#york & tex when they see wash: you are our friend now we are having soft tacos later

[iamrizaka]

the sillies

[nachoaveragenacho]

Happier- Song fic

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// Washlina - Yorklina // Afterlife York is jealous // soft angst //

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  Walking down 29th and park

I see her. She's right there. I could almost reach out and touch her.

  I saw you in each other's arms

He's there too. The one that took all that joy from me. I was so close to having it, but then he came into her life and fucked my chance up with just a smile.

  Only a month we’ve been apart

I remember the last time I saw her like it was yesterday. The day she left me for him.

  You look happier

The same smile she gave me when I made a joke was there, only its been awhile since she let it show around me. It's been years.

  I saw you walk inside a bar

The one place I thought was our hangout place until you had let Wash know we had one. The once-secret place that I'd never go back to sober.

  He said something to make you laugh

She touched his arm and let out a different laugh this time. It didn’t sound like she was laughing through the pain anymore. 

  I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours

The way She looked at him, and her eyes wrinkle in the corners. I thought she was just saving the smile for a special occasion, turns out she was saving it for a special someone and that someone would have never been me.

  Yeah, you look happier, you do

She looks brighter than you ever did with me. Her hair is down,  she doesn't have any mak-up on, she never used any. She never did.

  Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you 

I didn’t mean to, but that doesn’t help the fact that I did. I hurt her when she told me about him. I did multiple times and I can’t change anything now. It’s too late. 

  But ain’t nobody love you like I do

The one time she needed someone, I was there. I was there, right by her side when I thought I was going to lose her. That never helped the fact that she was already so far out of my grip.

  Promise that I will not take it personal, baby

I never took anything personal and that's one of the things she admired about me. We joked around, but she didn’t know how much those moments mean to me. 

  If you're moving on with someone new

I knew she would one day. It was no secret to everyone that they had been getting closer in the weeks leading up to our fight, and the most painful thing of all is that she didn’t tell me. I thought she trusted me.

  Cause baby you look happier, you do

I’ve seen the way he takes care of her after she's been hurt, and the way he carries her back to the showers after missions. It's not just smiling, it’s the way she carries herself when he's around, It’s almost like they’re meant for each other.

  My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too

I haven’t quite felt like myself since you started eating with him, and I let the anger be heard in my voice when I told her I wasn’t entirely happy with it. I was starting to believe we were more than just friends, and honestly, I thought she did want more than that with me. I shouldn’t have said anything.

  And until then I’ll smile to hide the truth 

I don’t take my helmet off much anymore. There's no reason to watch the unfiltered smile when that same smile broke my heart.

  But I know I was happier with you 

The pictures we took together, all the notes we’d pass each other during the AI briefings, everything. I have proof we were healthy, but nobody stays healthy forever.

  Sat in the corner of the room

There's nowhere else to sit without feeling exposed to the fact that he keeps trying to show her off like some prized possession. She was so much more to me.

  Everything reminding me of you

From the pictures, I’m not ready to burn, to some of her clothes I'm not ready to give back.

  Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier

The third pack of beer is done, and all I can try to do is convince myself that she made the right choice.

  Aren’t you?

I’ve seen the way she still looks at me. I want to know if she still cares, but I haven’t heard anything from her since that night.

  Ain’t nobody hurt you live I've hurt you

The scars from the one mission I did not cover her are still there. She kept telling me it was fine, but I still blame myself.

  But ain’t nobody need you like I do

She was the first real friend I made, and I feel like a preschooler when I say I thought It was going to last forever.  

  I know that there’s others that deserve you 

I never did deserve her. We have all done things that other people our age wouldn't have been thinking of. 

  But my darling I am still in love with you 

I never fell out of love with the way she’d smile, or the way she’d be okay with me getting a little jealous. I guess it all became too much.

  But I guess you look happier, you do

In a way, I’m glad she’s happy. I just wish it were me making her happy.

  My friends told me one day I'll feel it too 

They keep trying to set me up with Connie, South, or even Tex. They think it’s time to start getting out there again. 

  I could try to smile to hide the truth 

I took my helmet off and looked in the mirror. The bags under my eyes were purple, my face was pale but the scar covering my left eye is as visible as before. Did she leave me because of that?

