#you cant figure out whats considered the acceptable and proper way to exist around others' and thats a big part of her whole deal.

[sualne]

to be fair she can't remember anyone's name.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

One Short Day

A JSE Fanfic

Yay, I wrote something that isn’t connected to pain for once in my life! Or at least, the most you get are hints and maybe a moment. I was planning on working on something else, but...I don’t know, I just felt like I needed something softer, and I’m sure there are people who need that too. So behold, an attempt at mostly-fluff! I just wanted to write the boys having fun out on the town, simple enough ^-^

It was rare that there was a full day they could all be together. A day where Schneep wasn’t working, Chase wasn’t recording, Marvin didn’t have a show, and Jackie didn’t have to bolt off at the last minute to do heroic vigilantism. A day where they could just do whatever they wanted, all of them, together.

They met up at Jackie’s apartment building. Naturally, JJ arrived first, then Schneep and Chase at about the same time. Just when they were starting to get worried, Marvin showed up, sprinting up to the group and skidding to a halt beside them.

“Late again, I see?” Jackie said when Marvin finally caught his breath. “Maybe we should just tell you we’re meeting thirty minutes earlier than we actually are.”

“Gimme a break.” Marvin rolled his eyes. “My phone was out of battery so I couldn’t check the time, then I got distracted.”

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “With what?”

“Um...” Marvin looked away, embarrassed. “I may have started playing Plague Inc...for an hour...or more.”

“Dude. Set a timer next time or something,” Chase said. “Ask JJ if you can borrow one of his watches if you have to, I dunno, anything.”

“Enough of this, we are wasting minutes,” Schneep said, checking his own watch. “Jackie decided what to do, what is it?”

Jackie immediately brightened. “Okay, so, we all know JJ hasn’t seen much of the town.” Everyone nodded. “So I thought we could give him the grand tour! Get lunch, go to the park, and I think the fair is open tonight so we can finish with that. That good with everyone?”

“So we’re just gonna walk all over town?” Chase asked. “Only two of us can drive, and none of us have a car right now.”

“Toughen up, Chase, walking’s good for you!” Marvin teased. “Right? Schneep, you’re a doctor, tell him I’m right.”

“He’s right,” Schneep said.

“See?!”

JJ snapped his fingers for attention. I thought we were wasting time? I certainly can’t lead the way, so I’ll ask one of you to.

“Right!” Jackie started off. “C’mon guys, lunch is waiting for us!”

They ended up at a local restaurant near the center of town called Kassie’s. It was a quaint little place, and since it was a warm day they decided to sit at a table outside. The chipper waitress gave them a plate of free fries, then took their order, and headed back inside.

“Is it just me, or is it kind of hot today?” Chase asked, fanning himself with some of the napkins.

“No, it’s not just you. God, I’m dying,” Jackie agreed.

“Jackie, you are not only wearing long sleeves, you are wearing two layers of them,” Schneep pointed out with a smile.

“Oh, you’re one to talk, Mr. Sweater-all-the-time!” Jackie rolled his eyes. “What about Jays? He’s got that vest/dress shirt on.”

JJ looked aghast. You four can run around and show your arms all you like, but I’ll have you know it isn’t proper for a gentleman!

“Are you implying we aren’t gentlemen?” Marvin asked, right before tossing a fry into the air and catching it in his mouth.

JJ raised an eyebrow. Indeed.

“I don’t care, it’s hot. I’m taking this off.” With a few flailing arms, Jackie pulled his hoodie over his head and tugged it off, revealing a Marvel-themed T-shirt underneath. “Ah. That’s better.” He looked around to see the others staring at him with wide eyes. “What?”

“Holy shit, Jackie!” Chase yelled. “Your arm!”

“Wh—oh fuck I forgot I was wearing short sleeves today.” Jackie looked down at his left arm. “Yeah, okay, I got scars, you can look all you want.”

“So that’s why I’ve never seen you in T-shirts,” Marvin realized. “Jackie, what the fuck happened?”

Jackie frowned, then coughed awkwardly. “Y’know...I’d rather not talk about it right now. Maybe later. Besides, Schneep already knows the story. ‘S how we met.”

“Honestly, you three are making mountains out of mole hills,” Schneep said. “Is fine now. You should see his torso, now those are scars.”

That only made the other three look more worried. Jackie sighed. “Look, guys, we’re having a fun day. We’re gonna have fun, and not gonna get all concerned, though I do appreciate it. And you—” he glared at Schneep “—need to stop saying that, ‘cause it makes it sound like I lost some epic battle instead of just having top surgery.”

