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jvlicns · 4 years

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julian amante , twenty - three , cis male , THE TOWER .

amusing , candid , resourceful , petty , cataclysmic , arrogant.

first of all HELLO !! im z. 25 / she+her / pst. im thrilled to be here and honestly a little shocked ?? my app was a rushed MESS but im so happy the admins understood my nonsense !!

this is going to be a lil long so pls bear w me. im going to break it down into sections and eventually make an entire bio , but this will do in the mean time !

connections are here , & my discord is zvvf#1885 !

* tw for mention of drugs & alcohol

. . .

TAROT ━

the tower represents chaos , destruction , & upheaval. this change is usually sudden & unexpected -- & not always good. the tower itself is a symbol of ambition , but in this card we see it built on faulty premises & false beliefs , all of which are no longer useful.

the ruin of the tower is inevitable -- necessary for growth & groundbreaking renewal. it’s time to break out of the old ways.

AESTHETICS ━

cracked asphalt , bloody knuckles , tangerine sunsets. the smell of freshly cut grass . still , slow mornings. a neat row of fire ants , climbing up your bedroom wall. broken stained glass , an overgrown field. tears of laughter , the only you’ll ever shed.

money in a yellow envelope , guilt in your eyes , pressed flowers , a string quartet , corruption , loss of morals , student debt , a yellow light , darkness , hellfire.

THOUGHTS ━

" you’ve got your orders & that’s enough. you don’t know who’s telling you to throw your classmates off the scent , but you’re getting paid to do it. maybe your moral compass would stop you if you didn’t struggle so much in the financial department , but hey. you’re doing what you have to do to survive. if only you didn’t have to go against your better judgment for it. "

GENERAL ━

assigned to REYNOLDS house

fourth year -- senior .

currently working at the corner store as a cashier .

scholarship student -- 2.3 average gpa .

athlete , st. cade’s lacrosse team .

BACKGROUND ━

grew up in a small town in arizona , in one of those unfinished suburbs that ran out of funding halfway through a government project to “ upgrade ” that was met with widespread disapproval. it’s all empty pools & dirt lawns , a patchwork neighborhood of old houses mixed in with the new.

former golden boy who peaked in high school : star athlete , prom king , voted best smile. eternally toeing the line between CHAMPION & DIRTBAG.

well - liked , but known for being something of a hell - raiser. out every night , hungover every morning. it was less obvious back then -- he could easily brush it off as simple youthful rebellion , rather than a real personality defect.

his first taste of alcohol was in seventh grade. a summer night , with the sun retiring for the day but leaving her kiss on the still - warm pavement. his world -- previously filled with sunday school , tense family dinners , & 24 hour marathons of professional passive aggression , was forever changed. finally , the boredom slipped away. & not just that ! this was actually FUN.

but for someone with zero impulse control . . . a door opened , & he never managed to close it.

from a young age , his parents were always involved in the church. they attended every sunday , no excuses.

this lapsed as the years passed & the amante family found it more & more unpleasant to be in the same room together , but his parent’s beliefs never wavered. religion was used as a weapon in their home -- to shame & guilt. they claimed love , preached tolerance. what they practiced , however , was the opposite. as he grew older , julian managed to weasel his way out of most of their theological outings. he gained some freedom , in addition to the ire of his family. their disappointment in him grew from a tiny acorn to a mighty oak.

his parents had their own issues , long before julian came along. a marriage between two irreconcilable people. the love they should have shared mutated into something twisted , something that they could give only to their son. it was enough for them to feed him , clothe him , & put a roof over his head. anything else was simply asking too much.

despite coming from a low - income family , things have never been particularly DIFFICULT for him. sure , they struggled. he’s lost count of the times the power got shut off , or the water. but julian was the type of kid who could charm teachers into bumping his grade up to a 71% , despite the dozens of half - finished assignments & failed tests. he didn’t really have to try -- they just wanted to help him. ( pity , perhaps ? he turns a blind eye )

he coasted through school. one of those natural athletes that coaches & admin treat like celebrities , focusing all their attention on a teenager they have high hopes for. higher hopes than he had for himself , in fact.

