#your honor they are simply sooooo silly

[dxppercxdxver]

hello hello! in preparation for the opening of @tf2shipswag's oc bracket For Real i have written a vaguely persons-of-the-tale-esque bit of propaganda fiction in which our unwitting ocs experience a historical anachronism and discover they have been entered into the oc bracket! if you like early enemies to lovers and a tasteful dose of meta fiction (along with aggressively 18th century styled prose) you'll probably like this! i call it "there's such a thing as an author" or "persons of the tale But Worse"

Somewhere just to the left of the story well known, Samuel Mundy sat perched in the bay window, long legs stretched across the whorled-grain boards with languid content. Liquid summersong pooled in his lap with all the warmth of a loyal cat, golden and simple. The glass panes were thrown open to let in the comfort of the season—what little could be snatched from the jagged-toothed forest filled with the crack of gunfire, anyway—and he clutched a chipped china saucer in his fingers, picking at a fresh bread roll.

Gazing across the Manor’s ill-tended garden, Samuel sighed nearly dreamily, a reflexive smile playing across his cracked lips. For once, his little world was quiet, nary a disturbance to be found.

Of course, however, his peace was not destined to last, and Miss Pauling’s far off cry of, “Mail, boys!” roused the rabble from deep within the house’s corridors, who all came a-bustling with the energy of an anthill, and idle chatter filled the air, quickly snuffing the silence. Samuel, pointedly ensconced in his window-borne nest, merely watched his compatriots greet their friend and sponsor on the lawn as she distributed the sheaves of parchment and carefully tied packages amongst them. They were permitted some personal effects at their stations, which included a small allowance for assorted trinkets and treasures, and thus the days Miss Pauling ventured into town were filled with a quiet sort of excitement. Much as they were soldiers of a secret war, and trained for such, it grew dreadfully lonely and dreadfully threadbare.

This day, though… Something about it was different.

While the great majority of his fellows dispersed from the lawn as swiftly as they had come, their spy, Laurent, remained, conversing with Miss Pauling. Samuel could hardly make out a word at his distance, but his eyes were sharpened by his particular profession, and the feeling between their persons was a tense one. Her brows were furrowed sharply over the silvery frames of her spectacles, and Laurent’s hands formed clipped gestures at his sides. Whatever it was they spoke of, it hardly seemed a pleasant thing.

After mere moments more, Laurent plucked a paper from Miss Pauling’s elegantly gloved fingers and held it out before him, pursing his lips as he studied it, before shaking his head, offering Miss Pauling a crisp salute, and trudging across the lawn.

In what appeared to be Samuel’s direction.

Growling softly, Samuel wrinkled his nose, staring firmly down at his plate in some vain hope Laurent would pass him by, that the mysterious business he appeared so perturbed by was kind enough to leave Samuel alone. The last thing he needed was another catastrophe atop the neverending tumultuousness of his wartime existence.

“Bushman.”

In spite of his willing, Laurent’s infuriatingly smooth voice lilted into his ears with a weariness that belied an intent beyond an obligatory passing greeting, and Samuel found himself looking up to meet his tired gaze.

The warmer weather had done a kindness to the spy; his sallow complexion and skeletal frame were given a new life in the sun, and the embroidery in his suit shimmered like the finest of jewels. And still, Samuel couldn’t help but find him dour, unpleasant, and downright infectious in his discomfort. Almost in response to Laurent’s hardened grimace, Samuel shifted in his seat, his skin itching ‘neath his clothes.

“Spook.”

When the acknowledgement of Laurent’s presence failed to dispel him from Samuel’s immediate company, he sighed, and turned to properly face the equally beleaguered spy, letting his boots sway loosely beneath him.

“Unless it’s business, I’m not interested,” he said brusquely, fixing Laurent with a firm stare that he returned with unflinching readiness. Pale eyes bored into his own as Laurent shook his parchment bounty open with a sharp flick of the wrist.

“While my present port of call has little to do with our current occupation,” he said, calm and measured, “I have a feeling you will want to see this.”

The paper was rough and worn, stained deep yellow with the wear of travel, and the ink splashed across it was coming off on his skin and the leather of his glove in small flakes, but there was no mistaking the printing.

At first, Samuel blanched, presuming it a call for their heads, but as he read, the fear curdled into something far more baffling. Taking up most of the page was a sketched rendition of the two of them—sniper and spy—stood side by side, illustrated Laurent flashing a wry smirk at his ink-bound companion that the drawing of Samuel readily returned. Bold typeface toward the top spelled out “WANTED” clear as day, although there was no reward attached. Twirling arrows pointed to Laurent and him in turn, annotating precisely who was whom. There was yet more type at the bottom, but Samuel had rather stopped processing exactly what it said by then, and handed the sheet back to Laurent with an incredulous scowl.

“What in the hell is this?”

As Laurent crisply refolded it and placed it in an inner pocket, he replied, “We appear to have been entered into some sort of tournament.”

“Tournament?” Samuel’s mind whirled, spiraling out endless possibilities, each one markedly worse than the last, “As in… fighting?”

“Mercy of mercies, I do not believe so,” Laurent mused, crossing his arms and glancing into the distance. “Even with my considerable skill, we would hardly stand a chance with you on our side.”

“Watch your tongue, Frenchie.” Livid, Samuel snapped, instinctively reaching for the machete at his side. “Don’t pretend you’re not glad of this as well.”

Laurent snorted. “Of course I am, but it is hardly a matter of cowardice.”

“Yeah? What is it, then?”

“I do not wish to dirty my suit,” Laurent sneered, mouth curved sharp as his knife. In that moment, Samuel wished for nothing more than to knock that wretched expression from his face, but resorted instead to knotting his fist in the fabric of his shirt. It certainly would not do to lose his composure so early and in a place so visible to his superior, but oh how he longed to rattle Laurent around, maybe beat some sense into him along the way.

Samuel rolled his eyes. “Fine. If we’re not to be fighting, what exactly are we meant to be doing?”

“If I am interpreting the missive correctly,” Laurent said, smoothing the fine hairs of his wig, “it is really less of a gladiatorial affair, and more of a… popularity contest.”

“Oh.” Cocking his head, Samuel let the implications wash over him, feeling his body recoil in the wake. “Oh.”

“Strange, is it not?” Taking a deep breath, Laurent shrugged slow and deliberate. “Still, I suppose I might consider myself at an advantage. I have many a desirable quality to be considered…” He trailed off, but Samuel was suddenly alight with energy.

Held in his hands was the opportunity to be absolutely devilish, and he seized it with vigor.

“Oh, really?” he said, feigning innocence. “Like what?”

Laurent whirled, eyebrow raised in sharp relief. “Is this a joke?”

