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How I sleep knowing there’s something wrong with me

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Pretty nails ^__^

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How did you become that girl? Like what are your daily habits & routines?

That Girl Guide: Step by Step

Hey boo! This is a great question. When I first started, there’s was no such thing as “that girl”.

In fact, I was very much so isolated when I made the conscious decision to level up in all aspects of my mind, body and spirit. I was called “all that”, “bougie”, and implied that I’m upgrading for a man’s attention…

Ew. As if it doesn’t come regardless. Anywho.

My friends were more worried about being that man’s girl, while I was more focused on being that bomb ass woman. It was very lonely and a lot of trial and error.

My journey began with journaling. Crying over my notebook during bad days. Reflecting on situations that keep happening in my life. Then, it developed into gratitude and determination, which is solidified by my discipline. I did this all in composition notebooks.

I was always a child who had a diary. So, I tapped into my inner child and made a big girl diary, that ended up becoming my “That Girl” Guide & Reference Template.

Allow me to break it down:

I am a huge advocate for doodling your intent on your notebook cover, whether it’s the inside or out. Let that be your reminder for how far you’ve come and how far you’re about to go.

1) Shadow Work

I went deep. Generational curses. My own toxic traits. I needed to identify my starting point, along with what parts of me are soon to be trash.

I also had to draft what I would like to see in myself, along with what I want to achieve. Both short and long term.

These tough conversations hurt, but I’ve also felt the pain of hitting emotional, physical, financial and spiritual rock bottom so I picked my poison.

2) Imagination

Now that the super serious stuff is out the way, I used my imagination to envision my dream self. That girl.

What did she look like. Her hair? Her friend group(s)? Where does she work? What’s her personality like? Does she have any guilty pleasures? Did she go to college? Did she finish? What did she do instead after high school? What is she doing right now? What are her favorite memories ten years from now?

Create a story in your head. In fact, create a few. The story of you purchasing your first condo. Your first car. Your first VIP Coachella experience. Your milestone birthday party.

With each moodboard, I wrote a few affirmations that align with what I desire.

I have homes in multiple countries

That’s what I ultimately want. I want to play interior designer. I want to travel as a lifestyle, and eventually with age I prioritize my privacy and security, and most importantly guaranteed peace.

I encourage everyone reading this to think a bit broader than you usually would.

Here are a few starters for affirmations:

4) Blueprint

This is what I go back to when I feel off track, lost or even unmotivated. I think of what I currently do that that makes me feel uncomfortable, forced, uneasy, unhealthy and sometimes taken advantage of.

Following, I think the opposite direction and decide what I want to replace that with. For example, I no longer want to sell myself short and instead I will go as far as doubling my worth.

How will I double my worth?

In order to double my worth, I will…

See how that works?

Have a dialogue with yourself. Interview interrogate yourself. Get the details. Point out what doesn’t align with what you’re affirming. Question your intent.

Just remember, this is a journey. You’re suppose to get off track a bit. Not only do you learn, you also have the opportunity to find other joys to add to your journey.

As far as my routines, I am currently more focused on wellness and school/passion projects so I make sure my routines provide relevant inspiration, or at least release some stress. That includes:

Yoga in the AM/ Meditating to YT healing sounds

Fill water bottle with lemon & chia seeds before bed so it’s nice and jiggly

Sunday cleaning connecting with my spirit guides every week starting no later than 7AM(non negotiable cause I am capital L Lazy)

Regularly get hair and nails done in luxury settings

Make love to my skin via skincare (Korean skincare best works for me and I work with my dermatologist)

My habits include:

Track my cycle and align my diet (and when I drink raspberry tea) with the phases of my cycle

Do light housework before cooking breakfast or leaving the house/ Immediately sweep once I’m up and out the bathroom in the AM

Journaling after I read a few chapters of the book I’m reading as a way to retain what I’ve learned

Do You Want “That Girl” Blank Templates?

40 Shadow Work Prompts

Blank Looseleaf Notebook Templates

3 Notebook Cover Options

Manifestation Worksheets

GoodNotes Compatible

I might upload it on Etsy one day, but if anyone wants it now please do the following:

Send $7 to $TufaniTalks with your email in the “For” section. Remember babes, I’m not a robot, so please give me 23 hours and 59 minutes exactly before accusing me of scamming you for a Bacon, Egg & Cheese with an Arizona, having to come out of pocket for the bag to carry it.

Send me a message on Tumblr. It’ll help me be able to communicate a confirmation when I sent the templates to your email.

This was super heartwarming. My biggest advice is utilize YouTube, Tumblr, Pinterest and IG reels (I’ve found some bomb micro influencers who help encourage me to be that girl even when I’m not being “productive”)

Until next time 💋

Tip Tufani’s New Titty Fund

$TufaniTalks

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Diaryofanaspiringhotgirl.tumblr.com

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Getting myself together

If you want to be ATTRACTIVE you can be.

