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Sexy Mother Russia - TWB90 Episode Notes

<<p>This is not about elections, steel dossiers, or FBI reports I will never read. This is all about how sexy, crazy, cool, and dangerous those Russians can be on screen and off.

Movies with actors doing Russian Things:

Vanessa Angel from Spies Like Us

Viggo Mortenson from that one killer movie, Eastern Promises

Everyone in White Nights. Even Gregory Hines, a defector from the U.S. Mikhail Baryshnikov, Helen Mirren, and Isabella Rossellini

Salt - Angelina Jolie

Red Sparrow is a film, starring Jennifer Lawrence, about a young ballerina recruited into an elite organization of spies who use sex, not guns as a weapon. 

Red Sparrow opened at the wrong time of the #metoo movement, or was it just in time to justify the cause?

This, That and Other News

The case of Sergei and Anna Chapman. 

Maria Butina who sales couches and US gun toting charm.

This guy fakes his own death to elude an assassination plot. 

Sex coaches offer up the goods, America doesn't bite. 

The Cold War scare. Even in the early eighties, we had to prepare for a potential bomb scare/ nuclear fallout. Duck and cover.

Links to articles reference on this podcast.

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Road Trip Heroes - TWB89

In This Episode

1. Liam Neeson did that to himself.

2. 15:17 To Paris and the Hollywood movie meant for Lifetime.

3. Patriots Day and true event films. How long to wait before we capitalize on a tragedy.

4. When art transcends admiration.

5. Eurotrip: The Movie we don't have now.

Liam Nesson takes the low road, on purpose.

C'mon, bruh, you volunteered this information which allowed the media to run away with it. However, should we care? Will we somehow erase the memory of watching this man portray roles in Schindler's List, Star Wars: Episode One, or all the Taken movies?

What he said was stupid and insensitive. Who he is, is flawed like you and me. 

15:17 to Paris is not a Clint Eastwood, like, Movie - On The Thread

15:17 should begin after the train attack.

Clint Eastwood offended people with some of his views on Hilary Clinton during and after the election. He is a person who is a famous actor and director. Who cares what he thinks. His art is what we relate to the man, not the other way around.

Of his 39 credits as director, 15:17 is far from any exemplary in comparison to his previous productions.

15:17 played too much like a Lifetime movie, which made it almost unbearable to watch.

Recognizable movie and television actors also made it difficult to believe a story that is a true story.

This movie portrays true events with those involved at the time it occurred. Less recognizable actors would make this film more convincing.

Eastwood tried to tell the tale of these four heroes as truthful as he possibly could but ended up hurting Hollywood appeal by coming at this project wearing kids gloves.

Spending twenty minutes with these fellows on vacation while sightseeing was boring.

All the drama occurred at the end of this film, whereas, it ignored the issue of every life that is not so spectacular: the single mother raising her child, the effect of a young boy losing his best friend, and a man’s struggle to find a place in a world where he needed fit in.

Patriots Day and applying Hollywood ascetic to real life events.

The real heroes of this very real event are the first responders. Stories of their bravery in a time of crisis are good stories to be told on Good Morning America or with news outlets, however, to capture the Hollywood flair, movie depiction of horrible events have to include some sort of stretch to the imagination.

Stories change with each retelling.

The shootout at the end of Patriots Day between the two terrorists and law enforcement, although not accurately depicted, added a Hollywood pizazz to events that in realtime occurred quickly and without dramatic pause.

15:17 To Paris reminded me of that EuroTrip Movie in a way but less boring.

If you really want a Eurotrip movie, then stay away from Hostile aka torture porn movies of the early 2000s. Watch this silly film about a high school graduate in search of his pen pal and love of his life.

1. Michelle Trachtenberg of Buffy fame. 2. Matt Damon 3. Stupid comedy movies and the event film. 4. Teen angst movies: there are none. Only things kids are into these days is Juuls and Fortnite. 5. It’s just a different world.

When Art Transcends Admiration - Scoop Du Jour

I was upset by past rhetoric expressed by Clint Eastwood years ago and lost admiration for a man I thought was a great visionary and storyteller. However, one doesn't associate with the other. His thoughts on Hilary Clinton doesn't reflect on his filmmaker vision. 

Reality stars, actors, and sports heroes are not who we imagine them to be in most instances; they are people. What we admire is their art, the characters, and on-screen personas. Nowadays with social media, we know more about them as individuals and it's not flattering.

No matter how mundane they are in comparison to the most popular Twitch streamer or Youtube star, your story matters. If you want to tell that story, go on ahead while the getting is good. We have the technology and other means, so why not? The stupidest person in the world can have a Youtube or blog account.

We invest in idols and the characters we believe they are. Reality stars, actors, and sports heroes, sometimes they are not who we imagine them to be.

No matter how mundane they are in comparison to the most popular Twitch streamer or Youtube star, your story matters. If you want to tell that story, then go on ahead while the getting is good. We have the technology and other means, so why not. The stupidest person in the world likely has a youtube or blog account.