  I know I was happier with you

I put the shirts, the pictures, and the few hair-ties in a box, and placed it on the top of my shelves. The hole in my chest has yet to disappear.

  Baby, you look happier, you do 

This morning she stole his hoodie after training and ran around while he ran after her. They looked happy.

  I knew one day you’d fall for someone new

It wasn’t hard to figure out she didn't want me. She started to drift, and she stopped showing up to the movie nights. We didn't keep secrets.

  But if he breaks your heart like lovers do

Like I did.

  You know I'll be waiting here for you

Always.

Ao3 Link

[donutdarwin]

RvB Fluff Week: Day Four - Carolina

Prompt: Carolina gets very emotional and sad about the Sigma incident after Chorus (specifically after losing epsilon) and Wash is just a shoulder for her to cry on (platonic) they support one another.

Caboose was the one to go on the tangent about thinking he lost a brother, despite not having one, when Washington first met him. How sad would it be to not have a brother and to lose a brother all in one day? Those words had been Caboose’s, and completely illogical, but had rang in Washington’s mind for weeks now.

A shadow clung to Carolina, dimming her fire. To the teams, she put up a good front- the illusion of the same old Carolina, ready to kick ass and take names. But retirement didn’t offer a lot of asses to kick or names to take; it just offered a lot of time to ruminate and think and reflect and talk to your ghosts. And one particular ghost had haunted Carolina’s sleep since the Freelancer finally reached retirement.

Washington knew they both had plenty of ghosts- he wasn’t the only one to still think about Maine, almost daily now as the hours waxed on listless and humid, and he knew Carolina was equally haunted. Flashes of CT, North, York, South- even Tex. Hell, even Wyoming. There could be no relief, no redemption. The past ended and the dead were dead, buried or not. But that didn’t stop it from creeping into the lonely days, inching Carolina further from the rest of the team, putting up a shield to block her from the closeness they might offer. It took Washington a while to figure out the ghost that haunted her most- a fool, he’d thought maybe it was York, but York was long dead and Carolina had dealt with that. By the time Washington figured it out, he felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

He found her on the sandy beach, pale in the moonlight with shadows under her dulled eyes. Her hair shone fiery as ever, but she didn’t radiate strength and vigor like she used to. And he couldn’t keep watching her deteriorate.

“Heya, Wash,” she greeted him as he walked up, her green gaze remaining on the ever-rolling sea. “Nice night out, huh?”

He sat down next to her on the shore, mimicking her pose: knees drawn up, arms relaxed over them, eyes cast out to the sea. “Yeah, pretty nice. Why are you out here alone?”

She shrugged, a common response from her these days. “I just needed some time to myself. To think, you know, clear my head.”

He didn’t have to ask, already knowing what cobwebs clung, but he wanted her to say it. “What’s so bad that you need to clear your head? We’re in retirement- no fighting, just white-sand beaches and the same idiots we’ve known for years now.”

She snorted. “Right, because that’s my idea of perfect retirement.”

He shrugged. “We can’t all find exact perfection like Illinois did. Is that it? The other Freelancers?”

“Ah, c’mon, Wash…” She trailed off, drawing a few lines in the sand with an idle finger. “We’re always going to be sad about them, aren’t we? They were some of the best friends anyone could ask for, and now all of them are gone. That’s- never going to just go away.”

“Yeah, I know, and you know that, too. Which is why it wouldn’t make sense for that to be what’s wrong.”

He gave her a pointed look, and she turned to defend herself, but as their eyes caught she froze. Her green eyes cast downward again, she smoothed out the sand and dusted off her hand, and then turned back to the sea. Her posture betrayed that she knew that he knew, and he knew that she knew that he knew, and they were going to talk about it, because she needed to talk about it.

“Carolina…”

“It’s Epsilon, okay?” Soft, snappy, defensive- a little broken. “I… Never had siblings. Mom died before that was even a possibility. And he was- well, we had the same dad, and that counted for something. To us, anyway. He was an asshole, and he was based on my dad’s mind, and it was weird, but it was like having a brother, except it wasn’t. And- and I don’t know, I can’t grieve like I lost a brother, because I know it’s not the same as if I had a tangible sibling that I grew up with, but…”

Washington peeled her tense hand back off her knee and twined his fingers with hers. “You can grieve however you feel fit, Carolina. I just don’t want you to tear yourself apart doing it.”

