#zaven rants about music

[zombiified]

i always get more notes when i make fandom posts like ac or geah but the second i post about the only thing i love as much as i love my own original content (two faced charade) its 1 like from my boyfriend smh. bitch why cant this album be more??? known???? it literally hasnt been relevant since 2013 and that thoroughly disappoints me because the entire band (famous last words) is nothing but quality, talent, and good, genuine people. but noooo we have to listen to brendon urie sing about drugs and shit

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 s5 rewatch: Ep 5 Shifting Sands

I don’t know when the last time I saw this episode was. When it aired maybe. I’m nervous. RIDICULOUS.

OKAY. I must offer some warnings for this liveblog. It is Bellarke friendly of course. It is also pro Zaven and pro Memori. Not anti Murven, but I don’t ship them and I don’t see it. So be aware going in. It is not anti Echo or b/e, but not pro them either.

It is however, kinda anti Octavia. So this is the real warning. She really pisses me off in this episode. And I do QUITE a bit of ranting. It is not flattering. Don’t read it if you love Octavia and can’t handle criticism. Her character is hard core criticized her, I think she is not doing good, is making bad decisions and is flat out wrong. And I don’t make excuses. So if you love octavia and can’t handle antis please take my warnings seriously. I am not ever anti anyone, but this interpretation is hardcore unflattering. I still want her to be redeemed, but she’s got a lot to answer for in my book. Stans may not be happy. Caveat Emptor. Buyer beware.

Oh this is also not Kara Cooper friendly. Totally hate her. Does cooper have fans? don’t read. Oh also not a McCreary fan.... well, I mean he’s awful, but he’s great at being awful so I like that. not that Octavia and Cooper aren’t also great at being awful, and to be honest I’m really enjoying ALL their evil, so is it really HATE? Idk. Not good for stans tho.

This is LONG, like almost 4k words. 

Jackson glad to see Clarke, coulda used you in the bunker. Jackson won’t tell her why Abby was afraid. Miller says good bye and kisses him. That’s still so damn cute. But iller ignores Clarke completely. Meanwhile the army is ready to go.

“Miller wait!”

Bellamy to the rescue, “slow down Miller.”

“Octavia told me not to.” Just noted that Miller talks to Bellamy but not to Clarke. I wonder if that’s an Octavia order, if she’s treating Clarke like a foreign leader.

Miller tells Clarke she can’t just do whatever the hell she wants there. Clarke is telling him the what for on the weather and land. Miller is listening to her because she’s making sense.

Octavia is planning military strategy. The irony here is that Octavia is more closely planning military idiocy without strategy. Or I guess the strategy is full speed ahead. Idk.

Kara Cooper tries to give Miller his orders. “I know my orders,” he says, slightly sass daddy, and tells Octavia she should listen to what Clarke has to say. Octavia raises her eyebrows like she can’t believe he would listen to Clarke. Or tell octavia to listen to her. Or something. Indra is trying for good strategy, Clarke says the sea route is MAYBE passable, and Octavia is like “Maybe is good enough.” THAT GIRL IS NOT A GOOD STRATEGIST. Bellamy tries to stop her and they pull their guns on him. Octavia lets him speak.

“We’re all on the same team. No one wants to get to that valley more than me. It’s my home, but this way is risky.”

Clarke tells her about the glass sandstorms. Kara Cooper is pushing stupidity. Indra is trying to be reasonable.

Octavia says if this is the last living valley on earth then it should be ours.

“Diyoza thinks the same thing,” Bellamy says.

“And so we fight.”

Good thinkers: Bellamy, Clarke, Indra, Miller. Bad thinkers: Octavia and stupid Kara Cooper. I blame her. She reinforces Octavia’s bad ideas and power trips with her ass kissing. Kara you suck. Man she is the WORST.

Indra says Octavia needs Bellamy and she’s glad he’s here for her, and then points Clarke and Bellamy to the packs.  And invitation if I’ve ever heard.

Clarke turns to Bellamy, at a loss. “What do we do?”

