#you're mad at him for being a baptist???

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Half way through episode one of Interview With The Vampire and I can't get over the fact that the brother with the personality trait of "Catholic" is coming for his sister's fiance for being the wrong kind of christian when his pimp brother's vampire boyfriend is fully sitting across the table from him looking for an opportunity to give Louis the hickey ever.

[moralesmilesanhour]

mad props! 03

summary: you're now officially part of the theater club's latest production! just one small problem... wc: 1282 a/n: Can't believe I was able to type this out within the same week. But I diiiid! The songs being performed are: 'Popular' - Wicked 'Ohmigod You guys' - Legally Blonde: The Musical (Original Cast Recording) | Have fun reading ! Feel free to tell me what you thought in the comments <3 (only warning is that the process of putting a theatre production together is probably not super realistic here lmao) 02 03 04

“One five, four five, three five, two five, one five, four five, three-two-one,”

You clutched the white binder containing your sheet music to your chest as you went through every vocal exercise from middle school that you could remember.

From the diaphragm, you reminded yourself, taking another deep breath.

“One five,

Four five,

Three five,

Two five,

One five,

Four five,

Three-two-one–”

“Y/N L/N?” the casting director’s voice called out to you.

Your stomach lurched as you rose from your seat and approached the stage. You handed the sheet music over to the pianist. The blinding stage lights made you sweat beneath your uniform, but part of you was grateful that it hid the faces of your four-person audience. 

The first chord was your cue.

“Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I…”

You sang the lines through your nose, making your delivery as cartoonish as possible. It even earned a few laughs from the dark void in front of you that bolstered your confidence. 

Now, when playing a character such as Galinda, one may be tempted to keep the squeaky ‘princess voice’ the whole way through. But you knew better. 

You added depth to your voice for some lines, maybe a growl here, a cry there; your performance needed to show that you could do more than just play the pretty soprano lead.

You belted the final note, arms spread wide as if you weren’t just about to vomit from nerves, and curtsied.

There was disembodied applause, and then: “Thank you, we’ll be sure to send out an email on Friday to let you know if you got the part.”

“Thanks,” you exhaled as you stepped down from the stage. 

All that there was left to do was wait.

You were jumpy all Friday afternoon. Even Miles noticed your knee making your desks tremble with the way it bounced up and down in the middle of English class.

“Yo, you good?” he whispered.

You shot him a glare while tapping your pencil frantically. “None of your business.”

“It actually is my business,” he shot back, teeth clenched, “ ‘cuz you’re shaking the damn desk.”

“Is there a problem back there?” the English professor peered over his glasses at the two of you.

“Nope,” Miles sighed. “Not at all.”

Your leg stopped bouncing, and you rested your chin on top of folded hands.

“If you must know,” you muttered, “I had an audition the other day, and callbacks are supposed to be this evening.”

He furrowed his brows. “Oh…kay…?”

“What do you mean ‘okay’? I’m super nervous about it–”

“I mean, why are you telling me this?”

Your eyes widened. Why were you telling him this?

“I…well, you’re sitting next to me, and you asked–” 

“I didn’t ask for allat.”

You kissed your teeth, and went back to taking notes in silence.

-

“Oh, the principal’s gonna love that.”

Joshua Baptiste–current president of Visions’ art club–grinned as he watched Miles add his signature to the wide sheet of paper.

Miles replaced the cap on one of his paint markers with a click, assessing his work.

It was a poster for an upcoming pep rally, advertised in bold, sleek letters that curled in and around each other and ended in sharp arrows. Satisfied, he rose to his feet.

“You think?”

“Hell yeah. Better than anything I could’ve put together,” Joshua ran a hand through loose, sandy curls. “I’m more of a portraits kinda guy.”

The boy’s smile was contagious, showing off two rows of light blue braces. Miles remembered how he used to circle back around to his lunch table just to see them when he laughed with his friends, silver earrings tinkling as he threw his head back. 

He’d done crazier things just to see a crush.

Miles returned the compliment, “Your paintings go crazy, though. You could get into art school if you put a portfolio together.”

Joshua shrugged. “Doubt my parents would ever let me go.”

The other hummed in agreement.

“Anywho, I came over here to ask you a favor. Theater club needs an extra pair of hands working on the set, and I already said one of our guys would help out. You in?”

Miles raised an eyebrow at the sudden new project being dumped on him, but he relented. Not like he had anything better to do today.

“Sure. Where to?”

Joshua’s face lit up, and he gestured for Miles to follow him.

“They’re down in the auditorium. You’re a life-saver, man.”

The auditorium was already bustling with students when the two boys entered. There was one group on the far right busy customizing piles of hot-pink costumes with bows and sequins. On the left side, a bunch of kids clutched wrinkled scripts in their hands, practicing until it was time to run through the first few songs. Miles looked up, and taking center stage was a group of no more than ten girls practicing what looked like stage choreography. 

Regardless of what each group was working on, there was an urgency bordering on panic to their movements and voices. Miles thanked his past self for not signing up to be a part of it.

“Oh, thank god!”

A tall, stocky-looking girl wearing pink glasses scurried up to them, carrying a clipboard.

Joshua gestured towards Miles. “Here’s your guy! He’s got an eye for color, you’re in good hands.”

He gave a quick salute before turning to exit through the double doors.

The girl stuck out her hand. “I’m Sarah Park, junior, and student production manager for, uh, all of this!”

Miles accepted the handshake and nodded. “Cool. What’s your vision for the set?”

“Well, it’s…”

Before Sarah could finish, the lights dimmed, and a voice announced: “We’re gonna rehearse the opening, everyone in ‘Ohmigod You Guys’, please take your places!”

She grabbed Miles’ wrist and led him to a seat in the front row and whispered, “You should probably just see it.”

Suddenly, music boomed from the speakers as the stage lights illuminated the same girls from before, now all standing in a straight line across the stage with wide smiles.

