#you must tag this a kin/me or i will break into your house and steal all of your small glass ornaments

[edenleicester]

ok ye, ill start on my actual work now

[drlauralwalsh]

The Lusty World of Lesbian Widows

I’m really frustrated that COVID has gotten in the way of my grief achievements.  I figured 3 months in, I’d be doing the television talk show circuit, sold my book, and set up a non-profit foundation.  If only this pandemic hadn’t gotten in my way.

In my life before, if I spent too much time alone (like, over 4 hours), I’d start texting my sister-in-law that I was unsupervised and feral.  Uh oh.  I’d start going down rabbit holes and come up with weird stuff like how buff male kangaroos get.  Or questioning if my parents were really married since I couldn’t find a record of their union in the limited online databases. I could have paid for real records but I’m cheap.  I know, sounds crazy.  

But now, I’m alone for long stretches of time.  I’ve managed to channel some of this agitated energy into writing essays that speak to weirdos like me (shout out to my fellow weirdos!).  I spend hours researching (me-searching as we said in grad school) and discovering overachieving methods to dam the waters of my new spouse-less life.

I’m not just your average widow.  Oh no no no.  Of course, I have to be special so allow me to tack on some extra layers - lesbian, stepmom, and young (-ish, right?).  At 45, I have finally found a way to inch back towards the youth and relevance lost as you enter the fourth decade of life.  Today, I’d like to let you into the wonders of lesbianism.

I’m going to assume you’re not submerged in this subculture so I’ll tell you some secrets.  People are fascinated by lesbians.  To be fair, we live pretty mysterious lives.  We leave you hanging on profound questions like who takes out the trash and how do they have sex without a woody woodpecker? Sometimes, other communities get lumped in with us but they are actually quite different.  Of these witches, spinsters, and women who wear comfortable shoes, I only belong to only one of those so far.  I’m working on my stovetop skills and hope to someday conjure a penis.  Not a real one; that would be weird.

Amazon’s book market best represents the variable interests of our fan club members.  Right after my wife died, I launched a search for books on “lesbian widows.”  You’d think the algorithms would have pegged me by now (ha ha).  I was dismayed yet amused by the grand interpretation of what Amazon thought I meant.  The following is an unedited list of the top books recommended for me to purchase under these auspicious terms:

Lesbian Widows: Invisible Grief

by Victoria Whipple (Kindle $25.98, Paperback $46.95, Hardcover $907.71)

I’m impressed that the first one actually included my search terms but dang, it’s expensive to be a lesbian widow.  To be fair, you can rent it for $9.21 a month.  It’s also terribly niche within an already  small niche - invisible lesbian widows?  Published in 2014, you’d think it would be a little more hip.  Maybe it’s because I live in Chicago but even as an introvert, I’m decently visible.  Still, glad it exists and appeals to all eight people who each gave it a 5-star rating.

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows: Feminine Pursuits

by Olivia Waite (Kindle $3.99, Paperback $6.99)

I must quote the basic plot description for you to get the full impact of this novel: “The last thing the widow wants is to be the victim of a thousand bees. But when a beautiful beekeeper arrives to take care of the pests, Agatha may be in danger of being stung by something far more dangerous…”  The cover depicts said wapish widow sit/leaning against her handsome, pants suit-clad beekeeper.  At the much less expensive price for kindle and paperback, I’m only slightly put off by labeling bees as pests.

Odd women?: Spinsters, lesbians and widows in British women's fiction, 1850s–1930s

by Emma Liggins (Kindle $73.24, Hardcover $95.00)

The period is a little off but at least it includes diverse, international women.  I was looking for a self help book but this seems slightly more academic.  Not sure why there’s a question mark in the title as there’s no question about our oddity.  The description reads, “Women outside heterosexual marriage in this period were seen as abnormal, superfluous, incomplete and threatening, yet were also hailed as ‘women of the future’.”  Aw shucks, I *am* ahead of my time.  Dang that price tag!  No renting option for this one.

The Grass Widow

by Nanci Little (Kindle $0.00, Paperback $14.95)

It’s unclear where we’ll find the lesbian widow in this 2010 novel but the description yields some mild foreshadowing: “As a familiar civilization fades into the distance, she is nineteen, unmarried and pregnant, and has no reason to think that the year 1876 won't be her last...Joss, in her brother's clothes and severely lacking in social graces, has no time to mollycoddle a pampered, pregnant New England lady. It's work or starve, literally. There are no servants, no laborers - just a failing farm, impending winter and the two of them to face it together.”  It sounds like the shameless Joss needs her own dose of mollycoddling (wink, wink) to get through the chilly nights.

Her Widow

by Joan Alden (Paperback $18.00)

More popular with 10 people giving it an almost stellar rating, this tomb’s immodest summary insists it belongs on every bookshelf.  YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO US!  That’s how I read it.  Seriously, of all the books this one comes the closest to what I actually wanted.  Waiting for the kindle unlimited edition….(having no man money makes us frugal).

Made For You 3

by K. Shantel (Kindle $4.99)

Apparently, Made For You 1 and 2 were not as popular. Despite the fair price, this tale omits widows opting for the groundbreaking combination of lesbian romance and football.  While tragedy surely threads through this plot, it falls short of crossing the threshold from football to death (it probably does).  Shocker, I defy the sporty lesbian trope and instead prefer to spend time among my vast, treasured collection of power tools.  Just to be clear, I mean the ones for home repair (get your mind out of the gutter!)  If the lady protagonists of this book had been thrown together building a Habitat for Humanity house with their 10 dogs using only their Subaru to transport lumber, I might be more captivated.

The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics, Book 1 of 1: Feminine Pursuits Series

by Olivia Waite (Kindle $3.99, Paperback $6.99)

I’ll give the author the benefit of believing there are more to come in the series. The title of this one intrigues me (I may steal it later) but sadly, it also defaults to worn stereotypes.  This collection of lesbian tropes finds my kin scoring yet another toaster for the conversion of a hapless straight lady.  Lesbians for the win!  Lady Reads-A-Lot gave it 5 stars and commented, “This was poetic and lovely, full of beautiful descriptions that knew exactly how to leave you breathless and then stop just before tipping into tedious.”  I’m guessing she means the sex scenes?  If you’ve ever watched any real lesbian porn, you know that it’s far better for the participants than the viewers.

Erotica: The Forbidden Adventures Of A Grieving Widow (Seduction, Lust, Lesbian Sex, Interracial Sex, Bondage and More)

by Amy King (Kindle $0.00)

This one is hands down, my favorite title and you can’t beat the price.  The author keeps the marketing short to sell you her novel: “All Ava wanted was to erase the memory of her recently departed husband. Little did she know that in trying to do so, she would experience mind-blowing adventures and lust across the globe. Ava would never be the same again as she ravenously eats up whatever adventure blows her way.”  Even though it’s another toaster novel, as a grieving widow ‘ravenously eats up’ does resonate.  I don’t think she means jars of cookie butter.

Of the eight masterpieces on the list, five are romance novels, one is academic, and two are in the ballpark (excuse the sports metaphor).  Scrolling further only yields more erotica including another novel titled, “Football Widows (lesbian)” by Amanda Mann and Deadlier Than the Male Publications.  Now I get it that we make up a small percentage of the population but this is some seriously messed up shit.  

Removing the lesbian and searching only for ‘widow’ yields twenty pages of books. I know what you’re thinking - “C’mon Laura, what’s the big deal?  Just get the standard widow book.”  And believe me, I’ve amassed quite the collection and am waiting for just the right intersection of not too devastated but ready to sob.  Bear with me for a sec - think about how we just want to be seen when we’re at our lowest.  When I first typed those words into the search bar, I just wanted something that used wife instead of husband.  