julian never had dreams , not a plan for his future. all that stubborn arrogance fooled them : he’s spent the better part of the past seven years stalling. cutting corners & taking shortcuts , desperately avoiding reality.

he never expected to even leave his hometown , let along attend a prestigious college on a full ride lacrosse scholarship. somehow , he played enough games & passed enough classes to qualify for an opportunity that would pluck him from his sad , tragic storyline & deposit him on a shiny path to success. a fresh start.

he didn’t want to go. fought endlessly about it with his parents , his friends , himself. his place wasn’t at some hoity - toity school , surrounded by do - gooders & the conscientious. julian may have a knack for delusion , for spinning a story that suits him in whatever moment is passing. but he’s smart enough knows what his future holds : drinking himself to an early death in the very house he was born in. you can’t fight fate -- but you can surely postpone it.

in the end , it’s the boredom that convinces him. he’s said & done just about everything he can here , exhausted all the options he cares to consider. made plenty of enemies , as well as friends. built & burnt bridges.

the expectation of his teachers , his parents , were choking him. it’s foolish to think that this might be the way out – he’ll never change. but why not have some fun , while he’s still here ?

st.cade’s was a treasure trove for julian , filled with endless opportunities to amuse himself. despite his placement in reynold’s house & the mandatory church shit ( a part of his scholarship’s stipulations ) , it hasn’t been bad. another social scene for him to invade , conquests to be had , fights to provoke. the first few years were amazing : an intoxicated blur of his own little slice of this world.

he lives in the moment , greedily gathering every experience he can. nodding off in class , smoking behind the greenhouse , collecting all the free alcohol he manages to sniff out.

he’s learned this : a loud laugh & bravado can get you far. but now , his actions have finally caught up with him. the school is threatening to terminate his scholarship , to pack up his bags & send him on the first train home. & while he has no idea what to do , he knows he can’t go back. god , no.

even without what’s keeping him – the enticing mystery of helena’s disappearance , his friends , his freedom. he just can’t stand to go in reverse ; it would mean facing the consequences of every mistake he’s ever made ( & there are quite a few ! )

he’s a shark – he has to keep moving.

that first letter came soon after the school - wide assembly. small , neat type. direct. there was no mincing words , the sender made it perfectly clear : this is his only option. if he wants to maintain this lifestyle , this is the way. so he burns the letters , following their instructions. almost relieved to be given direction. it’s a respite in the current disarray – something he used to enjoy , but now just feels exhausting. he’s the band , humming away as the titanic sinks. not my business , he thinks. but he’ll drown all the same.

PERSONALITY ━

he’s an asshole but a F U N asshole -- that makes it palatable , right ??

not a dumbass , but the lack of impulse control + arrogance could have fooled me ! his intelligence is only hinted at , invisible unless you’re looking : reciting keats from memory , listing off all 79 of jupiter’s moons. remnants of past & fleeting obsessions.

has to actively undermine his own common sense -- for the laughs , of course !

selfish ; his needs & wants come before anyone else’s. a childish habit , yes , but one he’s been unable to break. ( not that he’s tried )

vacillates between aloof & dramatic. you can count on him to stir some shit up -- he adores chaos & just can’t keep his mouth shut. petty , to a fault.

he’s hot - shit & he knows it ; well aware of his pretty face & statuesque build. julian’s never been afraid of using it to his advantage , or even just reminding anyone around him of just how cute he is. ( listen up 5′s , a 10 is speaking ! )

has a strong aversion to authority. “ don’t tell me what to do ! ” . . . * quietly takes your advice when you’re not looking * . . .