Carolina had never been the type to sigh at the points where others would. She turned instead to the stars, and Washington’s chest pulled to see the watery glimmer brighten her green eyes.

“Wash… I didn’t cry when my mom died. I was five. And I decided she wasn’t in any pain, and I would miss her, and I’d be happy because she’d want me to be happy. Come to think of it… I was never actually all that happy. I didn’t fall apart when I left my dad with a gun and his memories and walked out with Church. I lost both parents, and didn’t ever let it get to me. Then I lost Epsilon, and… It’s a different kind of loneliness. I never got to connect with my mother, and my father wasn’t one for connections. But me and Epsilon connected. Like I did with the Freelancers, but more personally- I knew I could always count on him. And it killed him. And that’s not easy to talk about or get over.”

Washington’s heart twisted. And sure, he’d always been more emotional than her, that was a given. But Carolina’s voice didn’t crack and the shine in her eyes vanished in a few blinks. She never offered a single external sign that she was in pain. And come to think of it, she was usually the one to come rescue others when they were hurt- but Washington didn’t really remember anyone helping her.

“Carolina… You remember when York lost his eye?”

“Of course.”

“How you ran to him, the first on there, calling for medics?”

Wariness pricked in her shoulders. “Yes…?”

“And when Maine was shot in the throat,” Washington ignored the tightness in his throat, “You rushed to do something about it. In the fight against the mercs on Chorus, you would jump to my side in the thick of battle.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is- it’s okay to let others help you, too. I know- I know you don’t want it,” he rushed, and then slowed, “But we care about you, Carolina, hard as it may be to believe. Trust me, I’ll be the first to say I don’t know how it feels. But I know how it felt to lose our other friends, and Tucker and Caboose aren’t doing their best in the wake of losing Church, either.”

“Epsilon.”

Washington half-shrugged. “You guys know him by different names, but it’s the same person. The same death. And Tucker has done nothing to hide his grief- he’s like a PMSing teenager right now- but moping about it and not dealing with it isn’t going to help. So, I’m not saying hire a therapist or spill your guts to me, but… You don’t have to go through it alone.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m here for whatever you need.”

She looked at him a moment, and then laid her head on his shoulder, staring out at the sea again.

“Thanks, Wash. I can’t promise anything, but… I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask.”

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Time’s Running Out: Alpha

Holy shit, here we are! The third story (I'm not counting the PWP snippet okay) in the BFF verse, and likely the grand finale! I'm really excited to get to share this with you guys, I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do!

For those of you who are joining us for the first time... well, what you really need to know is this: York and Tex both survived Blood Gulch, are best friends forever, and Kai, Tucker, and Wash are all dating. And Alpha-Church is also still hanging around somewhere.

I keep coming back to the Chorus trilogy when I write it seems, so when I realized I was bringing this lot to Chorus, I knew I'd be seriously overhauling things. So. Be prepared. We've got four Freelancers here. Drastic measures are going to be taken. My apologies to Miles Luna.

Summary: The Reds and Blues; and their respective Freelancers, find themselves stranded on a strange planet named Chorus. Secrets, lies, and the unexpected seem to lie around every corner, and there might be even larger threats looming over the horizon.

They're possibly even less ready for Chorus than Chorus is for them.

Pairings: Lots of friendships, Suckington, Yorkalina, Chex, eventual Yorkimbalina, possible others.

Next

Also on Ao3

It didn’t matter how many times he did this, York thought he’d never tire of space travel. There was something calming about the way the ship glided through space, about the humming of the engines, about the spiraling patterns the stars formed. He leaned against the large observation window, fingers tapping his thigh in a nervous pattern. The journey back to Valhalla was a long one, and the cramped nature of The Hand of Merope had started to get to him on day three of their trip.

He saw Carolina out of the corner of his eye and tensed for a moment before forcing himself to relax. It was fine, he reminded himself. Things were okay. Sort of.

Carolina stood next to him, saying nothing for a long moment before admitting defeat and speaking first. “We should… talk, shouldn’t we?”

