#zevran you are a d o r k

[thecacklingcrow]

I've been looking for a Zevran NSFW alphabet headcanon, but have yet to find one. Could you be persuaded? Thanks :)

i can try! hoogolly ))

A-Z nsfw headcanon for Zevran some of it is sexual, and some of it is just dark themes. TW: for abuse, sexual content yadda yadda. Expect rated X and R stuff. there’s TW for a bit of everything in here. (PS. I know you probably wanted smut but I’m on the letter T now as i write this bit, it just got dark for like 90% of the alphabet... o_o;;)

A is for Ass. Zevran loves to be one, knows he has a good one, and is fond of sinking into them.

B is for Busted. Like that time Isabella's abusive husband walked in on them mid coitus and he had to run naked across the rooftops of Antiva to avoid being shot.

C is for Coy, like the time he played the Coy little house slave afraid of the Duke's attentions. The kill had been easy.

D is for Degradation. The first time he'd found The Bone Pit there had been a man tied in pony gear with a woman riding around the bar on his back. Isabella had been playing cards with a bet of four horseshoes, a lantern, and a small pouch of gunpowder. It was his introduction to BDSM, and also to Isabella. E is for E. Like when he wakes in the night, stiff as he remembers the strap on Isabella had given Rinalla, and how she's used it to drive him mad. She had Picked him up, pitched him to the bed and pounced on him with delighted glee, teasing until his back arched off the blankets and he begged Rinna for more with copper hands tangled into dark wavy hair.

F is for Fingers. Zevran has a love for hands and thinks fingers are some of the most artistic parts of a persons body. Little scars, freckles, where the callouses are. All a little hidden story in the palm of one’s hands.

G is for G spot. He bet his favorite cat as a gift for Rinnala that he could find hers on their first night together. She accepted thinking he'd never find it and he found it when he grazed his teeth just behind her ear. She was pissed until he kissed her cheek during the afterglow and gave her the cat anyway. H is for Hard Times. Like the time Taliesen had come home drunk and smashed a chair over his back while he had been sleeping in a fit, and then punched him clear out of bed before he could recover. Zevran fled to the brothel and traded sex with the owner for a bed to sleep in for a few nights. He didn't come home until Rinalla had returned from her contract in Rialto three days later. I is for Insecurity. He slept with a blade under his pillow after that. J is for Justice as he sank the blade into Taliesen's kidney with the Warden fighting at his side. Both for Rinnala and himself.

K is for Kink. His favorite pleasure is smells. Not body odors, but things like Antivan Leather, frankensence, sandalwood, lilac, food. Things that smell nice are a favored foreplay. And rope.

L is for Loss. He learned at eight years old as he cried quietly over a pair of embroidered gloves, that it's possible to grieve for something you've never had.

M is for Murder. He's used to the death, and has been for a long time.  It’s part of the job as an assassin. But Rinnala's is the one that haunts him to the grave even after Taliesen is long dead. It’s not until he meets Rinalla in old age and the end of life that he can hold her and beg forgiveness, which she gives freely.

N is for Neck. Zevran can count on his hands the amount of times someone has given special attention to his neck and shoulders and it works him up almost every time.

O is for Orgasm. The first time Zevran had one he thought he’d broken something in his body.

P is for Paolo and Prostate. The First time Zevran had heard about it he’d been skeptical that it could possibly make sex feel good due to the odd location. Then along came a Tall elven dancer with dark skin and hair and green eyes at a festival named Paolo. Who had not only Dragged Zevran from the bar to dance, but had charmed him right into the bedroom. Paolo had been so respectful of Zevran’s nerves the whole night through that he’s the only consistent hook up Partner Zevran’s ever had throughout the years. The two became rather close friends and it was only many years later after returning to Antiva that he found out Paolo was the 1st Talon of House Valisti. Once Paolo found out Zevran was the Black Shadow, Paolo actually abdicated leadership to join Zevran in House Arainai and helps Zevran overthrow the other Crow Families. Q is for Quirk. Taliesen insists on keeping cocks on during sex. He never bothered to ask why.

R is for Requirement. The day the Crows had told him he was REQUIRED to do the Seduction training he’d ditched and run for the hills to find the Dalish. He wasn’t ready for sex at the time. When the Dalish told him he was Required to be castrated to be accepted, he ran back to accept the lesser of two evils. S is for Sin, a cup that Zevran readily partakes from. All the same, he keeps a worn wood rosary and asks in a quiet hearted voice to Andraste to forgiven him. The path he walks may not be chosen by him, but the sins are.

T is for Tender. Zevran remembers Paolo’s lips caressing the flesh between his shoulders as Paolo slipped in thick and far warmer than Zevran expected. He remembers being nervous, and Warm arms encompassing him from behind and a quiet whisper asking if he wanted to stop. Zevran had told him keep going and spent the night feeling treasured. Even when he was gasping and tangled in the sheets, only the barest hint of teeth ever grazed his neck and brought him that wonderful release of pressure. He couldn’t help but smile. No one was ‘careful’ with a killer. But Paolo was. The kisses under his eyes and to his fingertips in the afterglow melt his heart into staying all night, and he tucks his head beneath Paolo’s chin and falls asleep with broad fingers petting the fine hairs at the back of his neck.

