#you're allowed to feel empathy for a character afterall

[so-many-fandoms-here]

hi! idk if youre taking requests atm so in case u don’t, feel free to ignore this :-) anyways, i’ve been obsessed with the way you write and i was wondering if you could write something with niragi, inspired by house of balloons by the weeknd!! i think his character kinda suits the lyrics so i thought that could be fun!! it can be anything rlly, smut, angst or just anything :-) tysm and have a good good day!!! 🫶🫶🫶

Heyy :)) This is my first request since quite a while so I'm actually pretty excited right now :D Thank you so much <3

I listened to the song a few times beforehand and you're right, it really suits Niragi.

I took a lot inspiration from these verses:

You look into my eyes You can't recognize my face You're in my world now

So just don't blame it on me, girl 'Cause you wanted to have fun

Oh this is fun fun (...) This is fun to me

—

(English isn’t my first language so feel free to correct any mistake you notice)

• Characters: Suguru Niragi, fem!Reader

• Genre: Angst

• Warnings: abuse, bullying

Remember

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:

I have no idea how I was able to survive so long without anyone by my side. I lived like a stray dog for weeks until I met these really nice guys (who probably just wanted to fuck me). They had a fucking car and told me about this place.

The Beach. That's how they called it. It used to be a resort back in the real world. Some crazy guy, Hatter, found it and created some cult-like society. I didn't had the best gut feeling but anything was better than my current situation. So I let them touch my tits a few times and in return they took me with them.

The Beach was a way bigger deal than I thought. Dozens of players lived here and there was food, water and electricity. This place was actually alive.

Yes, it still was a weird cult-like place, but a safe place afterall. I was just supposed to bring the cards I own to Hatter (they didn't exaggerate, this man was definetly some kind of crazy) and had to wear swimwear so I couldn't hide any weapons on my body, which actually made sense to me.

The guys that brought me here explained a bit more to me. At first I didn't want to listen, but when they mentioned the militants I started to pay attention. Because they where allowed to carry weapons with them.

I didn't really care about anything else they had to say about them.

They where allowed to carry weapons with them!

Call me paranoid but I would feel so much more safe around here if I had a gun or something. These people might be in the same boat with me but everyone would safe themselves first from drowning. Me too.

They wanted to survive. I wanted to survive. And in the time I was here I lost a lot of my empathy because it would get me killed in the blink of an eye.

"Who is the leader of those executives?", I ask, swirling my (h/c) hair around my right index finger while putting on my best doggy eyes.

They looked at me like I was just as crazy as Hatter but after a few seconds of hesitation they answered anyways. "Aguni. Really short hair, scar on his face. It doesn't matter though, you instantly feel that he is the leader, when you are around him."

I took note of the facts about his appearence anyways, just in case.

"He is never alone though. His comrades are like flies, pretty sure this man doesn't even shit alone." I ignored his comment and was already looking around.

"Imma head to my room guys", I said without looking at the men. "I'm tired." They either didn't caught my lie, or they simply didn't care. They just nodded and let me head off.

I was of course not going to my room. I was way too curious about this Aguni. The things I would do for a stupid gun...

The sun was long gone when I saw him. The boys where right, he had this aura that basically screamed at you. And as expected, he wasn't alone.

For a second my confidence began to fade. Did I really want to talk to this guy? Would that be as smart as I thought? But I caught myself quickly again. I would die one way or another, where is the difference if it's through a game or his hands?

After I took a deep breath I stood up from my chair I had sit on and walked straight up to him. People stared, some whispered but I ignored them.

"Are you Aguni?" I ask him when I arrived in front of him but before he could even think of an answer another man slipped around him and build himself up in front of me. A big gun rested on his shoulder and the amused look in his dark eyes showed that he wasn't afraid to use it.

But there was something else in his eyes. Something so familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Maybe we went to school together? That wasn't so unlikely based on how many people were here.

"Do you really think our boss has time for a stupid chick like you?", he asked while he grinned like an idiot. A hand placed itself on his shoulder and shoved him to the side. "Niragi." A voice scolded him.

The name didn't ring a bell. I probably saw him around school sometimes. Based on how he acted here he probably was one of those bullies in school that degraded literally anyone. You didn't even need to look or act different, sometimes you where just at the wrong place at the wrong time and your school year was literally over.

"Let her talk", the voice appeared again. Agunis voice.

I tried to make myself taller than I was and tried so desperatly to look brave, that I probably looked like a fool. "I want to join the militants."

I held my breath while biting my tongue. I really didn't know what to expect. Maybe he would kill me right on the spot? Or maybe not. I didn't know which one I would prefer.

He tilted his head and eyed me from head to toe. "It's not that easy." "I don't care!", I interrupted him and felt the heat spreading into my face immediatly after I spoke.

There was silence for a short while and I was absolutely sure that someone would kill me on the spot, but then he laughed quietly which scared me even more. "Or maybe it is that easy after all", he said eventually.

I felt the burning eyes of his subordinants and for a second I thought I would throw up on Agunis feet. "I like you. You're in."