Every grief has specific salient elements and it’s too super niche to touch on all at the same time.  It would be weird and/or maybe nice to find another lesbian widow stepmom psychologist who lost her cop wife of almost 5 years to a PTSD-induced psychotic break and suicide.  That’s a Subaru full of identities.  If this person did exist, I’d be suspicious we’re the target on Incel trolls, longing to read the words of more seductive, witchy lesbians.  Instead, I plan on taking the high road.  I’ll get my knowledge and support from those who accept me by the category.  Obviously, one out of one lezzies agree there’s a market for lesbian widow self help guides - at the right price.  I may still write that book but if I want to get rich, I’ll definitely have to add more sex scenes.

[blankdblank]

Fin Pt 2

Pt 1

Tag –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology,   @evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @abiwim

…

Shouts filled the Kingdom of Erebor as words spread that the four Durins were missing. All others were accounted for but still King Thror continued his shouts over the peas of his Grandson Fenrir and Granddaughter Dis who cried out, “It will find them!”

Thror turned with a fiery glare, “It’s Kin know nothing but destruction!”

Dis, “It was a child when we met, and would not grow like them!”

Fenrir, “All the fish spread word it heals their kin after storms.”

Thror, “IT is not our Kin!”

Dis, “GRANDFATHER!” His path turning away from her stopped at her pained and broken cry causing him to turn back eyeing the tears welling in her eyes while her voice dropped to a broken whisper, “My Sons. I trust It with MY Sons. Please. Send out the gulls. Just trust, just this one.”

Sighing weakly his weary eyes lowered to the ground hearing faint echoes of the words he knew his Wife would say were she still here at his side. Taking a moment, feeling his aching shoulders droop trying to relax the tense muscles for the first time since their disappearance before meeting her gaze again. Raising his hand he held out a finger saying, “One gull. I pray to Mahal you’re right.” Giving his descendants one last glance before turning to check on the last of the injured guards as Dis and Fenrir swam as fast as they could to the gull tower on the highest peaks of their lands. Stopping only when they spotted the most faithful of their messengers bearing their crest on a necklace.

With a single glance Roac flew to the rocky ridge around their small island hopping closer to the pair listening to their plea and promptly flew off knowing just where to find you, assuring them you would surely keep them safe. Leaving the pair to silently send their own prayers to Mahal as they returned wordlessly to their Kingdom.

…

Halfway through your tugging the last of the broken branches and debris free from the various pools you rose with a stumble and a shriek at the gull nearly colliding with your face. Catching yourself before you fell you cleared your throat eyeing the strange bird circling you only to head to the nearest pool as four eery whistles broke out from the Durins. Landing beside the pool the four smiled receiving the message from the tired gull who happily turned for a short flight to land on your shoulder as Thorin said, “Our Kin’s messenger. Could we feed him and allow him rest before he returns?”

You nodded with a faint smile giving the bird another glance as he picked a piece of kelp from your hair and ate it. Exhaling you returned inside as Roac watched the Durins following popping up through the random pools along the way. With a soft groan you relaxed back on your couch as the five ate while you eased your bandages from your feet revealing the healed cuts but lingering bruises. Resting your feet on the foot rest you turned your attention back to the screen before you feeling your eyes slowly droop shut as the otters and Roac gathered around you for naps of their own. Resting his arms on the edge of the pool watching the classical romance on the screen taking in each of the details as his Nephews propped up on his sides while Fili asked, “Is this how they learn about courting?”

Dwalin, “No system to it at all…”

Kili patted his Uncle’s back with a soft chuckle, “At least it seems simple enough, she’s already picked you so, just the details now.”

Thorin sighed softly flicking his still sore fin feeling the new tear still healing from its hidden bruise, “I’m not certain she knows she picked me. She heals all creatures not just us.”

Dwalin chuckled smirking at his Cousin, “Yes, but we’re not otters or turtles Thorin.”

Smirking back Thorin rolled his eyes then looked at you again with another sigh as your body curled around the otters as you started to softly hum in your sleep, “Grandfather’s never going to let us see her again when the cove is cleared.”

With a shared deflating exhale they all rested their arms along the ledge and their chins over them. Snuggly at your side Roac rested for as long as he allowed himself before rising and snatching a stray hair from your head nearly drawing a growl from Thorin at the thievery before he flew away with their message.

…

Back on his island Roac landed tapping his foot on the crystal column poking out of the rocks that glowed sending a pulse drawing the same two Durins racing back up to retrieve the message. With relieved smiles they accepted the message along with the hair now pulsing brightly in Dis’ fingers through the swim back the glow grew brighter in a steady pulse as she handed it over to the stunned King.

Eyeing the strangely glowing hair a full sense of your powers causing his lips to part as the circle of crystals surrounding their precious Arkenstone he’d curled the hair around formed an image of you pulsing brightly as echoes of your nightly humming echoed around the crowded Throne Room. Thror’s lips parted as he said, “Send word to Thranduil, she’s an Elf.”

Moving closer Fenrir asked, “There are land Elves?”

Thror, “Only those descended from those who chose to remain on land. Their Kingdoms are mainly destroyed now. She must be one of the last.”

Thrain, “You trust her then?”

Thror, “There is an ache in her, an unknown ache for the sea. She would never harm them, not with this light or that song.”

.

Within an hour the long broad Elf King swam in with his son and redheaded guard behind him, stopping a few feet from King Thror King Thranduil’s head bowed as his long golden and white billowing fin coated tail rested around him. As King Thror’s deep blue tail matching Prince Thrain’s at his side while Fenrir and Dis claimed his other side.

Thranduil straightened up feeling his white hair settle across is bare back as he said, “My Kin and I have heard word of your Princes’ disappearance, is there any word of them at all?”

Thror nodded his head, “That’s why I sent word for this meeting. Remember the creature they encountered as children?”

Thranduil nodded, “The land creature.”

Thror motioned his hand welcoming Thranduil forward to join him around the crystals and Arkenstone, “She found in the storm and is healing them, granting them shelter. The cove is blocked off but workers will arrive soon to clear it and then they can return.”

Thranduil eyed the pulsing hair as once again your humming rang out causing the Elven group to glow at the common lullaby for protection before your image appeared causing his lips to part. “Is she the only one?”

Thror, “Of her kin it appears so, at least on that island. There are others on what she calls the mainland but they only appear for the whales passing.”

Thranduil, “Any word on if she wishes to return home?”

Thror, “We’ve only received word on their safety nothing else. Roac managed to fetch us a hair.”

Thranduil raised his brow, “Stole is more like it. It wouldn’t be pulsing like this if he had asked for it.”

Thror eyed the now glowing strand of hair dissolving into a string of light that was soon claimed by Thranduil’s hand before they delved into a deeper discussion of the future plans they might have to address should you arrive, mainly your transfer to Greenwood to learn of your kin. At least until Thror mentioned your healing of Thorin’s fin stirring talks of your having to still visit for teachings of your kin while also honoring your union with the Dwarf Prince.

…

Days drug on as you maintained your work healing the creatures around you and clearing the island as jet skis and boats filled the cove driving more and more creatures into your house for safety as the countless men arrived. All stealing glimpses of you through the day and daring to draw closer to you driving you back inside for as long as you could manage, learning more of the Durins’ lives. Stealing the chance to have them sketch out their home as you draped your feet in the water swinging your feet under the surface as the flowing fins along the sides of their tails slid across your legs. Peering over Thorin’s shoulder you shifted your eyes from the sketch he was drawing for you to tilt your head eyeing the more rigid fins across his arms. Glancing up his eyes trailed yours and he paused his sketching causing you to quickly say, “Sorry.”