“Raven and Murphy are in trouble. I have to go with them.” Clarke is a bit shell shocked at that, then Bellamy makes jokes about “a six day hike through sandstorm country with a gladiator country? What could go wrong.” and hands her the pack and she smiles. “After you.”  Honestly all her emotional reactions are so tight and nailed down. She had like .10 seconds of panic that he was leaving her, and then it’s like she’s all of a sudden excited to go on adventures again.

DIyoza knows they’re fanatics. She’s used to those. She doesn’t know that Shaw is a traitor and the missiles are down because of him. She threatens torture for Raven, and we find out that she and McCreary were together once. “That was torture, too.” Queen of Sarcasm.

Back in the valley, nice and green. The prisoners playing some sort of death metal or something, and goofing off. Very reminiscent of the delinquents first off the drop ship. Diyoza thinks they’re desecrating the valley. She is not like them. She’s disciplined, they’re worse than delinquents. Wait wasn’t that music like William Miller’s real music? Like it was McCreary’s band. Lol.

Abby sees the drawing of Madi. “Who’s that?” Kane asks. “I don’t know.” She says, he points out there were two beds in the house. Almost like she wasn’t alone.

Here’s Vinson in his collar. He has trouble controlling his more “primal urges.”  

“If the demon comes out, you pull that trigger.” This is no delinquent dealing pot on the ark.

And Diyoza has Abby’s number and knows she’s an addict already.  She says they’re not prisoners, but protective custody. Kane also says he needs guarantees on Raven and Murphy’s safety. Aww. That’s really nice. He’s still taking care of his kids. And then he offers to sell Octavia out. Lol.  She doesn’t trust traitors. But she was one herself. THEN she catches Vinson stealing a scalpel. Lol. Don’t forget that Vinson is a bad guy. “Keep your hands and feet away from his mouth and you should be fine.”

Sharing rations with their chant. “All of me for all of us.” Okay fine that’s creepy. And foreshadowing.

Clarke thinks it’s beautiful. They lost a third of their people and had no idea if they would get out. She thinks it’s impressive.

“So is surviving alone. How’d you do it?” His voice is so soft.

“Well I wasn’t alone.” For a second her voice is open. Then she shakes her head. “I had Madi.” Then all of a sudden she’s tired and gives him her rations. She’s running away.

Indra tries to tell Octavia that Bellamy loves her and she says love is a weakness. Indra does not believe this and says it was nonsense. She says it was Gaia’s teachings.

“It’s not nonsense. Love no one and no one can hurt you.” This is where Octavia ends up after losing Lincoln, and having all that anger towards Bellamy. She cut them off. Cut love off. This might have been what could have happened to Clarke if she’d been forced into this leadership…. Without Bellamy to act as a counter balance.

“I love you,” Indra says, like a challenge. “Does that make me weak?”

Octavia backs down.

Miller is back with his partner, screaming. Clarke comes in. Stupid Kara Cooper won’t let her. Clarke asks Octavia’ permission and she grants it. “THere’s something inside him.” They find the hole in dude’s legs.

“It came from the sand, we have to go back. Miller said they were everywhere.”

Octavia says no and Cooper agrees with her. Indra: “what a surprise.” I love sarcastic Indra who doesn’t like Cooper. Me either girl.

Torturing Raven. Oh no.”She’s tougher than she looks.” No shit mccreary. Shaw apologizes. McCreary is a psycho who douses her with water so the electricity will conduct. Shaw intervenes. McCreary brings in Murphy and punches him. New torture victim. Asks them who killed Kodiak on the ship. Shaw aims a gun at him to make him stop. “You’re making a mistake.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Shaw threatens to damage his legs— not needed to fly.

I actually need to rewind for Zaven dynamic. hold up. He  crouches down, his apology is very sincere. It’s his fault and he knows it. Because he’s the one who screwed with the missiles not Raven. Oooh. He’s breathing very heavy when McCreary threatens her. He don’t like it. HE LIKES HER. It isn’t returned. He HATES McCreary though. Shaw has those big, sad eyes. He can’t take it anymore. And Faces off against McCreary.