They sang a number he didn’t recognize, but there was plenty of squealing as they passed down a blank sheet of paper as a prop. He deduced from the few lyrics he caught that they were playing sorority girls, but that was about it.

As the “Ohmigods” crescendoed, Miles noticed that there was someone entering from backstage that then stood behind the girls. He wondered what for, until the group parted and stepped to the side.

Nothing could’ve prepared him for who stood in the middle of the stage. In a blonde wig.

“It’s almost there, but…”

Miles’ jaw dropped as you recited your lines fully in-character. 

It hadn’t occurred to him that you could smile without malice, but people were full of surprises: Here was the girl who rarely spoke more than a sentence in class until last week, belting her heart out while twirling across the stage. He would have pinned you as more of the debater type.

The song ended on one final “Oh my god!” in unison before the lights were turned back up.

“Great job, everyone, especially for a first run-through. Everybody take five!”

You sighed in relief, wiping away the sweat collecting around your hairline from being beneath a hot wig and an even hotter spotlight. Wig in hand, you carefully descended down the steps with the rest of the cast and made your way back to your seats.

Sarah brushed past you in between aisles, along with a familiar red hoodie.

You paused and spun around on your heel, confirming your fears. 

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

[leorawright]

Hi! I was wondering if I could request the Healers plus Reinhardt and any other characters you want to add with a blind so please? If that is to many characters you can remove as many as you want, Thank you!! <3

Naw it's not too much don't worry!

Overwatch with blind s/o

Mercy

Mercy is very good at adapting her work style for you

She also makes sure no one around the base moves any furniture so you don't accidentally bump into it

She has changed her work station to more properly fit your needs

She also makes sure most sounds aren't to loud so you're not overwhelmed if your hearing has advanced

Lucio

He gets used to you being blind pretty quick

He tries to stand still around you so he doesn't confuse you by moving in circles around you

If your hearing is more advanced he's delighted when you pick up on the subtle instruments in his music

If anyone moves furniture without telling you Lucio will quickly move it back so you don't run into it

Moira

She offers to fix your eyesight if you want

If you decline she'll say the offer is always open

Moira is terrifying enough that no one in Talon or not dares mess with you, knowing she'll find out and happily experiment on them

Kiriko

Kiriko adapts very well to people with disabilities

She's always there to guide you when you two are in public

And if anyone gets mad at you she'll tell them you're blind or take the blame if they're still mad

She makes sure nothing around her house changes since you already know the layout

Baptiste

He's extra protective of you since you're blind

He'll often be in front of you during conflict or hold your hand in a crowd

If anyone dares to insult you Baptiste will roast them into a grave with no hesitation

He doesn't think you're uncapable he just feels the need to take extra care of you because the world is jut harder for you

Ana

Ana has the energy where is anyone messes with you they know she'll take them down several pegs

She often shows up at the best of times to either stop you from running into something or to diffuse a situation

If anyone opens their mouth to insult you she'll stare them down from behind you with a face that says "don't you dare"

Zenyatta

He knows the whole world is just harder for you so he's often nearby is case you ever need help

He's got a calming a distinct voice so you always know it's him

It's impossible for anyone to get mad at you because Zenyatta surrounds himself with good people like Genji who respect you and your struggles

Brigitte

She's such a sweetheart you never feel different around her

She'll excitedly describe cool looking landscape to you in ways she knows you'll understand

Brigitte will happily hold your hand or even carry you in public so you don't lose her

Reinhardt

Reinhardt may be loud but he's such a sweetheart

He'll gladly stick up for you if anyone is annoyed at you

He can also easily perch you on his shoulder so you don't get lost in crowds

No one insults you because he looks so intimidating and will lecture anyone who gets mad at you because you're blind

[wildissylupus]

Blinks at you with eyes SO wide

More Cassidy headcanons and/or Bapissidy content please...if you're up for it of course

I'm honest to god running out of Cassidy head canons so your going to get Bapssidy head canons.

While Pharah is the first person to figure out that Baptiste likes Cassidy, Angela is the first to figure it out that Cassidy likes Baptiste. She proceeded to tease him and then proceeded to become his wing women.

Since both of them have been in a few relationships before they started dating they are both rather casual about things, like first kiss and first date were just a very chill situation for them.

They both like sharing food and different recipes from their childhoods, though Cassidy is the better cook of the two.

They both get really bad nightmares so more often then not one of them will wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep, they both try and not wake the other up but it always fails for both of them.

When sleeping they don't really cuddle? They more just...star fish on top of each other.

One time before they started dating and after a long mission, Cassidy ended up sleeping and falling onto Baptists shoulder. Bap proceeded to not move for the entire ride back to Gibraltar, Genji has a photo of this and has shown it to Fareeha and Angela.

They aren't big on PDA but the one thing they constantly do is hold hands, other than that their more intimate moments are more in private. The only exception is either after a long distance mission or after one of them does something life threateningly stupid.

They both make fun of Talon on missions, especially Reaper, Cassidy has talked mad shit on Reyes and they both use that to mess with him.

DVA has called them both "Dad" at some point, sometimes it's on accident, sometimes it's for a joke.

Cassidy usually wakes up hours before Baptiste (he's a farm boy at heart so he wakes up ungodly early) so usually if it's a quiet day Cassidy would make them both breakfast.

Baptiste absolutely loves how dramatic Cassidy can be sometimes, however he's also one of the only people who can tell when he's being dramatic and when he's being serious.

Neither of them let the other live down how they first met, Baptiste always reminds Cassidy that he punched him in the face, Cassidy always reminds Baptiste that he thought it was a good idea to sneak up on the ex-Blackwatch second in command using Talon tactics.

Baptiste takes Cassidy to his home in Haiti during the holidays and Cassidy loves it there. He loves the sense of community, the weather, everything, he was also introduced to Roseline and now Cassidy helps send back money to the clinic there.

[runawaymun]

"a certain carpenter" it may have been His occupation for a few years, but Jesus's role is as our Lord & Savior for eternity, and we are His. Please have some respect and don't downplay who He is just because you're upset.

