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Gender is like that calendar you hung up on the wall months ago and honestly forgot about so it’s never on the correct month

- anonymous

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Hi! So, I decided rather than wait to have sex to "lose my virginity" I decided to buy and use a dildo. However I didn't expect it to hurt quite like it did. It wasn't excruciating but it wasn't comfortable either. Anyway, I bled after the fact (I've heard this is normal for the first time?) and I feel uncomfortable downstairs. My questions are: Is it true the hymen stretches or tears (and that's why I bled)? How long does it take to heal? When should I be concerned by the discomfort? Thanks!

Hi Anonymous, 

Thanks for asking this question! It can feel scary if things don’t happen like you expect when you are trying to explore sexuality, which is a good thing to do before you decide to be sexual with a partner. Masturbating can be a great way to learn more about yourself and what you like or don’t like!  

The bleeding can be a result of your hymen tearing, but the hymen can tear from other ways. Some people break theirs by using a tampon, jogging, or dancing. Yours may have been present when you tried masturbating, which could have caused the pain and bleeding. The bleeding could also be caused by your period, or a slight tear in the vaginal opening. 

To reduce pain during sex or masturbation, it may help to make sure your body is well lubricated. The vagina produces natural lubricant when the brain is thinking about sex, so making sure you are adequately turned on ahead of time can be helpful. You can also purchase personal lubricants at the store that can help reduce friction and this might make things feel way better. A word of advice though- if you have a silicone toy, try picking lubricant that isn’t silicone (silicone destroys silicone).  Things should feel good, and if they don’t, either stop or try something else! 

If your pain persists more than a few days and there is bleeding that is unrelated to a period, it would be good to go see a doctor. You know what’s best for your body!

Take care, and I hope this helps! 

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Thanks for existing @transgenderteensurvivalguide

I'm 12 and understanding that I'm too young to be MTF transgender, or at least express it. How can I stay happy with myself until I get older?

Ryn says:

You are not too young. Some people know their gender as young as five or six, or even earlier. You also are not too young to express it if that is what you want. You can meet with a gender therapist or talk about it with your parents or doctor if you think they’d be supportive. In terms of medical things you could do now, you could take puberty blockers, which will block the effects of testosterone on your body as you begin to go through puberty, so that later on, when you’re 16 or a little older, you could take estrogen without having ever had the effects of testosterone. If you don’t feel safe expressing yourself or coming out, that’s another story. In that case, I would involve yourself in trans communities online, become involved in your school’s GSA or Rainbow Alliance or similar organization if it’s safe for you to do so, and perhaps experiment in ways it’s safe for you to do so using gender neutral clothing (I’ve been partial to jeans, big sweatshirts, and flannel shirts, but whatever works for you/makes you feel confidant and happy. I also grew my hair out so it was a little longer). The most important things here are that you are safe and happy. It is up to you to figure out what is the most likely to keep you safe and happy. We are always here to help as you continue down your journey. 

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Book of the Day

“This Book is Gay” by Juno Dawson

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Please share this simple #1-2-3 with anyone who says “voting doesn’t matter”

1. How TF do you think PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA got elected? Magic? 

TRUST ME - the “powers that be” did NOT want him to be president, but THE PEOPLE DID AND THEY VOTED.

2. What did President Barack Obama do after he was elected? HE APPOINTED THESE TWO WOMEN TO THE SUPREME COURT TO JOIN FORCES WITH THE NOTORIOUS R.B.G., WHO THEN MADE MARRIAGE EQUALITY THE LAW OF THE LAND. YOU’RE WELCOME.

3. IF THINGS HAD GONE ANOTHER WAY - VOTING-WISE - YOU’D HAVE SEEN A NEW TEAM THAT LOOKS A LOT MORE LIKE THIS RUNNING YOUR REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS - AND PROTECTING LGBTQIA+ RIGHTS -  FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS. OH RIGHT, SOMEBODY WHO’S SEXIST & RACIST AF:

AKA: SAY GOODBYE TO REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS, HELLO TO RISING SELF-INDUCED ABORTION & WOMEN’S MORTALITY RATES, PLUS THE RETURN OF JIM CROW AND OH BTW IT’S OPEN F'ING SEASON ON LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE 2017

TL;DR VERSION:

1. WAKE THE F*CK UP 2016 - THIS IS NOT A F’ING DRILL 

2. YES VOTING MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE

3. U.S. READERS REGISTER TO VOTE HERE AND PLEASE SHARE!

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go vote!

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take care of yourself today and every day :)

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Black LBGTQ History Icons

Marsha P. Johnson

A leader of the Stonewall Riots. According to several eyewitnesses, Marsha was the one who “really started it”. She was “in the middle of the whole thing, screaming and yelling and throwing rocks and almost like Molly Pitcher in the Revolution or something”

Dedicated her life to activism:

Co-founded the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (later renamed Street Transgender Action Revolutionaries)

Ensured that the young drag queens, trans women and other street kids on Christopher Street were fed and clothed. Marsha also housed them whenever she could. 

In the 1980s, she was an activist and organizer in ACT UP. 

Stormé DeLarverie

Also a leader in the Stonewall Riots - has been identified as the “butch lesbian that threw the first punch” against the police officers.

Several eye-witnesses recollections also recognize her as the cross-dressing lesbian that yelled “why don’t you guys do something” at the bystanders that evoked the reaction from them that helped make Stonewall a defining moment in history.

Unofficially worked at gay bars who otherwise couldn’t afford security.

Bayard Rustin

Was a leading strategist of the U.S. Civil Rights Movement between 1955-1968:

The formidable behind the scenes figure of the civil rights movement who organized the March on Washington

Through his influence, the civil rights leadership adopted a non-violent stance.

