#you usually have to be a bishop first to become one but it hasn't always been strictly mandatory there's lots of rules and exceptions

[canisalbus]

Almost forgot to look at the tags in that Giordano post, I'm glad that Cardinals being higher than Archbishops was something you mentioned, and that I was remem that fact correctly :). And I love that Machete surpasses someone who thought him to be a "good for nothing". Go white boy go!

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[countlessrealities]

Saying that Rick feels like he's going crazy would be a gross understatement. It's been at least three days since the last time he has slept and, while it's not a first and not the worst he has done, it's starting to show. His hair are messier than the usual, the bags under his much much darker and more pronounced. His usually perfectly in order uniform is all creased, the jacket half-open and trousers half out of his boots.

Most of his duties on Citadel territory are usually routine. Aside from the rare dumbass who decides to create a mess to make a statement, it's always the same old routine. Patrol, paperwork, collect lost Mortys, deal with the newest shit on the black market, and so on. Sure, there are times when things got thorny, especially if the events took place in Mortytown or one of the other bad neighbours, but even those occasions have become rarer and rarer after the start of their current president's rise to power.

People can rumour whatever they want about how quickly things have started to change in the city-state, but what SR bases his opinions on are the results. And no one has gotten as many and as good ones as President Morty.

Considering all that, the case he's been handling is an anomaly. It definitely isn't every day that someone succeeds in causing so many problems without leaving behind tangible clues. Or, at least, that he knows of. It's pretty obvious that he hasn't been given all the information and, despite how frustrating it is, he hasn't dared to ask. If his superior has chosen to keep him in the dark about it, it's not his place to question them.

...Never mind that their silence is the cause of his current stress and, especially, inner struggle.

Bishop's voice catches Rick fully off guard and SR finds himself visibly starting, slapping his hand down on the virtual keyboard to close the file he was reviewing. It's more out of habit than because he doesn't trust the other or wants to hide what he has been doing.

"S-Shit, what...Bishop! W-What the heck are you..." He starts saying, but he quickly cuts himself off, realising that the Utrom has already told him. "Uh, I-I mean, sorry, it's...nice to see you."

Under other circumstances, he might have gotten suspicious at that clichéd "I was in the neighbour" excuse, but his mind is too occupied with the case for him to do anything but brushing the oddness off.

"A-Actually you and not the Norman," he continues, clearing his throat uneasily. "N-Not that there's something wrong with the Norman! J-Just, I...I didn't think you'd listen t-to...what I said back when...you know."

He needs to calm the fuck down, even if it's not easy. Not just because he is all wired up, but also because of what has happened the last time they had seen each other in person.

"B-But yeah, I'm...struggling a little here. It's...T-There's something I could use your opinion on." Why is talking shop so much easier? He wishes that he could do the same when they are just chatting. "H-Have you ever found yourself in the, uh, uncomfortable position o-of having to break the rules to get a task properly done? Y-You know, going against the system to...solve a problem that's damaging it?"

{ @technodromes }

[♗]   Bishop gets told a lot that he should take time off to 'relax' between all the workload. However, he is mostly unfamiliar with that concept and doesn't think he needs 'extra time to relax'. On the other hand, he would lie if he didn't feel a strange desire to actually hug SR several days back when the latter behaved rather strangely. Maybe that's what his friends were talking about? Maybe they are not so wrong after all and he does need a little extra time. And with that, the thought occurs to the Utrom that he could invite SR to have lunch together with him at the Citadel. Because he still feels bad for making SR uncomfortable several days ago (even though it was the logically right decision to do so). He even went to prepare (gluten-free) sandwiches himself. Actually, they have the same amount of fillings and are all neatly cut and stacked with way too much precision.

The basket is sitting inside his flyer as he arrives at the Citadel, this time without his Norman body. It feels weird to be out like this. He knows it's no big deal at the Citadel and that he can trust SR, but he still feels extremely vulnerable anyway. He barely goes anywhere without constantly checking his surroundings first. The flyer comes with a translator too, so communication will be no problem at least. It still takes him a moment to actually find 'his' Rick in the endless amount of Ricks everywhere. And as he actually finds him?