I have some other anons in my inbox that I want to take more seriously but this one's just giving me a giggle. Like, I appreciate treating Him with respect and trust me, I do?? I literally do?? I don't know how to explain to you that it was affectionate because I like, consider the guy my best friend and we talk every day. I guess we run in very different religious circles (and this is coming from someone who grew up hardline Baptist...) I've literally heard pastors and priests refer to Him that way and again it's always like, an affectionate thing. I don't mean it disrespectfully and I certainly am not being disrespectful because I'm disappointed in some of my siblings in Christ right now.

But of all the takeaways from my post...this is what you want to get mad about? I'm not 'downplaying' who he is because I'm upset. ??? You really think that I'm like...being passive aggressive to Jesus??

You really read my post and decided not to try and think critically about it at all, huh.

Maybe just take a deep breath. You took a really long jump there to the island of conclusions and it's gonna be a long swim back. In the future, maybe just try make a habit of thinking of the least bad reason someone could have for saying something. Y'know, a bit of a practice in empathy & uh.................... grace.

[cozycryptidcorner]

I know you're going to think I'm trolling but I genuinely don't understand what you want me to apologize for?

-The "Rogue" "Christian"

Ok. I’m going to take this seriously because I used to be a Christian, and idk if you’re acting like this because you’re so gung-ho about Christianity and think it’s leaders are always right regardless of their actions on earth or you’re struggling and something I said made you very uncomfortable with how you handle faith.

So I’m going to tackle this from your worldview. Idk what denomination you’re from, but my extended family is Methodist/catholic and my mom was baptist before she married my stepfather so I have a pretty good handle on the small differences.

anyone who isn’t christian who is interested in this kind of stuff should read too.

Firstly, your initial message was sent in defensive anger. And I do get it, when you see something that challenges your entire worldview it can be pretty shaking. But you did accuse me of being anti-theist when I pretty much explicitly said I wasn’t (i’m pretty cool with most pagans, and they’re polytheistic), meaning you didn’t read my whole post. And I wasn’t sure what angle you were originally coming from, because I do get the occasional troll from time to time.

So I did joke about it, because I was raised in a fundamentalist branch of christianity which is rich in purity culture. And even if you aren’t subscribed to purity culture, most sects of christians (baring most progressive christians) believe that any form of sexual content before marriage, ESPECIALLY pornography, is still a form a sexual sin that muddies your soul. Even the bible talks about “sexual immorality,” so you can’t really blame it on our differing denominations:

1 Corinthians 10:8: Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 

2 Corinthians 12:21: I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced. 

Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” 

etc etc i can pull so many more out of my ass because i was forcefed this shit until my eyes bled. 

So a christian being mad that a monsterfucking PORN blog they’re following that’s run by an openly queer person was talking shit about them is inherently funny to me. Because even if you, an adult, was following a blog with adult content, it’s explicitly forbidden in your own religion. Also like, sure monsterfucking wasn’t in the bible. But if I had a time machine and I could bounce back a couple thousand years to ask paul what he thought about a human fucking godzilla or gargoyles, pretty sure he would file it under unholy fornication. much less DEMONS lmfao.

plus, okay you wouldn’t actually fuck a monster, but thinking is just as bad as doing it, according to your own book:

Matthew 5:28  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Mark 7:20-23 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

So by looking lustfully at my art or my stories, you’ve fucked them in your heart and that’s just as bad.

then. You could have just left it at that, but then you turn around and pull the whole “uwu babygirl” which was clearly just done out of anger and vindictiveness. You could not stand that I brushed you off without taking you seriously/was mad that i showed no remorse/just pissy in general. That was super unchristlike of you, because what does the bible say about speaking in anger?

Matthew 5:21–22 You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

James 1:19-20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

And if you’re catholic: Titus 1:7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain.

Damn that’s so crazy. I wonder what Jesus would think of your behavior.

anyways the apology bit was also me joking within the realms of, again, your own religion. as in I would let you pull some more christian stuff as long as it was in repentance of your ungodly behavior.

 1 Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Maybe it was the sects I was exposed to, but isn’t there like. A tremendous emphasis on asking for forgiveness when you have sinned against others? I mean you can go the easy way and just ask the man upstairs to forgive you if you don’t want to make amends with the actual person you sinned against but I don’t really care either way since I don’t subscribe to your religion.

I just find your behavior really abhorrent for someone who is in the religion of “love” or whatever. Like someone a lot smarter than me said, there’s no hate quite like christian love haha.

ANYWAYS. Also please note I’m using mostly new testament scripture, so you can’t pull the usual “the old rules for the old world” bs.

Also if you’re catholic lmk I’ll start pulling the cataclysm rules I used to have memorized too.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #260: Salome

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're building Salome, the last two-star servant... ever, currently. We're also building John the Baptist, technically. (The build's mostly Salome, but we all know he's the real head of operations here.)

Salome is a Lorehold Bard because I understand WotC made a decision to not include the strixhaven subclasses in the official game, but I have determined that it's a dumbass decision. Also to get a skull to ride around on. She's also a Celestial Warlock to get some extra powers from John's skull.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: I got that summertime, summertime ramen

Race and Background

Salome's a human. John was a human. Together they're variant human, which gives her +1 Intelligence and Charisma, as well as proficiency in Performance (duh) and the Gift of the Metallic Dragon feat. She learns the spell Cure Wounds and uses her Charisma to cast it, for free once a day or using spell slots. She also gets Protective Wings (veils) that add her proficiency bonus to her or another ally's AC to block an attack. You can do this proficiency times per day. Sadly this only gives her six veils by the end of this, but you do what you can.

She's the adopted daughter of a king, so that makes her a Noble, probably. I won't pretend I know how courts work. For our purposes though this just means she has proficiency in History and Persuasion checks. She's gotta get that skull somehow, y'know?