the good parts of him are buried deep. his loyalty , his gentleness. a warm heart that can easily empathize , but chooses not to. julians pursuit of superficial gratification blinds him , warping his reflection like a funhouse mirror.

aggressive & unrelenting. this could be channeled into something of a work ethic , if he cared enough. instead , he uses it to get what he wants. whatever that might be.

curious as a cat with nine lives , he won’t hesitate to ask the question everyone’s thinking. that bluntness is almost appealing , as long as it’s not directed at you. this makes him somewhat of a good listener , even if he’s only paying attention to satisfy his own nosiness.

he’ll literally fight for the ones he loves. there aren’t many of them , but the sentiment stands. years of sports have taught him the value of teamwork , & he has yet to shake it. once you endear yourself to him , there’s no going back.

despite everything , julian manages to be a charismatic little firebrand. he’ll guarantee a good time , he just won’t help clean up the mess.

FUN FACTS ━

can fit his entire fist in his mouth

has The Loudest Sneeze Of All Time

once bit into an apple n saw a WORM inside so now he hates apples w a passion

right handed , but taught himself to be ambidextrous during the summer between fifth & sixth grade

promptly forgot he was ambidextrous & never uses his left hand

has surprisingly neat handwriting

can fall asleep ANYWHERE

likes country music ( will never admit it , tho )

his mother used to read him poetry , so he’s lowkey Very Into It

can’t carry a tune for shit , & his impressions are a w f u l. his british accent is just a cheap dick van dyke imitation , & his australian accent is what the british one SHOULD be

#atonedintro #i refuse to look at this anymore so im gna go play ac for 6 hourS

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terrusw-blog · 4 years

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lightningwear-blog · 4 years

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petrovahpierce · 5 years

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thegloober · 6 years

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What’s Wrong With Youth Sports Today?

Coaches brawling on the 50-yard line. Parents fighting in the stands. Young athletes pushed to the point of burnout, or worse, injury before they’re even in high school. To say that youth sports have changed over the last few decades is an understatement. What started as a way for kids to have fun has been co-opted into a $15 billion a year industry in which parents are obsessed with college scholarships, elite-level clubs turn big profits, and a win-at-all-cost mentality threatens to undercut many of the positive lessons sports are designed to teach kids.

Skye Arthur-Banning is an associate professor in the Parks, Recreation, and Tourism Management Department at Clemson University, an expert in community recreation and sportsmanship, and the editor of a new book entitled Youth Sports in America: The Most Important Issues in Youth Sports Today. A collaboration of top experts in the field of sports, medicine, and psychology, the book tackles the hot-button issues challenging youth sports today ⏤ from skyrocketing costs and declining participation to out-of-control parents and the concussion epidemic ⏤ and is meant as a helpful tool for parents, coaches, and sports administrators alike.

Fatherly recently caught up with Skye Arthur-Banning to discuss many of those topics from the book and more, including the corrupting nature of college scholarships, the unnerving idea of 6-year-olds seeing sports’ psychologists, and how we can all be better sports parents on and off the field.

Can you give us an overview of the book and how it can be helpful to parents? It’s a reference book more than anything. We wanted to identify the most important issues that parents, coaches, administrators, people involved in youth sports should be thinking about ⏤ from specialization and burnout to parenting pressure and pay-to-play ⏤ and present them from a neutral perspective, without taking one side or another. It’s educational and hopefully will help parents understand the importance of their roles in youth sports. But also, if they just have questions about concussions or bullying or coping with failure, it’s designed with short, quick chapters of information followed by a list of readings and suggested websites if parents are interested in learning more.

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You write that youth sports have moved from simple backyard fun to a multi-billion industry. How did this happen? It started with the playground movement during the Industrial Revolution, but a number of elements have really contributed to its rise. One is, obviously, the ESPNs and the 24-hour sports cycle. But we also don’t realize just how much the scholarship chase drives youth sport in America, whereas it doesn’t in other countries. The idea of getting a college scholarship pushes not only sports participation but also what parents think that they’re driving their kids to, even though the percentages are so heavily weighted against you.