Weekly Gratitude: Our realities might not be great, but they are our stories.

Flava text: Always shoot from the hip.

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

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Sharks Plus Ocean Equals Scary - TWB88

Sharks strike fear in the minds of most people who ever watched Jaws. As frightening a creature they are; however, sharks are never good subjects for a movie. There are very few plots involving sharks in which to script an original film.  Jaws is the best shark film made, and that was just about 40 years ago. Tell the same story over with The Shallows and add in a human element, Open Water, then you might just come close to some decent, but nothing is or will ever be as good as Jaws. 

  In this episode:

  The Shallows and Open Water are two good films that embody the simplicity of a good shark film. 

Crazy shark movies that have to make the animal more terrifying than they are is not embracing the horror most of us feel when we consider swimming in an ocean.

Shark movies should rely on the fear already embedded within our psyche. Prey on the audience by feeding upon the fear most of us have of being in the ocean. 

Scoop Du Jour: Naked Mole Rats and The Probability of the SyFy network. 

      Wow, it’s amazing how this has come full circle. As we near this pinnacle of 100 episodes I revisit episode three of this podcast when we discussed the probability of the SyFy network, and how movies, like, Sharknado would not keep it afloat. 

  Audiences give less attention to the movies, it’s the series that made the probable success of the SyFy network a reality. 

  This, that, other news, and Stingrays:

  Boy gets stung by a shark in the willy-wacker. 

My daughter and her sting ray vacation.

Talk about having something stuck in your head. Try this: insert baby shark song. 

Weekly Gratitude:

  My daughter is alive and for that, I have nature to thank. Our bodies are magnificent machines hellbent on keeping us alive. 

  Flava text:

Shuffle you feet or else bye bye go your pee-pee.

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Netflix at The Oscars With Steven Spielberg

My Oscar ballot results and then some. 

Show notes coming soon. 

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Looking back on this movie in relation to the title of the film, there should be a more artist approach to this biopic for the band Queen and not the man Freddy Mercury. At face value, Bohemian Rhapsody is a paint-by-the-numbers biopic without the celebratory weight of a meaningful story.

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Bohemian Travesty - TWB86

  They dangle Freddy Mercury on screen just long enough for us to pat at the plight of this man who (may have) suffered secretly with his sexuality but extroverted himself through music, another gift born unto him. To know what empowered Mercury to sing is to know the truth behind the lyrics of songs endeared by millions.

  Same goes with the talents of his bandmates and what inspired them to form a band named Smile. Whether it be audiences short attention spans or the parameters of constraining a film to under one-hundred and sixty minutes, Queen’s biopic lacks the importance of truth beyond the entertainment.

  Headlines: 

  Freddie Mercury was Queen. Sorry, you have to hear that.

Bohemian Rhapsody was initially a Freddy Mercury biopic with Sacha Baron Cohen casts as the lead singer.

Bohemian Rhapsody featuring the music of Queen, and my aversion to the biopic.

Are biopics, those unwilling to take risks, worth the cost?

This, That, and Other News

Queen wrote and performed the theme song for Highlander: The Movie and Highlander the series. The show and the movie were my first exposure to Queen’s music. I’ve listened to We Are the Champions and We Will Rock You deservingly without ever knowing the artists performing the songs until Highlander debuted on television.

 That pesky comet,  Oumuamua, might be alien. Then again, it may not be alien.

Woman calls the cops on a whale, seriously. This is what happens to the Open Water franchise. Why do people call the cops for things they should mind on their own. Get your own cat out the tree, Timmy!

Weekly Gratitude:

Doc says I’m healthy, like a bull. I say you’re full of ..it.

Flava text:

Nothing really matters.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

 http://talkingwithburritos.com/86

  We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

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State of Fear 2018

Halloween and keeping the horror simple, stupid.

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Hollywood, We Have a Problem with Movie Franchises

Remakes and Franchises make movie watching boring these days. Same ol’ this and with a sprinkle of that thing already imagined. Jurassic World and Ocean’s 8 are two examples of films —this summer— whose failure to deviate from the plot and character development of it’s precursors to produced a final product that hit all the marks of fanfare but lacked originality.

What's In This Episode

Weighing down Jurassic World: Kingdom is a story that went way off the grid of believability, but conforms to the beloved moments of the first film, Jurassic Park.

Sicario, is new to the franchise market, but can it survive as a profitable film series to a story that needed no sequel?

With a cast of eight actresses and the potential to breath new life into this forgotten franchise, Ocean’s 8 failed to create a better version of the original film by sticking to the Soderbergh heist movie formula.

I blame tween novels, and the social media experience.

  We’re always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

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Subscribe Me - TWB83

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment.

  But Machete don't tweet. Okay, well leave us a voicemail or email:

Phone 520-775-1690

Email contact@talkingwithburritos.com

  In This Episode...

  The movie theatre is a venue; a luxury, to which only some of us can afford to indulge regularly. Subscription services, like, Movies Pass, Stubs, and Cinemark’s Movie Club make that indulgence a more considerable option than waiting for movies to premiere on Netflix. No matter who’s paying, it’s a great experience when we’re paying less.