Ability Scores

Number one is Charisma. You dance so good it literally drives men mad, and you somehow convinced John to help you fight people after having him decapitated. That's a high persuasion DC. After that is Dexterity- I don't care what WotC says, a winning attitude does not count as dance classes. Third is Intelligence. Your whole scheme wasn't that complicated, but you're still smarter than the guys you tricked into helping you. Your Constitution isn't amazing, but you kinda have natural body so you shouldn't get sick that often. This means your Strength is pretty low, though it got a boost from Madness Enhancement so we're dumping Wisdom. Haha, berserkers.

Class Levels

Bard 1: Being a bard is cool, they get proficiency in three skills at the start from the bard skill list, a.k.a. every skill in the game. Pick up some Religion from your lover's skull, as well as Acrobatics for fancier dance moves and Athletics to ride on that skull easier. I mean, it's a smooth, round surface, your core's gotta be godlike to stay on that thing. You also get proficiency in Dexterity and Charisma saves. On top of that you gain Bardic Inspiration, letting you help out an ally as a bonus action, giving them a d6 they can add to a check, save, or attack roll within the next minute. You can do this Charisma Modifier times per long rest. It's like cheerleading, but for murder. Finally, you can cast Spells using your Charisma. Spells like Friends to make it easier to trick someone into decapitating a guy for you, or Charm Person to do the same. You also get Disguise Self for your Natural Body skill, letting you transform yourself, a totally natural thing for a body to do. You learn Dancing Lights mostly for the pun of it but also to help you see in the dark with your dumb human eyes, Faerie Fire because (as we learned with Nobu) bards suck at fire damage, and Dissonant Whispers to literally be so sexy it hurts. It'll also make the target run away if they fail a wisdom save.

Bard 2: At second level bards become a Jack of All Trades, adding half your proficiency to skill checks you're not proficient in. Being mad shouldn't make you bad at seeing things, and now it doesn't. (I mean you're still pretty bad at it with a +0, but w/e) You can also perform a Dance of Rest over a short rest, adding a d6 to the healing done by your party using their hit dice. This doesn't scale well, so enjoy it while you can. You can also cast Distort Value. I don't know if turning a crystal skull to gold raises or decreases its value, but now you can do either.

At third level you get a lot of stuff once you join the college of Lorehold, since they kind of expected you to join at level one. You get Expertise in two skills for a doubled proficiency bonus, so let's get really good at Persuasion and Performance. You also get a ton of free subclass spells: Sacred Flame, Comprehend Languages, Knock, and Locate Object. (Does a skull count as an object while the body around it is alive? Asking for a friend.) Your free spells' in-characterness is questionable, but the real reason we're here is for the feature you get upon joining the college, Ancient Companion. This lets you summon an ancient spirit and house it in a Medium sized statue like, say, a big crystal skull for example. Could be anything though. The important thing is it'll help you out if you use your bonus action to command it, otherwise it'll just dodge. They also come in three flavors. The Sage spirit helps nearby allies on intelligence and wisdom checks, a Healer can give out temporary HP, and a Warrior has a higher AC and can help nearby allies on strength and dexterity saves. While this statue is normally only medium size, you can use your new spell Enlarge/Reduce to grow it to Large, allowing you to ride it into battle. It isn't any faster than you'd be on foot, but you're riding into battle on a giant crystal skull, that's fucking awesome.

Bard 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma for stronger spells. I know you're a berserker, but you have a giant skull to handle the punching for you now. You can also cast Mage Hand to make a smaller ghost skull carry stuff for you, and Enthrall to dance so good people have to pay attention to you and not your growing skull entourage.

Bard 5: Fifth level is good to bard. You get a bigger bardic inspiration die, you become a Font of Inspiration to get all those sweet sweet d8s back on a short rest, and you learn third level spells like Fast Friends. This basically lets you convince a creature to do whatever the hell you want as long as it wouldn't end in certain death for that creature. Certain death for someone else is totally on the table. You also get the freebies Speak with Dead to actually talk to that guy you like and Spirit Guardians to summon even more skulls to protect yourself, dealing damage in a circle around you to anything that gets too close.

Warlock 1: John the Baptist? Probably a cleric. So the powers you get from him probably match up with the Celestial patronage pretty well. This gives you the Light and Sacred Flame cantrips as well as a Healing Light, so you have your warlock level in d6s that you can use to heal a creature as a bonus action, spending up to 4d6 at a time, and 5 when your charisma bumps up later. Roll those dice together, heal that much to the target. You get all your dice back after a good night's sleep. You've got a little regeneration, as long as your dance doesn't remove it. Plus it's not like you were using that bonus action anyway, right? Oh. You also learn some Pact Magic, which is like normal magic but you get the spell slots back on short rests. Because of this it doesn't really gel with your existing spell slots, so rather than using the multiclassing table you use each class' slots separately. However, you can cast warlock spells with bard slots and vice-versa. Spells like Eldritch Blast (Throw a skull at them), Toll the Dead (Throw a spooky skull at them), Protection from Evil and Good (Use your big mirror to mess with radiant creatures), and Hex (Dance so good the boys go loco).

Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, extra goodies from your sugar skull daddy to tide you over. Stuff like Armor of Shadows for free mage armor since you're not exactly rocking platemail, and an Eldritch Mind to get advantage on concentration saves. You sling spells around while riding on a skull, that's tough to do. You also learn Expeditious Retreat this level, letting you pick up the tempo and dash as a bonus action. Use this as a retreating option, since you've got like 5 other bonus actions to use in a fight.

Warlock 3: At third level you get a pact boon from your patron. Since you already got a skull from your college we can use this feature to- oh, you already picked up another skull from the Pact of the Chain? Alright, that works too. You learn the Find Familiar spell and can cast it as a ritual, plus you can pick from an Imp, Pseudodragon, Quasit, or Sprite when you make your familiar. Technically there's no skull, but you can always flavor one to be a skull. You can also replace one of your terrible attacks with one of your familiar's terrible attacks. The important thing is your familiar doesn't use your bonus action, so you can have it take the help action so your other skull gets advantage to hit. You also get the spell Lesser Restoration. Natural Body = you don't get sick. But you the player probably do so please keep wearing a mask. I know it sucks, but do you really want to have wasted the last two years of your life just to get sick now?

