#you all do not understand. the ost of totk did something to me like all loz music does but worse

[toasteaa]

Me, two days ago: Surely experiencing the story of totk and ff16 again won't have any lasting repercussions on me!

Me, for two days, the Final Fall and My Star having done irreversible damage to my psyche and I cannot think of anything else but how Link and Clive risked everything to save their beloveds: I will now apply this to every single one of my ships.

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 37

Chapter 37: “Escape”

I originally only wanted to point out yet another Ray head pat, but then I noticed the adorable scene with the kids is the exact hallway we see burning up. Yes it took me this long to make that connection. Hush.

Leslie!! You sweet boy, do not play with butterflies! They're a bad omen in this series! But oh you’re so lucky to have a literal angel descend upon you like that. Pfftt okay that may be pushing it; I know Isabella has done some pretty horrible stuff, but that’s all in the future! Right now she’s a totally innocent and adorable kid!

I love Isabella with all my heart and soul (as if that wasn’t obvious enough) but I still believe they should’ve gave Leslie the credit he deserves for his song rather than have everything be named and referred to “Isabella’s Lullaby,” especially the mandolin version from the first season ost! They could’ve easily named that after him instead! Yeah the significance it holds in regards to her and Ray’s relationship is huge, but at the end of the day it’s still Leslie’s original melody.

Let me get it all out of the way and just say the anime handled Isabella’s entire flashback so much better. It has an unfair advantage since we can actually hear the song, but also because her emotions during Leslie’s shipment make way more sense. The boy she loves is leaving the house forever so naturally she would be upset! Why the manga has her waving and smiling as she says goodbye instead is something I’ll never understand. But hey, that panel helps show that the mandolin wasn’t a totally random addition to the anime when they decided to have Leslie use one in the previous scene rather than sing as he did in manga.

I know Isabella had Ray at 19 (or 20 actually..? it might be that, whatever) and whether she was that age or not when she was finally granted a mom position, I’m in awe that she looks as just as beautiful as she did back then as she does when the series starts. It’s like she didn’t age at all.

I know people will always call her a bad mom because of how she walked the kids to their death and sorta used them for her own survival, but then that logic applies to all the moms & sisters of the story as well since it’s basically in their job description. Despite all the women having the same goal, Isabella strives for perfection for the children’s sake as well. Pardon me for quoting myself in order to save me some time (y’all will see this a week later but currently writing this post out while I wait for my copy of TotK to arrive.. happy release day!):

“She provided her children with a normal lifestyle, not only to keep up the orphanage facade, but knowing that their lives would all be cut shorter than they anticipate. She gave them love in hopes that no one would ever have to feel the dread she felt after Leslie’s death and/or finding out the truth. She tried to delay that horrific fate by encouraging them to learn all they can (like teaching the trio about strategy and chess) so they could achieve higher tests scores and (unknowingly to them) add a couple more months or years onto their lives. Yes it was her job to raise these children to such high standards but she excelled at it for their sake too.”

Of course the glaring difference between Ray retelling the deal flashback and Isabella remembering it is their own emotions. In all of Ray’s flashbacks up to this point, Isabella was cold, threatening and beyond confident, but when we see it from her perspective, she is completely terrified (if only briefly) as she find out Ray is her son moments before he offers the deal to her.

“All those years spent perfecting a fake smile and emotionless exterior like she was trained to have and her son shatters it in an instant... That one moment of weakness speaks volumes to me.” -me, once again being lazy.

The fact the anime had a handful of opportunities to animate this moment from Ray’s perspective and chose to show us Isabella’s memory instead.. aahh, it’s a good move. Granted, Ray never delve into his mother-son relationship whenever he mentioned it previously, so saving that critical information for Isabella’s flashback made the reveal hit so much harder.

Isabella’s desire to survive is a valid reason to accept the mom position, but doing so out of pure spite against the demons so they couldn’t have her as their next meal is incredible and just fits her personality so well in my eyes. Of course the big downside to all that is leading other children to their own demise, but in no way was she ever ecstatic about it. While I think no death made her as distraught as Leslie’s did, she loved all the kids she raised and I have no doubt sending them all off to their own shipments was still extremely hard for her. As we saw in ep1, Isabella was humming Leslie’s song while walking Conny down to the gate and as we learned in this chapter, our lovely lady sings that song to stay strong.

Can I please hug whomever it was on the anime staff that had the brilliant idea to have Isabella let her hair down because DAMN she is so GORGEOUS!!

The anime is superior in so many ways for this scene. Not only because of how beautiful Isabella is right here (though it is a real big reason for me), but with everything else previously mentioned too. I swear I’ll never get over this though.. oh what I wouldn’t give to see Demizu draw this woman like this just once.

Go ahead and catch me sobbing over all of this!!

Simply amazing how she somehow concluded that Phil was in on the whole plan as well. But look at her, openly caring for the children without even worrying about her caretaker status anymore. Seems no different from before, huh? That’s because she’s always cared! If ya listen closely you can hear the broken chidoroki record saying “best mom” on repeat. And I certainly can’t forget to mention the comforting head pat as well. Aahh, no wonder your son does this so much to the other kids too.

Okay well, hate to burst your bubble here sweetie, but just because you won’t personally see the shipments, doesn’t mean they’ll all stop completely. I assure you they’re still happening in the other plantations, even with Isabella reducing the frequency of them once she becomes Grandma. And the whole idea of not watching others die.. ohhh, I wish I could be hopeful for you about that but unfortunately y’all are still gonna witness some hard loses and countless close calls soon enough.

I truly am so proud that the fifteen of them managed to escape that harsh reality they were forced into. And as much as I don’t wanna mention the anime anymore after this because of that unspeakable second season, it’ll probably still happen. I enjoyed all the comparisons so far since both medias just had relatively small changes here and there, but with the second season however.. yeah there’s gonna be a ton of complaints. (I do praise it occasionally, but it’s still a huge upset.)

Favorite panel/moment:

There’s so many I wanna choose from thanks to all the Isabella moments, but I really love this entire page. Seeing her sing Leslie’s song to the children to calm them (& probably herself) down is so sweet. I wish the anime had given us that. They had the main theme playing which includes the song’s melody anyway, so I can’t really complain too much about that. But learning she indirectly helped the escapees by retrieving their ropes so the farm doesn’t know exactly where they escaped from is also wonderful. She really didn’t care about her life anymore once she accepted defeat, which is kinda sad in a way, but still so wholesome that she’s prioritizing everyone’s needs and happiness above her own.

Oh, you know how Isabella sings the song to keep herself strong? Ya ever wonder if Ray’s done so for the same reason? Yeah he used the song to help confirm he was Isabella’s son, but the only other time we hear it from him was right before Emma finds him waiting in the dinning hall. Just imagining him being that scared to finally put his crazy pyro plan into action to end his own life and using the song to try and calm himself down.. ow, my heart.