Shaking his head he lowered the pencil and raised his arm offering it sideways before you for inspection, smiling softly as you gently shifted his arm and fin before releasing it as he asked, “You don’t have fins? Elves normally do.”

Your eyes met his with a curious smile, “Not any Elves I’ve met. Are there Elves under the ocean too? We don’t have any Dwarves, and my kin are few and far between.”

“At least three Elven Kingdoms surrounding ours along our western borders. Made us wonder when we were younger at your ears and braid. And the songs you sing, they’re in Elvish.”

“Do they have tails like yours?”

Dwalin, “No, they’re longer, fins too.”

Fili, “All flowy, kind of like goldfish.”

Eyeing their fins you asked, “You’re all related, the other two I met before as well, then why are your tails different colors?”

Thorin smirked, “I’m the firstborn Son, so deep royal blue, Dwalin is the second born Son from his Father and Fili and Kili have tails like their Mother’s. If I don’t have children Fili’s tail will shift colors when I am dying.”

They watched as you shifted slightly and crossed your ankles asking, “This might be rude to ask, but, do you lay eggs like certain fish or do the women carry them, I mean with your, upper half it stirs up questions.”

Smirking again the older two chuckled before Thorin answered, “It’s not rude. The women carry them and they’re born in, what would you call it Dwalin?”

Dwalin motioned his hands around in a circle, “It, well it’s squishy and red, easy to break through, which you have to to get the pebbles out..”

“Pebbles?”

Fili and Kili raised their hands rocking them side to side, repeating “Pebbles.”

“Oh, babies,” You giggled making their smiles grow, “That’s adorable, pebbles.”

Thorin, “Do you have a term for the pebble orbs?”

“Sort of sounds like the birth sack, normally for our kind, at least land Elves the, pebble is born without the orb and then the orb follows after.”

Dwalin, “Sounds painful, two births.”

Thorin, “Can’t imagine Dis having to handle that. She already struggles enough through the usual few minutes.”

Their eyes traveled to you again at your sudden chuckle, “Minutes, sometimes it can take us days to give birth. Sometimes we have to have surgery to finally get the baby out.”

Kili, “Surgery?”

You nodded, “It sounds worse than it is, but if the baby gets sick or is hurt or if the Mother is than they have to cut the Mother’s stomach,” Their eyes went wider as their mouths opened, “Now it’s not like a gutting, it’s a clean cut just big enough to get the baby and then the Mother is healed. Only used as a last resort. Longer recovery for the Mother but sometimes it’s necessary.”

Thorin, “And this is common?”

Fili, “Cutting women open?”

“Doctors rarely choose surgery unless all other options are tried first. Sometimes the Mother just cannot physically handle the birth on her own. I assure you she’s put to sleep first so it’s not like she’s thrashing around, and there’s pain medicine after for her.”

Fili, “That’s much more comforting.”

“Doctors are meant to heal not harm, so anything they do is to try and lessen the pain of their patients.”

Dwalin, “Patients?”

“I healed you, so that would make me your Doctor, making you the Patient.” The group nodded and turned at the latest gull arriving with word of the underwater clearing progress leaving you and Thorin still alone in the pool. 

Wetting his lips Thorin turned easing himself up to sit at your side flashing you a soft smile as he asked, “When we leave, did you want to come with us?”

Smiling up at him you asked, “What about your Grandfather and his banishment proclamation?”

Thorin smirked, “Turns out. Now don’t be mad, but Roac stole a strand of your hair.” He paused waiting for a shocked expression or anger or anything not the blank curious stare you were giving him waiting for him to continue, “My Grandfather examined it and it turns out you’re a land Elf.”

You nodded, “Obviously. We’ve already covered that.”

Thorin chuckled softly, “No.” Wetting his lips again, “Our kin, by gift of Mahal, are granted four days on land through our lives, each of us, four days, that is all, then we must return to the water. If we don’t, then we remain on land for the rest of our days until we are called back into the stone. Land Elves are those that chose or were forced to remain.”

“So, that grants me a day pass to visit you or something?”

His smile softened, “No, and yes, but, there is magic, old magic our kin posses that could allow you to live among us, should you wish to.”

His eyes lingered across your face watching as you glanced away watching the turtles sliding against your feet affectionately, “I have a life here. Not much of one. But what about the animals?”

“They would find you. And your home could always be moved, there are ways to do that as well.” His hand gently rested on yours across your thigh giving you another soft smile locking his eyes with yours, “There’s time. Think it through.”

Nodding again you eyed the turtles again as his fingers gently eased against yours unable to fold between them due to the thin webbing causing you to lift his hand and curiously inspect it as his smile deepened. Turning your head your fingers met his neck raising his chin unable to see his shocked reaction as your fingers eased against his beard and sensitive neck after his barely audible gasp as you asked, “How do you breathe? You don’t have any gills?” Lowering his chin again you caught his stunned look causing you to say, “I am so sorry, that was just out of nowhere.”

Shaking his head he gently curled his hands around yours saying, “No need to apologize. You’re curious, and learning about us. Though, I should mention hair is quite important to my Kin.”

“And I touched your beard, sorry about that.”

His fingers tightened around your hands in an affirming way, “Don’t be. Normally only courting pairs share touches or permission to the other’s hair. But we’re beyond that, you’ve touched my fin twice now, so hair,” with a soft clearing of his throat he smiled at you again saying, “You are free to touch my hair.”

Blinking twice his eyes watched as you wet your lips, “I’m sorry, but your fin?”

He nodded raising his tail fin out of the water with a smirk, “You stroked my fin, means I’m yours. I swear to you, should you choose to live with us you will want for nothing.”

“Even if I did it in a healing act?”

“The webbing is sensitive, to use your hands to stroke it forms an unbreakable bond.”

“So, I healed you and you’re stuck with me?”

His smile deepened as he wiggled closer to your side, “I assure you, I am not stuck. You have a heart I’ve only dreamed of. So selfless and kind, you’ll make an excellent Queen.” Before you could say a word his forehead met yours through his hand stroking your cheek, “Not a day has passed I haven’t loved and ached for you. If it takes my lifetime I will be worthy of a heart like yours.”

With a loud explosion outside all the otters fled for cover as the fish swarmed from the cove into the tanks and surrounding pools on your island as Thorin pulled you onto his lap with full barbs exposed, cradling you against his chest. Drawing in a steady breath you gently tapped his chest drawing your focus from his pounding heart. “Thorin, it’s only an explosion from the workers. Not on the island. We’re safe.”

Relaxing his grip his eyes lowered at your fingers grazing across the now stiffened fins along his arms he nodded asking, “Did you want to swim with us?”

Nodding you said, “I’ll have to change first though.”

Gently he eased you to his side with another soft smile watching as you eased your legs up and walked towards the stairs as he spotted his kin popping up through the water and easing at his vague explanation. Then watching through the tanks as you walked down the stairs again in a pair of shorts and a black bikini top with arms raised as you twisted your hair into a long braid. With wandering eyes Thorin eased into the water as you sat down and eased into the water sliding the mouthpiece between your lips to hold against the roof of your mouth as Kili quirked up his brows circling you asking, “What’s that?” Tapping the small breathing converter strapped across your lower back.

Removing your mouth piece you answered, “Helps me breathe under water.”