  1. Movie Pass is a great concept but a horrible business model based on the average subscription holder not going to movies.

  2. Studios could totally ruin the nostalgia of watching movies in theaters but also increase attendance with Episodic Movie or the Event Film.

Links Mentioned in This Episode

Amc shops subscription model, Stubs.

Variety Alamo draft house and Season Pass

Best years for summer movies supplied by Ranker

  Where To Subscribe and Listen

Podcast subscription page 

Listen on Apple Podcast:

Or download to your Android with Google Podcasts

If you enjoyed this episode, leave a review with Apple Podcasts iTunes!

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Black Panther is The Only Black James Bond We Need - TWB82

Black Panther is the only black James Bond we need. He has the tech, a suave demeanor, and the well intent to undermine criminal minds who threaten his nations. It would be great to have a black James Bond character on the big screen but as long as he or she is not James Bond and more Bond-like. I’m bored of remakes and studio attempts to reinsert old titles into the modern day film industry by way of cultural appropriation: Female Ghostbusters, a black James Bond. Good ideas. Lazy imagination.

The sole popularity of the title and name of a product (the film) remains the only selling point for the repurposing a franchise with different faces of gender or race.

I hate the idea of that guy from Get Out as black bond; it’s only an accurate casting because he's British.

In this Episode:

Traits Black Panther and James Bond share

Starks and T-Challa

The opposite moral compass

What makes a King - Scoop du Jour

Snipes and the Blank Panther Film that never was

No matter how you spin it, movies don't have a race.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Wesley Snipes and the Black Panthermovie that never was but came to become.

Daniel Kaluuya as James Bond

Weekly Gratitude:

Always bet on black, and please pay your taxes. 

FLAVA TEXT THIS WEEK: 

Don't sneak up on me like that colonizer.

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

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Phone 520-775-1690

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  WHERE TO SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN:

The full catalog, minus, shownotes

Our podcast subscription page

Listen on Apple Podcast:

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If you enjoyed this episode, leave a review with Apple PodcastsiTunes!

Thanks for listening.

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Thanos featuring The Avengers - TWB80

In two movies, Disney and Marvel, (kinda) redefined or rather reintroduced the sympathetic villain into the mainstream zeitgeist: Kilmonger and Thanos. We may not like the pain Thanos inflicts on Earth's Mightiest Heroes in Avengers Infinity War but you gotta like the guy; he has conviction and purpose. Sure he's crazier than a raccoon climbing a skyscraper, vicious, and a bit of a psychopath. However, he's also compassionate and empathetic. Violence is just the result of the many obstacles impeding the progress of best-laid plans. Not to applaud his efforts and eventual success but there is reasoning to his logic and it's rooted in the history of our world and The Good Book.

What's on the Menu:

How Disney solved the villain problem with Thanos?

Thanos sympathizes with the plight universe, but are his motives are not without some truth filled obscurities?

Thanos’ logic may be unsound but it’s not without reason if you read the Bible.

Likable but unlikeable villains

With Infinity War, the Marvel Universe just expanded into the Marvel Infinite.

My theories on where the MCU cinematic universe goes from here.

Weekly Gratitude: Live each day as if it were your last, and don’t listen to this stupid statement. Live each day with the intent of seeing tomorrow and continuing to exist, create, and love.

Links:

Comcasts hostile bid for Fox. 

Who is Adam Warlock?

Flava text: Ashes to ashes dust to dust. Woman, I said don’t look back!

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment.

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Solo is The Ultimate George Lucas Clapback - TWB81

Solo is an entertaining movie and could possibly be more to audiences if we could accept him --the individual, Solo-- as the main character rather than a sidekick who just so happens to be the baby daddy to certain Skywalker progeny. This movie isn't necessary to the canon, however, has the potential to payout and entertaining storyline if we care to wait for forthcoming sequels.

People “riding’ Solo for the all wrong reasons.

Solo is not a bad film, only unnecessary to the storyline we already know exists of the infamous Hans Solo of the first trilogy. Han has redeemable qualities and that just does not work for a scoundrel. This is a lawless land. Let us witness its lawlessness. Go raw. Go dark. Surprise the audience with a captivating story of a criminal who is a criminal.

Rogue One is a far better film than Solo.

The mission was to take down the Destroyer by any means necessary. The stakes were such that no one would survive. There was an ending to that tale, whereas, with Solo there is more to beget. The story continues without fulfilling a need to expose Solo for who he and not what he became after his adventures with the Skywalkers.

Solo as a summer tentpole movie: meant to entertain.

There just isn’t much importance to this film in relation to the current Star Wars Saga, however, if my theory suggests then maybe this explains the origins of a newly birthed Star Wars legend.

Is there still such a thing as a summer tentpole with one studio dominating the market. Disney has a gambit of films debuting this summer. Every other studio fails in its comparison. Investing in preexisting titles and not taking a chance on original not-so-sure-shots drys the well dampened by only one studio entity, Disney.