I didn't know what just happened. It was so much yet nothing. All it took was for me to interrupt the leader? This had to be a trap, right?

"Nobody dared to talk to me like that since I came here", Aguni explained. "Don't think I would tolerate it, I don't, but at least you're somewhat reckless. If you're reckless in other aspects too, this could work." His hand dissapeared in the pocket of his jeans and came back out with a pair of keys which he handed Niragi. "Show her the guns."

Niragi looked far from happy about this order. "Why me?", he asked rather irritated. Aguni looked him dead in the eyes. "'Cuz you're my right hand. And you do what I say."

It looked like Niragi wanted to say something but bit his tongue. Instead he turned around and stormed off. Without saying a word I followed him, now even more scared than I was before.

Niragi walked quick and with big steps he crossed the halls of The Beach. At a heavy door he stopped and turned around to wait for me. "Hurry up!", he yelled annoyed while waiting for me. Slightly out of breath I stopped next to him and looked while he opened the door which revealed a rather dark stairwell that only lead down. "It's downstairs", he explained before starting to walk again.

I tried my best to stay beside him while we walked down where I supposed was the basement. Here were probably the generators and all that kind of stuff.

We crossed another long hallway until he stopped at the last door on the right side. Then he used the key to unlock the door and before I could process everything properly I found myself between dozens of weapons and guns.

Niragi pushed me inside and quickly closed the door behind him. Then he locked it and turned around to look me in the eyes. Fear crawled up my throat and my heart started to beat faster than it ever did in my whole life.

"Long time no see (Y/n)", he said. The keys dissapeared into his pockets so I had no chance to get them. Confusion mixed with my fear. "You know my name?"

His smile appeared back on his face for a second but then faded again. "How could I forget?"

My confusion grew while I desperatly tried to remember from where I could possibly know him.

"Come on", he cooed while he looked at me with expectant eyes. "Don't you remember?" He raised his free hand, made a circle with his thumb and index finger and held it in front of his eye, mimicking glasses, while tilting his head to the side. Then he pushed his lower lip slightly in front of his upper lip, frowning exaggerated.

It hit me with such force that I felt nauseous again. The sad face he put was badly played, but I could see it anyways. I saw the boy with the glasses in front of me, crying while my brother swung the baseball bat. "There it is", Niragi whispered. "The recognicion."

All those years I tried my best to forget these eyes. And I did. But now it seemed like this was a huge mistake.

„When I saw you upstairs my stomach dropped. I thought one of us would die when Aguni said I should show you the guns. The thought of all the feelings you could bring up again did something to me but I must admit that it’s rather pleasant to be alone with you.“

I stumbled back, tried to get more distance between us but Niragi instantly closed the distance again by taking the same amount of steps in my direction I took to get away from him. Not because I was scared, not only, but because I was emberrassed.

"How's your brother?" My eyes locked with his. As I looked longer into them I see how broken they are. Just like back then, but still different somehow. The eyes that looked into my direction, screaming for help, which I avoided like the plague because the guilt shook through me. The guilt that I didn’t dare to help him.

My brother made me look how they tortured him and for everytime I looked away, he would hit me when we got home. With his fist, with his belt or he would throw plates or glasses at me.

"I'm sorry", I whispered, tears stinging in my eyes. Again I avoided his eyes but I couldn't for long because his hand found my face and forced me to look at him.

"I remember your black eyes, the gross swelling shimmering a different color everyday", he whispered and I felt his breath on my face. "Blue, violet, yellow, like a violent, ugly rainbow."

Niragis eyes studied my face, stopping at the scar over my eyebrow. I knew he looked at it because I it suddenly started to throb just like the day I got it.

"That was for when I didn't threw the baseball at you", I answered before he could ask anything about it. It felt good to remind him, remind me, that I didn't want this to happen. When I refused to, he threw a mug at me. It broke it half when it landed on the floor, then he picked it up and threw it again. It cut into my skin leaving the about 2 inch long scar behind

"Where is he now?", he asked still inspecting my scar. I shrugged my shoulders. "I came here alone." I was scared that he might thought I was lying but he seemed to believe me, which made me relax a bit.

"He'd be surprised what his little games did to me. What I have become…" He let go of me but I still looked at him. "I always liked you, you know? You understood." I nodded. "I will kill him if I ever see him again." I nodded again. "And will make him suffer how I suffered." I nodded a third time while I took a glance at his pierced tongue. The pictures of the dirty needle my brother pushed through it popped up in my head again.

"I will find him and then we will play my game." Niragi walks up to one of the shelves and took a gun, rather small compared to his, then some ammo and handed it to me. "Our game."

I looked at the gun in his hand. It was my choice. If I take it I would make a pact with him. I hated my brother with all my heart but I was still hesitant. Is vigilantism the way? My way?

"It's your choice", Niragi reminded me. I took the gun. There is no justice in Borderland, so why not make it myself?

"I will make it my world", he said. "Where no one will look down on me ever again. On us."

His eyes practically burned into mine but I couldn't look away. My iris's where tied to his and I wondered if somewhere inside was still the Niragi I met in the past or if it destroyed him completly.