#you're only getting the comic page from me this week probably

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

need your loving tonight

☆AGATHA'S MASTERLIST☆

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

summary : Eddie is trying to make amends with you after he acted like an idiot to you but no matter how hard he tries, you wouldn't forgive him for his mistakes

word count : I hope this won't be too long 😭

warnings : 18+ MDNI Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, no use of y/n, Eddie and reader are both 20, EVENTUAL SMUT‼️, protected sex (as they should) Jason Carver I know I'm sorry 😖 Eddie being dumb at some points, reader might be too harsh with Eddie here, happy ending? will see 🙃

what to expect : lots of ANGST‼️ in the beginning but fluff in the end, friends to lovers

note to reader : VECNA & UPSIDE DOWN DON'T EXIST HERE! it would be nice to read that Eddie is begging for your forgiveness hehe

author note : I love Queen and this is my ultimate favorite song of all time never get tired of listening to it- if you haven't- MY GOD! SHAME ON YOU! 😤

He struggles not to get mad at you

He struggles not to get frustrated at you

He struggles not to hate on you

What happened?

Did he have done something wrong?

Hell

Hell yes, he did something wrong with you

"I'm so fucking dumb" he mumbles to himself

"What did you say?" Jeff says as he flips the next page of his comic book

The voice of his friend made his snap out of his thoughts while he's looking at you at the other side of the cafeteria

"uh- nothing" he clears his throat, straightens himself up and he averts his eyes away from you

Jeff looks up to his friend with critical eyes as he observes him, slowly putting his comic book down on the table, he turns around and he founds you there

"Ah" he chuckles shaking his head, he finally understands the situation

Eddie catches this and he questions him "Excuse me?"

"Make it up to her, man" Gareth says as he takes a sip from his canned Coke

He swings his head over to his other friend, confusion expression sitting on his face clearly

"Woo her" Dustin added while he's writing on his science notebook

Eddie quickly shuts his eyes as he responds "Was I too obvious for thinking about her too much?"

"Stop moping around and talk to her!" Lucas leans in, his tone is serious making Eddie nodding taking his words carefully

"The more you don't try to fix, the more she'll gets angry at you, been there done that" Mike raising his hands up as he tries to forget the idiot things that he did to Jane

"What the hell- did you to her this time, Munson?"

All of them turn their heads at the other voice, it's standing right there next to Eddie looking at him down with a stern look on his face

The look is not threatening but Eddie can see it that he genuinely cares

Eddie just lifts his head up to see the man standing beside him and he can see the guilty and sadness on his eyes

He sighs "I don't know anymore, dude...." He trails off

"He probably done something asshole to her girl" Jeff fills him up

Eddie looks at him with wide eyes and then turns to a pointed look

"I-I'm sorry, man, it's the truth!" Jeff surrenders

He shook his head as he leans his back against his seat

Eddie's eyes always goes back at you for everytime he tries to rethink and remember those past few weeks before you chose to ignore him

It's been 3 weeks

It almost looks like he doesn't even exist to you

He should've known, a girl like you who got a heart of gold, nicest soul

Could turn into something else that he never expected to happen

You became mean, hateful, rude, impolite to him

The only time he sees you smiling and laughing so sweetly is when you're not close to him

But whenever your eyes falls to him, it changes into anger, it flashes to him so sharply that he can feel your gaze stabbing into him

He knows he deserves it for treating you this way

And my god, both of you have been bestfriends for years and he never thought this day would come

The day he will never ever forget is that you despise him, every bit of him irritates into your core

He can't blame you, you've been together since elementary, he knows how much you give your whole heart to someone you love

And then he just chose to fucking mess things up

"Answer me, Munson"

he puts his food tray on the table, it made Eddie flinch a little, he goes straight back into reality again

"What's going on between you and her?"

Eddie breathes from his nose deeply, he looks down shamefully

"You can still bring her back, you know, it's not too late"

"How can I ever talk to her if she doesn't give me a chance?!" Eddie finally speaks throwing his hands up while stealing a glance at you

You're staring at him coldly

Eddie can't even look at you like that for long giving him that icy glare

The man beside Eddie gave a gesture to Jeff and Gareth to scoot over on the side so he will have a seat next to Eddie

Eddie rubs his face, he's stressing out, his friend can see that

"It's not the right time to give me advices, Harrington"

"Look, dude, I just wanted to help you, if you lose her you're going to regret it, believe me"

Eddie stare at him for a second, he nods along for him to continue

"What did you do that might upset her?" Steve tries to look at his friends eyes

The whole crew looks at him directly, awaiting for his answer

Eddie swallows he knows he's gonna get scolded from his friends and if Wayne knew about this

He's a fucking dead man

"b-before the 3 weeks happened, we h-hang a lot like the usual a-and then I-I think she gives so many hints that s-she liked me and I thought she's j-just expressing her l-love to me as a f-friend and then few days later it feels like she's n-not the same anymore until s-she finally let it all out that she h-has feelings for me"

"and then what happened?" Mike asks

"She told me she w-was fine, she'll be in t-touch with me until I received a letter from her, I'm still confused and I don't know what she meant about it, I reread it like a million times and I think-"

"you think what?" Lucas cuts him off

"She d-doesn't want to be with me a-anymore" Eddie said the last line like he was holding his breath, he breathes out shakily

"Well, that sucked" Gareth saids while Jeff nudges him in the stomach as he gestures to be sympathetic for his friend for a moment

Steve facepalmed for a second as he tries to think of something

"What did you do after she..." Dustin glances at you before he continues "confessed to you?"

"Here's the thing, Henderson" your voice goes behind his back making Eddie tense up at the fury anger coming out from your voice

All of the boys stare at you like they've been caught

"He fucking acted like our friendship together didn't exist and let me guess he told you I was the one who got cold right?"

All of them nod and then they scrunch their faces up making it harder for Eddie

You laugh in disbelief "What y'all boys didn't know right after I confessed at him, he just acted like it was nothing, he just go on day by day like nothing happened, just like that" you shrugged

You lean down close to him, his breath hitches being you this close to him while you're in rage

"He expects me to be like?!? Do the same shit that he did?!? No fucking way" you whisper on his ear and he squeezes his eyes shut

All of the boys are intimidated seeing you like this

They're used to see you being so lovely and fun like Eddie

But now, they get it, why Eddie can't just talk you out of it

"That's why I wrote him a farewell letter to end my misery and his misery because I'm such a good person" you say the last word clutching to your heart sarcastically and smiling

Your forced smile drops, you say one more thing before you leave "Even though he doesn't deserve it" you scoffed at him while you look at him up and down

He pushed his seat back running after you

You ignore him calling out for you until he finally reaches your hand you turn around

You slapped him across his face making the other students gasped and you don't even care if the other students having prying eyes on you and him

"Oh shit!" Dustin exclaimed

The whole gang stand up from their seats, jaws are dropped and shocked as they watch the scene unfolds

There's a bit of regret of what you just did to him but you can't help it, you're just so mad at him for invalidating your feelings and you hate that you got rejected at your most beloved and important person in your whole life

You wished that you didn't confessed at him, if only you knew that this is going to happen

But it already did so.... you'll just hop in onto the fire and burn and live through the chaos of your emotions

"Don't you try to touch me again, we're through" your eyes became glossy but Eddie knew that's how you get angry

You rip his hands off from you as he watches you disappear in the cafeteria

Angry tears coming out from you eyes and he hates that he's the cause of it

He only sees that if you're having problems at your life and now he's the part of it

He hates himself for it, for letting this happen

If only he wasn't so dumb about it, this wouldn't happen

He is making this hard for you, he doesn't even know where to start

He's tearing up, half of his face burning up from the slap that you gave him, it turns to a bright red color from his cheek

All of his friends goes after him, giving him a pat behind his back

Jeff and Gareth both saying in unison "Are you okay?" he just nods weakly and he sniffles

"Now all of you believe me?" He told them referring to the question earlier "just talk to her"

"I believe you, man" Steve sighs and he gives a small smile to his friend

It's been a month ever since you slapped him

Eddie's eyes still longing on for you everytime you brush past by him

He's trying to look into your eyes and tell you that he's sorry

"I think you're too hard on him" Robin says as she offers you a cherry lollipop, you grab it and unwrapped it and you stick it out to your mouth

You watch Eddie with his friends cheering for another successful D&D meeting

Your heart aches at the sight of it, you should've been there if it wasn't for the unfortunate events that happened

Even his friends are in celebration, you can see his eyes and his smile not reaching to his ears, he is not happy because you're not there

"I think you might be right" you remove the lollipop from your mouth

Robin's voice is muffled from the lollipop as she darts her eyes to you and to him "What- wait- how's so?"

"He isn't like the kind of trying to get my attention, he stopped doing that"

Robin smirks "You miss him, don't you?"

You huffed and chuckled "There's no shame in that, and you know it, Robs, yeah I do miss him" you admit unashamedly as you popped the lollipop back in your mouth

She gives you a empathetic smile

"Why don't you try to talk to him? Maybe he is truly sorry for what he has done"

You stare at her, This is the only time you let your walls down, Robin can see that you're also longing for him

You're just wearing this facade of yours so don't that he can't see how you truly hurt

At least that's what you think

Eddie knows it and you know that he can see right through you

You gave your friend a warm smile "I'll think about it"

"I just wanted for the both of you to be happy, I don't want you guys end up giving each other's cold and hatred remarks when they can be together again" she says as she puts her hands on her pockets

You nod at her, you're now thinking deeply about it

Eddie decided to ignore you or maybe if possible, forget about you

He gets even more scared of the letter you gave him that haunts him til' his day

He'll have to learn to forgive and forget

Which is impossible

He goes out looking strong but whenever he saw you, all of his courage to not acknowledging your existence just quickly fades away

He can't sleep either, he just keeps rolling around his bed all night, he can't stop thinking about you, he doesn't even know how he can get rest enough for the next day

His body aches and he stopped trying to get talk to you, he doesn't want to argue with you anymore, he's exhausted, he knows how will end up

Another slap from his face

He groans and goes back to his previous bed position as he throws a pillow on top of his head

He knows what you need, you need space, but he's trying his best to stay away from you he can't remove himself out of you that easy

He got even more mad when he saw you talking to another guy at school

Eddie can't deny his looks, the guy is good looking, maybe he's one of the popular guys at school judging by the way he dresses

His eyes turn to jealousy, his jaw clenches when you giggled about the guy was saying to you

He furrow his brows, he's the only one who can make you laugh like that, his heart drops of what the future might be

He would rather die seeing you holding hands with another man when he must've been the one with you on his side

He'll eat his heart out on how much he loves you

Eddie walked inside of the men's restroom

"It's a good thing you let her go, man"

Eddie raises his head looking for the familiar voice in the room, he rolled his eyes when he finally see him

It's Jason fucking Carver

Until he freezes, he can't recognize him because of the dim lights but his posture and his mannerisms

It's him, he's the guy that he saw with you

He is now simmering with anger, he knows guys like Jason just get girls and leaving them after they got what they wanted like they're pieces of trash

"Just get the hell away from me, dude" he spits out

He laughs darkly "I'm giving you a piece of advice, freak"

He gives him a daggering stare at him, a warning

"Girls like her, are too much of a work, they think a lot, they're unstable and hell, too fucking sensitive"

He shakes his head at his words and scoffs, he goes by the sink and wash his hands

Jason follows suit and he leans his back as he continues to talk

"You should get yourself a girl who doesn't have anything like her, just by one look she knows what you needed"

The faucet keeps running, he pauses, he knows exactly what he mean by that and that alone just pisses him off

Jason flinches at Eddie's action by holding him up by his collar pining him behind the wall

"I don't want any girl, Jason, I only want her, I am not like you breaking every girl's heart in Hawkins High, you're full of shit!" He punches him causing him to open the men's door

Throwing Jason in the process on the floor, making every student halt their tracks as they watch the scene, Jason can't even give a fist to Eddie

Eddie grabbed Jason again by his collar as he give him 2 blowing hard punches on his face, making him bloody enough to not speak to him ever again

"Next time, Carver, I hope this will mark that you won't fucking talk to my girl that way" he pushes him down, Jason weakly nods and he grunts while he slowly crawls away from him

It's like the universe is helping you to get back together, he turned around to see you standing there

It's the only time he is seeing you not giving him any cold shoulder instead he sees shock, pity, and hopeful?

He blinks and stares at you for a bit, he turned his heels and walked away

You tried to follow him, you sigh of what you just witnessed

"Another suspension again, son?" Wayne asks as he pours himself a cup of coffee as he glances at his nephew, washing the remnants of blood from his fists, it appears to be bruised from the punch

"Yeah, I blew Carver's face off" he plainly said

Wayne almost choked from his coffee, he clears his throat

"Pardon?"

He turn around to face him "I punched him after he talked shit to my girl"

He says it all at once, he realized of what he has done, he slowly looks up from his uncle who is now staring at him with a smug on his face

"Your girl huh?" He places his newspaper down on the coffee table

He sighs in exasperation "Who am I kidding? Why am I jealous, she's not even mine"

Wayne's smug smile falls as he stands up goes over to his nephew, joining him on the couch

"Tell me, what happened, son?"

Wayne already knew to what he has done with you, of course he's upset about it, Wayne likes you so much that he treats you normally like you're a part of his family

You can also feel it whenever you spend your time at their trailer, Even Wayne doesn't say it he's not much of a big talker but it just feels natural, it's home and that added more to your pain

"She saw everything that I made a scene, I turned around and saw her there standing, I thought I'm going to receive the same glares but-" he pauses as he shifts from his seat

He looked at the framed photograph of you and him on the top shelf, both arms hanging around on each other's shoulders, his heart beats fast when he looked at your beautiful smile, he misses seeing that smile of yours

"But?" Wayne says as he puts his hand over his knee

"She doesn't do it anymore, what does it mean? Does that mean she's not a-angry at me anymore?"

Wayne is proud of himself, he taught him well, a true gentleman like he is

Except for the idiot part, that's on him

"I think she's giving you a second chance"

Eddie looked at him, he grows nervous about it

"And by that chance, boy, don't ever waste it" he points at him giving him a pointed look

Eddie nods at his uncle as he throws his head on the sofa

This is it, you're giving him a chance, he is still certain that he wants you, he will do anything to make things go back to normal

The question is.... Do you still want him? or you just wanted reconciliation from him?

Tuesday, The Hideout, Eddie is there

Forest Park Hills, you arrived at 7pm

There's so many memories that you and Eddie created in his home, just by looking at it, makes you wanna sob about it

You knocked on the door and saw Wayne standing in there

His eyes shines in delight, the moment he sees you, he has the same grin that you always loved with Eddie

He hugs you that you gladly accept

"Oh! It's you! how wonderful to see you again"

"I'm very happy to see you too, Wayne"

He pulls back and invites you inside "Come on in"

"Where's-"

"He'll be back-"

"After 11pm, yeah I know" you chuckled slightly

He goes straight into the kitchen and offers you a cup of coffee that you always liked and thank goodness he has a box of butter croissant and that he bought after his salary, a treat for him and his nephew

"Thank you" you say softly

"Why'd you come here? Not that I don't mind you coming in here everytime you want"

You're chewing on the flaky pastry "I-I felt bad for him for what I did to him"

He nods as he listens to you carefully

"He deserves to know the all of the answers that he's been dying to know"

You reach out for your mug shakily, you drink it

You can't hold back the tears anymore, you put down your mug before you can break it

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't apologize, it's okay" Wayne didn't waste time to hold your hand

You calm down for a bit as you exhale slowly

"I think he learned his lesson"

"W-What do you mean?"

"One time, he told me, he had an idea, he will be on his knees, begging for you, for mercy and ask for forgiveness"

You bursted out laughing as he laughs as well with you

"I embarrassed him, enough, Wayne, I slapped him in the cafeteria, last month"

"You- did what?" His hold on you drops as he places over his hips

You winced at of what you just did "Oh shoot, he's been through, already, Wayne, don't tell me you're going to reprimand him about it, I thought you knew"

He chuckles "He will be, if he loses this last chance"

You smile at him shyly, Wayne knew that you and Eddie had a thing for each other, both of you are just afraid, until one of you finally speaks up and turns into heartache

"I always knew, even my boy doesn't go fully into details but I know what's going on"

"Thanks, Wayne"

He never fails to make you laugh, you always feel safe whenever you're with the Munson's, he radiates the same energy like his uncle

"No, Thank you for making my dear boy happy, I don't trust that school aside from you and his friends, he got a lot of hard times on his life and I thought I would never see him this way, the moment you existed, I just know he'll be okay"

You gave him a heartwarming smile, you sniffled

For what Wayne just said, you know everything will work out just fine

While putting away the music equipments

Jeff looking at his friend, he doesn't want to meddle with his plans but he cares for his friend he just wanted to know

"Do you think you can still have her?" He asks

Eddie has this weird gut that's been going on all night, he doesn't know if it's bad or not

"I think so"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, man" he smiles genuinely and just like that his friend knew he'll be alright

"Good for you, man, I'm happy for you" he holds him by the shoulders

"Just don't do anything stupid to her this time" Gareth walks past by them while holding a big speaker

Jeff calls him out for being too hard on the words that he's giving to Eddie, he just laughs as he says "Got that!" he loves that for Gareth for being real and just speaking the truth

He is thankful for having friends like them

Eddie came home, he is in a state of shock to see you in there, laying on the couch, asleep, with his blanket

"I'm off to work, son" Wayne says as he swings his bag over to his shoulder

Before he exits, he says "You want her?"

"Yes"

"You want her back in your life?"

"Yes!"

"Then fight for her, boy" he says, he gives him an encouraging smile, he leaves while closing the door on his way

Eddie puts his beloved guitar down and places it on the side of the room to where it's safe

He crouch down to look at your face, even you're sleeping, you're so mesmerizing to look at, he missed looking at your pretty face

He watches as your chest rise and up and down, his eyes widens when he recognized the shirt that you're wearing

It's a gift that he gave to you last Christmas, his favorite Metallica bandshirt, you're wearing black leggings and a black cardigan

He can't help himself that he reaches out to touch your face and he caresses it

You stir up and your eyes flutter open and it lands on your sweet lover

"Hey"

"Hi" you rise up and sit down as you scoot over to offer him a seat

He goes under the blankets as well

You yawn and Eddie thinks it's the most cutest thing he ever seen

You rub your eyes as you looked around "Wayne?"

"Uh- he left just recently"

"Oh"

You both sat together in comfortable silence

"I'm sorry" you both turned your heads around at the same time, both saying the same thing in unison

Causing the both of you to laugh, he wheezes

After trying to calm down from your laughter

"I miss you, Eddie"

"I missed you too, sweetheart, so much"

You don't want to spoil the moment but you had to "I don't like that you keep leading me on, building up my feelings and just leave me there hanging, after I confessed my true feelings with you and you acted like it was a joke, it hurt me a lot"

"I know and I am so sorry like truly, I am, if only I go back I would've done better but I didn't"

He moves even closer to you and he can't believe that you let him hold your hand

"I regret it everyday, I hate that I was the cause of your pain, I can't sleep at night thinking about you"

You looked into his eyes, holy shit, he is telling you the truth

"I love you" There's no ounce of dishonest, zero hesitation on his voice

You gasp "That's all I ever wanted to hear"

He closed the gap between the two of you, he slammed his lips onto yours

You kissed him back, both heavily breathing, he smiles into the kiss as he swipes his tongue onto you, you sigh in content as you throw your arms around him, holding the back of his head as he deepens the kiss, you moaned

Until your back is laying flat down on the couch as you both continue to make out

It's the kiss that you always wanted and it's everything

He pulled back "Am I forgiven?" He knits his eyebrows together

"You sure are" you smiled back at him as you pull him by the collar, you kiss him passionately

Eddie might cry, the gut that he was feeling earlier was a good sign

You sat on his lap, he puts his arms around your waist, breathing your scent like it adds to his lifespan, you frown at the bruise from his knuckles

He seethed when you rub your thumb over it "I'm sorry" you whispered

"You really meant it, don't you?"

"Was me drawing blood, isn't enough for you?"

You snorted, you move your body to face him, you're now straddling him

"There's one more thing, though"

"Yes, anything for you, darling" he says as he drew circles on your forearm

"You need to prove it to me" you start grinding on him slowly, he hums, as he looks at you from up and down, he took the hint clearly

You yelped when he carries you putting you down on his bed

"Please, go easy on me, I'm fragile" you say coyly

He chortled "Look, honey, I don't want to rush-"

"Are you gonna do it or spend your rest of your life that I am not yours?" You say bitterly rolling your eyes in the process

"Fuck- ah shit! Of course, I don't want that!"