Early May and April are too early for summer releases.

Summer movies start early, in April. June is the true beginnings of the Summer film season. Actually, it’s always been Memorial Day. Here are my expectations and movies I look forward to watching this summer.

Scoop du Jour: The Preordain Clapback.

Why you should always have a plan of retaliation in social media beef.

Links mention in this episode:

This video of the Loch Ness monster is nothing to swoon over. 

George Lucas wanted to go all metaphysical with the Jedi sequels. 

This video of the Loch Nessmonster is nothing to swoon over.

George Lucaswanted to go all metaphysical with the Jedi sequels.

It started with Pusha T's Infrared. Got serious with Drake's Duppy Freestyle, and ended with the Story of Adidon. How much more cinematic can you get?

Cryptoid of the Week:

There has been another siting of a Loch Ness log.

Flava Text: Never trust anyone.

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

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Phone 520-775-1690

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Our podcast subscription page

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Blade Runner and The Search For Existential Life

Blade Runner continues the conversation it began thirty-five years ago with an even deeper questioning of the morality to creating life and when life finds a way. Since Jeff Goldblum stuttered those words in the first Jurassic Park, the question of life coming into being outside the control of its creator is not just a popular quote but a think well consideration. If we[humans] are to be the next creators of life then we must take the responsibility of allowing life to live, breath, and think without interference.

Comment on this episode, ask a question or share what entertains you by visiting www.talkingwithburritos.com/79

EPISODE MENU

Human soul 46:01

Camouflage robots 44:41

Wired In 39:26

Sex Robots is how Skynet takes over 34:50

Bots Be Talking on Facebook 31:11

Dystopian Movies and YA novels 30:31

Does art have a place in box office 27:52

2049 Bombs and the BO 23:15

Farmhouse Cinematography 19:29

K and Joi 17:46

Blade Runner Review 14:08

Blackout 2022 10:00

Essential Burrito 8:27

Life finds a way 7:23

4k DVD Magic 0:24

THIS, THAT, AND OTHER NEWS: How I know we are headed for a Blade Runner-like dystopia:

The Great Szechuan Fiasco.

In August, Facebook had to shut down an AI experiment because the bots formed their own language and began communicating with one another. 

Scientists created a skin to help camouflage robots. I shouldn’t have to speak on this much and only reference you to the movie T2 and the T5000.

Headline Sex robot frenzy: Horney fans so excited they grope interactive love doll until it breaks. Dummies.

Wired In: Andriod Feels (Jay's Dish)

  FLAVA TEXT THIS WEEK:

If God did not exist, everything would be permitted - Dostoevsky

 Episode Length 50:58:00

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Our podcast subscription page 

 Listen on Apple Podcast with your iOS device for free!

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Alien Free Fire in The Phoenix Sky

Previously on the Poduritto: the makings of the creature feature. That two hours in the afternoon or late evenings during the eighties when networks broadcasted films spanning from the 1930's to the 1960's. Monsters, aliens, and larger than life creatures fed our imaginations fear and excitement for the unknown.

  Episode 76 focused on Kong: Skull Island movie and taking the human element out of the creature feature in an effort to learn more about the creature and it's existence. Ever think there would be a female Kong? Or who gave birth to that weird Son of Godzilla?

Exactly, these thematic creatures  are too wrapped up in caring for us homo sapiens and rarely do we focus on the creature within its environment.

  Episode 77 we delved into the Dark Universal with The Mummy circa Tom Cruise. And Although this movie performed horribly at the box office, I don't think it will kill the franchise. What they [Universal] needs is to introduce the more obscure tales from this universe and not focus on popular names such as Dracula, Werewolf, or Mummy.

For the third installment of this continued discussion... Aliens; they fit in neither the category of monster or creature but fall into the unknown. We don't fear them as much as we are intrigued by them. Give us a reason to be afraid and I'm sure we'll piss our pants. But until that time comes curiosity will have to reign supreme within the space of our feeble minds.

  For full show show notes visit: www.talkingwithburritos.com/78

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Mummy Curses The Dark Universe - TWB77

Takeout episodes Let's stir up some ancient Egyptian dust with The Mummy circa 2017 starring Tom “The Maverick” Cruise aka the last of the action hero and answer the question this failure should not be the end all for  Universal Dark Universe.  

FOR STARTERS

What The Mummy does for Dark Universal is make it harder for the studio to establish some credibility with audiences. And as inconceivable as it may sound, this may not be at the end all stake in the heart for this franchise. There is hope and it has webbed feet. Also, The truth about the risk of watching movies: criticism in the age of easily accessed opinions. The heat is on as movies continue to not garner much excitement and fail at the box office. But who’s fault is it: the studio or the critics? Jokes 01: Yo mummy so old, they buried her in bandages. Jokes 02: Yo mummy so old, she knows Brenden Frazier. Brendan Frasier's career is like the elusive Bigfoot or Val Kilmer.

Dark Universe Monsters are not creatures, right?