Bard 6: Bouncing back to bard lets you waste a turn on Countercharm, giving your allies advantage against being charmed or frightened. On top of learning how useless this feature is you learn some Lessons of the Past, so your skull bf gives you a bonus depending on what spirit you choose to put in him. If it's a Healer you get a bonus to your hit point maximum and you get healed more per healing spell. With Sage you get advantage on all Arcana, History, Nature, and Religion checks, and once a turn you can deal extra force damage, making you a discount paladin. Appropriate for someone carrying around a cleric's skull. And finally, if you choose Warrior spending your action to cast a cantrip lets you make an attack in the same action, dealing radiant damage in the process. You can also charm a crowd now using your Hypnotic Pattern. Of dance moves, obviously.

Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells, so you can create a spooky skull only their target can see with Phantasmal Killer, send one off to spy on people as an Arcane Eye, or make more crystal skulls with Stone Shape.

Bard 8: Use this ASI to finally max out your Charisma for the strongest spells and most inspirational dances. Your flexibility on the dance floor also lets you get out of sticky situations now if you cast Freedom of Movement. You can't get slowed or paralyzed, and nonmagical restraints do almost nothing to you, only taking 5' of movement to break out of.

Bard 9: Ninth level bards get a stronger song of rest but also fifth level spells! Legend Lore is great if you want to gush about your boyfriend, and Destructive Wave is You can also finally cast Animate Objects, so now you can have up to ten tiny skulls floating around at once! These also require bonus action commands, but you can issue a general command at the start of a fight and just let them do their thing.

Bard 10: Tenth level bards get a d10 inspiration die, as well as another round of Expertise, this time in Acrobatics and Athletics. You get another cantrip which I don't really think matters that much, but you also learn Magical Secrets, two spells from any spell list, like Alter Self to properly shapeshift and Greater Restoration for some serious debuff immunity.

Warlock 4: Now that we have some good charisma, use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for a better AC and better dance moves. You can also finally have your skulls spit hot fire by flavoring up the spells Create Bonfire and Flaming Sphere.

Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get third level spells like Suggestion. It's kind of like Fast Friends but people won't get angry after the spell ends. You also pick up the invocation Gift of the Ever-Living Ones. While you're near John any dice that are being used to heal you always heal their maximum amount. That natural body does wonders for your health, it really does.

Warlock 6: Our last level of celestial servitude gives you a Radiant Soul, giving you resistance to radiant damage and you can add your charisma modifier to spells that deal fire or radiant damage. You can also Summon Undead, creating an Undead Spirit that'll hang around for up to an hour. And yes, a skeleton is an option. It doesn't even use your bonus action to command it!

Bard 11: Eleventh level bards get sixth level spells, and to be honest I don't really want any of them. That being said, I can't not include Otto's Irresistible Dance here. Despite the name, it doesn't actually make you dance, just your target. There's no save to start, but they can spend their action to make a wisdom save to end the spell. If they don't, they use all their movement dancing in place, and they have disadvantage on attacks and dexterity saves. Also, other creatures have advantage on attacking the target.

Bard 12: Use your last ASI of the build to bump up your Dexterity again. What can I say? You're flexible.

Bard 13: Again, we don't really need a seventh level spell at this point, but... it's called Dream of the Blue Veil. I couldn't not get it! And hey, now you have seven veils, just as promised.

Bard 14: We finish off this build with.. a problem. You see, the way the Strixhaven subclasses work is every time you would get something from a normal subclass, you can pick one option off their feature list. The issue here is, they have four features, and bards only get three subclass specific levels. Admittedly in this specific build you'd have to pick between War Echoes and History's Whims anyway. If you want to deal stupid damage, pick the former, but we're here to dance, so we're picking the latter. That means you can enter a funky dance state as a bonus action, letting you pick between one of three bonuses every turn as long as you don't pick the same one twice in a row. Luck lets you add a d6 to every saving throw you make for the turn, Resistance gives you resistance to bludgeoning, slashing, and piercing damage, and Swiftness gives you extra movement speed and you ignore opportunity attacks. The first one's nice, but we're here for using Resistance as a stand in for Natural Body and Swiftness as some kind of dancer's agility. Either way, the feature lasts one minute and you can use it once per long rest, or by spending a 4th level spell slot or higher. Speaking of spells, you get another round of Magical Secrets. You know how I said your skulls could spit fire with flavor? That's dumb. Use Dragon's Breath and they can do that rules as written. Slap it on your familiar or your companion and boom, every metal album ever. You can also use a Draconic Transformation to set yourself up with a super sick skull mount, giving you blindsight up to 30 feet, a Breath Weapon (That sadly only does force damage), and a Flying Speed so that floating skull of yours can actually, y'know, float.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

You game the action economy so hard it should be illegal. With a familiar skull, a companion skull, your own skull, and up to ten other skulls, you've got thirteen bodies on the field before we even bring up any sort of charms you've put on other people. I'm not saying they're powerful, but people will have a hell of a time trying to get through.

You're also pretty self-reliant in terms of survivability, with plenty of healing options to keep yourself alive and mobility options to keep the damage off you in the first place. I wouldn't say you're the party's healer, especially in late-game content, but you can help out a bit.

Speaking of parties, you're amazing at them. Ignoring your charming spells you still have a maxed out charisma stat and expertise in two charisma skills. And even if you need to deceive or intimidate someone you've got a +8 to the check, which isn't that bad.

Cons:

Your skulls are mostly really weak, so if your enemies or even your party has an Area of Effect Spell there's a good chance they'll destroy your entire army.

You also have a low wisdom, and if you get charmed now all those skulls are gonna be going after your party. Oops.

You also have issues with Concentration. Your saves aren't terrible, but the big issue is with exclusivity. You can't charm while animating objects, you can enlarge your skull and give it fire breath at the same time, it's just annoying.