"Then fucking just do it!"

He pulls you down causing you to squeal from his action making him laugh devilishly

It makes your thighs clench, he saw it and he looks up to you "Didn't know I had a effect on you like that"

You're about to slap him again until he grabs it and puts it down

"I don't think so sweetheart, not this time"

It's the first time you got alarmed from his action, it turns you on

He leans down to whisper behind your ear "I'm the boss here"

He removes your leggings with your underwear at the same time, he removes his shirt and his pants

His eyes grow lustfully as he sees your cunt, so wet for him and only just for him

He puts his hands over your knees, to open wide for him, you shiver under his touch

You reach down at the hem of your shirt, he stops you

"Let me do it, sweet thing" he winks at you

His hand goes behind your back to unclip your bra and remove it

"Oh my gosh" he places his hand over his mouth as he looks at you, admiring your naked body

You became bashful on his gaze, you tried to cover yourself

"I'm so lucky, goddamn!" He exaggerates the last line making you giggle

As he reaches on the drawer, he pulls his boxers down, you saw the length, it's big

Your mouth became dry

"Are you still up for this, sweetheart?"

You nod at him

"I only accept verbal answers, baby"

"Yes, Eddie, I'm ready"

"I'm gonna to take care of you, just tell me if it hurts, I'll stop"

"Okay"

He distracts you from kissing you, your forehead crumples up

"Too much?"

"I can take it, hold on"

"Just relax, angel"

The moment he fills you up, you're so fuck drunk in the feeling, you can't even register that he's inside of you

He holds your hip and raises one leg as he thrusts into you slowly

You whimpered and he is so fuck drunk like as you do, your pussy squelches in the most sinful things sound ever

"Stop clenching, I won't last long" he grunts

Your eyes are heavy-lidded, you run down your hands on his chest as you copy his thrusts making him groan

"Faster, Eddie, please move"

"I got you"

He places both of your legs around his waist, he holds both of your hands as he fucks you speedily

You wrap your legs around him tightly bringing him deeper, making you moan even harder

He flushes down on you, he nuzzles over your shoulder, you wrap your arms around him, you both moan at the sweet sensation

"Wait- Eddie- d-don't stop!" Your moans turn into high pitched screams

You used your last energy to bring him around so you're place on top of him, he gasps as his face contorts into pleasure

"I-I love you so much, E-Eddie" you moan as you grind him

Eddie watches as your pussy devours his cock gliding down smoothly like it was made just for him making him buckle his hips

You arch your back and your head falls down on the side, as you continue to ride him, cheeks are flushed, your eyes are closed can't hold them longer enough, you're so lost in the feeling

Eddie sits up as he holds you close, both burning bodies with so much ecstacy feeling both of your minds, both panting, a bit sweaty for getting all worked up

You kept saying his name "Oh- Eddie- Eddie- Eddie- ah"

"I- l-love you more, sweetheart, y-you're the best thing that is ever happened t-to me, holy shit, baby" he cusses on how good you feel

Making you clench and he groans, you smile to him lazily

He pulled you even more close causing your moans into scream, you grind him so fast, he holds your hips placing your legs around him, he squeezes your breasts, he plays with your clit, making you moan even louder

You start bouncing on top of him as you remove the pieces of his hair on his face

"My p-pretty boy" you say, biting down the another wave arousal coming in

"M-my pretty g-girl" he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, he says as he holds you tight your legs are trembling, you shout his name as you both came undone

You kissed his cheek as you bring your arms around him, he is still holding you, he kisses your shoulder

"That was awesome"

There he is, the boy that you always loved, he is always unserious

You laughed, your laughing body shakes as you hide your face on his neck, you pulled back

Admiring his tattoos, he smiles down at you

Once you calmed down, he peels himself out of you, you winced at it a little, everytime he tries to pulls out slowly and carefully he says sorry, he takes care of you

He cleaned you up and helped you get dressed

He opens his cabinet, he grab a clean boxers and a pair of DIO bandshirt

He settle for his blue striped pajama pants, he stays shirtless

He says he'll be at the kitchen getting a glass of water, he offers you and you said yes

He has that silly smile again, you missed seeing that

None of that matters anymore, the important is that at the end, you're still together

You noticed a familiar polaroid picture on his bedside table, you reach for it and it reveals

It's you and him together celebrating your 20th birthday, you recognized his handwrite on the bottom, it says

"My best girl, ♡"

Your eyes are now brimmed with threatening tears to spill for any moment

"Here you go-" he stops as he sees what you're holding

"You kept it?" Your tears fall into tears of joy

He shows you a warm smile, he hand out the glass of water and you drank it, he kisses your forehead as he places the glass on the beside table

"I always kept everything that remind me of you"

Your heart flutters to what he just said, you hug him tighter making him shocked but he recovers as he realizes your muffled cries on his chest, he felt the tears that goes down

He pulled back to look at you "W-What's wrong?"

"I don't wanna lose you, Eddie, I want you forever in my life, I'm so sorry for acting like that"

"Hey, you have the every right to act that way, you have to right to be angry with me because what I did is absolutely unforgivable"

You hiccuped and he shushes you as he pulls your closer

"You didn't lose me, sweetheart"

You raise your head up to look at him, your ears are open for what he has to answer

"You save me again, I didn't stop loving you and I don't think that I never will"

His swipes the tears using his thumb, you hold him from his wrists as you say "I also don't think I could never love on another person again unless it's you"

It's his turn to cry in front of you "That is the most extraordinary thing that I ever heard"

You smiled at him as you kiss him

Eddie woke up with you laying on his shoulder, on his bed and the brightness outside, making him eyes shut again

Your arms are laying on top of his stomach afraid that he might disappear from you

The scent of the air is your sweet bergamot lavender perfume, your shampoo now lingers on his bedroom sheets, he smiles down at you kissing you on the top of your head

Eddie overheard the front door opens, he heard him removing heavy boots as he anticipates for his uncle to peek on the slightly opened door

Wayne looks over he sees his nephew already staring at him as his eyes falls on you asleep, he slowly opens the door wide making the door creak

Wayne manages to give his nephew a thumbs up causing Eddie to bite back a giggle, he freezes when you start waking up

"Goodmorning, sunshine"

"Morning, Eddie my love"

"I would never get tired hearing you say things like that"

He leans in to give you a kiss but you pulled back, he got confused "What?"

"I just got woke up and I have bad morning breath" your voice is hoarse from the sleep

He tuts "I don't care" he ignores your protest as he kisses you and you melt with it

"Hey kids, do you want me to join for breakfast? My treat?"

Wayne calls out to the both of you and you jumped at his voice, making Eddie laugh while holding on his chest

"Sure, Wayne, we'll be right there!"

You didn't remove the clothes that you wore last night, instead you eye his red checkered flannel that you always loved, you wear it fond smile coming from your lips

He wore his muscle tee black shirt and wore his another pair of sweatpants

"What do you say, sweetheart? Pancakes or Waffles?"

You laugh at the memory, you feel all bubbly inside, you washed your face and dried it with a clean towel

You brush your hair as you put on a cherry lipbalm

You walked towards him "You always end up getting the same thing" as you watch him putting a silver chain on his neck as he sprays his musk cologne on him, the scent that you always liked

"You always loved Pancakes" you placed your arms above his shoulder

"You always loved Waffles" he tilt his head onto the side as he leans down to kiss you again

"I'd say it's a date" he flashes you a cheeky smile

"It's perfect" he opens the door for you as he hugs you from behind

You, Eddie and Wayne ate happily at Benny's

Eddie always gives you a generous piece of his favorite waffle even you don't ask him to do it

The morning feels vibey and a new beginning, you take in the fresh of nice air

You rest your head on his shoulder as he does the same

You're both finally at peace and happiness once again and this time, you both know, nothing will ever comes between the two of you

🎶Ooh, I need your loving, oooh I need your loving, Ooh I need your loving tonight🎶

here's a lil' sequel of this cuties together again <3 "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy"

[genericpuff]

Hello. I wasn’t the anon from last time but I realized my question came off as rude and standoff-ish. it was actually just a genuine question of whether you think all webtoon original creators are/should be held to the same level of scrutiny as LO is. You said before that its okay for indie comics to look messy or unprofessional because they’re passion projects. But I was just thinking of all the webtoon originals that are overworked and under paid. Kind of makes me feel bad because webtoon presents them as professional works— yet treats them like indie projects. And its throwing them under the bus because they dont have any of the same resources as traditional print. When rachel gets called out for reusing panels/artworks, adding filler, and taking shortcuts it sets a precedent that all webtoon originals shouldn’t do that.

Oh you're good!!! Sorry if I came at you like a flying monkey, it was just very similar to the last set of asks so I made a faulty assumption LOL

I do think there's a lot of responsibility on WT's shoulders to do better by their creators. A lot of them are burnt out, underpaid, overworked, as you said, and I'm definitely not looking past that. The only reason I get on Rachel's case as much as I do is because she has WAY more assistants than others, people who are literally industry professionals (seriously, look up their socials/art pages sometime, some of these people literally work in the larger entertainment industries like movies and gaming, it makes it feel like their skills are being SEVERELY wasted on LO with how bad it looks week after week) and there's just a lot of evidence that points to how much Rachel lies about how much she contributes (she's also definitely one of the top earning creators on the platform, at least here in NA). That's not even getting into how much WT carries Rachel and LO on their shoulders, from giving LO extensive ad space every week (ad space that's constantly being fought for by other Originals creators who are lucky to get even a couple hours per season in the ad roulette) to outright paying for awards and articles to be written about it. Like, far be it from me to make assumptions as an outsider looking in, but I don't get the sense that Rachel is in the same ballpark of struggling that a lot of Originals creators are. If anything there are probably creators struggling to be seen right now because of WT constantly giving her and her comic preferential treatment over others. And yeah, that's on Webtoons, but you don't exactly see Rachel doing anything to lift up her peers or talk about her experiences with Webtoons the same way many other creators are and that says a lot IMO.

And, speaking as a creator and as a reader, I'm definitely not against the notion of webtoon creators using whatever shortcuts they need to use, but I still feel like there's a line you gotta draw somewhere before those shortcuts become definitively "lazy" low quality crutches. Those kinds of shortcuts can become a very slippery slope between "doing the best you can" and "making no effort at all". If I can use a creator who's not Rachel as an example, Let's Play has a LOT of this kind of thing going on.

I can totally empathize with needing to use shortcuts, I use them all the time and I'm not being burnt at both ends the same way Originals creators are, but while there is the concern that criticizing them sets a precedent that people shouldn't use them ever, there's the opposite concern that not talking about it when it's very obviously cheap sets a precedent that it's okay to give your audience garbage and still expect them to stick around and pay money for your work.

It's not really a battle that sits squarely on the shoulders of the creators, though, a lot of it does come down to Webtoons. But I think there are also creators who are just sorta like that. See Snailords as an example, they use WT underpaying them all the time as an argument/excuse for their behavior, but they're a genuinely shitty person with a nasty attitude who very blatantly manipulates their young audience (literally made up of children!) and they've been like that since before they joined WT as an Originals creator, so it doesn't matter if WT is in the picture or not, Snailords is just like that.

When it comes to Rachel, I genuinely believe that she wasn't always like this with her work, there was a time when she put actual effort into her art - but that time has been long gone since 2019/2020. And I don't think WT paying her more or loosening the strictness of her deadlines is the solution, I just think LO should have ended a long time ago before it got to that point. When LO's art and writing started to turn, there was that initial concern that it was her taking these shortcuts out of necessity for her health and work/life balance... but then there's a point where it becomes abundantly clear that the creator just doesn't care anymore and I think that's a point Rachel crossed a long time ago, probably around the start of S2 if I had to try and guess exactly where.

When it comes right down to it, Webtoons Originals is still a form of publisher, and if you sign that contract, you're going to be held to higher standards than creators who aren't because you're no longer a hobbyist, you're doing this as your job. That's not to say you don't deserve empathy ever, especially in the working climate that WT demands, but if you're gonna be working as a professional in an industry that's begging to be respected among its peers, you gotta hold yourself to higher standards. To really get across what I mean by that, if the webtoon/webcomic industry wants to be taken seriously, especially here in the west where it's competing with DC and Marvel, maaaybe it should at least have some modicum of quality control to ensure there's a mutual level of respect between the audience and the creator. I think that's something WT needs to be taking more seriously and, by extension, they should be doing more to both provide assistance and accommodations to their creators as well as quality control to ensure they're holding these works to a standard they expect people to pay for. This is especially true for a comic like LO which they're insisting still has a show in development (they aren't but that's another topic lol), of course people are gonna have higher standards for a comic that's won as many awards as it has and has gotten television and merch deals.

And aside from all that, I don't think anyone gets mad right off the bat at a comic that isn't "perfect", usually they'll just go "oh okay, this is what the comic is, it's not for me" and move on (Religiously Gay is an example of a comic like this, there was already a lot of controversy surrounding it when it came out but it was pretty clear that was just what the comic was so I didn't bother reading it further). It's when a comic starts off on a good note and builds that rep and then becomes a cheap reproduction of what it used to be that audiences tend to get more upset - because the creator has built that rep with them and set those expectations, which they're now failing. Look no further than S8 of Game of Thrones. It's often WAY more disappointing than a project just never improving in quality in the first place because you're seeing, in real time, a project you know can do better fail at that and even get worse.

I'll also mention, on a personal note, that I've found shortcuts that I tried and ultimately didn't end up liking, even if they technically improved the output of my work. I started using 3D models last year for my main project, and while they improved my anatomy consistency, now they're making my poses feel very stiff, lifeless and boring, and my characters just don't feel alive anymore. So I'd MUCH rather have expressive art that's a little messy sometimes than stiff art with an accurate hip to torso ratio. I still aim for consistency as best I can, obviously I don't want my characters' appearances to be morphing from panel to panel, but in practice, most people don't care or notice if an arm or leg is a little out of place.

All that said, when it comes to LO, I don't call that stuff out as like, a genuine legit criticism. It's more just because it's hilarious and I often can't believe I never noticed those things (which is exactly the former point I just mentioned at play, most people don't notice these things). So that's where I'll repeat, don't confuse my shitposting of LO and how silly it can look in hindsight with like, legitimate criticism that I would blanket apply to every project I read. Apply common sense where necessary. Don't ever punch down.

And maybe also just don't use me as a monolith for these things, I'm literally just a guy talking shit on the Internet and participating in some of the worst that fandom culture has to offer LOL Time will tell if I will ever pay for my crimes（；´д｀）ゞ

[dreadnotau]

Its been a decent couple of months of productive work, so it's sadly time for a schedule change. I'll be posting pages two weeks apart again. Details provided below if you're curious as to why.

In all honesty there's no big dramatic reason this time around. I've just slowly lost drive to work on Dread Not as often and as thoroughly as I used to be able to. As I said in one of my previous posts (that sounded suspiciously like this one), I want to focus on other projects as well. One of those is my personal art blog, which I've neglected even though I've had art on the backburner that I've been meaning to post for AGES. Kingdomrune is another one of those, where I have shit I could post that I just... never did. Dread Not takes a lot of time and I miss being able to dedicate that time to consuming media instead of just grinding and trying to produce my own. One of the most important things to do as an artist is to broaden your horizons and take in as much art as you can, to diversify and expand what you know and what you can make. But, when all day every day I'm just sitting and drawing my own thing, it's like I have tunnel vision and my creative resources run dry. It's starting to feel weirdly soulless on my end, because I don't feel nearly half the inspiration to make the pages as I did when the big hiatus ended. It's all dependent on time and exposure, and I can only crunch for so long before it starts to feel damaging to me instead of fun and creatively fulfilling.

So what does this mean, practically speaking? Well, for one, I'm spacing out the page upload for the rest of Act 1, as previously mentioned. I'm well aware this will kill the pacing and it'll drag out longer than it theoretically needs to, but I'd even rather that than trying to rush out a page in the Two Days I have free this week (yeah, ONLY two days free out of the ENTIRE week. Don't ask me why it's not even my fuckin' fault this time). If pages become even more scarce than 1 page per 2 weeks, blame it on college. I'm getting new subjects and I don't even know the class schedule yet. Concerning Act 2 though, I'll be changing the structure of the pages from their core. I'll be switching to a different drawing software (probably Krita, suck my dick Photoshop) so it'll take some getting used to. I can't even promise bonus content or anything during the necessary break between acts because of that shift in software happening, I've never done a massive technical move like this. However, it'll allow me to, not only work on Dread Not better, but expand my art overall, so it's definitely worth it. I've wanted to get into animation for YEARS and Krita seems like an okay place to start (the gif on this post WAS made with Photoshop, but shitty gifs are about all I can make as animations in Photoshop). Act 2's style will, predictably, differ heavily from Act 1 and (with how long writing the dialogue alone for it is taking), it might end up being Longer than Act 1, too. Visually, it'll probably be something like cleaned up and coloured sketches, with simpler colour palettes and simpler (big airquotes) visuals overall, and it'll speed up the process and possibly allow me to post more than one page at a time. Possibly. That's not a promise.

I'm sorry if that's disappointing to anyone, but I physically can't make myself continue the current artstyle across all acts. It's just not feasible.

For those curious about the FARTHER future of Dread Not, I have plans to turn Act 3 into a series of fics rather than full comic pages, and something maybe a bit more insane for Act 4. I don't have everything figured out yet, and I don't want to make any false promises or give any grand ideas I won't be able to commit to, since only time will tell how my creativity will flow years from now. If you all want more content from me specifically, again I'm planning on reviving my art tumblr like a half buried zombie, and you'll probably see more there than you bargained for once I actually get into the habit of posting things. If you're mayhaps interested in my original stuff, keep your eyes peeled for a guy called Duro, I might start posting about him some time soon.

As always, thank you for your patience, and apologies again if this news was disappointing to anyone. I'm just one guy and this comic is a titan of biblical proportions. I'll keep you all posted on any further developments and plans for the future! Stay tuned!

[yourpalwhale]

HIHIHIIIII wanna geek out abt the comics?? :D

YOU'RE ALL SO KIND HERE........ I ABSOLUTELY DO!!!!! Granted I only started the comics last week and just got to shattered grid yesterday, I am still absolutely insane over it.

I was NOT expecting these comics to be as well written as they are. I love the shows as much as the next person but there are certainly hit or miss seasons and a lot of it is toned down for the kid audience, but the comics have NONE of that. Mmpr especially has a much more serious tone,(granted I haven't gotten that far into ggpr yet bc of the reading order I'm following) and it's so refreshing to see. Like Tommy has Trauma from his time under Rita and having that loss of control and being made to hurt people, that AFFECTED him and it's shown! Rita literally Haunts him and it's so good.

We see so much more of the team dynamics and I LOVE IT!! Don't even get me started on Trini and Billy because they are the best of friends and learn so much from each other, there's so much trust and love there it makes me insane. Zach and Jason's relationship is so sweet too because they care about each other even if it's not said, it's shown through actions. Zach regularly comes to check on Jason while he's at HQ burning himself out and Zach says it's because he was bored, or just wanted to train, but he and Jason know it's because he's worried about him and doesn't want to leave him alone. Neither of them are all that open with their emotions but they're still so There for each other. This team is everything to me because they're just so close.

And now the first shattered grid issue...... dude... DUDE. I was CRYING!!! Time force is my favourite all time team so I got so excited when they showed up and OW.....??????? I don't know what that crack did to the team but I am hoping so hard that at the very least Lucas, Katie and Trip are alive. I also have hope about Wes but that may just be denial....... he's one of my favourite red rangers I'm sure he has plot armour or something. And JEN.... I have that full page panel of her w/ Kimberly and Tommy as my lockscreen because it's so.... everything to me. Jen is an Adult with experience in the field as a time force officer and as a power ranger and she's holding it together because she's the only one who knows what's going on and she has to be strong for these Teenagers looking up to her. They just lost one of their own and the universe is at stake, and they're just Kids. Jen just lost her team and her LOVER but she has to be strong for them right now. I don't know.... Jen and her grief. She's one of the most well written power rangers characters and it shows!!!!