We started this discussion of Kong and The Creature Feature and the creatures spawned from nature's creation. Now, we enter into the realm of the Creature Feature rooted in the monsters spawned from our imagination and fears. Between the 1930’s and 1950, Universal produced many monster movies and labeled this thread of films The Dark Universe. Although monstrous in their actions Dracula, The Mummy, Werewolf, and Frankenstein they were all human-like in their origins. Plucked from English lore and adapted into motion pictures, this new wave of successful monster films made Universal a major contingency in the film industry at a time when cowboys were a dime a dozen. Like many things Hollywood, the creature feature movie had its moment before audiences moved onto the next best thing. Movies, like, Jaws, Aliens, Night of the Living Dead... Horror movies with credibility back by money and ingenuity. Cheesy string effects and damsels in distress were replaced with violence and neighborhood evils we could relate to within the world of our reality. Can’t say that I was a huge fan of the creature feature monster movies, especially the baleful black and white films popularized in twenty years before American syndication. They weren’t cartoonish nor were comical, like, The Munsters but they did scare me. I spent most of the time during these movies watching through my eyelids, so I’m not an expert nor too reliable a witness to account my experience as a young boy watching what was then the only horror movies I had access to viewing. Relaunching the creature feature films of the Dark Universe as this new franchise is brilliant, however, flawed in its introduction to the contemporary media of today. Most of us older folks know The Mummy films as Brendan Frasier playing an Indiana Jones-like character in search of artifacts touring places where curses result in serious repercussions. Those movies were good because they were a fun and a well formatted reimaging of the less action-y Mummy films of the 1930’s and 1940’s.

One stark difference between The Mummy 1999 and The Mummy 2017 is that the Mummy 1999 was good.

The 1999 Mummy’s introduced the character or concept of the Mummy to audiences in a different way a was fun, fast moving, action packed. Fast forward some twenty years and we get the same type of Mummy movie with Tom Cruise as a fast-talking Tom Cruise tomb robber who helps to unearth a secret hidden thousands of years ago that is simultaneously being sought after by a nefarious no-good do-gooder, Dr. Jekyll aka director of the tour de resistance Bureau of Antiquities (a nod to the book and original movie I believe). This 2017 Mummy actually made worse the 1999 Mummy that still holds up. The two stars of this movie Cruise and Russell Crow added no additional benefit to the film than to have attached to the project a couple of notable names for the summer tentpole plot. The inclusion of Dr. Jekyll was an obvious attempt to set up the franchise rather than serve a much-needed purpose for this particular movie. Russell Crowe-- or the actor formerly known-- as, dials in an underrated performance for a role he doesn’t fit. Jekyll has always been presented as a more suave Englishman. Crowe’s interpretation of the scientist on the edge was more brutish in stature and less believable in his portrayal. You never really believe that everything he says is the truth. So, I guess he fits the role as a shyster and not necessarily a mild-mannered introvert. The better casting would be to have Crowe as the Director of the Bureau of Antiquities and Dr. Jekyll played by a Hiddleston or Jude Law.

All work and no play makes Jack Reacher a dull boy

Tom Cruise needs to get back to work and take on roles that are less saturated in action and hijinks and more challenging to his acting abilities. I love Mission Impossible and Edge of Tomorrow, and hell, I’ll probably enjoy this Luna Park movie, however, I do miss seeing him stretch his challenge his own acting abilities. Movies like Collateral (all-time favorite) and Magnolia, which I haven’t seen; Born on The Fourth of July, Interview With A Vampire, Jerry Maguire, A Few Good Men… Tom Cruise can act, but we haven't actually seen him acting in a while. *Why can Tom Cruise just have fun doing the projects he likes? *Death of the movie star. Studios now have all the control.

The Underwhelming Success of The Mummy Doesn't Doom The Dark Universe; just make it harder for us to care.

Universal slated eight releases for the next ten to fifteen years. Frankenstein, Dracula, The Wolfman, The Invisible Man, most of us are familiar with all of these in some way or another because of remakes within the past, say, twenty years. All of them horrible. Recent Remakes of The Dark Universe

I, Frankenstein

Hollow Man

Dracula Untold

Wolfman

Therein lies the problem: too much of dependency on preexisting characters when there are at least a handful more with this lot of monsters audiences know little to nothing about. Obscure Dark Universe Titles To Consider

Weird Woman

The Frozen Ghost

Pillow Of Death

The Mole People

Any of the titles listed could kick off a franchise going in a new direction. Go with the lesser known movies; ignorance sells more than notability (in most cases). With the less known, there is the ability to envision a true beginning and set the stage for a character or set of characters we haven't seen a movie from in ages.

Chew On This:

Why when we think of Dracula does he has a widow's peak, pale skin, and a black cape? Because the movie gave us an image of the character from the page.

Bram Stokers Dracula and Nosforatu - Two Draculas who do not fit the stereotypical mold.

Almost every person who read Twilight pictured Bella and sparkle boy not as being Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson, however, we do now.

