed his master per your orders, and you had killed yourself for the love of your life. The two of you do not know what to do.

"Knight." You speak up first, voice filled with a lack of spirit that Cael had found terrifying.

"Yes, master?"

"Bed me."

Cael pauses, blinking at you, unsure if he had heard you correctly.

"Do not make me repeat it twice." You hiss out. "Bed me."

"Perhaps you have gone insane." He unclasps the sword from his belt, wedging it between the boards as he climbs on top of you. "Master. Why would you ask a mere knight as I to bed you?"

"Bed me." You hiss. "Make me forget that I am stuck in a wretched cycle and cursed to destroy everything I love. Carve your fingers into my skin so that I may remember that in this world there is only you and I and no other. I am not to fall for anyone else. Even when I do, there is no ending."

"Is that not cruel to your servant? You do not love even me."

"You are my knight. You are mine to use." You swallow thickly. You do not believe your own words, but Cael does not pry. So, he lifts you into his arms, fingers gentle as he unbuttons your nightgown, fingers cold against your back, helping you slide out of it as he rests his head in the crook of your neck for a moment.

"What may I do?"

"Whatever you must do to make me forget." You lift your hips, and he unbuttons his top, swallowing slowly as he slides his hand up your thigh, tapping twice. You watch as he swallows thickly, his fingers tugging at the waistband of your panties, dropping them on top of your ditched nightgown. You stretch as your now exposed bottom half brushes him slightly, and he freezes in place, eyes focused on your pelvis as he closes his eyes to get rid of the discomfort. His feelings. He has to put his feelings aside. It does not matter. His feelings must be put aside. You are his master, and his only job is to serve you to his uttermost.

So, he lifts your leg, pressing a kiss to your ankle as he pulls your hips to meet his, his fingers, brushing your clit to test the waters, resting your calf on his shoulder as he slides a finger in, curling it slightly as you arch your back. His fingers make a mess of you, one finger becoming two, his heart racing in his chest as you whimper and dig your nails into the sheets. It is not enough, Cael knows, but it is also only the beginning. His skin would paint every cell of your body with his, taint your purity with some twisted impurity that belonged to him. Until his darkness would swallow your light whole, there would be nothing left.

And even when your head is relaxed to the side and he has prepared you for him, he longs for nothing short of the entirety of you. He longs for himself to be engulfed in your light, until the darkness that was tainting your soul was completely absorbed by him, until there is nothing left of your curse but fragments of memories that you would get to take to your grave. He longs for you to become a star in the sky as you have always dreamed, as you had told your stargazing husband so many lives ago.

Cael will forever be a knight to you. So, even when he is buried to the hilt inside of you, his size too big for you as you whimper for him to halt, even when he brushes your hair to the side and presses a kiss to your skin, he is simply a knight to you. He is a servant who will serve you until his dying breath, a breath that will never come simply because of his existence. Through his sword, his life was in your hands, his skin engrained with your name, and if his master wished to return to the dust of the earth, then so be it.

He will forever be a knight, but even with the sight of you blissed out at his antics underneath him, he loves you. His heart burns and bursts and rots for yours, his soul flickering and engulfing everything that comes his way except for you. To him, you are everything at once, the only reason for him to be of worth. You are the one who has given him a purpose, and he is in love with you foolishly and stupidly, but it is not something that can be reciprocated. You do not love him back. You call others your soulmate and your husband, but never him. To you, he is just a knight for your use.

"I love you." He croaks, desperation and longing staining your skin alongside his fingers, his nails digging into the plush of your waist as your head is thrown back in ecstasy, head muddled in the clouds at your servant's antics. You can not hear him, but it does not stop him as he continues thrusting into you, a mess of bodily fluids sullying the sheets, his nails digging into your skin as his hair slides off his shoulders on one side from his movements. His movements become agitated as you clench around him for the nth time, eyes rolling so far back your skull that perhaps someone fears that your eyes will get stuck. Yet, he makes no means to stop, not until you are crying his name and begging him to stop.

Your nails move to his forearms at some point, and his eyes roll back as you tighten around him like a vice, grip strong as his name falls off your lips in broken syllables, begging him for another release, and who was he to deny you?

At some point, the sun sets, and you are fast asleep, your exhaustion engrained in the silk of your sheets, and Cael wipes you down with a rag from the maids, the servants unsurprised at your antics. He forgets how much you had used him in your first life. Though, that remains to be a past that he would not touch upon. You still did not love him, so he supposes there has not been much of a change.