I have a lot more I could say (LORD DRAKKON...?!?!??) but it's pretty late rn and I'm probably forgetting somethings but I'm SO excited to get into the comics more

[marypsue]

Anyway. Who here likes evil cheerleaders, melodramatic teenage goths, homoerotic loathing, Christopher Pike and Fear Street books, the Satanic Panic, and cheesy horror-comedy? Who here would like an exclusive sneak peek at the first chapter of Fearleading Squad?

Well, tough luck, because you're getting one anyway.

...

Bad Moon Rising

Steve was the first to go missing.

He had a last name, probably, but Avery didn’t know it. She was just used to seeing his lanky, zitty self, limp greasy hair and facial piercings and ill-fitting black clothes, reading a comic book with his feet up behind the counter of the Movie Gallery. Or seeing the rusted-out camper van he was rumoured to live in parked in the gravel lot behind the tourist information centre, where he sold shitty weed with about as much enthusiasm and entrepreneurial spirit as he brought to the video store gig. He was a fixture around town, as much a part of the landscape as the sign on the highway advertising the annual rodeo or the grain elevator by the train tracks. Something you saw so often that you stopped seeing it at all.

Until he wasn’t.

It was the van Avery noticed missing first. It took her a while to register that it was even gone. Steve was in the tourist info lot some days, and wasn’t on others. Avery never really paid attention, unless she wanted shitty weed, which wasn’t often.

So the camper van had been gone for a week or more before it really registered.

Once Avery’d noticed that the van was gone, though, it was impossible to miss. Steve was never at the Movie Gallery anymore, and when Avery asked the manager, Trish made a face and said he’d been a no-show for all his shifts for the last week and a half. “He might at least have had the decency to let me know he quit,” she grumbled, passing Trick or Treat under the scanner and accepting Avery’s handful of change. “Asshole threw off my entire shift schedule. I had to rework the whole thing from scratch.”

“Is that…like him?” Avery asked, and got a shrug and an eyeroll in return.

Even Arlon didn’t know, when Avery cornered him at the library to ask. Arlon Thwaite, who swore blind that his middle name, Wizzard, was an old family name and only by fortunate coincidence a Terry Pratchett reference, was one of maybe three people in the world Avery considered friends. He was also the most insufferable person she knew. But then, Avery was the most insufferable person a lot of people in town knew. Maybe that was part of the reason why they were friends.

“Yeah, he’s flaked on our last two Pathfinder sessions,” Arlon offered casually, in between reshelving Danielle Steel novels. “But he’s always flaking out on us for one reason or another. I didn’t really think anything of it.” He paused to look over at Avery, his eyes growing brighter behind the thick lenses of his aviator-style glasses as he offered, or maybe threatened, “If you wanted a seat at the table -”

“Over your dead body.”

“Don’t you mean, ‘over my dead body’?”

“No, because I’d kill you and desecrate your corpse before I’d play a tabletop game with that crowd of wastoids you call friends.”

A middle-aged woman with a truly impressive feathered bouffant, sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs by the window, looked sharply up from the Agatha Christie she was nose-deep in to frown at Avery. Avery threw the horns in her direction, and snickered when her frown got deeper and more alarmed.

“People in this town,” Avery sighed as she turned back to Arlon, who nodded agreement.

“She can act all innocent and scandalised. But she and her ilk are the biggest borrowers of these bodice-rippers.” He paused, holding up the copy of Fine Things he was tucking back onto the shelf. “And you know I once found pubes stuck in between the pages of one of these? I don’t even want to know what kind of horrors our patrons are committing against these poor, innocent former trees.”

Avery barely managed to stifle a horrified burst of laughter.

Arlon shrugged, and went back to reshelving romance. “Hope Steve didn’t skip town. He’s still got my copy of Neuromancer. And I don’t think he even started to read it.”

…

School started again three days later, and Avery mostly forgot about Steve and his mysterious disappearance. She had other things to worry about. Ms. Feldman, and her one-woman crusade against nose rings. The idiot jocks in shop class.

And the new girl in her homeroom.

“Why would any sane person move from LA to here?” Avery grumbled to Courtney, over her clingwrapped tuna sandwich. “What could we possibly have to offer that LA doesn’t?”

“Manure?” Courtney suggested. “Tornadoes?”

Avery had to stop herself from snorting chocolate milk out her nose.

“Tiffany Bright,” she said, once the coughing had subsided. The words seemed to warp her mouth into a sneer around them. “What kind of a name even is that? Might as well just call yourself Barbie Hollywood.”

Courtney took a sip of her Tab before cautiously offering, “She’s really not so bad. Seems nice. We’ve got tryouts for the cheer squad tonight, and she said she’d be there.”

“My condolences,” Avery said, and Courtney snorted.

…

Avery wasn’t obsessed.

There was just…something off about Tiffany. Something too fake about her perfectly coordinated outfits, her perfectly combed, perfectly curled perky blonde ponytail, her big, perfectly blue eyes with their fan of thick dark lashes, her perfect pearly smile, never too narrow or too wide. Something about how everything she said came out sounding faintly mocking. Something about how she looked at you, like she knew something you didn’t. Like she could see toilet paper stuck to your shoe or something stuck in your teeth, and she’d decided it’d be funnier not to tell you about it.

She got onto the cheer team. Of course.

“I just don’t like that bitch,” Avery grumbled to her beat-up black boots, behind the gym, where she was sneaking a cigarette and Mallory was trying to avoid breathing in her smoke. By the way Mallory was coughing into the pin-studded lapel of her hand-me-down denim jacket, it wasn’t working. Mallory’s dad worked in demolition, and she had seven older brothers and sisters. Avery didn’t think she’d ever owned a brand-new anything. “She’s such a kiss-up, acts like she makes sugar taste sour. But we don’t know anything about her. For all we know, she killed Steve. Shit, I’ll bet you five bucks she did kill Steve.”

“Oh, yeah,” Mallory agreed sarcastically. “For some kind of Satanic ritual, probably. Really seems like her style. Bet she ate him, too. I hear human tastes kind of like chicken.”

“Pork,” Arlon corrected her, and Mallory shot him a glare. “Human’s the other other white meat.”

“What is he even doing here,” Mallory demanded of Avery, darting a sidelong glare at Arlon, who’d gone back to ignoring her. “Don’t you have freshmen to try to corrupt to the dark side?”

“I don’t play with freshmen anymore,” Arlon said haughtily, giving his ginger ponytail a dismissive flick back over his shoulder. “After that last little shithead spent three whole sessions constantly yelling ‘I cast fireball!’ and trying to seduce everything with tits, I’ve sworn them off. They can get themselves corrupted by the dark forces behind tabletop gaming without my help. The only person I’m interested in corrupting is this one.” He nudged Avery with one shoulder, and she rolled her eyes.

“You’re never getting me to join one of your stupid games.”

“Maybe not,” Arlon admitted, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Maybe not. But you will listen to Rush.”

“How many times do I have to tell you -”

Mallory thwacked Avery square across the chest with the back of one arm, interrupting her. “Hey. That’s her, isn’t it?”

Avery looked.

It was, indeed, Tiffany fucking Bright making her way across the football field, unmistakeable and unmissable in her bright red nylon shorts and perfectly fitted pale pink tee shirt. The way her perfectly-curled ponytail bounced – and her perfectly-proportionate bust didn’t – as she jogged up to the brick wall beside the dumpsters where Avery was smoking seemed vaguely unnatural. So did the way the little gold cross she wore on a fine gold chain around her neck winked and flashed with each bouncing step, but never tangled, never twisted, never worked its way around to the back. The scrunchie tying back Tiffany’s ponytail perfectly matched the red of her shorts. And the stripe along the top of the slouchy white socks peeking out above her pristine white sneakers. Her smile was almost as white as the sneakers.

God, Avery hated her.

If Tiffany felt the same, she was hiding it well. “Hey. It’s Avery, right? Avery DiAngelo? You’re in Mr. Dancy’s homeroom?”

“Yeah.” Avery took a long, exaggerated drag on her cigarette, and puffed the smoke out toward Tiffany’s face. Tiffany, unfortunately, did not evaporate in the puff. She also didn’t start to look at all uncomfortable. Only vaguely annoyed. “What do you want.”

Tiffany gave her head a little toss, making her ponytail flick back and forth behind her like its namesake. “I was wondering why you didn’t try out for the cheer team. We’ve got a vacancy, and Courtney said she used to do gymnastics with you. That you were really good.”

On the list of things Avery might have expected Tiffany to say to her, that was at the very bottom. She had no idea what to say.

Thankfully, her friends had her covered.

Mallory took a step forward, putting herself halfway between Tiffany and Avery. Beside Tiffany’s wheat-gold curls, Mallory’s brassy box-dye blonde looked especially loud and cheap and fake, her mousy roots dark in the crisp September sunlight. “Who died and made you head cheerleader?”

The little smile that quirked up the corners of Tiffany’s perfect lipgloss-glistening rosebud mouth was, as usual, too knowing. Like something about what Mallory had said was funny, and not for any reason Mallory knew.

“Nobody,” she said, with that constant mocking edge and a flash of blinding teeth, eyes darting past Mallory to meet Avery’s. “Yet.”

God, Avery hated her.

She also kind of hated Arlon for snorting, like he actually thought Tiffany’s bullshit was funny. Honestly. Boys. Let a perky blonde say two words in front of them, and even the most determined nonconformist completely loses his mind and starts thinking maybe he’s got a chance.

A quick elbow to the ribs seemed to momentarily cure Arlon of that disease, though. He coughed into a fist, before hastily agreeing, “Avery’s not part of your juvenile cult of physical attractiveness. And doesn’t want to be.”

Tiffany smiled, a slow, spreading grin that showed off the blinding white of her teeth. Like she’d also caught that bit about ‘physical attractiveness’.

Avery applied another elbow to Arlon’s ribs.

She took one last, long drag on her cigarette, before giving the butt a flick. It landed on the crumbling asphalt right between Tiffany’s pristine white sneakers. Tiffany looked down at it, and then back up at Avery, with something other than sneering fake-friendliness for the first time since she’d come over.

“What are you still doing here,” Avery suggested, into Tiffany’s laser-blue stare.

Tiffany blinked those blue eyes shut, for a second, giving her hair a toss as she fixed a smile back onto her face. This one was…not quite perfectly even, not like every other smile Avery’s ever seen her wear. Avery couldn’t look away, trying to figure out what it was that the smile was slipping away to reveal. “Avery hasn’t given me an answer yet. Have you, Avery.”

Her eyes bored into Avery’s. “Unless you always make your friends do all your dirty work.”

God, Avery hated her.

“If Courtney told you we used to be in gymnastics together,” she said, after a moment’s consideration, “then she also told you she’s tried a million times to get me to try out for cheer. What makes you think I’d do it for you if I wouldn’t do it for my actual friend?”

Tiffany’s eyes narrowed like a cat who’d just spotted a mouse.

“Nothing in particular,” she said, the bubble back in her voice. Along with that mocking, knowing edge that made Avery want to grind her teeth. “Fine. I’ll let it go. For now.”

She started to turn, ponytail bobbing, but stopped to glance back at Avery. This time, the smile was seamless. “But you’re going to find out. I can be very persuasive.”

The heel of her sneaker crushed Avery’s cigarette butt into the asphalt as she started to jog away.

…

“Hey, did you – stop screaming, it’s me – did you tell that Tiffany girl I was in gymnastics?”

“Avery!” Courtney slammed her bedroom door behind her, her Jack Russell terrier slipping through behind her with a shimmying little wiggle right before the door met the crisp white trim of the frame. “You have got to stop coming in that window without warning me first. Aw, Grady, how many times! Not on the bed.”

Grady looked up at Courtney from the pile of pillows at the head of her bed with his long, pink tongue lolling out of a wide, guileless doggy smile, and wagged his tail.

Avery reached out and gave Grady a scratch behind the ears, and his eyes sank shut in obvious bliss. Courtney rolled her eyes before she bounced down onto the tattersall-checked comforter, sending a pillow shaped like a stubby pencil crayon tumbling to the floor. “You’re the reason he thinks he can be up here,” she scolded Avery mildly, reaching out to give Grady an absent stroke herself. “You keep rewarding him for doing what I tell him not to.”

“Oh, like I’m the only one scratching his ears right now,” Avery teased back.

“You started it.” Courtney gave Grady one more good pat on the rump, before scooting back on the bed, grabbing another brightly-coloured pillow and hugging it to her chest. “And it might have come up that we did tumbling together as kids. Why?”

“Because your new best friend sniffed me out during gym class to ask me to fill a vacant spot on the cheer team.” Avery gave one of Grady’s ears a gentle tug. “What do you think, boy? Should I finally toss your mama a bone and join her silly pompom-waving airhead club?”

Grady barked, as if on cue, at the word ‘bone’. Avery stifled a laugh.

When she looked up, though, Courtney wasn’t smiling.

For a second, Avery thought she’d gone too far with the airhead comment. But Courtney didn’t even seem to have noticed. She’d drawn her knees up to her chest, ankles crossed, and she’d gone from hugging the pillow to gripping it like a life preserver. “Courtney?”

Courtney gave her head a little shake, her permed chestnut curls bouncing with the movement. The smile she forced looked wan and unconvincing. “Nothing. Just – I’m kind of glad right now that you always say no, whenever I try to get you to join. It’s just so not you. And now that we’re going into senior year…honestly, I don’t even know if I’m going to have time for the team.”

Avery stopped moving with her hand resting between Grady’s shoulderblades, his fur silky-soft and so warm under her fingers. “What? You live and breathe cheerleading.”

Courtney grimaced. She didn’t say anything more.

Avery sat up on the bed, Grady whimpering a little at the loss of her scritches. “Is that bitch making trouble for you? Because you’re still the head cheerleader, you know. Kick her ass out.” When Courtney only hugged her pillow a little tighter, burying the bottom half of her face in its poof, Avery added, “If you don’t wanna do it, I’d be more than happy to. I’ll take her up on her offer, and then you and I can -”

“Don’t.”

The force behind the single word surprised Avery into silence.

Courtney sighed, and leaned back against the white-painted iron frame that curved up along the long side of her bed like the back of a couch, where it was pushed up against the wall. “I can handle Tiffany, okay? She’s not the first new recruit who came in with a twisted idea of what being part of the cheer squad is all about. I just really don’t want you getting caught up in the middle of it. That wouldn’t be any good for either of us.”

Avery wasn’t sure why that stung the way it did. It wasn’t like she’d wanted to join the cheer team, anyway.

“Okay,” she said, uncrossing her legs and pushing herself up off the bed. “But then actually leave me out of it, okay? No more hot gossip about how I used to be able to touch my toes to the back of my head. I don’t really feel like being a pawn in you and Tiffany’s power play, either.”

Courtney shot her a tight-lipped smile. She didn’t look happy.

But all she said was, “Okay.”

…

A week later, Mallory turned up to school in a brand-new cheerleading uniform.

[lutiaslayton]

So uh. Hi, I finally made a decision I probably should have made a long while ago thanks to talking a bit on Discord: for the sake of my sanity I will not be keeping up the weekly schedule after all 😔 Layton's Book Club updates WILL be posted exclusively on Saturdays at the decided time, instead of at any random time in the week, and I will likely make a few heads up when we're on a lucky week during which you'll get an update, but I will not force myself to make it happen every single week. Simply because at least right now, it is physically impossible for me to do so. (Chapter 1 Part 1 of Illusory Forest is going to be the end of me, and not just because I am still questioning if the author was under the influence of some Folsense gas while writing it.)

That being said, I believe this should actually be treated as good news, and not just good news for my personal health. Because, sure, the updates will not come out as often as I had originally planned to. But in the long run, I actually believe that since I no longer plan to force myself to only work on one thing (which has progressively been eating at my sanity on top of that because darn it this chapter is stupid and it just doesn't seem to END, + it'd be nice if I could finally get some content out that is my creation rather than somebody else's), it means that I will actually allow myself to post more diverse Layton stuff in the meantime.

Stuff like the Evan Barde post I made a few days ago, or other helpful-for-the-fandom stuff that isn't translation work, or… even maybe stuff like finally allowing myself to write SLS and draw random stuff again? Or even read other people’s fanfics and comics and AUs and stuff? (ok technically that last one would probably not lead to tumblr content but shush it means I would take time to look at YOUR content for a change)

The list of stuff I'd like to post in the future includes but is not limited to:

A tutorial on how I get my translation stuff done despite the fact that I do not actually speak Japanese. Best case scenario, this might even lead to some brave people among you to start helping me with this monumental task that is translating multiple novels and games from scratch while you're not even fluent in the language you're translating, and this would be a MASSIVE weight off my back. (spoiler alert: while I do use DeepL to check stuff and/or get inspiration, my work is NOT limited to simply copy/pasting sentences into it and then copy/pasting whatever it gives me back)

The Playthrough series! You had all forgotten about it, hadn't you? Yeah, me too.

Lore analysis stuff in general. I have a massive, absolutely insane project ongoing which is basically "Want to find some info about X? Just open that one (1) web page, enter a few tags such as a specific character's name or location, clich the Search button, and get a list of every single known fact which is related to all of your tags which is summarised down to the bare minimum fact, along with the exact source and quote directly taken from the source material."

Puzzle theory stuff. I've talked about it a lot, it'd be cool if I could finally get the stuff sorted and actually provide all the evidence supporting, refining or challenging it in one place. Above-mentioned lore analysis stuff should help with that.

More fancy shitpost such as the ones found in the #lutiasdraws tag. Let me join in on the fun pls it's good for my mental health to get some serotonin out of non-boring stuff. Heck, perhaps I might even do fanart/shitpost about some fanfics/AUs/others I find and enjoy.

That being said, I apologise to everyone who was hyped at the idea of Illusory Forest updating weekly, but I hope you'll still enjoy the stuff I'll be posting here. If not, blacklisting tags is a thing! I tag everything diligently so for example if you're tired of seeing me ramble about stuff (I do that a lot lately, sorry for that 😭), you can just block the #lutiastalks tag. Yes I finally decided to make #lutiasreplies exclusive to actually replying to asks or reblogs, and use #lutiastalks for random news stuff. yay to self-care and cleaning up my house, head, and tumblr blog.

[skyberia]

some "behind the scenes" stuff from this comic (read as: wips and assorted thoughts)

SOME BACKSTORY: i was halfheartedly playing through strikers after finishing p5r. the fact that akechi's not even mentioned in that whole game made me sad. the fact that akechi stops being mentioned basically the moment he dies in p5 vanilla makes me sad. i had thoughts. so i decided to make a comic about it

i wrote down the entirety of the script for this while in a complete haze listening to third eye by florence + the machine on repeat for an hour straight. that song has nothing to do with anything the comic is about. or with either of the characters involved. i can't explain my thought process there.

