#yk cis neurotypical a more standard body type boring interests normal and well regulated emotions yk stuff like that? :’)
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why can’t i just be a normal fucking person
#vent vent vent#rant rant rant#moi#feels#uh yeah#i don’t know how many times i’ve cried today but it was more than it shoudlve been#i know this isn’t a productive or good way of thinking but i wish i was normal#yk cis neurotypical a more standard body type boring interests normal and well regulated emotions yk stuff like that? :’)#i hate that [she] hurt my feelings and barely apologized and i’m here thinking aboit apologizing for my feelings being hurt in the first#place. like fuck. why am i like this? if only i was neurotypical my reaction probably wouldn’t have been so strong and i couldve hid that#i felt hurt at all and she wouldn’t have known and i wouldn’t have spent the entire lesson sitting there and being such a stupid fucking#heulsuse and i wouldve been able to go home and shower without taking 2 hours in the shower bc i was crying too much#and i wouldn’t have a fucking headache right now because i wouldn’t have cried#and it wouldn’t have been an issue anyway because it woudlve never come up in the conversation because if i was cis i wouldn’t even fucking#care (or maybe i would but it wouldn’t hurt like it did) and i hate being in the closet honestly#i hate this cisheteronormative society so much because if it wasn’t like that i wouldn’t have to feel like this right now because the whole#cause would be gone#also fuck the mottokomittee for that stupid motto they came up with#this whole thing is making me want to not exist honestly like fuck all of this#and also. fuck k from that komitee especially i wouldn’t be surprised if she came up with that supid motto. i mean she is the one who used#to be friends with that terf before she left so yk. fuck k. but like actually i don’t know what to do#i wish i wasn’t like this#and im so sorry to anyone reading this#i jeut really needed to let this all go and its kinda painful and idk what#to do anymore#i don’t want to just miss part of the mottowoche later but i also really don’t want to have to misgender myself in front of everyone in a#situation that will literally be filmed and watcged by almost the entire school#i hate this so much#like i dislike it as a motto on its own because its stupid and uncreative but also because its rly cisnormative and i hate it as a nonbinary#person because i’m in the closet and definitely not about to out myself over thsi motto but i also fucking refuse to do this
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