Raven cares more for Murphy, of course. They are authentically worried for each other. Murphy tells her not to tell Shaw anything and Shaw is like, “She couldn’t if she wanted to, I’m the one who locked the weapons system.” He’s a very honest traitor. I think he regrets whose side he’s on. But what they were doing to the prisoners was wrong TOO. He’s someone who already believes in that Doing The Right Thing thing. He’s definitely one of our delinquents, not one of the criminals.

He tells them that Diyoza was going to kill the whole bunker right then and there and if he didn’t do something it would all be over. Murphy says they were tortured for nothing and Raven says it was to save his own ass. Shaw doesn’t like that. “I’m sorry were you looking for a thank you? You let them do that to us because of what happens to you if they find out the truth!”

Murphy wants to hear him out and see if he has a plan. His plan is to say she came clean.

Raven says it sucks because she’ll use the missiles. But he says either he says she came clean or he hacked it but one of those options means raven and Murphy stay alive.

Enter genius Raven. She saw him on the captain’s log and knows he’s not one of them and that’s why he locked the missiles and why he’s gonna help them. “Trust me Murphy. You’re gonna like my plan more.”

Oh Abby has the shakes. Trying to be a doctor while her body collapses from withdrawal. Kane wants to take care of her, he knows how to handle her withdrawal and she feels guilt for the arena.

Diyoza is being the gossip. She loves to see who likes who. ’Am I interrupting? Just tell me what I need to know and I”ll leave you to your shakes and vomiting.” Diyoza has the medical files from the last doctor. McCreary killed him. She basically said that as long as Abby can be a good doctor she’ll stay alive and says Kane is a determined traitor as she tries to get her to accept the bunker for their resources and skills. She’s like they’re all trained to kill. You expect me to invite them in to tea?

“I don’t know, do the murderers and thieves you surround yourself with now drink tea?” Kane giving back the snark.

McCreary tattles to Diyoza about Shaw pulling a gun on him and she’s like no. You’re not allowed. To kill him, of course.

But there’s Murphy running away into the woods. He’s escaped. Ooh Echo finds him.

“Where’s Raven,” Emori asks. “You left her? Why am I not surprised?”

She made a deal. Monty wants to know about the shock collar, he warns him away. They ask him about Abby and Kane, Murphy is clueless. “That means Bellamy got the bunker open.”

Madi comes to ask about Clarke. “Who’s the hobbit?” He says never mind and says they need to warn them about the missiles. LOTS of info right here. Very short time. The rover is in the bear cave. ‘Don’t worry, the bears are gone,” says Madi. That is a funny line.

Shaw. He says he let Murphy go. But then he points out the collar and it’s tracking and Raven calls him a son of a bitch for betraying her… or is that part of the plan? I think it’s the plan.

Madi: “I thought you’d be funnier.” Clarke told her stories.

“Oh really, was I the dashing hero who got the girl?” —Or the selfish ass who lost her. Emori of course.

“Octavia’s my favorite. Clarke said she wouldn’t have made it without each one of you.”

“We wouldn’t have made it without her,” Echo

“Not even close.” Harper.

Murphy’s shock collar triggers.

Emori is worried, monty knows it’s proximity and gets Madi to back up.

Emori starts to try and disarm it and Echo says there’s no time they have to warn everyone about the missiles. Murphy ditches from the rover and Monty says no because there’s a tracker and they’ll come get him. Murphy tells them to go

Holdup I’m rewinding for the Memori dynamic. Emori goes to him first as soon as he’s shocked. She doesn’t like that she cares but she does. She didn’t stop loving him. But her hate is real too.

They leave Murphy behind and there is Emori waiting with him. She sighs heavily. He’s confused. He thought she hated him.

Bellarke. Working together to figure out the new danger.