(the 'official' title of the comic is "a ghost amongst the living (consequences of a cognitive death.)" as a sort of tribute to that song, even though it has, again, nothing to do with what the comic is about)

THE SCRIPT: the numbers correlate to text bubbles on my thumbnails (see next). i also put it on discord so i could more easily see it/edit from either my phone or computer, which i don't think is the MOST efficient or professional way to go about doing this, but

you may notice this is a little bit different from the text on the final product. this is because. i changed some things while typing it out for the final thing. i don't know what else to tell you.

i did reach a point where i had read these same words over and over so much that i started questioning if anything i wrote made sense and if i even knew how to speak english correctly. i'd like to thank my friends for reassuring me that some of my wording was ok, and also google because every time i asked "is that even a thing people say" i would just plug it on there to try to figure it out (because i was too embarrassed to ask anyone to read over it)

THE THUMBNAILS: just a rough idea of panelling and where to put text bubbles and such. this took fucking forever. comics are hard. nobody ever tells you this (<- something i said about like 10 times to the same people while making this)

THE SKETCHES: basically grabbing the thumbnails and making them into an actual thing i can draw onto. also getting all the text laid out-- i don't think that's entirely necessary at this point but i was just excited to see it all laid out and being able to read it

(shoutout to my friend sophie for making the font i used for this/use for all my longer comics. she's an icon and a legend and has really nice handwriting)

you may notice that page 9 is completely different from the thumbnails. this is because i was tired by the time i got to that part in planning and i paid for it. brainstorming & reworking that page took me an entire day. comics are HARD. I AM TELLING YOU THIS

page 6 also changed by the time i got around to lining it because i decided that it sucked and i hated it. reworking that into something more acceptable also took me about half a day. i'm happy with how it turned out though, and glad that i no longer have the issue of having a flop ass page in the middle of this

THE PROCESS: was actually quite straightforward after that, just doing the lines and the like. but i wanted to share how i did the backgrounds. i grabbed a bunch of in-game screenshots i took for reference and just plugged them through csp's "artistic > lines only" filter and just traced over that

i love you art shortcuts that make my life & ability to make yaoi comics easier

(if you're curious too here's all the screenshots i took & was keeping on the side for reference)

ETC: some miscellaneous thoughts, because if you've made it all the way through this then you probably don't have anything better to do anyway:

all in all this took two weeks. script was written on the 11th, thumbnails were done on the 14th, sketches were done on the 17th, lining on the 24th, aaand colouring took me just one day. comics are HARD and TAKE TIME. NOBODY TELLS YOU THIS!!!!!

i actually started getting wrist pain somewhere along the 2nd day of lining/3rd page. that step of the process probably took longer than it otherwise would because i had to keep taking breaks 2 ensure i wouldn't break my hand completely -_-

my sanity throughout the lining process was only ensured by listening to a frankly stupid amount of jpop. thank you wednesday campanella and mrs. green apple

i think my favourite page is page 3. i like how the panels get crooked when akechi puts the detective prince persona on, i like how akira deadpans (in a straightened panel) to cut him off. also in order to get the hand right in the first panel i did the hair twirling motion myself and ended up hitting myself in the eye with my own hair. it was worth it though

IN CONCLUSION: i think they went a bit too hard with the yaoi fanservice in persona 5 royal

[journeytomonkiekid]

FAQ

gonna make one of these. I'll update it as I go along:

Story Questions:

Q: How old is Wan Ji A: At the start of the comic; she's 27 Q: When does this comic take place A: Chapter 0 begins a few days after S1E9 "Macaque". Chapter 1 took place a week after. (roughly) Chapter 2 took place between S1E9 and S1E10. CH 3 takes place in the Season 2 Special "Revenge of The Spider Queen" CH 4 takes place during Sleep Bug and maybe even Dumpling Destruction as they seem to happen fairly close to one another. (S2E1 and S2E2 respectively) CH 5-6 takes place during Sweet and Sour CH 7 has no specific time frame but is before Shadow Play.

Q: Are Macaque and Wan Ji a couple? A: Not yet. Wan Ji, by Chapter 3, saw Macaque as her friend. Macaque doesn't know how he feels. Neither are romantically involved yet. (Will be updated)

Q: Will Wan Ji meet more characters from Lego Monkie Kid? A: The hope is; yes. Most likely not any time soon though.

Q: What does Wan Ji's name mean? A: 聶 Nie - Whispering; 晚 羇 Wan Ji - Night Traveller

Q: Is [insert event here] gonna happen? A: If you send me an ask like this; I probably can't answer it because it risks spoilers; or answering it will give people false ideas of where the story is heading. The only time I'll answer is if it's something blatantly concerning.

Q: What will Wan Ji and Mac's children look like?/Will Wan Ji and Mac have kids?/any question regarding children. A: Wan Ji and Macaque will never have children. It makes me very uncomfortable to be asked this so please don't. At best they will be a big sibling/auntie/uncle to a younger character. You don't have to be a nuclear family to be a family.

Technical Questions:

Q: How long does it take you to make a page? A: There's no specific amount of time. It depends entirely on energy, schedule, and my brain's ability to focus that day. If I focus really hard, I can get it done in maybe 5 hours start to finish, but it rarely goes that way. Q: What programs do you use? A: Clip Studio Paint for everything comic related.

Q: Can I translate your comic? A: Please don't unless you're willing to stay in contact with me to do so. I've had bad experiences with mistranslations and people making dialogue changes in bad faith. I'd rather not catch fire for that. If you decide to do it anyway, understand that I am not affiliated.

Q: How do you build Chinese names? A: I'm not an authority on the matter. You should research the subject for yourself.

Q: What's the difference between a Huli Jing and a Kitsune, and why can I not call it the latter? A: Japanese imperialism still affects people in china to this day. Kitsune is the Japanese variant of the Huli Jing; but the Huli Jing predates it. I don't feel comfortable using Japanese words to describe Chinese myths, especially with the already rampant disrespect towards chinese culture that exists in this fandom.

For further explanation; the difference between the Huli Jing and Kitsune are dependant on the telling. Kitsune are rice deities, are capable of possession, and most importantly, are Japanese. Huli Jing, as far as I've been able to find, are shapeshifters, who can change into a human once they've found the skull that fits their heads perfectly. The over-populartiy of kitsunes makes it extremely difficult to find any information on most Chinese originating mythology, and I would personally like to make an effort to change that. TLDR: calling it "Kitsune" instead of "Huli Jing" is racist.

Q: Do you have a personal blog I can follow? A: I do but it's not an art blog. It's just a personal blog where i reblog stuff i like: @witchofspades

Q: Will you do a tutorial on [insert subject]. A: No. I don't have time. Besides; following tutorials will not help you improve on art, especially not my tutorials.

Q: Do you have tips on [insert subject]? A: I've included all my posts about tips and tricks in the masterpost. Please check that first. If its not there, I might give some tips, but I don't really have a lot to tell. A lot of my art process is experimenting.

Q: Can I draw your characters?/Can I write fanfic about them?/can I tag you in fanart/etc. A: Of course! You don't need to ask about that! As long as it respects the rules.

[milesmentis]

🕯️🐇🎨 if you're still taking these?

I absolutely am! [Questions here]

on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Unequivocal 10! I ... am a fiend ... and greatly prefer editing to writing anything new at all. This year, I've been trying to build better habits and set aside a minimum of one hour a week to put new words on the page (however few or fraught they might be). It's helping and I am at last making progress as I slowly recover from a crippling case of burnout. But my favorite thing to do in the world is beta reading my friends' work and sometimes that burst of serotonin and feeling of accomplishment from helping them make their thing better is enough to jump start my own creativity! Usually though it just inspires me to re-read my wips ... tweak a few sentences ... and close the laptop.

do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

Original characters, 100% of the time (although let's be real, they are all at least a little bit self-insert too). Most of them are either mine or Daisy's, but I also think it's a particular delight to borrow my friends' and mutuals' OC's from time to time.

When I think of "reader insert" I always think of the "y/n" format which is probably my top Nope Trope in fandom. I get the appeal, but I personally can't stand it and will go out of my way to avoid it (Oops accidentally answered 🧩). Since Dragon Age is so choice based and has so many moving parts, I've occasionally written things that are vague enough that you could mentally slot in [Your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor] here when relevant, but they're outliers. I also write exclusively in 3rd person, so the only way I can really swing that is if it's from a canon character's POV (like with the Surgeon/Cole ficlet buried down at the very bottom of my WIP pile)

link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I was going to be extra self-indulgent and link any of the art pieces I've commissioned of Daren, but no, it's going to be this comic spread based on The Adventure Zone: Balance

It's patently obvious that I am in love with TAZ:Balance and I positively adore this poem. The art style is impeccable and of course anything with themes of longing, love, loss, and regret cuts me right to the quick

[reynold-eckhart-supremacy]

I haven't done an intro post yet, so I'm just going to put a VADD fanfic I wrote to start off. It contains spoilers-- actually I may accidentally drop spoilers after completely forgetting that there exist people that haven't read the Villains are Destined to Die Novel, so BEWARE.

Also, I'm a Reynold stan -- this account is dedicated to him -- but if you want to send asks for another fanfic (you probably won't since my writing is nothing special and you're about to see that for yourself), I can do that for you too.

Lastly, if you actually read my fanfics or even just look at my blogs in general, take some of this: ❤❤❤❤❤. I'll pray you get to meet your very own Reynold in life. Here, I'll even bless your eyes right here and now for reading this far --

Anyway, here it is. My fanfic I mean. Kinda weird but ok:

Late at night, when the moon was high in the sky, Reynold quietly snuck into the palace through the secret path he had discovered. Determined to have some fun and meet his niece after what felt like years but was actually only a few hours, he tiptoed through the corridors until he reached Judy's room. Why did he have to do this, you ask? The answer is simple. He had been banned from entering the imperial palace after getting caught a week ago teaching Judith how cigarette kisses were done by Duke Eckhart. He insisted the former Duke was lying, but then Judy started asking Penelope to cigarette kiss her and who else could teach her that, honestly. Side note, Callisto cigarette kisses Penelope later, except with candy… I'll write about this later. REDO--

Late at night, when the moon was high in the sky, Reynold quietly snuck into the palace through the secret path he had discovered. Determined to have some fun and meet his niece after what felt like years, he tiptoed through the corridors until he reached Judy's room. They had planned to meet the previous night when he snuck in for the first time after being banned from entering the imperial palace by his sister yet again. He brushed his bangs to the side, thinking about how unfair it was that literally anyone could come and see his niece at any time but he couldn't and whispered a curse. "Dammit. Damn my fucking life." Ok, maybe it was more than just a curse. Feeling a little better, he quietly pushed the door open.

Judy, who was wide awake and waiting for him, greeted him with a cute smile. "Uncle Reynold, you're here!" she whispered excitedly.

Reynold put his finger to his lips, signaling her to keep quiet, feeling excited about seeing his niece. Nobody could separate them. "Shhh, we have to be sneaky," he whispered back. "I learned something cool earlier and thought to share it with you, Judy." he said, entering her room and closing the door behind him.

Judy's eyes sparkled with anticipation. She loved their secret night-time adventures..

Reynold pulled out a small notebook from his pocket, flipping it open to a page filled with doodles and funny drawings. "Tonight, my dear Judy, we're going to learn the ancient art of speaking in silly accents," he declared, smiling his stupidly cuter that Judy's grin.

Judy giggled, covering her mouth to stifle the sound. "Silly accents? Like what, Uncle?"

Reynold cleared his throat dramatically and began speaking in a comically exaggerated accent. "Well, my darling niece, we shall start with the renowned 'Penguin Accent.' You must speak as if you have a beak and waddle around like a penguin. Watch me!"

And, on that note, Reynold actually demonstrated his best penguin impersonation, waddling around the room and flapping his arms. Judy burst into laughter, unable to contain her amusement.

Meanwhile, Penelope, who had been woken by a nightmare, sensed that something was amiss. Concerned for her daughter's well-being, she quietly approached Judy's room, with Callisto trailing behind.

As they opened the door, they were greeted by a sight that made them both gasp in surprise. There was Reynold, wearing a silly penguin hat and speaking in an outrageous accent, while Judy mimicked his actions, laughing uncontrollably.

Penelope's jaw dropped in utter shock, but quickly recovered and gritted her teeth in annoyance while Callisto couldn't help but smile at the absurdity of the situation.

"Reynold. Eckhart." she hissed through her teeth.

Caught off guard, Reynold froze mid-waddle, his face turning beet-red. "Uh. P-Penelope! Th-that… this… this isn't what you think it is, I… We were just having a bit of fun, you know… teaching Judy some… unique skills!," he stammered, trying to find an explanation.

"You were banned from entering the palace because your personality was rubbing off on her!! If you were going to visit-- Wait how did you even get here?!"

"Uh… that's…"

Penelope crossed her arms, clearly pissed. She was joyed at the fact that she was greeted by the sight of her daughter laughing with pure joy and having great fun, but Reynold was not as welcome. The things he taught her were simply outrageous, and her daughter was only five, so she didn't know any better and shared all the things Reynold taught her with all sorts of people, and Reynold didn't always teach her things like penguin dances and accents -- Penelope had worked so hard to make Callisto's foul mouth disappear so that their daughter would be more proper than that, but a month ago, the butler informed the both of them that little Judy was going around asking every staff member in the palace what 'a hell' was! The more she thought about it, the more annoyed Penelope became.

Callisto, sensing this placed a hand on Penelope's shoulder.

"It's alright, my Empress. At least Judy's having fun. We should increase secur---"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

He was interrupted the the sound of a scream filling the room, and the both of them, who were just gazing at each other, turned their heads in Reynold's direction.

"WHAT THE F**** ARE YOU DOING IN FRONT OF YOU FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD?!" he yelled, horrified, and at this, Judy starting screaming too.

~ And that, children is how Reynold Eckhart died at the tender (?) age of 30 years old ~

Wait it probably doesn't make sense to say this here, but I'm Adeline. Call me Ally!

[quartzelaii]

Perfectly Aligned

CHAPTER II

— L/N Y/N, best friend to Kageyama Tobio since age 6. L/N Y/N, the object of all Tsukishima Kei's desires since age 15.

Masterlist

CHAPTER I ➛ CHAPTER II ➛ CHAPTER III

word count: 11k

"How's that poster design coming along? Good, I'm hoping?" Nakano Miyaka, the Arts Club president, hovers over the table like a bespectacled hawk. Her thick glasses almost make her eyes look comically huge with the way she surveys the club room like some sort of cliché cranky supervisor from an office sitcom.

The Arts Club room is small and dingy, probably the smallest and dingiest room in prestigious Shiratorizawa. The four walls perpetually smell of acrylic paint and marker ink from paintings and other artwork that take too long to dry. The desks and chairs are stained with various pigments, courtesy of those hard-headed club members who always forget to put down newspaper before working on their projects.

Upon enrolling in high school, you had trouble finding a new club to pledge yourself to since you've said good bye to volleyball. When you were a kid, one of your favorite way to pass the time aside from playing volleyball is messing around with whatever coloring materials you could find in your pencil case— crayons, watercolors, those small pots of poster color that smell like expired medicine. You'd take your time creating your own masterpiece. More often than not, it would actually turn out good and your Dad would display it by the fridge or frame it to hang in the living room. You enjoyed making art for him, that was until he and your mother divorced. Suddenly, it didn't make sense to continue doing art anymore.

However, on your first day of school at Shiratorizawa, you were handed a flyer for the Arts Club by Miyaka herself who was scouting new recruits at the time. Perhaps it was her overly-enthusiastic persona, or maybe it was because the prospect of making art again made you feel nostalgic— either way, it only took three minutes of convincing before you were signing up.

Miyaka instantly took a liking to you. You're an efficient and productive member of the club, adamant on creating a good first impression on your clubmates. Not long after that, Miyaka has appointed you as the club's Secretary even though you're still a first year. You accepted the honor with much eagerness.

"Just tweaking a few things and then it's ready to be printed." Came the monotonous reply of the club's vice president, currently hunched back over his laptop.

"A few things, huh?" Miyaka gives a pointed look at him then at the laptop's screen. "Seems to me like you still have a lot to tweak considering the page is still freakin' blank."

Aoki Raiden groans and leans back against his chair, pulling the strings on his hoodie so the fabric engulfs his face. 

"Please get off my back, Miyaka-san. I literally can't work with you watching me all the damn time."

Miyaka yanks the hood off his head. "I gave you a week to finish the poster design, Rai. We're already behind schedule as it is."

"You do know the festival isn't until October, right? It's still the middle of August, not to mention it's summer break. Stop being such a worrywart. We have plenty of time." Raiden drawls as his fingers clack on his laptop's keyboard. From where you're sitting, you can see the interface of Twitter on the screen, the poster design's editing page has been minimized and is now completely abandoned.

"I dedicated the whole summer break to work on our booth so we don't have to worry about it once school starts." Miyaka puts her hand on her hips in an attempt to assert authority. "Us third years are gonna be super busy by September and I won't have time to supervise this club by then. You really have to be more considerate, you know."

"Ugh, fine. Give me three days and I'll send you the final design."

"No, are you kidding me? You have until tomorrow to finish that."

Raiden glares at the club president but doesn't complain any more. Reluctantly, he pulls out the editing software again and begins working, but not without complaining all the way.

Miyaka then turns to you who are currently writing on your notepad at the corner of the room, a calculator sitting on your lap. "How about our budget plan, Y/N-chan? Has it been taken care of yet?"

"Yep, I've added both what we've spent so far and the estimation of how much we'll be spending once we build the booth itself." You say, tapping your pen on the notepad. "I made a table for it, too, Miyaka-san, so there won't be any confusion. I'll give the printed copy to you tomorrow."

You rummage through your notepad, checking your various notes from the days before. "I've also checked in with Ryo-san and the other second-years earlier. They're about 50% done with the mural but they ran out of paint so they had to order more. Their expenses are already accounted for, by the way."

"See? That's what a responsible club member looks like. You should really learn a thing or two from your kouhai. Seriously, I should have fired you as vice president and appointed her instead." 

Raiden can only sneer in response, both at you and Miyaka. His typing becomes more aggravated by the second.

"And what about the piece you'll be showcasing at the silent auction?" The bespectacled third-year asks you again.

"Also done but it's still drying. I used oil paint."

"Great! I'm thinking of making that our centerpiece."

"What?" Raiden almost jumps from his seat. "How about my clay sculpture of Bourgeois' Spider? You told me it's gonna be the centerpiece!"

"Well, we can't actually showcase something you haven't even started on yet, can we? Tell you what, show me the finished product and I might actually change my mind."

"I'm getting on it! Just stop pestering me about it! God!"

Miyaka says something snarky in retaliation but you don't hear it. You're busy looking at the clock mounted on the wall to hear about the bickering of your two upperclassmen. The clock reads 2:28 PM. Tobio texted you an hour ago saying that they've defeated their first opponent and were currently waiting for their next match. You're almost buzzing in your seat in worry that you won't be able to catch it.

"Miyaka-san, I was wondering if I could leave early today? I'm supposed to watch the boys volleyball at the Sendai City Gymnasium."

"Eh? But I was told Shiratorizawa isn't playing today. Something about them being too good?"

"Oh, yeah, they won the Inter High so they're already seeded in the Qualifiers." You nod. "I'm actually gonna watch Karasuno."

"Why? Is your boyfriend in there?" Miyaka wiggles her eyebrows. You know it's just a playful teasing but you can't help getting flustered. Your cheeks heat up almost immediately. You hate how you always have this reaction.

"No, just my best friend."

"Yeah, right." Miyaka rolls her eyes with a sly smirk on her lips. "Everybody knows best friend is, like, code for boyfriend"

You reiterate rather defensively that Tobio is just a friend despite Miyaka clearly not believing you. It always entertains you whenever she teases and badgers Raiden but when you're on the receiving end of it, you don't think it's amusing anymore. Only when your face is about the shade of a ripe tomato did Miyaka stop her teasing, but not without giggling about how agitated you look about the whole thing.

Eventually, she grows tired of joking around and agrees to your request.

"No fair! How come she gets to go?" Raiden whines. The way he pouts and crosses his arms like that reminds you of one of those spoiled kids who throw temper tantrums in malls. He's a few months older than you but you forget that with how childish he acts sometimes.

"For one, she's actually been very productive today and she deserves an early out."

"What, just because she's the Darling Setter of Miyagi, she's free to watch volleyball anytime?"

Miyaka cocks her head to the side. "Darling what of Miyagi?"

"Setter. It's just a nickname I got when I used to play volleyball back in middle school." You wave it off as if it's no big deal— though you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the warm swell of pride in your chest upon hearing that nickname again after so long.

"Which is cringe and tacky, by the way." Raiden rolls his eyes, something you're now accustomed to seeing. You stick your tongue to him which he responds by sticking his tongue back to you. You don't take offense whenever Raiden eggs on you like that because you know he doesn't really mean it— it's just the way he is. To be honest, you have grown quite fond of his salty remarks, and sometimes, you even participate whenever he initiates a lighthearted squabble.

"I knew you used to play volleyball but I didn't know you were famous. Should I ask for your autograph?" Miyaka leans against your desk with an impressed look on her face.

"As much as I want to sign stuff for you, Miyaka-san, I don't think my autograph is worth anything anymore." You hope your response is buoyant enough to hide the fact this is a sore topic for you. You still haven't fully come into terms that you're not a volleyball player anymore.

"You really sure it's okay that I leave early?" You hastily add as an attempt to steer the conversation.

The bespectacled third-year taps her chin in thought as she looks at Raiden who is brooding in the corner. "You know what? I'm actually in the mood to watch some volleyball, too. Can I go with you, Y/N?"

"Of course, you can. I never pegged you as a volleyball fan, though."

"Oh, I'm not." She chuckles as she tidies up her desk. "But my boyfriend is such a nerd for it so I figured I should try to appreciate it more."

"Oh? You have a boyfriend?." Your brows shot up in surprise at this fact.

"You don't have to look so surprised about it, but yes. We made it official two weeks ago. We're keeping it lowkey. Not many people know yet."