York stared out at the stars for a moment. “Probably,” he admitted. He stopped leaning against the window and turned to face her.

“Who starts?” He asked her, trying to keep his tone light but failing. They’d kissed twice since finding each other again, but York didn’t pretend that it had fixed things.

He wished he could smoke on the ship. Maybe that would make his hands feel less like shaking.

York sat down on one of the couches nearby. Hesitantly, she sat across from him. They were both in their full armor, and York had to stop himself from reaching out to try to remove her helmet, from trying to just see her expressions, so he could get a better idea of what he was dealing with.  

They remained in silence for long enough for Delta to start buzzing nervously.

York forced himself to speak first. “I’m sorry about the Director,” he said quietly.

Carolina looked away. “That’s not what I’m here to talk about,” she said tensely.

“Then talk,” he said. “I… Carolina... I don’t even know where to begin.”

“You picked her,” Carolina said harshly. “You sided with her.”

Of all the openings she had to pick, that was the one she went with? York closed his eyes, even though she couldn’t see what he was doing. “Yes.”

“Why?”

York shrugged. “She came to me. She had proof; proof of what the Director was doing. I couldn’t just… let it happen.”

She seemed prepared to say something so he plowed on. “You were still out, Carolina. And they were already talking about pulling Delta. Tex made her case. She made it, and I chose. Going to you wasn’t an option. We needed to leave if we were going to get anything done. If we were going to help anyone.”

“So that was why?” Carolina demanded. “You needed to ‘do the right thing?’”

York felt something rise in his chest but he shoved it aside. “I joined Freelancer to be a good guy,” he snapped. “We were supposed to help people. End the war! Experimental research, cutting edge technology, the best of the best, all in one place. That was the pitch, wasn’t it? But none of it was true. I couldn’t pretend anymore once Tex showed me Connie’s files. I couldn’t stay, not after that.”

Not even for you, he wanted to say. He didn’t. She had to know it was there. It had to be enough.

He pushed himself to his feet. “I need some air,” he said abruptly.

“York.” Her voice was warning.

“Hold it against me or don’t, Carolina,” he said quietly. “But it seemed like you made up your mind when you stayed away for years.”

Carolina looked away.

<York,> Delta said, disapproving as York strode towards the nearest hallway.

“I know Dee,” York sighed.

York shook his head. He needed nicotine; and Delta was being smug about the addiction too, because of course he was. How had this become his life?

“Found you,” Tex said, and York tried to pretend he hadn’t just jumped. Even without using her camouflage unit, Tex was still sneaky when she wanted to be.

“Hey Tex,” York said, grinning.

She knocked her shoulder against his. “Running again?”

“No!” He paused as she tilted her head, always able to tell when he was lying. The downside to being an awful liar, he supposed. “Okay, maybe a little.”

She huffed. “Do you two have to make everything complicated?” She asked, seeming curious.

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out,” York said, laughing slightly.

She shook her head. “Well, you’ll have lots of time to figure things out back at Valhalla, Private Harris.”

York couldn’t help but snicker at that. “Got to love Delta’s ability to fake paperwork, right?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a reference I should hit you for,” she told him. The two of them kept walking, side by side, and York felt himself relax in her presence. Tex would hate for him to ever tell her that, but she was a comforting person to be around, in her own way.

“Probably. Remind me to get Lopez to cue up some of those old earth shows when we get back. I bet you’ll like it.”

“We’ll see,” Tex said. There was a pause, before she added a quiet, “Sorry I broke your helmet.”

“Eh,” York tapped his fist against the cracked surface of his visor. “I’ll get a new one soon, probably.” He nudged her. “It’s fine. Much better than the last time you cracked my visor, right?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Look I’m just saying, you could have taken my other eye, and you didn’t, so I’m grateful.”

Tex looked like she was considering saying something else, so York drew to a halt. “Look. Tex. It’s fine. No harm done.”

There was a long pause, but then Tex shook her head at him. “Grif’s right, isn’t he?”

“About what? I understand Grif to be right about most things.”

“You really are a masochist.”

York laughed. “Tex, we’ve been friends for how long?”

Tex paused, taking his question seriously. “Not sure.”

