#zahra 001

[ruqaiyahdayne]

who: @dancingshores when and where: lann's day celebrations within casterly rock, ruqaiyah dayne comes across a nobody who has been climbing the ranks of importance within the court of sunspear. how she hates it.

she had noticed it briefly first, orbs passing over the scene as she found herself engaging in conversation with the hand of king cedric of house tyrell, and then her gaze snapped back to it again.

a familiar figure and voice, all sweetness and honey with long thick dark hair behind a mask; and a head of blonde hair she did not recognise, dancing upon the floor. it was enough to cause her to look upon it, making no attempt to even be subtle; what a scene. this was hardly a surprise, was it? the woman had seemingly given up on her mission of being the most unreliable, detached string in the realm and had instead decided to climb the ranks of court - and climbing the cocks of reachmen.

the music came to a slow as the dance began to end, and she found herself winding her way toward the woman she suspected, and the man that would later be confirmed to be lord gael hightower. and when the dance ended, ruqaiyah had no issue with a slow, sarcastic clap for the duo; slipping right to the side of zahra sand, the dornish court seer.

"amazing." ruqaiyah spoke, her tone gushing in falsehood; and yet, she maintained the gaze of them both. would the reachman see her deceit? no doubt zahra sand would, instantly.

and then she switched to their native tongue, a smooth and seamlessly transition as she feigned a friendly move of putting her hand on zahra's forearm, as though to usher her away. "is the court seer too busy planning on spreading herself on the white man to do the ridiculous job given to you out of pity?" myriam allyrion's favourite pet, was what ruqaiyah called her. all the while, not once did she think of the sister she had left for dead on the borders of the tor. the blood that was never upon her hands.

"i want my palm read. save embarrassing us for later and do your job."

[myriamas]

who: @dancingshores​ where: one of the gardens allocated to the dornish quarters within highgarden, in the final few days of the dornish court’s stay within highgarden. there is privacy within the gardens, and martell guards stationed where entrances are located between the bushes. why? because the heir of dorne was in the middle of something incredibly precarious and important. presenting her mother and zahra sand with her kathak skills, an intricate dance skill.

there came the sounds of leila’s ankles with each move she perfected, with a sense sharp of perfection; her movements were sharp, concise, and clear. and yet it were her expressions that caused the sun to beam across the face of myriam allyrion, to watch the girl channel the theatrics that truly made dornish dance different to other forms of dance: each move was almost a piece of theatre. she had never heard of the name zahra sand before, and yet, it seemed as though leila had heard of the woman amongst her own circle of young dornish girls, with the world at their feet and on their shoulders. 

and it were like a wonder had played out before her very eyes; for as much as the princess of dorne would clap and encourage the girl who knew herself to be the ruler of dorne, kathak had never been her strength. if anything, she had been some of the weakest amongst her group of friends all her same age; children, unaware of the realities of the world. and here she was now, with a sense of concise movement that myriam had been unable to install within her old child, regardless of how many demonstrations she had showed. 

regardless of the times the two had grown irritable with one another, they always ended up trying and trying and trying again. 

zahra sand had been working with her daughter for some weeks, and this was the first time she watched it. she heard the woman was very gentle in the way she interacted with children, and ensured to thoroughly run through the woman’s background before granting her access to the very future of dorne. she had found nothing to be worried of, only that the woman engaged in travels with her lord father years ago, as so many of them had. dorne was the only place to go, and thus, so many truly travelled it length and breadth. there was clapping as the girl finished, her face clearly excited; and in one go, she had flurried off to the other girls who watched. 

they spoke excitedly with one another, and myriam watched with a sense of joy, of happiness, and of bittersweetness. there was a time where her daughter would come to her instantly. she truly was growing up. 

turning toward the lady in question, myriam rose from the ornate chair she had placed herself upon, approaching the woman. her face was bright, brighter than it had been in some days; though her altercation with her brother remained hanging heavy in the hair, she was able to find joy in the reality of her life. how she wished for another, and whilst she was not entirely sure, here they were. “what need i say to you?” she asked, the sounds of anklets jingling as she crossed the grass. she was barefoot upon it, feeling the warmth of the sun beneath her soles. “what magic do you use, zahra?” 

