#zac with some absolute character assassination: its so funny how often you try to jump on things with the worst dex i have ever seen

[18catsreading]

Ally: my acrobatics is negative three

Brennan: oh no no no. Oh no no no. We liked to ask Brennan for cool things. [Forcing Ally to go through with their ribbon dance shenanigans]

All chanting: jump jump jump jump jump

17 -3= 14

Brennan: so you leap out the window. Now, I want Ally to look at me. And you tell me, do you feel like a 14 is a high enough roll for your character to use a dance ribbon to fly? Bearing in mind that if I say yes now I have to say yes every other time you want to do this.

Ally: yea, definitely. I think 14 it's above average, um.

Brennan: don't pay any attention to this noise [so many dice rattling]

Murph: you guys just see the most insane things. See Kristen just go like this [mimics ribbon dancing]

Ally: I'm not trying to like FLY

Brennan: sure you're just trying to descend.

Ally: I'm just trying to like, I'm trying to grapple. It's like a grappling hook

Zac: how many stories is it?

Lou: it's 10

Zac: it's 10 stories?!

Ally: It's o-- is it 10 stories? [Surprised]

Brennan: it's 10 stories

Ally: ok I'm just trying to grapple hook. [Interrupted by Lou's laughing] I'm trying to grapple hook 3 flights down so I can cut off her dad

Zac: yeah, that kind of precision.

Brennan: okay cool. So you're just going to try to nail this. You're going to try to cap this graceful fall at 10 stories

Ally: no, do you understand, like, I'm jumping with the ribbon dancer like this [drawing diagrams in the air] you know, to fly.

Brennan: sure, cool [pulling out the box of doom]

Ally: you know, I don't know if you understand. It's like to fly [vogueing a new diagram]

Brennan: okay, so yea, you're just going to try to go a quick three stories down using a ribbon dance to do that. An ability nowhere on your character sheet.

Ally: the ribbon dancer is written on my character sheet! [Pulling out character sheet]

Brennan nods encouragingly

Murph: you have four dexterity

Brennan: so, here's the thing, I'm going to allow you to avert this because I don't want anyone to say I was cruel or mean or unfair, right? So all I'm gonna ask is this: hit a 14 acrobatics check for me right now. Box of doom.

Ally: another one?!

Brennan: yea, to just, to like Indiana Jones using a ribbon as a bullwhip.

Ally: yea. See. You let Indiana Jones do it, and that's sexist. no one respects femininity in this country. [Rolls the dice in the box of doom, ally's it right on out the side]

Brennan: you Ally'd out of the box of doom, across my lap.

Ally: rolls again.

Brennan: okay, that's a natural 2.

Ally: interesting.

In chorus: so that's a negative one

Emily: I didn't - I really thought this was gonna be one of those crazy Ally moments.

Lou: I didn't want to say it --

Ally: we don't know what the first one landed on though

Siobhan: that's true. The first one is cannon

Brennan: here's your die back

Ally: thank you

Brennan: what happens is this. Kristen, you were like, I have to got to get to the first floor before Angwyn.

Ally: here we go

Brennan: I have great news. You make it to the first floor waaaay before Angwyn does, right? And the reason for that --

Ally: why is that?

Brennan: 16, 23 -- you take --

Ally: can we say the ribbon wraps around me and makes sort of a cushion

Brennan: here is what we are going to say. Kristen to get to the first floor, you take your ribbon, twirl, leap out the window, and take 36 points of damage as you --

Ally: hell yea

Siobhan: absolutely worth it

Brennan: ah! Ah! Ah! And you fucking land on your leg and roll and snap your ankle.

Ally: all right. I do have three points left.