U is for Underdog. Zevran learned quick that to be an underdog among the Crows was to be dead. To be an underdog, and to not steal enough to eat, and grow too slow, was to be dragged to a back room and assaulted. To be the underdog was to be the perfect bait to lure them to his poisoned daggers when he’s had enough of their shit and leave the room with a cracked rib and a black eye, and three corpses left behind. To be the underdog, you must have the fastest bite, and instead be a Jackal.

V is for Vivid. When he remembers Rinnala’s laughter and smile it is vivid. However the longer he goes without hearing her, he slowly starts to question if he remembers what she actually sounds like.

W is for WANTED. Zevran isn’t sure what’s better, to be wanted or to be needed. He’s also not sure which one he needs more, and which one he actually wants.

X is for Xenophobic. He recalls slapping Talisen in the mouth once for being an ass, and sharply reminding him he’s not even Antivan, so he has no room to bark at the Orlesians.

Y is for Yelling. Which Zevran...usually doesn’t do. He’ll moan and gasp and sigh, or even be entirely silent. But he’s never been one to shout even at the height of pleasure.

Z is naturally, for Zevran.~

[tristinai]

Tagged by @captain-amoruca. Thanks :D

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers, put in yours, and when you are done tag up to ten people and also tag the person who tagged you… And most importantly, have fun!

A - Age: 30 B - Biggest fear: Losing all sense of purpose C - Current time: 10:02 AM D - Drink you last had: Banana-Mango smoothie E - Every day starts with: Me waking up stupidly early and then forcing myself to sleep a few hours longer since I don’t work until the afternoon F - Favorite song: I don’t think I have one. I have been listening to Juniel’s  나쁜 사람 (Bad Boy) a lot lately G - Ghosts, are they real?: No.  H - Hometown: I did most of my growing up in 2 small towns in Canada. Don’t let the stereotypes of Canadians fool you. People are racist/homophobic/sexist as f*** in those places. J - Jealous of: Straight people K - Killed someone: In real life, no. In game, yes. My most recent major kill was throwing Aedan Cousland at the Archdemon and allowing Loghain to live L - Last time you cried: See above. I played my stupidly noble, lawful good Warden stupidly noble to a fault and I spent the whole night crying because of it. Then read Zevran’s epilogue and cried some more M - Middle name: Alexzandra N - Number of siblings: One O - One wish: To seek a career path I find more enjoyable Q - Questions you’re always asked: “Do you eat only vegetables?” R - Reasons to smile: Video games, friends, sleep S - Song last sang:  G-Dragon “Missing You” T - Time you woke up: 6:33 U - Underwear color:  Dark blue V - Vacation destination: Seoul W - Worst habit: Doubting myself to a point where I convince myself not to try X - X-rays you’ve had: Chest Y - Your favorite food: Red bean Z - Zodiac sign: Aries

I’m tagging @mordinette, @starshipdreamr and anyone else that wants to do this :)

[castledvania]

 tagged by @officialjessemcree 

rules: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in your own. when you are done tag up to 10 people….most importantly, have fun!

a / age: 18

b / biggest fear: buried alive or dying without anyone knowing/noticing

c / current time: 9:24

d / drink you had last: white peach yogu time

e / everyday starts with: waking up disoriented and not knowing where i am as if the answer is gonna be anything different 

f / favourite song: right now its in the court of the crimson king 

g / ghosts are real? maybe? but ive never experienced that kinda stuff past the usual paranoia 

h / hometown: i live in north texas thats as specific as i wanna go 

i / in love with: giorno!!!! and gyro! and zevran! 

j / jealous of: its easier to say what im NOT jealous of. 

k / killed someone: you know what. sure. 

l / last time you cried: ??

n / number of siblings: 1

o / one wish: Please God Let Me Transition 

p / person you last called/texted: Tha Group Chat 

q / questions you’re always asked: “what?”, “did you draw that?”

r / reasons to smile: thought of a meme 

s / song last sang: in the court of the crimson KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

t / time you woke up: 6 am every weekday my guy

u / underwear colour: hold on. green 

v / vacation destination: would like to Properly visit nyc

w / worst habit: gritting my teeth, talking to myself Out Loud, wanting to die,

x / xrays you have had: i dont remember

y / your favourite food: raw tuna. just straight up raw tuna. and fried chicken

z / zodiac sign: libra/scorpio cusp

i dont know who to tag also someone is playing mexican music out of their car outside.  ok uh if you see this and you wanna do it then go ahead and say i tagged u lol 

[destinycreate]

Rules: Tag 20 amazing followers you want to get to know better!

Tagged By: @just-another-nerds-little-world o(^◇^)o

Name: Destiny *cough* yes my usn is so orignal ikr *cough*

Nicknames: Des, Dest, Desi (what my fam calls me lol), Desktop (insert deep sigh)

Gender:

Star Sign: Taurus 

Height: 5′5″ / 165cm (?)

Sexual Orientation: pan/bi/something™

Hogwarts House: I would like to know the answer as well ｢(ﾟ<ﾟ)ﾞ??