[armaans]

who: @dancingshores​ where: one of highgarden’s many bustling halls, within a night of celebration. there was feasting, dancing, and gambling; he noticed how women from the other courts did not seem to engage in the game, apart from their own. currently, armaan was involved in some sort of game of dice, with lyseni, tyroshi and reachmen. 

it was another hot summer night within the great hall of highgarden, ivy and vines creeping up stained glass and ornate white marble decor; and yet, after an evening of feasting, the surroundings was the last thing on his mind. this card game had gone on for far too long, thanks to a specific member of the party seemingly enjoying the conversation more than the actual game. unaware of the impatience that was only growing upon the table, the man continued to speak of matters across the narrow sea; matters that were not anything of significant importance. 

rather, building styles of villas and pavilions - and as the lord of yronwood put down his final hand, his hand seemed to come down hard upon the table top. almost in a way that caused whatever was on the table to shake.

it shut the representative up at least, or reminded him they were here to play the game, rather than engage in small talk for the sake of trying to get in one’s socialising. his dark orbs, stormy in essence, looked to the large crowd that was dotted around the rest of the room; there was dancing, there was one woman dancing specifically. by the sounds of the anklet, his first impression was to think it was the princess consort - only, it was not her. only someone with an uncanny resemblance to her, a woman he had come across before. she had stayed within yronwood with her lord father some years prior, for a brief amount of time; back when his uncle held the regency and armaan was to turn eighteen within the week. 

of course, she was once someone of far more importance to his friend, the ruling lord of the tor. she had stayed with the jordaynes; he was sure he had seen her during his visits to the tor, time after time.

there was much talk of him retaking yronwood that evening over the dinner, stepping into his father’s shoes that dinner; it was almost ironic now. for who knew what betrayal, bloodshed and butchery would come just a week later; crossbows shot into an empty bed, and he watched. her presence reminded him of a time where things seemed okay, but in reality, were truly not. their eyes met multiple times throughout the course of the night, and when he was finally able to collect his winnings once the game wrapped up, the man did not excuse himself. 

rather, moved his way through the crowd in his black kurta, still adorning traditional dornish attire. his hair longer than he usually kept it. moving his way through the crowd, he knew better than to interrupt her. he would not join her. and so, the bloodroyal just became another figure stood around watching. watching, alongside those andals who looked as though she were a piece of meat to be unwrapped. he was there, silently, as he felt as though he needed to be - she was dornish, she was one of their own. 

there was applause as she finished, in a spiral conclusion. he joined the claps, slowly; still keeping his gaze fixed on her. though in truth, his attention was on the people around them. dancers were not whores, not in dorne; he knew not elsewhere. “kya aapaka kaam khatm ho gaya, ya kya mujhe agale din tak yaheen rukana hoga?” (are you finished, or do i have to wait until tomorrow?) 

[dancingshores]

setting : the coronation events of jaehaerys ii, a pair of lords and unlikely third party play a game of cards together ; @nicholaslannisters @percival-templeton

the coronation events of the new valyrian king had been intriguing, to say the least, for the dancer of salt shore did not often find herself beyond the borders of dorne, unless she needed to be. though she was not necessarily needed here, she enjoyed the opportunity to see places outside of her own homeland - a kite drifting wherever the wind should take her. curious, hazel hues scanned the great room before her within the red keep, it was not quite obvious in the open, but not hidden away, either. tables were set up, with nobles sat around them playing various games.

zahra hadn't a clue what the rules of any of these games were, she saw dice thrown, cheers and jeers, laughter as wine seemed to flow through all of their veins. she tended to indulge in her curisosity, especially in such a, what seemed to be, relaxed environment. bangles rang as if they were signaling her approach as she stood near the table where only two lords sat with cards in hand, perhaps preferring the more intimate game, though she would inquire anyways. "is there room for another at this table, my lords?" lips pulled upwards into a friendly grin as she looked between the two, awaiting their response only a brief moment before taking the empty chair, anyways.

[eulcgizeme]

OPEN TO: @gcldenhcurs for zahra azarnoush MUSE: lennon burke, thirty-two. drug dealer. barry keoghan fc. PLOT: lennon and his lady (aka the wife of the cop who basically saved his ratty ass off the streets) are about to do the nasty. however, he realizes something's not right.