“Octavia’s not the only one who’s changed, you know? You could have killed those prisoners. But you didn’t. Diyoza would have killed me if not for you and Madi would be alone. You got the bunker open.” She does it all while she’s working on the warrior. Keeping her distance. Opening up to him. The same Bellamy. The same Clarke. Learning new things about each other.

“Who knew it would turn out to be pandora’s box,” he says.

“Im serious Bellamy. The heart and the head.” He is the hero in her dreams.

“The heart and the head.” This is how they reconnect.

Uh oh here comes a sandstorm. Bitches. She told you.

“The wind hasn’t met wonkru.” SCUSE YOU OCTAVIA? What the hell kind of myths were you reading where you think a handful of warriors can defeat the weather. 9 months on earth and she thinks she’s more powerful than the freaking sky? Bellamy your sister is an idiot. I think she thinks she’s a greek god.  You know what that’s called baby? Hubris. Pride goeth before the fall.

“Keep moving? Thanks to you, we’re stuck between razorblades winds and burrowing parasitic bugs.” Bellamy stands in her way.

“Thanks to YOU we’re at war.” OH MY GOD SHE’S SO STUPID. Y’all idolizing blodreina? She did NOT get grandpappy Blake’s smart genes. Bellamy saved your ass and opened the bunker before you starved in there due to your sidekick’s incompetence with the farms.

“Only if you insist on fighting it,” he doesn’t even pay attention to her blame game, he’s to used to that dynamic with her. He hasn’t broken free.

“Fight or die, that’s all there is.” No it’s not. No seriously. Why is she so dumb. She read. We know. Bellamy taught her. Is it because other people aren’t really real to her? I don’t get it. Why does she do this? She’s got this fantasy in her head and she’s do devoted to it that it’s become the only way. “You don’t get it because you’re not one of us.”

He continues to challenge her, ask her if warrior is one of her people and Cooper and her guards are getting angry at his disrespect. Clarke is worried.

Luckily warrior starts screaming to lessen tensions. Lol. Sandworms lessen tensions.

Yikes! Worms explode out his bellay! Everyone panics and I’m laughing. Sorry. Worms GOOD! REWIND lets watch it again. Tee hee. Yes. I like. This is the kind of post apocalyptic sci fi survival adventure drama we LIKE.

Oh Octavia can’t feel her legs, and Clarke tries to stop the worm from getting into her torso, and Kara Cooper is freaking out about the dozens of eggs (or is she plotting already, she’s kin to the worms, you can see her connect to them.)

“Thank you. GO,” Clarke tells her. NO ONE LIKES YOU KARA COOPER.

And meanwhile Bellamy is like, “I’m right here, we’ got this.” Clarke cuts into her arm and just grabs hold of the sucker.

“Clarke you’re gonna lose it!” Bellamy says.

“Like hell I am.” Classic Clarke. Then she… just grabs hold and pulls.

Oh, Monty finally reaches them on the radio. It’s an *Emergency.*

Bellamy’s like, “We got your emergency beat.” Monty is like, “I doubt that.” And tells him about the eye in the sky and the missiles. While Monty is telling them the danger, Clarke wraps the worm around her own hand for a better grip and PULLS. It snaps out like a rubber band. Miller puts it in a jar. Oh miller.

Indra, “where do we find cover in the middle of a wasteland?” Indra is thinking strategy and reason.

Clarke says “If we retreat they’ll back down.”

Octavia says

Get this.

She says, “you still don’t understand. Wonkru does not retreat.”

Dumbass tyrant. I do NOT understand how y’all Stan her with this. I am sorry. She is a flipping FOOL. There is not ONE decision she made in season 5 that was good in any way shape or form, except to bow before Madi and accept the heda. I know she’s beautiful and badass, but y’all have GOT to stop letting appearance cloud your freaking judgment like that. She’s TERRIBLE and stupid and selfish and flat out EVIL. It’s not a question of understanding who she is and where she comes from, I understand that too. I know she had to do the hard thing at the beginning but that was NO EXCUSE for where she let it go. That was NO excuse for her behavior when they got free. Everyone has been through hell. You can’t let that turn you evil. You just can’t. You are not excused for this. Ugh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to rant, but come ON.