Favorite Colors: black, white, grey, brown, blue

Favorite animal: All of them as long as they don’t try to eat me ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ

Average hours of sleep: this year (since I’m being homeschooled) 9 or 12 hours, next year (when I go back to school) 6 to 8 hours rip ;-;

Cat or Dog Person: I like them both, but tbh I’m more of a cat person =^~^=

Favorite Fictional Characters: … Are you sure this was a wise question. because im serious when it comes to favorite characters

Anime/Manga:

07 Ghost (haven’t finished yet lol): Teito, Mikage *cries in a corner*, Frau, Hakuren

Pandora Hearts (have also not finished rip): Oz, Gilbert, Elliot *tries to keep a straigth face. fails.*, Sharon, Break, Leo *screams*

D. Gray Man: Allen, Kanda, Lavi (and although Johnny’s not my favorite bless his soul)

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronichle: Syaoran, Tsubasa, Fai, Kurogane

Ajin: Kei, Kai, Kou, Shimomura

Natsume Yuujinchou: Natsume, Nyanko-sensei/Madara, Natori, Tanuma, Hiiragi, Matoba (?)

Tanaka-kun is Always Restless: EVERYONE TBH

Trickster: Kobayashi, Hanasaki

Yuuri On Ice: Yuri, Victore, Phichit, Yurio

91 Days: Avilio, Nero, Corteo

Aoharu x Machinegun: Tachibana, Matsuoka, Yukimura

Blast of Tempest: Yoshino, Hakaze, Mahiro

Blue Excorcist:  Rin, Izumo, Renzou Shima, Konekomaru, Bon, Shura (atm I don’t like Shiemi but I think by the end of it she’ll probs be one of my faves; also imo Yukio is shady af rn so idk)

Evangelion: Shinji, Kaworu

Bus Gamer: Mishiba, Nakajyo, Saitoh

No. 6: Shion, Nezumi

Code Geass: Okay I love Suzaku and Lelouch as much as I hate their guts

Free!: Haru, Makoto, Sousuke

FMA: Ed, Al

Haikyuu: Everyone from Karasuno, Fukurodani, Nekoma, Aoba Johsai, Date Tech, Shiratorizawa

Hamatora: Nice, Murasaki, Art, Ratio, Birthday

Hero Bank: Sekito

Hunter x Hunter: Killua, Kurapika

K: All. of. them.

Kaze no Stigma: Kazuma

Kuroko no Basuke: Kise, Kuroko

Kyo Kara Maoh: Yuuri, Wolfram

Noragami: Yato, Yukine, Hiyori, Kazume

Ouran Highschool Host Club: All the host club members tbh

Parasyte: Shinichi

Danganronpa: Nagito, Makoto, Chiaki, Kirigiri, Hajime/Izuru

Yu-Gi-Oh: Yugi, Yami Yugi, Kaiba, Bakura, Mokuba, Joey/Katsuya, Tristan/Hiroto, Tea/Anzu

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: Jaden (my only fave rip)

Beyblade (original series): Tyson/Takao, Kai, Max, Ray/Rei, Kenny/Kyoujyu/Manabu

Persona 3 Movies: Makoto, Ryuji

Saiyuki: The Entire Main Cast™

Kids on the Slope: Kaoru, Sentarō

Sekai ichi Hatsukoi: Ritsu (if my spiritual animal was a human–)

Tokyo Ghoul(only a third through :re): Kaneki, Hide *groans*

Yu Yu Hakusho: Kuwabara, Hiei, Yusuke, Kurama

Tv:

Voltron (2016-2017): Keith, Lance, Shiro, Pidge, Hunk

Skam (I’ve only watched the 3rd season so far): Isak, Nora, Jonas

Books:

Heroes of Olympus series: Reyna, Jason, Nico di Angelo, Hazel, Frank, Will, Percy, Annabeth, Piper

Children of the Red King: All the Kids™ I love them™ will all my HEART™

Raven Cycle: Who do? I?? not??? love?????

Video Games:

Persona 3: Minato, Ryoji

Persona 4: Souji/Yu, Yosuke, Kanji, Naoto, Nanako

Tales of Versperia: Yuri, Estelle, Flynn

Tales of Graces: Asbel, Richard, Sophie, Pascal, Malik, Hubert, Lambda 

Tales of Xillia/Xillia 2: Jude, Milla, Alvin, Rowan, Leia, Gaius, Elize/Teepo, Ludger Kresnik, Julius Kresnik 

Tales of Zestiria: Mikleo, Sorey, Zaveid, Dezel, Edna, Alisha, the turtlz in that one katz corner quest oh my god too soon namco way too soon

Final Fantasy: (note I’ve only played xv and watched a lets play of crisis core on youtube rip)

Angeal, Zack, Genesis, Sephiroth, Noctis, Luna, Prompto, Ignis, Nyx, Libertus, Regis

The Last Remnant: Rush, David, Emma, Irina

Uncharted: Nathan, Sam, Elena, Sully

Dragon Age: Alistair, Zevran, Leliana, Morigan, Sten, Ohgrin, Fenris, Merril, Avilene, Varric, Cullen, Dorian, Bull, Anders, Solas

DRAMAtical Murder: Aoba, Noize, Ren, Koujaku, Clear, Sei

Togainu no Chi: Akira, Keisuke, Motomi

… I feel like I’m missing some but at the same time I know this is already way too much rip

do i even know the meaning of the number 20 i don’t think i d

Tagging (if i tag you and you don’t want me to in the future let me know rip):

@pepperii , @trussarditonio , @tiredspacecadet , @phanstrash , @messofanotaku , @sociallyawkwardasexual , @dearlybelovedzack , @randomrandomnessofrandom , @riinerei , @vannaluv1321 , @magicsuga , @kanekuja25 , @nheira-vor , @yikes-my-dude , @hesitant-ufo , @magnus-chase-is-bae , @unravelingreality1206 , @dontcallmenubs  , @iprincezzinuyoukai , @yoursenpaisbitch , @showa-sensei

aaand anyone who reads this in passing =) i want to get to know everyone tbh XD

[apurplefairy]

Alphabet Game

Rules - copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in your own. when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person that tagged you….most importantly, have fun!