They all smiled watching you add it again and follow Fili in dunking under the surface to swim out to the warmer outer pools. Easing through the random schools of fish and other creatures as the younger Durins eyed your body moving through your slow pace alongside Thorin who made sure to remain within reach should you need him. Pausing again you rose to the surface at the next explosion causing you to huff and dunk under again and swim as fast as you could to the other side of the island. Catching your urgency Thorin gently eased his arms around your middle holding you against his chest as he led the racing winding charge to the pool you wished then eased you out of the water so you could examine the mess the workers were making.

Groaning and rubbing your face you eyed the crews laying explosives through the still halfway collapsed island trying to split it into more workable pieces as Fili asked, “What’s going on?”

Turning around you lowered your hands saying, “They’re making a bigger mess. Ruining the cove. It’ll drive all the animals away.”

Thorin huffed unable to raise himself high enough leading you to walk over and kneel before him easing his arms around your neck and rising up causing him to gasp at the next explosion as Dwalin and the boys held your legs while Thorin’s flicking tail nearly made you stagger back into the pool. Easing him down again you gave the other a turn as well before returning to the pool again for another round of swimming and greeting the terrified escaping animals entering your Kingdom to clam them down.

…

Days kept speeding by as you slowly inched closer to the Durins learning all about their culture as Thorin did his best to share all he could about himself asking the same flurried round of questions about you in return including tours of your home asking what each item does. All between your few trips to try and work with the Men on their repairs only to be met with shouts and flurries of insults and comments on their not taking orders or suggestions form anyone as naïve as you. Returning home your near growl drew the Durin’s smirks before you stormed up to your room falling flat on your face and screaming into your mattress and blankets as they floated in the tank watching you take several deep breaths just laying there for a few minutes before turning over at the soft knocking coming from the tank. Sighing you turned spotting the four and rose to go back downstairs to rest against a set of pillows at the edge of the pool watching a movie with them as Thorin gently eased his fingers through your hair in the hope of calming you. Smiling deeper as your head would nuzzle against his hand through his gentle scalp massages through your snuggling until you returned back up to bed at his gentle urging so you wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor and making sure to keep watch over you until you fell asleep.

Apparently your latest bout of assisting with the cleanup had stirred up more than a few hateful thoughts about you. Halfway past midnight the Durin’s eyes popped open at the hushed voices and crashes across the island. Popping through the outer pools they spotted the group of men trashing the houses around yours before they turned and raced back to your house silently confirming their plan. Gripping the edge of the pool and rising out of the water with pained pants at their bodies shifting from tails to thigh legs. Taking the few minutes to acclimate to the new limbs before their charge at the group of men armed with bats crashing through the door waking you with a gasp as two of them raced up to find you. With a single swing you fell heavily to the floor drawing the furious Princes up the stairs after incapacitating the others. Growling loudly at the Men attempting to kneel around you and tearing them away from you and throwing them back down the stairs.

Kneeling at your side Thorin eased his hand across your cheek softly whispering to you as Dwalin and the boys said, “Stay with her. We’ll handle them.”

Nodding Thorin gently cradled you in his arms raising you up from the thick plush fake fur rug sending tingles through his new feet crossing to your bed coated in countless soft layers he eased you onto gently while he heard the others dragging the men away. Glancing around Thorin’s eyes fell to the otter pointing his paw up towards the cabinet in the bathroom. Easing you form his grip he climbed off the bed curiously staring at his swinging fully exposed reproductive organs, formally hidden in his tail. Along with the two round muscles at the base of his back connected to his legs coated in hair dark short hairs starting at his waist and going down to his feet causing his brows to raise at the strange new reflection. Shaking his head he turned to the cabinet collecting the familiar kit he’d seen you use before and returned to your side kneeling on the bed opening the case and dabbing the small cut across your forehead from knocking against the edge of the bed frame. Looking down over your half covered frame his fingers gripped the hem of you shirt, easing it up, finding the small cut there from the swing at your ribs.

Huffing trough a low growl he gripped a small bandage after cleaning and coating the cut with the help of the otter reminding him of the order before easing your shirt down again and gently sliding in against your side making sure to cover you again. Doing his best to focus on you as he realized why you chose to sleep here between all these soft layers as the other Durins drug the men to the tallest peaks of the Kingdom and tossed the men over the edge to the waiting sharks below, alerted by the gulls of their harming you and your home. Entering your home again the four of them started to clean up after bolting the door and all the shutters downstairs again, stealing their own glimpses at their new forms in each of the reflective surfaces before joining Thorin around you in bed above the covers respecting your union as you slept in his arms.

..

Softly groaning your eyes opened in the bright room as heavy snores surrounded you. Raising your head you glanced at the naked blonde Prince in your view before eyeing the hand woven with yours bearing Thorin’s ring. As he stirred behind you, you gently eased up, fighting against your painfully throbbing ribs, eyeing the other two naked, with legs laying across your bed before you glanced under the blankets and lowered them again to rub your face as Thorin’s arms curled around your middle. Lowering your hands you glanced at Thorin gently kissing your elbow before rising himself with a soft smile easing his warm hand over your back rumbling out, “Are you alright? You only had a couple cuts I didn’t know how to mend the rest.”

Smiling at him softly you said, “You used your four days on me?”

Easing his hand across your cheek his loving gaze deepened, “No one hurts you My Love. We would never allow it.”

“Where are they?”

“They were fed to the sharks.”

Your eyes widened, “Sharks?! Thorin, they’re not nameless, other will come looking for them!”

The other three stirred around you eyeing your ragged breathing as you rubbed your face again and Thorin wrapped across your back saying, “Good news then, we received word yesterday the tunnel through the wreckage is nearly completed. You can live with us, we’ll move your home too, no one will hurt you.”

Gasping softly you rested against Thorin’s hands as he eased you back down again as they fetched the herbs and creams for you as well as adding the spare sweats you had. Instructing them on how to wrap your wounds before your grumble at the doorbell ringing. Rising from bed you struggled your way to the door opening it, leaning against the frame to be helped inside to the couch by the pair of officers eyeing the destroyed state of your house. Sitting at your sides taking your statement and the Durins after your mental urging to state they had broken in and been scared off when they saw the guys staying with you. Following your order reluctantly they stayed at your side through the ride to the hospital at the officers’ insistence.

All through the bustling city the Durins quietly took in the sights, sounds and smells before following you inside the hospital. A place of healing as you put it, only seeming empty and cold leaving them feeling absolutely helpless. All for a set of images and pictures followed by several more tests with way too many objects inserted into your body than the men, and Thorin especially liked. Before you were finally driven back to the ferry where Thorin lifted you in his arms and carried you back to find the police leaving your house after having been cleared while the rest of the island was blocked off to be cataloged and photographed as a search was sent out with the sketches you provided.

.

Snuggled back in their arms in bed you relaxed as they took turns cooking and cleaning for you as Thorin saw to your every other need through the next few days enjoying the chance to have you curled up in his arms between visits from the police with the same result-less reports. Easing through your fourth day you couldn’t help but feel the same pained ache Thorin and the others were bearing at their lack of ability to take care of you through the rest of your healing, which thankfully was soaring by due to your healing abilities. Gazing up at the snoring Dwarf Prince at your side you eased up higher gently kissing his cheek and snuggling at his side as his snoring ceased and he stole a smiling glance at you then curled tighter around you and tensed at your hushed comment, “Don’t you dare consider staying like this for me.”

Pulling back slightly his eyes met yours as he asked, “What?”

“I can’t be the reason you would wish to stay like this.”

“I want to be with you.”

“Thorin, you’re forgetting your offer of me returning with you. All your people, your culture, I refuse to be the reason you leave all that.”