Bellamy says, “You do if you want to live,” which is reasonable and not stupid, and not full of ego and delusions of godhood.

Indra is like stop fucking arguing we don’t have time for this. Except, you know, she’s more polite than I am. And she mentions that the route home puts them in a sandstorm.

“Those ruins are not our home. That Valley is and we’re taking it back…. Get ready to understand.” That last was glared at Bellamy, like it’s his fault or something. OH right. She thinks it’s his fault. Did I say I think Octavia is dumb? Yeah. I do. Hey, Octavia, you end up losing, like half your people over the next couple of weeks. And, you know, you don’t actually beat Eligius with wonkru. That was, ahem, your brother and HIS team. And Clarke. And Madi. And freaking SHAW. Even Diyoza. What do we understand NOW? Okay. Not now. Now is ep5. That’s 8 eps away. Oh we understand something and it’s not what you think. Think? Does she think? And it’s not the venom making her dumb because she keeps on being dumb all season. Bad leadership is bad leadership. She treats her people like tin soldiers. Expendable. Like Jaha did. Because he taught her how. And like Lxa did, although she got lxa’s teachings roundabout through Indra and Gaia. (Remember the love is a weakness thing.) Octavia does NOT break the cycle, she keeps it spinning.

Shaw. Diyoza says fire at will. Shaw doesn’t want to. Boom goes the tent camp. Shaw is visibly upset.

And there is Wonku huddled around Octavia, Indra yelling “Hold! Hold!” As the razor sands blow around them. Bellamy is in the crowd as Clarke works on Octavia on the ground, inside. Not saying they’re not badass. They are definitely badass. Badass doesn’t excuse stupid though.

Shallow Valley. Kane and Abby in Clarke’s house. Abby is calm and collected and going through medical files.

“Give me the pills,” Kane says. She says no. “You promised.”

McCreary charges in. Seizes Kane. McCreary is a goon. She says she won’t help if Kane is hurt he says, menacingly, “yes you will.” Abby is smart. She knows, she asks which of the med charts is his.

Me, I’m like TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT. I know he’s built. He’s handsome when he isn’t playing McCreepy. Give us a show man. YOUR DOCTOR NEEDS TO DO AN EXAMINATION. TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!!!! I really don’t know if he will. Zipper.

YAY!  Oooh. Nice back. Lucky Eliza. Lots of tats. Come on lets get some abs and pecs. Aww. Nope.

Lol.

I don’t care leave me alone.

Shoving Kane in the woods. ‘You’re making a mistake. There are so few people left. You can’t just kill everyone and expect…”

There’s Diyoza with some booze. I’d just like to tell you that, as a woman who’s btdt, she’s about 4 months in this shot. And in the 2 weeks of the story? She goes to about 8.5 months. I mean we have to let that go, because time is time and they had to work with the reality of her pregnancy and they did, which was really nice. Yay for Jason working with a working pregnant mother to allow her to continue to do her job. That was actually really nice and a GOOD thing to do. For human rights and decency and equality.

Diyoza however, knows that the battalion was huddling in a sandstorm to protect her. “Do you think an army of murders and thieves would follow me into a sandstorm?”

Now SHE’S a smart leader. She sees the value in her enemy and isn’t just KILL KILL KILL DEFEAT THEM. She also sees the flaw in her own leadership and people. She’s EVALUATING the situation logically, despite who’s on what side. That was deliberate, that contrast. As not only wonkru’s zealotry and devotion is contrasted against a bunch of thugs with no central core, but also her calm evaluation of the situation. AND that she brings Kane in to talk to him because she now knows she needs what he knows. She offers him tequila. I guess no agave on the ark.