“No.” Samuel poured as much sincerity into his voice as he could, leaning forward with earnest. “You see, we’ve been friends for so long—” he stifled a laugh, “—and I’d never even realized! Please, tell me about these ‘desirable qualities,’ I would love to hear all about them, and at the greatest of lengths.”

For a long, terrible pause, Laurent only stared, and Samuel faintly worried he was about to receive a length of cold steel across the throat or wedged between his ribs, but then Laurent’s cheeks flared red beneath his powder, and his mouth hung agape.

“You— you arse!” he snarled, seizing Samuel by the cravat and drawing their faces close. “You would do well to mind your manners, bushman. I do not abide mockery, nor do I suffer a fool, and you, sir, are a prime example. Remember this, lest I be forced to remind you.” With this, he drew his suit back, revealing the delicately tooled sheath for his beloved dagger. Samuel swallowed, thought up every prayer he could, and grinned wolfishly, fiddling with Laurent's elegant sleeve cuff.

“Wouldn’t want to get this dirty, would you?”

Laurent’s nostrils flared, his breath hot on Samuel’s lips, before he released him, pushing him back roughly and huffing, indignant. Samuel massaged his neck, relief coursing through his veins. A scant few feet away, Laurent stood in profile, nearly serene if not for the subtle movement of mute, furious speech.

“Nice talking to you,” Samuel said cheerfully, and, strange as anything, Laurent actually laughed. It was a brief, choked thing, barely identifiable as humor, if not for the smile playing across his face.

“You, sniper,” he said, reaching out and taking a bite of Samuel’s bread roll, “are a ridiculous, ridiculous man.” With this last remark, he about-faced and trudged across the lawn, spine ramrod straight and be-ribboned hair flouncing against his back.

“I know you are, but what am I?” Samuel called after him, and Laurent retorted with a sharp, “Go fuck yourself!” which Samuel could only meet with a thrown bread roll. It collided with the back of Laurent’s head with a satisfying muffled thunk, and Samuel cackled as Laurent let loose a long stream of French obscenities, harshly adjusting his wig so rudely whacked askew.

“I hope you know I despise you,” Laurent hissed once he had deemed himself presentable, and disappeared inside the house with the slam of the heavy oaken door.

“Yeah, yeah, hate you too,” Samuel said. Tucking his legs back into his window seat, he inhaled the lively summer air, and discovered he could not stop his beaming.

[as ever, flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @chiropteracupola]

[minijenn]

Just finished Breath of the Wild as part of my huge Zelda marathon to prep for Tears of the Kingdom, so I guess I might as well rank all of the games that I played for it! Keep in mind that was I bit pressed for time so I had to skip a few entries. For this marathon I did not play: Zelda 2, the Oracles games, Minish Cap, the Four Swords games, Triforce Heroes, or Age of Calamity. As for the games I did play... Here’s how I (personally) think they stack up: 

1. Breath of the Wild: Wow, completely not surprising that my favorite game of all time is my favorite Zelda game too! But honestly this game just... hits in all the right places. I love exploring its massive world, finding its little secrets, just basking in the immersive environment of it all. I love its story and how its told to you little by little, how we get such an interesting take on Zelda and her relationship with Link, I love the champions, both old and new, I love the gameplay, the atmosphere, all the little tools and tricks the game gives you to play with, I love almost everything about it! Only thing I’m meh on is the shrines but that seems to be everyone’s opnion. Other than that, its a fantastic game, still at the top of my list and the top of my heart. 

2. Skyward Sword: STOP BEING SO MEAN TO SKYWARD SWORD GUYS ITS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE I LOVE IT SO MUCH no but seriously Skyward Sword is sooooo special to me. It just... fills me with so many raw emotions in a way that few other video games can. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, it makes me experience its beautiful, tragically simple story on such a lovely level. I love how it plays, how many items it gives you, how it has the BEST dungeon design in the whole series, I love Skyloft, I love Groose and Ghirahim and Fi and how this game probably has my favorite Link in the entire series (he’s so precious your honor I love him). It’s soundtrack is godly, everything about it is beautiful. If you dislike this game, you dislike fun and joy. I don’t make the rules. 

3. Wind Waker: Always in my top three, Wind Waker is such a delight. It also falls into the category of games that hit me in the feels. Its story is so simple yet it hits so right, its art style is simply lovely, exploring the sea is great, the dungeons are great, this version of Link and Zelda (or should I say Tetra) are great, the MUSIC IS SO GREAT (my favorite soundtrack in the series imo). I just love it so much. Only reason is isn’t #2 is bc I got hit so hard in the feels by SS this time around ahahah. 

4. Ocarina of Time: I know, very traditional. But the more I think about it, the more I just have to put it in the top five. OoT is just so fundamentally... Zelda, ya know? It established so much of what I love for the series, the lore, the asthetic, the gameplay, all things the series still follows to this day. Its story is honestly one of my favorites in the series, its music is just iconic in every way, its dungeons are (mostly) good, its overworld is really fun to explore, I adore it, always have since I first played it on a shitty emulator when I was 12. 

5. Spirit Tracks: Ok So hear me out please. I know this is an insane take but... I fucking love Spirit Tracks??? Like a lot? I love this version of Zelda so much she’s so FUN and I love that she goes on the journey with you. I love riding around on my silly little choo choo train, I like the dungeons well enough and the music? fucking peak. Honestly I just... got so immersed in this one while I was playing it? It just hits the right spot for me, I don’t know what to tell you. It gives me serotonin. 

6. Majora’s Mask : So I actually used to really hate Majora’s Mask? Crazy, I know. But playing it again this time... I don’t know. Something happened. It just geled with me in a way it never had before. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a bunch of problems with it. The time limit stresses me out too much, the dungeons are fucking awful, the bosses suck, the music is kinda meh, but then also like??? the sidequests are the best in the series, Clock Town is the best hub in the series, the masks are fun to collect and play around with. The game is fun. I can no longer deny it like I used to before. I like Majora’s Mask. 

7. Link’s Awakening: So this has and always will be my favorite top down Zelda. I love how it plays and I love the setting so much. It comes across as such a cute little game but there’s this underlying layer of tragedy that just... hits so well. Its music is great, the dungeons are fun, the sidequests are fun. What can I say? Just a really solid experience all around. 

8. A Link to the Past: Fun fact, playing ALTTP for this marathon was the first time I ever beat it! And I really enjoyed my time with it! Its much like OoT in that its a series trend setter but for the 2D games and it does a great job of that! The soundtrack slaps, the dungeons are very well designed, the story is nothing to write home about, but the overworld is very fun to explore. I liked it a lot! 

8. A Link Between Worlds: I gotta say I was... somewhat underwhelmed this time around with ALBW. Idk what it was it just... didn’t do it for me? Don’t get me wrong, I still like it, but it really did just feel like a Link to the Past but with a few new mechanics thrown in. And those mechanics are fun and well executed, but... idk. Underwhelmed 

9. Hyrule Warriors: I hesitate to say this even counts because its not a “traditional” Zelda game. But when push comes to shove, as much as I like the fanservice and sheer silliness of this game, the gameplay loop is very... samey and boring? Outside of this and AoC I’ve never played another Warriors game so idk if that’s a series standard but still, AoC does the concept a lot better and if I had time to play it before ToTk I would but... eh. 