Is and was often overlooked in African-American history because of the public’s discomfort with his sexual orientation.

Supported LGBTQ rights and movements.

Was posthumously awarded Rustin the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Barack Obama.

Miss Major Griffin-Gracy

Another leader in the Stonewall Riots.

Has been involved in community efforts since 1978. She has worked at local food banks, provide services for trans women suffering from addiction or homelessness. During the AIDS epidemic she also provided healthcare and funeral services.

Is currently serving as the Executive Director for the Transgender GenderVariant Intersex Justice Project, working to assist transgender persons who are disproportionately incarcerated under a prison-industrial complex.

Alvin Ailey

At the young age of 22, Alvin AIley became Artistic Directer for the Horton Dance Company where he choreographed as well as directed scenes and costume designs.

Formed the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre in 1958 but continued to choreograph for other companies.

Ailey’s signature works prominently reflects his Black pride.

Is credited for popularizing modern dance. 

Was also posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Barack Obama.

Feel free to add anyone I’ve missed!

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Ask for and respect people’s pronouns. 

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a few days ago my bf fingered me and for the next few days i was pretty sore down there but i didn’t think anything of it. but he fingered me again last night and now i’m bleeding and sore. i don’t get very wet when i’m aroused and we didn’t have lube, could i be bleeding because i was too dry and my skin got irritated or is my boyfriend just going too hard? im not really sure what to do about the bleeding how should i take care of it?

My apologies in the length of time it has taken me to replyto your post.  Following a discussionwith our Nurse Practitioner I have a few tips that may be helpful.

1.      The use of lubrication may assist in preventingyour concerns from occurring again.

2.      Wait for the bleeding and soreness to go awaybefore resuming sexual activity.

3.      You may also want to ensure that the fingernailsof your boyfriend are properly manicured.

4.      Lastly to cover all basis it may be in your bestinterest to go in for STI testing to ensure the cause of the bleeding is notrelated to any STI’s and to consult with your medical provider.

Thanks and I hope this helps,  

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Let’s Talk Month

It’s National Let’s Talk Month! A campaign with @Advocates for Youth and @plannedparenthood that emphasizes the importance of parents talking to their children about sexual health! 

At Planned Parenthood, we strongly believe that these conversations are important and shouldn’t be awkward in any way! However, if you are unable to talk to a parent or guardian about any sex ed questions you know we’ve got your back! As always, you can submit an ANONYMOUS question to our Inbox and one of our educators will answer it right away! 

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basically 

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Children deserve to be able to explore their gender identity without being forced into a role that doesn’t fit them.  Here are some great tips for how you can teach children about gender.

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1. Originally, this remake of A Star Is Born was going to be directed by Clint Eastwood and star Beyoncé.

2. Bradley Cooper started writing the script in 2015 while he was wrapping up performances of The Elephant Man on Broadway.

3. Similar to how Jack and Ally meet, one of the first times Cooper and Gaga met was when she was singing “La Vie en Rose” at a cancer benefit — this was the moment Cooper decided to cast her.

4. When Cooper went to Gaga’s house early in the audition process, he made her wipe away all of her makeup, saying that he wanted her to be “completely open. No artifice.”

5. Lady Gaga changed her hair and stopped wearing makeup months before filming started in order to get into character.

6. To get the movie green-lit by Warner Bros., Cooper played executives a recording of him and Gaga singing “Midnight Special” by Creedence Clearwater Revival together.

7. Once Gaga was on board, Cooper finished the script with her in mind. He said, “I asked her so many questions, and wanted to mine so much of the things that she told me. That completely formed the creation of Ally.”

8. Before casting Sam Elliott in the film, Bradley Cooper worked for six months to make his voice sound like Elliott’s.

9. They filmed the entire movie in only 42 days.

10. Cooper based Jackson Maine’s stage persona on Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder. Cooper said, “I went up to Seattle and spent four or five days with him and I asked him 9,000 questions.”

11. One of the choices Cooper made while playing Jack was to have him take his hat off while he’s on stage to show that he’s not hiding behind something up there — Jack also takes his hat off in the garage at the end of the film.

12. Some of the big concert scenes with Jack and Ally were filmed the week between Lady Gaga headlining both weekends of Coachella in 2017.

13. Gaga helped Cooper get a feel for what a real-life concert is like backstage — Gaga was even candid about how drugs are readily available once you become famous.

14. While filming, Gaga and Cooper developed a shorthand. When Cooper wanted Gaga to evoke a feeling of warmth and love he would whisper “Tony” — a nod to Gaga’s close relationship with Tony Bennett.

15. In order to give the film a feeling of authenticity, Cooper casted Gaga’s actual dancers, choreographer, and hair and makeup artists.

16. Lukas Nelson, Willie Nelson’s son, helped co-write a majority of the songs — Cooper approached him about the project after seeing him play guitar at a Neil Young concert.

17. Nelson and his band, Promise of the Real, appear as Jackson and Ally’s band in the film as well.

Continue reading.

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Are you an LGBTQ+ teen (13-19)? Are you interested in helping create a welcoming space online for others? Apply to be a part of the Youth Advisory Panel for Q Chat Space, a new digital LGBTQ+ center.

As a member of the Youth Advisory Panel, you will:

Set up and produce content for social media profiles for Q Chat Space

Promote Q Chat Space to your own social circles

Attend support groups regularly and provide input and feedback to facilitators about how groups are going

Apply here>>

(You can also do an audio or video submission)

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Coming out is a process, and it’s different for everyone. There isn’t one right way to do it, and you can come out on your own terms in whatever way feels best for you.