A familiar taste tainted her kiss, and Lennon had dismissed it the first time. Bad habits like these were often reminiscent of the company of another, but in his half hearted attempts at being better, he took them one at a time. Sobriety had pulled the veil out between them, but it didn't make up for the fact that this wasn't Lennon's bed— let alone that Zahra wasn't his to keep, even for a night. He had reasoned with it by challenging just how far he could get away with it. Afternoons spent at the Azarnoush house with her alone had evolved into something else in fruitless flirtation, until it did. A hand danced across a hem under the shadow of the dinner table, a wrist always brushing against a buckle between tight spaces, and a whisper of every what if behind a close door was suppose to instigate getting caught. It seemed that neither one of them knew how easily they could be bad and come out unscathed. They had ended up here, afternoon swelling outside, when Amir was gone and Zahra's come down from a shared high still rippled through her. Lennon stuck around, and soon enough, every brush of taunted desire was acted upon. He had boundaries, though, as a means of keeping his concerns at bay. "Wait," He said, breath splayed against her skin as the interrupted kiss was splayed against her chest. His lips brushed against her skin as he tried to catch his words. "Zahra, wait. Is that— are you high right now?"

[dontleaflily]

*/ @silvcrbite at the Summerfest

It's been a while since Lily has last come across Zahra -- she's been more around Aaren lately, going through training session after training session, in an attempt to become a better fighter. Her brother's haven't been something that could be labeled as a good trainer -- and the deep scars on her throat speak volumes. She's been gradually getting better, and still. There's something she has been hiding. A random mention, random proposal she's heard her brother make to her Dad a few days ago, something she wasn't supposed to hear -- I'll challenge for Alpha. And while Aaren might be the better fighter, Lily is still scared that his brutal and cruel ways might get the best of her.

The familiar smell of lilies wavers in with Lily's scent as she leans against the bar right next to the advisor, grin soft on her lips as she masks her trail of thoughts, "Hey Mom," she jokes, but maybe also deep down wishes it to be real, "Are you going to buy me a drink or what?"

[nelefinn]

     𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 [2/𝟸] 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶, 𝙹𝚄𝙽𝙴 𝟹𝟶𝚃𝙷, 𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙴𝚃𝙾𝙽 𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙻, 𝙴𝚇𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁.

     Smoke billowed into the dark sky, a grey monstrosity gaping its maws at the stars. It filled the air with the scent of charcoal and sulfur, hair from the corpses below sparking in the flames. Nele reached back to retie the bandana covering the lower half of her face, wiping her hands on her thighs before she bent down to haul another body into the fire. This was one she recognized more than most, though she’d never gotten to know her well. Marseline. Too young. Her features are nearly unrecognizable, half her face chewed to the bone, though even if she didn’t reconize her, the supple youth of what remained was enough to know it was too soon. Nele knelt, lifting her stiff and heavy torso to pile it over her shoulder, a low grunt escaping her as she stood. It was odd, how little she felt, how the smell of burning bodies didn’t make her stomach turn. She was encased in ice, her warm center put into hibernation, and she couldn’t recall exactly when that had happened. She’d been so young when it happened, but she’d lived some before, so why did it seem so far away?

     Because it was. It was a faint shadow in her past, so indiscernible she forgot it even existed. So pale, she was able to burn the dead with no reaction. She knew it wasn’t right; she knew she was supposed to feel more, but she simply… didn’t. A light sigh was the only reaction given before she tossed the young woman in with the rest, eyes squinting against the harsh smoke as she watched her torn clothing burst into flame. And then, she did feel something. White, hot anger to match the fire — because how had they let this happen? And yet, didn’t it always come to this?

     Nele wiped her forearm over her furrowed brow, her gloved hands and shirt decorated with smeared blood, the crimson on her neck glistening as it mixed with sweat. A crunch behind her; the sound of a footfall, and she turned her head, peering over her shoulder to see who was approaching. Most of the others had taken a break — and most of the others preferred a different clean-up job — but Nele had kept working, because sitting still, even for nourishment, wasn’t an option. She’d keep moving until she was spent, until the idea of sleeping on the crowded mall floors seemed a bit more enticing. Until the rage leapt into the fire with the corpses. Until she could breathe. 

     “You happen to bring back out anything from snack time?”