10. Twilight Princess: Ohhhhh boy I can see ya’ll freakin out now. Just cool it for a sec and let me explain. My most recent playthrough of TP was... fucking abysmal. I did not have fun with it. I hated the dungeons, I hated how dry and dull the gameplay loop in general was, I was very bored with the world and the music. Hell, the only things I actually liked in the game were Midna (of course) and surprisingly, Wolf Link? Idk I just thought it was a nice break from the norm. But outside of that, i dunno man, it just frustrated me. By the time I got to the final boss of the game, I was so burnt out and ready to be done with it. Guess my grudge is lasting even still.

10. Phantom Hourglass: Oy. I was dreading this one and I can safely say its just... Ok. Not good, not awful, just... Ok. The Temple of the Ocean King fucking sucks asss, and the world as a whole is generally umemorable but there are other things about the game  I enjoyed like, uh... Linebeck. He was cool. And... that’s about it. :| 

11. Legend of Zelda: I don’t enjoy the NES Zeldas. I think they’re too fucking archaic and cryptic for their own good. There I fucking said it. Leave me alone. 

[irrigos]

@juggle-monkey i didnt make any posts about it, just mentioned it in the answer to an ask, where i said it got the dubious honor of being the worst dating sim i ever played

tbh its not like. THAT bad. i thought the art looked nice and the dungeon crawl mechanics were pretty fun. but i was not into ANY of the love interests (i am simply not that into skinny people, and none of them had interesting enough personalities for me to look past the fact that i wasnt immediately attracted to any of them) (i think they added a big guy in an update or maybe dlc, but he wasn't in the game when i played it)

i also didnt enjoy the story, but i was very shocked to finish the game a few days after release, go on twitter to see how other people felt about it, and see them be very mad because they thought the game had too MUCH plot.

(i dont really consider this a spoiler because theres literally a content warning about it at the start of the game, but if you wanted to go into the game knowing absolutely nothing... well idk why you asked for my opinion then!!) the main plot of the game is your player character goes on a date with a guy and then he stalks you. there was a good chunk of Disc Horse about this, because some of the players hadnt known it was coming, and were pretty upset that they were being stalked when they just wanted cozy low stakes dungeon crawls with hotties. there were even people telling this characters voice actor that taking this role reflected badly on him, that he would be comfortable even PRETENDING to be this guy. obviously this was very silly, and none of this was how i felt about the game. to be honest, i just thought it was really boring and kinda dumb! the bad guy is so comically bad from the first moment you meet him that i instantly knew he was the villain, hes literally the only character you cant flirt with (iirc you cant even really be nice to him) so the fact that it turns out he's evil is sooo obvious. and then everyone you know is 1000% on your side and agree hes a creep and he sucks. (which is... not usually how it goes, from my observation!!) and then at the end the villain literally says he needs to go to therapy. i just thought it was sooooo uninteresting and simplistic, like it was a children's cartoon meant to teach the youth important lessons about boundaries.

also the first romance route i did, the guy told me we weren't dating and he just wanted to keep it casual, and i was like "cool sure" and then later he dumped me for falling too in love with him. which was funny because i really felt nothing for him. was fully just using him bc his weapon was fun

anyway i know lots of people did like the game, and i had fun when i was actually playing it. i guess the takeaway here is that, if none of the love interests seem like they would appeal to you, they won't, and if you're wondering if the game will surprise you, it wont do that either

[glompcat]

For the meme: Thirteenth Doctor or Adora or Catra

Sorry this took so so sooooo long! First my cat sat on my lap and I had to drop everything to pay attention to him (I. Had. To.) and then just as he released me from my petting duties my mom asked me to drive around for a bunch of errands because it was snowing out and she didn’t want to drive herself.

But! The errands have been completed and the cat is content simply sitting NEXT to me instead of on top of me for the moment, so I have the ability to use my laptop and type!

Thirteen

Why I like them: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok where do I start? She tries so so so so so so so hard to LEARN from all her many many millions upon billions of past mistakes, but manages to make brand new mistakes every single time, often with horrific results, but boy howdy is she TRYING HER BEST to DO BETTER and actually internalize the things all her many friends have been yelling at her over the years and keep her newest friends SAFE and ALIVE and NOT SEVERLY TRAUMATIZED.

Why I don’t: It just isn’t right to bring your human friends into the midst of the Cyberwar while high off your tits on ginger candies. Honestly, she should know better (I AM NEVER GETTING OVER THE GINGER HUMBUGS OMFG).

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Timeless Children

Favorite season/movie: Series 12

Favorite line: I really love her speech in her very first episode, The Woman Who Fell To Earth, it feels like a fitting description of the ethos of her era: “...we're all capable of the most incredible change. We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next. Now's your chance.”

Favorite outfit: Spyfall vs The Haunting of Villa Diodati FIGHT

OTP: I’ve got two. One that is specific to this incarnation, and one that is just inherent to the character, always there ever since Pertwee and Delgado. Which is to say both Thirteen/Yaz and The Doctor/The Master 

Brotp: She really isn’t letting herself have one. The Fam tries and tries and tries but she just keeps locking them out.

Head Canon: Sometimes when she visits Gallifrey she walks to the places where people she cared about used to live or work and pretends to have whole conversations with them, that always end with the person chastising her for all of her failures before she returns tot he fam feeling more sure than ever that she doesn’t really deserve their friendship anyway so keeping them at arms length is for all of their benefit, really.

Unpopular opinion: Top tier Doctor with tons of amazing characterization moments and just INCREADIBLE acting.

A wish: Let. Her. Rest.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: lololol making statements like this about the Doctor, any Doctor, is a silly endeavor imho

5 words to best describe them: Traumatized, Hyperactive, Secretive, Reckless, Snarky

My nickname for them: Hi yes I continue to be mystified by this field

Adora

Why I like them: She both does and does not meet your standard protagonist tropes, in a way where it mainly comes down to gendered norms than anything else. A lot of the tropes she does meet are ones we are very familiar with seeing male protagonists in fantasy stories occupy but not really girls. Which is true of a lot of characters I adore, they tend to be the ones who are really pushing those boundaries of gendered expectations.

Why I don’t: As a person who is 5′2″ I reserve the right to resent someone who is not only taller than me, she can magically transform into someone waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay taller than I am.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Look, her behavior while in an altered state in ‘White Out” is hilarious.

Favorite season/movie: TBH Season 3 had so many great moments for her.

Favorite line: 

Favorite outfit: She really doesn’t change clothes very much, does she?