"Cael?" You mumble, shifting as he wipes your face.

"Yes, master?"

"Water." You mumble, and Cael lifts you to have you drink, and you press your lips to the cup, puffy from Cael's own. "Thank you."

You rest up again, and Cael finds you dead in the morning when he wakes up, your breathing gone.

It was not a poison nor a murder— it was simply that your body had given up in bliss.

In the distance, Cael thinks the chimes sound like wedding bells.

Though, time is up once more.

🕗.

The ninth time you regress, you tell Cael to stay put.

"We shall separate this time." You speak.

Cael listens, sending you off in the dead of the night as he returns to the magic tower to continue his reading. The archmage is weary of his magical abilities, but he makes no move, his fingers flipping through the pages as he does his research at the same time, sending you letters with his magic. You do not write back, but he knows you receive them. Perhaps you are with your soulmate again. It is not his worry. His master had commanded him to leave, so he did.

Your curse is engraved in the forbidden archives of the magic tower. He is granted permission after his research reaches a point, and the archmage hands him the key to further his research. Cael spends his days sitting in there, reading through a man's diary— a man who bore the same curse as you did. He flips to the final page, and the indication of the man's death makes Cael pause. Nothing had changed. Rather, the mage had mentioned unsealing the curse through many lifetimes, before eventually passing away of old age. The indication of no other books meant that this man was back to dust.

Cael studies the magic left behind, trying on objects, watching as everyday objects created to not break down broke down. To reverse a blessing meant to create a curse to counter it, Cael finds.

It is intriguing.

It would take a while, and it had taken the mage hundreds of regressions to figure out both the spell and the execution, but Cael would not let that happen. You will pass in next next handful of lives, he promises you that much. So, he engrains the contents of the book in his mind, requesting to be let out of the magic tower so that he may find you. You are still his master, after all. You had told him to separate from you, but not to leave you forever. The archmage grants him that much, and Cael sets way to find you.

You are in a forest.

The evergreen trees surround your little cottage, a small flame burning inside at your fireplace while you have left to forage for the day's food. Cael is glad he has at least found you, standing outside your door as he waits for your return. Even if he had to wait an eternity, he could afford it. So, he continues flipping through the book he has replicated, only pausing when the sound of footsteps echoes in the wind into his ears.

"Cael." You stop. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to test out a hypothesis." He smiles. "To let you return to dust."

"Is it really that easy?" You laugh, opening the door to let him in. "Shall we have dinner together?"

He nods, unclasping his robe as he steps next to you to help with the food. You do not use magic while he does, and he helps you cut while you manage the heat of the flame, and neither of you speak. It can wait. There is no need to exchange words in such a hurry when you are so close. Whether it be in this reincarnation or the next, Cael would stand next to you. He has stood next to you for the past eight, after all.

"Do you still remember your first life?"

"Before my regression?" You hand Cael a peeled potato.

"Yes." Cael hums, magic working as it peels itself. "Before any of this."

You pause, staring down at the rest of the potatoes you need to wash. "...yes."

"We used to cook like this." Cael hums, having you sit down as he finishes with the rest of the veggies. "And the maids would yell at you for tainting your gentle hands, but we still snuck out in the middle of the night to do it anyway."

You hum slowly. "I suppose so."

"Did you enjoy that life?"

"I did not." You mumble. "It was a life where I was raised for the sole purpose of being somebody's bride, only to not be proposed to at all because of the cruel rumors the maids spread."

Cael hums, putting the lid on the pot and setting a spell on the pot to alert him when it is finished.

"I quite enjoyed it." He smiles. "I have enjoyed every life I have spent next to you. I believe that is the word."

"You've changed quite a bit." You hum, tapping the table as you rest your cheek in your palm. "You have grown much more emotional."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

You pause. "No. It is quite... interesting. I am glad you have been beside me for all of these lives."

"Do you miss the children you once had?"

"Sometimes." You pause. "But it is quite alright. After all, one had killed me, and the other had wished for nothing but my own wishes. I do not miss anyone else."

"Not even Naledi?"

You freeze at the name of your best friend, grimacing. "I watch her in the fields."

"I noticed you live close to there." Cael nods, pulling out the utensils from the cabinets, handing a set to you. "Is she faring well?"