That’s a good point, every parent these days seems convinced that their kid is going to college on a sports scholarship. I like to tell parents that if you’re looking for your child to get a college scholarship, 90-percent of those are academic scholarships. Only 10 to 15 percent of those are athletic. Put your kid in recreational sports and then pay for a tutor, because that’s how they’re going to get a scholarship. And even when an athletic scholarship may be attainable, most of them are only partial scholarships, they’re not even full scholarships. Only 1-2 percent of high school athletes nationwide get college scholarships.

Competitiveness, specialization, burnout… what’s the biggest issue plaguing youth sports today? The win-at-all-cost mentality is probably the biggest problem. Many of the decisions that parents, coaches, and athletes make are driven by that idea rather than by the idea of sport as a tool for youth development ⏤ just like art or drama or learning math. It is a tool for youth development and we forget that.

At the same time, to assume that sport alone is the tool that builds character, creates leadership, teaches lessons ⏤ the ball doesn’t teach a lesson. It’s the positive influences within the sport ⏤ the coaches, parents, administrators, the rules, the referees ⏤ those are the elements that teach the positive lessons within sports. To me, that’s the element that often gets lost at the expense of “we need to win so are we willing to bend the rules a little bit? Are we willing to look the other way?”

Has it gotten to the point where youth sports are actually doing our kids more harm than good? I attended a sports psychology conference a couple of years ago and they were discussing extending sports psychology services to 6-year-olds. And as the non-sports psychologist in the group, I asked, “Does anyone not see a problem with 5-to-6-year olds needing a sports psychologist?” Why are children that age really requiring to be counseled through what should be an enjoyable play environment? And while it’s nice to see some of the sports at the youth level trying to encourage more play-like activity and less stress, we’re still seeing kids classified as elite at 5- or 6-year-old. What physical changes are happening to these 5-year- old bodies when they have to perform on a daily basis?

A lot of top athletes would tell you they played multiple sports for a long time before they decided to specialize. That’s one of the challenges we face, we think our kid needs to be playing hockey from the time they are six all the way through — and they can’t play basketball, or lacrosse or something else to not only broaden their social horizon but to give their body and muscles a break and use other muscles.

What about cost, a lot of families are being priced out of their kids playing organized sports. What’s fueling this rise and do you see the trend reversing? Unfortunately, the sports that were traditionally very inexpensive, the soccers of the world, now require, at least at the elite level, thousands of dollars or a scholarship from a club program to play. To get identified as a top player, you have to spend a whole lot of money. And what we’re finding is that a large percentage of the money goes to the coaches and administrators in the elite level clubs ⏤ in some cases, club administrators are making six figures. Traveling club teams are a revenue-generating, high-dollar business. And that complicates how you reverse that trend because I don’t know if coaches are willing to take a 50-percent pay cut just to make their services more affordable

Although I think people forget that a lot of programs still have recreational components, and those are opportunities to participate. Elite sport is becoming very expensive, yes, but sport in and of itself can still be very affordable ⏤ you have to be willing for your child to play in county recreational league and enjoy it for the sake enjoyment and fitness and socialization, rather than the elite-level traveling competition. Another part of the problem, though, is that many recreational youth sports leagues won’t even offer a particular program during a high-school season. So if it’s the high school volleyball season, they won’t offer a competing 16-and 17-year old girls volleyball program. My rationale is not all the girls are playing high school and you’re actually preventing those who don’t make the team or who aren’t at that level from participating.

You also mention the price paid by other siblings, right? Yes, the other piece is that there are very few opportunities for multiple high-level athletes in a family because if one family is traveling to a soccer or a lacrosse tournament every weekend, it means the rest of the kids are just being drug along and not able to engage in their own recreational leisure opportunities. In some respects, families do a good job, because they realize this is a good opportunity to go out and travel together. But the other children, if you will, their interests may not be being met because they’re making sacrifices for the betterment of the one child who has been very successful at a sport.

