#you make sean laugh so much and make me super happy so if thats all we “get” to be then ill be fine! but right now? damn im confused ahah

[tdotsspot]

IT’S A NEW YEAR B*TCHES

I seriously don’t think I’ve EVER been this damn happy to start a new year. Actually, I haven’t. I’ve NEVER been this happy to close a year out. To reflect on everything that happened, and while 2017 wasn’t like, THE most horrible year of my life personally or even really that much but, it was a CRAZY year all around. 

I’m sure I’ll forget a lot but just off the top of my head:

Trumps bitch ass. I’m still here like, maybe that was a dream, right? Everything that’s come with Trump. The lies, the embarrassment of this country, this ridiculous ass tax break that crushes the middle class, and happy makes the extra extra rich, even richer. There’s literally at least 10 breaking news stories everyday with his ass, so just watch CNN and figure out how fucking stupid he’s making America. However, a plus would be that it’s the most informed in politics I’ve ever been in my entire life, and it’s brought me out to vote other than the presidential 

The inexplicable amount of racism, sexism, hatred. Club Pulse.....so sad. The airport shooting, wtf. Some of that footage still freaks me out. Can you even imagine???? Going out for a fun night with your friends. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GONE PARTYING WITH YOUR FRIENDS without a SINGLE worry other than a hangover. And your lovers, friends, family......dead. Traveling. Jesus. Dame and I travel all the time. I can’t even imagine trying to find my luggage and seeing people falling beside me over some bullshit. It’s heartbreaking. Freakin Vegas, damn I almost forgot about that. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW THE HELL DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN. I’ve personally been to Vegas three four times. I’ve passed that area many times and like....wtf. 

And of course.....there’s the probably 74 life lessons I learned in 2017. Here are some of my favorites!!!!

*Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t. AKA you cannot please everyone, you really can’t. Even the people you WANT to please, you can only partially please. So basically, do what you feel is best.

ALSO I NEED TO FOLLOW UP ON MY ONE DAMN NEW YEAR FOCUS, DISCIPLINE. I started this post on the 30th, its the 4th lmao. 

But i just got off the phone with my friend and just talked to my HUSBAND, since you know, I got married this year and it was super fuckin fly. And said FUCK ALL THIS PRETTY SEAN CARTER SHIT NIGGA HOV.

Listen to me when i say “bam” literally LITERALLY speaks to my soul. ‘just set your price and live your life my nigga!’ for real. RESPECT YOURSELF. I realized how I’m now learning I’ve played myself for pennies before. How I’ve let people take advantage bc I’m not a total bitch. But I’ve also realized being a female in my work work, hell is ANY work world, if you don’t HOLD YOUR OWN people will try you. 

NOT THIS YEAR MY FRIENDS. Idgaf WHO you are to me, I'm not with the shits. If that means I lose some ‘friends’ I’m actually totally ok with that. I’ve also realized shit, I barely like anyone anyways, so let me tighten my circle, or really, tighten how I spend my time. I have people in my life for 100 different reasons, and I never want to actually burn bridges, but at the same time.....if youre not on the same wave as I....well carry on.

I don’t want to hear about your excuses as to why your life sucks, why your sig other sucks, why your job sucks....if your not bothering to REALLY do shit. (as I stop my edits to finish this post) but thats ok.

Oh yeah, back to what I learned.

I learned also that I get WAY too friendly and trusting with people before getting to know them. WAY too damn trusting. And that’s my fault. No one really gives a damn about you, even those who say they do. I mean, they MIGHT but at the end of the day, it’s YOUR life, and when you think about that.......

I learned that weddings are stressful AF and even though the end result was BOMB, i still think I would’ve been ok eloping in vegas and having a wild story to share. Nonetheless, what I really learned during that process, is who actually has your back. Who’s phony, who’s fake. People I was cool AF with FUCKED me over, people I had really low expectations surprised me. 

I learned that a fake christmas tree is actually winning. 

I also learned that I really want to move out of Philly. PHILLY you’re doing WAY too much these last 2-4 years and its really pissing me off now. Also, that this city is RUDE AF for no damn reason and mean and petty.com.

I learned I have to do better at letting go, and part of that is not taking the responsibility of other peoples BULL SHIT. When you know that someone is just on their BS and throw some shit towards you, no matter HOW fucking corny, let it go like frozen. Half the time people can’t deal with their own truths, and they’d rather just make someone else miserable. Know your audience, and big them farewell if need be.