[overwatch-imagines-hub]

I've been having a difficult time with my family, and have started notice that they aren't exactly.. Good people per second, at least for me. As a result, I've been trying to distance myself from them, especially my brother, but it's been really hard on me. I know it's an oddly specific request, but can you maybe write about how Zenyatta, Genji, Tracer, and maybe Baptiste (if you're okay with requests for him) might support their s/O through this? Thank you 💜

Hey, Anon, I really hope you’re doing better lately! I definitely get what you’re going through. Sometimes people are capable of working through those things, which is great if you can manage that (and I highly recommend that route if you haven’t tried it), but there situations where working things out just doesn’t… work. so important, because without that stuff there really is no you, and you should do what you need to do to reach that good headspace.

Anyway, I hope you’re doing alright and I wish you luck on your endeavors! Sorry this piece is so late because I apparently missed it when I was purging my ask box and moving things to my drafts. I’d love to hear an update and make sure everything’s okay!

Also, fun fact: I tried to do a read more break after Zenyatta’s section but the post’s formatting got weird on me, so I guess here’s an extended post without a break. Lemme know if this is the length of post that could have used a read more break, or if that should be reserved for longer ones.

Tip Jar

~~~

Zenyatta

His first suggestion is to try working it out with your family before making any drastic decisions

If there’s a way to come to some sort of understanding (family therapy, for example), or be able to change their toxic mindset, that’s the first path he’d try to help you take

However, if you’d already tried that, or the effort would be fruitless, he’d fully support you in doing whatever you need to do to better your own life

He understands how difficult it is to distance yourself from people who surrounded you your entire life

Constant gentle encouragement and reminding that you need to do what’s best for you

He invites you to either live and/or work at his sanctuary home or join him on your travels to both help yourself gain some distance but also to take some time to refresh your body and mind in a positive environment

Meditation, exercise, and healthy work to keep the bad thoughts away

At the same time, he often checks in with you to see how you’re doing and is always willing to listen and talk through your problems when you’re having a hard time

During your travels with Zen, should you choose to join him, he helps you explore communities and people to see if there’s one you fancy and would like to settle there

However, if you’d like to simply stay with him, he’d be happy to let you

Considering this something he does as work already, and he cares about you, he’ll support you on your journey anyway he can

Genji Shimada

His method is very similar to Zen’s

However, as someone who was forced to leave a toxic household (y’know, on account of basically d y i n g), he’s surprisingly not as keen on telling you to try and work things out first

In the beginning, offers to take you traveling with him in order to both clear your head and put some space between you and your family

Helps you talk through the situation in a calm and thought-out manner, to make a mind-map of sorts about not only the situation and how your realization came to be, but also your options on how to deal with it

Works everything out with you every step of the way and tries to keep things from getting overwhelming

Might even share some of his own past experiences with you as a way of meeting the situation on equal ground

Offers advice and suggestions when you ask him for them, but never tries to control your final decision on things

Does his best to make sure that the situation at hand doesn’t overtake the rest of your life

AKA date nights and break-times and fun things included

He did something similar and became stronger for it

He considers you ten times braver than him, so he knows you can do it too

He has absolute faith in you

Tracer

Having issues with the bloodline squad? No problem, she’s got you

If you life with any of the toxic family, she’ll give you her bed and sleep on the couch

There for all your talking/ranting needs

Despite herself, Lena’s probably one of the best listeners around

Hangs on to every detail

She’s also the best at the ‘put a pin in it, let’s chill’ method

When you go to talk to her and start getting overwhelmed or worked up, she puts a pause in the chat with a sweet ‘Alright, love, time for a break and we’ll come back to that’

The ways she helps you relax and regroup can very from just snuggling and random chatting for a bit in the same place the two of you have been sitting the entire time

To ordering some food and a special dessert (your favorite) and turning on some dumb TV

To ‘hey, a new arcade opened up a couple days ago in town, let’s go have fun for a spell’

Eventually always coming back to the situation at hand and talking it out, though

If you’re okay with it, she also probably talks to her older/more experienced peers about the situation and what they would suggest you do

Probably does a lot of research on such subjects so she can properly help you

Whatever you need, she’s ready to help; whether that be walking with you because you have to pass by a relative’s home or work place, or being there if you decide to go as far as changing your number, or giving you a place to stay if you don’t have to be alone during such a difficult time

Jean-Baptiste

His first action is to take your mind of things and help you cheer up and relax a bit

This probably means sweeping you away on one of his travels and pampering the shit out of you

I imagine anyone dating him just kinda periodically travels with him as is because he’s a traveling medic and all

The special part is taking you to the most fun and coziest local spots and pulling out all the dorky moves until you’re giggling a little too loud in the nice diner

Eventually there will be a serious chat about the situation

He’ll ask you for details (mainly why your family’s toxic) and try to help you make a plan on how to deal with the situation

Realistically, depending on where you live, you won’t be able to avoid your family completely unless you wanted to pack up and move someplace new

Not that he’s against that, if that’s what you’re going for; that just adds a whole different level to the situation

If you live with family, he’ll set up his traveling clinic nearby so you can stay with him until you find a place of your own

Or, if you do feel like moving would be a good change of pace, and you’d be interested in helping at said traveling clinic, Jean definitely wouldn’t be opposed to having an assistant

Especially a cute one

Also he’d have to train you but he’s down

Anyway

He’s a reasonably blunt dude, so he probably suggests straight-up letting your family members know that you’re wanting to go your own way

“And if they get pushy, they can die mad.”

But if you’ve already tried that, or feel like you’re in an unsafe environment to do so, he helps you safely plan a way out

[queerasinfvckyov]

You're clearly not getting the other anon's message, so I'll try to explain what I understood of it. Harry doesn't EXPLICITLY SAY anything political. Ever. The only sort of political statement we had from him was that he'd vote for whoever was against Brexit but that he wasn't that well-versed on the matter (and he's been living in England almost exclusively for the past two years, which is when BLM arose). He doesn't do political statements on stage, not verbally. He never has and I don't 1