"Very much so." You hum. "Though, she had moved away a while ago. She has married, I suppose."

"Was it a carriage that came?"

"It was the crest of the magic symbol."

"Ah." Cael pauses. "Perhaps it was..." Cael does not want to finish the sentence.

"I am aware, that my ex-husband has married her. Though, I cannot call him that in this life." You hum. "You?"

"I have buried myself in the archives. The forbidden ones, to be exact. I have found your curse."

"Will undoing mine undo yours?"

"It does not matter." Cael shakes his head. "As your servant, my only job is to grant your wills."

"I see." You look up at the pot as the magic sparks. "Do you cook in the tower?"

"We have a chef." Cael unlids the pot, and he flicks his finger at your bowl, the ceramic floating up as he fills it with the soup. "Have you been cooking?"

"Yes." You mumble. "It is rusty after so many eons of not cooking, but it is food."

"Perhaps you could hire me as a chef as well." He smiles. "Shall I undo the spell right now?"

"You're planning on killing us both this time, huh?" You frown at the soup.

"I am not. I simply must return to the tower by nightfall."

"Ah. I apologize for making you wait."

"It is normal for a servant to wait for their master, no?" Cael gets down on one knee next to you, taking your hand in his as he traces a small symbol on your skin. "Though, this means you will live a shorter and shorter life in each regression."

"That is fine." You whisper. "I can live for hundreds of years, after all."

"Very well." He completes the circle as it glows some wretched purple, and Cael stares up at you, setting sun in your hair as he smiles. "I shall see you back in your bedroom?"

"Will you not stay to eat?"

"The sun is setting." He presses his lips to the back of your hand. "Eat well, master."

You nod as he disappears, a gust of ice leaving with him.

Cael does not live long after that. He assumes you had made a mistake with one of your plants, and when he heads to his quarters for the night, he hears the chime of bells in the clouds.

Ah, his time is up once more.

🕘.

"Come on." You stick your hand out to Cael in your tenth regression. "The curse."

Cael listens, kneeling at the side of your bed, fingers gentle against your skin as he traces a different circle on your skin, glowing a dark purple as he stares up at you, sealing the magic with a gentle press of his lips to the back of your hand. "Anything else you require, master?"

"Since I am passing soon, I suppose I should do something I have not done before."

"How about becoming a knight?" Cael blurts, eyes widening at his own brashness. "Ah, my apologies. It is a hard—"

"Where do I sign up?" You pause. "No. Take me to your headquarters as grandmaster. I would like to try it."

"You will need training first, master."

"I have wielded a sword in my past life. Let me attempt." You barter.

Cael gives in, sending you to the door of the academy, heading to the principal himself. His return is easy, and he is returned his sword from his days on the battlefield, watching as you have to defeat the rest of the knights who have been training for eons to possibly enter the academy. He nods at his past comrades as he settles down next to them, and he listens to them speak on each one as he watches you.

You are clumsy, but your experience leading a revolution does not go unseen.

"She fights like someone who has seen war." One of Cael's coworkers leans in. "Is she the one who you were bought by?"

"Yes." Cael hums. "Her background is a little murky to even me, but I am surprised at her talent."

He is not. He has seen you kill people without hesitation in order to become queen of the kingdom, and he has seen you bash a man's skull in with a dulled axe. If there is a death out there, then you would bring even that to its knees. You look up at one point to wave at Cael, to which he only grants you a small smile.

You pass the examinations, body strong enough to handle only the minimum, but enough to handle it nonetheless.

You move through the ranks quickly, and Cael no longer gets to see you as often as before, busy with training his own group of students. He finds it is easier to form bonds this time around. His many lives have taught him to read people with eerie accuracy, but his many lives have also taught him how to feel something. He takes his students out on trips to train in the grass and gives time to relax. They are allowed to feel something rather than obey his every word. It angers some of the other generals, but it does not affect him. Perhaps this is what people with power get to live like.

His students are still the top in the academy, after all. Though, it would be a lie to say he does not miss you.

He finds that some of the students in your group are too busy flirting with you to focus properly. You swat them all down, and Cael finally gets to witness this in action, his lips curled upwards as he meets eyes with you while someone has you pinned against the walls. You do not want him to do anything, so he leans against the other wall quietly, watching as you turn the guy down.