[follklored]

❛❛ alright , z . . .❜❜ he calls to the living room his voice trails off as he lowers himself to the counter, rustling the reusable plastic bags that take up most of the real estate on the island. from inside the bags he pulls out a plethora of ingredients that could be used to cook cuisine from across the globe. callum isn't a particularly good chef. he's fair, but he tries. he is good at picking up the groceries once a week on his way home for work. he does that splendidly. ❛❛ you've got an important decision to make, my darling. ❜❜

his keys click onto the hook in the foyer, the part of a routine he has established over time. the part of the life that exists only within these walls. the best parts live here. he leans in the doorway to the living room, a smile that crinkles at his eyes spreading on his lips.

❛❛ and that decision -- is whether or not i attempt a meal for us, or if we invariably decide to cut to the chase and order in. think very carefully, as i am prepared to be quite creative with my recipe tonight. ❜❜

@wandcrlusts

[ofzahras]

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT TASK #001

a zahra hamed playlist

[justalittlebluetiefling]

001: Critical Role, specifically Campaign 1, if you haven't seen cr1 then 2 and/or 3

002: Beau/Jester

003: Ashton Greymoore

(hey I just realized I did that in campaign order)

This got long, so if anyone doesn't want to read it all, but if you want to join in the fun with an ask, here's a link to the list. I'm going to put this under the cut, too, because like I said. It got long.

001 | Critical Role Campaign 1

Favorite character: Dude, I always say Keyleth as like, a gut reaction. But when I talk about this campaign, I never shut up about Scanlan.

Least Favorite character: Sorry everyone, but Percy. (Fun fact, I was worried I didn't vibe with Tal, because I also didn't like Molly, but then he came in with Cad and I loved him, so fears averted.)

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Vaxleth, Grogleth, Pikelan, Vex x Zahra, Vexleth

Character I find most attractive: Vex'ahlia. Obviously.

Character I would marry: Pike

Character I would be best friends with: Keyleth

a random thought: This has been talked about lately, but I think people are really missing out when they skip the Kraghammer arc.

An unpopular opinion: Taliesin said less people should like Percy because he's such an asshole and I agree with him. (Listen, I think Percy is ultimately interesting as a character, he just isn't the kind of asshole I vibe with.)

My Canon OTP: Vaxleth

My Non-canon OTP: Grogleth

Most Badass Character: Keyleth

Most Epic Villain: I want to say the Briarwoods, because I love them, but I'll be honest and say Raishan.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Again, I'm sorry, but Perc'ahlia.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I don't think this question can apply, because it's an actual play show, therefore no writers. It would be funnier if I named someone.

Favourite Friendship: Too many??? I guess I'll pick Grog and Keyleth though, since I should probably pick one.

Character I most identify with: Keyleth

Character I wish I could be: Pike

002 | Beau / Jester

When I started shipping them: I actually never did. This is one of those pairings that fanon/fandom kind of ruined for me before I could get into it.

My thoughts: I like the concept of them, but again, like I said above. A lot of louder fandom opinions about them turned me off to them.

What makes me happy about them: I love how much they love each other and support each other. Roommates era is top notch. Their hug after the first dragon fight was very good.

What makes me sad about them: Tbh the (mostly) unrequited feelings in this pairing was very good and very angsty and it was sad.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I don't read a ton of CR fic, but in general, I will say that fic that continues to infantilize Jester is an instant close.

Things I look for in fanfic: n/a

My wishlist: In general, and I'm talking canon, I know they talk all the time because Jester has sending, so I feel pretty good about that. My hope is that they get to retire near each other one day. And I know they still go on adventures together once in a while.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I'm very happy with their canon pairings.

My happily ever after for them: As a ship? It's hard for me to picture a happily ever after better than what they got. BUT. I think that I could see them both as pirates on Fjord's ship. I know Jester would be all about helping Beau root out corruption, but she's too much of a wanderer and loves the ocean too much to keep herself inland for too long.

003 | Ashton Greymoore

How I feel about this character: Great! I think they're very cool and I'm really enjoying the slow reveal of their past and how tied into history it seems to be.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Fearne, Laudna. Tbh I could be swayed to anyone for them right now.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Imogen, FCG

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think I have any unpopular opinions right now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: God, I want all their backstory. I want ALL THE NOTES. Mostly, I want to know what the little dunamis pocket is inside their head. I don't know what else to call it, but that seems right for now.

Favorite friendship for this character: FCG

My crossover ship: Honestly, not romantic, but I think Ashton and Grog would have so much fun fucking shit up together.