And speaking of kids not playing, the numbers would indicate a declining participation in organized youth sports. True? And if so, do you see a way we can reverse it? I remember chatting with several outdoor recreation professionals and they love hearing that phrase that youth sports participation is on the decline because they want to capture a lot of those kids who are leaving organized sports. They want to grab those kids who are so disenfranchised with a team sport and a coach yelling and they want those kids to go rock climbing or canoeing. There has been really strong growth in adventure sports, the Crossfit, the rock climbing, that kind of stuff. It has a different appeal to the disenfranchised sports participant.

I think to say youth sports participation is declining is a little bit misleading. Kids are still participating in physical activity for the most part, although it may be reduced physical activity because of games and sitting inside watching TV, but because of the shift to adventure sports and the specialization expectation, you can’t strictly look at the numbers. You can’t say because we have fewer volleyball players this year that youth sport is declining when those volleyball players may have just shifted to softball to specialize.

Every week it seems a video of parents or coaches fighting at a kids sporting event goes viral. Why is this happening more frequently ⏤ is it because of social media or is there something different about modern sports parents? Yes and yes. There are obviously more opportunities to capture and post those things now thanks to social media. But without getting too political, the elements of civility within our country are deteriorating, and that shows up in sports more as a natural crossover to societal woes. I referee NCAA and youth soccer and have parents all the time, when I address them for their behavior, tell me well that their kids’ games are where they come to get their frustration out. And they say it with a straight face. Because they paid their tax dollars or league dues, they believe they have every right to yell and scream and ‘support’ their team, even though it’s negative. Again, we’ve lost sight of the fact that we’re trying to teach positive lessons to our kids. When we literally have to stop the game so that kids can watch the moms wailing on each other, what’s positive in that?

Well, that brings up an interesting new phenomenon, these websites that shame bad parent behavior at youth sporting events. What are your thoughts and are there other ways to curb out-of-control parents? I have been to a number of state cups where they’ve started to record parents in the stands. And, oddly enough, the parents get upset about being recorded. But really, if you’re embarrassed by your actions, rather than worry about being recorded, maybe you need to consider changing your behavior.

Here in South Carolina, we recently went through ‘Silent September,’ which is similar to Silent Saturdays in a lot of other communities, where you simply can’t cheer during the game. And I’ve never been a proponent of silent anything because it encourages folks to do something nice for the day but not actually change their behavior. According to my research, 85 percent of comments and behavior at youth sporting events is positive. So instead of just dealing with the 15 percent that’s negative, we’re going to stop the whole 100 percent. And you can really see the children’s reactions when they’ve just scored a basket in basketball and are waiting for the cheers, but the cheer isn’t there. We’re actually eliminating the positive elements of the environment, the reward, and feedback that the kids want to hear, simply because the administrators don’t want to deal with the small percentage of parents who are not behaving.

Other than avoiding fights, how can we be better sports parents? The easy answer is to really sit down with your child and ask them why they want to be involved in a sport. I don’t think a lot of parents have that conversation on a regular basis. Why are they involved in sports, and what do they enjoy about it? And then as a parent, trying to be an advocate for those pieces of the child’s experience ⏤ rather than for the glory of what may come in the future. I certainly understand that we can’t expect a 7-year-old to make those decisions, but parents still need to support them and understand that sport is a tool for youth development. Sport is not a tool for scholarships or status.

We can truly develop positive healthy young people through the lessons of sports, but those lessons need to be guided lessons ⏤ and a lot of that guidance comes from the parents and those conversations you have with your kids on the drive home after a game. I’ve never been a proponent of every kid gets a medal because there’s value in losing. But the only value that comes from losing is if, as a parent, you have those conversations with your child.