"One chance. Come on. Do you really think you're still at top value after turning so many men down?" He sneers. "If you don't accept me—"

You kick him in his groin, knocking him to the ground as you step on his chest, staring down at you with a glare. "Say that again, you shitty piece of scum?!"

"You're not at top value—"

"Knights." Cael speaks up this time, looking at you and then at the guy underneath you. "Is something wrong?"

"She's hurting me!" The guy decides to play the victim, and you scoff.

"Cael—"

"Grandmaster." Cael corrects, nodding.

"Grandmaster Cael." You deadpan. "He damaged my honor by insulting my name, and I was simply paying him back."

"I was telling the truth! No man wants a woman as brash—"

"Do not speak out of turn." Cael waves his hand for you to take your foot off of the man's chest, and he watches as the man scrambles off. "It is a shame. I was willing to give him a chance to explain himself."

"Men like that only prey on me because they think I'm an easy target."

"How have you been?" Cael speaks up, watching as you dust off your uniform.

"It has been alright." You hum. "It is nice not to be treated and revered because of my status. But it is also a pain in the ass to be harassed by the men in my class."

"Would you like to join mine?"

"And get told that you go easy on me? No thank you."

"We will die in war this time around." Cael lowers his voice, glancing around. "You and I both know that."

"Yes, for the honor of the imperial palace, we will be sacrificed in war." You pause. "What if we win?"

"Then that will be something else." Cael pauses. "Then we will be left with no crown prince."

You purse your lips. "Right."

"We will see when we get there." Cael hums. "Good luck with training."

"There is not much in terms of luck." You sigh. "Thank you."

Just like your past lives, the rebellion takes place. Your unit and Cael's are sent to the frontlines, and Cael hands each child a silver tag with their name on it, hidden in the depths of their pockets to be used for identification. It is something he has lived to see once, and it is something that he will live to see a second time. He will lose people, and it will affect him this time.

Though, even in times of war, Cael finds that people tend to get bolder.

"General Cael..." A girl is pushed in front of him by her friends, and he raises a brow.

"Yes, knight?"

"It is a time of war... so I thought I would," She swallows, and Cael knows what comes next. "I like you. I've liked you for a long time."

"I cannot accept these feelings." Cael sighs. "I am far too old for you, and we are at a time of war. It would be cruel to accept them. You will find that they are fleeting emotions in the future."

"I know." She smiles. "There is a rumor that you have a crush on your master."

Cael freezes in place before shaking his head. "She does not love me."

"But you did not deny that you love her."

"Yes." Cael trails off. "Feelings are bound to bloom after spending so long together, after all."

The girl dies on the battlefield, and Cael creates a flower out of his magic, leaving it in place of her sword as he returns to the barracks for the night. The loss of his students is not easy, he learns. It had been different when he could not feel, but now that he is sitting in the very seat that his mentors had been in, he finds that the loss of one soul after the other is never easy.

You open the entrance to his tent as he is preparing to rest.

"Grandmaster." You whisper.

"Master." He mumbles back. "What brings you here?"

You ditch your jacket, straddling him on the edge of his bed as his hands stay by his side.

"Cael." You whisper. "Kiss me."

"That is hardly appropriate for me to do as a general, knight." Still, he makes no move to push you off of him.

"Tomorrow at dawn, the crown prince will ambush my camp." You whisper. "My general has evacuated the vast majority of the people, but I will be one of the knights to stay behind. I have located the quarters of my ex-husband, so you must kill him so that I may kill the crown prince tomorrow."

"We can not guarantee a win even with such."

"Once the leaders of the rebellion pass away, those who were on the fence will inevitably leave now that they have no morale." You whisper, slipping a folded paper. "This. This will be the plan. I have not run it by my general, but you are the general of this other camp. Please, Cael. I have no other but you."

"And if you pass?" He closes his eyes. "We can not guarantee anything if you die."

"I will not die. I have cast magic this time." You whisper.

Cael hums. "Very well. Good job."

"So, general? Can I get a small reward?"

Cael reaches up for your cheek, pressing his lips to yours briefly before letting go. "If we win, I can guarantee something better."

You grin at him, laughing as you disappear with the wind.