I was tagged by the lovely @enchantedxrose (who has a super awesome Beauty and the Beast blog btw)

I’m tagging @novamanxp @tiffancytargaryen @onlythepresent and anyone else who wants to do it if you so wish.

a / age - 24 (also known as barely more than a small child in the real world but an aging crone on tumblr)

b / biggest fear - you’re not getting into my secrets that easily

c / current time - past my bedtime

d / drink you had last - who loves orange soda? Kel loves orange soda! apurplefairy thinks it’s aight 

e / everyday starts with - considering I’m a spoonie, my day usually starts with my inflamed joints aching and trying to guess how long it will take until I’m able to move so I can finally pee

f / favourite song - Beauty and the Beast as sung by our Queen Angela Lansbury. Fight me about it

g / ghosts are real? - idk but once when I was a teenager my cousin and I saw what looked like a ghost on the beach and the bitch ran away without me, taking the only flashlight with her. 

h / hometown - I’m originally from Maryland. Try our crabs. 

i / in love with - the love of my life and my sun and stars @novamanxp... also Zevran... and Garrus... Margaery Tyrell, Captain Hook from OUAT, Jason Momoa’s chest, Emma Watson, and frankly myself because SELF LOVE IS IMPORTANT.

j / jealous of - people who can eat dairy without their stomachs throwing a tantrum

k / killed someone - who’s asking...

 (right after I wrote this I looked at my boyfriend and said he had a nice face and he responded “are you gonna rip it off and wear it... you murderer.”)

l / last time you cried- I wanted some shrimp really bad on my period and things just escalated from there

m / middle name - Nickole (yes, my mother misspelled it. she also started a trend of misspelling all of her later children’s middle names so she could cover her own ass and pretend she was doing it on purpose all along. I am not kidding)

n / number of siblings - I have 6 younger siblings. That’s a lot of misspelled names. 

o / one wish - have you seen the state of the world today? where do I fucking begin...

p / person you last called/texted - my grandma. she was upset that I’m too sick to travel for my dad’s birthday party. In true guilting grandma fashion she sent me pictures of herself so I would know what she looks like. Again, I am not kidding. 

q / questions you’re always asked - I’m sure all spoonies can relate to this: “Are you feeling better yet??”

r / reasons to smile - cute animals, Beauty and the Beast, and genuinely kind people who remind you there’s still good in the world.

s / song last sang -  Serenading my boyfriend by screeching the chorus of “I Touch Myself” because I’m ROMANTIC LIKE THAT

t / time you woke up - i can barely register that I’m a living human when I wake up let alone what time it is

u / underwear color - you should buy me dinner first (shrimp is always an excellent option)

v / vacation destination - a lot of places other than my country are looking REAL good right now

w / worst habit - eating dairy because CHEESECAKE IS GOOD AND I’M NOT LETTING GO OF LOVE THAT EASILY

x / xrays you have had -it would be easier to ask what xrays I haven’t had

y / your favourite food - shrimp. cheesecake. tiramisu. salmon. the blood of my enemies. i like to shake it up.

z / zodiac sign - Aries (before you ask, yes I do like to ram ;) ... my fist into the faces of people who ask me creepy questions)

Love you guys!!

[a-short-terror]

i was tagged by my wife @protegoparacosm to do one of the Things so here we go

A) Age: 19 B) Biggest Fears: like,,,,,everything ever C) Current Time: 12:29am D) Last Drink I Had: monster E) Every Day Starts With: complaining because I have to go to work F) Favorite Song At The Moment: ghost by sir sly G) Gayest Moment I Ever Had: the time I made out with a girl at a party in front of her bf bc he was too scared to was prolly my fav but there’s a huge list so,,,, H) Home Town: gowanda I) In Love With: zevran arainai J) Jealous: I don’t know what this is asking but probably K) Killed Someone: also probably L) Last Time I Cried: I stubbed my toe last week and yeah M) Middle Name: you’ll have to pry that from my cold dead hands N) Number of Siblings: 1, maybe 2 depends O) One Wish: financial security would be nice P) Person You Last Called/Texted: amanda Q) Question You’re Always Asked: “what color is your hair” R) Reason To Smile: I get paid on fridays S) Last Song Sung: take on me T) Time You Woke Up: like 11 probably U) Worst Habit: chewing my nails V) X-Ray You’ve Had: hands wrists and leg W) Your Favorite Food: buffalo wings X) Zodiac Sign: sagittarius ♐

Anyone who wants to do it can but uh @supergogeta @trash-4-trash-son @kirstenk080 @valueyourlifeovermine