Chase and Marvin relaxed in unison. “I’m still convinced you have, I dunno, fucking bullet scars or something,” Marvin muttered as Chase pulled the remains of the fries towards him.

“Oh yeah, but Schneep’s talking about the surgery. He’s done this before, and it’s no longer funny!” Jackie looked pointedly at Schneep when saying that last part, who just responded with a massive grin.

JJ was the only one who still looked concerned, but now that was paired with confusion. He looked around at the others. What is top surgery?

You could almost hear the hiss as the others all inhaled sharply in unison. They’d all forgotten for a moment that JJ didn’t know. Schneep cleared his throat. “Jackie, would you like to explain?”

“Right yeah. God, where do I start with this?” There was a slight pause in the conversation as the waitress returned with their food. The moment she was out of earshot, Jackie started up again. “Alright, so...” he leaned forward, hands clasped together, eyes wide and nervous. “You know how I call myself Jackieboy Man, right?”

JJ nodded. A moniker I never understood, but yes.

“Well, I didn’t always call myself that. Neither did anyone else. Because, well, they all thought that...I was a, uh, girl. Even I did. For the longest time I just sort of...accepted it. I only started to figure it out in high school. I got my first job, and one of the customers called me ‘that nice lady,’ and hearing it...just sort of surprised me. Like someone gave the wrong answer to a really easy test question. So...I started thinking, and eventually I realized that I wasn’t...actually a girl. That was when I renamed myself.”

JJ didn’t look any less confused. Why would they not understand that? Wouldn’t they be able to...see that you are not?

Jackie winced. “Well, no...you see, I...fuck.” Jackie put his head in his hands, took a deep breath, then looked up again. “I was born...in the wrong body. Top surgery is...it’s to get rid of the parts I didn’t want. Are you...are you getting this now?”

After a moment, JJ’s eyes widened. He nodded hesitantly.

“Okay. Good. Great.” Jackie sighed. “I don’t know if this word existed in the twenties, but nowadays we have ‘transgender’ as...a thing. When someone is something other than what their body is born as. I’m still a he. Or, just, anything but she, really. Literally call me anything but a girl. And please, don’t ask about what my name was before. Or what’s...down there. Those questions make me...really uncomfortable.”

My good man! JJ signed. Why would I do such a rude thing? And to my dear friend, nonetheless. 

Jackie’s shoulders slumped. He leaned back in his chair and exhaled in relief. He’d been dreading this conversation, but better to rip the bandaid off now. “Thanks, man. I...appreciate your understanding.”

JJ smiled. No trouble at all, Jackie! I may not fully grasp the concept, but that’s no reason to disrespect your wishes.

“If you want, I can answer questions. Just...later. And as long as you get I don’t represent everyone who’s trans.”

JJ nodded and gave a thumbs-up. There was silence for a moment, before Chase broke it by saying “Hey, guys, I made a Jenga tower out of fries.”

Schneep rolled his eyes, and immediately knocked over Chase’s tower.

“Aw you bitch!” Chase gasped. “You didn’t even play the game right!”

“Fuck your games. Actually eat the food like it’s supposed to be.”

“You’re just jealous cause you got a salad instead.”

“Maybe I am! Did you think of that?!”

“Dude, I just said I did!”

The rest of lunch was covered in the blanket of familiar banter. Jackie smiled to himself. God, he was so glad nothing changed.

About two hours later, the boys had made their way to the southern part of the city. That was where the park was. It had an official name, but everyone just called it “the park” because there was only one of them and it was shorter. The park itself was pretty big, with trees, paths, flowerbeds, and two playgrounds at either end.

Since it was the middle of the afternoon, there were quite a few families with young children hanging around, parents watching their kids climb all over the jungle gyms and pushing them on the swings. While Marvin and Jackie walked ahead, pulling JJ with them and talking his ears off, Chase and Schneep hung back a bit. Chase was staring at the families on the playground.

“Chase? Are you okay?” Schneep asked gently. 

“Yeah...yeah, I’m fine. It’s not a down day.” Schneep gave him a Look. “No, really! It’s just...y’know, seeing all the kids kinda bums me out. You know?”

“Of course I do, Chase,” Schneep said. He was probably the only one of the boys who did. “If you are feeling upset, you can go home.”

“No! God, no, that’s not what I meant at all. This has been good so far. I don’t want it to end.” Chase frowned. “Now I’m just...man. I’m starting to lose it.”

“Chase.” Schneep grabbed his hand. “If you are not enjoying yourself, we can always go do something more quiet. We would hate to push you to do something you are not up to.”

Chase considered it for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah, it’s not too bad. It helps that you guys are here, I think. But I’ll let you know...if it gets too much.”