Audiences like to be surprised, and what higher of a cliff to jump off of would there be than to introduce newcomers to this genre of film with a movie no studio (even Universal) has sought to remake ever: The Creature From the Black Lagoon. Here’s a monster no one particularly likes as a model monster that is known by the masses. He’s no Dracula or Wolfman. He is obscure, a derelict among notable names with too much film history weighing down their up swim to the surface of contemporary media. The Creature From the Black Lagoon poses an interesting challenge to anyone brave enough to script a movie about a lake creature who sees a girl and terrorizes people to get her.

Creature from the Lagoon would not fit into the current action narrative of this “Dark Universe.”

For this movie and the ongoing success of the franchise, there would have to be some major changes made to the production of future films starting with the budget. Cut it by, like, sixty percent of The Mummy (2017) and plan to make three movies instead of making one movie for $110 million with aging stars who haven't banked huge box office successes in quite some time. Hire some directors on the indie circuit who specialize in horror, like Ana Lily Amirpour who took a different approach to conceptualizing dystopian life as we would not like to know it in The Bad Batch, and who concocted a vampire spaghetti western in A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night.

Universal needs to think Disney before moving forward with the next Dark Universe Film.

Use your movie money wisely Universal and invest in more content. Disney has had a lot of success but they are invested in this keeping the creativity flowing and doing so by hiring an assortment of directors to produce films within the franchises the aim to keep around for years to come. They had some misses but continue to create. Jump off the blockbuster bandwagon already. Series are where the money is at the moment. Learn from Warner Bros and Disney and tell the stories of the characters within the realm of this dark franchise. We need this now, more than ever. Take the bottom of the totem pole and climb to the top that is Dracula. Disney didn’t get to the Avengers without Iron Man. The Avengers is the product of Iron Man, Thor, and even The Incredible Hulk. Sergio Leone didn’t get to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly without A Fist Full Of Dollars. Exercise some risk and make a damn good Mole People movie or Creature From the Black Lagoon. This studio could produce at least four films for the cost of one Mummy and release some lesser known titles within the Universal Dark through a subsidiary company or streaming outlets like Netflix or Hulu. Keep it simple and give the audience what they want and right now that’s content is horror. If an indie shark movie with Mandy Moore can drum up business on a shoestring budget, I’m sure a company with a long history of successes and cash talent could get audiences excited about something that isn’t comic book inspired.

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The Scoop Dujour - Criticism and The Risk of Watching Movies

Criticism is not new. Before the internet: you picked up a newspaper, flipped to the entertainment section and read the latest review from your favorite entertainment columnist. However, now, in the age of accessibility, many of those single opinions operate as a collective voice within sites like Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic. Good or bad, the review was less than a scathing hit piece and more like work of art. Words weren’t necessarily meant to hurt or influence someone away from watching a film (in most cases), but to inform and give moviegoers insight from a professional point of view. Leading columnist got their status’s from people; the people who respected their opinions or found them entertaining. There weren’t scores to urge potential ticket buyers to either avoid or deluge box offices around the country in the name of a certain film title. People read reviews either because A. they couldn’t make it to the cinema, B. enjoyed talking about movies, or C. the talent reviewing the film. Take some of the more popular news rags of the 1980’s with Ebert going at everyone he disagreed with about a film. Ebert was an expert at both subjective and objective criticism of a film. What if one of his columns was reduced to 140 characters or less. Side Effects: Steven Soderbergh, starts off telling one story only to abruptly shift gears in order to tell a completely different one. Three stars There are 879 more words to this article that lays out the film’s plot, Rooney Mara’s awesome performance in only her second movie acting, and a criticism of Soderbergh's overuse of the long shot. It’s not that Rotten Tomatoes is bad for the information it provides; we’re just lazy visual stimulus monkeys who prefer pretty colors and cute shapes. Anyone of us searching that site or any other magazine site like it could click on the review from the critic that takes us to their site and read all of what they wrote for a better understanding of their opinion.

There is more to criticism than 140 or 240 charcaters and an icon.

It hurts to read from a phone, and that’s why we swipe. We swipe, swipe, and keep swiping until convincing ourselves that all those pretty little shapes are worth the night out and dollars spent. We need a tender site for movie critics. Keep swiping until someone with trusting eyes and a love for Michael Bay action kittens catches our attention. Our laziness takes the risk out of watching movies which for me is the fun of it all. I liken the feeling to the days of Blockbuster video when you would search the shelves for movies and pick one based on the fact you liked the cover. Sure, the movie was shit bad but every now and then it was worth the risk. The risk in watching movies is an experience in watching movies. You never know whatcha gonna get. There is, however, an economic aspect to consider. Why waste your hard earned dollars on a film you know you will not like? That’s when film criticism works logistically. However, I urge you delve into why this critic gave that film whatever score so that your decision is better swayed by your own reason for deduction rather than some pretty icons Did you know that Rotten Tomato and Metacritic scores are a combination of reviews from critics who contribute to those sites? Critics have websites where any one of us could find a plethora of opinionated pieces to sway you in a more knowledgeable direction. Don't just read the tweet, find out the why in the story and be better informed. Or...or you can just take your chances, watch the movie, and form an opinion for yourself -- like me. Remember a tomato is a fruit. Grows on a vine. And just as you sometimes buy fruit that doesn't taste good, how will you ever know if you don't cut it up and sample what's inside?  