"Oh my god," You hear Raiden's trademark exasperated sigh before he closes his laptop with a muddled thud. "A lot of people know you're dating Tendou-san. You can't say it's lowkey if it's all over your Twitter. Also, that whole will-you-be-my-girlfriend shenaniganhe did by the congregating area? Yeah, thatwasn't as cute as you think it was. He littered so much confetti that day, it looked like a unicorn threw up all over the place. Our class had to clean that up while you and your boyfriend made out behind the gym. You thought we didn't see that, huh? Well, we did!"

"Jesus, Raiden, that's not your story to tell!" shrieks Miyaka. The sound of it has you flinching.

Miyaka and Raiden commence yet another wrangle with the former chastising the latter for exposing her love life like that. Whenever something like this happens, you always give the two of them a couple of minutes before both of them cool down and continue on normally as if nothing happened. On your first few weeks with this club, you did think that this constant spat between the president and vice president was a bit too much for your liking— but then you learned soon enough that Miyaka and Raiden have been friends since middle school, and them fighting is a common occurrence, almost always not personal. They are actually really solid friends when both of them are in a good mood.

Your two upperclassmen finally reach an impasse. You haven't been listening to their argument so you don't exactly know how they went from Miyaka getting mad at Raiden for disclosing info about her love life, to Miyaka inviting Raiden to watch volleyball with you. You were busy putting away the papers and stationaries into their respective drawers when you heard Miyaka ask if Raiden wanted to come to the Sendai Gymnasium instead of being a whiny little bitch (the exact phrase she used). The way she worded the invite was a bit unorthodox but you know well enough that she just invited him so Raiden wouldn't feel left out when the two of you leave. She really cares for him in that way.

Their friendship is weird, you think to yourself as Raiden sassily agrees to go. You didn't plan on having company at Tobio's game, but your two senpai are alright companions— there are worse people to be stuck with.

"Maybe after the game, the three of us could go for some yakiniku." Miyaka has locked the club room and is now bouncing on the balls of her feet at her suggestion.

"As long as you're paying, then it's fine by me." Raiden lags behind you and Miyaka as the three of you set off.

"If you had given me the poster design today, maybe I'd have considered treating you— but you didn't, so no yakiniku for you."

"I have money. I can pay for my own yakiniku, thank you very much."

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. Tobio's name pops up on the screen with a text that has you widening your eyes.

"Guys, the game is starting in fifteen minutes! We have to hurry!"

You clutch your bag tight as you begin to sprint towards the gates. Miyaka and Raiden follow suit staggeringly. The former is shouting for you to slow down while the latter grumbled annoyedly to himself about regretting his decision to come.

The bus ride from Shiratorizawa to the Sendai City Gymnasium was fortunately quick. Though the game has probably already started, you still drag Miyaka and Raiden into a convenience store so you can get some snacks to give to Tobio after the game. Miyaka doesn't miss this opportunity to tease you further about being head-over-heels in love with your best friend, which you tried to ignore but couldn't help getting defensive over. 

After paying for your stuff, you practically yank the two of them by their shirts into the stadium.

By the time you've arrived at the stands, the whole place is already buzzing with cheers from the crowd. There aren't many supporters because it's only the preliminaries but the air is still thick with excitement and anticipation.

It takes you three seconds to locate Karasuno's black and orange uniform in the court. The first set of their game against Kakugawa has already started. The scoreboard tells you that Kakugawa is leading at 2-0, though years of playing volleyball has taught you that it's still too early to gauge the trajectory of the game.

"That's Karasuno." You tell your companions, pointing at the court in front of you.

"Uh-huh, and which one's your boyfriend?" Miyaka cranes her neck and squints her near-sighted eyes to see the players better.

"Not a boyfriend." You remind her. "He's. No. 9."

"So tall!" You hear Miyaka emit a yelp. You follow her gaze and realize she's not looking at Tobio— she's looking at the opposing team's No. 9, who is probably the tallest high schooler you've ever laid your eyes on. He could be about two-meters tall, maybe even more. For a moment, you wonder what this would mean for Karasuno— a two-meter giant like that is surely a pain to play against. You'd hate to see Tobio's team lose just because of the overwhelming advantage Kakugawa has.

"I meant the black team's No. 9." You nudge her by the shoulder and point at Tobio in the other side of the court who is currently conversing with his teammates about what to do during the next rally. During his years at Kitagawa Daichi, he used to despise communicating with his team, but now you can see that he has changed so drastically. He looks more confident now, more open. You smile at this realization.

Miyaka nods approvingly upon seeing Tobio, commenting that he's tall and cute. She even goes as far as to say that he suits you perfectly and that you look good together, which elicits a flustered squeak from you.

You remain silent after that. You follow Tobio's form as he expertly maneuvers the ball across the court. You cheer whenever Karasuno scores and gasps in dejection whenever the other team does. You don't think Tobio knows you're here yet— not once has he looked at your direction since you arrived, not that you're expecting him to look for you. You understand completely well that the only thing that has his undistracted attention during the game is the ball itself.

Raiden grumbles about you being too loud, but you beg to differ— you're just getting fired up. Little does he know that your loudest cheer is yet to come.

The first time you see Tobio and Hinata's new quick attack is when you lose your mind, screaming and applauding until both your throat and palms felt sore. It's just so thrilling to see it firsthand, especially as a former setter yourself. Normal people may see it and think it's just a flashy move, but you know how much precision and concentration a setter has to master before executing such a technique. 

Your best friend really is a genius.

"Nice toss, Tobio!" You shout. You doubt he heard you among the collective astonishment of the crowd. You're so fired up that Raiden has to poke you on your ribs to bring you to reality.

After that first quick attack, your focus is now entirely on the game, occasionally turning to Miyaka whenever she has some technical questions about what's going on in the court. Even though you learned that she's dating Tendou Satori, she doesn't seem to be all that informed about volleyball yet. Raiden remains quiet as he leans against the hand rail, observing the game with a bored countenance— though there's this one instance when he groans disappointedly when Karasuno's ace botched his jump serve. You find it amusing that this Shiratorizawa student has started rooting for Karasuno as well.

You're here to support Karasuno as a whole but you still can't help being biased. You can't seem to tear your gaze away from Tobio— so much so that the other members of the team seem like faceless characters in the background. You see them all moving and you're aware of each member's efforts but you're bewitched by Tobio. You can't not look at him.

All that changed, however, when he steals the crowd's attention with a monster kill block.

For the first time that day, your focus settles on Tsukishima. 

Honestly speaking, you kind of forgot he was even in the team. If it weren't for that superb kill block he did, you would have went along the entire game not acknowledging his existence. All of a sudden, though, the attention you're giving Tobio isn't undivided anymore— Tsukishima has half of it now.

"Whoa, he stopped that ball all by himself like what Satori does." You hear Miyaka observe beside you in awe.

Tsukishima doesn't seem unfazed nor thrilled after winning that mid-air battle. He maintains his cool mien even as his team surround him joyously. He goes back to position, adjusts his glasses, and prepares for the next rally as if he didn't just effectively shut down the opponent's spiker all on his own. If you were playing against him, you'd be extremely annoyed at how calm he is.

Still, despite alternating your focus on Tobio and Tsukishima, the former still has your unrelenting support. When he and Hinata ended the first set with yet another freak quick, you didn't know your scream was the loudest. Only when Miyaka laughed at you about it did you mellow down and opted for clapping your hands instead.

The second set is just as gripping as the first, maybe even more. You got to see for the first time Karasuno do a synchronous attack and whenever they do, your eyes unknowingly follow Tsukishima run up to the net and jump with the intent of spiking. The blonde is a great blocker but he's also an effective spiker with his height and ball control. You find yourself cheering and clapping whenever he scores.

Miyaka notices by the second set that your loudest applause are reserved for Tobio and Tsukishima, and sometimes the occasional gasp of astonishment for Hinata's amazing reflexes. The other Karasuno members are amazing players in their own right but you seem more ardently supporting the aforementioned two.

After Tsukishima scores with a block-out, you bring your hands to your mouth and shout a rather impressed "nice kill". By this, Miyaka taps your shoulder to get your attention, and she wastes no time asking forthrightly if you know the blonde. You respond by saying that you have met him before but choose not to elaborate further. Fortunately for you, Miyaka doesn't press any more. You can only imagine how excruciating her teasing would be if she knew the nature of how you met Tsukishima.

After Hinata scores the final point in favor of Karasuno, you and Miyaka find yourselves hugging each other in glee. You have probably rubbed off your enthusiasm on her because she asks if you'd accompany her to watch Shiratorizawa's game at the qualifiers to which you happily agree. Even Raiden who looked disinterested throughout the whole game is joining in on the applause, evidently enjoying the match more than what he expected.

"We still on for barbecue?" 

"I am kinda hungry so I guess I'll go with you." Raiden shrugs. The three of you make your way down the stairs as the crowd starts dispersing.

"I'm coming, too. I'll just congratulate Tobio and give him the snacks I bought. I won't be long." 

"You're hopeless." You see Raiden shake his head mockingly.

"I think it's cute." Miyaka simpers. "You don't understand these things yet because you're single since birth, Rai."

You almost remind her that you are also single since birth and Tobio is not your boyfriend, but you feel like you've reiterated that fact enough that it's getting annoyingly redundant.

"You go on ahead, Y/N. We're gonna go to the rest rooms because I'm gonna freshen up and Rai has to splash cold water to his face to wipe off that hideous scowl. Just meet us there?"

"Okay! Be back in a jiffy!" With this, you're off speed walking to the direction of the corridor where you remember players keep their baggage in. You've been in this stadium a lot when you were in middle school that you still have the whole place memorized.

It takes you two minutes to see Tobio. He's still in his uniform so you locate him right away among the other players that are coming and going. He has his back turned on you, head downcast as he adjusts his bag that is slung over his shoulder.

You tiptoe to where he is. The surrounding chatter of other boys in the vicinity makes your arrival all the more unnoticeable.

"So, that's your new quick attack, huh?"

Tobio wheels around upon hearing your voice. His default scowl is replaced by a smirk once he sees that it's you who has spoken.

"Impressed?" You can see his ego radiating off of him like an aura.

"It's alright." You shrug in faux nonchalance.

"Liar. I heard you screaming louder than everyone earlier."

You blush profusely at that. You knew you were loud (Raiden wasted no opportunity calling you out on it), but you didn't know Tobio heard you all the way down the court. His other teammates must have heard you too and thought you were crazy. The mere thought of it is enough to make you cringe in embarrassment. 

"Okay, fine. It was pretty neat." You finally admit, rolling your eyes. "Congrats on getting through the preliminaries. You guys deserved it."

Tobio grins, the kind that is laced with a dangerous amount of smugness. If you didn't know him at all, you would be offended rather than pleased when he says his thanks. 

"Here, I got you this." You rummage through your bag and give him a paper bag from the convenience store you went into earlier. Inside are a bottle of sports drink and three protein bars— all his favorite brand and flavor, you made sure of that.

Tobio thanks you as he rips open a protein bar with his teeth before biting into it. He demolishes the bar in two enormous bites which prompts you to berate him for eating too quickly lest he wants to choke to death. You threaten to take back the remaining two protein bars if he doesn't slow down. He argues with you with his mouth full, spewing unintelligible protests and half-chewed oats alike as he raises the paper bag out of your reach.

That scene may have been a little too loud because from behind Tobio, a mop of orange hair pops out to investigate the small commotion.

"What's happening here— Kageyama! You went to buy snacks without me?" Hinata seems to be more offended upon seeing Kageyama's stuffed face. 

Tobio shakes his head and juts his thumb at your direction, trying to say without words that it's you who gave the snacks to him. Hinata blinks as he registers your presence for the first time.

"Shiratorizawa?" His gaze lingers for a second on the shirt you're wearing which is purple with the academy's emblem printed on the front— the same shirt Miyaka and Raiden are wearing today. Since it's summer break, you don't have to wear your school uniform while doing club work inside campus but every once in a while, Miyaka still orders the club to wear the purple shirt, probably only for aesthetic reasons.

"Hey, is she your girlfriend?" Hinata tiptoes so he can whisper to Tobio's ear. It's not really a whisper because you can still hear it, and probably other people in the vicinity heard it too. 

"She's just a friend, dumbass." Tobio barks at the small middle blocker.

"Hi. I'm Y/N." You take it upon you to introduce yourself with a bow.

The middle blocker visibly stiffens when you speak, his entire face erupting into a shade of scarlet that has you worrying if he's okay.

"Hinata Shoyo! N-n-nice to meet you, too!" He squeaks.

"What's that I hear? Kageyama has a girlfriend?" Tobio's other teammate with the No. 2 jersey enters the scene from the benches you didn't realize he was sitting on, almost hopping to where you are to take a closer look at you. Either Hinata's voice was too loud or No. 2 just has superhuman hearing.

"She's not my girlfriend, Sugawara-san." Tobio says a-matter-of-factly.

It kind of annoys you how Tobio never shows emotion whenever he denies being your girlfriend— something he does more often than you would have realized. It's always robotic, as if he's reciting from a user manual for a build-your-own furniture. It's annoying to you because you're the exact opposite— when someone insinuates that you and Tobio are a couple, you're always reduced to a blushing mess. It's just so unfair, you think. How come he's not bothered by it at all?

"Y/N, is it? I'm Sugawara, Kageyama's senpai." He grins proudly as he puts his arm over Tobio's shoulder, making the latter stiffen uncomfortably.

"Nice to meet you." You bow to the silver-haired boy.

"Oh? You're from Shiratorizawa." He parrots the observation Hinata had earlier.

"Yes, I'm a first year student there."

"I bet you guys are bummed out that your volleyball team didn't get Kageyama-kun here." Sugawara looks smug in a way that is lighthearted.

"I don't think they're bummed out, Sugawara-san. They're the ones who rejected me." Tobio's reply has you snorting. How did he manage to say that as seriously as he did?

"And they're definitely regretting that now, no?" Sugawara gave Tobio's back a rather loud smack which is supposed to be an encouraging pat.

"Where are the rest of your team?" You ask out of curiosity. It seems like Tobio, Hinata, and Sugawara are the only Karasuno players around. The absence of a certain blonde doesn't go unnoticed by you.

"Rest room, probably, or watching the remaining games.", came Tobio's curt reply.

"I think Asahi and Daichi are getting drinks from the vending machines." Sugawara quips in, looking at his wristwatch. "Now that I think of it, I've been waiting for my soda for twenty minutes now. Where the hell are those guys?"

Suddenly, as if on cue, a boisterous and rather obnoxious laughter rings from the other side of the hallway. Karasuno's No. 5 and No. 4 are loudly joshing around with the rest of Karasuno in tow. 

It's hard not to spot him among his teammates. He stands out with his towering height and striking blonde hair. Tsukishima currently has his headphones on, scrolling on his phone with his hand tucked inside his pants pocket. He has already changed out of his uniform and into a plain white shirt and black trousers.

You're having a hard time registering the fact that the two of you are gonna see each other again— not that you're entirely opposed to it. The boy has definitely earned a considerable percentage of your trust after he had walked you home last night. Maybe you could thank him again for that. You just don't know how you're gonna open up that conversation. Even thinking about how awkward it would be already has you cringing already.

You debate with yourself whether or not you should get away now. You are not necessarily avoiding Tsukishima. It's just that after the events of last night, you feel like meeting him again would be a painful kind of awkward. You'd hoped that the interaction you two had wouldn't have a sequel. You're grateful for what he did for you but you were already so embarrassed about it, and having to interact with him again would just relive that in your memory.

By the time you've made your decision to scram, the incoming group is already a few feet away. Tsukishima peels his gaze away from his phone once the group has stopped in front of Sugawara who is giddy to get his soda he's been waiting on for twenty minutes. You instinctively let Tobio's body cover your own, not wanting to let your presence known just yet. Meeting new people, especially a lot of them, is particularly overwhelming for you.

At first, Tsukishima doesn't see you as he takes his headphones off and let it hang on his neck. A tall freckled boy is currently talking to him, stealing his attention. You don't realize you've been staring at Tsukishima. It is only when he felt the ghost prickle of a pair of eyes trained on him did he look at your direction. When he meets your gaze, it is you who is the more shocked. Hazel eyes fix on yours. If he is the least bit surprised to see you, he doesn't let it show. His expression doesn't change as his gaze lingers on you for a second before turning back to the boy whom we was conversing with.

Immediately, you cower even further behind Tobio.

"I should probably go now." You say, careful not to let your presence more known than it already is. 

Your voice is soft, barely above whisper. By the looks of things, it is only Kageyama, Sugawara, Hinata, and Tsukishima who know that you're there. You're hiding behind Tobio (Sugawara and Hinata are stood beside him so their figures unknowingly conceal you too). The rest of the boys are oblivious of you— you're thankful for the loud No. 4 and No. 5 duo for diverting the team's attention with a most likely exaggerated story about a heated altercation with a rival team they bumped into at the rest rooms.

"Where are you going?" It's Kageyama's voice that catches the attention of the group. You could have slipped quietly without anyone noticing if he hasn't spoken. Curse him and his megaphone voice.

You're suddenly aware of a dozen or so pairs of eyes trained on you.

"Who's this?" It is No. 4, the libero, who pops the question. He's elbowing No. 5 whose eyes look like they've seen stars once they lay on you. 

"Uh, sorry... I'm L/N Y/N. It's nice to meet you all." You really should have gotten away while you had the chance

"L/N? As in L/N Hotaru's daughter?" No. 5 has his eyes widened, his finger pointing at you. "You're the Darling Setter! I knew you looked familiar!"

"Right! L/N Y/N, I remember now. You were on Volleyball Monthly!", points out Sugawara. "Your hair was so much shorter back then. I almost didn't recognize you."

A part of you wished that they didn't. You're not at all accustomed anymore to people recognizing you as the Darling Setter. All you can do is smile awkwardly as the boys seem to renew their interest on you. You can see Tobio silently laughing, amused at how you looked uncomfortable at the spotlight.

Hinata is probably the most impressed. He's practically jumping up and down in front of you, his eyes twinkling as if he is star struck. 

"You're the L/N Y/N? My sister saw you on the television last year. She thought you were very pretty and wanted to be like you!"

"R-really?" You stammer out, both flattered and disbelieving.

"Yeah! Her name's Natsu. She's only 9 years old but she's already interested in volleyball, and she wants to—"

"Oi, can't you see she's uncomfortable?" Tobio butts in, glaring at Hinata's enthusiasm.

You're not really uncomfortable, per se. You're just not used to the attention anymore. Back when you were in middle school, you absolutely adored being in the center of it, not so much now that you're in high school.

"It's fine." You assure your best friend.

"I appreciate that, Hinata. Please tell Natsu I say hi." Hinata beams at your response.

No. 4 and No. 5 are nudging each other on the ribs, wordlessly working out which of them gets to talk to you first. You watch, amused, how they try to muster the courage to step forward and talk to you. They must really have no experience talking with girls, judging by how they're struggling right now.

"Don't you two try anything funny. She's Kageyama's girlfriend." Sugawara wags a finger at the two of them and they exclaim both their surprise and what could only be disappointment. 

"She's not." Tobio denies as nonchalantly as ever before tipping his head back to drink from the sports drink you gave him.

"Kageyama, you lucky bastard!" 

"Way to go, Kageyama!"

The two have apparently ignored his denial.

Your eyes are casted down to your shoes so you don't see the way Tsukishima raises his eyebrow a millimeter upon hearing what Sugawara said. Not only that— he narrows his eyes ever so slightly when he sees your dejected reaction at Tobio's response.

"Wait, so are you or are you not his girlfriend?" It's No. 4 who speaks this time.

Before you could open your mouth to speak, two fists smack on top of No. 4 and No.5's heads. The fists belong to whom you recognize is the team's captain.

"Nishinoya, Tanaka," He growls warningly. "Stop harassing her or else I'll have the two of you run laps on our next training."

Nishinoya and Tanaka mutter their apology with a bow and you wave them off, saying that it's really no problem. For some reason, they also turn to apologize to Tobio who just stared at them in utter confusion, biting on his protein bar without saying a word.

Some of Tobio's teammates start conversing with you, too— nothing much, just questions that are more for the sake of either being polite or genuine curiosity than anything else. 