Schneep gave him a long look, before finally judging that everything was alright. “Okay. You have to do that, or I am going to break into your home at night and yell at you for lying.”

“Okay, okay, I get the idea,” Chase laughed. He looked down at their clasped hands. “You’re not worried people are gonna think we’re a couple, then?”

“What? Oh. Is there no such thing as regular hand-holding in this country?! Besides, it should not fucking matter. Also you are not my type anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re not mine, either. You’re a guy.” Chase and Schneep both had a good laugh at that.

Marvin looked over his shoulder at the two of them. “Are you two gonna walk fast or what?”

“Or what,” Chase said with a smirk.

“Oh, you’re hilarious. A fucking comedic genius. Hey guys!” he said that last part to Jackie and JJ. “We’re gonna slow down so these two assholes can join us.”

“Marvin, how dare you,” Schneep said, mock-offended. “At least be more creative in your insulting us.”

“No.” The two mini-groups merged together to form the main group once again. “So what’re you two talking about?”

“Chase is worried that hand-holding makes a couple,” Schneep tattled.

“Bullshit,” Marvin stated. Jackie went “yeah!” in the background. JJ frowned at the use of language, but nodded. “What makes a couple is the kissing. And romantic interest in each other, which leads to the former.”

“You say, having not been on a date in at least five months,” Jackie muttered.

“Shut your stupid face, you...lovely person.” Marvin pulled his wand out of his pocket and twirled it, like he did when he was nervous. “We’ve all been kinda busy lately.”

“Yeah...that’s true,” Jackie sighed. “But maybe if you went out more, you could find someone you could go out with. Just once, if a commitment isn’t your thing right now.”

Marvin frowned. “Why in the wide world of wingmen would I go on a date once deliberately?”

“A night of fun?” Schneep suggested.

“With a complete stranger that I have no interest in? No. I need to have some intrigue in whoever they end up being.”

“None of you are gonna get anywhere with him,” Chase said. “He doesn’t get one-night stands.”

“Damn right I don’t! There’s no point!”

And it just seems improper, JJ signed. If you aren’t going to court someone, don’t approach them at all.

“Marvin! You have an ally!” Jackie gasped. 

“Good. Finally, someone who agrees with me.” Marvin held up his hand and, after a moment of figuring out, JJ high-fived it. “Yeah! There we go, you got it!”

Jackie checked the time on his phone. “Alright, it’s starting to get a bit late. If we want to get enough time at the fair, we’re gonna have to book it to the eastern side.”

They didn’t actually run the whole way there, despite Jackie wanting to. By the time they got to the fair the sun was starting to set. They bought tickets and headed inside, where the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster towered over the smaller rides and the carnival games. It was a weekday, but it was one of the first days the fair was open, so the fairgrounds were crowded but not packed.

Chase gasped. “Games. We can do the games first.”

You do realized they’re all rigged, right? JJ asked.

“Who cares? They’re fun! Games now.”

Soon, the others started to suspect that the reason Chase was so eager to play games was because he knew he would win every time. The dude was scarily good. A combination of sheer luck, skill, and fuck-it-let’s-take-a-chance-ness led to many more victories than the others, something Marvin and Schneep immediately called him out for.

“You are cheating, I am sure of it!” Schneep huffed, folding his arms.

“Nah, just have a knack for it. And, in this case, practice.” Chase tossed one of the wooden balls back and forth while he waited for the carnival worker to hand him his prize. “Ya gotta aim for a bit above the spot where the third jug sits on top of the other two, then throw hard. It’s a bit of an arc.”

“No, you’re a cheater,” Marvin asserted, muttering darkly.

“Aw, c’mon! Here, will this make you less salty?” Chase accepted his stuffed prize from the worker, then handed it right over to Marvin. “I got it for you! You like cats.”

Marvin glared down at the plushie. “You’re lucky it has a cute face,” he said.

“See?!” Chase smiled. He was actually having a good time. It was a good change of pace from the park.

Eventually, everyone had a prize except for JJ. They were running out of games to play, but then Jackie spotted one of those ‘find the ball under the shuffling cups.’ “Hey guys, you up for that one?”

JJ brightened. I’m actually quite skilled at those!

“Well, then, let’s go!” Jackie pulled him over, the others in tow.

The carnival worker was calling out the rules of the game. “You get one, you win one of these lovely roses, you get two in a row, you win one of these tiny fellows here, and you get three in a row, you win one of these adorable penguins! Step right up, step right up!”

“Hey!” Jackie waved to get the worker’s attention. “We want to play!”