[utilitycaster]

001: TAZ (Specifically interested TAZ Balance takes but if you wanna mix in Amnesty or the mini arcs between the two go for it!)

002: Percy/Vex (I'm sure you've talked about about them a ton, but as a bit of a new follower I'd love to hear your opinions) 003: Fig Faeth (or if you haven't seen Fantasy High, your pick of Dimension 20 characters)

below a cut simply bc this shall be long as fuck

TAZ Balance

Favorite character: Lucretia

Least Favorite character: none really;

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): I feel there were not really five ships in this but like, naturally, Lup/Barry and Taako/Kravitz were both a delight

Character I find most attractive: I mean, probably Magnus.

Character I would be best friends with: I want to hang out with Carey and Killian

An unpopular opinion: I think TAZ Balance is very good and I love the graphic novels and all that but I do still think that Amnesty was stronger and deserves more accolades.

Most Badass Character: Lup, this is not a question

Most Epic Villain: I guess John? The main antagonist is like,

Favourite Friendship: the Taco Twins

Character I most identify with: Lucretia, for better or for worse. I do not think I am a well-intentioned extremist irl but I think in a D&D story I could absolutely fall into that.

Character I wish I could be: Davenport but after his memory is restored and he's just a sea captain

Percy/Vex

When I started shipping them: hard to say in that I went into C1 knowing how the general ships shook out. I do remember loving their interaction when Percy first tells VM about the Briarwoods and Vex immediately is like "oh this is 100% our problem now too",

What makes me happy about them: everything. My ideal for fictional romances is truly "we are flawed in the same way, but through each other we can see how we are worthy of love despite that" so like, this is my fucking jam.

What makes me sad about them: not much, honestly! lifespan angst was made up by mediocre fanfic writers to sell more mediocre fanfic.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: nothing specific to them; in general I am a very "he would not fucking say that" person when it comes to fanfic so getting the voices right is crucial, but that's always true for any ship.

Things I look for in fanfic: see above; get the voices right.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I mean, they are perfect for each other and no other ships for either of them compare, but I would not be mad at Percy/Tary or Vex/Zahra.

My happily ever after for them: they've got it! Percy just wants to do weird science in a workshop while a competent partner does all the political work; Vex wants the security that power grants her after a childhood and young adulthood of profound instability and emotional abuse, and both want someone who loves even their more vengeful and complicated side, and that's what they're doing!

Fig Faeth

How I feel about this character: She is great. Love how Emily leaned into Angry Teen in a way that felt real and understandable.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Ayda

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I mean, all the bad kids, but Riz and Kristen are some of my favorites. Also her relationship with Gilear is wonderful.

My unpopular opinion about this character: None really?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Nothing specific other than "please give us a third season one day, please d20 cast, please"

Favorite friendship for this character: Probably Riz; Emily and Murph as players are hilarious in that they NEVER explore romantic chemistry despite being irl married, but their characters almost always end up really good friends.

[zahramorales]

with — @daiyus​ where — daiyu’s room at the residence inn when — may 16, after daiyu’s release trigger warnings — mention of death

Zahra had thought they’d gotten out of this situation scot-free when she’d glimpsed the woman leaving after Ray’s death — no, execution — but she should’ve known better. Worry kicks in as soon as she watches Daiyu take a step towards Mike at the funeral, because if she’s going to worry about anyone in Idaho Falls, there’s a good chance it’s Daiyu. She’s spent the last eleven years watching Daiyu grow from angry, impulsive teenager to even angrier, reckless adult, and she knows it’s only a matter of time before the woman goes one step too far. There’s no doubt in Zahra’s mind that Alexei wouldn’t hesitate to make an example of his daughter if she finally crossed the line.

So she worries the moment Daiyu moves, and she continues to worry for a week as Daiyu is held in isolation. Zahra doesn’t dare to go visit, even if checking in would ease some of the concern, fear of Alexei’s consequences outweighing fear for Daiyu, at least for the moment. Instead, she waits and pretends like Daiyu’s isolation means nothing, an act she’s been performing since she was seventeen. She trades patrol shifts and favors so she just so happens to be free the day of Daiyu’s release and hopes the woman doesn’t do anything stupid to get her isolation extended. There’s no way to finesse that without raising an eyebrow or two.