"H-hello. You've mastered the jump floater serve, right? What's the technique so it doesn't end up doing a topspin, if you don't mind me asking?" The tall boy Tsukishima was talking to earlier approaches you. You'll soon learn that his name is Yamaguchi. He still seems shy. You can very clearly see his cheeks dusted in pink and he stutters out the majority of words in his sentences, but he makes an effort to talk to you nevertheless. Ironically enough, seeing that he's more nervous than you melts away your own uneasiness.

By this time, all your nerves and apprehension about meeting Tobio's team has dissipated. It's easy to talk with them because they're nice people, treating you with respect and friendliness. You're thankful for them for not asking too many questions about your ex-Olympian father— you're proud of him but talking about him is taxing and quite repetitive sometimes.

Yamaguchi and Hinata are specifically the two who kept the conversation going. You've built a rapport with them maybe because they're first-years such as yourself. Yamaguchi is now asking you if the entrance exam to Shiratorizawa was really as hard as everyone said it was. He visibly blanched when you said that the exam gave you a  headache that lasted for days. Hinata, however, is more curious about your volleyball career. When you told the orange-haired middle blocker that you're not part of any volleyball club right now, his eyes widened to the size of saucers. He voices out that it's such a waste of talent. He has a way with wording out his compliments that you feel yourself blushing pathetically. Tobio just stands beside you through it all, munching on his protein bar as he listens to you talk with his teammates and occasionally adding to the conversation if his input is needed.

It doesn't take long before you're laughing quite freely with them.

Through the whole ordeal, Tsukishima has backed away from the group unnoticed. He is currently leaning against the wall a few feet away, his headphones fit snuggly on his ears but the music is turned off. Scrolling aimlessly on his phone has lost its appeal by now and he wishes he'd brought his PSP with him to pass time.

Every couple of minutes or so, you steal a glance at Tsukishima. He's the only one from the team who hasn't said a word to you, not even a polite greeting. You were a bit anxious at the prospect of talking to him again, but now that he clearly has no plan to even spare you a minute of his time, you feel quite annoyed. The two of you are not friends, probably not even acquaintances— but still, after the events of last night, you expect him to at least not treat you like a stranger.

It's not like you want him to approach you and be all chummy. You just want him to acknowledge you, maybe with a nod of recognition or even a small wave of his hand wouldn't hurt. Heck, you even cheered for him at their game earlier. You weren't being subtle with it, too. You were screaming until your throat was raw— he definitely heard you supporting him. The only explanation is he just doesn't care and he just doesn't know how to behave like a decent human being.

Maybe you were wrong when you thought he wasn't half as bad last night. Maybe you were too lenient on your judgment when he is utterly and very clearly just a jerk. 

You look away from him with a huff. If he doesn't want to be your friend (or at the very least, an acquaintance), then it's most definitely his loss and not yours.

From the corner of your eyes, you see two purple figures standing at the hall's entrance. The Shiratorizawa shirt that Miyaka and Raiden are wearing are hard to miss. Miyaka waves at you once you make eye contact with her. They must have been waiting by the rest rooms for quite some time for them to come looking for you. This is as good a cue as any to say leave.

"I really have to go, Tobio. Some club officers and I made plans to get barbecue."

"You won't come over for dinner?" He asks, his head tilted to the side. You're vaguely aware of Hinata and Sugawara suddenly whispering among themselves upon hearing that.

"No, sorry. They're already waiting for me. It'd be rude if I cancelled now." You nod at the direction of your two senpai standing a few feet away, emphasizing your point.

"Mom is expecting you for tonight. " He shrugs but you don't miss the small pout he makes. "But whatever, it's your call."

"I suppose I could swing by later if we finish at the yakiniku place early?" It came off more like a bargain than a suggestion.

"But you'd be full by then."

"I'll save room, don't worry." You cheekily respond with a light chuckle. "I guess I'll see you later?"

Tobio ends the conversation with a nod and a short "okay".

With this, you turn to the rest of the group. They're not looking at either you or Tobio but you know that they heard your conversation. They must feel like they've being privy to something intimate, which you can assure them that they're not. Hinata is biting his bottom lip, clearly stopping himself from commenting anything. Sugawara is whistling as his eyes flit to the toe cap of his shoes. Nishinoya and Tanaka are having a hard time closing their mouths as they continue to gape at Tobio. All of them a clearly still under the impression that you are his girlfriend.

"It's nice meeting you all." You say to the group and you're met with a chorus of pleasantries.

"Bye, Hinata, Yamaguchi!" You wave specifically at the two freshmen whom you've bonded with the most.

You bow at the rest before turning on your heels and walking away. You don't see the way Tsukishima's eyes follow your retreating figure.

You're at least twenty feet away when Sugawara's hand finds the crown of Tobio's head, ruffling his hair roughly. "You dog! She's definitely your girlfriend. You're inviting her over for dinner!"

"I really envy you right now, Kageyama!"

"I wish I had a girlfriend too."

"Teach us your ways!"

The pandemonium that ensues after you left could be something out of a comedy skit. They're simply refusing to believe Tobio when he says over and over, almost pleadingly, that you are just his best friend. Tobio isn't the type to raise his voice at his upperclassmen so Hinata took the brunt of his fury when the setter reached his breaking point. 

You would have found it hilarious how your best friend chased Hinata around, kicking the poor boy on the shin when he finally caught up to him. 

You would also definitely appreciate the way Tobio blushed uncontrollably as his teammates continued to jeer and tease, if only you had seen it.

You apologize profusely to your two upperclassmen when you finally reach them, saying that you lost track of time talking to the Karasuno players. However, they don't seem at all angry about your tardiness. In contrary, they have a glint in their eyes that tell you they're amused about something.

"For a non-girlfriend, you sure looked a lot like a girlfriend back there." Raiden says with a roll of his eyes . You didn't realize they've been watching the whole ordeal all this time.

"Huh?"

"He's right, Y/N. I mean, think about it— not only did you watch his game, you also bought him after-game snacks. Not to mention he introduced you to his teammates." Miyaka links her arm to yours as the three of you start making your way to the stadium's exit. "It's like this unspoken rule among athletes' girlfriends, and you should trust me on this because I'm an athlete's girlfriend."

You manage to let out an incredulous scoff. "You guys are being ridiculous. It's no big deal, really. I've been doing it for him since we were in middle school."

"Woof, that's rough." Raiden whistles. "So, you've been doing girlfriend duties since middle school but he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend yet?"

"It's not that simple." You groan, both exasperatedly and bashfully.

"How is that not simple? You like him and by the looks of things, he likes you, too." It's Miyaka who speaks this time.

"He likes me?" It's really cringe and embarrassing that that's what you took away from her statement.

"It's really obvious," She says without hesitation. "I have a good eye on this kind of stuff. Trust me, he likes you."

You stay silent for a few seconds to ponder on her words. You'd be lying if you said that you haven't been fantasizing about Tobio liking you back. The idea just seems farfetched, especially since it's Tobio of all people. He has the emotional capacity of a grain of rice.

You try your best to think nothing of it. You will just end up getting hurt if you believe what they're saying. You don't want to feed yourself blind hope, especially if there's nothing to back up their claim.

"He doesn't." You mumble, feeling your heart sink. It is with a painful acceptance do you realize that you believe that sentence wholeheartedly.

Miyaka and Raiden look at each other, communicating silently. They're one of the closest friends you have in school. All those times you spent in the club room slaving away projects upon projects really strengthened your bond with them. They are probably the next people who know you best after Tobio.

"Why do you seem so sure? You haven't even confessed yet." Raiden says with a scoff.

"I'm not gonna confess because I know he'll just reject me. It'll ruin everything and I don't want that to happen. It's too risky."  You're now past denying that you do like Tobio. It's actually quite refreshing for you to talk about your feelings for him this openly. You feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders after years of hopeless pining.

"Wow. You really are stupid."

"Rai-san!" You cry out, clearly offended.

"You have a mirror, don't you? You're fully aware that you're pretty and if you disagree with that, either you have brain damage or just really dense. You're smart, you're hella good at volleyball— you're also, like, his number one fan. Tell me, what more could he want?" Raiden taps his finger on your temple. "Think, Y/N. If he had any ideal girl, it would be you."

You're always so surprised whenever Raiden shows his supportive side, albeit the way he delivered it could have been nicer and less abrasive. He always seems so negative and snarky, but when he does say something nice, you know it's genuine. Miyaka can only nod her head vigorously in agreement.

"Aw, Rai-san!" You throw yourself at him and engulf him in an embrace. You hear him grumble in protest but he allows you to hug him nevertheless.

"Rai has never said anything nice like that to me. I'm actually really jealous" Miyaka says with a soft pout. "What he said is true, though. You're the perfect girl for Tobio and I'm sure he already knows that. You should confess and see how it goes."

"I-I don't know." You bite your bottom lip. "I need time to think about it."

"You'll have plenty of time to think about it while we eat barbecue. I'm absolutely starving. How about you two slowpokes hurry up before all the good tables are taken, yeah?" With this, Miyaka tugs you by the arm as she speed walks. You don't protest because the grumbling in your stomach tells you that you're getting quite hungry too.

Your trio reach the exit of the stadium and you're fortunate enough to catch a bus immediately. The topic of Tobio is momentarily set aside as Raiden shows you a video he took of Miyaka napping in the club room, a steady stream of drool coming out of her open mouth. Raiden even threatens that he'd send the video to Tendou, which obviously rattles Miyaka. Her face turns into a bright shade of red, demanding Raiden to delete that video or she would make sure he regretted it.

You and Raiden laugh hysterically, so much so that the other passengers on the bus give you the side-eye. Miyaka looks like she's gonna exolode with embarrassment as she tries to pry Raiden's phone from his hands. 

It's moments like these that allow you to breathe without anxiety. You don't even realize that today, you have completely forgotten about the fact that you're gonna move to Tokyo soon. You're glad that you have Miyaka and Raiden to distract you from that.

Dinner with your two upperclassmen was great. You talked about various stuff, though you notice that they didn't bring up Tobio anymore— they must have sensed that you weren't comfortable talking about him so they let it be. However, Miyaka did say that if ever you need help confessing to your best friend, she'd be glad to help. You thank her for her offer but you're not quite sure if you're even gonna go about doing it. You still have to be sure about what to do next before making a move.

You didn't fill up on yakiniku despite your stomach protesting because you promised Tobio you'd still come over for dinner at his house. Miyaka and Raiden didn't hold back, though. They ordered so many meat and side dishes that you had to try your best not to look so envious.

Once the three of you are done, you take a bus home. You plan on showering first before going to Tobio's house so you don't look so haggard, at least.

You see your Mom's car in the driveway once you arrive home. She's home early, you think to yourself. She usually goes home at 8 PM or later.

Your Mom pops out of the kitchen once she hears you're back home. She's bobbing a tea bag up and down her steaming cup while her face is covered in a seaweed mask that's part of her weekly skincare routine.

"How's that yakiniku place? Is it any good?"

You texted her a few hours ago that you'd get yakiniku with your club mates so she doesn't have to wait for you at dinner.

"A bit pricey but worth it, I guess. We should go there sometime, Mom."

"How about lunch on Sunday? We could go shopping at the mall after. What do you think?"

"Sounds good." You smile. There's a voice in your head that says she's only trying to compensate for the whole moving to Tokyo thing. Quite frankly, you're still mad at her about that, but you also know she only has your best interest at heart. You try to understand her position.

"I'm gonna go shower and go to Tobio's. He invited me for dinner." You say as you make your way to your room.

"Do you really have to go? You've already eaten and you were just at his house last night." She follows you until she's leaning against your room's doorframe.

"I could still eat. Besides, I think it's a special dinner since Tobio's team got through the preliminaries. He told me his mother was expecting me. I couldn't say no, could I?"

Your mother takes a sip from her tea. "Well, as long as he invited you and you're not imposing."

You don't respond after that. You're rummaging through your closet in search for specific articles of clothing you want to be wearing tonight.

"Hey, Mom? Have you seen my beige shirt? The long-sleeved one? Oh, no, wait— I forgot I haven't washed it yet."

You hear your Mom click her tongue. "It's in the laundry room. I added everything in your hamper to the load when I washed my coats last night. If I didn't, you wouldn't have anything to wear for this week. Sometimes I wonder what you would do without me."

The relief that courses through you is overwhelming. "Thanks, Mom! You're the best!"

You practically sprint to the laundry room to retrieve your shirt. Your Mom yells after you to take all your folded laundry to your room so you wouldn't have to return for them later. You come back to your room with a basket of your now clean laundry, the smell of vanilla fabric conditioner wafting through the room.

"Who's Kei?"

You cock your head to the side in confusion. "Kei?"

"There was a handkerchief in your hamper with the name Kei embroidered on it. It should be in there somewhere." She motions to the laundry basket. "Why do you have it in the first place?"

It takes you a couple of seconds to find said handkerchief. When Tsukishima gave it to you last night, you didn't know it was embroidered with his name— you can only assume that Kei is his first name from context. You're just realizing that you didn't ask him for his first name. You just knew him as Tsukishima.

"So, who's Kei and why do you have his handkerchief?" Your Mom repeats the question.

You tell her with a shrug that it's the boy who walked you home last night. You also tell her what happened in the café but deliberately omit the part about him giving you the handkerchief because you'd been crying, replacing it with a lie that you'd spilled water on yourself instead. 

You examine the handkerchief for the first time since it was given to you. You didn't get to take a good look at it last night. The word Kei is embroidered in forest green thread at the bottom right corner. You wonder how you managed to miss it.

"I thought it was Tobio-kun who walked you home?"

"No, Mom. It was this other boy. He's Tobio's teammate, actually."

"I see. It was very dark. I just thought Tobio-kun grew a lot taller since I last saw him." She muses. "So, is this Kei boy a suitor?"

You bite back an incredulous laugh. "No way."

"A special friend, then?" You don't even know what she means by that.

"Definitely not."

You see your mother shrug from where she is leaning on your doorway. "Still, seems like he likes you enough to let you keep something that expensive."

You frown, confused. "Huh?"

"That's CLASSICS the Small Luxury." She points at the square fabric you're holding. "That's, what, ¥2000 a piece, give or take? The embroidery definitely cost extra, too. He probably paid around ¥3000 for that one."

"Who would pay ¥3000 for one friggin' handkerchief?" You almost shriek in disbelief.

"It's really good quality, you know. It's probably 100% cotton, too. Back when I was in med school, these handkerchiefs were all the hype. All my girl friends had one. I didn't. I was broke and could only afford those 6-in-1 packs you could buy at convenience stores." She laughed at the memory, her hand covering her mouth ever so daintily.

Tsukishima's voice rings inside your head.

"A single slice of cake is nowhere near the value of that handkerchief." 

You just thought he was either lying or exaggerating.

Your phone buzzes on your bedside table, taking your attention away from the conversation. You catch a glimpse of Tobio's consecutive texts on the notification bar.

tobio: you still coming?

tobio: mom made tiramisu for dessert

You fold the handkerchief neatly and set it inside your drawer. The brand name CLASSICS The Small Luxury is printed right below the embroidery, another detail you've missed. You're definitely gonna be returning it to Tsukishima. As much as you appreciate him letting you keep it, you can't, not when it's worth ¥3000 with his own name embroidered on it.

How you're gonna return it to him, you still have no idea. You'll have to think of ways to get in contact with him again. You could very easily ask Tobio to give Tsukishima the handkerchief the  next time they see each other, but it would be quite rude and offending to the owner if you didn't return the handkerchief personally. It's the least you can do after he let you use it when you needed it last night.

You make a mental note to ask Tobio for Tsukishima's number or home address. You'll worry about it later. For now, you really must hurry up if you still want to catch dinner at the Kageyama's.

You shower and get changed. Before leaving the house, you inform your mother that you'd be home before 9 PM— you're feeling quite guilty for storming out last night and getting home late so you give yourself an early curfew tonight as compensation. Your mother is still a little worried that you're taking advantage of the Kageyamas' hospitality, but you reassure her that it's fine and Tobio's family won't call child services on her.

You leave the house after Tobio sends you another text saying that his mother asks what time you'll be arriving.  There's extra spring in your steps as you take the familiar route to his house— probably because you're excited to eat Mrs. Kageyama's cooking, or perhaps it's because you're giddy at the prospect of having dinner again with the boy you have a hopeless crush on. It's probably one or the other. It also could be both.

Tobio's Mom is preparing a feast, judging by the mingling scents of various dishes wafting throughout the whole house. She went overboard this time that you kind of regret having yakiniku earlier.

You offer to help Tobio's Mom and Miwa in the kitchen but the two women just wave you off, telling you to go relax and have some refreshments that they've prepared in the living room. Tobio's Dad is sitting on the couch, watching a baseball game on the television. He's so captivated by the game, shouting at the screen whenever his favorite team scores, that you feel like it would be rude if you sat down beside him and ruined the moment.

Tobio opens and closes his mouth, thinking of how to tell his father to scoot on the sofa. Even Tobio himself is scared of his father, it seems, because he remains quiet and accepts defeat instead.

"Let's go to my room?" He says beside you once he sees that his father won't be making room in the sofa for the two of you any time soon.

You follow him up the stairs and into his room which you've been in countless times before. Unlike those other times, however, you're now feeling a bit queasy as you enter. You hate the fact that going into your best friend's room is putting non-innocent thoughts inside your head now, something that you didn't worry about a year ago.

 Tobio plops down on his swivel chair as you make your way to his bed. The door is left wide open— you don't have to be told to do that, it's just courtesy and muscle memory from all the times Tobio has invited you to his room.

You unceremoniously collapse onto his bed, taking last month's issue of Shonen Jump from his bedside table with you. You don't particularly enjoy the way your stomach does a back flip when you smell a faint trace of his cologne on his bed sheets. You try to ignore it by flipping through the Jump's pages, trying to find any new manga to distract yourself with.

Tobio must have seen you so engrossed in reading that he felt like reading too. You hear the rustling of paper as he takes out an issue of Volleyball Monthly from his bookshelf. You immediately recognize it as the issue where you were featured in.

A sly smirk appears on your lips. "Turn to page 17. You'll see a very pretty girl there."

Kageyama already knows what you're talking about before he even turned to said page. "What girl? I only see a hobgoblin holding a volleyball."

"Jerk." You chuck a throw pillow at him which would have landed square on his face had he not ducked to avoid it.

There was a couple of minutes of silence disturbed only by you turning pages and Tobio playing on his Nintendo DSi— he quickly grew bored of looking at Volleyball Monthly and fished the console from his drawer. His attention span is comparable to that of a chicken, you think to yourself as you watch him play with the handheld device. Compared to when he was reading the magazine, Tobio looks a lot more entertained playing Bomberman Blitz.

"We've improved, haven't we? My team, I mean." Tobio suddenly says while his brows are furrowed in concentration at his game.

You look up from what you're reading. "Yep, it's scary how much you guys evolved. I should probably warn our volleyball team about you. I'm sure Ushijima-san would want to know what kind of techniques you have under your sleeves."

He gives you a glare that could have killed a weak-willed soul.

"I'm kidding! They'll just have to find out how much stronger you've gotten when they face you in the finals."

Tobio snorts. "We'll beat them for sure."

"You always say that but what's your plan, though? Do you have any tactics to beat Ushijima-san?" You inquire curiously.

Tobio presses pause on his Nintendo, cradling his chin in thought. "Well, none of us can beat him one-on-one so we'll have to work on our three-man block more, but aside from that, our floor defense is pretty solid. Nishinoya-san and Daichi-san could definitely receive some of his spikes, so I'm not too worried about that."

"You really don't think anyone on your team could block him?" You ask and he just shakes his head. "Don't you have faith in your middle blockers?"

He stares at you as if you've just asked a very stupid question. "Have you seen our middle blockers?"

"Hinata does good when it comes to offense but he's absolutely worthless when it comes to blocking and receiving. He's fast and jumps high but that's about all he can do.

And then there's Tsukishima"

Your attention is snatched when you hear the blonde's name. "What about him?"

"He just... doesn't try." Tobio simply says. "He has the height for it, he has good game sense too, but he gives up way too easily. If only he's pushing himself a little harder, we could strengthen our defense a lot more."

"I see."

"Don't even get me started on his rotten attitude. He's a sarcastic dick, thinking he's smarter than everyone. You would hate him too if you'd met him."

You almost tell Tobio that you have indeed met him, but judging by the way his face contorts in disgust when talking about the blonde, it won't be such a good idea.