And he wishes she hadn’t given abby back those pills. Here we hear about Diyoza’s backstory. Her seal team was sent to bring her in and they put two in her father’s head, like she taught them, for hiding her and she knew it was over so she slashed her own throat. “They should have put two in my head.” She calls Abby his wife. He says she isn’t. Still not sure why he said that. It doesn’t matter. And she kinda IS his wife isn’t she? He looks mistrustful as she tosses back the tequila. He chokes on it.

Indra has glass in her lungs. 11 died 12 including Obika. Out of 50. Isn’t that like almost a quarter of her battalion. How can she still act like Wonkru is stronger that the winds? Octavia sounds the retreat.

Clarke checks her arm.

“Thank you for saving my life.” I count three people grateful to Clarke so far this episode. 4 if you include Monty nodding when Harper and Echo said it.

“You saved ours.” No she didn’t, Bellamy. You shouldn’t be out there. “You were right. Wonkru is strong, just like their leader.”

“I”m glad you’re alive big brother,” kiss of death,” But if you ever speak out against wonkru again then you are an enemy of wonkru. And you are my enemy.” “ Clarke does not like this. Me either. It’s psychotic. No it’s not. She’s not crazy. She knows what she’s doing. She thinks she’s justified and right and righteous. She’s as much of a zealot as Jaha ever was, but she thinks SHE’S the promise land and Jaha thought it was something he could find outside of himself.

Uh oh. ROVER

MADI!!  Clarke is happy! She runs to Clarke they hug.

Monty! Waves at Octavia and she waves back. Shocked almost.

And there is Echo, Bellamy runs to her and they kiss and Clarke’s life is forever changed.

UH OH.

OCTAVIA AND THE DEATH GLARE. She’s talking to YOU Echo. Yikes. Blodreina mad.

[velvet-tread]

Unfiltered sweary mess: 507 edition

I had thoughts so I decided to this again. Let’s hope it doesn’t become a habit.

Let’s start with the Bellarke of it all, and the sheer joy of seeing them hustle up a plan together on the fly. AND LISTEN I am not on the #bellamysucksnow train, or the #bellarkeisdead train either and as such fair warning there is squee incoming. It feels like the core of the show has returned to us after s4’s barren years and IT IS GREAT. And honestly? I don’t care that romance isn’t in the air between them RIGHT NOW. I thought I would mind but I don’t. It feels right. It feels true to Bellamy, and it feels true to Clarke, and it feels exactly like the vibe I’d expect and want between two characters who love and respect each other and their choices, who have been apart for so long and need to reconnect. Let’s do right by Clarke and Bellamy, yeah? We’ve waited for 4 seasons (the last of which gave us sweet fa) we can wait a little longer.

And seriously, even if it turns out they are just beautiful co-leaders with a lot of professional respect for each other (yeah RIGHT) they could never, ever kill that relationship for me as long as they are in scenes together like this. I don’t care if they don’t bang (call me out on my lies someone), but the concurrent Bellarke scenes in the dining hall, and the triffid room, and then on Echo-watch just gave me so many OTP vibes. Bellarke are at their most effective when they’re together, even better when they have the support of their genius friends. And we got a return of the Bellarke dry-as comedy double act WTF @the100writersroom are you trying to be good at your jobs or something.

Top bantz, as we’d say in Essex.

Too bad the Bellarke unity ain’t gonna last, but thankfully, Bellarke are just as awesome when they are just…very angry and exasperated with each other ok, but DON’T HURT YOUR PRECIOUS SELF I MAY BE FURIOUS BUT WHEN DID YOU LAST SLEEP AND DO YOU NEED SOMETHING TO EAT

Great to have Monty back in the frame cutting through everyone’s bullshit. I thought he’d been relegated to a bit part this season. Oh ye of little faith. Does anyone realise that Monty is the biological weapon earth forgot? Put that angry face in a room with Octavia and see how long it takes for her to crack and wither from Monty’s externalised disappointment with everyone and everything.

Bellamy burning Octavia ow ow ow. I’ve already spoken about this at some length but damn that hurt. And it was deserved, but still spoke to the depth of his contempt for Blodreina.