understand why people expect him to make a political statement now, and why specifically with BLM? Which is a subject that’s completely out of his reach as a British person that lives in London. He was never going to SAY anything about the signs, but I have no doubts that if given a flag, he would wave it, because I absolutely believe he’s for the sentiment of BLM. He wasn’t given a flag. There was a flag folded and thrown on stage, to a side Harry was NOT on towards the end of the show 2

but I seriously doubt he even saw it, and if he did, he couldn’t have possibly known it was a BLM flag (look at the picture of it thrown on stage and you’ll see it’s 1. on the other side of where he was 2. folded so it’s impossible to see what it says). I absolutely understand the outrage towards fans that didn’t show the solidarity to bring the flag to the front, which they always do with rainbow flags. That’s something to point out. The poor girl that organised this movement had to throw 3

it by herself and it was really hard to get him to notice it, and it shouldn’t have been. Harry grabs flags that fans are waving in the front row, only once he picked up one from the floor (and it was very clear it was a rainbow flag, and it was by his feet). I just don’t understand the outrage towards Harry. He said he doesn’t do politics. You can dislike that, and that has been discussed to death, but his position on that subject is clear. He’s for equality as a fundamental right, but 4

refuses to discuss politics and I just don’t think that’s a problem. When he wanted to make a statement against Washington’s position about trans people in the military, he hung trans flags, he didn’t say anything. This is his style. Why are we attacking him for doing what he’s always done? Let’s get mad with the fans that aren’t doing what they’re supposed to, not with Harry. If someone waves a BLM flag in the front rows, and he sees it and he ignores it, then that’d be valid criticism 5 (fin)

Before I get into this I would appreciate if in the future you didn’t call into question my reading comprehension ability. I understood what the ask said, and I expect you mean well (at least I hope so) but I don’t need you to clarify it for me. I wasn’t confused. 

So let’s get into it. 

Harry doesn’t EXPLICITLY SAY anything political. Ever.

Believe me, I am fully aware that Harry doesn’t typically verbalize his political beliefs. I’ve never bothered to discuss it on the blog but I’ve rambled plenty in private conversations about it (and the boys’ politics more generally). In fact, I spent the better part of the day doing just that. I am aware of Harry’s approach to politics and the place politics has re: the image he wants to present of himself to his fans. 

Except. Except, except, except. 

He does make political statements. He’s made them for a while now, even if mostly inelegantly (which I certainly do not begrudge him; he didn’t do his A levels and he certainly hasn’t gone to post-secondary where a lot of people figure out how to convey these complex ideas). It started off with him telling people not to go to Seaworld. Why? Because they treat animals with cruelty. Now, animals are ‘easy mode’, so to speak, when it comes to politics. People generally all agree that animals are deserving of certain rights and should be treated well. This doesn’t seem like a political statement but regardless it is (eg, look at the laws that are being changed in the States re: shooting hibernating bears or the support for fox hunts in Britain; these pertain to the treatment of animals and they are also political). I acknowledge that this might seem to be irrelevant and small, but as I said, it’s a starting point. 

Moving forward, Harry has also on multiple occasions even BEFORE his solo tour acknowledge the queer community and queer rights. He’s acknowledged on twitter (yes, it might not have been him, but it doesn’t matter because it’s was still approved by his team and allowed to be part of his public image) the Westboro Baptist Chruch protesting the One Direction concert (a statement that specifically denounced them, if perhaps vaguely). Furthermore, let’s not forget about “lets have a good equal time” or “It’s looking colourful in here, and for some of you I know why. Happy Pride.” (this might not be the exact quote, but it was along these lines). And what about the picture of the rainbow flag and the rainbow on his instagram the day same-sex marriage was legalized in the States? And we can’t forget his “I study rainbows” tweet and bracelet or the odd rainbow flags he was already waving around during OTRA. 

These are ALL political statements and, with the exception of the tweets and instagram posts, they were all done on stage–but regardless all done on public forums. If Harry didn’t engage with politics he wouldn’t have made any of these statements whatsoever. 

(also, it’s a little pedantic, but BLM has been a “thing” for a little over 3 years now, not two; it’ll be four next august).

He never has and I don’tunderstand why people expect him to make a political statement now, and why specifically with BLM?

As I mentioned in the ask, I don’t get the impression that people were expecting him to acknowledge the signs or wave the flag, but they were hoping he would do so and, as I mentioned in my answer to the previous ask, I expect it’s because he’s been so adamant to create safe spaces for the queer fans. By waving those flags and making damn sure his concerts are a safe space for queer fans he’s making a political statement. He’s drawing his line in the sand, so to speak, and that line is that he won’t tolerate any kind of discrimination towards queer fans at his concerts. He opens up his concerts by saying that he wants people to have fun and “be whoever you want to be”. That is a political statement. 

Ever since that show in Nashville where people’s flags were confiscated, and Harry brought one out for the encore (whether it was his own or one of the fans’ confiscated ones) and stated that he was bringing it back to where it belonged, his waving of the many pride flags has been entirely political. It was a political statement before, of course, at the first two shows, but it was made all the more so after that show. His insistence on always waving a flag, no matter the circumstances, is a political statement, too. 

So why did people specifically want a BLM flag? Because Harry has made damn sure his concerts are safe spaces for queer fans–or, as I mentioned in the previous ask too, his concerts and wherever else he feels like it (the Hollywood Bowl We Can Survive concert was certainly not his own concert, but he made it a safe space anyway). Black fans (and poc fans more generally) exist without being queer. Why is Harry willing to get political with various queer pride flags but not BLM flags? 

Which is a subject that’s completely out of his reach as a British person that lives in London. He was never going to SAY anything about the signs, but I have no doubts that if given a flag, he would wave it, because I absolutely believe he’s for the sentiment of BLM.

People have every right to hope he would have, and be disappointed that the political statements he’s willing to make as things stand now, if vaguely, seem to extend only as far as queer solidarity. And, in the words of a dear friend of mine: “ no one wants harry to draft a 20 point policy on how we begin to eliminate mass incarceration?? It’s actually real simple: acknowledge our existence”. That’s all people were hoping he would do. And once more, as I mentioned in my previous ask, that’s all he would have had to do–acknowledge the signs were there. 