This interview has been edited for brevity and clarity.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/whats-wrong-with-youth-sports-today/

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hellofastestnewsfan · 6 years

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In the late 1970s, when he was 10, Rob Nissen played for the only soccer team available to kids in his middle-class, New Jersey town. “It cost $20 to join, and you got a T-shirt and you played,” said Nissen, who today is a book publicist, still in New Jersey. On Saturdays, he would put on his white canvas Keds and head over to the one park in town that was big enough to accommodate an actual game. No girls’ teams waited on the sidelines—only boys played soccer. Soccer has come a long way in America. Today, millions of American boys and girls play it. It’s a shift that has delighted many: the sport’s fanatics, parents who don’t want their children getting tackled on football fields, and the kids themselves, who often develop a lifelong passion for the sport.

But American youth soccer—and, in particular, the kind played outside of school, on competitive private “club” teams at the highest level—has also come under criticism. The problem, of course, is not with the sport itself, but with the highly demanding nature of the top tier of play. (In the U.S., other sports, such as lacrosse, volleyball, and basketball, have club systems that can be just as demanding as soccer’s, though soccer’s is the most widespread.)

For one, the risk of injury is high, due in part to many kids’ decision to focus intensely on one particular sport. In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics warned that “the increased emphasis on sports specialization has led to an increase in overuse injuries, overtraining, and burnout.” An analysis in the medical journal Pediatrics of soccer-related emergency-room visits among children aged 7 to 17 reveals a dramatic uptick in injuries: Researchers found that the annual rate of injuries for every 10,000 soccer players rose by 111.4 percent between 1990 and 2014; the annual rate of concussions and other “closed head injuries”—when the head is hit, but the skull isn’t penetrated—over the same period went up by 1,595.6 percent. Girls are injured more than boys. Knee injuries, including ACL tears, are nearly four times more likely to bedevil female soccer players than male. (The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons reported that female soccer players have a higher rate of concussion than football players.)

“Almost all researchers in the field agree that later specialization”—ideally, after the early growth spurt associated with puberty—“is the healthier route (from the perspective of the child’s overall well-being),” Richard Bailey, a senior researcher at the International Council of Sport Science and Physical Education, wrote me in an email. “And that is why they predominantly recommend … [the] sampling of multiple sports, the development of a broad base of movement skills, and delayed specialization as the preferable approach.”

U.S. Soccer, the sport’s national governing body, has a different perspective. The organization’s chief medical officer, George Chiampas, told me that findings from an upcoming study that he co-authored, which compared injury rates among boys on teams in its Development Academy, a program set up by U.S. Soccer to cultivate top players, found no difference between those who just played soccer and those who played additional sports. Is it ever too early to specialize? “It depends on the environment,” he said.

Unlike U.S. Lacrosse, which has come out in favor of multi-sport play, U.S. Soccer has taken no definitive position on specialization. “We’re still analyzing the research,” said Ryan Mooney, U.S. Soccer’s chief soccer officer. As evidence of the organization’s commitment to protecting kids, Chiampas pointed to a safety and injury-prevention platform, Recognize to Recover, and to the fact that in 2015, U.S. Soccer instituted a rule disallowing children 10 and under to head the ball. Chiampas also said that the organization has stepped up its coaching education and is deeply committed to creating a “culture of safety” for all players.

Intense youth travel teams can also send unhealthy messages, to kids and adults alike, about a family’s priorities. Club soccer can require heroic measures on the part of adults—driving regularly to and from distant games, giving over sacred weekends to a child’s pursuit, and dividing up the family to deposit different kids at separate venues. One of the main jobs of parents, said Madeline Levine, a psychologist and the author of The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids, is modeling for children what adulthood should look like. Youth sports teams that require parents to devote huge amounts of time and income signal to children that grown-ups are an afterthought, and that being a parent is an exercise in passivity and boredom. “We have become so child-centered that what kids have to look forward to [when they become parents] is diddling with a cellphone and sitting passively, not being an active participant,” she said.