I’ve also learned that people are jealous of me. And it really makes me laugh. People swear my life is easy breezy cover girl because I work from home and for myself. ummmmm so the fk what???? lol I swear people think I sit on my ass all day “oh IM sorry I have work today” “ummm ok? so do i bih” But I’ve really REALLY realized that people just don't get it. It makes me laugh. And just FYI just because I have control over my time, doesn’t mean I have free time. I allocate it as I see fit, because I fucking can. Because I took a crazy leap of faith and said fuck working and being dead inside. And because I believe in myself and luckily the two people I love the most believe in me too.

I learned that OH ha. I learned when traveling to a third world country........research more. I’ll just leave it there. Cuba was still dope but like.....wow. I still don’t look at certain chicken meals without wanting to throw up.

Idk mannn, just set your price and live your life.

Don’t deal with the shits this year.

Tdot, out.  

[eljokerbabey]

Do all of them.

fuck you nick fine

200: My crush’s name is: haha she follows me so no199: I was born in: California 198: I am really: hella dope197: My cellphone company is: sprint, what the fuck kinda question196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: like 9194: My ring size is: I’m not sure193: My height is: 5′8192: I am allergic to: Absolutely Nothing191: My 1st car was: haha i can’t drive190: My 1st job was: Working for my dad I guess189: Last book you read: Interview With The Vampire188: My bed is: A mess187: My pet: 4 cats named Delilah, L.E., Perro, and Mallory186: My best friend: Michael Gregorio Trainstation, i think his name was, its been a while, he moved to idaho like 30 years ago185: My favorite shampoo is: that one from my childhood that looks like a fish184: Xbox or ps3: ecks bawks183: Piggy banks are: a metaphor for greed? I dunno, they’re neat182: In my pockets: nothin at the moment 181: On my calendar: many photos of my friend brenton180: Marriage is: something that requires a lot of thought179: Spongebob can: and will find you178: My mom: is the best177: The last three songs I bought were?176: Last YouTube video watched: probably a podcast175: How many cousins do you have?: at least 12? probably more, I have 9 uncles on my dads side alone, and most of them have kids, so174: Do you have any siblings? older brother, younger sister173: Are your parents divorced? nah 172: Are you taller than your mom? yes171: Do you play an instrument? I play a pretty sub par piano170: What did you do yesterday? kicked the shit out of my friends at party games[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: logically no, but 168: Luck: Yeah pretty much167: Fate: Sort of166: Yourself: ye165: Aliens: yep164: Heaven: I like to163: Hell: nope, well, not exactly162: God: in some form or another161: Horoscopes: nah 160: Soul mates: I like the idea159: Ghosts: Sure158: Gay Marriage: Hell yeah157: War: no bueno, unless its like, against some super actual evil I guess156: Orbs: I don’t know what this means, the shape? yes?155: Magic: sure[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: both? i can’t decide153: Drunk or High: Drunk152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Redheads150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: day144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges143: Curly or Straight hair:142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I dunno138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor, the fuck kinda question137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi, but only because cherry pepsi exists136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: I like to ignore my mortality mostly134: Singing or Dancing: as a thing for me to do; Singing, but I like watching other people dance 133: Coach or Chanel: I don’t uh, I don’t care132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who131: Small town or Big city: Small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: kmart, fuck you129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: fuck if i know127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers, sure124: Disney or Six Flags: I’m told that my answer should be disney, but i’ve never been to either123: Yankees or Red Sox: sport sport sport sport[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Its bad121: George Bush: would make a pretty fun neighbor120: Gay Marriage: its good119: The presidential election: a trainwreck118: Abortion: none of my business117: MySpace: rip116: Reality TV: i used to be all about it115: Parents: pretty much the coolest114: Back stabbers: not good113: Ebay: an important step towards the existence of amazon112: Facebook: damn millenials 111: Work: another day another dollar, sir110: My Neighbors: santaman is pretty cool109: Gas Prices: haha i don’t drive108: Designer Clothes: hella107: College: expensive106: Sports: sport sport sport sport105: My family: pretty okay, there are lots104: The future: we’ll see what happens[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: yesterday probably102: Last time you ate: yesterday101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: saturday, I saw caylen, hadn’t seen him for a couple weeks100: Cried in front of someone: midway last year I think, I had a weird unexplained pretty bad panic attack out of nowhere99: Went to a movie theater: a few days ago, I saw Your Name, it was good98: Took a vacation:  months ago probably97: Swam in a pool: I don’t remember96: Changed a diaper: Probably never95: Got my nails done: Never?94: Went to a wedding: I think my best friends was the last one I went to, it was august 2016 I guess?93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Never91: Broke the law: Couple weeks ago maybe?90: Texted: last night[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: too difficult everyone I know is hilarious88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my family87: The last movie I saw: Your Name, it was really good86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: leaving town for a bit, in the near future, to my friends in redding for a bit, in the later future, to fort bragg to camp 85: The thing im not looking forward to: potentially running into a specific person who I think hates me now 84: People call me: a pretty funny guy83: The most difficult thing to do is: let go of people82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: no81: My zodiac sign is: taurus80: The first person i talked to today was: Enrique79: First time you had a crush: Like first grade78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Michael Gorgon Trombone, i think his name was, my best friend, he moved to idaho like a hundred years ago77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Probably the other day76: Right now I am talking to: nobody75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I guess I want to go to school for psychology74: I have/will get a job: at some point73: Tomorrow: never dies72: Today: gonna hang out with a couple of chuckleheads i guess71: Next Summer: Who knows70: Next Weekend: I’ll have just gotten back into town and will probably go to a friends house to play boardgames69: I have these pets: cats, dogs68: The worst sound in the world: nail filing67: The person that makes me cry the most is: I dunno, I haven’t really cried in a while66: People that make you happy: all my friends and most of my family65: Last time I cried: like last year64: My friends are: interesting and cool63: My computer is: okay62: My School: will not be that bad61: My Car: haha i don’t drive60: I lose all respect for people who: hurt others59: The movie I cried at was: I don’t remember the last time I cried at a movie58: Your hair color is: Black, naturally, but I dyed it a different color for a while, which required bleaching, so its sorta fading into a weird light color now57: TV shows you watch: lots, i’ve been really into my hero academia lately56: Favorite web site: all websites are bad55: Your dream vacation: like a cabin somewhere in the mountains54: The worst pain I was ever in was: probably when my appendix burst53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare52: My room is: not utilized properly, its big, but its too messy and cluttered, gotta fix that at some point 51: My favorite celebrity is: i dunno, NPH or something 50: Where would you like to be: somewhere norther with someone I care about49: Do you want children: I’m neutral48: Ever been in love: yeah lots47: Who’s your best friend: michaelangelo Gardengnome Teatime, he moved to idaho an indeterminate amount of time ago46: More guy friends or girl friends: I have more guy friends than girl friends, if thats what this is asking45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when people tell me what my positive traits are, or mention that they thought of me, I guess44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Probably Mike Gatorade Turbulence, I always want to hang with that fool43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really, more like a general idea42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: loosely41: Have you pre-named your children: I’ve thought of it, but like Idk if I’ll have kids40: Last person I got mad at: myself probably39: I would like to move to: somewhere north, washington or oregon maybe, on a large property thats mostly wilderness that I own, haha38: I wish I was a professional: entertainer, probably[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: recess cups I guess36: Vehicle: I think motorcycles are cool35: President: Teddy Roosevelt I guess34: State visited: I’ve only really visited Idaho so I guess it wins by default33: Cellphone provider: If I say anything other than sprint they’ll make me disappear32: Athlete: Usain Bolt is pretty cool31: Actor: I like Michael Fassbender lately, RDJ is also cool, this is a hard question30: Actress: this is a harder question I’ll just say betty white  29: Singer: probably Damien Verrett of The Speed of Sound in Seawater/So Much Light, or Sean Bonnette of AJJ28: Band: AJJ27: Clothing store: do thrift stores count26: Grocery store: i dunno i guess the one up the street25: TV show: Over The Garden Wall maybe24: Movie: I dunno, uh, I like Kung Fu Hustle a lot23: Website: the internet was a mistake22: Animal: cats, or crows21: Theme park: I don’t uh, I haven’t20: Holiday: Christmas or Halloween 19: Sport to watch: combat juggling18: Sport to play: does catch count17: Magazine: I dunno, national geographic or something16: Book: there’s too many I can’t answer this15: Day of the week: saturday I guess14: Beach: Caspar13: Concert attended: Golden Youth I think, is one that I went to, with my friend? its the only one I really remember, I don’t go to concerts really, I went to an Earth Wind and Fire concert as a little kid too I guess12: Thing to cook: Top Ramen is the height of my abilities11: Food: I dunno, pizza or something, whatever’s hip with the kids, no wait, sushi10: Restaurant: Ikkyu9: Radio station: whatever it is my mom listens to, classic rock?8: Yankee candle scent: I don’t know candle scent names so I’ll just come up with one; “Civilian Casualties”7: Perfume: uh, I don’t know perfume names so I’ll just come up with one “I never heard from her again”6: Flower: Uh, I like most of them5: Color: Blue, also I really like, oranges/reds in nature, like leaves, and hair, and stuff like that4: Talk show host: Eric Andre, but if we mean like actual talk shows, then Conan I guess3: Comedian: Dave Chappelle 2: Dog breed: I like many, maybe german shepards or border collies I dunno1: Did you answer all these truthfully? More or lessfuck you nick this took like 2 hours