York wasn’t sure either; he’d be hard pressed to find a hard starting point; a single moment when he’d looked at Tex and thought of her as a friend. They hadn’t started there, sure. But they’d made it. And now, York honestly wasn’t sure if he could imagine his life without his prickly, awkward, brilliant best friend.

“Years!” York said. “Years, and you’ve only just figured that part out?”

Tex shoved him lightly. “You’re a pain in my ass, York.”

“And you wouldn’t have it any other way,” York said, nudging her back, harder this time.

Tex sighed. “I need to find Church. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye,” York said absently, before starting to continue his exploration of the ship.

He hadn’t been on his own for more than five minutes when he felt the ship shudder and the lights began to flash.

“Okay,” he told Delta. “This time, I swear it’s not our fault.”

<I believe that can be assumed, York.>

Tucker loved that he was getting used to this; waking up between the two of them. He could feel Wash’s heartbeat under his fingertips, and Kai’s hands were wrapped tightly around his waist, keeping him pressed up against the soft curves of her body.

No matter how many times it happened, it was still incredible. The bunk the three of them were sharing was small so that Kai was pressed against the wall and Wash was sometimes on the verge of nearly falling off the bed, but they made it work. And they’d be back to Valhalla soon enough; and Tucker’s head was filled with plans for how to renovate the room they all shared, so they’d have enough room. Not too much room though; Wash slept best when they were all close. No need to mess with a formula that worked.

“Morning,” Wash muttered sleepily.

“Mmm,” was Kai’s contribution. Both of them laughed slightly at that. Wash rolled onto his other side so he could press his forehead against Tucker’s.

“Almost home,” Wash said softly, pressing his lips all-to-briefly against Tucker’s.

“We’re war heroes now,” Tucker grinned, propping himself up as best he could manage without knocking Kai off. “That mean we don’t have to do leg day?”

Wash laughed, and Tucker grinned, savoring the sound, still all-too-rare. “Nope.”

Tucker pouted, but Wash paid no attention to that, instead just brushing Tucker’s hair out of his face, smiling dopily. If Tucker occasionally struggled to believe his luck, Wash almost never believed it. Weeks later and he was still like this, savoring every single touch, every moment, as if he believed it would be snatched away in an instant.

Kai sighed, finally sitting up to wipe at her eyes. “What time is it?”

“Late,” Wash smiled.

“Your-late or my-late?” Kai groused, but she leaned up to peck at Tucker’s cheek. Tucker turned and kissed her properly, tugging her into his lap so that she’d be able to kiss Wash as well once they were done. Sure enough, the second Kai pulled away she reeled Wash in by the straps of the tank top he’d worn to bed, and Tucker laughed as Wash somehow managed to be surprised.

“Come on,” Tucker said, once the two of them were done, because Kai was starting to get that look in her eye that meant “morning sex”, which, although Tucker would normally be all for, he was starving and needed food first. “Let’s go get food.”

“Mmm,” Kai was still eying Wash like she was planning on eating him, so Tucker had to change tactics.

“And coffee?” He added innocently, and there, he had both of their attentions. Their joint addiction to coffee was freaking hilarious.

“Fine,” Kai grumbled, moving off his lap to search for her bra. “But you’re boring.”

“We could always bring the food back—”

“You are not putting maple syrup on my abs,” Wash said blandly, having heard this pitch at least three times by now. “Put on your armor,” he told them. “You know regulations.”

Kai and Tucker both sighed, but grabbed their armor—apparently ships had strict rules about that, due to risks of decompression. They were just starting to head towards the mess hall when the lights started to flash and sirens started to shriek, worse than Donut when Sarge declared a Red Panic.

“I know my ping pong ball trick can move the earth,” Kai yelled, “but this is a seriously delayed reaction!”

“Wait. What?” Wash yelled.

“Well that went fucking horribly,” Epsilon said, hovering over her shoulder.

“Could have been worse,” Carolina said, staring after York. He was different now, so, so different, and she didn’t know how to handle that. She suspected he was the same about her. There was a… heaviness to him she’d never seen before.

There had been a time when being by his side had felt natural, felt normal. They’d fought back-to-back, bantering back and forth, a rare bright spot in the midst of everything else in the world.