OTP: Her wife?

Brotp: Glimmer and Bow truly are the bestest friends she could have ever hoped for

Head Canon: It took her a long long time after everything was finally over to start to truly process it all. To allow herself to relax, to admit to being vulnerable, to cry. She fought against those things, so much of her sense of self worth is wrapped up in playing the role of the strong protector, forever shoving her own trauma aside to deal with someone else’s, distracting herself from her own pain, her own needs. It is one thing to name that problem, it is something else entirely to actually work through it. Of all people it is Catra who eventually confronts her. She knows Adora’s patterns better than anyone, and she certainly can recognize (and hates) when Adora is doing her protective nonsense thing. Melog of course helps Catra through it, but after a lot of work finally, finally, they reach a point where Adora is able to admit to being weak, to simply hold Catra and cry it out, accept the protection of others without tensing up and feeling like a complete failure to need to reach out for help. It isn’t easy, but with time and a lot of love and support she does get there.

Unpopular opinion: So much of who she is the result of severe child abuse, and her actions are motivated by pain and trauma just as much as Catra’s ever were.

A wish: For her to just be able to relax and drop her guard entirely.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Everything that would have gone here was addressed on the show itself, which is part of the fun of her being the main character, I suppose.

5 words to best describe them: Kind, Silly, Book-Smart, Naive, Hurt 

My nickname for them: ~~~~~~~~~~I hate this field ~~~~~~~~~~~

Catra

Why I like them: She had one of the best redemption arcs I have ever seen.

Why I don’t: Errrrr.... all of those horrible things she did?

Favorite episode (scene if movie): 

Favorite season/movie: Season 5

Favorite line

Favorite outfit: The suit she wore to Princess Prom

OTP: Her wife????????????????????????????

Brotp: There is a part of me that wants to say that one day she Scorpia and Entrapta can be a proper set of best friends, but honestly her bestest bro is Melog.

Head Canon: She sheds a hell of lot in the spring, has the occasional hairball, and is prone to complaining loudly about how hungry she is only to turn her nose up at any and all food as soon it is available to her.

Unpopular opinion: Even after everything we saw her do to start the work in Season 5, she still has a whole lot she is going to need to do to really start to make amends for the things that she did to the people of Etheria.

A wish: Much like Adora, I really hope she finds that sense of inner peace and contentment she needs. Oddly I think she is on a faster track to get there by the end of the series than Adora.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Do you ever wonder if she has flashbacks to when she was fully under Hordak Prime’s mind control? Because I sure do (same for everyone else who was controlled).

5 words to best describe them: Hurt, Angry, Raw, Vulnerable, Healing

My nickname for them: Is this a thing? A thing that people do? Why is it I never did this whole nickname for characters thing??????????????

[fortunatelylori]

GOT: The exhausting march towards the dramatic TWIST

I think I’m going to shock people with this statement but ... out of all the season 8 episodes we’ve seen so far, episode 4 is by far my favorite. 

Now don’t get too excited by the seemingly warm tone ... what I mean by favorite is that I hated it less than episode 1 through 3, which is about as high a praise as I’m likely going to have for this debacle that is season 8. 

General impressions:

There are two reasons why I felt this episode was better than the last 3: 

1. It was more focused, with 3 clear storylines: D*ny’s war for the crown (story A), Jon’s and his family continuing to be dead inside (story B), Jaime’s return to his sister-lover (story C). This kind of focus and definite structure should be a given. However GOT decided to go all yolo on our asses this season and as we’ve already covered in my other reviews, it’s gotten to the point where I’m genuinely shocked to see an episode that doesn’t jump from plot point to plot point like an enraged orangutan on ecstasy. 

2. It was centered around this woman: 

Look at that face... Holy Shit! She’s going to give me nightmares!

Now, normally an episodes focused on D*ny would be bad news for me because I don’t particularly care for her, as half of my list of metas can conclusively prove. 

However, since she’s the only character whose POV isn’t hidden and her scenes aren’t cut short or drained of any and all possibility of actual human emotion, she’s become the only character that I can watch without feeling frustrated, confused or on the verge of an anxiety attack. I actually like to know what the hell is happening on screen and what the character wants in any given scene. Call it a pet peeve of mine. 

Although even D*ny, as well rounded a character as she is, suffers from the Ds oscillating trend this season. Last episode, D*ny stood her ground against the NK, committed herself and her armies to the defense of the realm and saved Jon’s life. This episode, she’s back in full Mad King’s daughter mode, with a pinch of Viserys on the side. 

But that’s a quibble, honestly and you can always argue that Jorah’s death really pushed D*ny into a dark place in which the crown of Westeros and her war against Cersei becomes more important than her own humanity. 

However, what isn’t a quibble is that death seems to have become a shorthand device the Ds employ to signal D*ny’s eventual rise as Queen of the Ashes. She loses Jorah in episode 3 and by the end of episode 4, she loses both Rhaegal and Missandei as well, leaving her in a seeming cliffhanger over whether or not to put the Red Keep to the torch as revenge. 

The problem is that D*ny had been chopping at the bit to burn down King’s Landing since season 7 when she had to be talked out of doing just that TWICE. This episode Tyrion once again has to put the breaks on D*ny’s fiery fantasies. 

This scene right here is a treasure trove of Mad D*ny clues. But let’s focus on two of them. Firstly, the impetuous to burn KL is stil there: 

D*ny: We will hit her hard. We will rip her out root and stem. 

Tyrion: The objective here is to remove Cersei without destroying King’s Landing. 

That is not a happy face ...

As D*ny put’s it, they need the capital because otherwise Cersei can continue calling herself the queen of the 7 kingdoms. 

That’s D*ny’s priority, folks: the acquiring of that stupid title. 

And if she has to march her weakened army, her sick dragon/child for thousands of miles and burn thousands of innocent people to get that title, she’ll do it. 

Considering this set-up, why exactly did we need Missandei and Rahegal to die? One day into Tyrion’s proposed blockade and D*ny would be roasting giant marshmallows in the Red Keep gardens. 

In my opinion,  the reasons for killing Rhaegal and Missandei are not tied to the dark!dany arc at all. Instead, Rhaegal gets killed because they want to make the D*ny/Cersei conflict as even as possible so they’re eliminating one of D*ny’s weapons of mass destruction. 

And Missandei ... poor Missandei gets killed in order to shock the audience. There is absolutely no reason to kill her in this way ... If she was to die, the time for that would have been in episode 3. They have to actually push the suspension of disbelief in order to convince the audience that somehow Euron got a hold of this girl from an armada of wrecked ships, instantly knew how important she was, dragged her back to the Red Keep and then brought her up on that wall expecting .... what??! 

Euron and Cersei are far too smart to believe D*ny will give up her war for Missandei so why kill her so publicly? To intimidate D*ny? They didn’t need Missandei for that. They could have just as well beheaded all of the hostages they took from the ships. 