Well, it appears SR is still immersed with the important task that he received several days ago. Something that turned out to go far deeper than expected at first. But what catches Bishop's attention the most as he actually manages to catch a short glimpse of what would be strictly confidential actually, he is very quick to make sure his body covers the basket under him entirely to actually hide it.

"I am sorry for intruding in like this", uninvited and all that. "I just so happened to be nearby the Citadel and— when I decided to visit, I heard you are very busy with a big case. I would like to take up the opportunity and offer you a tentacle with these ongoing investigations."

[halogalopaghost]

TMNT Fic Masterlist

listed by order they were posted, newest fics first

Warmth (Splinter Week 2025)

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

As Splinter nears his final days, Raphael wonders, did he ever regret choosing the life of a single father?

Joint Problems

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

At the tender age of not-quite-thirty, Leonardo is diagnosed with chronic pain in many of his joints. Michelangelo is no stranger to joint pain, and he's got a solution Leo never would have considered.

Humanity Restored

read on AO3

After being purchased at auction, the turtles are transported to the laboratory of their new owner—Tony Stark. This is a continuation of another fic titled "Nothing more than Specimen"

Meditation (Splinter Week 2024)

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Bound and tortured for days without food or water, the only thing on Splinter's mind is reaching his sons. When he connects with Raphael, he witnesses firsthand the kind of blow his family has been dealt.

Shroud

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Raphael is sure that it's his fault that Casey died. April might not be able to convince him otherwise.

Dogs Can't Have Chocolate, April

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

While April is sheltering the turtles in season one, she invites them to help themselves to her fridge. With fresh food in such abundance, they can hardly help themselves, and April gets so caught up in the joy of sharing with them that she forgets to ask—do they have any allergies?

(Don't You Worry Bout) Bad Dreams

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Raphael has nightmares too. He's just better at hiding them, and far worse at talking about it.

Giant Problem

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Leo thinks he's the last one awake late one night—until Donnie comes knocking, mysteriously upset about…something?

Skin

read on AO3

Raphael has always felt distinctly other from his siblings. As he gets older the gap grows wider, and there's only so much he can take before he cracks. (Longfic)

Not Alone

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Leatherhead, struggling with anger and a loss of control after his imprisonment under Bishop, tries to push the turtles away for their own good. Raphael, who's been there before, isn't about to let him. Post-episode: s03eo8, Hunted

Goody Two Toes

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

CrownedCrowRow's Papadile and Croctots AU: When Leatherhead goes out to restock the pantry and doesn't come home, his sons start to panic.

Kodak Moment

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

When April learns that Splinter has no family photos, she's quick to change that. If only she knew how precious those photos would become to her.

M.I.L.C.

WARNING: MUTANT MAYHEM SPOILERS

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

The turtles have been captured and wake up hurt, scared, and attached to a strange machine. The worst part is that they aren't alone.

Oh Shoot

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Out for a late night run, Leonardo happens upon a squadron of Foot ninja and brings home a souvenir: an arrow buried in the back of his leg. Instead of waking someone up to help him with the awkwardly-placed wound, Leo decides to take care of it by himself. What's a little self-surgery in the early hours of the morning?

Occam's Bedtime

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Agent Bishop knew entirely too much about the turtles for someone who had not previously met them, and Donatello wants to know how. The simplest answer is usually the correct one, and Donnie thinks he's found it. The only problem is that it's the middle of the night, and he still hasn't slept since escaping from that underground lab.

