#yg who we can be quite sure will never acknowledge you-know-who's existence again

[daesungindistress]

The five hands pic was posted alongside a pic of his screen, noting the time on New Year’s. Maybe he was trying to mark a new beginning since it is a new year. But then, he's always been difficult to read.

Mark a new beginning by bringing back something old? You might be onto something ;) I’ll explain below.

Alright y’all, I’m back, and with a new take on his post. One that, though I had a half-formed idea about it the day he posted, New Year’s Eve my timezone, I didn’t have the peace of mind or mental clarity to make sense of it at the time, there in the thick of so much unexpected emotion, yours and mine.

While I’m undecided about how much stock I want to place in this, preferring to take a guarded approach to Jiyong and his characteristically cryptic Instagram posts from now on, I think it's worth considering. The few fans I’ve shared it with privately have agreed that it “sounds a lot like Ji.” Disclaimer: this is not an excuse for the disturbance he caused or the pain he inflicted, whether he meant to or not, whether he’s out of touch with fans or just doesn’t care. Think of this more as a genuine, good faith effort to understand what could be going through his head. Because, no, putting aside my initial impression heavily colored by the years (literally years!) of negative experiences here, I can’t agree with the shit stains of this fandom and their misplaced gloating. Jiyong did not “say BIGBANG is 5.” But he did say something. And I think his message without words deserves a closer look.

So here we go:

Quite a few VIPs are taking his post as a comeback teaser for a GD solo followed by BIGBANG. And while that may be the case, I wouldn’t be surprised if it... are you ready for it... had little to with G-Dragon or BIGBANG at all. Those two images side-by-side may have been a generic call for unity and cooperation for the world at large as we leave behind a year defined by distance and division.

First of all, it was his first post of 2021. The time stamp on his screen read 1:11 1/1/2021... really driving home the number 1. Unity, obviously.

In the background the painting Millionaire Nurse by Richard Prince is projected over him. He is wearing what appears to be a surgical mask, an instantly recognizable symbol of the sickness that dominated the year 2020, and a piece of protective equipment we carry with us into 2021 because, with cases still surging and restrictions tightening, the fight isn’t over. What’s more, of all the pics in this photoshoot, I noticed he chose one in which the word NURSE is highly visible in bright lettering across the front of his mask. A much-needed message of hope and healing for a world driven into quarantine by COVID-19. He hopes 2021 will be the year we’ll finally conquer this contagion that keeps us apart.

Still with me? Here’s where things get interesting:

In a recent interview promoting his Nike Paranoise 2.0 shoes Jiyong was asked about his one wish for 2021. “What is the 2021 'YOUTOPIA' you are hoping for?”

“I hope the world becomes healthier,” Jiyong answered. “I think that’s what everyone wants right now.”

Health and healing for the world. No mention of music, solo or otherwise. His mind is on the state of the world, not the state of BIGBANG. And he assumes everyone is on the same page.

But wait! There’s more:

That photo of interconnected hands was first posted to his IG back in 2016 but resurfaced recently in October 2020 when someone (presumably one of his or TOP's art friends, I’m not sure who this guy is) reposted it as a visual accompaniment to a rambling criticism of a country more fractured than ever before by politics and policy as its people grapple with this novel coronavirus. Jiyong came across it with his personal account and slapped a heart on it, liking it very much.

Thinking about it, trying to get a sense of where his mind may have been back then, this was roughly around the time his Paranoise shoes were being prepped for release, about which he explained, “Our footsteps are the result of our decisions. I believe you can completely change the meaning behind these sneakers depending on how you wear them.”

“Change the meaning,” he says. That isn’t limited to footwear, you know; depending on how it’s presented, it is also possible to change the meaning behind a photo. And that may be what Jiyong has just done. It's not about BIGBANG anymore, it's about something bigger than BIGBANG.

That IG post by Matt Carey Williams may well have been the first time Jiyong viewed that iconic photo from his past in a new light, through someone else's eyes, being applied broadly to something outside of BIGBANG. Perhaps he saved it and has been holding onto it in the months since, waiting for the right time to use it to make a similar statement of his own about the godawful year we’ve just left in the rearview mirror. One that will be remembered by (to name just a few) rigorous hand washing, religious mask wearing, and to the detriment of mental health worldwide (in an effort to preserve physical health)... widespread social distancing.

Like everyone, Jiyong is tired of the distance, done with the divide, fed-up with closed borders and stay-at-home orders. Fatigued by this seemingly endless cycle of self- and state-imposed separation. Family, friends, and fans advised (and in some cases required) to steer clear of each other? So this picture, this bold reminder in black and white of skin-to-skin contact, hands joined with other hands, connecting person to person... that is the return to normalcy Jiyong would like to see in the near future.

In another ask, anon observed, “It's entirely possible [Jiyong] just doesn't think Seungri has a right to infringe on his own memories or sense of ownership of BIGBANG.”

I thought that was insightful. And important to keep in mind going forward. Because unless they plan to ignore everything from their past and run from it forever (an impossible feat), sooner or later Jiyong, Youngbae, Seunghyun, and Daesung will have to take steps to take back BIGBANG. Take back their brand, their music, their art. Their memories together and their past work shouldn’t stay trapped with and tainted by their former member for the rest of their days.

This doesn’t have to be Jiyong signaling a return to the past, or even asking that we remember it; instead, I see it as him reclaiming it. Owning it in ways that are, well, his own, even if that means going about it with ambiguity. Infusing old things with new meaning in a new year ripe with the potential for new beginnings.