His hand eased over your cheek with a growing smile and glowing eyes, “You’re coming home with me?”

“If they’ll let me.” With a deepening smile he inched closer timidly, only relaxing through a relieved exhale as his lips melted against yours through the brief kiss. Resting his forehead against yours stroking your cheek before checking your covers were tucked enough around you.

Drawing you closer to him again his smile deepened as he pulled you into his arms for another stolen snuggling nap a the others piled on around you.

.

Waking again you caught the start of a golden hue in the sky and eased up stirring Thorin and leading him down to his kin already slipping into the water. Pausing at the edge Thorin’s warm hand left yours to cup your cheek causing you to turn as his lips crashed into yours as you felt the warm sunset pouring over you. Ignoring the time his arms tightened around you drawing tears across your cheeks as you took a step back turning him and pulling him backwards into the pool. Holding your breath through the kiss he struggled to hold through his painful transformation back, finally pulling back feeling your feet sliding along the base of his tail as you tread water as he held you across his chest and turned to sit you on the edge rising again with his arms on either side of you stealing another kiss before saying, “You should get back to bed.”

Fili, “The oven’s on a timer and we’ll make sure you get up in time.”

Kili, “And the smoothie’s in the fridge.”

Dwalin, “And the Screen’s on a timer for that film you like.”

Fili smiled patting your knee gently, “Shouldn’t be long now about the tunnel.”

Nodding you flashed a weak smile at Thorin and rose, turning away to head back up to bed catching the returned mournful gaze from Thorin through the giant tank peering through your bedroom as you laid in bed covering yourself and glancing at the tv as it flicked on with the timer. Snuggling in tighter you did all you could not to cry as you caught the four of them gathered in the tank watching the movie with you until you rose to collect your dinner and eat alongside the pool sharing it with them through another film.

..

All around you you could hear and feel it. The tension building from the absence of the Men as a massive chunk of the cove had finally been cleared with glares and hateful grumbles aimed at your island from the Men and the families of the missing Men. Day by day it cleared leading to a massive row of shouts tearing you from your dreams. Jumping out of bed you ushered all the animals from your home through the tunnels into the cove to search for shelter as you caught the breathing converter Fili had squirmed across the floor to grab for you before accepting your help back onto the pool. Gripping Thorin’s arms across your chest as they led you through the tunnels through their racing pace as the other animals followed you out into the cove.

Finally back in the open cove your heads rose from the water as you gripped Thorin’s arms tighter seeing the crowds as they looted through the island before you turned your head signaling the Durins to duck under after they each rubbed your arms to comfort you seeing the quivering lip you tried to mask. Staying fixed safely in Thorin’s arms you followed the open path through the cove heading straight through an old familiar path past the broken boat yard and a rocky maze before crossing a large empty patch of just sand with the animals all crowding through the opening in the next massive rock wall shoved open by the two massive guards bowing to the returning Durins.

Eyeing the massive city your head swiveled causing them to slow and grant you a better look pointing out everything along the way. Finally leading you through the outer gates of the underwater mountain Kingdom as you eyed the Dwarves all gathering around eyeing you curiously through your path into the Throne Room as you mentally asked Thorin, “So, which one’s the King, the one with the big beard or the really big beard?”

Chuckling softly he whispered against your ear, “The really big beard.”

Nodding you asked, “Am I supposed to bow?”

Again he whispered, “Just your head. Don’t worry. We’ll be right here.”

Drawing closer you glanced down seeing the countless floors below the rail-less walkway all lit with glowing crystals. Looking up again you were released as Dis crashed into her Sons pulling them into a tight hug. With a sideways kick you moved out of the crashing hug Fenrir pulled Dwalin and Thorin in as the others crowded around them shouting over each other in their rough secret language. Glancing around your eyes caught the attention of an elderly man with a great white shark’s body starting just below his armpits with a large hat pairing with his long white hair and beard clutching a white staff offering you a kind smile. Swimming closer to the open space on the ledge in front of him your hands reached down to brush down your baggy tank top covering your panties as you mumbled mentally to yourself, “Great day not to sleep in shorts.”

Looking over at the rest of the group you sighed at the growing number of Durins joining the hugging conference as you decided to try sinking, ceasing your kicking slowly reaching the cool green marble floor. Brushing down your shirt again you lowered even more curling your legs under you and sitting at the edge of the ledge feeling your loosening bun pooling around your left ear. Pulling the hair tie free your fingers eased through your long shifting curls completely missing the crowd stealing glances at you while you struggled to pull your nearly belt length curls into a braid. With a stolen glance and a flash of blue past you causing you to turn your head you caught Thorin’s smile, stealing a peck on your cheek before claiming control of your hair and easily finishing your braid, accepting the hair tie from you and curling his arms around your middle as you gripped your shirt again as he lifted you to your feet again.

Remaining at your side you realized the entire group had turned to face you eyeing you and your brightly glowing form causing a flashing smile to ease on your face as King Thror approached you with brightly glowing blue eyes he still eyed you sternly even as you briefly bowed your head at him. With a firm voice he said, “We owe you a great deal of debt for aiding and healing our Kin Miss Jaqi.”

Mentally you replied partially stunning him, “You don’t owe me a thing.”

Glancing from you to Thorin Thror focused on Thorin as he said in Khuzdul, “She can only speak mentally under water. She doesn’t mean any offence.”

Thror nodded looking to you again he flashed you a kind smile after you’d stolen a curious glance at Thorin, “You’ve decided to stay then?”

Beyond your control his demeanor flinched at your sudden quivering lip as your tearing eyes darted away while Thorin curled his arms around you replying for you, “The Men clearing the wreckage from the cove were raiding and destroying her home when we left. But yes, before that she’d already decided to stay.”

Looking back at Thror after a few deep breaths you flashed him a masking smile and nodded watching as he moved closer to you and eased you into a comforting yet brief hug while the Princes held back their chuckles at your stunned expression that switched back into a smile when he pulled back again saying, “Welcome to Erebor then. Though we thought you might enjoy learning more about your people as well.”

“The Elves right?”

Thror nodded turning his head as an arriving messenger announced something in Khuzdul that Thorin leaned in to translate, “King Thranduil and his Son are here to greet you.” Catching his eyes his smile grew as he added, “They’re Greenwood Elves.”

Nodding again you looked to the door watching as they swam in so seemingly gracefully with their long flowing tails coated in billowing fins that settled around them shimmering brightly in gold and white matching their glowing skin and hair. After greeting King Thror after he turned their eyes shifted to you noticing your bright glow sending you respectful bows of their heads that you returned before moving closer to you as Thror eased back.

Thranduil, “Miss Jaqi, once your transformation is complete we would be honored to escort you to our Kingdom for your stay.”

“It’s already all planned out?”

Smiling larger you caught a glimmer in his icy blue eyes, “Yes it is, the next few months to fill you in completely on our people and our history. At least you already know the language.”

Turning to the side he glanced at the shark man as you glanced at Thorin asking, “Months?”

Gently stroking your cheek with a comforting smile he replied in a soft whisper, “Just a few days then I’ll be able to visit, and I’ll be right at your side again.”

Nodding again you turned to the shark man announcing himself as Gandalf before giving you a whole speech before Thorin had to leave your side before tapping you with his staff. Blinking your eyes your brows furrowed as you felt a creeping scratch at the base of your throat making it hard to breathe urging you to cover your mouth trying to mask your body dry heaving before a muffled whimper came from you drawing Thorin back to your side clutching you tightly. Whispering soft comforting sentiments as you struggled through the painful shift eventually easing the mouthpiece from your mouth when breathing became too painful.