[iwillnotjuggle-blog]

tagged by: @embrace-tranquility

rules:  copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

a - age: 21. b - biggest fear: Birds. c - current time: 22:31. d - drink you last had: Coffee with milk. e - every day starts with: Hugging the pillow and burying my face in it. f - favorite song: It takes a fool to remain sane - The Ark. g - ghosts, are they real: No. h - hometown: Gothenburg. i - in love with: Zevran and my other boyfriend. j - jealous of: Cis people (sad but true). k - killed someone: No. l - last time you cried: A few days ago m - middle name: Erik Cornelius. n - number of siblings: None. o - one wish: To become the man I always wanted to be. p - person you last called/texted: My boyfriend (if chatting counts). q - question(s) you’re always asked: "So... you are a boy?” No I am an enigma wtf! r - reasons to smile: My gorgeous self in the mirror... okay honestly my dad. s - song last sang: Tell me this night is over - The Ark t - time you woke up: 11:11 am. u - underwear color: Black. v - vacation destination: Tokyo (going there probably in October). w - worst habit: Overthinking everything. x - x-rays you’ve had: On my teeth several times as a teenager. y - your favorite food: Miso Ramen. z - zodiac sign: Cancer (on the world xD ).

I’m tagging: @nihon-bunny @saranghaedva

[cloudmonstachopper]

biiig chiimquisitor update!

With a few cameos about my warden, Cloudy (and maybe about my champion Mishka too)

Leliana says something about Briala having had a past with Celenne and Chiim is basically like DIRTY COURT GOSSIP???? TELL ME MORE shameless

When asked who to bring along, it basically went like this: I can’t NOT take Vivienne to a BALL please!! And Dorian? Oh, he’ll love it! He deserves a treat anyways, I’ve dragged him through such “dreadful” areas. And Varric! He’ll be sure to wind some fun tales from the evening.

Chiim in formal clothes was amazing. But like. Vivienne trying to wrestle them into it. Dorian dying of laughter on the couch in the background. Chiim: WHY IS THIS JUST A SEVEN FOOT LENGTH OF BLUE FABRIC. WHAT DO I DO WITH IT. IS IT TO TIE UP MY ENEMIES? Vivienne: nO INQUISITOR THAT IS YOUR SASH AND CUMBERBUND M A K E R PLS They manage to finally get Chiim into the tunic. But they weren’t having it with the pants, Chiim won the battle and got to wear thigh-high travel-worn boots with like. Kneepads. Amazing. Truly a LookTM. Chiim fashion at its finest.

Josie: Before you enter the ballroom... you EVERY WORD AND ACTION WILL BE JUDGED SO YOU’D BEST BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR Chiim: sooo no jumping on the furniture like a goat then, I take it? Josie: *nearly has a stroke* please don’t

Empress: We look forward to watching you dance Chiim: *internally* “we look forward to watching you dance” yeah they just wanna be assholes and see how in the wooooorld someone dances with such ‘heavy monstrosities’ on their head hAVE THEY EVEN SEEN THEIR OWN HATS y’all just racist assholes what a pile of pricks Chiim: A pleasure. If you’ll excuse me *bows gracefully and scuttles away*

Chiim: So, Yvette, any FUN STORIES ABOUT JOSIE???? *nearly bouncing up and down in excitement* Yvette: oh, there was that time when we were ten- Josie: NO Yvette: or how about that time you accidentally melted- Josie: STOP Yvette: or that time you spilt sauce all over- Josie: YveTTE Yvette: she still plays with her dolls when no one’s looking!! Josie: *covering yvette’s mouth and laughing* I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT

Apparently full white masks were used in orlesian theater for roles with no clear gender. I mean I know they’re talking about spirits. But. I’m just saying. If Chiim had an orlesian mask, it would be a full white one.

Chiim: oh look, cullen is surrounded by ladies. Ladies: would you like a drink? a dance? Cullen: No thank you, I’m not thirsty. Chiim: and he has no idea they’re flirting with him in the SLIGHTEST. I’d best go save him.

Chiim: *wandering the balconies* an awful lot of drinks and bottles scattered around on this table for an empty balcony... hrm... I SUSPECT A MEETING HAS OCCURRED HERE it later turned out that’s where gaspard hangs out so he probs met with florianne there

Chiim: these elvhen servants are literally leaving blood tracks behind I mean seriously????? even I can tell???? I thought the game was supposed to be subtle

Dorian: *reminiscing about tevinter balls* It’s lacking only a few sacrificial slaves and some blood magic! But the night IS young Chiim: *just raises eyebrow* Dorian: ooh, but you ought to dance with me before we go Chiim: *is SO OVER IT bc still reeling from WOW ORLESIAN ASSHOLES* hm Dorian: *cajoles* Chiim: okay, m a y b e Dorian: you sure you don’t want to dance with the evil magister? it’d certainly be s h o c k i n g~ Chiim: mmm tempting Dorian: if you could find me ten silk scarves I’ve got a dance that would REALLY shock them *wink wonk* Chiim: good thing I’m a rogue and every lady is wearing twenty-seven then, I’ll be back in a jiffy ;D

Chiim: psssst dorian, distract everybody in this courtyard while I climb this terrace! Dorian: that’ll need to be quite a big distraction then, to pry everyone away from the qunari inquisitor, IN dress clothes, climbing a terrace during the great ball NOT TO MENTION providing everyone with a great view of dat ass Chiim: so? Dorian: already on it dear