-Get up early. Set your alarm and stretch first thing. Then go make some tea.

-Get dressed, do light makeup & go for a walk (Always look your best even if it’s light makeup & your hair is in a ponytail).

-Work out. Even though you don’t want to! Do you think anybody wants to at first? No. How do they get results? Discipline.

-Check off a calendar to feel accomplished after u do these things every day (with a rest day in between. Even then, stay active just go easier—walk).

-Do a face mask 2X a week at the end of the day. Put teabags on eyes to reduce puffiness. Moisturize and use gua sha roller to massage face.

-Sleep to binaural beats music for deep sleep

If you want to be SMART you can be.

-Read portions of a book mindfully and try to retain that information.

-Try to finish 1 book every 2 weeks. The library is your friend.

-Do a crossword in the local newspaper

If you want to be STRONG you can be.

-STOP giving into your emotions & being at their mercy.

-Do you feel sad? Well cry it out, comfort yourself & then get right back to doing whatever you need to further your goals.

-Don’t be an open book. Even if you don’t feel well nobody on the outside needs to know. Don’t give away your secrets. Only ask for help from appropriate people.

If you want to be FRIENDLY & PERSONABLE you can be.

-What would you do if you were drunk/ not overthinking it?

-How others react to you is none of your business. Don’t let them determine your worth/ mood.

-Compliment strangers. Ask for directions. This can lead to small talk.

-Mirror people subtly. Add on to the conversation by asking questions. Wait until the other person is done speaking no matter how badly you want to get a word in.

-Get approached by always looking put together & nice. Even if you’re not, fool them on the outside.

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Just know #BLM when u follow me

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Need some “i only want you “ energy

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Don’t just get money, turn it into more money.

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🤓😬

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Racist Clothing Brands + Black Brands to Buy From Instead:

                                         Racist Brands

Chanel

Chanel has been repeatedly accused of racially profiling Black customers and last year they hired a white woman as head of their “diversity and inclusion” department.

Gucci

Gucci has a complicated history with the Black community, stemming from them all but trying to destroy Dapper Dan’s business only to hire him two decades later. Most recently they came under fire for releasing a sweater that had suspiciously Blackface elements and stealing designs from Black designers.

Prada

Prada has a similar history and they recently had to apologize after releasing a collection of monkey key chains.

Dior

Dior’s most recent fragrance campaign came under fire for racist undertones but a Black Hollywood stylist also gave BET.com an account of an incident that she had with a brand. The stylist requests to remain anonymous says, “they compromised our creative relationship by not following through on requests and instead loaning looks that were promised to me to white actors instead.”

Celine

Celine’s branding is notoriously extremely thin and extremely white. A quick scroll of their social media will reveal exactly their opinion on Black lives.

Barney’s 

Before going bankrupt, Barney’s had to pay out a settlement in a racial discrimination case of $525k to two plantiffs. 

Moda Operandi

A former employee of the company released this thread on Moda Operandi, citing several micro aggressions she suffered there. 

Burberry

Burberry issued an apology after releasing a sweater featuring a noose motif.

Tommy Hilfiger

In 1996, Tommy Hilfiger famously made comments against the Black community and has since clarified what he meant, but the hurt in the community lingers. 

Moschino 

Managers discriminated against black customers who did not appear to be rich or famous.

“If a potential black client was not a celebrity and did not have an outward appearance of money via diamonds or name brands, defendant [Ranna] Selbak called them a ‘Serena’ to other sales associates and wanted the ‘Serena’ to be closely watched,” according to the complaint.

Versace

A former male Versace employee sued Versace for allegedly firing him after his manager realized he was Black.

Zara

Zara was accused of using racial code words for black and Latinx customers. The Center for Popular Democracy surveyed 251 Zara employees in New York City about the retailer’s practices. Poll respondents said that when the term “special order” was used at the store, employees were to find the location of the shoppers in question and follow them around. Black customers were most often described as “special orders,” according to the survey results.

Reformation 

They were criticised for their internal practices by a black former employee, Elle Santiago. Santiago said she was denied work promotions in favor of white colleagues, as well as being ignored by the company founder, Yael Aflalo, because of her race.

“Being overlooked and undervalued as a woman of color who worked and managed their flagship store for three years was the hardest,” Santiago wrote in an Instagram post picked up by industry watchdog Diet Prada. “I cried many times knowing [that] the color of my skin would get me nowhere in the company.” 