Zahra waits until ten minutes before patrol change, when the enforcers on evening patrol have left to get to their stations and the ones on morning patrol haven’t returned yet, then takes the opportunity to sneak into Daiyu’s room, a trick perfected when Zahra was nineteen. Her entrance is muffled by the sound of the shower running, so she scans the room to figure out the best place to be that won’t startle Daiyu when she exits the bathroom ( Zahra learned a long time ago that startling Daiyu was not an ideal thing to do ). She’s still debating between two spots when the bathroom door opens, and Zahra turns towards the room’s owner. “Uh, hi,” she says, still standing in the center of the room. Zahra lifts up a packet of one of Daiyu’s favorite snacks that she pocketed during the last raid she’d been on. “I brought you food.”

[adveanture-archived]

i am once again asking for a percildan au 

[ameliascxtt]

Amelia had just finished fixing the table for dinner when there was a knock on the door, and she dropped everything she was doing so quickly that she opened the door for Zahra before the minute passed. “Finally.”, she mused once her good friend appeared in her sight. Catching up over home cooked dinner and wine was a normal thing for them but with how busy the two of them lately, it’s been a while since the last time they had a night like this. She missed it. “I hope you’re hungry because I made us chicken parmesan.” ( @zahratitchen )​

[dancingshores]

setting: a terrace upon casterly rock, where guests mingle and dance indoors during a great feast being held this night, and zahra sand finding herself where she always is, gazing at the stars ; starter for @deimos-velaryon

the sky was lovely here, more serene than she might’ve imagined, though incomparable to the one back home, of course. different stars and constellations than she normally saw were sprinkled in the indigo above, and eyebrows furrowed together as she made it out, trying to memorize everything she saw, to read what she saw. a light breeze blew, and she pulled her dupatta, a burgundy color with golden trim, tighter over her shoulders to shield her from the chill. it was colder than she imagined, although not terrible.

people lingered about the terrace, more so in the seating area, where zahra stood nearer the balcony, in the open space. she heard soft chattering behind her, but she was so focused on what she was looking at that she didn’t hear notice a man who took his spot upon the balcony railing just a few paces away from her. it was only when she heard a heavy exhale that hazel hues drifted to look at him, though she did not know if he were the source of it.

his features were stern, and zahra was unsure if he were in a sour mood, or if that were simply his face. she did not recognize him in the least, but she rarely remembered people up north that she did not stay in contact with outside of her visits outside of dorne with the rest of their court. regardless, she felt so inclined to strike some polite conversation, not out of any obligation other than zahra enjoyed talking and knowing people who were not from dorne, curious about their customs and lives.

“it’s a lovely evening, isn’t it?” she asked, a soft grin upon her lips, she did not truly see him from the front, or up close, for she knew if she saw the lilac of his eyes, she likely would not have engaged at all.

[ofwannabees]

𝐍𝐎𝐖  𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆  :  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠  .

the  “  i  love  my  friends  ,  but  i  forget  to  call  them  ”  chapter  .

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜  𝚒𝚜  𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝  𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜  𝚞𝚜  𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚜             𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚊  𝚍𝚎𝚕  𝚛𝚎𝚢  /  ❝  the  prettiest  in-crowd  that  you  had  ever  seen  ,  ribbons  in  our  hair  and  our  eyes  gleamed  mean  .  a  freshmen  generation  of  degenerate  beauty  queens  .  and  you  know  something? they  were  the  only  friends  i  ever  had  .  ❞

track 001. shout out to zahra and audrina !! the girls ! her besties. they’re a little bit messy, but kitty still adores those two. in the stupid wannabe way,, but she’s also grown to actually like them as people. they took her under their wings, they were friends to her. it just has such fun and carefree girlboss energy for them and we love that!! i love the lil discount powerpuff girls  ( @zahrajackson & @staudrina )

𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗             𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎  𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛  /  ❝  i  guess  it  just  comes  with  the  autumn  .  the  innocence  i  thought  i  had  forgotten  ,  i’ll  cherish  this  .  these  months  i’ve  missed  .  my  friends  ,  they  answer  when  i  call  them  .  i  love  my  friends  but  i  forget  to  call  them  .  in  foolishness  i’ve  made  a  mess  .    i’m  changing  with  the  leaves  and  the  leaves  are  changing  me  .  i’ve  felt  this  growing  season  ,  and  i  love  my  friends  .  it  was  good  to  see  them  cause  it’s  been  a  year  .  ❞

track 002. pre candy girl drama,,, kitty probably cared abt zahra, audri, harvey & rory exclusively. noah on a good day. the fact that she’s developing little soft spots for more and more of them melts my heart. sharing that sandwich with zev (even tho she was horrible abt it before soz zev) & fashion advice with cris. mackenzie. even starting to bond with casey beyond being noah’s brother and audrina’s ex-fling. she loves her friends!! is she good at expressing it?? hell no, but she’s growing <3

𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝  𝚕𝚎𝚝  𝚖𝚎  𝚐𝚎𝚝  𝚖𝚎           𝚙!𝚗𝚔  /  ❝  every  day  i  fight  a  war  against  the  mirror  .  i  can't  take  the  person  staring  back  at  me  ,  i'm  a  hazard  to  myself  .  don't  let  me  get  me  .  i'm  my  own  worst  enemy  ,  it's  bad  when  you  annoy  yourself  .  so  irritating  ,  don't  wanna  be  my  friend  no  more  .  i  wanna  be  somebody  else  .  ❞

track 003. but,, also,, uhhh. kitty is not a team player. p!nk said “never win first place, i don’t support the team” and kitty felt that. this song re: the gang is a lot of kitty’s insecurity. she doesn’t want to be her own friend!! why would they? it’s a lot of pushing them away, keeping her mask on, pretending to be someone else

𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕  𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜             𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚘𝚛  𝚜𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚝  /  ❝  all  that  i  wanted  was  to  be  wanted  .  i'll  never  wander  london  streets  alone  and  haunted  .  born  into  nothing  .  with  them  i  have  something  ,  something  to  cling  to  .  i  never  knew  i'd  love  this  world  they've  let  me  into  .  ❞

track 004. the whiplash y’all are about to get i am so sorry. i am not apologising for using a song off the cats soundtrack. a) it’s taylor b) it’s KITTY c) it fits. this entire song screams kitty. like “wait for my life to start with no beauty in my memories”?? cmon BUT i want to draw attention to the last bit. she’s moved on from “scared to call them my friends and be broken again” (mostly) and starting to see a little bit of the fact with THEM she has something.

𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔  𝚖𝚎  𝚘𝚞𝚝             𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚒𝚎  𝚊𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚜  /  ❝  i  think  i'm  burnin'  alive  ,  but  nobody  sees  the  fire  .  when  i  open  my  mouth  ,  i  seem  to  be  stuck  in  silence  .  i  thought  of  leavin'  tonight  ,  but  i  couldn't  drive  this  tired.  plus  ,  after  all  this  time  ,  i  should  be  a  pretty  crier  .  now  i  only  let  me  down  when  there's  no  one  else  around  .  i've  been  thinkin'  way  too  loud  .  i  wish  that  i  could  block  me  out  .  don't  know  how  they  see  me  now  ,  feelin'  lost  in  every  crowd  .  i  feel  ten  feet  off  the  ground  .  i  wish  that  i  could  block  me  out  .  ❞

track 005. oh and we’re back to crying. same vibes as track 3, but less of the way kitty is still super fake around her friends,, but more the way she gets dramatic and emotional and pushes people away or lashes out at them. in the wise words of miss swift “baby you’re losing it” the whole narrative of the fact she “should be a pretty crier” by now,, not only in the sense that’s obviously working overtime to convince everyone that she’s a Beauty Queen but also just the fact she should have a lil more grace and poise but instead she,, reacts to noah & rory the way she does and things like that. there’s always glimpses of Herself that kitty sees and hates

𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚖             𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎  /  ❝  i'm  kind  of  over  gettin'  told  to  throw  my  hands  up  in  the  air  ,  so  there  .  i'm  kind  of  older  than  i  was  when  i  reveled  without  a  care  ,  so  there  .  we  live  in  cities  you'll  never  see  on-screen  .  not  very  pretty  ,  but  we  sure  know  how  to  run  things  .  livin'  in  ruins  of  a  palace  within  my  dreams  .  you  know  ,  we're  on  each  other's  team  .  ❞

track 006. they are not exactly the best team in the world,, but yknow what?? at the end of the day,, they are on each other’s team! it’s them vs candy. let’s be real,,,, them vs literally all of cherry. which all of cherry is so valid for btw