Which brings me to…BELLARKE V BLODREINA: GRUDGE MATCH

And man, was this grudge match some time coming. To make sure the audience was VERY CLEAR on EVERYONE’S MORAL STANDING, the show helpfully prepped us with some little reminders that Bellamy helped commit a massacre, and Clarke did a load of horrible human testing in Becca’s lab last season. Thanks show.

So, all armed and loaded, the mud slinging began, and boy was it awesome.  First of all Bellarke takes Octavia to task about the worms and TURNS OUT OCTAVIA DIDN’T KNOW which get a grip on power here Octavia because it’s slipping from your grasp faster than you can say Wonkru Barbecue (shoutout to @mego42 – your time is coming). But Miller obviously watched the earlier part of the show and recapped for Octavia just in time because she’s ready for that shit and fires everyone’s dark past back at them. Cue: Bellamy’s best frowny face and Eliza Taylor’s saddest, most regretful Clarke eyes.

Bellarke disarmed and cowed (for now) live to fight another war they don’t want to fight.

But Octavia’s grudge match continues in her office when Indra enters with the intention of being reasonable, which is exactly the kind of shit Blodreina has warned her about before so help her god.

Indra is, obviously, the Queen of Everything and My Heart and delivers some bitchass Truths as Indra is wont to do and Octavia rewards her by throwing what my mind remembers as a skull but was probably a paperweight because why would Octavia have a skull in her office *nervous laughter*

Indra leaves, still Queen of Everything and My Heart, but not before delivering a portentous warning about losing yourself in the dark, which obviously Octavia is not going to listen to because DAUGHTERS, MAN.

Talking of daughters, Madi trying to suck at training was the most adorbs thing I’ve seen in a long time, guys and I am subscribed to a LOT of cat blogs. And man I felt for her. Sucking at anything sucks, and sucking on PURPOSE is just the height of unfair. And she’s in a new school! And the other kids are mean! And maybe they eat people!

Serious question though: from whence did Madi learn her swordswomanship? Clarke? Helios? Roan? (too soon?).

But don’t blame Clarke, Madi! Clarke’s Madi feels are pretty much on a par with mine which means she wants to cry every time she looks at her earnest little face AND CLARKE I FEEL THAT SO HARD YOUR BABY IS ADORABADASS. Which also means MAMA MODE ACTIVATED when Vodka Aunt Octavia starts messing up that precious braid she put in Madi’s hair earlier.

Hey Vodka Aunt, you don’t just get to come in here and make executive choices about Madi’s career, especially given your past efforts at parenting *looks at Ethan*

Oh, oh, oh and WE GOT A RETURN OF THE MUSICAL INTERLUDE! It was like Knocking on Heaven’s Door and Early Seasons feels all over again. But I gotta say Jason, fresh from the Sense8 finale my musical interlude expectations are higher these days and I was a bit disappointed there wasn’t a dance off. Perhaps an orgy or an endgame B/C/E triad instead? *Wanheda jaw clench*

But anyway that whole sequence of Clarke sending Madi off to her first day of training sent me in to a spiral of sadness that lasted for a lot of minutes I wasn’t counting. It was very sad and I am sad about it. Poor Clarke.  Just as well Octavia helped her remember she’s motherfucking Wanheda.

MY GIRL ECHO MY GIRLING UP THE HOUSE.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate what a babe Echo kom Spacekru nee Azgeda is.  First of all: EVIDENCE OF SPACE GIRL SQUAD and I am all here for that. Second of all Echo is officially the first person on the show to get one over of Colonel Charmaine Diyoza SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING SHOT.

And listen up everyone who bashes at their keyboards dribbling with rage about the things other women like on television: I love ladies with swords and if you want an apology for that you’ll have to prise it out of my cold dead body. But can we just take a (second) moment to appreciate that for all of Echo’s badass sword skills, she is Clarke Griffining up this joint like a motherfucker. Echo is as Slytherin as Clarke and as sneaky as Clarke and as smart as Clarke and that manoeuvre she executed with Zeke and Raven was 100% a Clarke Griffin move, don’t @ me.