Urban Outfitters

“As one of very few PoC [people of color] I quickly noticed the toxic environment I’d joined,” says the former employee, who wishes to remain anonymous. “Within my first month my manager made a flippant racist comment in regards to an Uber I’d called; the driver’s name was Muhammad. Her comment was, ‘You would get a Muhammad’ – in what I can only take as a comment made because of my heritage.

“There’s no PoC in the executive team and very little representation of PoC in head office, on the website, marketing campaigns and within the retail management teams.”

The company has a history of producing offensive items of clothing, including a seemingly blood-spattered T-shirt seen as a reference to the 1970 Kent State shootings; a T-shirt in a color named “Obama/Black”; another featuring a six-pointed badge, which seemed to allude to the Star of David badge that Jewish people were forced to wear during the Holocaust; and a racially insensitive Navajo line which used the Navajo nation name illegally.

Dolce & Gabbana

Ads, featured a Chinese woman struggling to eat spaghetti and pizza with chopsticks.

Comme des Garçons

White models wore wigs of traditional Black people’s hairstyles during its men’s autumn/winter 2020 show.

                                             BLACK BRANDS

ASATA MAISE

This designer transforms vintage fabrics into unique pieces that are made to be photographed. I mean, this whole slideshow of looks is A-R-T. Of course, being a one-person business can be overwhelming, so if you have the means, you can donate to Asata’s GoFundMe which will provide her with equipment to keep up with demand.

Website: asatamaise.com

MIE

If dreamy, flowy dresses are up your alley, you definitely want to give this brand a follow. All the pretty pieces, including this stunning red puff-sleeve number, are made by local seamstresses and artisans in Lagos, Nigeria where it’s based.

Website: mie.ng

JBD Apparel

Kim Kardashian recently gave this brand a shoutout, and it’s easy to see why she’s a fan of these body-hugging knit sets. All the pieces are handmade to order.

Website: jbdapparel.com

PHLEMUNS

Another celeb fave is this gender-neutral brand designed by James Flemons and based out in Los Angeles. Solange Knowles, Lizzo, Billie Eilish, Clairo, Lil Nas X, Miley Cyrus, and Bella Hadid have all worn its designs.

Website: phlemuns.com

RIOT SWIM

Looking for a truly standout swimwear piece to add to your summer wardrobe? Check out this label designed by Monti Landers featuring minimalistic silhouettes and shades that blend in seamlessly with darker skin tones.

Website: riotswim.com

COME BACK AS A FLOWER 

Specializing in hand-dyed garments, the pieces are ethically made using 100 percent recycled cotton. It also does drops of cool vintage tees, and stars like ASAP Rocky and Big Sean have worn its clothes.

Website: cbaaf.org

HUMANS BEFORE HANDLES 

This jewelry label has some of the cutest accessories for summer (eyeing these seashell ones, wow), and most impressive is the fact that everything is under $50.

Website: humansbeforehandles.com

LAQUAN SMITH

Here’s a real celeb fave (Rihanna, Beyoncé, and sooo many more have worn his pieces). Go to LaQuan Smith for any of your glam/sexy outfit needs, please! 

Website: laquansmith.com

BROTHER VELLIES

Founder Aurora James creates truly one-of-a-kind shoes (please look at this pair of mesh boots topped with feathers) and small leather goods that are handmade by artisans around the world.

Website: brothervellies.com

CUSHNIE

Designer Carly Cushnie’s sleek styles have been worn by the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Graham, and Lupita Nyong’o, btw.

Website: cushnie.com

JADE SWIM

Need a swimsuit? You’re going to want one of these pretty, minimal designs by former fashion editor and stylist Brittany Kozerski.

Website: jadeswim.com

CHRISTOPHER JOHN ROGERS

The 26-year-old designer from Louisiana was one of the hottest tickets at New York Fashion Week in February 2020, and high-profile ladies like Michelle Obama and Cardi B. have worn his unique, colorful pieces. Find his clothing exclusively at Net-a-Porter online.

Website: christopherjohnrogers.com

MATEO NEW YORK

Matthew Harris of Mateo New York is a self-taught jewelry designer hailing from Montego Bay, Jamaica, and living in NYC. Shop here for beautifully minimal 14k-gold fine jewelry.

Website: mateonewyork.com

TELFAR

Looking for something truly magical and out there? Consider designer Telfar Clemens, whose hybrid pieces (hello, “sweatpant jeans” and “scarf-collar shirt”) really stand out.

Website: telfar.net

FENTY

DUH.

Website: fenty.com

PYER MOSS

Founded by designer Kerby Jean-Raymond in 2013, Pyer Moss uses its platform for social change, storytelling, and activism as well as art and design. For shopping, come for the bright, matching suits, glam, and pleated gowns and stay for comfy sweats and jeans.

Website: pyermoss.com

                                         + More Brands Here +

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reblog for good fortune all 2020