The issue, of course, is that based on the fan accounts we have so far, he was aware of the signs, and there is evidence in videos that there was at least one sign in the front row dead centre in support of BLM. He didn’t mention them. 

He wasn’t given a flag. There was a flag folded and thrown on stage, to a side Harry was NOT on towards the end of the show but I seriously doubt he even saw it, and if he did, he couldn’t have possibly known it was a BLM flag (look at the picture of it thrown on stage and you’ll see it’s 1. on the other side of where he was 2. folded so it’s impossible to see what it says).

He very well might not have seen it. The flag is dark and so was the stage, and as I’ve seen some people say around here they weren’t even aware BLM had a flag. It’s quite possible that if he had known what to be looking for he would have been able to see the flag. 

However. 

He also didn’t pay attention to the people that were apparently shouting about the flag being on stage. I admit this could be down to the general confusion and screaming that happens at concerts. Yet there were, apparently, a good handful of fans shouting about the flags and the signs even when it was quiet, and it should have been easier to hear then. Of course, if he wasn’t expecting people to be talking about the BLM at the concert he probably wasn’t primed to make the connection, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that there were signs in the front row and all he had to do was acknowledge they were there, even obliquely as he typically is with politics. He did not, and people have are allowed to be disappointed and disheartened. 

I absolutely understand the outrage towards fans that didn’t show the solidarity to bring the flag to the front, which they always do with rainbow flags. That’s something to point out. The poor girl that organised this movement had to throw it by herself and it was really hard to get him to notice it, and it shouldn’t have been.

I’m glad we’re in agreement about the poor behaviour on the parts of the fans there, and I and many others have been discussing how the other fans there (especially the ones who accepted the signs and then did nothing) are also responsible for the how things went. It seems like people were being ridiculously pushy and unaccommodating in the pit with one another as well. So much for treat people with kindness. 

I just don’t understand the outrage towards Harry.

As I’ve said before, people are outraged because they feel hurt and disappointed (although I don’t think there’s hatred). Resentment, perhaps, but what else could you honestly expect? Black folk and the black fans in this fandom in particular are tired. And who the fuck could blame them? When this is the kind of fallout that occurs in response to a project with the sole purpose of creating a safe space for black fans and poc fans more generally? Like Harry has been doing for 15 shows +1 for queer fans since his tour began. They’re tired that even in this fandom, in the concerts of somebody who cares so deeply about equality and treating others with kindness, it’s still SUCH a fight just to be given the same treatment as the others have been given.

He said he doesn’t do politics. You can dislike that, and that has been discussed to death, but his position on that subject is clear. He’s for equality as a fundamental right, but refuses to discuss politics and I just don’t think that’s a problem.

I do, of course, take issue with that. Whether he likes it or not, he is in a position of power and privilege and if he desires to think of himself as an ally he has a responsibility to do what he can with his power and privilege to be an ally. I don’t think anybody is expecting him to be an activist (I certainly am not), but he’s really not even doing the bare minimum in a lot of areas–like with BLM. As for seeing equality as a fundamental right, it’s a sweet thought, but the issue is that things he might consider to be non-issues and not up for debate are, unfortunately, inherently political in the current state of the world. If he’s for equality he must take some kind of stand against inequality, otherwise he is being permissive towards the institutional nature of many inequalities (in this case, racial inequality). Silence is violence, because silence is what allows inequality to perpetuate. You cannot be for equality and also refuse to “do politics”. 

When he wanted to make a statement against Washington’s position about trans people in the military, he hung trans flags, he didn’t say anything. This is his style.

Unfortunately I’m going to have to be pedantic again here. First of all, this is contradicting what you mentioned earlier about Harry not explicitly saying anything political ever and also that the only somewhat political statement he made was about Brexit. If you mean the Brexit statement was the only one he verbalized and that he doesn’t typically verbalize political statements, sure, but if you think the only way to be political and make explicit political statements is if you say them verbally I’m afraid I’m going to have to tell you to do some more research (and I don’t mean that maliciously). In fact, I would argue that most political statements are not done verbally but conveyed through via other means–particularly, through action. Look at the way we treat politicians: we only really believe them when they show us they mean what they say, which is done through implementation of policies–through action. Or, conversely, through inaction. 

Why are we attacking him for doing what he’s always done? Let’s get mad with the fans that aren’t doing what they’re supposed to, not with Harry. If someone waves a BLM flag in the front rows, and he sees it and he ignores it, then that’d be valid criticism.  

Firstly, I don’t like the way you’re talking about people’s response to what happened at the concert here. People aren’t “attacking” him. They’re expressing their frustration and their upset and their disappointment, and every single one of those emotional responses is valid. I don’t know if you’re white, but I certainly am, and not a single one of us white people–or even other poc fans, for that matter–have any right to say anything about the way the black fans (and other poc fans, if they are feeling similarly) are reacting to this. As a white person, I have no fucking clue, not a single one, about what it means to exist as a black person in the world to day and I and we other non-black fans don’t possess a single shred of authority about how people should feel and react to Harry’s lack of support for BLM (when, again, he has put the effort into being supportive for queer fans–which is definitely amazing, don’t get me wrong; as a queer fan it means a lot to me, but black fans and poc fans deserve the same) and validation of and solidarity with the black fans. 

Secondly, as I mentioned before in this ask and in the previous one, people are calling out the fans. That doesn’t mean people can’t also expect better of Harry. These aren’t “haters” or whatever you want to call them who are calling out the fans at the concert and Harry. These are other fans who want the fandom and Harry to improve and do better because they care, and because they have a right to expect and hope for better. Black lives matter. Black fans just want people to actually act like they do.