Train Wreck of Thought

read on AO3

Mikey thinks it's super unfair that he should have to meditate even after he discovers that he has ADD. His sensei, unfortunately, thinks otherwise. He's given an assignment to experiment and apply his creativity to meditation until he figures it out. And when he does figure it out, naturally, he causes a whole slew of trouble. (Longfic)

Maternal Instincts

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Raphael has promised to help Mrs. Morrison move some furniture, and the fact that he got his shell kicked the night before is irrelevant as far as he's concerned. Leo has a little something to say about it, but brothers are easily brushed off. A maternal figure like Mrs. Morrison, on the other hand, commands a bit more respect.

Robes

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Splinter has been wearing the same kimono for eighteen years. It's survived rain, fire, flood, and turtle teething, but all good clothes must come to an end. When he tears the sleeve of his kimono wide open, he must confront the reality that the garment must be retired. His sons, however, have other ideas.

The Height of Comedy

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

During a weekend getaway at the Jones family farm, the turtles (and Casey) get into a friendly spat around the kitchen table that makes Leo feel a little self-conscious.

Near-Sighted

read on AO3 | podfic on AO3 | read on tumblr

Raphael has a dark, terrible secret from his friends: he needs glasses to read. Casey catches him wearing them, then doesn't come around for an entire week, leaving Raphael to struggle to understand. Casey isn't so shallow to stop being friends with him for being a little bit of a nerd...is he?

Spilt Milk

read on AO3 | read on tumblr (with post and art that inspired it)

Based off of a headcanon from AmevelloBlue and art from Holographicmars: Leo isn't always the oldest brother. Sometimes he just can't be—and when he needs a big brother, someone to lean on, Mikey is there for him.

Bag o' Tricks

read on AO3

Donnie carries a big canvas duffel bag, and like Mary Poppins' carpet bag, it always seems to have just what he needs. Pigeon puppet? Check. Explosives? Check. But what other wonders does his bag contain, and exactly how many times has it gotten him out of trouble? A series of one-shots answering that very question.

The Long Sleep

read on AO3 | read part 1 on tumblr

Every year, Splinter watches his sons grow lethargic as the weather turns cold. They fall asleep one by one, not to wake again until spring. But as the turtles enter their fourth Long Sleep, Raphael...never gets sleepy. Splinter must quickly learn how to help his son through this transition that he doesn't understand, and even harder—he must learn to entertain a lone four year old.

Anger and Management

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Sending Leo away to Japan is harder than Raph expected it to be, and it brings up some questions regarding what Splinter has done to help Raphael with his anger issues. Mikey does what he can to comfort his brother in all the turmoil.

The Afterward

read on AO3

Donnie's family have managed to get a cure for his double-mutation brought on by Bishop's outbreak virus, but he isn't out of the woods yet. The detransformation process is stalling, and now it's all the boys can do to keep Donatello alive long enough to figure out why. (Longfic)

One, Two, Three, Four (Turtles)

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Most animals establish within their communities a sort of pecking order—an established hierarchy of which individual is most in charge, and which is the least. Among wolf packs, this leader is called the alpha. Among brothers, he is simply the eldest. With four turtles of indeterminate ages, Splinter makes an executive decision or four.

Curiosity Killed The Cat (But Raphael Brought It Back)

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Raphael keeps disappearing on a schedule. Everyone has their theories on where he is—Mikey thinks it's a girl, Leo thinks he and Casey must have gotten into something, and Donnie thinks it's none of their business. When they tail him one night (out of concern, of course, and not burning curiosity), they're unprepared to learn the truth of his routine absences.

Turtle Power

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Seeing Shredder's four-armed robotic body in Exodus sends Donnie reeling right before the toughest battle he's ever fought. It feels like everything is going wrong in slow motion up until the power core overloads--and then time stops altogether.

Quiet Times

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Now with ADORABLE art!!

While Splinter is trying to steal a moment of peace one afternoon, Michelangelo takes advantage of his distracted brothers and steals a moment of alone time with his father.

Tattooed

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

What if the marks that the Triceratons put on the turtles' skin had been permanent? A little conversation between brothers regarding tattoos, accomplishment, and whether or not it's allowed to attack oneself for science.