“Well then, young sirs, the rules are simple. Keep your eye on the ball, see right here, right here, it’s under the middle cup. Now watch as I take the cup this way, then that, then this and oh look at that! It’s goin’ fast, it’s goin’ fast don’t lose it don’t lose it! Now, which one is the ball under?”

Jackie was fairly sure he knew where it was, but he turned to JJ anyway. “So, which one?” he asked.

JJ bit his lip, then reached forward to point at one of the cups...only for the worker to slap his hand away. “I’m sorry sir, please don’t touch the cups. To prevent tamperin’, see? Just tell me.”

JJ looked a bit stunned at the worker’s aggressive tone. But he signed It’s under the left one.

“Excuse me?”

“He says it’s under the left one,” Marvin jumped in.

“...ah, I see.” The worker lifted up the cup to reveal the ball. “Seems you were right. Do you want to try again?”

The boys glanced uneasily between each other. The worker’s tone had dropped from the polite-carnival talk to one that was a bit...short. She was also talking much slower than she was before, drawing out the vowel sounds. “He can hear you perfectly fine,” Chase said. “He just can’t talk.”

“Mmm...I see...” The worker pursed her lips. “Do you want to try again?”

They all nodded. The worker was silent this time as she shuffled the cups, faster than before. When she stopped, she looked at Jackie. “Which one is the ball under?”

Jackie had a vague idea where, but he wasn’t sure. “JJ, do you know?”

The left one again, JJ signed, less enthusiastically.

“The left,” Jackie translated.

The worker frowned as she revealed the ball under the left cup. “You boys aren’t cheating, are you? Those weird gestures seem like symbols.”

Marvin laughed bitterly. “Yeah, they’re symbols alright. They stand for words. Do you not know how sign language fucking works? He’s telling us the answers ‘cause he’s the best one at it. Now let’s do this one more time.”

The worker shuffled the cups impossibly fast. Once more, she asked Jackie where the ball was. This time, he had no idea, and just looked at JJ. JJ, in turn, stiffened a bit, eyes hardening. It’s under the right one, though I wouldn’t put it past her to sneak it up her sleeve.

“Right,” all the boys said in unison.

The worker reluctantly lifted up the rightmost cup to show the ball sitting underneath. “Congratulations,” she said dully. “You win one of the big prizes. What color do you want?”

Turquoise, JJ signed. “Turquoise,” Jackie translated.

They walked away from the booth in silence. After a few moments of walking, Marvin said, “I could totally put a curse on her.”

“No,” Jackie said firmly.

“Just one little spell. She can lose her voice for a week.”

JJ shook his head, then tucked his prize under his arm so he could use his hands to sign. Revenge is never the best answer. 

“It’s what she deserves!” Marvin snarled. “She was making that difficult on purpose. I saw her, she was going much slower with the customers before us. JJ, I’m so absolutely sorry on her behalf, cause god knows she’s not gonna fucking apologize.”

It’s okay, JJ insisted. Believe it or not, I’ve faced worse, especially in my day. They were much less friendly back then.

“I am sure you are not using that word in the correct meaning,” Schneep mumbled.

Marvin shoved his hand into the pocket containing his wand. “One hex. Come on. Just one. I won’t even make her ears fall off or anything.”

Everyone refused to let Marvin curse the carnival worker, and he reluctantly relented. At this point, they’d finished with the games, and all that was left were the rides. They took turns, one or two of them sitting out to watch the accumulated prizes while the others spun and flew and then stumbled off the rides. After trying most of the rides out, they took a snack break for ice cream and cotton candy.

“I think the Ferris wheel is the only one left,” Jackie said. “Unless we want to catch that sideshow thing. There’s supposed to be magicians—”

“Fake,” Marvin interrupted.

“—clowns, animals, and they advertised a knife-thrower—”

Schneep nearly choked on his ice cream. “No.”

“Okay, got it. No show then.” Jackie nodded. “But I’m not too sure about the Ferris wheel. I know at least one of us is afraid of heights.”

“Yeah, uh, me.” Chase bit his lip. “But I think I’ll be fine if I don’t look over the edge. Unless someone else doesn’t want to go on it, then I’ll stay off with them.”

“I’m good,” Jackie said. “Schneep? Marv? Either of you scared of heights?” Both of them shook their heads. “Alright. JJ?”

JJ signed, A bit, but after all these dizzy rides, I’ll take something calm like the Ferris wheel, if you please.

“Alright. Guess we’re going on the wheel, then!”

Night had truly fallen by this point. The Ferris wheel wasn’t exceptionally tall, but it still rose above everything else in the fair, providing a fantastic view of the colored lights below. Instead of having the traditional two-person seats, this wheel had booths that could fit up to eight people, so all the boys fit into one just fine. The wheel turned, and the booth turned with it. Chase squirmed, resolutely not looking over the side. Jackie and Marvin did the exact opposite, practically leaning out of the booth to look down below.