They kill Missandei because that’s the easiest way for the Ds to surprise the audience and for them to garner some sort of sympathy for D*ny when she eventually does end up going all Pablo Escobar on a city filled with a million people. 

The other glaring Mad D*ny moment in the scene and one that plays straight into political Jon, is this: 

Sansa: The men we have left are exhausted. Many of them are wounded. They will fight better if they have time to rest and recuperate. 

D*ny: How long do you suggest? 

Sansa: Can’t say for certain. Not without talking to the officers. 

D*ny: I came North to fight alongside you. At great cost to my armies and myself. And now that the time has come to reciprocate, you want to postpone?

Jon: The Northern forces will honor their promises and their allegiance to the queen of the 7 kingdoms. What you command, we will obey. 

I’ve seen a lot of people being angry at Jon for “taking D*ny’s side” in this conflict but in order to understand how this plays into political Jon, there are 2 things you need to keep in mind: 

The first is exactly when Sansa intervenes in the conversation. She steps in directly after both Tyrion and Jon manage to convince D*ny not to burn down King’s Landing. D*ny reluctantly agrees to the blockade because that would mean having to wait to take the crown and as she puts it: 

D*ny: The longer I leave my enemies alone, the stronger they become.  

Now Sansa wants to delay her even further. This is not acceptable to D*ny. 

In addition to that, I don’t think Sansa appreciates just how dangerous and volatile D*ny is. She doesn’t know about the men being fed to dragons, or the 163 crucified masters or how close she was to jumping on a dragon and burning down KL in the past. 

Jon, however, does understand D*ny quite well by this point. I don’t buy his speech as him agreeing with D*ny at all in this scene and considering this is the face he puts on to silence Sansa: 

I’d say this is a guy desperately trying to keep a bomb from exploding directly in the face of someone he cares very deeply about. 

Narratively, I believe this is supported by the Sansa/Tyrion scene later on when Sansa is surprised to realize that Tyrion is actually afraid of D*ny. She simply hadn’t considered that people are scared of what D*ny might do. 

As interesting as D*ny’s descent into madness is (despite Missandei’s useless death), it’s counterbalanced by the shit show that continues to be Jon Snow. 

Watching Jon’s arc this season, and by extension all the Starks, is like banging your head against a concrete wall over and over again, without making a dent. It’s pointless, exhausting and painful. 

At this point I don’t care if he’s in love with D*ny or Sansa, if he’s pol!Jon or idiot!Jon, if he wants to be king or fuck off beyond the wall. I genuinely don’t care anymore. What I do care about is being given access to Jon’s story enough to figure out what the hell he wants and what he’s doing. 

It’s one thing to keep a character’s POV hidden for an episode but we’re going on almost 2 seasons now. And Jon isn’t a secondary character like Littlefinger where you can get away with hiding the POV because he’s not as big a part of the plot as a main character is. 

But Jon is a main character and this effort to keep him enigmatic and mysterious isn’t only wreaking havoc on his arc but it’s also affecting the rest of the Stark family. Case and point: 

In case anyone is keeping score, this is actually the first and only scene all the Starks have together in 4 episodes, amounting to 5 hours of footage. 

And just look where they decide to end this scene! Right when we’re going to see Arya and Sansa react to the parentage reveal and see what they and Jon discuss next. They gave us the mere bones of this scene and left us without the meat. 

The important part of the scene, the emotional underbelly, the opportunity to see these people come together and support and embrace Jon as the Stark they still think he is, is taken away from us. Because that would chip away at the mystery surrounding Jon’s arc this season. 

I’d argue depriving Jon and the Starks of the emotional bond they share is way too steep a price to pay for what is essentially a cheap thirll that becomes cheaper and cheaper by the minute considering they’re delaying whatever reveal they’re planning on making past the point of me giving a shit!

This episode did, however, give me the perfect visual way of describing Jon’s storyline right now. Jon is basically stuck between: 

and 

and he chooses neither. 

He sends Ghost away (without patting him because having KH and the wolf in the same frame would be too costly for the overly expensive GOT) and refuses to ride Rhaegal because ... reasons. 

So instead of seeing him choose between being a direwolf and a dragon, we’re seeing him do nothing, while looking overly enigmatically blank for 5 hours straight. I just .... I’m sooooo tired of this. Can this be over now?

PS: I’d discuss Jaime’s storyline this episode but I don’t want to say: I told you so ... Well ... ok, if you insist:

a little sour milk dribble on Tormund’s beard and a silly giant story isn’t going to make me forget that Jaime has arrived in Winterfell on the coat tails of a 20+ year toxic relationship with a woman who is not only his twin sister but is also currently pregnant with his baby.

Also:

Jaime: She (Cersei) has always been good at using the truth to tell lies. Don’t be too hard on yourself. She’s fooled me more than anybody.

Tyrion: She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway.

Yeah …  Imagine entering a relationship with a guy exiting THAT. Dealing with sour milk beard is mild by comparison.

(source)

Favorite scenes

The “If you love me, you’ll erase yourself” scene: 

There is something so deeply disturbing about this scene that I can’t help but be fascinated by it. The J0nereys relationship has always been toxic and this scene right here encapsulates just why: 

In order to be with D*ny, Jon needs to give up everything that makes him who he is. In season 7, he was forced to bend the knee and suffer the ire of the entire North for it. Now D*ny is asking him not only to give up his claim but also lie about who he is and separate himself from his family in order to make sure that D*ny gets to be queen. 

No one, not one person in this world, no matter how beautiful, rich, good in bed or seemingly in love with you, is worth you giving up who you are and removing yourself from your family (provided said family is not toxic, of course). And anyone that would ask you to do that, should be dumped on their asses pronto.

Jon can’t do that, unfortunately. Because he’s brought D*ny here to fight “his war” and pretended to be in love with her. And also because D*ny simply isn’t rational anymore. So he’s stuck apologizing for people liking him (just think about that!) and having to put up with her saying things like: 

D*ny: It doesn’t matter what you want! You didn’t want to be king in the North! What happens when they demand you press your claim and TAKE WHAT IS MINE? 

Except the crown isn’t D*ny’s. It never was. Logistically speaking, the crown belongs to Cersei right now. Legitimately, the crown is Jon’s. It’s D*ny that is actually taking what is his, not the other way around. Imagine making someone apologize for you doing that to them. That’s all kinds of messed up. 

Speaking of which: 

Jon: You are my queen! I don’t know what else I can say!

D*ny: You can say nothing! To anyone! Ever! Never tell them who you really are. Swear your brother and Samwell Tarly to secrecy and tell no one else!

You know what she sounds like? Like Tangled’s Mother Gothel convincing Rapunzel that she’s better off being her prisoner. 

Yikes! She’s genuinely terrifying!