Things Left Unsaid

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

While working on the Turtle Tunneller to get ready for their final showdown with The Shredder, Leo approaches Donnie with something to say. Set during the episode Same As It Never Was, future!Leo talking with Donatello.

Doctor On Call

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Four times that Donnie has to play doctor for his family, and one where they have to doctor him.

As It Never Will Be

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

The first thing Donatello does when they're returned to their lair, only minutes after the Ultimate Draco scattered them to the far-flung corners of the multiverse, is sit down and have a panic attack. His brothers try to reach him in the coming days, but in the end, it's only Mikey who is able to break the seal.

Killer

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Mikey and Raph compete to see who can one-hit KO more Foot ninja in one battle. Leo and Donnie are just glad that one of their brothers' wagers is working out in their favor—until Mikey's scream rings out across the rooftops.

Blame It On The ADD Babey

read on AO3 | read on tumblr

Donatello gets worried when he sees Mikey on the WebDoc page, and after his brother's blessing, decides to finish Mikey's medical research for him. This ends...well.

-

If you like my fics, consider donating to my ko-fi page! I am dynamically disabled and unemployed, so it's much appreciated <3 Note: do NOT donate if you are under 21 or financially unable.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

two at a time.

PART 1.

© @sonsofeorl

EZ REYES x female!reader x BISHOP LOSA.

MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ words: about 2k.

❝ warnings: nsfw, threesome, dirty as fuck, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex, double penetration, language, swearing, praise kink, slight degradation, mention of bodily fluids and i dont know what else.

❝ a / n: i'm not sorry for this. i started this shot a couple of months ago and forget about it. thanks to my lovely wife @mayans-sauce for throwing more gasoline to my fire. it has no plot and maybe it's poor in details, but i didn't want to make it longer than it is already. as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

“I don' know what you heard, but you're wrong. And I'm not gonna do it”.

Outside, you look pretty calm, but inside you're freaking out. EZ is sitting over the table of the trailer, while Bishop is some steps away from you, resting his back against the fridge.

“Listen, this is not like… you are cheating me, baby. You dreamed about it, and I wanna please you. That's all”. Your boyfriend says, with both hands placed on the lapels of his kutte.

“Com'ere, querida”.

Bishop offers you a hand. You look at it with curiosity, before traveling your gaze again to the younger man putting down off the table. Gulping and licking your incisors, you take his hand, and before you can be aware of what they're thinking in you find yourself between both. El Presidente kisses you slowly, enjoying it, taking his time; while EZ bites your neck with his fingers clung to your hips. You can feel how hard they are, not noticing it before because you were too busy fighting against your desires.

Bishop moves his hands to your breasts, squeezing them while keeping his lustful eyes on yours, watching you silently moan. This feels much better than in your dreams —much better than you could imagine. While the older one takes care of your nipples, EZ rolls down your panties through your thighs, before removing the other piece of clothing to leave you exposed for their own pleasure.

“Sweetheart… you're a fucking goddess”. Bishop praises you using that charming smile he has to make your legs tremble. “Tell us what you need. Use that beautiful mouth of yours”.

“I wa— wan—”.

“Tell us what you need”. Your boyfriend grunts keen, gripping one of his huge hands on your throat from behind, pressing you among their bodies.

“I need you to… fuck me”. You whine starting to lose your mind when EZ urges you to open your legs for them. “At… At once”.

Their husky laughs burn your cheeks in shame.

“You heard that, prospect? This little filthy whore wants our dicks at the same time”.

“You think you can take us both?” There's no doubt in his voice, kissing the sweet spot under your ear while taking your right hand and bringing it to the rock under Bishop's rough dark jeans. “You want his dick in your sweet tight pussy, baby girl? Ask him”.

God, if they continue talking to you like that you're going to cum without needing to be pounded. You can't help but stroke his hard bulge watching immediately the struggles you are causing him to breathe.

“Can I… first blow your cock, Presidente?” You inquire with a honeyed low tone of voice, starting to lose your shame.