Another downside for elite youth-soccer players is that their clubs tend to pull them away from their high-school communities. Those who play for the rarefied Development Academy teams are prohibited from playing for their schools. Even if they make friends on their soccer teams, “the kids lose out,” said Roberta Moran, the athletic director at Kent Place School, a private girls’ school in New Jersey. “They miss the social aspect of playing a sport with their community of friends at school.” Less-competitive club teams don’t draw kids away from school as strongly—many play for their schools as well—but also exact a social cost, as their year-round schedules make it difficult for players to participate in other sports at their high schools.

Last year, U.S. Soccer imposed a new rule that made these problems worse. The rule was seemingly innocuous: Clubs had to start organizing teams according to players’ birth year rather than their academic year, which caused a lot of roster reshuffling. Victor Matheson, an economics professor at College of the Holy Cross, said that U.S. Soccer made this change to more easily identify the top 20 teenage players for the 17-and-under World Cup, which will be held in Peru next year. He says the change has further disrupted players’ social lives, as it has split up established teams made up of longtime friends. “The entire program is designed to train and identify an elite core of 20 players who will be on the U.S. team in 8 or 18 years,” said Matheson, adding, “this is a tiny fraction of kids who play soccer.”

Part of the reason soccer has this incredibly demanding top tier, said Rick Eckstein, a professor of sociology at Villanova and author of How College Athletics Are Hurting Girls’ Sports, is that it’s one of the most commercialized of youth sports; it contains a flourishing industry of tournament directors, private club and travel teams, and assorted soccer-related businesses whose financial interest is served by the status quo. And unlike basketball, say, which also has a sturdy commercial presence, soccer has developed so that the top players are identified and nurtured only through clubs. While college-basketball coaches still scout players at gyms and high schools, their counterparts in soccer rely on “showcase” tournaments to fill out their teams. “Soccer is the poster child for hyper-commercialized youth sports because it is played across the country and across the world, it has extraordinarily high participation levels, and is equally commercialized for girls and boys,” Eckstein wrote in an email.

Though U.S. Soccer sits atop the pyramid of organizations that oversee all American leagues and teams, it has limited authority over private clubs, and tournament directors, college coaches, and others who make money from youth soccer have little incentive to change. The clubs’ business model “is not our expertise,” Mooney told me, and the most the organization can do is offer incentives for good behavior. Chiampas added that parents need to intervene and do what’s best for their child if a club team is too demanding.

More can be done. Instead of imposing policies that revolve around building a strong national team, regardless of the impact on ordinary players, U.S. Soccer could establish rules that serve more kids (and still cultivate top-tier talent). For example, it could reverse itself and require teams to be formed on the school calendar, so that classmates can continue to play together. It could also use its platform to discourage early specialization and to encourage players to take part in multiple sports, even through high school.

Parents, too, can reassert their authority and insist that their own children not play one sport year-round, especially when their kids are constantly exhausted, sidelined with nagging injuries, and devoid of unscheduled time. “If the sport has knocked out the family environment and nothing else is happening, and others in the family are suffering from the lack of attention, then summon up the courage to say, ‘We’re a family, and we’re not doing this anymore,’” Levine said. “All the things that seem so life-altering when they’re younger—when they get older, you think, That didn’t make much difference,” she added.

Those who care about soccer in the United States could learn something from Belgium. Eighteen years ago, Belgium’s national football (the European term for soccer) team lost in the first round of the World Cup. It was a staggering failure, which prompted the national director of coach education, Kris Van der Haegen, to overhaul the way they trained football coaches. The main principle of the new approach was to put the players first, before coaches or teams, and to “create an environment of freedom” that restored the game’s creativity and fun. In 2015, Belgium became the world’s top-ranked team. “When things are going well, people don’t want to listen,” Van der Haegen said during an interview. The loss “was the perfect moment to get everyone around the table and ask what we were doing wrong.”

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