Also: 

D*ny: Sansa will want to see me gone and you on the Iron Throne. 

Jon: She won’t. 

D*ny: She’s not the girl you grew up with. Not after what she’s seen. Not after what they’ve done to her. 

2 things: 

1. I hope every D*ny stan in the universe either denounces D*ny for victim blaming or closes their mouths about feminism, misogyny and pitting women against women for the rest of time. If you support this woman and consider her a positive role model, you are not allowed to discuss these subjects in public ever again. 

2. Can you really blame Jon for taking D*ny’s side against Sansa in the council meeting? He already knows just what D*ny thinks of Sansa and what she’d like to do to her if she is given the opportunity. Hurting Sansa’s feelings is preferable to her losing her life. 

The “This better not be unrequited love, Ds!” scene: 

This face right here ... this face: 

It’s heartbreaking. And what really angers me about this scene is that it could have been all the more meaningful had the parentage reveal been played in full. Actually seeing Sansa reacting, hearing Jon’s fears or his anguish, would make her fighting for his crown when he refuses to do so even more powerful and romantically charged. 

Still, this scene comes in direct contrast to the Jon/D*ny scene. While D*ny wants to force Jon to live a lie for the rest of his life, to humble himself and make himself small so she can have all the power and the love of the people, Sansa not only shoots down the possibility of her being the only one in charge of the North and holding steadfast to the idea that Jon will stay in Winterfell. She goes as far as tell Tyrion Jon is the rightful heir when she realizes that despite his supposed loyalty to D*ny, Tyrion is actually afraid of her. 

She sees an opening to ensure Jon’s freedom and she takes it without hesitation. 

If, at the end of all of this, Jon ends up going beyond the wall instead of staying with a woman who loves and values him this much, then Westeros truly is a cruel and horrible place and I’ll be sorry I invested so many years of my life to it.

Episode MVPs

Euron “Best General in fucking Westeros” Greyjoy: 

Euron gets to be MVP this episode because in one fell swoop he destroyed D*ny’s fleet and brought down one of her dragons. What can I say ... Competency really turns me on. 

Too bad Cersei doesn’t love him. If these two actually cared about each other, they could be the McBeths of Westeros. Nothing could stand in their way!

Lord “What an Icon!” Varys: 

What can one say about this glorious man? He is MVP for the second time in 4 reviews and somehow I think he’s not done yet. 

Varys and Tyrion got down to some realpolitick this episode. But Varys had some truly outstanding lines, like: 

Varys: How many others know? 

Tyrion: Including us? Eight. 

Varys: Well, then it’s not a secret anymore. It’s information. If a handful of people know now, hundreds will know soon. 

It’s so rare to find a man that understands gossip so well!

Varys: I’ve served tyrants all my life. They all talk about destiny. 

As a person born under a communist regime, I concur, Varys. 

And my personal favorite:  

Varys: You know where my loyalty stands. You know I will never betray the realm. 

Tyrion: What is the realm? A vast continent, home to millions of people, most of whom don’t care who sits on the Iron Throne. 

Varys: Millions of people, many of whom will die if the wrong person sits on that throne. We don’t know their names but they’re just as real as you and I. They deserve to live. They deserve food for their children. I will act in their interests, no matter the personal cost. 

If this show doesn’t end with a 7 foot, cockless statue of Varys presiding over the whole of Westeros as the ICON that he is, what was even the point?!?!?

[minijenn]

In honor of it being Sora’s birthday, I figured I might as well repost my favorite portion of Chapter 22 of Keys to the Kingdom since I wrote it roughly a year ago and it is, fittingly enough, focused on our dear boy’s in-fic birthday as well (and its also one of my favorite bits of Keys in general its very emotionally raw and it hits me in the honey nut feelios every time I reread it. Sooooo enjoy!

***

A few days after the first night they’d spent together, Kairi happens to remember a certain special occasion coming up very soon. And as soon as she does, she immediately begins planning, spreading the word to everyone but Sora as she devises a scheme meant solely for him. It comes just in time too as he’d recently regained the ability to sit up on his own again, his upper body now mostly mobile even if his legs still surge with pain any time he so much as tries to walk. Still, it’s enough to satisfy Kairi that her plan will work as she puts it into motion as soon as she wakes up on the intended morning, knowing that this is something neither of them will want to miss.

“Hey, good morning,” she greets brightly almost as soon as she opens her eyes, only to find that he’s already wide awake beside her. Ever since he’d asked to have his bed moved closer to the window, it’s become something of a pastime for him to casually watch the hustle and bustle of the busy streets of Radiant Garden down below, a pastime that she often joins him on in the early hours of the morning they spend together.

“Morning,” he says, turning to her with a smile.

“I have a surprise for you,” she grins as she sits up.

“A surprise? What is it?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I just told you what it was,” she chuckles while getting up out of bed.

“Aw, c’mon, Kairi…” he groans in faux exasperation. “Can’t I at least have a hint?”

“Just be patient!” she scolds, smirking. “I have to go get something for it first. Be right back.” So Kairi hurries off, leaving Sora in complete suspense for whatever she intends on giving him or showing him. She returns about an hour later, fully dressed and ready for the day as she rolls in perhaps the last thing he’d been expecting.

“It’s… a wheelchair…” he frowns, somewhat disappointed by the chair itself as well as what it implies. Namely, the idea that he’s still far more invalid than he wants to be.

“Hey, it wasn’t easy getting this wheelchair, you know,” Kairi protests, hands on her hips. “I’ve been pestering Cid to trade in some old computer parts for it for days . Besides, this isn’t the surprise. It’s just what’s going to get you to the surprise.”

“Wait…” Sora’s formerly dubious tone shifts to anticipation at this. “You mean…?”

“Yep,” Kairi nods as she summons her Keyblade. She points its tip toward the far side of the room as light surrounds it, and from her focus she forms a bright portal to some unknown location. “We’re finally getting you out of this room.”

Sora breaks into a huge smile at this, unable to hide how elated he is by the mere thought of getting out and seeing something other than the same four walls he’s gotten far too used to by now. Yet even so, he does have at least one reservation about the plan. “Uh… can I ask where we’re going?”

“No,” Kairi answers simply as she pushes the wheelchair closer to the bed. “You’ll see when we get there. Now come on; as excited as I am about this whole thing, I bet there’s no one more eager to see you get up and out then, well… you.”

“You can say that again,” Sora readily agrees, doing what little he can to get ready for the trip. It takes some doing between both him and Kairi, and though some significant pain does come along with the transition, he eventually manages to slip out of bed and into the chair. And as soon as she’s sure he’s properly seated and comfortable, Kairi wastes no time in wheeling him into the portal she made, hoping that her surprise, for as simple as it is, will satisfy him all the same.