Cael's army sets out in the early hours of the morning, and Cael makes haste to simply kill your ex-husband, and he finds it appalling that the man in the tent is not your second, but your fourth. It makes his blood boil, and he scoffs. Your second husband had not killed you because he wanted to. He had killed you because your fourth husband had gained enough power to destroy anyone who fought him's life. So, for your past lives and for his peace of mind, he kills them both, blood staining his white gloves and clothes as he emerges from the tent, both of their severed heads in his hand.

The rest of his army clears and captures the camp, and a letter makes way to him as he reads of your success in killing the crown prince.

The war is won.

He returns to the king and accepts his second title as grandmaster, granted the land that he has received from the deceased duke. Perhaps he would have been scolded for killing instead of capturing, but it was disposed of. Cael watches as your general is honored as well, unconsciously looking into the crowd of soldiers to look for you. You are not there. Perhaps you had not wanted to see your first husband again, but it was not an issue. Wherever you go, he will find you.

He finds you underneath a tree, a pill in your hand as Cael emerges from the trees.

"Master." He kneels by your side, holding out his hand for the poison. "What brings you here all alone?"

"I was thinking of resetting." You hum.

"What about your prize?" Cael raises a brow.

"I can collect that in my bedroom."

"Then, at least grant me the honor of passing with you." He lodges the poison between his teeth and lips, leaning in as you press your lips to his. He bites down on the pill, poison sinking into your mouth as the two of you die kissing.

There are no bells for Cael this time around.

🕙.

In the eleventh regression, you find yourself spread open for Cael once more, tears in the corner of your eyes from overstimulation, lower stomach in knots as your eyes roll back in utter bliss. You are in heaven, you believe. You have won a war in your past life, killed the man who had ruined your life, and now you are coming undone on your knight's fingers as he draws another magic circle on your skin, lips pressed to your skin as you shake underneath him.

"Master," He whispers, humming. "won't you look at me?"

"You're like a spoiled dog." You gasp, arching your back as he curls his fingers in you.

"I promised you a reward." Cael hums. "You wanted it. I am simply fulfilling my master's orders."

You get your reward, skin crawling with goosebumps by the time he's done, a mess in your sheets as he lifts you up to place you in the bath. The maids stay outside of the bath as he washes you up, and your sheets are changed in the short time that you are in the warmth of your bath. Cael washes off after you leave, and he leaves the maids to change you as he sinks into the water, exhaling slowly. He is your knight to be used, and unless you order him to, he will not be your lover.

He dresses himself, stepping next to you as you stare out the window, some sick form of longing visible in his skin, snaking around his neck as it suffocates him, his eyes on the plush of your visible flesh, no better than the men in the streets. So, he tears his eyes from the warmth of your body, staring ahead as you wonder aloud what you should do in this life. You do not wish to be part of the rebellion again, but you do not wish to rot away either. You must accomplish something, anything.

"How about visiting the next empire over?"

You pause. "Can I start a war there?"

Cael would like to tell you no, but you have the beauty to, so he can not lie.

"I'm going to start a war in this life." You pull him down for a gentle kiss, his eyes going wide as you call for the maids to prepare for your journey. There was a banquet going on in the next empire over, and perhaps you could see Naledi again. So, you pack your bags as the two of you send note of your visit, and Cael watches as you are welcomed by the emperor himself, a smile on your lips as you greet him. He does not know if you were joking or not, but perhaps it is not worth it.

"Do not do it, master." Cael mumbles.

"I won't." You hum. "Maybe I should become a pirate."

You do not, and you spend the rest of the year in the empire, watching as your past kingdom falls to ruin, and you purchase a small home in this empire, only attending banquets with the same dress you had brought, never spending too much nor doing too much. You are waiting for someone. You are waiting for Naledi, Cael finds. Even now, you can not let go of her.

"Perhaps the next banquet," He prepares to escort you home, but you stay, eyes glued on the door as you meet the new emperor. The new empress walks in, and you let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Naledi.

The two of you greet them with a bow, and there is some form of closure you receive from seeing that Naledi is doing much better without you around. There is no way for her to know that it is you, but there is also no way for her to remember. You will bear the memories of your relationship forever, heart ringing in your ears as she leaves, your eyes never leaving her figure.

"Did you get it?"

"Let us return home." You smile. "We can find a new place to visit."

"How about the sea?"

