#yk rabbits are supposed to mean good luck and such

[muzzled-kelevra]

Thank you so much for your response! It's nice to know what happened to the blog! I thought it got banned or something tbh

And yeah, I don't really know why the whole thing happened, I guess maybe it was just hormones and him discovering his body and wanting to do something with it? Like how kids discover they have private parts and touching them feels good so they keep doing it you know? It's really hard to wrap my head around but it feels so simple at the same time if that makes sense (also he was only like a year younger than me, I should clarify that, so he was probably 7-8 and I was most likely 8-9)

But I'd like to hear your experience too if you're comfortable sharing, it's nice in a disturbing and like saddening way to realise that other people have gone through that too. If that makes sense? Like you said it helps us/me feel less alone

No worries! Sorry for the scare about it, Tumblr's always been kind of intimidating and it's an iffy thing with my parents lol. If I ever do delete the blog or my account, I'd definitely say something and give it time before I do, and maybe socials in case people wanted to find me elsewhere.

And, I see. Hmm.. it could be a lot of different reasons, but my advice is to try not to dwell on the what ifs and motifs and stuff that was and is out of your control. I'm sure everyone falls into the rabbit hole but shouldn't always chase the rabbit, yk?

And I completely get what you mean. It feels validating to me when others can relate though it does make me feel guilty and sad and stuff cause like "someone has this trauma too? noo 😭"

BELOW CUT — TW: COCSA? (nothing in depth)

Anyway,, yeah when I was around 13 (them as well), one of my cousins (who had previously been abused in foster care) tried to get romantic with me a lot. They'd say things like "If we weren't family I would date you" etc. Hugs lasted too long, yk, usually stuff you'd see in a relationship. Nothing in depth ever happened but I didn't realize it was bad until my parents stepped in and I had several online friends tell me that wasn't okay. Looking back, I moreso feel ashamed of myself and very grossed out, but I try to keep in mind that it was a negative outlet for them and I don't think either of us saw the issue. Benefit of the doubt, I suppose. We don't talk anymore and I like to keep it that way considering they've done worse to their siblings (who have vented to me before); but I moved on from that by generally talking about it with my therapist. I still have trauma from it but to me at this point it's moreso a "It happened, I can't change that, it's time to move on" situation.

To be fair I also have a lot of dissociation so I might also have emotional amnesia from it.

Best luck to you though. You're valid in your feelings and I hope you heal!