JJ tapped Schneep, signing something real quick. Schneep nodded, then yelled “Can you two stop that?! You are going to fall out of the fucking side, and you are making Jamie nervous.”

“Oh, sorry.” Jackie sat back down.

“Aww,” Marvin groaned, but pulled back into his seat. “I hope you know I do this for you, JJ.”

JJ smiled. Thank you, it’s appreciated. And I’m sure your body feels the same way, having narrowly avoided a fall to great injury.

“Nah, I would’ve been fine.”

The wheel stopped. Their booth was right at the top. “Oh, fuck,” Chase muttered, covering his eyes with his hands.

“You know, you didn’t have to come,” Jackie said quietly. “We would’ve been alright letting you stay down on the ground.”

Chase peeked between his hands. “I know. But...it’s really nice up here. Quiet. And with just you guys. As long as I ignore the distance from the ground, I’m good. You’re my friends, you know, and you make everything better.”

“Oh, Chase,” Marvin gasped. “That’s...really sweet!”

“What? Didn’t think we where friends?”

“It’s...always nice to be reminded.” Marvin smiled softly.

Well then consider this your reminder, Marvin! JJ wiggled his mustache happily. I consider you all my friends, maybe even family. You are all wonderful people and I love having you in my life!

“Nooo, stop.” It was hard to see in the dark, only lit up by the lightbulbs on the Ferris wheel, but it was possible that Marvin was actually blushing.

“You know what? I love you guys.” Jackie grinned. “Not afraid to admit it! Best friends I’ve ever had.”

Schneep cleared his throat. “Yes, I feel the same. You are all great people, and I am fortunate to have met you. I...love you as well.”

“Aaaahck!” Marvin appeared to be trying to fold into himself. “Too much love! Fatality!”

Chase chuckled. “Marvin! Accept our love!”

We love you, Marvin! JJ signed eagerly. Now you have to say it back!

Marvin made a strange sort of groaning exhale before inhaling deeply, calming down. “Yeah...I—I love you guys too. God, I love you guys so much. You should all know that.”

“There we go!” Jackie said, triumphant. “Marvin, you are, truly, the emotionally constipated one. And I thought Schneep was the worst.”

“Excuse me?!” Schneep gasped. “I assure you I am very love-sharing. I just do not use words too much because they are complicated.”

“Understandable,” Chase shrugged. “I can barely speak half the time, and I was born in English.”

I thought you were born in Ireland, JJ signed, amused.

“Oh, you know what I mean!”

The Ferris wheel started lowering, stopping and starting as it let passengers off. The boys stepped out of the booth and onto land once again.

JJ yawned. I must say that I’m rather tired after all this. I think it’s time we go home.

“Yeah, I’m starting to feel it,” Jackie agreed.

“You all are weak!” Marvin countered. “I’m good for another couple hours.”

“Watch you crash immediately upon entering your room,” Chase laughed.

“Oh, shut up.”

“I think JJ is right,” Jackie said. “It’s time to go home.”

Schneep nodded. “Yes, I could stay up longer, but I have morning shift tomorrow so I should not push my luck. I will see you all later?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Course, dude!”

“Definitely.”

Count on it!

With that, they left the fair. Eventually they split up, each heading their own separate ways until they eventually got to wherever they were staying that night. Some went to sleep immediately, some stayed up a bit later, but eventually they all went to bed.

And when they decided to do it, none of them had trouble for once.

[deuce-duce]

Hydrate Hydrate Hydrate

Before I get going I ended my last post telling you why its so important to hydrate. which I do but after I started explaining I went off on a tangent that is obviously more important right now then me explaining myself and how I stay happy. Which is why it just kept flowing... enjoy.

Hydrate hydrate hydrate!! I say this because, essentially we are just a series of chemical reactions all occurring simultaneously while electricity courses through our veins. More specifically positively charged ions/elements (sodium, potassium and calcium). These elements are carried throughout your body by water making it possible for your synapses to fire and for you to function as a living organism. since electricity is naturally occurring throughout your being its important to have the proper amount of conducive substances present, like H20. (Like My Dad Would Tell Me Growing Up... LOOK IT UP!!) 

with a diverse amount of chemical reactions occurring thought-out our bodies it is essential that we provide our bodies with all the nutrients that we need. This is achieved by having a diverse diet, while feeding your gut what it needs to properly digest such a diet. (Your Gut Is Your Second Brain) Heterogeneity is  fundamental and essential in every healthy ecosystem which is what our bodies are. Malnutrition is the primary component limiting the elevation of our consciousness and Growth. So why is it more expensive to get something that is good for you opposed to something that provides no nutritional value. I'm sure you can figure that one out on your own...