"Sounds fun." You grin, the two of you packing your things and paying for the ship's ticket. It is supposed to take you to a new place, and though the world is a large place, there is a sense that it will be discovered soon. Though, perhaps not in this life. As Cael is holding onto you and covering you both in an orb of ice so that you may float, the rest of the ship goes under, and you cling onto Cael, laughing as you lean back into the ice, the magic forcing its way out of the water to say afloat on such a bad storm.

The two of you end up in a boat made of ice, and the two of you drift on the water.

"Which one of us will die of starvation first?"

"You." Cael leans back into the boat. "I can live without sustenance."

"You and your immortality." You grumble. "What will happen to you once I finally return to dust?"

"I shall continue serving your bloodline." He smiles. "And then when your soul returns, I will search for you."

"That's kind of sad, you know." You close your eyes. "You should go explore."

"And become immortal? Like a legend?" Cael holds his arms open as you snuggle close to him. You are losing body heat.

"Yeah. That way, if I ever return, I will know who you are."

"You do not even love me." Cael mumbles sadly.

"Not yet." You close your eyes. "See you in my bedroom.

The bells in the distance chime, and Cael stares out as his vision fades to white.

Time's up again.

🕚.

In your twelfth regression, you rot in bed for the first ten days.

"Is there anything else you would like to do?" Cael tilts his head at you as the curtains to your room are pulled open by the maids.

"No." You close your eyes. "I have already done so much."

Cael watches as the maid leaves, and he reaches for your hand, gesture practiced, carving another magic circle into the back of your hand. You let him, eyes closed as you rest in the warmth of your bed.

"You need to exercise, you know." He nags gently, eyes soft on your hand as he finishes, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand, then turning it around to kiss the palm. "Come on."

He dares to violate your personal space now. He should not have this leniency, but you offer it to him. He can only take it for granted. You have only one more cycle to live through. Perhaps he will wait a day or a thousand or centuries before he can see you again, but he would rather cherish every moment that he gets to spend with you. He is a spoiled dog, now that he looks at it.

"Master," He sets your hand down, holding onto your fingertips.

"Yes?"

"What should this poor knight do without you?" He whispers, squeezing your fingertips. "When you are to pass?"

"Be a little selfish, perhaps." You hum. "Is there something you wish to do with me?"

Cael's ears turn red. He can not be selfish to this extent. He can not. He... he can't be...

"Shall we get married?" Cael looks up at you sheepishly.

You sit up, accidentally hitting your forehead on Cael's, his fingers rubbing it with a gentle frown as you pout.

"You want to get married to me?"

"We can live in the nice little cottage you had in your tenth life." He whispers. "And we can wear matching rings."

"Will you grant me a quick death in my next life, then? So that I may return to dust?"

"Of course." He whispers. "Anything that the master wants, the master will get."

"Then yes." You pause. "Though, make sure the proposal is at least grander than any of my previous ones."

"It will he hard to outdo the king, no?" He hums affectionately.

"I'm sure you can do it, my knight." You grin.

You regain your will to move around shortly after that. The two of you board to explore the continent you both passed away looking to visit, and you have fun, brow raised as Cael helps you off the ship, the two of you settling down in a hostel and wandering around the streets. You find that it is not much different from when you had gone around town with Naledi. Though, the food here is much more fragrant, spices dancing on your tongue as you have them, eyes lit up.

"Good?" Cael takes the food from you, finishing it as you look for something new to try.

"mhm," You hum. "You?"

"It is alright."

"Here." You take the food back, and finish it in a bite, licking your lips. "I'd get you some soup, but they don't seem to have lighter foods here."

"That's quite alright." Cael mumbles. "So? Was there something you wanted specifically?"

"Oh, there it is!" You hand the woman two coins as she pulls out drinks from the ice, and you hand one to Cael. "I think you'll like this one."

"Yeah?" He takes a sip, pausing as he raises a brow. "It's good."

"That's good." You pull at his wrist, pressing your lips to the straw, taking a sip. "Alright. I just wanted a sip. Do you want skewers? I think that's what they're called."

"I'm good." He follows after you, straw pressed to his lips as you look around and stare at the small trinkets. Cael wonders how he's going to propose to you. Perhaps he could make a grand ring, but it would not be worth much. If he buys something mass-produced, then he would be an awful lover. Though, he glances at the store tucked behind one of the shops, snapping his fingers to cast a self-defense spell on you as he heads in. That ring.

He needs to get that ring for you.