But that was gone now. They’d both done their parts to scuttle it, ripping themselves apart just as surely as the Director had. Him by leaving, her by staying away. Carolina was never felt more keenly aware of how long it had actually been since Freelancer had fallen apart than when she looked at York and saw how much he’d changed.

Epsilon nudged her thoughts, trying to pull her out of her gloom, but she ignored him, getting to her feet and moving further down the hallway. It was odd, having another AI in her mind after Eta and Iota. Epsilon was different than them; his presence was steadier, fuller than the other two, who had been buzzing, infrequent, whispering in tandem or in contradictions, sometimes overwhelming her, other times helping her to hit new heights she’d never have been able to hit. It was odd; Epsilon was the last of the fragments, by all rights he shouldn’t be so real, so full, but he managed.

She let her eyes flicker to the side, irritated as she realized he’d succeeded in distracting her. He sent a vague wave of amusement at her, his avatar vanished from view as they moved into the general population of the ship.

<Why’s he so obsessed with being a good guy?> Epsilon demanded. He’d been waiting to ask for a while, she thought, amused. <It’s… really freaking weird.>

Carolina raised one shoulder in a shrug. “He’s always been that way.” Epsilon nudged her mind, asking for permission, and she did the mental equivalent of pushing open a door, letting him explore her memories of “before”. He sorted through them efficiently like he always did, processing things too quickly for her to even notice.

<Still weird,> Epsilon declared when he finished. <You don’t obsess with that stuff.> There was a long pause. <Do you?>

And what a reminder that was, how fresh this partnership was. There was still so much to learn about each other. Had it really only been a few weeks? Carolina drew to a halt, staring out the window as she tried to formulate her thoughts. She frowned, noticing they were drawing close to a planet, but it didn’t look like their destination. “After what I did? What we did?” Carolina shook her head. “Epsilon, I’m not sure if we can ever get all the way back to good. But, I think that we have a chance to do better. And if we wake up everyday and try to make things better, eventually, we might find that better is good enough.”

Epsilon appeared by her side, hovering just over her shoulder, and something stirred inside Carolina that told her that it was right.

“Good enough, huh?” Epsilon mused. “Guess that sounds alright.”

Carolina smiled.

“That was a good little speech there,” he said. “What, did you rehearse it?”

Carolina waved a hand through his projection, a small laugh building in her throat. He snickered, jumping to her other shoulder.

“Look, I’m just saying, I’m pretty sure these things run in the family,” he said, and Carolina felt as if a bolt of electricity had jolted right through her, because…

Carolina threw her hand out wide as the ship suddenly gave a lurch, nearly throwing her off balance. “Epsilon! What’s happening?”

“I—Cee!” Epsilon reappeared in front of her face. “We’ve got to find the guys! The ships crashing!”

Carolina took off at a run, Epsilon throwing the speed boost into full gear, leaving the question of family behind for another day.

The sight of ships crashing was unfortunately common on Chorus, these days. Whatever weapon it was that the Federal Army was using to bring them down was effective. It was incredibly unusual that Kimball would even notice it, but she was outside that day, working with a group of more promising cadets when she saw it.

It wasn’t like most crashes; they happened far away from the Rebel base, far enough away that Kimball wouldn’t know they happened until Felix came back with a few containers of supplies and another grim report of no survivors.

But this time there was a nova in the sky; and Kimball saw everyone’s attention go up as pieces began to fall. Ragged parts of a ship; a big one too.

“Shit,” she breathed.

“That’s new!” Felix said, also staring. “Think the Feds have a new toy?”

Kimball shivered at the idea of them having something that could do that. “God, I hope not,” she said softly. A large piece, still smoking landed nearby. Kimball moved forward to examine it, wondering if she’d be able to tell what had caused the explosion. She kneeled down to examine it, finding nothing particularly distinct, but then again, she didn’t know much about ships. “Do you have time to take a squad and find the crash site?” She asked, glancing up at Felix, who was still standing, helmet turned towards the sky.

“No problem Kimball,” he said lightly. “I’m sure I’ll be back soon. I’ll let you know if I find anything useful!”

Kimball nodded, and ordered her people to gather the fallen pieces. No need to waste perfectly good scrap metal.

She looked at the sky again, and pushed away any thoughts of survivors. There wouldn’t be any. Not from a crash like that.