Just as a diverse diet is essential to you, functioning optimally, this concept rings true for an optimally functioning society as well. Society=Ecosystem. This is where I will make two VERY important points. Remember when I mentioned that learning fundamental components and concepts in regards to life and really anything is very beneficial?? I said that because once your aware of the functionality of these concepts they lend themselves to many different subjects. For example, although the contexts are different, The Human Body, Nature & Society the fundamental components remain the same for optimal functioning.

This is where Point #two rears its beautiful head. In my last post I mentioned briefly how important your individuality is for you are an important necessary element to a healthy functioning ecosystem called Society!! SHHHH....!!!!! your not supposed to know this. For your individuality is one of many solitary elements needed to progress, grow and achieve better and better and better for everyone.

now although I have talked a lot about normalizing you feeling your emotions and it being ok for you to express them, I think today and always we need to start accepting and appreciating people’s differences. For too long we have sat and used one another's differences as a way to create boundaries and judgement separating us from each other. Would the body function without certain elements or nutrients.... Sure!!! but it usually is a crap day for the person inhabiting that body. so why do we do it in today’s society???? I think this isn't natural and has been implanted as a means to limit and control us... J.M.O.

A very similar instance was the finches on the Galapagos Islands. Do you think that the birds loved... the young birds that had deformities and didn't look like them...? probably not because they saw that it was easier for that bird/birds to eat and acquire their food then they could. while the deformed birds had no clue that anyone had it any harder then they did, they were just using what they had been given the best way they knew how. the un-deformed/un-evolved birds eventually died off making the new evolution a primary genetic trait, essentially saving and preserving the species altogether. Is this why common day society forces us to conform?? I think it is... its so that we cant evolve further making the prior evolutionary life-form obsolete. Essentially sentencing us to our doom because were not allowed to have free thought or expression. one of the main reasons I think Our World is in the State its in today.

Science is Such a Prominent belief structure for many, throughout Our World. Yet we ignore all of the important aspects and instead instill our own ways. What do I mean... You might ask??!! Here are a couple of examples 1 of which I have already shared considering Heterogeneity. The other goes deep into the animal kingdom itself. So in today’s society the man picks his mate or who he wants to be with based primarily off of looks and sex appeal. ”on”  beautiful or sexy... so on and so forth. Or its simply because they have to through necessity! should it be like this?? I don’t think so. For in the animal kingdom, and I get it not all species are the same but lets consider the majority. When looking at the majority its completely opposite from how society does things. In nature more often then not its the female that chooses the male. usually based off of genetic traits leadership and the ability to provide and protect. This is why the male always has more colors or attractive features such as manes or some other varying characteristic. Often times males will fight for one particular female, as it is the females mortal instinct to reproduce and she wants a strong partner with strong genetic make up to be passed on to their offspring. Hence only the strong shall survive. So if animals pre-exist humans... and still continue to exist today... only becoming extinct because of humans... do you think... maybe... we might have wrong...?? I mean Divorces are at an all time high!! most aren't happy and women are falling in love with a fake presentation of a man simply because the man wants to get her into bed... Down the road when the man’s true colors come out, the woman has no idea how she could have been so blind... and has no idea how to get herself out... for 1 she loves them and 2... she just doesn't know what to do...it shouldn't be this way.

not saying everyone has to change tomorrow... just saying when it comes to things as delicate as relationships... there shouldn't be societal norms or certain ways to do things we should be able to do things the way that work best for us... for these relationships are going to be the breeding ground of our future... J.S.

another example of this is Government Bail Outs... Instead of the company going belly up because they weren't prepared for an upset or there business model become obsolete. they get government handouts to keep things the way they are because those companies are powerful and removing them could harm the economy even more. But in reality the economy always bounces back and if a company fails then they fail!! We shouldn't be rewarding failure for it only breeds more failure...  I'm probably wrong though... if these compaines weren't bailed out then another business would fill the void and more times then not its probably going to be a better more successful business then its predecessor increasing Chang and Advancement. Isn't This The American DREAM?? What do I Know!!

My last little thought for the day which is something I cant stop thinking about and is the reason I want to share... Is I think God is our mother... for who else would be so... forgiving and understanding and essentially be consider to be LOVE itself... A Mother. IF God is our mother then wouldn't Earth be our Father?? Providing all of the needs for all who inhibit its atmosphere... for some reason we led to believe that God is the Father...  I have my own theory why this is... but doesn't it make more sense the other way around??