When the light from the portal clears, the pair arrives in a picturesque place, to say the least; a deep, dense forest of lush, towering trees, drenched in the fresh, bright colors of a springtime morning. Between the gentle breeze swaying the leaves, birds chirp their cheery melodies from unknown perches, creating an air of captivating peace and promise that Sora can’t help but appreciate as he takes in a deep breath of the warm, crisp, clean air. “Whoa... “ he says, absolutely fascinated as he looks around. “Where are we?”

“We’re in a special world Merlin made just for me and Axel to train in,” Kairi explains, smiling as she pushes his chair down a makeshift path through the woods. “But since we haven’t really been training since he’s been gone, so I thought it might as well be put to use somehow. I also thought that some fresh air might be just what you needed.”

“You thought right,” Sora sighs contentedly as he hangs his arms behind his head. “This place is amazing.”

“It gets better,” Kairi stops short just shy of arriving at the edge of the forest. “But… you have to close your eyes for this next part.” Sora raises a curious eyebrow at this, but he ultimately complies when she insists. She says nothing as she wheels him forward a bit more, eventually bringing his chair to a stop in the right spot before scrambling to get the finishing touches ready.

“Will I get to open my eyes sometime today?” Sora asks teasingly, though he still keeps them closed as she had advised.

“Well, if you’re gonna be that impatient, you can open them… now,” Kairi says, watching his reaction with growing excitement as he gets his first glimpse of the stunning view before them.

Indeed, it astonishes him more than even the forest itself had; a vast, wide valley stretches out far before them, just as rich and radiant as the rest of the woods. And yet, what catches his attention almost as much as the view itself is what Kairi has set up beside him. “What’s all this?” he asks with a curious smile as he looks over the picnic lunch she’s prepared. It isn’t anything extravagant, just a few sandwiches and snacks, all of which she’s plated quite nicely. But what’s most interesting about the entire set up is a single elegantly-decorated cupcake topped with a brightly burning candle at the center of it all.

“Surprise!” Kairi cheers, holding the cupcake up to him. For his part, however, Sora simply looks between it and her, absolutely bemused until he shakes his head in confusion.

“Ok, I give up,” he says with a puzzled grin. “I have no idea what any of this is for.”

“...Sora... “ Kairi’s smile swiftly disappears at this. “Do you… not know what today is?”

“Um… I could be wrong, but… I’m pretty sure it’s a Thursday?”

“Well, yeah. But this Thursday also happens to be your birthday.”

Sora starts at this, somehow even more bewildered by this news as he shakes his head slowly. “N-no, it's… it can’t be, it’s not even…” he stops short, his eyes widening as the realization finally strikes him. “Oh my gosh, it is my birthday….”

“Honestly, Sora, how did you manage to forget your own birthday?” Kairi can’t help but chuckle at just how dumbfounded he is. “Especially since you never have any problems remembering mine or Riku’s.”

“Hey, can you really blame me?” Sora protests defensively. “After all, I don’t really remember celebrating my last birthday either…”

Kairi’s otherwise playful expression turns solemn at this as she realizes exactly why he lacks that memory, if what Riku had told her is anything to go off of. “W-well, do you at least know how old you’re turning today?”

“Of course I do,” he scoffs, though his confidence quickly drops off. “I’m… uh… mm…”

“16?”

“Yeah, that’s right, 16,” he nods before being caught off guard once again. “Wait, really ?!”

Kairi lets out an exasperated sigh, placing the cupcake in his lap before taking a seat on a tree stump across from him. “You’re absolutely hopeless,” she smirks, though her tone soon turns wistful as she looks out at the expansive view before them. “You know, if we were back home, then I’m sure everyone would be throwing you a huge party right now. Especially since 16 is such an important milestone.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Sora crosses his arms, though he still smiles all the while. “My mom always used to tell me that when I turned 16, I’d become a ‘man’, whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

“It means you’re all grown up, silly,” Kairi laughs, amused. “And that’s a pretty special occasion. Which is why I wish I could have done more to help make it even more special for you, but… I hope this is at least close to good enough.”

“Are you kidding? This is great!” Sora readily assures her. His bright smile quickly fades however as he looks back down to the treat she’d given him. “Honestly, you might have even done too much. I mean, it’s not like it’s anything actually worth celebrating…”

“...What do you mean?”

He hesitates for a moment, but in the end he simply shakes his head and glances away instead. “I-it… it’s nothing…”

“It’s not nothing to me,” she leans forward, catching his gaze once more. “Sora, if something’s bothering you, then I want to hear about it. I told you before: I’ll do whatever I can to help you. But I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

He pauses, clearly anxious about divulging something so personal, but ultimately he folds, knowing that if there’s anyone he can trust with what he’s about to say, then it’s her. “I… I don’t think I deserve this…” he begins carefully, yet honestly. “ Any of this. Everyone’s been so great about helping me ever since all this started, but I don’t get why . It’s like… you all just dropped everything just for me, even though you could be doing so many other important things! Heck, you and Axel even stopped your Keyblade training because of me.”

“Of course we did,” Kairi says earnestly. “Because we care about you, Sora. We all do. If any one of us were in your place, wouldn’t you do the same for us?”

“Of course I would!” Sora exclaims without a moment’s hesitation.

“And that’s why we’re doing all this for you,” she offers him a bittersweet smile. “Sora, you do so much for other people. You care so much about nearly everyone you meet. So… maybe it’s time for you to start caring a little more about yourself too…”

“W-well, maybe that would be easier for me to do if I stopped making so many mistakes all the time!” he snaps, largely without thinking.

“Mistakes?” she places a hand against the side of his chair as she looks at him, concerned. “L-like what?”

“Well, like falling for a dumb trap and failing my Mark of Mastery exam for starters,” he says, going down the lengthy list he’s been keeping mental tabs on for quite some time now. “Then I just lost one of the thirteen Keys to Kingdom Hearts of all things, to a member of the Organization that wants to take it over and destroy everything ! Then I agreed to let myself be captured and chained up and poisoned and the entire time the Organization could just be out there getting even more of those Keys and I can’t even do anything to stop them! And that’s all on top of losing my strength not just once but twice in a row, only now it’s even worse because not only can I not even fight, I can’t even walk ! A-and…” A small, harsh sob escapes him, the weight of his multiple mistakes weighing heavy on his heart, especially the worst of those mistakes, one that he can’t even bear to voice aloud. “And I just keep on making all these stupid mistakes over and over again when everyone’s counting on me! I-I feel like I’m failing everyone who needs me… A-and that’s exactly why I don’t deserve this... “

Tears brim in his eyes as he shakily holds the cupcake out to her, silently begging her to take it away from him. And not just that, but the kindness and compassion that she and all the others have shown him right along with it, all in the belief that he’s done nothing to earn it. That he should be cast out and hated instead of being cared for and comforted. And at that moment, Kairi has never wanted to prove him wrong more than she does now.