Trembling again your eyes rolled back and you slumped in Thorin’s arms as the final set of shimmering white nearly sheer flowing fins coating your lilac and shimmering white tail draped across his other arm. With your head flat against his chest his eyes darted up to Gandalf worried as he felt your heart stop entirely drawing the Wizard forward easing his hand across your face muttering in an ancient language before your eyes opened through your sudden gasp.

With a growing smile Thorin’s arms curled around yours as he let your breathing converter fall to the ground with a deep chuckle burying his face against your shoulder feeling your tail lay flat against his. Groggily you smiled at him before looking down with a smile softly whispering, “So pretty.”

Chuckling again your eyes rose to meet Thorin’s as his hand cupped your cheek and he rested his forehead against yours, then gripped your waist as you eyed your tail trying to stay off the ground drawing a brief lesson on swimming from the group. Turning back again to Thror your smile dimmed partially as he said, “It’s a long trip, you should be leaving soon or you’ll miss the tide.”

Nodding again you forced your smile to stay as you turned giving Thorin a brief hug soon joined by Fili, Kili and Dwalin drawing a weak giggle from you. Pulling back again a brief kiss was stolen by Thorin after whispered, “Just a few days.” Trying his hardest not to let his breaking emotions to show through as you nodded again and turned to sloppily follow after the elegant Elf King and Prince fighting your urge not to rush back to the only piece of home you had left in Thorin’s arms.

Struggling through the long swim you stayed fixed in the sights of the Elven guards who knew your only way to master the task was to keep trying through the foreign motions and sensations of having fins coating your limbs and lower back. After what you seemed like a good few miles you finally arrived at the sea weed surrounded Kingdom feeling your eyelids trying to droop after your exhausting transformation and trip. With a glance back Thranduil led you straight up to the Royal Wing as all the other Elves stole glimpses of you as you passed, leading you through the halls to the last door in the hall opening it for you as Thranduil showed you inside.

Leading you into the sleeping room you met his eyes as he said, “I’ll leave you to get your rest.”

Nodding your head you smiled softly at the Prince still eyeing you curiously along with the guards who exited closing the door behind them as you turned eyeing the white marble room with a solid square of carven marble you could only imagine to be your bed. Sloppily swimming over you couldn’t hold back your lip quivering again through your tear filled eyes as you sat down on the edge of the stone feeling your fins settle as you did. Just as you thought your change couldn’t truly be that hard the hard truth was right under you leaving the painful night of sleep, if you could get any at all, as the worst part of this change. With only Thorin’s company in a few day bringing you any hope of settling happy here. Lounging out your body instinctually curled up on a ball as your sobs broke free mourning your years of losses with the last loss before your eventual crash into a pitiful attempt at sleep dreaming of your giant fluffy bed coated in furs.

.

Smiling as they left the Thranduil and Legolas returned to the last of their meetings eagerly spreading news of their new resident returned to the ocean. Lingering happily though the evening before finally returning to their rooms curiously eyeing the heartbroken appearing guards, who upon being questioned revealed your sobs had recently died out leading them to assume you’d finally cried yourself to sleep. Unable to think of what to say they parted ways heading to their beds trying to sleep themselves, facing a remorseful night of tossing and turning hoping this was a temporary ache for you that would soon pass as you settled.

Pt 3

[sueboohscorner]

Wynonna Earp S3 Ep3 : "Colder Weather" (A Time To Mourn)

Dolls is dead. It appears with all certainty that he is dead for good.  Death itself is easy for the one dying, but the ones that get left behind are trying to pick up the pieces and figure out a way to mourn the loved one that passed away. That requires some time.  What I like about this show is that they never just pass over the feelings.  This is a big one and the greatest thing this show did was to allow an entire episode to see how all of Dolls' new "family" deal with him being gone and to allow us fans to mourn right along side them.

The opening is stunning. 

A beautifully haunting song and Melanie Scrofano's close up of her face, mainly her eye with tears and the tears falling down on Dolls' dog tags.  No other way to describe the feeling of losing Dolls. Dolls was the voice of reason, the rock that helped to anchor Wynonna and even helped to keep the team together.  What are they to do now? 

Wynonna is definitely not taking it well. 

She is outside in the cold weather and snow in the woods near the Earp Homestead shooting off Peacemaker and screaming for Bulshar to show himself and come and face her.  She is stone cold drunk off her ass.  Bulshar doesn't show up, but a revenant does.  "Not the prick that I was looking for, but a prick none the less." she tells him.  He smiles and says " That's what my first wife said and I killed her for it."  He goes on to say that he is surprised to even see her there.  Doesn't she have a funeral to plan?  She swings at him and misses him by a mile (yes, she is that drunk) and falls down.  See raises the gun and then basically to hell with it.  "I'm too tired to kill you."  But he isn't too tired to try to kill her, but before he can, Waverly and Nicole come out and Waverly fires a shot and the revenant runs off.  Wynonna has to chuckle "You shot him in the dick!  That is so sweet!"

They help Wynonna back and Waverly says "No one goes anywhere for awhile until we ....."    "Until we say goodbye." Nicole finishes.  Wynonna stares at the fire and says "I don't know how I'm gonna put Dolls in the ground."

It should be noted here that the theme song that came after this scene was still the same opening song, but acoustic and mournful sounding in honor of Dolls and how everyone is feeling.

We go to Doc's bar and he picks up a piece of clothing and hears a noise.  Kate is sitting at the bar.   "The last time we met you had me tied to a stripper pole."  he says.  "You used to like that kind of thing. However, if we are keeping score, you shot me!"  "And you did not die." Doc points out.  

  Kate tells Doc that the cards (her tarot cards that go everywhere with her) told her about the death of the great warrior (as she turns over that card).She apologizes for Dolls' death but Doc stops her and says "I am sorry, but that is not for you to apologize for."  He means that she didn't know Dolls, so she doesn't get to give him (Doc) sympathy for someone who meant something to him and not her. "I can tell you where he's gone."  Doc gets closer and stares her down.  He knows exactly where a man like Xavier Dolls is and he is at peace.  "My hero, the one who took down your vampire kin, she is hurtin'.  She is the one who needs my help.   Kate tells Doc "You might as well stop chasing that girl. You'll competing with a ghost for the rest of your days. It never ends well."  This doesn't help to improve Doc's mood and tells Kate to leave. He asks what does she want from him.  She replies that she just wants him to say her name (real name is not Countessa), but if he won't do that can she at least meet his friends.  "Absolutely not!"  Doc says to her.  As she walks to the doors she says  "We always did have terrible timing."   "No, we were just terrible." Doc replies.

Back at the Earp house, there is a funeral director showing Nicole and Waverly types of coffins and all that good stuff.  The funeral director at first assume they have husbands, but they hold each other and he gets the message.  Nicole tells Waverly that when she dies, she wants to be put on a high platform, eaten by vultures and pooped out back to the Earth.  The look on Waverly's face is priceless.  "Wow.  That's.....very graphic."  Waverly brings up that she will probably be buried with her family.  However, the funeral director points out that Ward Earp only had 2 additional plots besides the one for their mother.  One for Willa and the other for Wynonna.  Ouch.

Wynonna comes in, sees the coffin photos, etc and says she is definitely not dealing with that.  Death is permanent and they have all the time in the world.  She heads outside with her gun and a bottle of booze.

Doc comes up and finds her shooting stuff off the rail with precision.   "Finally planted that left foot I see." he says to her.   "No, more like I stepped in a frozen cow patty and now I'm kinda stuck."  Doc reply?  "Well, it looks good on you."  LOL.