Leliana’s obsession with shoes is very intelligent and I love her. In other news: !!!!!! M O R R I G A N AHHHHHH

Chiim: *is impatient and jumps on a couch to reach some incriminating papers on the table* Courtiers: ooh that inquisitor, he must have some sort of... strength to make up for his BOORISH manners *loses a point of approval* Chiim: Josie’s gonna kill me

Chiim plays the politics game, does really nice. Back at the keep everyone is like !!! wow, I was really impressed!! I didn’t know you could pull that off???? Chiim: heh, yeah, Dorian and Vivienne and Leliana coached me in niceties and playacting (and Leliana in some added ShenanigansTM) Josie: AND YOU STILL JUMPED ON THE FURNITURE Chiim: *deadpan* you can take the ox outta the qunari, but you can’t take the gOAT OUTTA THE CHIIMQUISITOR *runs* Josie: *proceeds to ream chiimquisitor out for approx. 2hr*

Florianne: do you know who can be trusted? Chiim, a person who naturally trusts almost everyone and is weak to growing attached to people: *lies through their teeth* if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to trust no one

At the ball, and Josie’s all “ohooo! You’ll be the talk of the court for months! We should take you dancing more often!” Chiim: clearly she hasn’t heard about my furniture jumping escapades yet

“Are we going to sneak around the empress’ unmentionables NOW? haha, just how drunk are you, boss?” Varric has officially adopted the Chiimquisitor #CONFIRMED

Chiim: *hears screams for help in the next room* Chiim: *busts into next room, finds harlequin assassin about to take out an elf* Chiim: *just straight up KICKS THE HARLEQUIN OUT THE WINDOW NBD* Chiim: Are you okay? Sorry bout that, my protection instincts kicked in and I just... well. I did say they *kicked* in. Heh. Heheheheh. Varric: Andraste’s bloomers but that was a bad one

Chiim: *fucks things up and talks to morrigan and feels SLIGHTLY better bc liason but also fucked up things for the elves* Dorian: *side-eyes morrigan SO HARD as he walks in WHO IS FLIRTING WITH HIS CHIIMQUISITOR N O W GDI* Dorian: so you charmed the dowager and she wants to marry you to one of her daughters. Told her you’d already left Chiim: (oh thank god) Dorian: You can thank me later. Or now. But you look lost in thought. Something on your mind? Chiim: I fucked up, Dorian. I fucked up bad and now I’m sad but I’ve made the best of a shitty situation. *hunches in on themselves, sighs* Dorian: clearly you need to be distracted. Let’s dance? Chiim: *isn’t a dancer, is so OVER dancing, and the game, and all this shit, but... maybe it’s what they need, and they’ll give it a shot... for Dorian* Chiim: *looks up and tries a smile* I thought you’d never ask.

Chiim gets back to skyhold and IMMEDIATELY mother giselle is all up in everybody’s business and like INQUISITOR CAN I HAVE A MOMENT Chiim, internally: LET ME MOURN MY FUCKUP. LET ME MOURN IT IN PEACE. Chiim: *sighs and puts on a placating smile and tone* How can I help you, revered mother? ... Josie: yes, and we’ll take care of it LATER right now give the Chiimquisitor a BREAK Chiim: bless u, josie. b l e s s y o u

Chiim immediately bonds greatly with Morrigan, mostly over talking about her son. Chiim likes her son. Morrigan is a bit cagey about him, but also likes to talk about him. She’s a proud mother.

(Fun fact: Keiran is probs also trans because Cloudy is dfab and had babbu with Morrigan which means SHENANIGANS were at play and what I’m saying here is that Keiran takes after his trans father) (Speaking of Cloudy shenanigans, he and Zevran have a daughter. She is very cute. During the pregnancy Cloudy refused to see anyone and they disappeared off the map for about 9 months. But afterwards Cloudy comes back and is like !!!!! LOOK AT THIS SMOL!!! I MADE HER!! Zevran helped I guess WOW SHE’S SO CUTE AND GREAT AND SMART) (she grows up to be an absolute terror. Daughter of the warden commander and the leader of the antivan crows, daughter of TWO rogues, one of whom doubles as an assassin? oh pranks and things going missing FOR D A Y S ON END shenanigans never stop) (I have a lot more hcs and things about Cloudy & Zevran’s child - who has a ~mysterious~ older half-brother in keiran - but this is a chiimquisitor post so we continue with the chiimquisition) (sidebar mishka and anders don’t have any kids of their own but they totally adopt like every single child, dog, and cat that comes anywhere near them, their house is super big and always crazy and it’s fantastic; there’s also a chicken. The kids named the chicken cupcake. Main suspects for the chicken’s origin is Aunt Merrill but there have been no confirmations.)