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Is Rotten Tomatoes Ruining Movies - Wired http://variety.com/2015/film/news/tom-cruise-doug-liman-luna-park-1201588976/

FLAVA TEXT THIS WEEK: Ya Motha!

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Talking With Burritos Presents A New Episode!

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Colossal Kong and The Creature Feature - TWB76

The 80’s welcomed in a different type of horror movie which steered away from the fear of the atomic 50’s and the boujee-ness of the 1960’s Euporean bloodsuckers. Horror did not necessarily include monsters but monstrous figures committing monstrous acts. In the late 70’s and 80’s, the movie monster replaced cheesy storylines with utter suspense and terror, like, Jaws (1975) and Alien (1979). Long were the days of monsters coming from afar outer space to terrorize earth, no, the monsters were next door in your own neighborhood and not so easy to dispose of. As a kid, I watched (whenever permissible) creature features on television and sometimes those “creature features” were more Sci-Fi than epic monsters. The King Kong movies, Godzilla, gigantic mutant insects, and aliens were a common staple of this genre but then there was Dracula and Werewolves sprinkled into the play mix. These were all considered horror movies at the time before they were all lumped into the distinctive category of The Creature Feature. Comment on this episode, ask a question or share what entertains you by visiting our website.

EPISODE MENU

3:58 - Colossal is the creature feature of this era of humanization in creature feature films. 9:06 - King Kong, Godzilla, Them!, are these films horror movies or creature features? 10:27 - Kong: Skull Island is just Moby Dick with a large ape instead of a whale. 18:43 - King Kong is a good example of the imbalance of nature vs man. 23:31 - Nature's wonderful miracles will eat your face off. 26:30 - Hunting on the Oregon Trail; fend for yourself or die of starvation or disease. 33:3o - Hunting is taking a knife into the woods and seeing what happens. 35:52 - In the movies, Kong and Godzilla are nature's way of balancing things. What's keeping us in check?

FOR STARTERS

Ann Hathaway plays party girl Gloria who has to move back to her hometown when her fed-up boyfriend kicks her out of his apartment. Things quickly get weird when she discovers that she — by matters of pure obscure coincidence— controls a monster that terrorizes South Korea every evening after one of Gloria’s binge drinking fits. read review

SCOOP DU JOUR : The Natural Balance and Godzilla

The natural balance of nature was disrupted by the presence of an ancient creature. This event awakens Godzilla who must restore the balance set awry by the presence of this other beast. That’s why Kong was based in the seventies and not today. It wasn’t that Godzilla wanted to save mankind, he just wanted to eradicate that thing which should not exist within nature without a counterbalance. With Warner Bros. and it’s Monsterverse now established, it will be interesting to see if the next set of movies within this franchise focuses less on the humanization of the monsters and more on their need to exist because nature requires them to live.

We're On Your Favorite Social Media App! @talkingburritos and #showyourburrito, let me know your thoughts on this episode.

THIS, THAT, AND OTHER NEWS

Administration temporarily lifted on importing of elephant trophies and then thinks otherwise.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

Picture of the baby rhino who lost its mother to poachers

Wildlife conservation and saving to kill

The attempt to lift sanctions on hunting endangered species, like, the grizzly bear.

Poachers take rhino horns at a French zoo.

The killing of a white wolf in one of our national parks

FLAVA TEXT THIS WEEK:

That sounds like a bird, but it's a f$%king ant.

Episode Length 37:41

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

But Machete don't tweet. Okay, well leave us a voicemail or email:

Phone 520-775-1690

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WHERE TO SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN:

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Talking With Burritos Presents A New Episode!

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Wunza Movie, Wunza Singer - TWB75

Wunza a movie and wunza a podcast about wunza movies, James Cameron, and Taylor Swift. What happens when your favorite show ends or gets canceled? Your automatic response is to price the cost of tickets to Hollywood so that you can burn the entire city to the ground… Vesuvius style. I’m talking to you Netflix; it wasn’t that you canceled Sense 8, it was that you were so smug afterward that people had no other choice but to berate your customer service reps with annoying phone calls begging you to bring back the show. Comment on this episode, ask a question or share what entertains you by visiting our website.

EPISODE MENU

[1:18] Roger Ebert and the wunza movie. [1:50] Hitman's Bodyguard and don't you think the roles should have been reversed. [3:02] One of my favorite wunza movies is 48 HRs with Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy. [7:51] Kylo Logan; let's review Lucky Logan. [12:21] James Cameron got in some hot dookie after stating the truth about Wonder Woman... the film. [26:03] Throw Atomic Blonde into the mix of feminism. [31:58] What to do when your favorite show is canceled or not renewed, which means canceled. [32:41] Downward Dog, I really love that show and ABC canceled it this summer. [34:48] Sense 8 canceled after two seasons. C'mon, couldn't we at least get three? [43:36] What you can do when your favorite show ends. [50:36]Listener question. [53:37]Taylor Swift really needs to sit down and be humble.  