It’s almost like….they’re similar….on purpose….

Shout out to all the smart, insecure girls who aren’t sure if they belong. Learn to swordfight, use your brain, and get yourself a girl squad and a soft space dad boyfriend.

Sidebar: Clarke’s faith that Echo would take the eye down and her admiration when she does will keep me in Clecho feels for months.

But friends…I am the most fervent of Echo stans and Becho shippers and I am AFEARED. She is very much circling the abyss here and it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. I believe Raven will forgive her (FOR WHAT CAN SOMEONE PLS ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT RAVEN IS SO PISSED ABOUT??) and I believe the rest of Spacekru will 100% understand what she did because it was presented to us as an understandable choice.  But but but… what’s next?  Diyoza ain’t gonna take the turn the other cheek approach to learning that Echo took down her eye in the sky. What if her next move is to make *Echo* her eyes in exchange for safe passage for Spacekru?

*sweats forever*

That seems like a Diyoza move. And like…where would that leave Echo with Bellamy? Her choice would be: tell him and risk the whole mission and/or turn him into a lying liar to his sister too, or not tell him and risk their entire relationship and hurt him very badly. I think I know which one my loyal girl would choose and how that would end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

*ugly crying*

I’m not ready.

Okay it’s time for a Raven rant. What the hell is going on with Raven this season? Raven has had some beautifully executed arcs in the past, and I am high key here for her to finally get some NC-17 action now she’s done all that Work On Herself, but if Raven’s arc in s5 amounts to RAVEN DIDN’T GET BONED FOR 6 YEARS AND NOW SHE’S GETTING BONED then Imma flip a table.

Sidebar#2 obviously Raven got boned on the Ring, it’s not like they would have had a space orgy without her, come ON.

And just… I’m sorry I don’t get the Zaven. When they released the s5 pics I thought WOWZA these two are gonna be gr9 together and LOOK HE’S A SPACE EXPLORER. How could this possibly go wrong?  But somehow, they’ve managed to introduce a character who, on his own, is 10x as compelling as Wick, but has about -100% of the chemistry with Raven. Which is???? Some kind of alchemy??? how has that happened? I love Zeke! I love Raven!!! They’re both MAGNETIC on screen. On paper they should be a perfect fit but it’s like whenever they’re in the same scene together I have the sudden urge to check my emails.

And someone, please, just tell me what work Zaven is doing for either of these characters. What’s Raven’s conflict? How does Zeke resolve it? Is it *literally* Raven being presented with a hot dude with a similar skill set? Sorry I’m out.

And before anyone comes at me with the usual packet of whining about how Echo has stolen all of Raven’s screentime, I’d beg you all to remember that there is no law saying that one woman’s time on tv has to be at the expense of another and this is a GIANT SEXIST TRAP DO NOT FALL FOR IT.

Talking of out, Kabby is also circling the drain and [averts eyes from discourse].

But I’m calling Diyoza’s ship name, and if she bangs Kane I hereby pronounce it TEQUILA [whatever Kane’s ship name is, someone hmu].

OK I need to talk about Gaia now before I get shot down by a thunderbolt. The girl creeps me tf out but I SOMEHOW LOVE HER NOW. This is new and unnerving because feverish religious types are not usually my jam ESPECIALLY if they present Clarke’s daughter with a creepy sacred flash drive that they want to insert in her neck, but somehow Tati Gabrielle nails that line, even if my reaction seeing the Flame was exactly the same as my reaction to seeing the worms.

But I believe Gaia’s intentions, while creepy, are pure. And WHO PICKED UP on how fluid her loyalty is? She will serve Blodreina faithfully as long as she reigns. Huh.

In other news McCreary, and more importantly McCreary’s undercut, were absent from this episode I hope they are both enjoying Memori’s couples counselling retreat. I look forward to seeing his glazed expression next week as I cry my Becho tears.