Chiim: Will his... father, be joining us as well? Morrigan: *thinks about cloudy gallivanting off with zevran for a cure to the calling* tis... most unlikely (At that point in time, Cloudy was also experiencing the feeling of the fake calling, but was pregnant with daughter, and just blamed it on the hormones. And Zevran, of course, being neither a warden nor someone who experiences the monthly upheaval that is periods let ALONE pregnancy, just takes his word for it. Sigrun acts as their cover story, telling everyone’ they’re off investigating the calling. Totally works.) (There’s a reason Cloudy’s letter to the inquisition basically read “sounds cool but not my fight have fun I’ll vaguely support from a distance”)

Josie: so. Uh. After the events at the grand ball, apparently Florianne’s trade routes got all tied up, so they sent her over for... judgement. Chiim: Are you SERIOUS??? She’s dead! Box: *flies buzz* Josie: ...and that was the time allotted for a rebuttal. There is- forgive me. *coughs* there is... an odor. Chiim: *clears throat* WHAT FRESH LEVEL OF BULLSHITTERY Chiim: anyways I guess there’s a precedence for this so let’s just send the routes back to them aND GET RID OF THAT BOX (Chiim has clearly been spending Way Too Much time in the library with Dorian if they know about this rANDOMASS PRECEDENCE)

Chiim: I’m worried about my gardening buddy, Blackwall. Josie: Oh? Why’s that? Chiim: he took me out for drinks and then told me about how a dog was killed in his childhood and he didn’t do anything about it???? and then he got weirdly quiet and just left???? like Blackwall. What. The fuck????? Josie: that is strange Chiim: he left a letter on his rockinggriffon. I’m gonna track him down. Josie: please do. I worry about him sometimes.

(side note: if blackwall ever finishes that rockinggriffon it can be a baby shower gift for Cloudy & Zevran and their new bundle of joy heh)

Cassandra: blah blah divine I don’t know what to do but I know what i SHOULD do Chiim: hold up, if neither of you are priestesses and you can be divine, why can’t I be the divine? Cassandra: Well, you’re a man, for one. Plus I think they’re afraid of you. Chiim: Cassandra. My dear. It was a joke. I’m an atheist, tal-vashoth qunari. You couldn’t PAY me enough to be the divine.

(In all honesty though Chiim would have made for a fantastic scout, like WHO decided Chiim ought to be in charge of Politics and all these Important Things???? Cassandra why are we letting u make these decisions)

Sera: Ugh, that place. Should have thrown in some bees and slammed the door. Chiim: I dunno, seems more like a job for earwigs to me. Sera: Y E S

Chiim: *hanging out on the roof* Hey, Sera, what do you think of Dorian? Sera: You’re having it off with him, you don’t need me talking. (But I do anyway ;D) Chiim: *laughs* more than one thing is having off when I’m with him, harr harr Sera: Ew, gross! *laughs and happily bumps shoulders with Chiim*

So you know how elfroot has been lore/meta confirmed for being a recreational drug? And you know how it’s confirmed that the inquisitor has a strange obsession with it? Yeah, well only those in the inner circle know how laughable it is that Chiim indulges in the stuff: the only indulging happening here is haPPY GARDENING. heh.

Chiim: *talks to solas, mentions how much they’re torn up about briala* Solas: ... what? why do I care? oooh the elf thing, yeah, I don’t think of myself as an elf so... Chiim: I try to have a moment, why do i even try, it’s SOLAS, he’s a shitbag...

Chiim: What’s your thoughts on elvhen culture? Solas: ... ask Sera, she’s got... opinions. Chiim: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS SERA BASHING YOU RUDEASS SHITHOLE Solas: sorry. I’m just... jealous. Sorry. Chiim: damn right.

ps when Chiim was first learning to be an assassin 100% they would stealth, sneak up behind unsuspecting companions, stab them in the ankle with a butter knife and yell “I STAB U IN THE LEG AND ABSCOND” and laugh hysterically as they run away Dorian is just standing there like “did u just poke me with your fingernail??”

Vivienne wants the heart of this wyvern, and won’t tell Chiim what for... Chiim is slightly suspicious, but is gonna do it anyways. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here like THIS BETTER NOT BE AN ANDERS BETRAYAL AGAIN DOn’T YOU DO THAT TO ME VIVIENNE

Dorian: and now you’ve got an empress eating out of your hand, makes for a perfect mental image Chiim: (dorian what are you thinking??? is this a kink thing????) Dorian: all this dancing, murder, politics, almost makes me a bit homesick Chiim: so we should do that kind of thing again? Dorian: watch as you twist an entire empire around your little finger? *bedroom voice* ABSOLUTELY. Chiim: so it.... IS a kink thing??? I don’t get it, but ok. ... Chiim: wanna makeout against this dragon statue over here? Dorian: sure, I’m down Chiim: nice

[onewingedangels]

Last time I made a follow forever was back in 2018, and now it feels like it’s been a decade ago and I’m also bad at speeches and might sound like I make one like I’m at the dinner party or something, so please hang in there for me: I’m sure all of you know 2020 was the worst year for lots of us and just wanted it to end as soon as possible, but there were some good moments and they were still something especially on here. I wanted to say thank you to all my followers, mutuals and good old friends who puts up with my dumb stuff that I, ngl, regret sometimes and still keeps following me. I’m grateful for every one of you for making my dashboard filled with amazing content, for every reply and like on my posts and every message you send me! And I wanted to say thank you to other content creators and sideblogs that I follow and makes this hellsite a much better place. Happy New Year everyone, and I hope 2021 will treat us much better! ✨💕✨ 💕✨