“We don't have time for games now, querida. So, show me what you have for me”. He denies, demanding what he has been craving since he put a step inside the trailer.

You swallow touring down his abdomen to the belt, undoing it with trembling fingers because of your nervousness, hearing EZ behind you maneuver and dealing with his own clothes. You can't believe he has been given a threesome, to let another man fucks you only to make your fantasies come true.

“You go first, brother”. Bishop utters, referring to the need of your wetness as natural lube.

El Presidente snakes an arm between your legs to raise it and find a comfortable posture and more space for your boyfriend to slam his dick inside your cunt. You scream out, having to put your hands on the older's shoulders to find balance. EZ growls into your ear as he keeps eye contact with his boss, just like you're trying to do, overwhelmed by the pleasure. He flexes down his knees, not enough to pull his cock out of you, to thrust you with all his strengths again.

“Oh, fuck”. You cry inevitably.

“My prospect makes you feel good, ah?”

“Yes… Yes, Presidente. He fucks me so good”. You nod with your head as you can, complaining this time when you feel empty.

“Now it's my turn”.

His voice is rougher, throatily, giving you goosebumps all around. Bishop uses his free hand to guide his hard length to your folds, stroking his mushroom head to collect your arousal before taking a step forward. Unlike your boyfriend, he wants to feel you adjusting to his dick, pushing it inside your soaked pussy slowly. He can't help but wail with parted lips noticing how tight and warm she is.

“Speak to us, mi reina”. EZ murmurs, as he continues pumping himself and spreading your juices from his glans to his base.

“Baby… Baby, he's so thick”. You gasp closing your eyes and resting your head against your boyfriend's shoulder. “Fuck… please, put your dick inside me too… I need you”.

Before you can react, the two men work together to spread your buttocks so he can fulfill your request made between cried begs. Hearing him spit in his fingers, your boyfriend brings them to your tightest hole, sliding them in slowly —tortuously slow. He has to prepare you even if it's not your first rodeo, and you know it. EZ fingers your ass, feeling a slight pain that Bishop erases from your mind by occupying it with a filthy kiss. The older devours your lips, drinks your moans, dominates your tongue, and tastes your saliva. All in the same dirty gesture that pushes you over limits.

And it doesn't take your boyfriend even a second to pull out his fingers and start to bury his cock in your ass. Your eyes become crystal when you feel filled than ever in your life. They both let you some seconds to fit your walls, clenching around their lengths reaching your guts.

“Fuck”. You sob against Bishop's lips, suffocated by EZ's hand again around your throat. “Ple— Please… Please… move”.

That's the kick-off for the Mayans. And you don't need to be the smartest person in the world to know they're not going to have any mercy. They are going to ruin you.

El Presidente and his prospect pound your holes at sync. Hurry, hard, desperate. They're like two lions in heat marking their territory and competing to earn your moans crying their names. You can't even form a proper sentence, being a mess of whinings and whimpers. It doesn't hurt as you thought, quite the opposite, even if the posture isn't your favorite. You'd give your life right now to ride them at the same time, thanking them for fucking you till making you pass out.

“Such a good girl…” Bishop praises you licking your lips with the tip of his tongue, as his pace becomes rashly.

“Taking our dicks… Taking us so fucking good, mi amor”. EZ has his head tossed back and his hands nailed on your hips, digging his whole length in your ass, while his boss continues pounding forcefully your cunt.

Your mind is blank, your eyes are rolled to the back of your head, forgetting for a moment where you are and what's happening. They both feel so good inside you that you can't even breathe. Your boyfriend paws your abdomen straight to your breasts to squeeze them and pull your nipples, offering them to Bishop to bite them. And he does it, not doubting. His teeth take one at a time, enough to leave some marks there as you tilt your face to the younger looking for his lips. He kisses them hungry for you, tucking his tongue inside your mouth to invade it completely.

The thrusts don't decline on pace, still being quick and strong, hitting your g-spot any time Bishop forces you down when he goes inside your cunt.