The purchase goes smoothly, his words sweet as he tells the jeweler that it is for his lover, his eyes gentle as he snaps his fingers, bag of gold manifesting with his magic. The jeweler blinks at the money handed to her, and she shakes her head profusely. Cael takes the ring and the box, waving at the jeweler as he makes his way back to you, stepping next to you as you show him the soup you've just obtained. You feed it to his lips, and he smiles, laugh on his lips as he hums, the drink you bought him empty now.

"Was it really that good?"

"Yes." He hums. "Shall we get going?"

Time flies. You finish your little trip and pack to leave, luggage heavier than before, yawning as you step around to get ready to leave. The boxes are packed up as both you and Cael push them to the ship, and he laughs, lips curled upward as he hums.

"What do you think about going back on our own boat?"

You blink. "A... like last time we were stranded?"

"It will be better this time." He promises, lips curled upwards gently. "I will learn wind magic for my master's next life."

You laugh at him, cheeks warm with a life that Cael had not seen in forever. So, he brushes the fallen lash on your cheek as he stares down at you, he finds himself laughing, breeze by the port in his hair as he looks up at you, eyes gentle and warm, brimming with affection as he smiles, corner of his eyes crinkling as you stare up at him.

"Master." He speaks. "Will you go on my boat with me?"

You hum, smile mirroring his. "Yeah."

The two of you stay out at sea for a while, and at some point, the boat stops moving. There is plenty of food the two of you have brought, so you do not worry about starvation, but you can't help but feel that it is so strange to see Cael be so upfront about his emotions for you. You suppose it was inevitable that he would fall for you, but you were surprised that it had taken him such a long time to be selfish to this extent. Perhaps it is the looming worry that you will be gone by your next life.

So, when the boat disappears into a floating platform of ice, you jump in your seat, staring at Cael as the ice hardens under your feet. You stare down and then back up at him, confused, head tilted to the side as you let him step close to you, his fingers gentle on your face as he brushes your hair, lips curling upwards as he kneels, and it gives you the same sense of deja vu you got from knighting him so many years ago. Yet, this kneeling is for a different purpose, you find.

"In this life and your last, in your sickness and my death, will you do the honors of letting me be the one to cherish and hold you close?" He pauses. "Whether it is as your knight or as your beloved. Whether it is as a penpal or your chef, and whether it is as your curser or blesser, will you let me cherish you until you return to the dust of the earth and know nothing better?"

The sea breeze ruffles your hair as you look down at him, cheeks and ears flushed, warmth creeping up your neck as you find yourself breathless, and Cael waits as your mouth forms words, baring all your teeth in your smile as you give him your answer.

"Would any master say no in this case?"

Cael fishes out the ring, sliding it on your fingers as you stare at it.

"It's so pretty." You mumble, staring in awe, barely noticing the way the ice platform has returned to a boat. "When did you buy it?"

"That is a secret I will be keeping from you," He grins, finger pressed to his lips as you pout.

"Aren't my words absolute?" You pretend to frown.

"Not when it is my proposal." He hums. "Let me cherish you this life so you may pass quickly in your next one."

"Alright." You hum, closing your eyes as Cael holds you close. "Can you kill me with poison in my next life?"

"You would like to be poisoned?"

"It would be fitting as I died that way in my first life, would it not?" You pause. "Perhaps something to grant me a quick death. Maybe to pass in my sleep would be nice."

"Alright." Cael whispers, pressing your fingers to his lips, bottom lip brushing over your ring. "Where would you like the wedding?"

"Do you think the king would let us get married in the glass chapel?"

"It does not hurt to ask."

You get married to Cael, his hair done up as purple flowers decorate the venue, your lips curled upward as a smile that forces your eyes to crinkle sits on your face, an eternity past spent with him, and the short eternity future to be spent with him. You get to live a long life next to him, your skin turning wrinkly and old with age and Cael staying the same, but his eyes and touch ever fond with the same gentleness that has never changed even now that you are no longer at your prime.

You wave goodbye to your kids, and Cael sends them off with a nod.

"Phew, I'll have to see you in my bedroom soon." You frown, staring in the mirror. "I can feel my death approaching."

"Do you believe we are soulmates, dear?" Cael sits next to you by your bedside, and you smile.

"Perhaps." You close your eyes, sighing. "Maybe Naledi knew all along."

"Perhaps." He closes his eyes with you, and in the distance, the same bells that chimed on your wedding chime again.