Sun’s Shining!! Enjoy the Day Every ONE!!

LOVE & PEACE

[mimir-writes]

From a Stranger

To Ava,

To avoid any confusion I promise I will not lie to you, but seeing how you don’t know anything from my side of the story, I don’t doubt you will deny much of what I say. Ill begin with a few indisputable facts: The day you should receive this letter is your 18th birthday, you were born to Tamara Hutchinson, and you have never met your real father. You were raised by a man you call “Gary”- not “Dad” and from what I gather he has been an effective paternal figure for the duration of your adolescence. He is married to your mother and loves you as his own, and you’ve never sought to find out who your biological father is. This is where I come in. Since you are now legally an adult no standing court order can prevent any contact between us. I am truly sorry if this has changed any minute aspect of your life. But now you can decide if you want to meet me, but first I should give you a fair warning. My relationship with your mother was by no means insignificant. The end result was of course you, but that had unforeseen consequences. I accepted the role of bread winner for our short lived family and on paper filled that role to perfection. This had natural drawbacks as well, I was never around and before too long I lost touch with Tamara and found it again through liquid confidence. Time slipped through my fingers as I desperately tried to grasp it. NO, NO, NO. I should never defend what I did to you, only explain unbiased and hope I can do penance for my sin. Explain was the wrong word there, but its the best one I can think of. After I realized what I had done, I agreed with your mother and decided her course of action was the best one for you. That is to say, a total cut off from each other. No visits. No memories. No nothing. Nothing that could ever remind you of me. Yet I fear that the damage I have done cant be healed completely by time. What access I have to you medical history is spotty at best and I feel like a monster to just look at what I have. But from what I see, you remember the pain I left you with. I could never ask you to forgive me, but please use what I give you. I haven’t been idly waiting for today, no, I have been amassing a fairly largely fortune. One that will grow no matter how hard the wind blows or badly the world shifts. I will give it to you, no questions asked. You could donate it all, take it and live a life of endless party on a sunny beach, or just burn it. I would be thrilled to see you do what you want with it. I only ask that what ever you do, do what you want. Please don’t sink yourself into hatred or retribution against everyone who has ever wronged you. I hope you can understand that I’m pleading to you as someone who cares about you, as someone who dreams the world of you. I am not a good man. I don’t claim to be, never have never will. I don’t claim to be many things. Having to leave you was the right thing to do, I would have hurt you again. I don’t know if I have changed my ways, I think I have. Part of me says I’m wrong, another says I’m right, but the loudest one says I should never find out. My destiny is not in my hands anymore, its in yours. As is yours now, forever. You have the keys to a proper kingdom, one that will not perish in your lifetime. What will you do with it? Be known as a kind, forgiving person with a spot at the dinner table for everyone? Or will you be known as no one, just a face in the crowd? A wild, and unpredictable saint with no moral compass? I now realize I’ve strayed from the purpose of this letter. My intent was the convince you to meet me, but now I feel like I’ve pushed you away with my insane ramblings of the future. If you wish to discuss any of these points or even just want to see my face, I’ve included my business card with home address written on the back. I plan to be home for all of the next 3 weeks. If I don’t see or hear from you during that time, I will move on and you will never know of my existence again. But I urge you to consider meeting me, I’ve been told that I am a very interesting man.

[isaacathom]

technically the logical extension o Rhia’s arc is for her to actually become the Champion in between the ‘first’ game and the ‘second’ but i also feel like that only makes sense if she took the e4 job willingly. which she ONLY does if you reconcile her and Elliot. if they dont reconcile, she takes the job out of a sense of duty, not because she explicitly wants it. she DOES, like she does want the job, because even if she hates authority on some level she still really wants to be a powerful trainer and protect people. but she didnt go into it with the right mindset. but if Rhia and Elliot sort out their problems, Rhia is able to deal with her issues with authority and take the e4 job with glee. she revels in it! she loves it! its the culmination of her childhood dreams! and this would allow her to become the champion in future, should Gwendolen allow it (bearing in mind Gwen is a fucking beast). but if Rhia still has that slight block, if she and Elliot didnt really deal with their problems ‘correctly’ (constructively?) then Rhia wouldnt have the drive. so even if Gwendolen said ‘hey Rhia you’re really strong. would you consider trying to become the Champion?’ she’d probably say no! even though, in her heart, she really wants to. but being unable to deal with Elliot properly is a block on that, for her.