“No…” she gently pushes the cupcake back to him. “It’s exactly why you do deserve it … ” He stills, looking to her in genuine disbelief even as she continues. “Sora… I wish you would see yourself the way everyone else does… Because if you did, then you wouldn’t see any of those mistakes. You’d see all of the good you’ve done, all of the worlds you’ve saved, and all of the people you’ve helped. And I should know; after all… I am one of those people…”

“B-but I put you in so much danger!” Sora protests tightly. “All of you! You should have never gone to rescue me! You should have just-”

“Should have what ? Left you there with Maleficent?” Kairi asks, tensing up at the very thought. “I don’t think so. I can’t speak for the others, Sora, but for me? Finding out that you’d been captured, that you were being tortured … It was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to go through.”

“A-and you shouldn’t have had to go through that!” Sora counters, still immensely distraught. “You shouldn’t have to worry about me because I should be stronger than this! I need to be stronger than this, b-because if I’m not then… what good am I to anyone…?”

His last statement is so quiet she barely hears it, but it still nearly breaks her heart all the same. Because it’s at that moment that she finally realizes exactly what his problem is: he has so much love in his heart to give to others, he always has. But he never bothers to spare any of that love for himself. Which was why, in place of what his own heart can’t give him, she decides to give him some of hers instead.

“You’re enough…” she whispers to him, kneeling down in front of his chair and taking his hands in her own. “You’ve always been enough…” She can feel the warmth of tears starting to build up in her own eyes now but still she doesn’t stop; she can’t stop. Because he needs this, more than he really knows. “C-can I tell you something? W-when I first started my training, I felt like it was...  a lot to take in. Everyone expected so much out of me when I-I’d barely even used my Keyblade before. It’s been getting easier but, still, there’s sometimes where I worry… What if I’m good enough? I mean, stacked up against you and Riku and even Axel, I… I can’t help but feel like I’m the weakest link of the bunch, you know?”

“K-Kairi, what are you talking about?” Sora asks, immediately placing all of his worries with her and essentially forgetting about himself in the process. “You’re not a weak link at all! Once your training’s done, I know you’ll do great!”

“See?” she can’t help but smile softly as she squeezes his hands a bit. “There you go again. You always know how to help everyone else feel better, but… all this time, you’ve just been… miserable on the inside, haven’t you?” He says nothing, instead looking away from her morosely as she goes on. “But now I think I finally understand why. I thought I was under a lot of pressure, but you, Sora? You literally have the weight of hundreds of worlds resting on your shoulders! And it’s not fair that you have to carry that weight all on your own. Especially since… you don’t have to…”

“Yes, I do…” he sighs, closing his eyes solemnly. “Because if I don’t, then who will?”

“ I will,” she answers immediately. “Riku will. Donald and Goofy will. Leon, Aerith, Yuffie, and Cid will. Axel will, the king will, Master Merlin and Master Yen Sid will. So many people will and can help you, Sora. We all want to help you carry that weight. All you need to do is ask.”

He takes in a deep, unsteady breath at this as he stares past her toward the rich blue sky above. “I-I… I’m not good at asking…”

“I know. That’s why I’ve already made up my mind that I’m going to help you anyway, even if you don’t ask. And you know...” She smiles, slipping her hands out of his as she places the cupcake back into them. “Even if you are technically a ‘man’ now, I still don’t see any reason for you to waste a perfectly good birthday cake, now do you?”

A small, yet genuine laugh escapes him at this as he accepts the fork she offered him. And with it, the help that she’s so ready to freely give him in both this moment and beyond it. “I can’t say that I do,” he says just as he blows the cupcake’s nearly burnt-down candle out.

“Did you wish for anything?” she asks him curiously.

“Yeah…” he says happily, his gaze resting solely on her as he wipes the last of his tears away. “It already came true.”

***

The sun is just starting to set over the forest by the time they leave it. As the day slowly, peacefully passes by, the rest of their conversation flows much more lighthearted than how it had started out (though the cupcake they end up splitting does raise their spirits quite a bit). And yet, they’re soon met with an even more festive mood when they return to Merlin’s house, only to arrive to find everyone eagerly waiting for them with a surprise of their own in mind.

“Happy birthday, Sora!” everyone exclaims in bright unison the moment they spot the pair emerging from the portal Kairi had made.

For his part, Sora is even more caught off guard by this surprise than he had been with Kairi’s, especially when he notices the extent of it. They’ve decorated the entire house with countless colorful streamers and balloons, and have even gone as far as to collaborate on a sizable cake, one that is, sure enough, topped with 16 candles exactly. “Whoa! You guys did all this for me?” he asks, genuinely touched by their impressive efforts. “How’d you even know it was my birthday in the first place?”

“Kairi told us,” Aerith informs with a warm smile.

“Oh, really…?” Sora glances back at her with a knowing smirk.

“W-well, someone had to,” Kairi huffs, pushing his chair forward a bit. “It’s not like you would have seeing as how you didn’t even remember what today was to begin with.”

“You forgot your birthday, Sora?” Goofy asks with a small chuckle.

“Why isn’t that not surprising?” Donald adds, crossing his arms.

“H-hey! I didn’t forget it!” Sora counters, flustered. “I just-”

“Like I said, you just didn’t remember it,” Kairi cuts in with a wry smile. “Which is exactly the same thing as forgetting it, but don’t worry. None of us will fault you for it.”

“Yeah, especially not when cake’s on the line!” Yuffie quips with a spirited wink.

“Yeah, cake you didn’t even help the rest of us make,” Axel points out, raising a critical eyebrow at her.

“Aw, cut me some slack; cooking is not my strong suit.”

“ Clearly .”

“Would you two cut that out?” Cid scowls, annoyed as he comes to stand between them. “I’m sure the last thing the poor kid wants to hear on his special day is you two runnin’ your traps at each other!”

“I know I don’t,” Leon agrees dryly.

This elicits a small chuckle out of Aerith, one that both Sora and Kairi quickly join in on until soon enough, the entire room erupts into bright, genuine laughter. Once that laughter dies down, the party fully kicks off. While it isn’t a particularly large get-together, it’s certainly an enjoyable one, filled with talking, laughter, and of course, cake. They keep it going late on into the night, until all of them are tired yet content with the time they’ve spent together as they all fondly part ways to head to bed. As she usually does, Kairi stays with Sora, though as she climbs into bed alongside him, she can’t help but notice the almost glowing smile he falls asleep with. It doesn’t take much thought to figure out where that smile is coming from either. After all, he’d told her as much earlier that very evening and when he did, she could tell just how much he had really been needing something like this to begin with.

Because for the first time in a very long time, he’d been given a chance to feel less like the savior of the worlds he’s expected to be, and more like the normal, now-16 year old he really is. And for the first time in a long time, he’d been given a chance to let the weight of the worlds he’s forced himself to carry just wait, if only for a little while.