You've seen Tsukishima play today. You're not saying that Tobio is wrong, but you definitely do not see the blonde 'giving up way too easily'. On their match against Kakugawa, Tsukishima looked focused and motivated— granted, he didn't look as enthusiastic as Tobio or Hinata, but he still seemed like he was enjoying the game. Though, you can't disagree about what Tobio said about Tsukishima being a sarcastic dick— that one was definitely correct.

But maybe, Tobio is not entirely wrong. He obviously knows Tsukishima better than you. The only instance you ever see him play is during official matches. You have no idea how he is like during practice.

"Hey, Tobio? When's your training gonna start again?"

"We have one on Saturday. Why do you ask?"

"Can I come and watch?" You try to make your shrug look as casually as it can when in reality, you're starting to get nervous about your bold request.

Tobio thinks about it for a second before nodding. "Sure."

You have no idea what your end game is when you asked to come to their practice. 

You do know one thing, though— you're gonna see Tsukishima again and it's gonna be the best opportunity to give him back his handkerchief.

The Nintendo DSi narrowly misses your thigh as Tobio chucks it on the bed. A second later, the impact of his body weight hitting the mattress causes you to almost fall off. He's spread-eagled on the bed with his face turned up to the ceiling. He's so close that you can feel the warmth of his body on your own skin.

"Wanna have a go?" He jabs the Nintendo blindingly at you, his eyes still fixated upward. 

You take the console out of his hand and starts a new game. It's harder than you remember it being, or maybe you just haven't played it in a while. This old Nintendo model's buttons are difficult to press, you tell yourself as the character dies yet again— not your fault but the console's. You restart only to die at the same spot.

"You're horrible at this." Tobio snickers. You've been glued to the game for the past minute that you didn't notice that he has wiggled closer to you so he could watch you play. 

You turn your head to look at him with the most hateful glare you could muster. You hope that he doesn't detect the look of yearning in your eyes because God knows there is. His dark blue eyes are just so beautiful, you could drown in them. The shape of his nose, the curve of his lips, the soft dusting of color on his cheeks— they all make him unbelievably gorgeous that it's a miracle you haven't melted on the spot considering his face is only a few inches away from yours.

 You feel like you've mastered by now the look of indifference whenever he's around, and yet you wonder if Tobio would have guessed by now that you have a crush on him if only he has the perception of an average teenage boy. Surely, you're not hiding it that well. Miyaka and Raiden did say it was very obvious.

"You died again." He points out as the DSi emits the telltale sound that signals the gruesome death of the pixelated bomber. 

You all but shove the device to his chest in frustration. You feel the vibration of his laughter as your hand makes contact with him as you feel your heart quicken instantaneously.

"Why do you want to watch our practice?" He asks after he has turned off the Nintendo and tossed it haphazardly somewhere on the mattress.

You shrug. "I wanna see you train."

Not exactly a lie but not the full truth either. The real reason you're going to their training is to give Tsukishima the handkerchief. Watching your crush practice volleyball is just a bonus.

"Why? Do you miss me that much when I'm not around?"

It's meant to be a joke. You're not meant to take it seriously. He's smirking in a way that tells you he's just having a laugh... but you're only human, and humans can only hide their feelings so much before some of it leaks.

"Yes, I do."

Tobio laughs.

You frown at this reaction.

"Stop it. That's gross." His shoulders shake as he tries to suppress his laughter. You blink back stupidly, both in surprise and mind-numbing hurt. No way he just said 'that's gross'.

He turns on the Nintendo again, unaware of your ragged breathing and how clammy your hands have gotten. You force out a laugh that you hope mirrors his.

For the rest of the night, none of your smiles or laughter seem to be genuine. Not even during dinner which is exquisite with all of Tobio's favorite food crammed in the too-small dining table. Not even as you say your good night to them by the front door as you prepare for your leave. Not even as you refuse Tobio when he offered to walk you home, right after his mother has chastised him into being a 'proper gentleman'.

This must be what a heartbreak feels like, you muse as you lay awake on your bed.

It hurts, and what's worse — it's because of Tobio.

I haven't updated in so long and felt guilty that's why this chapter has 11k words omg sorry not sorry

tag list: @sktvienna @thechaosoflonging @kenryug

[myonmukyuu]

Art Summary: 2022

It's that time of year again! This makes my 9th year of art summaries... Kind of insane to think about.

It's been a very eventful year and I have a lot to say. Extended art performance review under the cut 👌 (3k words lmao)

Previous: 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

ABOUT THE COMIC:

So! What happened this year? Well, my book happened. I'm not sure if anything else happened ahfhasjkdkasf

See, I actually cheated this art summary a tiny bit. Usually I use the upload date of the art to place it in the summary. But if I did that for this year, there would be at least 4 blank spots. That's why February, April and May all feature different pages of the same comic (CH 9).

I really did spend the first half of the year finishing my comic. I only released 2 chapters too (the finale and the epilogue). In March I took a week and a half off to work on a short for Ayumu's birthday, but otherwise slaved all the way until June for the webcomic.

Then I spent July and August doing all of the redrawing and edits required for a physical release. Those who have a copy of my book might already know but the first two chapters have been redrawn. I also had to go through the entire comic, fixing it so that it could actually be printed (because the webcomic version definitely can't be printed as it is.) It was super time-consuming. Like, I can't even begin to describe. Moving forward I'll try to draw every comic so that it's printable from the beginning so I don't have to deal with reformatting ever again...

I'm pretty sure it was in August that I had the first copy of the book done. Then the preordering period opened in Septemeber... and now we're here! People are just now starting to receive their books. Sorry it took so long guys ;w;

I'm very happy though... Depending on who you ask, 100 sales might not be a lot, but it's a lot to me. To think that so many people would spend the money to buy this kind of product is just so surprising to me... It's expensive and all of the content is already available to read for free!!! So it's really surprising and I'm so incredibly grateful. That's why I went through the trouble of creating that golden special print for everyone! It was quite a bit of money out of my pocket, but I really wanted to show my appreciation.

As a side note, the 100 sales were really exhausting to pack. My body was sore in November because of it LMAO

So I'd say this year was great for my comic! Both its webcomic finale and its physical release. But this summary isn't meant to be about my comic, it's supposed to be about my art and me as an artist.

ABOUT MY ART:

So how did my art go this year?

Looking back I feel nothing but exhaustion. I know I'm happy to have my comic released but, my body and mind is still very very tired. I feel like I took at least 2-3 weeks off or more from work throughout the year to keep the comic on track. It's just a huge undertaking.

What I'm getting at is I feel a tired and... a little disappointed. But don't get me wrong, I don't feel regret! It's just that... well every artist draws for their own reasons. For me, I love getting my ideas and stories out there. So I guess I felt creatively-starved spending about half a year polishing and releasing an already-complete product. Also technically starved - you don't really see much improvement if all you're doing is cleaning up art. I didn't really have a lot of time to draw because of the physical release so I often felt like I wasn't doing enough.

And honestly that's my main sentiment. While I feel happy and satisfied with releasing the book, another part of me feels like she didn't do enough.

In terms of technical skill, I definitely saw improvement this year. It's like something clicked in me and I had a better understanding of atmospheric lighting. CH 9 and the epilogue are probably some of my favourite bits of colouring I've ever done. I just love how it turned out. In CH 9, the gradual setting of the sun to create this orange/pink/purple colour palette was so fun to implement. And in the Epilogue, this blue/green/yellow rainy day came out perfectly. It was a rainy day, but unlike CH 7, it wasn't a dreary downpour but something more hopeful instead. I have a love for creating atmosphere and especially through colour. And I think I did well there.

In the realm of black/white, I also feel lots of improvement! I'm becoming more confident with monochrome and am starting to push it further. I'm not satisfied with my skill level, but I think it's promising. I may be more confident with creating tone through colour, but I'm sure I can do the same without it!

This year I also did quite a bit of painting. I really love how the October and November artworks came out. Honestly it was around this point in the year, I had the most time to output works as the only comic work I had to do was purely admin (until I started packaging things in November). I could go into technical depth, but this post is long enough. Just know that I'm happy with the little leaps my colouring skills made.

GOALS FOR 2022:

For my art summaries, I've been doing a performance review styled thing where I create goals for the upcoming year. Let's take a look at what goals I wrote for 2022 and how I went with them.

“I want to finish my comic series”

Passed with flying colours! I think the comic release was a success. This goal is a little cheap of a goal though, since I don't think I'd let myself live it down if I gave up.

“I also want to continue to try things that are outside of my comfort zone. I want to see myself try things like different angles/perspectives and more complex backgrounds.”

Now this goal... I think I made progress here. I'm not sure if people noticed but I did definitely try to slip in different angles here and there. I'm particularly good at them... but I'm trying! And I think that's the least I can do. You won't get good at something if you don't try after all. That being said, I should push backgrounds more... I rarely do them 😅

"I want to do more illustrations/quick drawings on top of my comic work."

My comic work was suffocating a lot of the time. But I did try to draw on top of it. I haven't really talked about it, nor shown anyone, but I started learning copic markers this year (borrowed my friend's set!). So in the background I've been doing 30-60 minute traditional art exercises. I'm not terribly diligent, but diligent enough that I already think it's made an impact on my art. See, I'm only doing monochrome copic markers (I'm not confident enough to do colour just yet). I'm pretty sure doing monochrome markers has helped me with my manga skills 😂. I have a better understanding of tones and values because of it! Isn't that kind of amazing? Come to think of it, it's linked to the next goals.

"I want to learn to paint."

"I want to learn to draw faster."

While I still have a long way to go, somehow my marker exercises have helped me with these too. The understanding of tones/values has made an impact on coloured work and painting as well. And because I'm doing shorter pieces, my speed has increased a tiny bit. I'm sure if I keep at it, I can continue to develop better habits!

"I want to draft more quickly and be smarter about it."

Now this goal is something I have just been trying to mentally direct myself to. It's working... a little bit. I still need to try harder.

See, I think my drafting process is really slow and inefficient. This results in me spending too much time drawing a comic because I've drafted like 5 extraneous pages. If I wanna increase my output and lower my workload, I have to learn to be more clever with how I compose each page. I think I got a tiny bit better. Need to work harder on that for sure (it's quite hard to just "learn" though...)

MOVING FORWARD:

With the past year in mind, how do I want 2023 to go? To be honest, I still feel so exhausted because of 2022, I definitely need some time to recover, so let's not go too crazy next year.

But before I create my next goals, I wanted to talk about where I want to go in general - the grand scheme of things. Like I mentioned, I feel a lot of disappointment, like I wasn't doing enough. Which is contradictory because I also feel like I did too much with how exhausted I am... But the source of that disappointment is really tied in with how I feel about my art skill on a technical level.

I'm nearing a whole decade of hobby artist experience. And I don't feel like my art shows it. While there are things that I am better at, there's so much that I struggle with.

I want to become better. I want to improve.

It's hard to explain but I feel like I'm not doing the best I can for the stories I want to tell if I don't keep pushing and learning. And I love what I make, so I want to do those stories justice.

So it's really important to me that I keep trying to improve.

In the long term, I think my dream is to be like a pro-manga artist. Please don't make fun of me LMFAO. But there's more to it. See, I don't actually want to be a pro artist. I never want to compromise my creative vision for the sake of pandering to an audience. I sincerely think I wouldn't be able to succeed without doing that so I'm content with drawing as a hobby. A programmer as my day job and a manga artist by night...

I want to be as skilled as a pro some day though.

To be honest, I think the distance is so great that it's basically impossible. So my true goal is a little lower than that.

My true long-term goal is to be... a little comparable to a pro.

And I don't think I'm at that point. And I don't want to use "being a hobbyist" as an excuse to allow myself to remain like this.

I think it's terrifying actually. Where I'm at with my art.

I'm really happy people enjoy it, and don't get me wrong - I love my own work. I love drawing. But I think it's important to be critical of it - if I want to be able to reach my goals.

I think if people read this far, they might be thinking something like "but you're already so good!" or something to that effect. But I don't think it's true.

I think it's terrifying because there's so much I'm not good at. Comics are scary because they're an amalgamation of so many different skillsets. I possess some of these skills but there's just so many different ways that I feel that I'm lacking.

For instance, my art itself has such stiff lines. I'm not great at perspective. My art isn't dynamic. And this is just a few examples of stuff related to my illustration skills.

But comics are more than that.

There's the individual panel compositions that come together to create a unifying page composition. The visual flow - controlling how the reader scans the page. The storytelling skills - pacing, dialogue, story beats. The dialogue writing skills. The typesetting.

I think there's so many places I'm weak with and it's scary because it's difficult to just pick something to improve at when it feels like everything is wrong at once. It's so easy for me to pick up some manga from a shelf, flick through and think "this artist does x better than me, how can I learn from them?" but learning is hard and I'm not good at it so I'm just stuck with this awareness that I could be better.

But at the end of the day, I just have to pick a direction and go, right? I think that's all I can do and that's okay. It's just hard to shake the feeling of drowning in my own mediocrity.

Sorry I didn't mean to bring down the mood of this art summary.

I promise that at the end of the day that I love drawing. This is just my overly-critical side shining through. I don't have too much natural talent, just a very stubborn mind. I kind of need to be critical so I can push myself in the right direction. And I'm fairly happy with the way I've been pushing myself through these past years.

I'm not particularly fussed if my works receive a lot of traction or not because what's most important to me is the way I see my own work. My personal satisfaction.

And that's just tied with doing the best I can!

So with that in mind...

GOALS FOR 2023:

"Improve at atmospheric lighting"

This isn't particularly ambitious because it's something I'm already working on, but I know I can push lighting even further. So expect to see me experimenting more and more!

"Participate in a paid online course"

Now this is linked to my wall of text just now. I feel very overwhelmed so I think having an unbiased and experienced teacher's guidance could be valuable. I'm eyeing ones that include personalised feedback. The only concern is that it's hard to find the time for things like this when I work full-time.

Also it's a bit scary having a professional roast me, but I think it'd be good for me.

"Continue to practise traditionally"

This is linked to all of my technical art gripes. I think continuing to do traditional art exercises will help me with a lot of my weak points.

"Continue to be ambitious with art"

I don't mean ambition on a work-load level, but I want to continue to push out of my comfort-zone. Keep trying those weird angles and backgrounds, be more experimental!

"Start planning that next story"

I always have a billion different story ideas in my back pocket that I am itching to tell. I also don't wanna die of overwork though. So lets keep the bar low.

I have many great ideas, so I want to start outlining the next one! This is just a vague goal to remind myself to keep thinking ahead.

"Rest up."

I think this is the most important goal. Like I said I feel completely and utterly exhausted this year.

So I want Myon in 2023 to have more time for herself. Improve her health, catch up with her relationships, spend more time watching movies and playing video games.

Don't work too hard next year.

EXTRA REFLECTION:

I seriously don't know if anyone actually reads these reflections. I wonder what kind of person I come off across... (probably a try-hard 😂)

I wanted to talk about one more thing. It's not really linked to goals, just the future in general.

So I've been drawing for Nijigasaki for 2 years now. I think a lot of people are moving on from it though.

To be honest, I think that's okay. I'm kind of used to the people around me shifting into new interests. I think I'll still be with Niji for a long time to come. I just have a lot of large scale ideas and will probably stick with them unless something sweeps me off my feet.

I mean, even if my ideas take too long to actualise while I'm interested in Niji, I'm also open to converting things into original content. There are just so many stories to tell...

It makes me wonder why my readers enjoy my work and how they interact with it? Are people a fan of me? The ship/characters/fandom? Or the stories?

Probably some mix of the above. It's not terribly important why though.

I'm sorry that I'm not very good at keeping up with everyone's interests. I think the world moves too quickly and I draw too slow and I can barely keep up. But I'm a bit too stubborn with my own desires so I keep working on my own things without another thought. So maybe that apology is a bit empty eheh

But I hope people will continue to enjoy the stories that I make.

I should be less harsh on myself though. 9 years of art isn't something to just shrug off.

Anyways, before I keep rambling. Happy new year everyone. Let's keep working hard in 2023!

[pine-niidles]

January Project Updates

I'm going to start this by pretending I'm not posting this a week into February, and you're going to go along with me, ok? Ok! 

Well January sure went by quick! My update last time was pretty hesitant, but I think I am properly getting back into things. On top of that I finally got a reply on my visa and I'm flying back to Scotland at the end of the month 🎉 Very excited to be home! I'm looking forward to seeing my girlfriend and friends again and being back in a space I've designed to work for me. Now, onto what I've been up to:

2023 sketchbook

Part two of attempting to document my art: I put together scans of my physical sketchbook with a bunch of digital drawings from last year. The pdf is pretty much complete, I've just been putting off figuring out the cover and writing a quick intro & outro.  

I guess I'm also kind of hesitant to put a price on it since 60% of it is stuff I've posted publically, but I keep telling myself it's worth it anyway. And it's nice to see all that art in one place rather than lost to void of social media.

Stickers

I got myself some sticker paper and have been doing a bunch of test prints to get to know it (and my printer). I'm really happy with how they're turning out! It's extremely satisfying to print out my art and hold it in my hands.

I plan to set up an online shop sometime after I get back to Scotland, I'll probably open it in March. Sticker packs will be up for sale there alongside zines & prints 🌟

Commissions

Perhaps this is more of a February update but by the time the month is over it'll be too late to let you know! I opened regular commission slots and alongside them I made a fun valentines YCH, only slightly vampire themed. Very self-indulgent but I hope you'll like them it too.

I'll probably only take one more slot before closing both the forms :)

February Plans

- Hourly comics day was the 1st of February. I'm pretending this is just a January update, so I won't go too far into it right now. I did finish it, and I'm formatting the comics to make into a zine!

- Sketchbooking - I'm finally returning to drawing in my physical sketchbook again, I'll start posting scans again as soon as I have ~10 pages done

- Impractical but Extremely Cool Fantasy Swords zine, I have (almost) all the swords finished I just need to put it all together

- and gotta focus on finishing those commissions ofc <3

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

I can't believe I'm exhausted to the point I'm starting to write a post about Garfield, but... sure, let's go.

Despite being to me just another random inoffensive comic I would grab when I was irremediably bored (too bored to gather the mental energy to read a real book), I think it's fair to say that the lasagna-loving cat has reached meme status.........

Every now and then I'll see or hear someone point out that it's ridiculous for a cat, who doesn't go to work or have any obligations, to hate Mondays. That's honestly true. And for the most part, I believe this is a tongue-in-cheek remark, since it only takes glancing at a couple Garfield-hates-Mondays comic strips to know that Garfield's relationship with Mondays is absurd and exaggerated for laughs. Also it's not that deep, he's a cat obsessed with lasagna, whose ability to talk (or lack thereof) is a mystery, and Jon murdered Lyman in cold blood to steal Odie from him. But still, I have seen this sentiment be shared sometimes with the implied meaning of "yeah, that's really dumb and it doesn't make sense, why did Jim Davis think that was a good idea?"

So I'd like to draw your attention to a memory I, myself, have from my childhood, which I promise wasn't that long ago at all.

When I went to and came back from school, every morning and every night, in front of most subway stations, there would be people handing out free newspapers, either the morning or the evening edition. Every evening, I would take my favourite evening paper, glance at its contents just in case an article appealed to me, and then turn it around to read the daily comic strip.

Though the newspaper where I lived didn't print Garfield comics, this is what Garfield originally was. From 1978 (ignoring the Jon comic strip which was also printed by the Times beforehand from what I'm learning by glancing at the Wikipedia page just in case), Garfield was syndicated and distributed in 41 newspapers. (I didn't think it would be that many from the get-go.) This meant that on Labor Day on September 4, 1978, young readers were able to skip all the boring text and rush to the page where this strip was printed:

And on September 18, 1978, which fell on a Monday, readers of all ages were able to read this strip:

This shows that Garfield's relationship with Mondays was akin to a curse from the get-go, but most importantly, it being Monday and Mondays being bad in the Garfield comic strip was never about Garfield. It was about the workers who would read the daily paper on their commute, who probably hated Mondays because they meant the week-end was over, and would enjoy their short-form entertainment being relatable.

Since it's Monday for you, it's also Monday for your good friend Garfield. And by the way, Mondays are the WORST right? That's right, you're not alone, we're all reading Garfield at the same time and feeling the same way.