its like. the thing with the split ending is that, even though Rhia becomes the e4 member no matter WHAT route you put her down (due to postgame content), Rhia doesn’t get to feel correctly about Elliot. with Reconcile, your actions prove to her that Elliot has changed, and she opens up to the possibility of sorting out their problems, which ultimately allows both of them to grow. not to move past, because Rhia’s life has been intimately shaped by his actions, but to grow with it instead of remaining stunted. but Split, your actions prove he HASNT changed, so she is closed to the idea. so when Elliot basically forces her to consider that he’s changed (by intervening in the confrontation with Felicity and nearly getting himself actually killed like straight up human murdered) its not right. she still ends up acknowledging that he has changed, but the context for that revelation changes EVERYTHING for her. because in reconcile, its mutal. in split, its one sided, and its elliots side, forcing what he wants onto her AGAIN. and even if Rhia doesn’t consciously acknowledge this (if she did she’d probably fucking shatter so its for the best), she’s aware of this dissonance on some level and it continues to hold her back.

the only way to properly reconcile these differences (in routes, not elliot/rhia, fuck) is for that hypothetical second game to recognise those choices you made, and change the formation of the whole elite 4 around it. like, in the ‘first’ game, the only change that is made is whether Elliot is in the e4 at all. Rhia will be in the e4 by the end regardless, but Elliot can be there for a while (at least once - you can take on the league during te postgame story though thats a weird choice for you to make as a player but i mean fuck it power to the player?). but in the second game, as an extension OF that choice, it changes whether Rhia is just an e4 member or if shes the champion, WHICH then extends to affecting Gwendolen, who would now just be a regular elite. and that seems like a lot of effort to make? though it would be kind of fun. the ‘default’ would be Rhia Champion because i make the rules.

though if i was going to allow the E/R routes to have that much of a consequence, then id have to make the same allowance for Sam, since the asumption is if you ended up with team!Sam (who then disappears after the tower because /they got arrested/) they would return in the second game as a Villain. or could they be reformed? thats the issue. once Sam is arrested i imagined that the player would get one last chance to talk to them, maybe apologise or wish them good luck, or say shit like ‘good riddance’ or laugh. and if thats the case, would THAT dialogue feed in? would a Sam who received an apology act the same as a Sam who did not? i dont think so! id hope that the apology would help Sam be a better person, while an insult would make Sam more bitter and more likely to commit more crimes in their future! so THAT alone is like, a SPLIT in the route, meaning theres actually 4 permutations of Sam. apology!sam, insult!sam, neutral!sam, and friend!sam. which is a shit to fuck. my god. thats so much. admittedly neutral!sam does fuck all, but friend!sam would have a place, absolutely. they’d be working with Mattie and Rhia and all the other org loyalists to continue running the region but properly this time. insult!sam is off being a big part of whatever new villain appears. and apooology!sam issss..... maybe double crossing? their past as a Team member allows them power in the new villains group but theyre good intentions allow them to work with the ‘new org’ and they can double agent. which would lead to some significant differences. then theres Zeke, who i STILL havent figured out what the fuck is doing. and THEN theres the other characters who would exist in that game who would have their own routes. itd be a clusterfuck, is my point.

idek what this is useful for. psychoanalysing Rhia? about right. if she doesnt get closure the way she wants it - with mutual understanding - then she never truly grows. on the surface she may end up in a similar place, doing similar things, but its where she goes from there. with closure, shes free to move forward onto other things, other problems. it will always be there, but it can be managed. if the closure doesnt come or it comes wrong, it will be harder to manage and she cant move past it as much. yay! she can only unlock her potential if she closes that door to that which holds her back and confronts it. and while forcing her to confront it is ONE way to do that, allowing her to make that choice to close it herself at her own speed is more meaningful to me and lets her feel satisfied with the outcome.

in the hypothetical far future, a split!Rhia, even though she has technically reconciled with Elliot, will probably never truly come to terms with it until he dies. and he will, probably 10-20 years after the end of the postgame. thats when a split!Rhia will open herself proper, but its too little, too late. the ability to have proper closure is lost and im fucking projecting arent i. god fucking dammit. im projecting. nooopppeee zip that shit we arent do that again.

idk maybe if i got closure id be able to give Rhia the closure she deserves but i imagine she’d end up in the same boat as me, where she’s never able to properly close the door on that chapter of her life and it hangs open at all times, flapping in the wind. she can never truly right it off. and maybe if he’s not there she’ll be free on some level, and able to move forward in a different way, but it definitely isnt the same, and its not the ending she wants. Rhia wants to confront Elliot and have him be genuine with her and explain himself, and for him to accept what he’s done. if he dies before she thinks he’s done that (or before SHE has properly explained herself in a way that feels satisfying) then its a failure.

this is just some fuck shit.