Time is up at last.

🕛.

"Would you like to do anything before you pass?" Cael is the first to speak in your final regression.

Perhaps thirteen is an unlucky number, but it is not his problem. He slides your sleeve up as he carves one final circle into your skin, and your chest glows a dark purple, symbolizing the completion of the curse. You stare at your hand, then at Cael, lips curled into a sweet smile. You reach for him, wrapping your arms around him wordlessly as Cael hums into your skin, the vibrations soothing against your flesh.

"Cael."

"Yes, master?"

"Call me dear." You hum. "Ah, I would like to be buried with my ring from our past life."

"I shall do that." He nods. "Would you like to repeat our past life?"

"I do not mind it." You hum. "Though, it would be nice to have children earlier. I do not believe I will live as long as I did in my past life."

"Of course." He presses his forehead to yours, humming. "Let us get married earlier as well."

Cael finds the ring in the same place as before, handing the clerk the same amount of gold, a smile on his face as he returns from his vacation, offering you a pretty bouquet of flowers similar to the ones at your wedding, the ring attached to the center rose, and you laugh, cheeks warm with affection as he slides the ring back on your finger. There is no wedding this time around, just a simple registration and wedding gown, the same white and violet flowers in your hair and his suit, his lips pressed to your ring as the two of you spend the night together as you had in the past.

Cael looks into magic to control pain, and you find that it is so much more soothing to deliver a child with your husband's icy hands on your back. It is almost as if he had learned it so that there would be as little pain as possible this time around. You find that it may be annoying, but knowing what each of your children would be like was much better than expected. Their fingers cling onto yours as you watch them grow up, your body aging faster than your past life, your children only young adults when you turn old and frail.

So, when you call them all to your room, Cael still next to you and brushing his fingers over the back of your hand; you laugh.

"I'm passing soon." You hum. "It is a shame, but I will not be able to see my grandchildren this time around. Perhaps Cael might, but it seems that..."

"It is fine." Your eldest pauses to stare at Cael. "Father will be free once you pass. He will find you again."

"Like he always told us he would." Your second chuckles. "Though, we may not be alive to see you."

"I'll miss you." Your youngest steps next to your bed, taking your other hand. "We will miss you, mother."

"I will miss you all as well, but..."

"But you will be put to rest." Cael nods. "There will no longer be a repeat of the past, and you will no longer be forced to live in a world where you are cursed to return again and again."

"Yes." You smile. "Now, shoo. I wish to have a word with your father."

"Stay in the tearoom. I shall discuss burial when she passes."

Your children exit the door, your eldest looking back one last time. It is strange to see such a young man smiling at an old woman so affectionately. One might mistake him for your grandchild, but it would not be the case. He may not have gotten much affection from his father, but it was evident that Cael loved at least you with his whole heart. Perhaps he will look at someone with the same amount of affection in his eyes one day.

"So?" Cael raises a brow, holding your hand to his cheek as you hum. "Where would you like to be buried?"

"In Naledi's flower field that we purchased off her hands." You close your eyes. "Please tend to the flowers each time you return from your travels."

"Of course." He closes his eyes as you close yours. "I love you, dear."

"I love you too, Cael." You hum. "My beloved."

This time, there are no bells to chime nor time that has run out.

Cael tells your children about where you wish to be buried, and your children comply, gathering for a small funeral as they bury you in the dirt where you had wished to return, and Cael finds himself hugging his children for the first in a long time. It is hard to lose you, he knows, but he is aware that you will return sometime soon. Your soul will wander back into the people who are close to him, and even if you will not recognize him, he would protect you until the very end. Thus, as he sends his children off one by one, handing the family seal to his eldest with a gentle kiss to his forehead, he hums the same lullaby that they had grown up listening to.

"Come visit. The residence's walls are always open." His eldest looks up at him through tear-stained lashes, and Cael nods.

Once all of your children are gone, Cael removes his sword and places a bouquet of preserved flowers on your grave, tightening his coat as the winter snow falls, your frail body buried back into the earth, returning to the dust that it was made of.

And though you are gone now, Cael will find you again as he always has.

After all, you are his master, his lover, and his object of affection. just as he is your knight and beloved.

#☾.nsfw #yexuan x reader #cael x reader #lovebrush chronicles x reader #☾.fics #lovebrush chronicles #reader insert #for all time #for all time x reader

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