“Fuck, preciosa… who could say you're so naughty with that… innocent look, ah?” The older growls against your exposed neck for him and his desire to leave more marks on your skin, so you don't forget that they have fucked you because you're such a needed hoe for them.

“You've no idea, Prez”. EZ babbles, tucking two fingers between your lips to show him how good you are using your tongue, twirling it around them maintaining the older's dark gaze with yours.

And you are ashamed because of the fact that you can't last longer than usual, being too much for you to have them both balls-deep in your little holes. You're going to come in any moment and they know by your lack of air and the way your legs start to tremble like a pudding in the middle of an earthquake.

“Don't you fucking dare to cum without asking for permission”. EZ demands you, tangling a hand on your hair to push your head a little more back and nail his dark furious orbs on yours.

You cry just at the thought of not being capable of talking, while he forces you to face his boss, expecting your words impatiently.

“Please, Presidente… lemme cum… I ne— I need to cum… please”.

You're literally crying, trying to hold back your orgasm as much as you can.

“Not this time”. He just replies. And he has spoken.

You can't believe he's not going to let you cum, complaining with grunts when he pulls his dick out of you, just like your boyfriend does. You can't believe EZ is going to deny you too what you need the most.

“Put on your knees. Right now”.

You obey in silence, cleaning your tears as you go down watching both men placing themselves in front of you. Bishop's dick is thicker than your boyfriend's and somewhat longer. But the veins popping up in EZ's dick are much better when he twitches inside you, or when you suck his soul out of his body. You love that texture in your mouth.

“Stick your tongue”. The younger orders, gripping his length to jerk off himself imitating his boss who hasn't waited to do it.

And you obey, hoping they will make you cum after they do like a reward for being a good girl to them. With it showing, Bishop and EZ speed up the moves of his wrist, pumping both cocks resting on the tip of your tongue. Their vocals become louder filling the trailer and not caring if someone can hear them, sitting on your heels.

Your boyfriend is the first on spilling his warm ropes straight to your mouth, making Bishop say something about a bet in a whisper that you can't really listen to —understanding the meaning seeing EZ take a step back to give his boss more space. El Presidente places both hands on your head, urging you to swallow the cum down your throat to suck his dick. And you do it delighted, being craving it since some minutes ago when he denied it to you.

Anxious, you close your lips around his length tasting your own juices there and you bob your head as if your life depended on it, placing your hands on his lower back and your eyes on EZ's. He doesn't seem bothered or disappointed, he seems more like glad watching you blowing Bishop's cock like the sweetest lollipop you have ever taken. And the older can't hold it anymore forcing your throat and filling your mouth completely, as he presses your nose to his pelvis causing you to choke on his delicious cum —gagging and coughing.

“Fuck my life, (Y/N)!” He yells in a howl, making you look at him with your orbs covered in tears because of the effort, watching how his seed falls through the curves of your abused lips straight to your breathless chest. “Take it… Take it a little more, niña…”

Trying to bring some air to your lungs through your nostrils, he has to loosen his tight, strong grip on your hair when you can't continue. Your coughs rip off your throat, cleaning your mouth with your fingers before sucking them clean under their attentive pleased gazes.

Bishop helps you to stand up on your still shaky legs, leaning on your ear and snaking a hand between them and caress your heated core. “I will come back tonight. Put you on four. Fuck that sweet little pussy while the prospect looks. And I'm gonna make you cum harder than he has ever done. You hear me?”

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @Jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221 @littlekittymeow

MAYANS MC: @multiyfandomgirl40 @countryash345 @skyofficialxx @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo @bellisperennis0 @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @purrrrfect @witching-hour @leathercladmenfics @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @queenbeered @sesamepancakes @gemini0410 @pinguinstudiert @oscars-wifeyyy @meteora-fc @lozaa94 @arveeee @joupym @hanster1998 @missswritings @arana-alpha @lucillewinchester @theocatkov @telfordlowman @fanofalltheficsx