It wasn't just Garfield - very often, those short strips at the back of the paper had close to no actual substance. Using the comic to point out "today's Monday, and you probably hate it" was a simple way to make some people smile. Your thoughts being mirrored back to you by a funky orange cat in a wacky situation can easily make them feel less dramatic.

[undeadorion]

Okay okay, I've finally given in. In relaunching River City, I'm accepting the format I originally envisioned but cast aside for a number of reasons. I'm going to turn it into an illustrated story.

The reasons I discarded it are kinda still a problem, though. I'd opted for comics because I know a lot about that format and I know lots of people in it. There's resources and I know how to present it so people can find it. But I have absolutely no idea how to present and market an illustrated story. If it were pure prose, maybe. But illustrated? Trying to find others doing something like this lands me in children's book territory which is very much not what I want. Even in more traditional publishing, it's not exactly common.

But that's all a bridge to burn down once I get there. I'm just focusing on the creation part right now. And hot damn I should have done this years ago.

Before I opted for this route, I was trying to revamp the comic to make it feel more interesting. But I had to cut out so much to make the first chapter move fast enough that it felt lacking. But in actually writing it out I could add so much more that wouldn't have worked in a comic format at all. It's difficult to have asides and tangents in comics the way I like to write.

The best part, however, comes with the art. One of the worst parts of drawing comics is all of the tedious work of repetitive panels. It's necessary to draw a back and forth between characters so you're just drawing the same thing slightly shifted over and over. But doing something with just an illustration here and there, I can stick to doing a single, detailed image with all the nuanced background bits my heart desires. Or a big splashy moment with dramatic lighting. It can push more towards stylized in color and shading than needing to be consistent from one frame to the next. and the best part is, I only need to draw that scene once. Well, for that moment or chapter.

I've been so excited about this since I decided on it literally last week that I've found it hard to work on anything else. But I've only had 1 or 2 hours a day and i've already gotten the first chapter like 2/3 written and the illustrations started. I'm already starting to think of how I'm going to release it. Probably in varied sections, anywhere there's a decent cut-off point. And probably sticking to the twice-a-week release schedule with breaks between chapters like I did before. But the breaks will be far shorter because it won't take me 6 months to do a handful of pages.

But the best part of all is it won't take me TEN YEARS to tell this one story.

[davidmariottecomics]

Ask Me (Almost) Anything 2023, Part 2!

Hey all! Welcome back! 

Two weeks ago, I solicited a bunch of questions for an ask me (almost) anything feature on the blog and folks really delivered! I had so many questions that I had to break it up over two weeks! You can read the first half here and let's get into the second! 

@ultimanggo asks: "Hallu David! Ty for the opportunity! Say that there are artists who are fresh grad artists or first timers seeking to apply in IDW as a comic artist, do you look into their works or pitches and consider of hiring them?"

Sure! I have worked with folks who were still doing their undergrad and making comics in their spare time. A lot of comics places are not terribly particular about formal education. They are more concerned with execution--can the artist tell the story clearly and to the standards set by editorial, including meeting deadlines, making requested revisions, not deviating from model, etc. I, and other editors, also sometimes work with colleges to do events and do portfolio reviews for students and recent graduates, and sometimes people get work from that. 

I am often very happy to work with new talent. I like seeing people at the start of their careers and watching them grow and being a part of that. 

@lurkingsupport asks: "Thank you for the opportunity! For someone's first indie comic, what's the best strategy for publishing? Should an artist consider keeping the comic online at first?"

The best strategy for publishing is going to depend heavily on your comic and there isn't a clean one-size-fits-all answer, I'm afraid. If it's a 4 page pastiche of another popular comic, yeah, you're probably fine having it mostly exist digitally. Or printing it as like a little zine that you can take around. If it's a standard 20-24 page one-shot, or series of 20-24 page issues, maybe look into getting it printed. I've heard good things about both RA Comics Direct and Comix Well Spring for indie comics, particularly if you're looking for a smaller print run. All the comics I've made have either gone through larger printers we work with at IDW or are things that I've printed at home (we have a nice printer for stuff my fiance Becca makes), so I can't speak to their services firsthand, but I've heard good things. The biggest factor is ultimately what do you want out of publishing? If it's supposed to be a portfolio piece that you'd want to give out at conventions, or you're interested in having a comic to table events with, I'd say get it printed! If you just want to have a comic done and out in the world, maybe it is better for it to just exist digitally and save the expense of printing for down the line. 

There are other variations--this is not getting into the differences between posting a comic on socials vs. posting it on a subscription site vs. posting it on a webcomic service vs. hosting your website for it or seeking a publisher vs. self-publishing or looking into crowdfunding. And a lot of that comes down to the quality of the work, your comfort with exploring these avenues, your time and finances, and what your starting support base looks like. 

@CalamityCons asks: "How does an editor usually keep track of things like timelines and character rules? Do you have a spreadsheet? I would make a spreadsheet." It only just clicked for me that you're probably asking about "timelines" in a continuity sense, more than a deadlines sense. But I'm going to answer for both! 

In the deadlines sense, I have a whole suite of programs that I'm using to keep track of things. I do use spreadsheets. I have multiple business software sites that I use--from project tracking sites to file transfer sites to internal product databases to external product databases to collaborative sites for art and reference sharing. I mark stuff on my digital calendar and keep track of my daily projects in a notebook (see next question). I have licensor submission sites that help keep track of things. I work with a team of very talented people who help build and watch schedules and readjust when needed. All sorts of stuff! 

In the continuity sense, it varies by editor and property. I tend to work more with documents and decks. So, sometimes I'll be adding new rules to a Google Doc that I share with anyone else working the property including other editors, proofreaders, sometimes talent, etc. Or I'll be reviewing a PDF or Powerpoint from a licensor outlining certain guidelines for us to adhere by. A lot of it is repetition and practice and learning as you go. When I was working on Transformers, I always kinda had a loose timeline written down in a doc for how stories fit together and what happened when, but it was also loose enough that we could make adjustments if a new story needed it. 

@rileysauruss asks: "How do you keep track of everything in that one notebook that seems to have no system? (respectfully) What’s it like working with me? Do you like doing balloon guides?"

The notebook has a system. It's organized chronologically. Every day, I go in, write down my to-do list for the day and as I accomplish things, I cross them out. Generally it's high level information, but I will drill down into something if I know I have multiple tasks to do with it. If I have a meeting that day, my meeting notes go under the day's to-do list. Most things are kept track of by the daily to-do. It's easy to track "finish this issue because it isn't printed yet and it was on the list yesterday." New items are added as I go, so they get incorporated too. Bigger notes that don't fit the "to-do" style--say licensor update type stuff--often has some level of follow-up sent via email or is otherwise added to one of our other tracking mechanisms so it isn't lost in the shuffle. And sure, sometimes I'll be like... figuring out page turns on a Best of and making sure it all works or whatever and will want to eventually go back to that, but then I just sorta flip through and look for it because I usually give those things their own page rather than squeezing them between the daily stuff. 

Pretty great. I like working with you, Riley. You remember stuff because you don't just write it like a mad man in a chaos notebook. You give good feedback. You tell good jokes. It's a really great experience and other people are also lucky to work with you. 

Yeah, actually, kinda? I am very glad that I don't have to do them all the time because they can be kind of a timesuck, but I do like having the extra chance to go through the script and look for typos and adjustments as I'm reviewing the art and I like thinking about balloon placement. It can be almost relaxing. But don't think this means you're getting out of balloon guides. 

@GigiDutreix asks: "Can Luna be a comic?" 

Ask Riley. Luna's her cat. I would say yes, but in this case, it is Riley's decision. 

(This weirdly is a very basic example of how licensing works. Swap "Luna" for "Sonic" and "Riley" for "SEGA".) 

@KWalthersArt asks: "How does one go about working for companies like IDW and what difficulties that might entail especially for people with chronic health issues and/or introverted and anxious?"

Let me begin by saying comic companies employ people in two ways. You have people like me who are staff and you have freelancers who work on contract for certain projects. The necessary requirements of each are pretty different and so the difficulties can be very different too. 

As a staff person, comic companies are ultimately creative office jobs. You start by applying when there's a job posting and take it from there. Most companies have at least one in-person office still and may ask you to regularly show up. Some have gotten a lot better about working remotely over the last couple of years, which I know is a boon to a lot of folks who do have chronic health issues. It is also a job where, besides if there is an in person expectation, a lot of business can be conducted via email. There are often calls--both on the phone and on Zoom and other video calling platforms, but I usually have at least a day a week where I am allowed to work from home and the only people I speak to are my fiance and my cats. Again, that is not necessarily uniform, but sometimes a possibility.

And, like many office jobs, there are also other major drawbacks to all of that. I know a little about how office jobs can be very unfriendly to people on disability and to disabled folks who may not be on disability specifically because of the limitations the American disability program forces upon them. 

From a freelance perspective, a lot of getting work early on is some level of networking, which is tougher when you're introverted or anxious (though TBH, I think a lot of comics people are, which sometimes makes it easier). The whole of the con circuit is different now in many ways, but like... I don't think "bar con" is as much of a thing, which is probably a relief to a lot of folks. I don't drink very much either and do a lot of my social time at shows with people I know, so that pressure is very different. But when it comes to doing the work, I think you just have to be as upfront as you are comfortable with. Like, you don't have to explain everything, but know your limitations and be willing to take on work that matches. Comics often moves quickly and has hard deadlines and needs you to make them, so figure out what is reasonable within your life and schedule and keep to it so that you don't burn out or make yourself sick.  

@Rechi_C asks: "Very important question, do your cats like to read the comics you work on or do they prefer to sleep on them?" My cats can't read. They too dumb. Real cute though. Honestly, more or less sleep? Credit where it is due, they largely leave my comics and books alone. They don't claw at them or chew them or lay on them very much. Sometimes they'll sit on a few, but fairly space-dependent. They are however monsters in basically every other way. 

@RikDraws asks: "Where did you bury the diamonds?"  This is not the real Rik Mack, this is obviously Rouge the Bat posing as Rik and you're never going to find out! 

@spacecolonie asks: "I'd love to hear your thoughts on specific things an editor may look for for when hiring cover artists! any big green flags in portfolios, ways of networking etc. thank you so much for the opportunity to ask! 😄♥"  Yay! It's fun to talk green flags and things I like! 

This may sound a little strange, but I don't look for cover artists very often. A lot of the artists I work with--not all, but a lot of the artists I work with on covers--also are interested in sequentials. I think that practicing staging moments in panels and taking the time to consider what information is key to communicate what you want in a smaller space, as well as how that moment connects to the next in a flow of action, often strengthens people's cover compositions.

Like think about a movie. When you're watching it, all the film is running at a pace that creates consistent moving images and carries you through the story. But if you were to break it into the film strip (or the storyboards), you'll see only key frames are really needed to convey the information when it is still. And one of those key frames might be stronger than the rest and make for a compelling single image. That's kinda what making a cover often is--figuring out what your one compelling image is from all the images that could create the story and that may encompass a story unto itself as a microcosm. And being able to sort through those with a stronger eye makes your work better. 

Rarely are the covers to books I work on character portraits. There are some amazing cover artists who do primarily do portraits, but I often gravitate toward covers with strong action, backgrounds, and/or contrast. Solicits went live this week and we announced a new Godzilla book with some killer covers! And while only one of them is mid-battle, all of them convey really strong action and story, right? Even if they are non-literal to the story inside (which I also kinda like for covers a lot of the time and find compelling), they convey a sense of what the book is about from first glance. And, of course, being able to draw licensed characters on-model while still maintaining your unique style is really important, too!

I'll also say, huge green flag in portfolios: knowing what you want to do and who you are presenting your portfolio to! This is probably the thing I harp on the most, but there are a lot of jobs in comics. Some people feel really comfortable doing a lot of them, some people feel comfortable with just one or two. Don't try to force yourself to do/present things you don't feel comfortable doing professionally. Obviously, feel free to work on things and grow your skills, but a portfolio should be the best representation of who you are as an artist at that moment. The other part of that, knowing who you're presenting to, is not to say you should always (or will always be able to) tailor your portfolio to the hiring person you're showing it to, but it is to say it helps to know who you are showing it to and to have a reason to have them review it. Like... I love superhero comics! No doubt! But I don't edit a lot of superhero comics, so I'm not always the best at providing feedback to superhero heavy portfolios, nor do I necessarily have a lot of openings that fit with the work I'm being presented. And someone who edits horror comics primarily might not have a lot of good feedback for a Disney heavy portfolio. Or a person who excels in character design like for animation might not always work with a comics person because we don't hire a lot of folks just for character design, and most of the ones we do are people who are already in our wheelhouse. 

Finally, networking green flags! Honestly, the big ones there are just being like... a cool person. Pleasant professional interactions go a long way. In this day and age, it's really easy to build a parasocial relationship with someone via social media or whatever and remembering when you're communicating with someone that for as fun as comics are, it is a job is really important. Business cards are good. Respect people's time and learn to recognize when the interaction is over. And if someone says something along the lines of now is not the time to shoot your shot, respect that and wait. 

@DaveScheidt asks: "What was the most unconventional way you have found an artist/writer to work with?" Unconventional? Uhh... I brought a stack of comics to a zine making night for the feminist group I interned for in college and a person really lit up when they saw them and was like "who brought the comics" and then we flirted and went on a date later that week and now we're engaged and also make comics together sometimes, so I guess falling in love. (Hi Becca!)

@tintinpantoja asks: "What's the best way to learn story structure for graphic novels? Do you rely on a certain system, similar to screenwriting?" I find the best way to learn most things about comics storytelling is reading other comics and experimentation. I don't know that every graphic novel has to follow your traditional three or five act structure. And I find a lot of ones I love actively defy it! Not to be a total cop-out, but I think that the structure is highly dependent on the outline. Answers to questions like to what extent is each "chapter" (regardless of whether your book is formally separated in to chapters or not) it's own smaller narrative or what is the intended narrative density of each spread are going to really change things. 

Story structure for a periodical is different, right? Like... you want every 20-ish pages to end in a cliffhanger or some sort of resolution (even if it remains somewhat open-ended). You want your story structure to work across however many issues you're telling the story in, while leaving each hunk as satisfying. But with a GN, sometimes the rhythm of those peaks is going to be different. 

All of which is to say, I think it's something beyond just winging it, but I find it so unique to the work that I don't personally have a systemic version of what I'm looking for/writing to. 

@AndrewCramer78 asks: "How does one get more editors eyes on a colourist portfolio if one is unable to attend US based conventions? Are there preferred online platforms that editors browse for new/undiscovered talent? Thanks!!"

That's a good one! I tend to browse Twitter the most, TBH. The real advantage to Twitter over everything else still at this point is the sharing ability. I'm now on Instagram and some of the other sites, and I check in, but I find the discoverability can really wildly vary there and when it comes to coloring (and lettering) other sites tend to drown out their portfolios. I am curious about Cara and InkBlot, but they are not yet regular haunts for me. 

My other recommendations are collaborate with folks, of course, and have people who can advocate for you to color their work. Check to see if publishers have submission pages or emails because if they do, they do check those, though they might not always be able to quickly reply or be able to use you at that time. Depending on where you are set up, look for bigger international shows you can attend because those do often bring in US based editors. My last big recommendation is getting an agent/manager. I get emails daily or weekly from agents who want to put their people forward for projects and, yeah, have hired folks from those. 

@genderdestroyer asks: "What are the best parts about your job as an Editor? What kind of challenges do you come across in that position, especially with overseeing more than one IP/series? I’d also love to know more about your editorial process and how you work with the artists on these comics! ✍🏻✨" Not to sound too sappy, but I like seeing people succeed. It's really satisfying knowing that like, Riley has become such a strong editor in her own right. Or seeing folks who I gave their first jobs pop up on other books/sometimes be too busy to do stuff for me. I also like getting to reach out to people whose work I admire and get to collaborate with them in my way. Also, I dunno. I like getting to talk to people about comics--including sometimes doing stuff like this. I like helping people figure out what ideas will work best--both on a creator side and a licensor/company side. And sometimes my job pays for stuff. That's nice. 

To the point of collaborating, my editorial style is, I think, guiding more than defining most of the time. I want to hand my artists the reference they need--scripts, other art, whatever--and give them the space to infuse themselves into a project and sort of pull on the reins when needed, give notes when needed, but let them figure it out because that makes a lot of great work. And then in-between that, I play middleman with licensors and approvals type people and work with them and the artist to make sure everyone's expectations and needs are being met. I put a lot of faith into the people I work with and am often rewarded by that. 

In terms of challenges, there are more than a few. Because things are happening so quickly, often the things that are prioritized are the most urgent/the most behind and sometimes having to make the call to fix that means the next thing is going to have less time and that will continue to happen. A huge reason why you see consistent creators--or a consistent pool of creators--on a book is because like I said earlier, I put a lot of faith into the people I work with, and sometimes that is a matter of necessity. I need people I know I can leave be and who will meet the expectation so I can fix the things that need it--especially because not every book gets the same amount of time. Scheduling is always tough too, and tougher when you're working with people who do crossover from one series to another. And problems always seem to come in sets, so if something is going wrong on one property's book, you can almost be assured something's going to go wrong on another. It is a stressful job and I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't love the parts of it that I do absolutely love. 

@Astramyths asks: "Would absolutely love to know what you might look for in cover/concept artists outside of a person's portfolio? Like through their social media, etc. Do you mind if artists have side accounts for fandom stuff? Since I already saw a lot of questions Abt portfolios proper :)"

This is really interesting. Because I do find a lot of artists on social, yes, I do often check people's socials. It often is kind of a vibe check, for lack of a better term. I want my interactions to be pleasant ones and professional ones for both our sake, and sometimes you can tell you would not work well with a person for one reason. I'm not like... searching for a gotcha reason not to work with someone or only interested in working with people with certain follower counts or whatever, but when I do look, I am often interested in whether I think we'll be a good collaborative fit. 

I don't mind fandom side accounts or (as long as the artist in question is an adult and is depicting adults) NSFW side accounts or whatever. I think it's nice to be engaged with the community in different ways. However, to that end, it can be complicated to interact with a fandom once you've worked on it professionally, or it can be complicated to just be in a fandom because communities are complicated, and so that can also sometimes be part of the vibe check too. 

@JustOwenE asks: "Hi, if someone is ever thinking of writing but has had no prior experience, what is the best approach; would you just go at it & hope for the best?"

Kind of? To the earlier question about story structure, I think it's worth it to read other works and get a feel for how they are written. I think outlining can be really helpful to develop a narrative skeleton for yourself to follow. And there are a TONNNNNN of good books about writing because--and I say this as a writer as well as an editor--if there's one thing writers like more than actually writing, it's writing about writing. But, yeah, at some point, it's good to just go for it and hope for the best. Start small and build. Not every work needs to be published or widely read and you can harness your craft slowly and build toward bigger projects. But really, yeah, the only way to start is to do it and to do it for yourself, get a feel of how you write, and then keep really doing it for yourself, but being willing to share it and see if it resonates with other people more and more. 

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), Mass Effect (Video game), Rise of the TMNT (Cartoon), Craig of the Creek (Cartoon), Devil House by John Darnielle (Book), Trainspotting (Movie), Genshin Impact (Video game), Nadja's birthday, finishing this AMA! 

New Releases this week (4/19/2023): Sonic the Hedgehog #59 (Editor)

New Releases next week (4/26/2023): Off week! 

Announcements:

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY! Reminder that Becca and I are going to be at Geoffrey's Comics (4068 Redondo Beach Blvd, Torrance, CA) for Free Comic Book Day this year. As always, it's the first Saturday in May (the 6th). I'll have whatever stock I have left of all my comics after all our other recent shows, so still a pretty decent amount of TF/Terminator, some Hanazuki singles, and some Wreckers, plus a selection of titles I've edited like Sonic, Godzilla, and more! 

Fangaea! I will be there as Becca's booth babe next Saturday, 4/29! Which also means next week's blog might be Sunday or we might be very short the next couple of weeks! This also means Becca's only doing Wednesday streams on Twitch the next two weeks, but you should definitely subscribe! They just hit their 50 follower goal and are on their way to affiliate, which is cool! Also they have a lot of rad art streams and game streams and stuff! 

I was on this week's episode of The Comic Chronicle Podcast! Talking comics, conventions, good advice from Paul Levitz, and more! Give it a listen if you haven't somehow gotten enough of me talking about comics after this! 

Pic of the Week: Podcast promo and another good Nadja pic for her birthday!