A, B, C: @assassiyun, @atlasfontaine, @adlersadie, @astreium, @asolitaryrose, @abbyandersn, @abbystanaccount, @animusrox, @artaeumz, @artyoms, @aheartfulloflexa, @authenticnostromo, @antoncastillo, @anogatherose, @aislingsturbridge, @abelas, @apocalypsekid, @ac-edits, @adaryc, @airsbender, @ascendantrealm, @aprlryan, @abigailmarstons, @aloyssobek, @ae0n, @alkiebiades, @azoths, @bg3, @breathstill, @beaufjords, @bogbath, @bechloehuh, @brickfckingmaster, @billeilurk, @bioshvckd, @brujah, @baronyvampire, @bloatedclicker, @bigbywlf, @baldursgatetwo, @bolina, @beskar, @boozerman, @bamf, @bvckybvnes, @bethesdas, @bvlthiers, @chloefrazer, @cyberpunkedd, @chalamets, @chloefrxzer, @callthedarknessdown, @croffty, @ciriofcintras, @clvsterfvcks, @crownkilling, @cirilafiona, @catradorea, @connorknway, @chloenadine, @celestialade

D, E, F: @dailyhorizon, @dailymilesmorales, @dailyrdr, @dc, @dindjvrins, @dykejackles, @delsinsrowes, @dailygaming, @dovahqun, @dailybayonetta, @dalishgirlfriend, @dailyvideogames, @dreadwollf, @deadly-flourish, @eivorwolfsmal, @engferth, @eviefrve, @ellievilliams, @elliewiliams, @eivorswolfkissed, @emerentis, @eisner, @ellie-s-machete, @elenafisher, @ewyy, @emilykldwins, @enobariah, @finalfantasydaily, @finalfantasy7, @ferrnn, @for-jill, @for-the-freaks-and-geeks, @fairytalespond, @femsheped, @fearrtoxin, @furiroad, @fourthchairmans

G, H, I: @glassrunner, @gamingnetwork, @gamingladies, @geralttofriivia, @gaminginsanity, @gaybarbarian, @harmony,  @harry-lloyds, @higgmonaghan, @haloinfinite, @hzds, @holst, @higgsmonaghn, @halfwayriight, @hwoaarang, @hien-rijins, @heywizards, @hhirakos, @harrysflynn, @houndpitspub, @iures, @iokoye, @irinaz, @ilikedetectives

J, K, L: @jidai, @julicnbaker, @jennyofvengerberg,  @jokerondeck, @jillvalantine, @jonswno, @jillvalentine, @katnissism, @kirkwallshero, @lapislazuliblue, @ladywolfsmal, @ladyinquisitor, @leonkenedy, @lunastres, @lilientrish, @lmontyy, @lockhvrts, @lockescoles, @lostheavns, @lxdymaria, @lionettbeau, @lesbianfang, @lesbian-croft

M, N, O: @miyku, @mistress-light, @mikaeled, @magistera, @mafia2, @missclayton, @mothinked, @massaffects, @marcosllorente, @mermage, @martelldoran, @marqotrobbie, @noonvvraith, @nicolehaaught, @nebellous, @naughtydogsource, @nathanprescutt, @nathaniel-sewell, @onlyhuman, @orallech, @ohvergil

P, Q, R: @primaryass, @placeofmemory, @psychosquads, @princessguardd, @preciousgyro, @residentevil2remake, @reapers, @raccoonscity,  @rainofbrasspetalss, @renosinclairs, @renegon, @rxkuyo, @rachel-grey, @runicmagitek, @roughstool, @rannochs, @rubyhellneon, @radioactive-synth

S,T, U: @secrettoupeecollector, @saltybatman, @sexualsportswear, @sarahlyons, @solidsmax, @simplythebiest, @shadowhrts, @sisterlelianas, @silentsockfeet, @shrimpnest, @smolsawyer, @spaceswifty, @sapphogivemestrength, @skyclaad, @shaxxs, @shadowofcroft, @sephirothism, @sqectre, @skorri, @silverelite, @sonyablde, @somethingtofightfor, @stonemasons, @sararyder, @shakkuris, @sighborgs, @taliatate, @tifaslockharts, @transcrypto, @tonysstark, @tlstofus, @troybaker, @thebotjock, @thequantumranger, @thelvadams, @tobiasrieper, @theyshouldbeterrified, @tloudaily, @tloutwos, @ticktickclick, @tissaia-de-vries, @tifa-lockhartss, @tsonishepard, @toxtricitys, @userjen

V, W, X, Y, Z: @villainii, @vindicia, @vakariaan, @videogamewomen, @vokulin, @wittyeagle, @winterswake, @weaslysron, @wvlfenstein, @wintersongstress, @whiterubys, @wakethefuckup-samurai, @waterdeep, @wrenhavenriver, @wolfabby, @yiayia, @yennefur, @yeezytop, @zevrans, @zeroth, @zackfcir, @zacksfairs

*if I missed anyone on here, I’m really sorry :’D (tumblr is glitching too)

[unforsworn-archive-blog]

“i know you, but you don’t know me ~." [ aka zev bein the dumb est of them all. ]

masquerade || post && askbox.

    —  ❝ ...YOU’RE JOKING, right? Please tell me you’re joking.                             ...Zevran, you might have a mask on, but that doesn’t hide that                               ridiculously recognizable Antivan accent. ❞