Wynonna says how she is supposed to face the facts, again.  She's done this before.  WIth Daddy, Shorty and Willa.  Doc says "Twice."  and Wynonna agrees that yes, she dealt with it twice with Willa.

"This was a real kick in the box." she tells Doc  

"Yes, ma'am." he replies.

Wynonna goes on to say that she just doesn't understand what happened to him out on that ledge.  

"We were dyin' Wynonna.  Dolls, he saved us."  Doc says

Wynonna begins to cry and falls into Doc's arms.  He hold her tight with a hand in her hair and on her back.  

"Oh, love.  Love, sometimes you get and sometimes you get got."  he says and then starts a  conversation of "Back in my day...."  He tells how gunslingers would die and be buried with their boots on.  To be buried on Boot Hill and it became a popularity contest.  

"However, the ritual of it.  Setting a man's horse loose to run, placing a fine bottle of whiskey on his grave."  Doc says and Wynonna thinks that sounds nice.  "Whiskey, I would then steal because a good liquor should never go to waste on the dead."

"Death must have been cheap then." Wynonna comments.

"Death is never cheap."  Doc replies 

Wynonna tells Doc that (as he gently wipes a tear away from her cheek) that they need to get Bulshar.  Doc informs her that they really should do right by Dolls first.  Wynonna asks if Doc knew Dolls was from Arizona.  He did not ask to go back there.  "Dolls chose his family and we are it." she tells Doc.  Doc smiles a little and says "Poor asshole."  They shut up then and hug some more, silently holding each other on the hillside.

I LOVE LOVE this scene.  First, I love the Wynonna and Doc love that is there, but they fight it like it is something so scary, but then fall for it again and again just to run away once more.  You can see how much Doc really loves Wynonna when he is holding her and talking to her.  He even makes her smile, which is something no one else has been able to do so far.

Back inside the house, Wynonna sits in her spot on the couch while Waverly and Doc argue about the idea of a wake.  Waverly thinks it is a bad idea to celebrate and be merry when someone has died.  Doc says it is necessary and is the proper thing to do.  When a man dies, you celebrate his life.  Nicole agrees with Doc.  Waverly then decides a wake it is and starts manically listing sandwiches she will need to make and how can they eat when Dolls will never eat again.  She starts to nervously giggle.  Doc tells her she is being disrespectful and Waverly calms down and tells Doc that what, to be more like him.  Lifeless with no feeling.  Doc pauses then slaps his glass across the room and it smashes against the wall.  "Is that enough feeling for you?" he asks.  He then gets up, and walks out.

Wynonna finally speaks up and asks what do they do now.  Nicole suggests that maybe she and Waverly can go to Dolls' hotel room and find him something nice to wear.  Waverly asks how are they going to get in.  Nicole discloses that she has a key (which gets a look from Wynonna) and explains that it was in a professional capacity.  Two officers in the line of duty.  There is more to that story, but we will never see that side of the conversation.  Wynonna puts out there that she doesn't even know where Dolls is.  Nicole says that Jeremy is doing the autopsy which upsets Wynonna greatly and she rushes out of the house.

Doc back at the bar is in his basement.  Apparently there was a break in and he is none too happy about the lack of respect.  However, all he sees missing is the banana liquor.  However, what he doesn't see is that the BBD serum for Dolls is missing. He hears a noise upstairs and pulls his gun and goes to investigate. He finds a man in his bar saying he just got off the bus and could use a beer, but instead has found himself at gunpoint.  He is also pointing a gun at Doc.  Doc says it seems they have "a classic Mexican standoff" to which the man points out that is is probably not very PC to refer to it that way anymore.  Whatever.  Doc informs the man that the bar is closed and will remain closed due to them having a wake.  The man claims he knows that it is for Xavier Dolls.  Doc is still not convinced and cocks his gun.

At the hotel room, Waverly and Nicole are looking through what there is of Dolls' stuff.  "I have seen monks who have more shit."  Waverly observes  Nicole chuckles. Somehow the conversation turns to Nicole's story of when she was young and went to a music festival here in Purgatory with her aunt and uncle.  There was an attack and a lot of blood and screaming. She thinks it was the demon that dolls killed.  She was lied to for years that it was a forest fire, but as she has looked into it, it seems that Black Badge didn't want info leaked and burned the forest to cover stuff up. 

She made it to a boat and someone eventually saved her, but she couldn't save Dolls.  She begins to cry.

Back at "basecamp" Wynonna comes bursting in yelling at Jeremy to put down the scalpel.  He puts his hands up.  He has no scalpel and there is no body as she can see. 

He doesn't need to do an autopsy on Dolls because he knows exactly what killed him.  Wynonna knows now that Jeremy knew something was wrong with Dolls and didn't get told about it.  She's mad.  Jeremy says that he was ordered by Dolls not to tell anyone and that he was respecting his wishes.  Wynonna doesn't care.  She thinks that more could have been done, but Jeremy tells her that there is absolutely nothing anyone could have done.  He himself had tried.  It was the Black Badge serum.  Wynonna tells him that she will never forgive him for this.  Jeremy pauses for a sec and then says, "I get it.  It's easier to blame me than the dead dragon."  Wynonna gets pissed and tells him to pack his stuff and leave, he is not needed here anymore.

Wynonna goes back to the bar, only to find Doc laughing and drinking it up with a man she has never seen before, but his hands are bound with christmas lights.  Doc introduces him as Ramon Quinn.  But the man says that just "Quinn is fine."  Wynonna asks Doc if he knew about Dolls dying.  Quinn steps in and says that of course Dolls was dying.  His body couldn't handle the stress of it anymore and it was amazing he lasted as long as he did.  "Probably by sheer will." he says.  Wynonna asks if he knew Dolls.  "Better than anyone." he says showing a bunch of dog tags.  He adds that now that Black Badge is in the wind, no one has that serum anymore.

Meanwhile in some cafe nearby, a revenant shoots himself up with some of the stolen serum.  They want the power that the Black Badge agent had and then they will be unstoppable.  Or so they think.  He starts to change and goes bezerker mode on a fellow comrade.

Back at the bar Wynonna finds out that Quinn found out from an ad in the back of a magazine that Jeremy probably was told to do by Dolls when he was gone. Apparently it was in a special code that only their squadron knew so that when one of them died....they are all dead now.....they could attend the funeral without Black Badge showing up.  He talks about how Dolls was a rebel.  He escaped the facility six times in three months.  Wynonna wonders why Dolls, if he knew he was that bad, didn't seek help.  "Maybe he stuck around for you." Quinn remarks.  "No maybe about it." Doc adds.  Wynonna leans into Quinn and says he is allowed to stay for the wake, but then he is leaving and he had better not try anything while he is there.  Especially today.

Waverly and Nicole are still at the hotel room.  They had found an envelope for Wynonna that said "When I am gone" on it.  They are shocked to think that Dolls knew he was dying and didn't tell anyone.  They talk a bit about how Nicole doesn't want Waverly's pity and Waverly counters with that it is going to take a little bit to process the fact that her girlfriend was involved in a supernatual massacre.  They promise each other not to die and kiss.  Then they see a shadow of someone running past the window.  The only problem.....they are 3 stories up and no balcony out there.

They run outside and Waverly is trying to guess what or who it is.  A voice says, "You can call me Katelin." and Kate grabs Waverly's purse and runs.  They try to run after her, but as Nicole points out, she "can run pretty fast for a hot chick."

There is a sweet moment with Wynonna and Nedley in the morgue. 