FOR STARTERS

Robert Ebert to this day is my favorite movie critic; Ebert and Stephen King when Stephen King reviews movies for EW. Roger Ebert.com is my source for trusted movie criticism these days and also, there is this pop culture writer I enjoy reading who writes for Wired Magazine, her name is Angela Watercutter and if there is anyone worth reading these days, her stuff is worth the pop culture indulgence. Roger Ebert phrased this term, the wunza movie, which consists of two individuals: one is a blank and the other is a blank and together they will do blank. Example Two: Nic Guys One is a small-time private dick and the other a muscle for hire who must work together to solve a murder. Example Two: 48 Hours. One is a crook and the other is a cop working to capture a prison escapee. Example Three: Hitman’s Bodyguard One is a disgraced bodyguard and the other a hitman who is the key witness in the trial of a Russian leader suspected of the genocide.

Not-so-Bosom Buddies and Hitman's Bodyguard

Hitman’s Bodyguard was more a spoof of a 48hrs and Nice Guys or the wunza movie. Although, nice guys and 48 hrs contained many humorous moments worth the laughter, the story maintains rooted in the human element and the evolution of the relationship between the two different people forced into this unfortunate situation.  

The Human Element

The human element is where Hitman’s Bodyguard misses out on an opportunity to become one of those wunza movies we take seriously. Samuel L Jackson and Ryan Reynolds make an awesome duo, however, their roles should be reversed; Sam should be the bodyguard, an older experienced man of duty, with Reynolds as the young cocky hitman. Jackson's portrayal of a hip energetic fast-talking assassin played perfectly in line with his coolness, however, it didn’t bode well for the fatherly relationship he later established with his younger bodyguard.

Jack Cates and Reggie Hammond

Consider the relationship between Jack Cates and Reggie Hammond; these two detest one another as did Bryce (Reynolds) and Kincaid (Jackson) the two characters in Hitman’s Bodyguard, but which pair was more believable? Cates and Hammond’s relationship developed after a series of detours, rundowns, and attempts at Hammonds' escaping custody. Cates continually taunts Hammond throughout the movie, never really showing any remorse or concern for his well-being — 48hrs ends with Cates punching Hammonds in the face. The two were jokey but not in that slapstick sort of way; their comedy materializes from the many potholes they experience in search of Ganz, Hammond’s former partner in crime.

Byrce and Kincaid

Bryce and Kincaid weren’t able to necessarily share in one another’s misery necessary to develop a true pseudo-relationship. Maybe it was because they had killers on their backsides attempted to thwart their attempt to get Kincaid to the courthouse in time before the dismissal of the case a corrupt government official, or maybe it was all this back and forth with the government and Interpol that disrupted the continuity of the wunza story. Whatever the case, Kincaid, and Bryce were very likable but not well established as two individuals we should care about; they were more comedians than a hitman and bodyguard.

Selma Hayek Should Guard Her Hitman’s Body

The best comedic moment came with Hayek’s foul-mouthed tirades. As Sonai Kincaid, Selma Hayek plays wife to the Hitman who's doing time by association for her husband’s misdeeds. When we first meet her, she lays on the thick Spanish accent with such profanity-laced fluidity to a couple of FBI agent that just warms the vulgarity in all of us. The previous movie I saw her in was How To Be A Latin Lover, and although she’s a good English speaker, she’s even better when they let her Spanish fly.

Logan Lucky and This Side of The Come Up

Heist movies are dependent on the stakes involved and for Jimmy Logan, the stakes are rather modest: he just wants to catch a break and the Indy 500 is right for the pawn. read the review

SCOOP DU JOUR: What to do when a show you enjoy ends or is canceled

Petition.

Watch something new

Read a book.

Question: Is it better to start a show late or watch and wait for an episode each week?  

We're On Your Favorite Social Media App! @talkingburritos and #showyourburrito, let me know your thoughts on this episode.

THIS, THAT, AND OTHER NEWS

Columnists berate James Cameron over sexist statements about Wonder Woman that were not entirely wrong. Wonder Woman is an overrated success. There was no malice to his statements, however, defenders (and Patty Jenkins herself) have dragged Cameron through the mud because he's not a woman, which, I took offense too because he his a Hollywood director and he knows a bit about the ilk of studio heads and producers who only see dollar signs.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

FLAVA TEXT THIS WEEK:

Nice guys finish last, and Shane Black is a nice guy.  

Episode Length 01:01:43

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

But Machete don't tweet. Okay, well leave us a voicemail or email:

Phone 520-775-1690

Email contact@talkingwithburritos.com

WHERE TO SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN:

The full catalog, minus, shownotes

Our podcast subscription page 

Apple Podcast: Listen and subscribe with your iOS device for free!

Or download to your Android device using these suggested apps: Subscribe on Android

If you enjoyed this episode, leave a review on Apple Podcast!

Thanks for listening!

Talking With Burritos Presents A New Episode!