He was there to make sure no one did anything with the body.  Wynonna admits that she used to think he was an asshole and Nedley says that he used to think the same thing about Dolls, but he saw that when it comes to saving the world one had to have some selfishness.  He tells Wynonna that the body will be there for as long as she needs.  Thank you Nedley.

The wake begins.  Whiskey is poured and a toast made to Dolls. 

Waverly got to make her sandwiches after all and everyone seems okay.  Waverly sees Doc across the way and goes to talk to him.  He interrupts her and apologizes for his behavior earlier.  Also, he wishes he could take back the last words he said to Dolls which was they were both destined for Hell.  Waverly is shocked and Doc confides in her that he himself has been there.  He went there when Dolls shot him in the alternate reality.  He has come to the conclusion that he is destined to return there no matter what.  (Somehow I REALLY don't think that is going to happen)

Waverly understands and feels for him, but she needs Doc's help in the now.  She explains about the envelope for Wynonna from Dolls and that a hot chick with a perfect purple pout came up and stole her purse and that was in it.  Doc curses under his breath and says he knows who the thief is but they need to keep it on the down low.  They quickly go out the back and take off.

A quick moment with Wynonna and Quinn.  Quinn wasn't one of the ones (who have some weird nicknames...like Jingles) who were experimented on because he was the wrong blood type.  However, Black Badge would never simply give up Dolls and that there is a good reason his other team members are in unmarked graves.

Jeremy and Nicole are in the basement.  Nicole looking for some more vodka and wonders why Jeremy is down there alone.  He is looking over the carnage of the break in and just shrugs when she says that he should be upstairs too.  He looks and sees that the BBD serum is all gone.  Someone stole it!  Just then you can hear demonic voices coming to the bar.  

When Nicole and Jeremy arrive upstairs, a bunch of revenants come bursting in totally high on the serum..  A fight ensues with Wynonna having a few good one liners as she shoots them back to hell.  "This is a memorial dipshit.  Did you even bother to bring a casserole?"   When there is a small lull in the fight, she quickly calls Doc, but gets Waverly.  They are on an errand Waverly explains and will be back real soon.  "In the middle of a wake?" Wynonna asks.  She goes on to explain what is going on there and for them to get the hell back to the bar ASAP.

Doc and Waverly arrive at the house.  Waverly asks who this woman is, even though she suspects who it might be.  "My wife." Doc says simply.  "Is there anyone in this town without a secret wife?"  Waverly asks.

Inside, Kate is waiting for them.  Waverly gives her a talking to and Kate turns over a card and it is the angel card, but it is upside down.  Waverly says something to Doc about Kate being such a.....and Kate gets offended.  Waverly just threatens her with a stake.  She wants her purse back.  Kate gives it back and Waverly makes sure the envelope wasn't open.  Waverly points out that if they are to exist together in this town, they all need to learn to live together in it and leaves.  Kate stands next to Doc and says she sees why he likes the little one.  A lot like Wyatt, full of spirit.  Doc says, that Waverly isn't even an Earp and walks out,

 Kate picks up the angel card and says "She is something alright."

Wynonna has a quick conversation with Nicole who gives her some tough love.  The grief is not only for her to bear and the wake isn't for her either.  They all loved Dolls and they all can grieve for him.  Wynonna says she told Jeremy to pack his stuff and leave and Nicole tells her she had better go stop him.  

Wynonna gets to the station to find that Quinn has Jeremy tied up to a chair and is "doing bad things with [Jeremy's] best stapler".  He knows that Jeremy can synthesize the serum and wants it.  Jeremy of course is trying to tell him that is the problem.  It was stolen and even if he did make the same stuff, obviously it didn't work.  Of course, he gets hit with the butt of the gun.  Quinn says that he didn't do the experimentation, but he did help in other ways and he is pissed at Black Badge and wants to take the serum and storm the headquarters.  Jeremy is Black Badge, so in his eyes, shouldn't be trusted. 

She slowly puts her gun down (with the whiskey bottle of course). Wynonna says she trusts him and goes on to tell Quinn that he really shouldn't do what he is thinking of doing.  Being that angry and retaliating will not bring Dolls back.  Everyone, including herself, has had to deal with the death of loved ones, sometimes in horrible ways. It is how they choose to deal and mourn the death of those loved ones and it is their burden to carry throughout time.  Besides, she says, Dolls would not want any of them, including Quinn to do this.  Quinn hands Wynonna his gun. Later, he leaves on the bus and Wynonna hands him the dog tags and tells him that he had better not be seen back here or she will come after him.

A little later, Wynonna finds Jeremy at the morgue and he nervously replies that he is relieving Nedley to watch over the body.  They kind of talk and make up and Wynonna says that Dolls' body can never be used for currency.....ever.  There has only been one option.  Jeremy agrees.

The next scene is probably the saddest.  There is only a sad song playing about "going home" and Wynonna brings the ashes of Dolls in a wooden box up the hill.  The others are waiting at the grave.  She gently puts it in the grave and then everyone adds something.  Waverly adds a scarf, Nicole adds his credentials and badge, Doc adds that fine bottle of whiskey, and Jeremy adds Dolls' favorite mug. 

The last is Wynonna who puts the necklace she has worn forever not in the grave, but hangs it on the tombstone. 

They all stand, some hugging, silently and mourn their friend Xavier Dolls.

Later at night, Waverly and Wynonna are sitting outside in the cold all bundled with blankets around the fire.  They talk of what their plans might be when they die.  Waverly tells Wynonna that she found out that there is no plot for her with the family.  Wynonna waves it off and says that is fine, she wouldn't want to be buried there anyway, because the view sucks.  It is a view of the high school and who wants to see that.  Wynonna says that in 80 years or so she and Waverly can be buried right there on the homestead anyway.  She has always watched out for her little sister and Waverly is stuck with her forever.  That is fine by Waverly.  When Wynonna says that Nicole can be buried with them too, Waverly tells her about Nicole's vulture idea.  Oookaay.  

Waverly hands Wynonna the envelope from Dolls.  When she opens it there is a big picture of all of them at a restaurant at a table with Dolls taking the selfie so he is in the foreground.  Waverly says she remembers that night, but what does it mean?  "Keep going.  Keep fighting."  Wynonna says as she looks at a smaller black and white photo that was also in there.  One of just her, that must have been Dolls' personal photo he kept of Wynonna.  He wants them to LIVE.

The episode could have ended there and I would have been happy, but no.

Doc returns to the Gardner house to see Kate.  She is sitting by the fireplace playing around with her tarot cards again.  "Is there nothing you would do to get under my skin?" Doc asks her when he comes in.  "You keep pushing me away.  You gave me no choice." she replies.  "He (Wyatt) also never stopped looking for you. Spent thousands. Hired trackers. Ultimately, it broke his heart." she adds.  Doc says he thought he had a full life and died in Hollywood as a stunt rider.  Kate says that is true, but when she had learned Doc was gone, it nearly.......but when Wyatt told her before he died that Doc was still alive, she knew what she had to do.  "And what is that?"  Doc asks as he removes his gun belt.  Kate comes up to him, removes his hat and says anything she has to. "No teeth, Kate." Doc says to her, finally giving her what she wanted, for him to say her name.  I am both mad and confused at the same time.  What the hell is Doc playing at.  Does he still love his wife (who btw in REAL LIFE they were notorious for their loud and sometimes violent fights) and is going to screw over Wynonna's feelings, or is he playing both sides of the fence?  UGH.

Overall, a very satisfying albeit sad episode.  We didn't want to lose a main character, but if you watch enough of these supernatural shows, a character we love tends to sacrifice themselves to save others and we have to say goodbye.    Goodbye Dolls.  We loved you too.